> One hoof at a time
>  by SkarinOfAtmora
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> 1 - The Phantom of Canterlot
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The throne room was silent. Guards stared at the scene before them, some even dropping their spears from the initial shock. The gathered nobles who somehow got word of this urgent summon couldn't believe their greedy eyes. Princess Luna sat wide-eyed, her mind trying to make sense of what was happening but it simply could not do it. Celestia's mouth was partly opened, a slight frown on her features. It takes a lot, and I mean a lot to leave the solar princess speechless. Fancy Pants felt a little embarrassed at the scene he caused but it simply had to be done. He looked to his new friend who was clearly uncomfortable with the entire situation, his head hung very low to the red carpet, wings sagging on his sides in a useless fashion. Had his friend stood tall and proud as Fancy Pants knew he could, he would be as tall as Celestia herself, if not taller, and only a few inches taller than Luna. Taking a deep breath, Fancy Pants took one step forward and, once again, addressed the diarchs of Equestria.

"Princess Celestia. Princess Luna. " he said with a curt bow that the two alicorns barely registered "I believe it would be best if I explained how I found my friend here. You see, it was late at night when I heard noises coming from my backyard... "



For about two weeks now, the city of Canterlot has been terrorized by what has been dubbed The Phantom of Canterlot. The reason I say terrorized is because so far nopony has been hurt, injured or scared to death was because, well... Nopony has actually seen him. Strange noises became the norm on Canterlot nights and everytime somepony thought The Phantom was around, it turned out it was a stray cat or racoon. But the citizens knew better. Something was out there in the dark, lurking, waiting, going through the dumpsters and drinking out of their fountains. One stallion swore he saw it three nights ago drinking from the fountain on the main square. He said it was large and deffinitely had a horn too. But since it was an especially foggy night and the square was barely lit, the stallion was soon dissuaded by his neighbors and The Phantom became speculatiin once again.

Fancy Pants and his wife Fleur barely concerned themselves with the issue. Princess Luna personally lead a squad of her Night Guard to scour the streets and find this Phantom but when the search yielded no fruits, The Phantom was downgraded to a simple rumor being spread around by the chatty townsponies. But on this night, everything is about to change as a nice dinner was interrupted by strange noises coming from the backyard.

"Honey, could it be The Phantom? " Fleur asked with a worried look.

"Nonsense, my dear." Fancy chuckled and adjusted his monocle "Princess Luna made sure that nothing was lurking the streets at night and I believe-"

WHAM

"OW! Son of a-" both Fancy's and Fleur's eyes turned to pinpricks as their head slowly turned towards the door that lead to the backyard. One of Fleur's ears perked up hen she heard rummaging sounds.

"It's The Phantom! It's going through our trash just like everypony said it does!" Fleur pointed a hoof towards the door before dashing to her husbands side "We must inform the guards! "

"C-calm down, Fleur. I am sure it's just a racoon. " Fancy nuzzled his wife's cheek but the mare pulled back.

"Racoon's don't talk! " she waved her hooves frantically.

"Maybe he's a talking racoon? " Fancy said with a sheepish smile to which his wife responded with a deadpan look.

"Go. " she pointed her right forehoof towards the door and Fancy sighed in defeat.

"Alright. I shall go out and face this Phantom like a stallion. " he puffed out his chest and trotted towards the door "And by doing so I shall also put to rest this Phantom nonsense. " a bluish glow engulfed the doorknob and Fancy soon found himself in the dark backyard of his house. He peered into the darkness, listening for any sound that may come his way.

CRUNCH

There was something there with him. And it was eating. Fancy swallowed the lump in his throat and bravely took a step forward.

"T-t-to who-o-over is out there, I m-must inform you I have had guard training. " he said shakily and took another step "Hello? Can you hear me? "

CRUNCH

"Dem's some good apples. " Fancy rolled his eyes. Not only was the creature ignoring him, it was eating while doing it. Feeling a little queazy when Fancy realized it was eating out of his dumpster, the unicorn used his horn to create a light to see better.

"I'm talking to... You... Creature... " as the light began to reveal more and more, Fancy's jaw was slowly opening in shock. The Phantom was large and the first thing Fancy saw was a pair of gray hind-legs with black hooves and a straw blonde tail, though both were covered in dirt and trash. There was no sign of a Cutie Mark which was strange given that the stallion appeared to be an adult. Fancy thought it was an unusually big earth pony but then he saw wings, lazily hanging from the stallions body, his front legs holding on to the edge of the dumpster. And then came the detail that almost caused Fancy to faint. While the stallion was going through his dumpster, Fancy could see long mane that matched the tail in color, but the true shock came when he saw a horn on the Phantom's head. Fancy stood frozen on the spot, his eyes locked on the large stallion going through his trash. He stood there for about a minute when the stallion turned his head to look at him. The stallion's muzzle had a fading black front and his blue eyes looked tired and weary. There was a red bandanna wrapped around his neck that was also covered in dirt.

"Did I wake you? Sorry, didn't meant to do that. " the stallion pushed back and to Fancy's surprise almost fell over, as if his legs weren't listening to him. His wings were hanging limply from his body and his legs were wobbling beneath him. The stallion's head was hung low as well, even lower than Fancy's who stood straight "Alright, go ahead, gawk at the abomination. " the stallion said and blew away the mane that got into his eyes "Stupid hair... " Fancy shook his head before blinking at the stallion.

"A-abomination? " he asked flabergasted.

"Freak of nature? Mutant? Take your pick. " the stallion slowly turned and began walking away, his steps very uncertain.

"W-what are you talking about? " Fancy folllowed him, not that it was hard at the pace he was going.

"Or you could scream. That's what the first one did-WHOA! " the stallion tripped over himself but Fancy managed to stop his fall by using his magic "Thanks, but, I should really be going. " the stallion nodded before trying to make his escape.

"Are you alright? Do your legs hurt? " Fancy was once again by his side in case he tripped again.

"My legs are fine, just, I don't kno-forgot, yes, forgot how to use them? " he answered with an awkward smile.

"Forgot how-, did you hit your head? "

"Oh yeah. Smashed right into a tree made of crystal. " he nodded "But that was weeks ago. Look, sorry for waking you and everything, but I really gotta' go before someone finds me. "

"Someone? Don't you mean somepony? "Fancy asked with a confused look and the stallion shrugged shortly "And what is this abomination talk? "

"Look at me! I'm huge, have both wings and a horn! " the stallion turned harshly but lost his balance in the process. Luckily Fancy stopped his fall once again "Thanks. Stupid legs... " he muttered before continuing "I mean, from what I saw there are normal ponies, unicorn's and pegasi and I look like a mix of all three! And everytime someone saw me they either screamed, stared, ran like the wind or, my personal favorite, fainted. So before you drag me off to some cell or I dunno', a lab, at least be a sport and give me a head start cuz' this-" he looked at his unsteady legs "-is embarrassing. " Fancy stared at the stallion with wide eyes before a sympathetic looked took over.

"My dear colt... You don't even know what you are. "

"I'm sure you're about to tell me. " the stallion rolled his eyes.

"You are an alicorn. " Fancy couldn't believe he said that but everything about the stallion pointed to that one conclusion.

"Huh. I honestly thought it'd be a more... Disturbing name for my condition. "

"C-condition? What you are is not a condition! " Fancy reeled back in shock "You are an alicorn! You combine the best pony-kind has to offer! Strength of earth ponies, wings of pegasi and magic of unicorns! How could you not know that? "

"Hit my head, remember? " 

"Oh, right. " Fancy chuckled awkwardly before speaking again "Listen, I can't possibly in good conscience let you continue living like this. "

"I've been doing just fine. "

"Absolutely not! " Fancy stomped his hoof and the stallion flinched "I insist you come inside, have a proper dinner and for Celestia's sake please have a bath! "

"Celestia? Who's that? Like your god or something? " the stallion asked tilting his head and Fancy face-hoofed.

"You really don't know who Celestia is? " the stallion shook his head "She's the ruler of Equestria, alongside her sister Luna? "

"Nada." Fancy sighed deeply before nudging the stallion towards his house.

"Just out of curiosity, why don't you use your magic? " 

"I don't know how. " the stallion replied simply and Fancy's heart sank a little. This stallion really needed help.

"Then, what is your name? " he saw the stallion flinch a little "You don't remember that either? "

"Uhhh... No? " he replied sheepishly and Fancy simply nodded.

"I see. Well, don't you worry, I'm sure the princessess will be able to help you. " Fancy patted his shoulder with a hoof and the stallion lost his balance again "Sorry! "

"Fancy? Is everything alright? " he saw his wife slowly opening the door "You've been out here a long... Time... And... " her expression matched the one her husband had upon seeing the alicorn in his backyard.

"Honey, we will be having a guest. Would you be so kind and give him a proper dinner while I write an urgent letter to the princessess? " Fleur didn't move from her spot and contunued to stare at the alicorn her husband brought to the door " And please close your mouth, darling, lest a bird flies inside.



As Fancy said, Fleur made dinner for their new guest and as a safety prcaution the alicorn suggested they fill their large bathtub, not trusting himself to use a shower without flooding the house. Fancy was kind enough to dry him and his bandana with a simple spell before they showed him to the guest room. It didn't take long for the alicorn to fall asleep as it was the first real bed he's slept in after a long time.

Come morning, Fancy and his alicorn friend made their way towards the castle to see if the princessess could shed some light on the situation.

"Everyone's staring. " the alicorn said to Fancy, his entire posture hunched and head once again as low as it could go, like he wanted to appear as small as possible.

"Well, you are an alicorn. " Fancy stated as he observed ponies whispering, pointing and some even fainting " And a male one at that. "

"So? " the alicorn asked with a raised brow.

"So? My friend, there has never been a male alicorn. Ever. " Fancy stated with grave importance.

"So I am a freak of nature. "

"What? Dear Celestia no! You are... " he waved his hoof around, trying to find the right word "Unique. "

"Unique. Right. " the alicorn rolled his eyes before they widened in horror "Oh fuck... " Fancy didn't understand what he meant, though he assumed it was a curse word, but one look forward told him all he needed to know.

"Stairs. " Fancy sighed, contemplating wether or not he should just levitate the alicorn to the top.

"My mortal enemy. " the alicorn took a tenative step and put a hoof on the first step "This will hurt me a lot more than it will-WHOA!" a sudden case of vertigo caught him as he was lifted off the ground.



"And after that, we come to the here and now. " Fancy motioned to the male alicorn that made himself comfortable by sitting on his haunches "It would appear he suffered head trauma recently since he can't fly, can't use his magic and doesn't even remember his own name. "

"Umm, actually... " all eyes turned to the sitting alicorn who finally held his head high "I think I've got something... "

"Oh? Well, by all means then. " Fancy smiled widely and patted the alicorn on the shoulder "I would like to know the name of my new friend. " and for the first time since Fancy met him, the alicorn was genuinely smiling.

"My name is... Orion. Yes, Orion Pax! And... I come from the far land of Terra! He he! Heh... Orion Pax? Seriously? Why didn't I just say Optimus Prime? And Terra? Stupid! Stupid!" luckily, nopony heard his little rant and if Fancy's smile could wrap around his head it would have.

"It's nice to meet you, Orion. " the unicorn then turned towards the two flabbergasted princessess "Dear atendees of the Court! May I present to you the fabled Phantom of Canterlot, the first male alicorn to ever walk Equestria and my personal friend, Sir Orion Pax from the far away land of Terra! " his grand introduction received no response as everypony was still trying to wrap their heads around the fact a male alicorn was among them. A long and awkward silence followed before Celestia, finally, managed to speak again.

"Huh... "
> 2 - Say aaaaaaah!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Celestia, Luna and Fancy Pants were all standing behind a large glass window. On the other side they could see Orion being examined by the castle's medical staff. Everypony found it hard to believe Orion was an actual alicorn but when Celestia's magical scan revealed there was no transformation magic at work, she decided to let the medical team have a look at him. So far only female alicorns existed: herself, her sister Luna and their mother, Twilight Sparkle, Cadance and Flurry Heart. Only Twilight and Cadance were ascended alicorns but alicorns nonetheless. A male alicorn was unheard of so the question was, where did he come from?

"He's taking this rather well I'd say. " Fancy commented as a nurse was taking a sample of Orion's blood, both looking a little uncomfortable.

"Too well. " Luna added with a grim look "Head injury aside, I don't trust him. He's hiding something. " the blue alicorn looked to her sister who was quietly observing the examination "What do you think, Tia? "

"I don't know. " she looked down in thought "My magic is powerful and if he was a rogue changeling or had evil intentions I would know. " Celestia sighed before raising her head and looked at Orion, the gray alicorn not particularly keen on being prodded from all sides. The Solar alicorn looked at Fancy Pants "How long did he say he was in Canterlot? "

"Two weeks, though it could be more. " Fancy replied, not taking his eyes off his new friend "He's in a really rough condition, dumpster diving aside. " the sisters observed Orion's wings being inspected, feathers broken, twisted and definitely not flight ready "Orion thought he was some abomination and thought the best thing was to hide and not be seen. "

"Abomination? " both sister exclaimed.

"Your Highnesses, with all due respect, Orion has suffered a severe head injury. His mind has not properly recovered and he does not know anything about Equestria. " Fancy then chuckled "He even told me ponies fainted when they saw him, most likely since nopony saw a male alicorn before. " then his expression took on a sad note "When I found him, Orion told me I should give him a head start before I drag him off to a lab or prison cell. "

"But how did we not find him? " Luna stomped her hoof in agitation "I lead the search party myself when that Phantom nonsense was going around! We scoured all of Canterlot! "

"Dumb luck, I suppose. " Fancy shrugged, making Luna groan in return "I mean, look at him. " he pointed towards Orion with his hoof "He has trouble standing on his hooves as if he was a little foal, his wings look like they were used for housekeeping and he doesn't know how to use magic. "

"He was scared. " Celestia added just in time as a doctor levitated a nasty looking, but completely harmless, feather fixing tool.

"Exactly. All the reactions he got from other ponies were screaming, fleeing or fainting. Not good signs when you are scared, disoriented and as far as you know the only of your kind. "

"But he's not the only one. " Luna added, taking a step closer towards the glass "The only male perhaps, but still. "

"Orion doesn't, or at least, didn't know that until mere moments ago. " Fancy walked up to Luna's side "Orion needs time to heal his body and mind. Perhaps then we will know more. "

"You are right Fancy Pants. " Celestia walked up as well "I must say, had it been any other noble that walked up to us and presented a male alicorn I would be far more suspicious. " she then smiled at the shorter unicorn "But you and your wife are the kindest and most generous ponies this city has to offer. "

"You are too kind your highness. " Fancy bowed in respect and smiled as well.

"Why does he have that old rag around his neck? " Luna asked just as a nurse took it off of Orion, the stallion instantly covering himself with his hooves like he was embarrassed "Is it some sort of badge of office where he's from? "

"Orion said it was gift from a friend. " Fancy clarified.

"So there's somepony out there that knows him? " Celestia asked with a raised brow "Perhaps they could shed some light on the situation. "

"I don't think that is the case, your majesty. " Fancy cleared his throat before continuing "This friend, I believe Nibbler was his name, found him after the accident and helped Orion get back on his hooves, as it were. I believe it was somepony from Ponyville. " Celestia hummed in thought before speaking.

"Guards. " she called and two of them appeared in an instant.

"Yes, your majesty? " both bowed and asked in unison.

"Send word to Ponyville. Find a pony named Nibbler and escort him here. " Celestia declared and the guards saluted.

"Do we have anything else besides the name? " one asked and Celestia looked to Fancy, the unicorn shaking his head no.

"Unfortunately no. This mission if of the utmost importance. " Celestia said sternly "Find Nibbler and ask him to come here. Tell him Orion Pax is looking for him. " the two guards saluted and dashed out of the medical wing. "

"What is he doing? " Luna's question caused both Celestia and Fancy to look at Orion again. His right ear was twitching around, a gesture signalizing something was itching. He used his right hindleg to scratch the annoying itch furiously. Orion miscalculated one last movement and managed to hit himself square across the muzzle and knock himself off the stretcher. The staff rushed to his aid but Orion got up quickly, and sloppily, before climbing back on the stretcher, whistling innocently and acting like nothing ever happened. All three stood there speechless, and somewhat amused at what just transpired. They were snapped back to reality when a dark red unicorn mare with a short black mane exited the examination room.

"Doctor Syringe, what news do you bring? " Luna spoke first and the doctor sighed deeply.

"I don't know what to tell you. " said doctor floated up a bunch of test results "We ran every test known to ponykind and compared the results to everything we have on alicorn physiology. "

"And? " Celestia asked while looking over the test results herself.

"He's the real deal. " the doctor sighed "Apart from being a stallion, Sir Orion Pax is one hundred percent alicorn. And I'm not talking ascended, I'm saying he was born one. " you could hear a pin drop in the silnce that followed "And there's something else. " the doctor pulled up a parchment, presented it to the three ponies in attendance and all three recoiled slightly.

"Are those what I think they are? " Fancy Pants asked while examining the image on the parchment.

"Canines. " the doctor stated snd began pointing at the image with her hoof " And incisors. " 

"He's a carnivore? " Luna looked at Orion who smiled back awkwardly and waved. It was now that she truly saw them. He really did have canines though they were not as long as bat pony fangs.

"Omnivore. " the doctor corrected and pointed back to the picture"You can see the molars here, situated further back. " she then looked to Celestia "I was hoping you could shed some light on that, princess Celestia. "

"I... I'm afraid I can't. " the Solar princess answered, her eyes fixed on Orion "We have never met a male of our species. For all we know they could very well be omnivores. "

"I thought as much. Well, teeth aside, Orion is as alicorn as they come. " the doctor chuckled lightly "To think that after so many fakes trying to take your hoof in marriage a real one would actually appear. " the doctor then looked at Fancy Pants "Good thing it was you who found him. I dread to think what the other nobles would have done with him. " the white unicorn smiled at the doctor in appreciation "And now to his injuries. " the doctor coughed and started listing off "Generally speaking, Orion is in good health considering how he has been living lately. We will immobilize his wings so further damage can be prevented. "

"Further damage? " Celestia asked in concern.

"Sprains, pulled muscles, broken feathers. " Celestia winced at each one "I could go on, but that's the gist of it. " the doctor looked at Orion who was in the process of getting his wings wrapped up "That stallion has a high pain treshold. I've seen guards cry like little fillies when they sprained a wing joint. "

"But how did he get hurt? Orion told me he didn't know how to fly. " Fancy said with a confused look.

"That brings me to the next point: brain damage. " doctor Syringe sighed and looked at Orion "Our scans show nothing out of the ordinary, but the mind is a complicated thing. His memory is all fuzzy and jumbled. Orion remembers some things, others are mixed together and some just don't make any sense. Whatever injury he suffered must've been severe and there's nothing we can do but wait it out. " she glacned over to Luna from the corner of her eye "And I really hope you're not trying to force yourself inside his mind, princess Luna, lest you want to turn my patient into a vegetable. " the horn of the Lunar princess stopped glowing and she huffed in response "As I was saying, a flying accident could be the cause of his memory loss. Or perhaps scramble is the better word. In any case, Orion should get plenty of rest and occupate a stress free environment. "

"Orion said he hit a tree made of crystal. " Fancy Pants hummed in thought "I imagine it was quite an impact. "

"Yes, I suppose hitting the Tree of Harmony head-first would be quite painful. " Celestia chuckled and received a confused look from Fancy and Syringe "That is the only crystal tree I know of. And I highly doubt the accident happened in the Crystal Empire. He could not survive such a trip in his current state. "

"Do you think the Tree has something to do with his condition, Tia? " Luna asked and watched Orion trying to pull his red bandana over his head only to have the cloth stuck on his horn and obscure his vision.

"Perhaps, perhaps not. " Celestia winced when Orion, in his vision deprived state, hit an IV stand with his muzzle and knocked it over. Shaking his head furiously, he finally got the raggedy garment where he wanted it to be.

"So, what now princesses? " Fancy asked and used his magic to open the door since he saw Orion was slowly nearing it "We can't just let him back into the streets. Alicorn or not, nopony should live like that."

"I agree. " Celestia nodded "We shall talk further over some lunch. " Orion finally walked through the door, his head low as always "I am sure our guest is eager for a proper meal. " Orion looked up and was met with a gentle smile from the princess.

"Well, I guess I could go for some-"

"Meat? " Luna interjected with a frown, her head now as low as Orion's so they were eye-level.

"Luna! " Celestia scolded her younger sister whose gaze didn't falter.

"Actually, yeah. " Orion replied casually and received a few blinks from Luna "Haven't eaten meat since I got here. I'm so hungry I could eat a hoooo-whole piece! A whole piece of yummy meat! " Orion finished awkwardly and retreated a few steps back from the now scowling Lunar princess.

"Why do you keep your head low? As an alicorn you should walk tall and proud! " Luna straightened up and puffed out her chest for emphasis.

"Umm, so I can keep track of my feet? " Orion said sheepishly "I keep tripping over them. "

"Feet? " Luna looked over to the doctor.

"He means hooves. " the doctor shrugged "Brain damage. "

"Yes, hooves, right. " Orion nodded and slowly walked towards the exit "Sooo, what was that about lunch? " as soon as Fancy used his magic to help Orion with the complicated task of opening the door, they were assaulted by numerous flashes and a bombardment of questions.

"THERE HE IS!!"

"WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"

"WHERE DID YOU COME FROM? "

"IS HE OUR NEW KING?"

"WHERE'S HIS CUTIE MARK?"

"WHY ARE BAGS OF HAY'S CHIPS NINETY PERCENT AIR?"

As soon as all that started happening, Orion fell on his rump and backpaddled inside but the journalists were persistent.

"IS IT TRUE YOU'RE THE ONLY MALE OF YOUR SPECIES?"

"WILL YOU BE EXPANDING YOUR RACE?

"ARE THERE MORE OF YOU?"

"DO YOU PREFFER ROUND OR SLIM RUMPS? I'M ASKING FOR A FRIEND!"

"ENOUGH! " it was Luna who used the Royal Canterlot voice and got the crowd to stip their assault. And death glare she sent towards them also helped "Leave. Now. " nopony had to be told twice and they galloped out of the castle with amazing speed "I shall have a talk with the guards about this incident. " she said menacingly and slowly turned around "And with the daily papers... as... well..." her glare softened upon seeing Orion backed up into a wall and breathing rapidly, his eyes darting around in panic and his gray coat a shade paler. Fancy was by his side trying to calm him down while Syringe was making sure Orion wasn't having a heart attack.

"Orion needs our help. " Celestia walked up to Luna "It is as Fancy Pants said. Nopony deserves to live out on the streets. "

"You're not suggesting he stays here? In the castle? " Luna asked with an incredulous look "Though I don't care for the gossip this little stunt will spread, his stay will only lead to further complications. "

"Doctor Syringe said he needs a stress free environment. " Celestia looked over towards Orion who managed to calm down "I believe we can offer that here."

"What about Fancy Pants?" Luna pointed to the unicorn who was currently helping Orion back on his hooves "I think Orion would be much happier staying with a friend."

"If he so wishes. "

"Most excellent! " Luna then walked up to Fancy Pants "Sir Fancy, would it be much to ask of you to accomodate Orion in your home?"

"Actually, yes."

"Splendid! I shall-wait, what?" Luna reared back in surprise.

"Your Highness." Fancy sighed "With all due respect, while I would love to help Orion recover, I simply cannot guarantee that my house won't be run down by papparazi in search of a story. "

"And Orion needs proper rest. " doctor Syringe joined in "This blunder aside, the castle is now the best place for him. At least until he can walk properly and learn some basic magic." she summoned a lollipop from a desk and handed it to Orion who smiled in appreciation and stuffed it in his mouth.

"W-well... We could-" Luna was interrupted by her sister.

"Lulu, why are you so against this?" Celestia asked calmly "Is it because of-"

"Exactly." Luna gritted her teeth before shoving her muzzle into Orion's, her glare drilling holes into his skull "Alicorn or not, I will not have thee defile my sister and I! Do you understand me? " she pressed her muzzle even further to Orion, the gray alicorn turning an interesting shade of blue.

"Um, Lulu?" Celestia's tone sounded very concerned.

"Yes, dear sister?" Luna answered with a low hiss.

"He's choking on his lollipop." Luna retreated and sure enough, Orion began thumping on his chest furiously and finally spit out the lollipop, gasping for air as color returned to his face.

"I... Apologize." Luna said shortly before looking at her sister "I shall be in my chambers and will see you for breakfast. " and with a flash, Luna teleported away.

"I'd like the same please. " Orion raised his hoof like he was in school. Celestia smiled at this timid gesture and nodded.

"You have earned it after today. Come tomorrow, we shall speak in further detail about your arrival. " Celestia's horn glowed brightly and Orion, Fancy, Syringe and herself were teleported to a guest room "This is where you will be staying for the time being. I hope it will-"

"BUCKET!" Celestia flinched at the sound of Fancy's voice and shivered when she heard Orion empty his stomach into an ancient vase. Celestia couldn't care less about the vase but she did feel bad about not thinking that teleportation wasn't such a good idea, given Orion's condition.

"What was that about defiling you and your sister? " Celestia turned around slowly to the sound of Orion's raspy voice, his eyes were a little red but the scowl gave away his current emotional state. Orion was royally pissed. Seeing as she at least owed him an explanation for her sisters actions, Celestia looked down in shame and twirled her right hoof around.

"Well, Orion, when Luna and I were little fillies, our mother created this law..."
> 3 - One hoof at a time
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Let's see if I got this right." Orion said while hugging his puking vase like a teddy "Your mother made a law."

"About a thousand years ago, before we came to rule, yes." Celestia nodded.

"Which says only an alicorn can marry you or Luna and worst of all, you can't say no to a official proposal."

"Many believe it's stallion only but it's not exactly specified. And being unable to say no was forcefully added in by the nobility during one of our hardest times, lest we risk Equestria falling back into tribes."

"Right." Orion nodded before continuing."So, she feared someon-pony, somepony, would take advantage of their newly gained position if they married you."

"It was the founding of Equestria and ambitions, along with greed, were high." Celestia explained.

"And so she just casually slipped that little law into the founding documents of Equestria."

"Right between Pest control and Waste management." Celestia said with a deadpan look "A little insulting, but ultimately succesful."

"Clever girl." Orion muttered to himself.

"She was, yes." Celestia confirmed with a small smile and that's all Orion needed to know "Nopony bothered much with it since they thought it was for appearances only, having two alicorns as rulers."

"What they didn't know was that only fem-mares, dammit, could become alicorns, birth or ascend."

"My mother, sister and I were the only natural born alicorns." she said proudly "It was a known fact that you could ascend to alicorn status so everypony thought they would ascend at some point. But mother knew better."

"And now all of you think I came here to marry you and become king?" Orion got a nod in response "Hmm..." he stared hard into his vase, deep in thought.

"Orion?" Fancy asked, trying very hard not to vomit from the smell coming from the vase."What's the matter?"

"Well, I'm thinking how laughing in the face of an immortal ruler is not the best idea."his answer got Orion confused looks from Celestia and Fancy."I mean, you realize how ridiculous this sounds, right?"

"I assure you, the laws of Equestria are no laughing matter."Celestia said with a serious look.

"Well yeah, but this whole situation?"Orion spread his front legs wide."Just because I'm a guy, everyone thinks I'm here to marry you."

"Are you?" Celestia asked with a stern look.

"No!"Orion shot back loudly."Trust me, marriage is the last thing on my mind right now. I thought I was the only aleecorn-"

"Alicorn." Celestia corrected.

"Alicorn, until Fancy brought me to meet you two."he pointed a hoof to Fancy."And now there's all this talk about marriage, becoming king, defiling you and whatnot."

"I apologize for my sisters behavior on the last one." Celestia said but Orion rolled his eyes."Luna is the more suspicious one between us and she was merely trying to protect us from another impostor."

"Yeah well, you have no reason to fear clumsy ol' me."Orion said before a thought struck him."Speaking of, what happens if a pony manages to trick you? Makeup has come pretty far these days."

"Ancient magic woven into the law will bring a terrible fate upon the impostor."Celestia said flatly."But ponies still try nontheless."

"I seem to recall some very convincing alicorns come to court."Fancy said thoughtfully."Was it Silver Tongue who thought painting on wings was a good idea?"

"Seriously?" Orion asked with a raised brow.

"I believe my favorite was Clean Bill with that paper tube horn."Celestia chuckled lightly.

"Wow. That's just lazy."Orion looked inside of his vase and decided it was time to let go of it."Look, think what you will but I'm telling you right now I have absolutely no intention of marrying you or Luna."

"Why? Is there something wrong with us?"Celestia asked in a challengeing tone.

"That's a trick question, right?" Orion asked with a raised brow and Celestia smirked in response.

"It would seem your higher brain functions are working properly."Orion rolled his eyes at that stab."Which brings me to the next topic. I'm willing to give you the benefit of doubt until your mind is fully healed. So far your actions showed that you have no evil intentions, however, I have been deceived before." Celestia then gave him a stern look "Should you prove to be a danger to my little ponies I will send you to the moon."

"You can do that?"Orion received a short nod in response which made him gulp."I'll keep that in mind."

"Good."Celestia nodded aprovingly."Now, I believe you were promised some lunch?"

"Actually, I think I'll skip lunch for now."Orion looked at the vase."Vomit and all that."Celestia's and Fancy's nose scrunched up a little but said nothing."I'll just go to bed if that's okay."

"Very well. I will see that somepony comes to get you for dinner."Orion shook his hoof so-so."In the morning then."Celestia smiled and opened the door to Orion's room."Sir Fancy Pants, I thank you for bringing him here. I assure you we will do everything in our power to aid your friend's recovery."Fancy bowed to his princess before speaking.

"Thank you, Your Majesty."he then turned to Orion."Well my boy, I believe this is goodbye for now. Should you ever need anything, you know where to find me."

"Thanks Fancy. For everything."Orion raised his right hoof and after a curious look, Fancy smiled and bumped hooves with him.

"Don't mention it. You're in capable hooves here, Orion."Fancy looked to Celestia again."If anypony can help you, it would be princesses Celestia and Luna."

"Not so sure about the blue one."Orion muttered.

"Luna will come around eventually."Celestia said calmly."She's been gone a long time and it's difficult for her to... Accept new things, as it were."

"Until then, avoid in a wide radius. Got it."Orion saluted and Celestia rolled her eyes. The gray alicorn was not very comfortable around the Lunar princess and he wanted everypony to know it. Celestia stood before Orion and raised one hoof in the air, her face a hard mask of determination.

"Rest now, Orion Pax, for tomorrow, we will begin piecing together your memories."Celestia declared in a grandiose manner before giggling."Toodles!"and with that she was out the door, leaving Orion to stare after her in confusion.

"That was weird."Orion received a shrug from Fancy.

"I have heard that at times she can be a bit... Loopy, is the word."Fancy said thoughtfully."After ruling for thousands of years, I suppose one has to make their own entertainment from time to time."

"If I lived for a thousand years I'd become Sheogorath or something."Orion said with a snort but then a thought hit him."Wait. I'm an alicorn..."he slowly turned his gaze towards Fancy who offered a sympathetic smile in return. Orion's ears drooped and paired with a horrified expression."Puta madre..."

"Is that an expression from your home?"Fancy asked with a tilted look.

"Sort of."Orion looked down and let the realization of being almost immortal sink in. But it will not sink in for a long, long time. Sensing his friends troubles, Fancy placed a forehoof on Orion's shoulder.

"Listen, I may not know much about alicorns but I know about friendship. And for as long as I live I will be your friend."Orion slowly lifted his gaze towards Fancy."if you want to talk about anything, anything at all, you know ehere to find me."this caused Orion to smile a little.

"Thanks Fancy. I'll keep that in mind."he then chuckled."then again, by the time I wobble over to your place I'll already forget what I wanted to talk about."

"You could always ask Princess Celestia to teleport you."

"But your walls look better in light blue than vomit green."both stallions shared a laugh before Fancy said his goodbyes and left Orion in his new room alone. The gray alicorn took in his surroundings before slumping to the floor in exhaustion.

"Why did this happen?"Orion let out a long breath."I mean, I could have died but still. Magical pony world? And an alicorn?"he then looks nowhere in particular."That's just lazy writing." he somehow rolled over on his back, the feat being easier now that his wings were bandaged to his body.

"Should I just tell them I'm not an alicorn? Maybe they could find me a way home. Or string me up by the balls. Who knows? Life is like a box of chocolates."he rolled over to his side and faced the balcony."But it's all so cutesy here. Rainbows and sunshine as far as the eye can see. If I could choose, I'd go to Skyrim."he then cracked a smile."To my vampire waifu."and then he was back on his belly."I'd probably die at the chopping block though."this statement soured his mood again so he decided to get some fresh air on the balcony.

It took some effort but he finally managed to get on the balcony and took a peek at Canterlot through the stone railings. The city was bustling with activity and he even saw Fancy Pants leaving the castle. He wanted to call out to him but decided against it so he doesn't draw unnecessary attention to himself. Surveying the city further he even saw ponies singing and dancing in perfect sync, something he witnessed a couple times before. And as he stood there watching, he felt a feeling arise deep from his heart. An unexplainable desire that needed to be satisfied lest he burst to pieces.

"I need booze."



Luna sat in the Royal garden, enjoying the silence of her night and reflecting on todays events. A true alicorn stallion has appeared before her and Celestia, after all the fakes that came before. Should Orion make an official proposal they would have no choice but to accept and that did not sit well with the princess. She could hire somepony to, umm, khm, make him un-alive, but that was beneath her. Luna could very well do that herself.

"Castration."that was apparently the best course of action. Orion would be king but he wouldn't be able to hump the royal rump. Luna nodded in satisfaction as the notion pleased her greatly. Spreading her wings and getting ready for a quick, relaxing flight around Canterlot she heard noise coming from the castle entrance behind her. Turning her head towards the noise, Luna's expression quickly turned sour once she saw Orion coming down the last few of the stone stairs, stepping on them like each one could be his last. Orion's eyes caught her's and he froze in place.

"What art thou doing here so late? Tis' almost midnight."Orion's eyes went wide once he heard what time it was.

"Almost midnight?"he almost yelled and this took Luna by surprise."You mean to tell me I've been going down the stairs for the past three hours?"Luna didn't even try to hold back her laughter and almost fell over.

"That is the funniest and most pathetic thing We hve seen in our life!"Orion glared at the dark blue alicorn before speaking.

"Careful Luna, or I just might ask you to marry me."Luna's eyes shrank to pricks before she cast a deadly gaze towards Orion.

"Do not even joke about that, you fil-"

"Then shut the fuck up and show me the way out of here."Orion growled while succesfully besting the last stair. His words took Luna by surprise.

"Out? Out where?"

"Out of the castle! Canterlot! Anywhere!"

"But... Why?" Luna was now carefully approaching Orion.

"Because this is a daring escape, that's why!"Orion shot back and just chose a random direction and began walking."I wouldn't even be here if you ponies had some decent booze."

"You mean alcohol?"Luna was now right beside Orion and for some unknown reason, to her at least, kept Orion steady with her magic."Thine room has the finest selection of cider from all over Equestria."

"Yeah well, it didn't do jack for me. Hang on, that's a lie. I just had to pee a lot. Sorry about the mess."

"How vulgar."Luna said while her nose scrunched.

"How prissy."Orion deadpanned and before Luna could counter he continued."Not only that, who the hell makes such a large castle without an elevator? It's a wonder I didn't trip and tumbled down."

"T'would have saved thee a lot of time."Luna smirked and Orion snorted.

"Funny but also true."

"Why dost thou want to leave?"Luna asked as they walked through the gardens in no particular direction.

"Because I don't belong here."Orion sighed."And all this talk about marriage and becoming king is just crazy. I don't want to marry you or your sister."Luna raised a brow and looked down to Orion.

"And pray tell, why?"Orion caught the challenging tone in her voice and decided to bite. Taking a look back towards Luna's rump he smirked.

"My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hun."Luna's jaw fell open and Orion huffed victoriously before wobbling away. Luna shook her head and quickly followed Orion."You still didn't apologize for almost choking me."

"We are still considering it."Orion rolled his eyes and continued forward. After a few more wobbly steps, Luna couldn't watch the sorry excuse of an alicorn any longer and jumped in front of him.

"Move."

"Nay! We cannot watch this any longer!"she stomped her hoof hard on the ground."Whatever your motives may be, thou art an alicorn and should behave as such!"she trotted around him gracefully."Stand tall and pround with thine head held high!"

"Calm down, Vegeta."

"Here!"she took Orion with her magic and put him in the proper posture, elicting a surprise yelp from Orion."We shall teach you to walk properly so thine next daring escape may go better."

"Can't you just teleport me out of town?"Orion asked as Luna stood next to him, her stance mirroring his.

"As much as it would please us to have you out of our mane, Tia would not approve."Orion was somewhat grateful that at least one Celestia showed some interest in trying to help."Thus, we shall teach you the sacred art of walking so that thee may escape while we just so happen to look the other way."she gave Orion a knowing look and the gray alicorn smirked.

"Make yourself look good while also getting rid of an annoyance. How princessy."Orion managed to take a few steps before falling flat on his snout.

"How coltish."Luna raised him back up with magic, took a deep breath and slowly made the first step forward."One hoof at a time."
> 4 - Dem' good beans
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Celestia's Sun rose above the horizon, it was time for the citizens of Equestria to begin their daily lives. Shops are being opened, colts and fillies are going to school and the birds are happily chirping in the trees. However, for the staff of Canterlot castle had to be awake before sunrise so that they could tend to their duties as soon as the day began.

One such staff member was Honey Comb, a cream colored earth pony mare with a brown mane. Last night when duties were being assigned, Princess Celestia hoofpicked her to be Orion's personal maid! A true alicorn stallion was staying in the castle and she was going to be his personal maid. How great was that? She heard from the other maids he was quite the looker too.

"Of course he is. He's an alicorn!" Honey said giggling to herself while trotting happily towards Orion's room. The days of tending to the obnoxious Blueblood were finally up! "Better not mess this up. " she said with determination as she reached her destination. Taking a deep breath she readied herself and knocked on the door. "Good morning, Prince Orion! My name is Honey Comb and I will be your personal maid for the remainder of your stay!" she got silence in response. Clearing her throat, Honey knocked once again. "Excuse me, Prince Orion! It is morning and I must ask you to join Princess Celestia and Princess Luna for breakfast!" again, nothing. "I'm coming in." She swung the door open and was met with a peculiar sight.

Sure enough, there was Orion, sleeping on the bed but in a pose nopony slept in. He was on his back, legs half bent and grasping on air. His tongue hung lazily from his muzzle as he snored lightly. It made him look like a dog that was having a nice dream by the way his legs were twitching. As Honey Comb observed the sleeping stallion and her gaze traveled along his sleeping form, she couldn't help but see-

"Oh..." Honey turned away with a hard blush. She expertly, without looking, pulled back the cover over his exposed stallionhood before clearing her throat. "Good morning!"

"GAAAH!" Orion screamed before graciously landing on the floor. "What? Where's the fire?" he looked around in panic before his eyes landed on Honey Comb. "Who the heck are you?" the maid flinched a little at his tone and choice of words but remained calm.

"My name is Honey Comb and I have been assigned by Princess Celestia to be your personal maid." she stated proudly as Orion eyed her suspiciously. "It is a great honor to be in your service, Prince Orion Pax."

"A babysitter. Great." Orion rolled his eyes and got up on his hooves.

"Wha- No! I am not your foalsitter!" She stomped her hoof in protest. "As a maid, my job is to make sure you have everything you need and make your stay as pleasant as possible, Prince Orion."

"I don't need a maid." Orion rolled his eyes and went about to put on his red scarf/table cloth thingy.

"Princess Celestia said you might say that, but unfortunately her orders go above yours, Prince Orion."

"Would you stop with the prince thing? I'm not a prince." Orion said with a little annoyance and it left Honey Comb dumbfounded.

"But you are an alicorn!"

"So?"

"That makes you a prince!" 

"How and why?" Orion stood before Honey Comb, actually interested to hear why she thought that, but the height difference and his imposing stature made the maide a tad skittish.

"W-well... You see..." now that she thought about it, did it really?

"See? I'm not a prince so stop calling me one. Orion will do just fine." he smiled at the mare and she visibly relaxed. What caught him off-guard was when she smiled mischeviously.

"Well, Orion, since you're not a prince then, that means Princess Celestia's order is absolute." the look of surprise on the stallions face was priceless.

"Clever girl." Honey smiled widely in response and Orion chuckled. "Fine, you're my maid. Now what?" Honey stood straight and proud of her achievment.

"You are to join their royal highness's for breakfast."

"Hope I make it there before lunch." he patted Honey on the shoulder before walking past her. "Lead the way."

"Um, yes!" she trotted up beside him and motioned for him to folllow. "This way, down the stairs." she casually went down but the lack of hoof sounds behind her caused her to stop and turn around. "Is everything alright?"

"I hate stairs." Orion took a careful step forward "One hoof at a time..." watching him slowly but surely descend the stairs, Honey Comb remembered the briefing Princess Celestia gave them. Orion suffered a harsh head injury and he was basically re-learning everything, even walking. Honey quickly got back to his side and made sure that if Orion tripped, she would be there to catch him.

"So, a maid?" Orion asked trying to keep his tone casual but he was still betrayed by a certain edge it had. "What made you pick up the feather duster?"

"My family has been part of the castle staff for generations." Honey replied proudly and almost had a heart attack when one of Orion's hoof slipped on the edge of a stair. Luckily, he managed to prevent himself from tumbling down and acted like nothing happened.

"And you felt it natural to continue the tradition." Orion stated and Honey frowned.

"You make it sound like a bad thing." she then held her head high. "I'll have you know that serving the royal sisters is a great honor and privilege! Making sure our delightful rulers have their sheets changed and meals made by professionals, in a timely manner, gives them more time to properly lead our country!"

"Last I heard you can't lead a country if you make your own breakfast." Orion replied sarcastically.

"Yes, well, the pay's not bad either." Honey replied sheepishly and Orion smirked briefly. "You sound like you don't like royalty."

"I have different views on resource management." Orion replied and heroically braved the last step. "But that's just personal opinion."

"Then how do you rule your country?" Honey asked, making Orion roll his eyes.

"I'm not a ruler."

"As far as you can remember." Hone smiled brightly and made her way to the dining room.

"Oh I remember pretty well..." Orion mumbled to himself.

"What was that?" Honey asked while turning around.

"I said what's that smell?" Honey was sure she heard something completely different but decided to go along with it.

"Why, breakfast of course!" she said in a cheery tone and trotted towards a great wooden door. Not as big as the throne room's one but if he had to guess, it was about two heights of him. Honey opened the door and went inside, closely followed by Orion. He noticed a common theme in the castle. Very high ceilings.

"Must be a pain to clean all this." Orion mused while taking in the grand scale of a simple dining room as Honey excused herself and left to her other duties.

"That is why we have magic, mister Orion." came the voice of Celestia from the head of the table and Orion noticed the distinct lack of blue needs-anger-management pony. "Good morning. I hope you have slept well."

"Mornin'." the present guards and maids were a little taken aback by his casual tone but since Celestia said nothing, neither did they. "It was fine I guess. Had a little meeting with your sister."

"Oh, did she come into your dreams? I specifically told her not to!" Celestia scrunched her brows in disapproval.

"Luna can do that?" Orion asked while sitting down on a pillow to Celestia's left.

"She is the guardian of dreams after all." Celestia responded kindly and Orion blinked in disbelief.

"Oooookay... Ignoring that terrifying bit of info, what's for breakfast?" Orion looked over the table and found an assortment of toast, jams, fruits, cereals and basically anything that would make for a nutritious breakfast. Except bacon...

"Coffee." both heads turned to the door and there stood Luna, her mane disheveled and bags under her eyes.

"Good morning, dear sister." Celestia greeted her but Luna just mumbled something before sitting on Celestia's right and plopped down muzzle-first onto the table. "How was the night?" Celestia was met with another round of mumbling.

"Who pooped in your cereal this morning?" Orion asked with a raised brow getting a chuckle out of Celestia and an annoyed grumble from Luna.

"She's like that before she has her morning coffee." Celestia clarified and took a sip of her tea. Orion looked between the tea cup and Luna for a while before speaking.

"Can I have some coffee?" Celestia stopped mid-sip and Luna's ears perked up.

"You want coffee?" Celestia asked and Orion nodded.

"Mmmmhm. Hadn't had any for a while." he replied casually and, using skills he learned last night, expertly grabbed a piece of toast with his right forehoof. A simple look from Celestia to a nearby maid told the unicorn mare everything she needed to know and she rushed off to the kitchen. "Sooo what do we do after?"

"Well, I thought I would give you a tour of the castle to minimize the risk of you getting lost."

"That's actually a good idea. This thing's like a maze." Celestia chuckled and remembered her early days here. It was indeed easy to get lost here.

"Also, you will be glad to know that I sent word to Ponyville to find the pony who helped you."

"Pony?" Orion asked in confusion.

"Why Nibbler of course."

"Oh..." Orion said before shaking his head. "You won't find him."

"I have much confidence in my guards." Celestia replied.

"I'm sure you do but you sent them looking for a pony." Celestia tilted her head in confusion. "He's a squirrel."

"Oh! I just assumed he was a pony. How silly of me." she looked to a guard who nodded in response and dashed off to inform the search party. "And just out of curiosity, a squirell?"

"Well, you see-"

"AUNTIE CELESTIA!" the annoying screech that came from the hallway made Orion's ears slap down on his head and in walked a unicorn stallion with a white coat and blonde mane and what appeared to be just the top of a tuxedo. As soon as the stallions eyes landed on Orion, the alicorn felt violated. "Oh my word!" the stallion rushed towards him. "It is a great honor to meet you, Prince Orion!"

"I'm not-"

"My name is Prince Blueblood!" Orion's hoof was taken from him in a vigorous shake.

"Nice to-"

"When I heard stories about a new alicorn, and a stallion no less, I merely chalked it up to pleb gossip!"

"Pleb-"

"But here you are! Oh and might I say how magnificent you look this morning under my dear auntie's bright Sun!"

"Auntie Ce-"

"Your choice of attire is a bit concerning but I suppose that's how royalty dresses in the far away land of Terra!"

"It's not-"

"Oh but where are my manners?"

"Nowhere."

"I shall let you enjoy breakfast to the fullest and then I shall give you a grand tour of the castle and explain who's who in Canterlot!"

"Actually-"

"No need to be modest! You are royalty and therefore should act like it!"

"But I-"

"Would like to finish breakfast? Yes, I understand and I shall bother you no longer. I'm taking my leave, Prince Orion." Blueblood nodded curtly to a dumbfounded Orion. "Auntie Celestia." he smiled sickeningly sweet to the white alicorn who smiled in return. "Aunite Luna." his tone changed completely and was cold as ice.

"Freeloader." came to reply from the midnight alicorn and Orion snorted in amusement. Blueblood's eyes narrowed towards Luna but he said nothing more before trotting out. Orion noticed the staff breathing a sigh of relief.

"Well, that was our nephew, Prince Blueblood." Celestia clarified as Orion remained staring at the door.

"I have the strangest urge to neuter him." Orion mused and just then the coffee arrived. One cup was placed before Orion and one in front of Luna.

"Ha! A sentiment we share!" Luna's head shot up from the table and she downed her coffee in an instant. The maid was prepared for it and immediately refilled the cup.

"For the life of me, I simply cannot understand how you can drink that vile concoction." Celestia said with a scrunched muzzle.

"As I do not understand your infinite need for cake." Luna replied nonchalantly. "Dare I say, did you get a bigger pillow, oh sister of mine?" Celestia's cheeks turned red.

"It's the same one! It's just worn with use!"

"Widened, you mean." Celestia puffed her cheeks and huffed.

"It's the drink of the gods, princess Celestia." Orion said with a smug smirk and emptied the contents of his small cup. But then he stopped as his eyes widened in complete horror and he promptly spat out the drink.

"Drink of the gods you say?" Celestia asked smugly while Orion was gagging.

"What the hell is this?" Orion looked at the maid who was waiting to refill another cup for Luna should the need arise.

"Umm, coffee, your highness?" she replied rather uncertainly.

"It's dog piss it's what it is!" Orion jumped to his hooves and the entire room was taken aback by his behavior. "To the kitchen! Now!" the unicorn mare shrunk a little under Orion's size and nodded timidly.

"R-r-right this way, your highness!" Celestia was about to protest when Luna shoved her hoof into her muzzle.

"Let us see where this goes." Celestia's brows scrunched up in confusion but she went along with her sister's request. Following after Orion and the maid, Luna was impressed by the stallions improving walking skills. Not long after the reached the kitchen and Orion looked at the maid.

"Who made that abomination you call coffee?"

"H-h-he did, your highness!" the mare quickly pointed to the chef responsible and Orion marched over.

"Who dares to come into my kitchen and-!" the head chef immediately paled when he saw Orion towering over him.

"Coffee. Now." Orion all but snarled at the head chef who immediately jumped to work with Orion following his every move.

"Was there something wrong with the coffee today?" Celestia didn't like the stuff so she had to ask Luna if it was more vile today than ever before.

"Good as always I suppose." Luna shrugged and observed Orion watching over the chef like a hawk.

First, the chef put some water on the stove, in a kettle of course, so far so good. Then he took some beans and let Orion take a whiff and give his approval. Those were the best smelling coffee beans Orion's ever had the pleasure of smelling. The alicorn nodded firmly and the chef breathed a sigh of relief. Getting back to the stove, Orion noticed the water was already boiling and simply wrote it off to magic. That's when it happened. The chef just dumped a hoof-full of beans into the boiling water and that was that. He looked at Orion for approval but paled in horror when he saw the alicorn's eye twitching.

"What did you do?" Orion asked menacingly.

"C-coffee, sire! I-"

"That's not how coffee is made!" Orion roared and the staff flinched.

"W-well, it's a new drink and we're still figuring out-" Orion took the kettle and promptly threw it across the kitchen into the sink.

"Are you trying to poison us?"

"No! Of course not! I-"

"POT! WATER!" the chef wasted no time and poured water into a new, clean pot and waited for new instructions. " TWO TEASPOON OF SUGAR!" Orion roared in his best drill seargent voice and and the chef did as told. "ON THE STOVE WITH IT!" the chef placed the pot on the flames and stood to attention. "GRIND THE BEANS INTO POWDER! HURRY UP!" a small grinder was presented and the chef hastily ground the surprisingly already roasted beans into powder. Just as the first bubble rose up Orion continued. "TAKE IT OFF!" not daring to question the instructions, he did as told. "POUR HALF INTO A CUP!" a cup floated towards the chef and half the water was out. "THREE TEASPOONS COFFEE INTO THE POT!" two teaspoons it was. "STIR IT!"

"How long?"

"UNTIL YOUR HOOF FALLS OF IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES!" the chef quickly went to work and after Orion was satisfied he continued. "Put it back on the stove." his tone surprisingly softened, probably because he relaized he was going Ramsay on the poor chef. As the coffe began boiling and reached the edge of the pot, Orion instructed to remove it once again and pour the water from the cup back into the pot. After that it was back on the stove and once it boiled once again it was done. The chef poured three cups as instructed and one was given to Luna and Celestia while the third was for Orion. "You can add a little milk if you want." Orion then finally tasted coffee as it was meant to be.

While all of that was going on the rest of the staff was secretly following his instructions and made this new coffee for everypony working in the kitchen. And as all were drinking this new breed of coffee with blisfull expressions, Luna and Celestia decided to give it a go. On first sip Celestia could tell this was the right way to prepare coffee and it tasted infinitely better than what her chefs were doing until now. She dared even say it tasted phenomenal.

"While this does taste delightful, I still preffer tea." Celestia said kindly and Orion shrugged in a fair-enough manner. "What do you think sister?" she got no response and looked to her sister whose eyes were wide open and had her cup empty of even a trace of coffee. "Sister?" Luna slowly looked to Celestia with a thousand yard stare.

"He can stay."
> 5 - Lemon tree
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, the coffee was a success. After everypony got a taste of the real deal, Orion quietly snuck out of the kitchen and decided to wander about seeing as he's got nothing better to do.

"And so our hero enters the maze." he spoke with a fake british accent. "His only goal to find an exit to this accursed place." Orion took a random right turn, not really knowing where it will take him. "After bribing the occupants of the castle, Be-I mean, Orion, has made sure none would follow him on his brave endeavour."

"Unfortunately, all but one managed to resist his vile concoction." Orion's head almost snapped from how fast it turned back and saw Celestia with an amused smile. "Oh please, don't stop narrating on my account."

"Fuc-errrrr, I mean, curses!" yeah, some habbits needed to be controlled.

"Curses?" Celestia chuckled at the word. "I believe that word hasn't been used in cussing in over a thousand years."

"I'm pretty sure I heard your sister use it last night." Orion said with a raised brow and turned his head forward again. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Celestia wanted to say something but the mare stopped herself at the last moment. "So, where are we going?" Orion continued on his merry way with Celestia catching up to him so the two were side by side.

"You tell me, oh great hero." Celestia replied dramatically and Orion rolled his eyes. The gesture was followed by a giggle from Celestia before she graced him with an answer. "If we continue down this path we will reach the Royal gardens."

"Royal gardens?" Orion said with a raised brow.

"Well, that's what everypony calls it. I preffer to simply call it a garden." Celestia replied matter-o-factly and sniffed the air. "Ah! I can smell the canterberies already!" Celestia said with glee and picked up her pace. She was only a few feet; hooves?; away before noticing Orion falling behind.

"You go on ahead. Running lessons are tonight." Orion tried to shoo her away with his right forehoof but almost toppled over. "Balance will be extracurricular." Celestia smiled apologetically and trotted back to the gray alicorn.

"Nonsense." she reassured him with a gentle shoulder to shoulder bump. "I shall guide the hero to his destination." Orion  chuckled and continued forward.

"It would appear the hero managed to charm the vicious ruler of the castle." he continued with the fake accent.

"Vicious?" she said in mock hurt. "You flatter me." Orion looked at the mare and smiled. Maybe she wasn't so bad after all.

"Riiight..." he looked forward again and saw the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. "That it?" Celestia merely nodded and the two walked out into the open. It was truly a sight to behold with neatly trimmed hedges, bushes made into various shapes of ponies and variosu flowers as far as the eye can see.

"Well, what do you think?" Celestia asked with pride in her voice. The garden was a very special place to her and she took care of it meticulously. Orion observed his surroundings as they slowly walked through it. "I had these brought over from Saddle Arabia." Celestia stopped at a very strange looking yellow flower. Orion stiffled a laugh.

"Saddle Arabia?" he asked, trying not to choke.

"Why yes." Celestia either didn't notice his tone or simply decided to ignored it. She gently plucked one flower with her magic and brought it to her nose. "They smell divine." and then she ate it. Orion was less surprised by the act than he thought he'd be.

"Taste good too I bet?" he said while observing Celestia's delighted expression. The mare quickly realized wahat she was doing and quickly swallowed before looking a little embarrased.

"My apologies, that was rather rude. But yes, they are simply delectable." she levitated another flower and offered it to Orion. "Would you like to try?"

"I'll take your word for it." Orion then waited to see what Celestia would do and when she hadn't moved for a couple of seconds he smiled. "Go ahead." aaaaand it's gone. After she ate the second flower like it was the tastiest thing in the world, Celestia cleared her throat and once gain stood with pride and a huge smile.

"You still haven't told me what you think of my garden." Orion looked around and nodded a few times.

"It's... Nice." his response caused Celestia's ears do drop and her expression shifted to an unamused one.

"Nice? You're saying that a garden that stood the test of times for centuries, is nice?"

"Guess I'm not the flower type." Orion said while taking a few steps back, totally not scared he insulted an overpowered Sun princess. However, one of Celestia's ears rose while tilting her head to the side with a curious expression.

"Then what type are you Orion?" she asked gently and Orion chewed on his lower lip uncertainly.

"I'll let you know when I find out." he then turned around and continued walking through the garden and Celestia quickly followed suit. "I have a question."

"Ask away."

"Why does everypony think I'm some kind of prince or, or, royalty?" Celestia could sense a hint of annoyance in his tone.

"I would say it's because you're an alicorn."

"I keep hearing that but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, you see, only alicorns are royalty in Equestria and so ponies naturally assume you are one too." Celestia responded and Orion rolled his eyes. "Orion, being an alicorn comes with certain achievments and responisibilities. All alicorns were great rulers, and in the case of Twilight Sparkle, a hero."

"Twilight Sparkle?" Orion thought he heard wrong.

"Yes. She's my faithful student and has saved Equestria on multiple occasions." now Orion sensed a great deal of pride within Celestia. "What I'm trying to say is, whether you truly are a prince or not, or even a great hero, we won't know until your memory fully returns."

"That'll be a disappointing revelation." Celestia frowned.

"It's rude to mumble." Celestia chastised.

"Sorry." Orion smiled sheepishly. "Old habbit I guess." then he felt something soft on his back and saw that Celestia draped one of her wings over it.

"It's alright. I can only imagine what you're going through. Believe me when I say I will do everything in my power to help you." Celestia smiled reassuringly and Orion smiled back. After a short and quiet moment Celestia suddenly beamed. "I know! Why don't I help you remember how to use magic?" Orion's eyes almost popped out.

"Magic?"

"Yes! Magic is like second nature to alicorns! It's almost like walking." when Orion looked at her with a deadpan expression, Celestia chuckled nervously. "Umm, poor choice of words given your predicament."

"It's fine." Orion then got to thinking. "You know, knowing how to do magic would be pretty cool."

"And highly practical. There are just some things these hooves can't do." she lifted her left forehoof to emphasize her point.

"Like peel a banana?" he offered and Celestia tilted her head side to side in thought.

"Not the example I would use but yes." she then took a few steps back, inhaled deeply and continued. "It's been a while since I've taught somepony how to channel their magic. I hope you can forgive me if I'm a little rusty."

"I'm sure it'll-"

"First!" Celestia said loudly making Orion flinch.

"Okay, not so rusty."

"In order to use magic you first need to learn to channel it." she then began walking left to right, you know, like teachers do. "And to do that you need to find your source. Sit!" the fwomp sound his rump made when Orion abruptly sat down almost made him laugh. "Now close your eyes and clear your mind." Orion did as instructed and tried it. "Let your mind be empty of all thoughts. Make it serene as a calm lake at night." Orion tried harder and his closed eyes squinted more. "Then look deep within yourself-" deeper meant more squinting."-and find your center. " squint harder boy. "When you find it, you will feel a strong energy pulsating within you." Orion's face was getting redder and some veins were starting to pop out. "I want you to grab that energy and pull on it! Bring it out to the surface!" Orion felt like he was about to explode from all the concentrating he was doing. "Feel the magic and push it towards your horn! Do you feel it? Can you feel the magic?"

"I can feel a fart!" and with that Orion opened his eyes and exhaled deeply with color returning to his face. Celestia had to hold herself from laughing as nopony in all her years said something like that while she was teaching. "You make it sound so easy."

"It's because it is." Celestia used her wing to cool Orion down since he began sweating from all that squinting. And probably from holding in certain things... "Little colts and fillies usually do it on their first try."

"Defeated by children. Great..." Orion plopped down to the grass with a pout.

"Don't be discaouraged, Orion. All you need is a little spark and the rest will come easy." Celestia patted his head with her wing. "Now up you go!" she enveloped him in her magic and hoisted him up, elicting a startled yelp from the stallion. "Let's try this again." Orion wasn't sure about it but nodded notheless. "From the top then. First-"

"Your majesty! Excuse me! Princess Celestia!" both alicorns looked towards the incoming voice and saw a brown earth pony mare, wearing the top half of a business suit with two black saddle bags.Her mane pulled back into a bun and with big round glasses resting on her snout. 

"Ah, Serifa-"Orion, once again, tried not to laugh. "-what can I do for you?" it would seem the princess got a tad nervous when the smaller mare shot her an unamused look.

"For me, yourself and, most importantly, Equestria, you can attend the meeting with the griffin ambassador that was supposed to start ten minutes ago." Serifa said sternly.

"Oh." sudden realization struck the Sun princess but her assisstant wasn't finished.

"Then, you have an interview for Equestria Daily, a joint photoshoot for Cosmare and Vanity Mare-" Serifa continued to list things off, completely ignoring Orion's amused snort.

"Really?" Orion felt like he should get an award. All these names were too punny.

"Serifa insits my time is too precious for photoshoots so she usually arranges them to be at the same time." Celestia explained to Orion, even though that was not what he inquired about.

"-and we end the day by lowering the Sun." Orion looked at Serifa with a strange sense of awe.

"Did she even breathe through that?" Celestia giggled.

"Serifa is the best assistant I had in... Wait." something clicked in the alicorn's mind. "Serifa, what about lunch?"

"It's all taken care of." Serifa then reached into one of her bags and pulled out lunch contained in a clear plastic bag.

"And?" Celestia asked, waiting for Serifa to show her something else than raw celery. Serifa then put the celery back into her bag.

"That's it." Celestia reeled back in shock.

"T-that's it?" she stammered and looked to Orion in panic and then back to her assisstant. "That can't possibly be it."

"Your majesty, with all due respect, the tabloids say you're getting a little... Fluffy." Celestia's jaw dropped in shock. "And you have an image to maintain and I have wasted more time on this than needed. Equestria needs you Princess." Serifa then went around the still shocked Celestia.

"Fluffy?" Celestia barely registered that Serifa was pushing her.

"It's only for a couple of weeks, your majesty." the smaller mare was doing a pretty good job of moving the larger alicorn with brute force. Celestia then looked at Orion with the most powerful puppy eyes he'd ever seen.

"Fluffy?" she asked him and Orion had to use all of his willpower to not hug her and tell her everything will be okay. For like a second...

"Okay, bye!" oh what a fleeting feeling it was. Orion waved them goodbye with a smug smile as they disappeared behind the corner. And now alone in the garden he did the only sensible thing. He found a nice place under a certain fruit tree and simply plopped down on his belly with all four legs spread out. "Why does everyone make this clear mind thing seem so easy?" he blew a bit of stray mane from his face. "Yeah, Luke! Use the force, Luke! And the motherfucker lifts an X-wing from a lake!" Orion then shifted position to his side. "What am I even doing here? Well, it's not like I have a place to go." Orion sighed deeply. "I have food and shelter here so it's not all bad. Guess I'll stay a while." he closed his eyes. "See where it takes me..." and after a few minutes, Orion drifted off to blissful sleep.

But as luck would have it, his nap was cut short by a hoof poking him in the side.

"Orion." the voice sounded familiar but he couldn't care about it. Napping was nice. "Wake up."

"Mmmm... No..."

"WAKE UP!" Orion jumped to his hooves breathing rapidly and glared at whoever dared to wake him.

"Luna? What? What is it?" he asked harshly but the younger princess wasn't fazed in the slightest.

"I cannot sleep." Orion felt like bonking her on the head. Instead, he simply laid back down and turned away from the princess.

"You drank coffee. What'd you think would happen?" Luna trotted to the other side and poked him again.

"This never happened before!" Orion turned his head away again.

"Beacuse you were drinking boiled water." another poke. "Would you stop that?"

"Nay! I am filled with energy! And tis' your doing!" Orion sighed and got up on his hooves. Looking at the princess he had to admit it was kind of cute how she was pacing on the spot in her coffee induced high.

"Can't you just magic it away?"

"One must deal with the consequences of one's actions." Luna said sternly before her wings flapped involuntarily. "But of course! A quick flight around the castle will surely help!" and she dashed off, leaving Orion in a cloud of smoke. Coughing from the dust that rose up, Orion groaned and shook his head.

"Yeap, this place is crazy." he looked up and saw a blue blur circling the castle. "Deffinitely crazy." he began walking towards said castle in hopes of finding something to do. Good thing his stomach called. "If I remember correctly, the kitchen should be-

"IT DIDN'T HELP!"

"GAAH!" the jump scare caused Orion's wings to spring open, tearing off the bandages. "What is wrong with you?"

"I can't sleep! I sleep during the day and rule during the night! And I cannot rule the night if I do not sleep during the day! Why is it so hard to understand?" Orion groaned once again and his wings shuffled back to his side in the same natural position as Luna's.

"Because it's weird!" Orion continued towards the kitchen-

"Tis' not weird! We have functioned like that for millenia!" -followed by an hyperactive Luna.

"We? Who refers to them in third person?" Orion's wings flapped once again, but the two paid it no mind.

"Royalty does!" Luna shot back and smirked smugly. "And who, pray tell, narrates themselves?"

"And who, pray tell, says pray tell?"

"We'll have you know-"

"I mean seriously-"

And so their banter continued all the way to the kitchen, their tails swishing merrily behind them. Even as they raided the fridge for various treats and continued onwards through the castle, their voices echoing it's halls, one thing was clear to the castle staff.

Princess Luna made a friend.
> 6 - Sightseeing
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A new day was dawning as Celestia's Sun slowly appeared on the horizon. Many ponies were already getting on with their routines, namely waking up, getting ready and going to work. Everypony except Canterlot's nobility, that is. They liked to sleep in while their servants prepared their breakfast, fetched the morning papers and so on. However, Fancy Pants was not one of those nobles, quite the opposite actually.

Every morning he would wake up early, making sure his lovely wife Fleur wasn't disturbed, and went to the kitchen of their large, yet not nearly mansion-sized home. Fancy would set the table for breakfast before getting started on the pancakes and putting on water for tea in the kettle. As it was every morning, about halfway through the pancake dough, he heard a thud against his front door which meant the morning edition of Equestria Daily has arrived.

"I'll get it!" which also meant his wife was also awake and she would get the paper. Moments later, Fleur entered the kitchen and smiled contently. "Good morning, my dear." she nuzzled her husband who returned the gesture while flipping the pancake in the air and catching it in the pan.

"Good morning, my love." Fancy replied with a smile. "Ah, the water for tea is done. Would you mind?"

"Not at all." Fleur smiled and encased the kettle in her magic, bringing it over to the table. "Hmmmm... Jasmine?" Fleur looked to her husband who expertly flipped one more pancake mid-air.

"Please." he was done with the pancakes and floated the plate to the table and joined his wife who was in the middle of pouring water in their cups, followed by tea bags. He reached for the morning papers and saw the rolled up bundle was a bit thicker than usual. Removing the band holding it together, a copy of Equestria Daily and Vanity Mare unveiled themselves.

"I'll be taking that." Fleur quickly snatched Vanity Mare from Fancy's grip and the stallion chuckled. "What? Vanity Mare is much more reliable than Equestria Daily."

"It's full of gossip, Fleur. I simply cannot understand how you can read that nonsense." Fancy chuckled and raised his newspapers. "Equestria Daily, however... Is... A serious..." as he slowly read the headline his voice trailed off and Fleur tilted her head.

"Is something wrong, Fancy darling?" her husband blinked a few times before speaking.

"Uhm, yes, yes, quite alright my dear." Fancy then quickly folded the newspaper and threw it towards the thrash can but Fleur caught it before it hit it's target. She looked at her husband with a raised brow and he chuckled nervously. Unfurling the papers and after reading the headline, Fleur looked at her husband with a sly smirk.

"You were saying?" she laid the papers on the table, the front page visible to both.


EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH PRINCESS CELESTIA
THE PRINCESS SAYS NO WEDDING, BUT WHAT DOES THE LAW SAY?
"NOPONY IS FORCED OR BEING FORCED INTO ANYTHING." - PRINCESS CELESTIA


Then there were a smaller section.


WHO IS SIR ORION PAX, THE NEW MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR?

And also...

THE HAYS CHIPS CONSPIRACY
IS THE EMPTY SPACE REALLY USED TO PROTECT THE CHIPS OR IS SOMETHING MORE SINISTER AT HOOF?


"This whole thing has been blown way out of proportion." Fancy said and took a sip of his tea. Fleur nodded, already deeply engrossed in her copy of Vanity Mare.

"Poor Orion." Fleur replied and turned a page. "It says he is doing well, all things considering." Fancy nodded and took his first pancake, biting into it. "I'm sure the princesses are doing everything they can to help him get back on his hooves."

"If anypony can help him, it would be them."

"I just don't understand this talk about marriage. Does he really want to marry one of the princesses?" Fleur asked and Fancy just shook his head.

"Both Orion, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna made it perfectly clear that nopony would be getting married." he then sighed, thinking how Orion must feel. "The media just got to excited and made their own assumptions." Fleur nodded and the two resumed their breakfast in a comfortable silence. After finishing breakfast, the married couple got to cleaning the table and washing the dishes. Other nobles would simply scoff at the thought and reprimand Fancy and Fleur for not having a maid but the two believed it kept them closer to each other. The results spoke for themselves as Cosmare voted them the happiest couple five years in a row, mopping the floor with their competition.

Once the chores were done, Fancy and Fleur got ready for their daily walk through Canterlot and inspections of their fashion shops. 

"Darling, please do remind me to speak to Rarity." Fancy said to his wife as they made their way to the front door. "We simply must get her to work for us."

"Certainly! Her designs are simply-" Fancy opened the door for his wife "-Orion?"

"I would have used the word marvelous, but-" he then looked ahead and saw a familiar gray alicorn at his porch, right hoof ready to knock. "Orion?"

"Morning!" the alicorn greeted happily and used his already raised hoof to wave.

"Good morning to you as well, my dear boy!" Fancy then grabbed Orion's raised hoof and shook hooves.

"Hello again, Orion." Fleur bowed curtly.

"Aw, don't do that." Orion said a bit annoyed and as Fleur rose to meet his eyes, Orion had his hoof in front of her. "Friends don't bow to each other, right?" Fleur looked at his raised hoof and understood the intention. But could she really hoofbump an alicorn?

"Go on dear." Fancy nudged her and Fleur looked between Orion and her husband.

"Friends?" she asked her husband uncertainly. "With royalty? But I'd never-"

"Good thing I'm not royalty then." Orion interjected and Fleur looked back at him. "C'mon, don't leave me hanging here." he wiggled his hoof and Fleur, slowly and uncertainly, hoofbumped. This proved to be a good choice as Orion smiled widely and trotted in place. "Oh! Look at this!" Orion then rushed down from the porch and produly trotted from side to side. "I can walk!" he said with his head held high.

"Excellent my boy." Fancy said with a smile.

"Oh! And I can run too!" he then went into a full gallop. "WHOA!" Orion slipped on a patch of grass and skidded on it until he hit the wooden fence.

"Orion!" Fleur exclaimed and both she and Fancy rushed towards him in concern.

"I'm fine!" Orion said and quickly got back to his hooves. "Still need to work on stopping, he he."

"My word, Orion." Fancy shook his head chuckling. "Never a dull day with you."

"You've made quite some progress your High-I mean, Orion." Fleur quickly corrected herself and saw Orion's smile grow bigger. It also made her smile.

"I know, right? Guess I'm a prodigy."

"Whatever happened after I left?" Fancy asked and did a circle around Orion. He did indeed seem more confident and stable on his hooves.

"Well, I tried to escape-"

"What?" both Fleur and Fancy exclaimed in shock.

"-but I met Luna in the royal garden and she taught me how to walk properly."

"Oh." both responded.

"Then the next morning I got Luna high on coffee."

"You did what?" again, both of them asked in shock.

"And after that Celestia tried to teach me magic."

"And how did that go?" Fancy asked curiously.

"I almost farted." he addmited sheepishly and both unicorns recoiled slightly.

"You almost... Passed something in front of Princess Celestia?" Fancy asked horrified.

"Relax, she was cool about it." Orion waved his hoof in dismissal. "She even laughed."

"Thank goodness." Fleur sighed in relief.

"Then Luna woke me up from my nap, still high on coffee, and after some bantering I had to chase her around the castle." Orion continued.

"And that is how you learned to gallop?"

"What?" Orion asked before it clicked. "Yeah! Gallop! RIght!"

"So what happened next?" Fleur asked and Orion shrugged.

"Not much really. We fired spitballs at Blueblood-"

"YOU DID WHAT?" Fancy and Fleaur screamed and Orion held up his hooves defensively.

"Whoa! In my defense it was Luna's idea." that caused bot unicorn to go slack-jawed. "Quite the prankster that one. Blueballs never saw us coming, heck, he still doesn't know who did it." Orion began chuckling while Fancy and Fleur stared at him in horror. "The funniest part was when he demanded that Luna find the one responsible." he wiped and oncoming tear from his eyes. "Good times." Orion the looked to the two shocked unicorns in front of him. "What?"

"N-nothing..." Fancy looked at him in disbelief. Did Orion not understand just in what kind of trouble this could have landed him in? "Continue."

"Right..." Orion said with a raised brow. "Well, after coming down from her coffee high, I put Luna to bed and not much happened after that. I just lazed around the rest of the day, went to sleep after dinner and here I am." it took the two a moment to process what Orion just said.

"Excuse me, sorry." Fleur shook her head vigorously. "Did you just say you put Princess Luna to bed?" she must have heard him wrong.

"Yeah." the couple thought there was something seriously wrong with him."It was her first experience with real coffee and she crashed hard. She could barely keep her eyes open so I lead her to her room and put her to bed." Orion observed the shocked couple in front of him. "Okay, I'll bite. What's wrong?"

"You lead Princess Luna to her chambers." Fancy asked and Orion nodded.

"And then you put her in her bed." Fleur continued and Orion nodded once again. "And you see nothing wrong with that?"

"I couldn't just leave her in some random hallway." Orion tilted his head in confusion. "What's wrong with you two?" the couple looked at each other with flabergasted expressions. Fancy then turned to Orion and spoke with a serious tone.

"Orion, my boy, ponies tend to talk about these things." he began and Orion raised a brow. "And with all this ridiculous talk about marriage it would only fan the flames if somepony saw you enter her chambers."

"Nopony saw us." Orion mentally patted himself for using the correct phrase on the first try. "Besides, nothing's gonna' happen between us so let them talk." Fleur looked at Fancy uncertainly but the stallion merely sighed. "You worry too much."

"We care about your safety, Orion." Fleur said gently and put a hoof on his shoulder. "You are hurt and vulnerable right now until your condition gets better." Orion rolled his eyes but appreciated the thought.

"I must warn you, many will try to take advantage of you, seeing you are an alicorn and close to the princesses." Fancy warned and Orion scoffed.

"I'd like to see them try." he smirked. "Brain damaged or not, I'm a pretty smart cookie."

"We just want you to be safe, Orion." Fleur said softly and suddenly nuzzled his cheek which made Orion recoil a bit. "Oh, my apologies. I just-"

"It's fine." Orion waved a hoof dismissively and stood up. "Hey, what do you say you give a tour of the city? I didn't get to see much in the dark and from the backalleys." this only made Fleur want to hug the stallion in comfort, remembering what his life was before Fancy found him.

"Well, as luck would have it, we were just about to take a relaxing stroll through town." Fancy declared and Orion perked up. "We would be delighted if you joined us, my friend."

"Great!" Orion almost jumped in place. "Lead the way!" his giddiness made Fleur and Fancy chuckle and so they embarked on their walk. As they moved through Canterlot, and more and more ponies filled the streets, the married couple noticed more and more eyes on them. They knew the cause of it, of course, and did their best to ignore it. They almost bumped into Orion as he suddenly stopped and looked towards an alley to the right."I remember sleeping in that alley." both Fleur's and Fancy's ears drooped at that revelation. After a moment of reminiscence, Orion continued walking with Fleur and Fancy in tow."This is a nice town."

"Well, Canterlot is the capital of Equestria after all." Fancy clarified and Orion nodded in response."It's architecture dates back for a thousand years."

"Yeah, I can see that." Orion said looking around and then his eye spot somepony familiar. "Hey look. It's Celestia." Fancy's and Fleur's eyes almost pop out of their sockets. "Hey! Over here!" Orion waves over Celestia and her two guards. As the princess approaches them, Fancy and Fleur immediatelly bow in respect while Orion remains standing.

"Greetings, my little ponies. You may rise." she said with her gentle, motherly voice and then looked to Orion. "Good morning, Orion."

"Morning!" Orion replied happily and did a few laps around Celestia and her guards. "Look! I can gallop!" now, Celestia had to supress a giggle at his antics but she was glad he was recovering. Meanwhile, the ponies around them watched the scene in astonishment and some found Orion's behaviour deeply insulting.

"I can see that." Celestia said and Orion trotted in place. "Is that how you left the castle?" that made Fleur and Fancy realize they didn't ask him how he got to their house.

"Actually, I just walked out through the front door." Celestia raised a curious brow. "Are you here to bring me back?" he asked sheepishly and Celestia shook her head.

"No, Orion. I didn't even know you were gone." her gaze shifted to one of her guards who gupled nervously."Why is that, Sharp Spear?"

"I shall investigate it, your Highness!" and with that, the Solar guard bolted off towards the castle. Celestia then stood between Orion, Fancy and Fleur before smiling.

"So, where are we going?" she asked innocently and looked at the nervous Fancy and Fleur.

"W-we're in the middle of our morning stroll, your majesty." Fleur replied and Celestia's ears twitched.

"Oh. I apologize if I'm-"

"Not at all!" Fancy suddenly said and smiled widely. "Your are most welcome to join us if you so wish." Fleur nodded in agreement and Orion simply shrugged, he didn't really mind.

"Splendid!" Celestia said and looked to Orion."Orion, any idea where you want to go?" Orion then mulled it over before speaking.

"Well, actually, can we get something to eat?" he asked sheepishly. "I kinda' skipped breakfast." the three plus the guard blinked at him a few times before Celestia spoke.

"I don't see why not. Any particular place in mind?" she asked and Orion nodded.

"There's a place down the street if I remember correctly."

"You mean Cinnamon Chai's Tea and Cake Shop?" Fancy asked and Celestia's smile spread. That was her favorite!

"I don't know, never got to see the name. But their leftovers were great so the fresh ones must be good, right?" and that put a damper on their spirits as they were once again reminded of Orion's street life."Oh come on, it wasn't all bad."

"Orion-"Celestia began."-I am truly sorry you had to go through that."

"It's fine." Orion said dismissively and smiled once more. "Well, what are we waiting for?" he then stepped aside and raised his right hoof. "Ladies first." both Celestia and Fleur giggled while Fancy smiled proudly.

"Oh my, what a gentlestallion." Celestia giggled and took the front with Fleur.

"A gentlestallion indeed." Fancy smiled but just as he was about to follow he got held up by Orion. Looking at him in confusion, the alicorn lowered his head and spoke in a whisper.

"Hey, umm... Can you pay for breakfast? I'm kinda' broke over here." Fancy looked at him in amusement. "I'll pay you back I promise!" Fancy then erupted in laughter and Orion raised his head before tilting it in confusion."What? I mean it!" Fancy just patted him on the back before following after princess Celestia and his wife.

"Oh Orion, never a dull day with you."
> 7 - You got jokes
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cinnamon Chai's Tea and Cake Shop sure was a fancy place. It was in Canterlot after all so that much was expected. Even though it was a pastry shop, it had the interrior of a five star restaurant. Celestia, Fancy Pants and Fleur were used to this kind of decor, but Orion...

"Are you alright?" Fancy raised his eyes above the menu he was holding and looked at Orion who was fidgeting in place and looking around nervously.

"Who, me? Peachy!" Orion replied very convincingly and looked back at his menu. "I could buy a house with these prices..." how did Orion deduce that? Well, you hear ponies talk when you prowl hidden in the night and certain everyday items come to conversation. Then take a look at the prices and simple math will do.

"You are mumbling again, Orion." Celestia scolded from Orion's left. "Besides, I don't think the prices here are that high." Orion gave her a deadpan look.

"You live in a castle." his response fell on deaf ears apparently as Celestia hummed in thought.

"What do I order, I wonder." she said completely ignoring Orion's frown.

"It's alright Orion, we will pay for breakfast." Fleur joined in on the conversation and her husband backed her up with a firm nod.

"Oh I can't possibly allow you to do that." Celestia lowered her menu and looked at the couple. "I insist I pay since-"

"Since you'll probably eat the most?" Orion finished that sentence but with no malice in his tone. However, Fancy and Fleur's jaws hit the table and the shop suddenly went quiet. Did he just call their Princess fat? Celestia, on the other hoof, looked at Orion with a raised brow.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" she asked, trying her best to sound not too insulted. Orion, completely oblivious to what was happening around him, delivered his surprisingly logical answer.

"You, and me-"

"I." Celestia corrected, her expression unchanged.

"-are alicorns and we're like, two times the size of other ponies." Celestia blinked in surprise. "And we have to eat more, which will make for a higher bill and you don't want to make everypony to pay more than they have to. Truly, a benevolent ruler." Fancy and Fleur looked at Celestia as if looking for confirmation to Orion's words. Celestia was skeptical about his explanation, even though she knew it made sense and was actually true. Celestia sighed and looked at the married couple sitting across from her and Orion.

"It is true, my little ponies." the two unicorns sighed in relief. "Very observant of you, Orion."

"Thanks." he replied, still looking over the menu and finally deciding on orange juice and some donuts. Fancy bowed curtly to Celestia and was ready to dispel any discomfort the princess had about them paying.

"Well, your majesty, I assure you that-"

"And also." Orion suddenly turned to Celestia whose ears perked in interest. "That whole diet thing is stupid. You don't have to lose weight."

"Oh! Why, thank you Orion." Celestia replied a bit flustered.

"Besides, you're not ready for my fat jokes." ah, there it was.

"Try me." Celestia challenged with a smirk. Just as Orion opened his mouth, a waiter came to the table.

"Good morning your majesty. My name is Savoir Flare and I'll be your waiter roday." Savoir Flare greeted with a bow which Celestia returned with a polite nod.

"Oh thank goodness." both Fancy and Fleur sighed in relief.

"Sir Fancy, Miss Fleur." Savoir nodded curtly to the two and turned to Orion. "And Sir Orion, it is an honor having you here."

"You know who I am?" Orion asked, his head tilted to the right.

"Why of course! You are the biggest news in Canterlot right now." Savoir responded and took out his notepad. "Now, may I take your orders?" he was still looking at Orion.

"Oh, uhh, I'll have an orange juice with a straw and four chocolate donuts." Savoir wrote it down and looked to Fancy and Fleur.

"Well, we already ate so we'll just have some refreshing mint tea." Fancy said and Savoir got a nod from Fleur. That finally left Celestia.

"I will have a chocolate cake." she said with a smile. Savoir wrote it all down, picked up their menu's with magic and made his way to the kitchen.

"What about him?" Orion looked towards the remaining blue pegasus guard who was stationed outside.

"Storm Breaker has declined my invitation to join us. He feels it is unproper for a guard to eat with the princess." Celestia explained briefly and Orion nodded in understanding. That didn't mean he was just going to accept it.

"Storm Breaker, huh?" Orion looked at the guard who probably hadn't moved a muscle since taking his post. "He looks hungry."

"I imagine he is. Storm Breaker has been working overtime for the past month and I heard reports he has been skipping his meals." Celestia's voice held a tone of sadness. "I admire their commitment to their job but I fear for their health."

"Can't you just order him to take a break, your majesty?" Fancy chimed in but before Celestia could respond, Orion jumped in.

"Sometimes, there has to be somepony other than your boss to tell you to slow down. Maybe he needs the money." Orion then stood up.

"Where are you going?" Celestia asked as Orion made his way to the exit but got no reply. The trio watched as Orion went outside and talked to Storm Breaker. The guards's head suddenly snapped towards them before returning to Orion. Orion said something and the guard nodded before following Orion back inside. The two got to the table and Storm Breaker spoke.

"You wanted to speak to me, your Majesty?" Celestia was caught off guard by that question but Orion spoke for her.

"Yes, Princess Celestia just realized that I am lacking security." Orion said and gave Celestia a look. The princess quickly caught on.

"That is correct." she said with a nod.

"Therefore, she suggested that you be assigned as my personal guard." Orion continued and Celestia realized where he was going with this. She smiled lightly and nodded in confirmation.

"That is also correct. Storm Breaker, you are hereby assigned as Sir Orion Pax's personal guard. Wherever he goes, you go." Celestia said sternly and Storm Breaker stood to attention.

"Yes, your Majesty!"

"You shall also be under his direct command during this time." Celestia continued.

"Yes, your Majesty!"

"Awesome!" Orion trotted in place before turning to Storm Breaker. "First order, you will eat with us."

"Yes, your High- wait, what?" Storm Breaker's exterior faltered as he looked at Orion "I couldn't possibly-"

"Yes, you could. And, since I'm techically a diplomat from a foreign country, it would be very offfensive if you declined my offer." Orion then looked at Celestia with a pointed look. "We wouldn't want an international incident, now would be, Princess Celestia?"

"Oh, most certainly not!" Celestia replied as if she was horrified by the idea.

"I..." Storm Breaker looked between Celestia and Orion, trying to find a way out but there was only so much he could do. He couldn't risk an international incident! His mom would kill him!

"Excellent!" Orion exclaimed and sat back down next to Celestia. "Now pull up a coushin and sit. You can order when the waiter comes around." Storm Breaker stood frozen in place until Orion raised his voice. "Move it, soldier!" as if Orion slapped him, Storm Breaker quickly found a coushin and dragged it to Orion's right. He sat down and looked at the other ponies sitting at the table.

"Uh, hello. I will be joining you today, if that is alright." he said sheepishly and rubbed his front hooves together.

"Of course it is." Fancy said with a smile and his wife joined in.

"We are happy to know that our friend Orion is in good hooves." she added.

"Storm Breaker is one of my best. You really have an eye for talent, Orion." Celestia's words caused Storm to fidget in his seat.

"Thank you, your Majesty." he said and tried to regain his composure. It's not everyday you get praised by your boss like that.

"You can take off your helmet if you want." Orion said and Storm Breaker looked at Celestia.

"Don't look at me. Orion is your boss now." Celestia replied with a giggle and Strom Breaker looked between the two alicorns. Well, this has been unorthodox so far so why not roll with it. He raised his hooves to his helmet and pulled it off, revealing red mane underneath.

"And as your new boss I have an assingment for you." Orion's words got Storm's attention. "After this, we'll make an in-depth tour of Canterlot so I don't get lost if I go out on my own again. I mean seriously, I thought the castle was bad but the city's even more of a maze." he huffed an looked at Celestia. "More roadsigns wouldn't hurt ya' know."

"I shall take your proposition into consideration. We don't want an internation incident, Sir Orion." Celestia answered sarcastically.

"You were this close with that mud water you call coffee." Orion's gaze sharpened towards Celestia.

"Your new coffee made it possible for me to work overtime, your Highness." Storm Breaker happily chimed in towards Orion. "I haven't slept in 36 hours!"

"I'm cutting you off." Orion's head snapped to Storm Breaker whose eyes widened in shock. "Boss' orders. You need proper rest and no coffee for the next two days."

"B-but! It's so good!" Storm Breaker pleaded but to no avail.

"Your little pony body isn't ready for real coffee." Orion patted Storm on the shoulder. "We'll start our coffee takeover soon, young grasshopper." Storm Breaker nodded, a small tear in his eye. Fancy and Fleur chuckled at the display while Celestia smiled lightly. Orion was making a new friend.

"Your orders, dear customers." Savoir flare announced his presence and started laying down the dishes. "Tea for the lovely couple." two cups of mint tea were set infront of Fleur and Fancy. "Orange juice with a straw and four chocolate donuts for Sir Orion." those donuts looked really good and Orion could't help but drool a little. "And the chocolate cake special for Princess Celestia."

THUMP

"Holy mother..." Orion's eyes were wide as saucers. The cake was huge! He thought she'd get two, three slices but this was a whole cake. Four layers filled with chocolate cream, covered in whipped cream and strawberries on top. "I guess it's past noon somewhere."

"This is the Princess' regular order." Savoir Flare chimed in. Orion only blinked a couple of times.

"Okay, you have an eating disorder." Celestia raised a brow at Orion. "You will it dis order and that order and all other orders."

"Har-har-har." Celestia stuck her tongue out, though she had to admit it was a good joke. Fleur and Fancy were just glad that Celestia took it as a joke and hadn't thrown Orion in the dungeon. Wait, does she actually throw ponies in the dungeon? Does the castle even have a dungeon.

"If you skip a meal, does the stock market drop?" guess they're about to find out.

"Will you be paying Orion? I swear I saw ducks throwing bread at you." Celestia shot back with a smirk and Orion recoiled in mock shock. "Now, pay attention as I- oh wait, you can't afford to pay attention,can you?"

"You've got game, princess." Orion found a worthy opponent.

"Uhm, what will I eat?" Storm Breaker asked with a raised hoof.

"Ask Sally Struthers over there to share some snacks." Orion rolled his eyes.

"What?" all present ponies asked.

"What?" Orion asked as well, completely forgetting they don't know about a certain cartoon set in a small town in Colorado. "Anyway, here, have a donut." Orion pushed his plate to Storm Breaker who waved his hooves.

"Your Highness, I couldn't-"

"First off, it's not highness, it's Sir Orion, and when your helmet's off, it's just Orion." the gray alicorn said quickly and pushed the plate even more towards Storm Breaker.

"As you wish, your High-, I mean Sir O- I mean-"

"We'll work on it." Orion patted Storm Breaker once again and the pegasus took one of the donusts. "You're not getting my juice though." Orion pulled the glass closer and took a big sip through his straw and observed as Celestia brought her fork towards the cake. She took a big piece out of it and brought it closer to her mouth.

"Princess Celestia!" Serifa appeared out of nowhere, startling the Sun princess into dropping a fork-full of perfectly good cake.

"Horsefeathers!" Celestia exclaimed as she watched the cake splatter on the floor.

"Did I not tell you yesterday that you need to keep your diet?" Serifa scolded as Celestia's ears sprawled back.

"Hurry back, Raven Inkwell..." she said so quietly that nopony heard her. Well, a gray alicorn did anyway.

"And must I remind you, once again, that appearancess are important to-"

"Wait!" Orion suddenly put his left forehoof on Celestia's shoulder firmly. "Do that again!"

"Do what again?" Celestia asked, one ear perked up in interest as others watched with anticipation.

"The cake! Eat the cake!" Orion said urgently as his eyes looked off into the distance. "I feel... Memories." he blinked a few times and moved his gaze to Celestia. "You must eat the cake! Hurry!"

"You have got to be kidding me." Serifa scoffed but Orion glared at the mare.

"Are you saying my mental recovery is not as important as making sure Celestia's scale doesn't say To be continued?" Celestia frowned at that and Fleur had to surpress a giggle.

"W-well, no. But-"

"Celestia." Orion spoke with the utmost urgency. "It is of utmost importance you eat that whole cake. Do you understand?" her fork was already in the air engulfed in magic.

"All to get your memories back." and she dug in with gusto.

"I can't believe this." Serifa face-hoofed.

"Yes! I can feel something!" Orion exclaimed dramatically while Celestica decimated the cake. "Distant memories are resurfacing!" the strawberries went first, drowned in whipped cream. "It's all so clear now!" the first layer was gone, three more to go. "My life is flashing before my eyes!" half-way there. "Wow, that was depressing." one more to go. "What? Oh no! This can't be real! I refuse to believe it!" Fancy and Fleur were doing their best not to erupt in laughter at Orion's over dramatic display. Storm Breaker was just horrified at the speed at which Celestia was destroying the cake. "I... I realize now..." Celestia was finished with only crumbs remaining.

"What do you realize?" Serifa asked with a roll of her eyes.

"I left the stove on." Orion blinked a few times and shrugged. "Oh well..." then he returned to his juice, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. Serifa facehoofed so hard she almost broke her nose.

"Glad I could help." Celestia said calmly as she cleaned her lips with a napkin in a ladylike manner.

"It's... All gone..." Strom Breaker heard the rumors but refused to believe them.

"I can't believe you two." Serifa sighed deeply and pulled out a parchment from her bag. "This is your schedule for the day. Do as you please." Celestia took a quick glance at the piece of paper and her ears perked up.

"Oh! Twilight and her friends are on their way to Canterlot! It says they've found Nibbler!"

"Really?" Orion then leaned over and read it for himself. "Awesome!"

"Well, since you don't seem to listen to me, your personal assistant, at all, I will be taking a day off then." Serifa then bowed.

"I apologize, Serifa. But it was only to help Sir Orion." Celestia was truly sorry, but sometimes you just gotta' have some fun. Serifa took a quick glance at the empty plate in front of Celestia and then back at the princess unamused.

"Uh-huh."

"Oh come on, it's all in good fun." Orion joined in but Serifa wasn't having any of it.

"Sir Orion, I am Princess Celestia's personal assistant, do you know what that means?" Serifa asked and puffed out her chest with pride. Orion opened his mouth to speak but was elbowed by noneother than Storm Breaker. Orion was impressed how the guard was able to read his mind. "It means I have to organize Celestia's schedule down to the tiniest detail so that everything that has to be done will be done when it needs to be done and not a second later since it could greatly disrupt all other things that need to be done on a particular day and then things can quickly-"

"That's a lot of things to do." Orion said quickly.

"-and your shennanigans are getting in the way of things not getting done properly." and then Serifa inhaled so deeply, Orion thought she sucked out all the air from the cake shop. "So next time you want to have fun, please do it after 6pm when the Princess enters her personal time."

"Fun is to be had at a specific time at a specific place. Got it." Orion saluted but Serifa's expression remained stern.

"Princess, we must prepare for your student's arrival. It has sprung up so suddenly that I had to shuffle some things around but we can still accomplish everything for today." Serifa then turned towards the exit. "Whenever you're ready."

"She means well." Celestia told Orion who just nodded in understanding.

"I know. Go run your kingdom. I'll see you later."

"Then, I shall take my leave. Have a good day, my little ponies." Celestia bid farewell and Fancy, Fleur and Storm Breaker bowed to their Princess. Serifa was the first one out followed by Celestia who stopped midway through. "Oh, before I forget. Orion?" the stallion looked towards Celestia. "Canterlot Daily offered you a free yearly subscription and wanted to know your address so I gave them one." Orion looked at her in confusion. He lived at the castle, right?

"What address did you give them?" Celestia smirked smugly.

"This side up."
> 8 - Flagpoles and other inconveniences
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

There were some things Orion didn't understand. Like how Celestia and Luna were controlling the Sun and Moon respectively. Or magic, cool as it was, it still eluded him. There was also the fact that Canterlot looked like some cutesy medieval town where everypony was happy and nice all the time. Well, mostly happy and nice but that's beside the point.

He even accepted that there were dragons, griffons, hydras, minotaurs and all manner of different creatures inhabiting this world. The amount of sugar these ponies consumed on a daily basis was also maddening.

"This can't be normal. " Orion said with a snort.

"It is completely normal. " replied Celestia as she observed the same scene unfolding through Canterlot.

"I mean, I saw it happen before, but the entire town? " the stallion raised a curious brow and got a shrug in response from Celestia and the two guards behind them.

"It is what it is. " Celestia replied, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

"It's Highschool Musical it's what it is. " Orion groaned making Celestia look at him from the corner of her eye. "Never mind."

"What can I say? It's the Music of Harmony. " Celestia now smiled fully as she watched Twilight Sparkle and her friends practically drag the entire town towards the castle entrance with their song and dance. "One day you will experience it too. "

"I bet it'd be the Music of copyright infringment in my case. "

"You do say some strange things, Orion. " Celestia shook her head in amusement. "I assure you, the Music of Harmony comes from the heart. " by the looks of it, Twilight's performance was coming to a close as she was basically at the castle gates. "I'm sure your Music will be unique and not infringe on anypony. " and sure enough, the song and dance ended a couple of hooves in front of Orion and Celestia. "Welcome, Twilight Sp- "

"OH MY GOSH! IT'S TRUE! " the young alicorn yelled in surprise.

"Rude. " Celestia deadpanned making Orion snicker.

"Told ya'! " a raspy, tomboyish voice adeed smugly.

"Now that's a stallion if ah' a ever seen one. " an orange mare with a stetson added.

"Wowzers! This puts a whole new spin on things! Imagine if the writers did something like this for season- "

"What? " Orion gawked at the pink mare with matching curly mane as she explained how some cartoon could have been better. Then she suddenly gasped and disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving Orion to blink rapidly in shock.

"Don't worry about her, darling. " a white unicorn mare with violet mane said, her accent somewhat refined. "It's just how Pinkie Pie is. "

"Oh! I remember you. You're Screamy! " Orion's statement made the mare flinch in shock.

"E-excuse me? My name is not Screamy, it's Rarity! " she made a dramatic show of being very offended.

"Oh, sorry. But you screamed so loud when you saw me so I remembered you as Screamy. " Rarity huffed at his apology.

"Screamy! Hilarious! " the cyan pegauses laughed her heart out and Orion turned to her next.

"You're prorbably not Dashie. Since, you know, you ran away so fast- " the mare was suddenly inches from his nose.

"I'll have you know I did NOT run away! " she poked him in the chest. "I just remembered I left the stove on. And my name is actually Rainbow Dash. " she pulled back and stretched her wings proudly. "The fastest flier in all of Equestria! So you better think twice- "

"When assuming anything about you based on your mane color. Got it. "

"Huh? "

"And you must be Fainty. " Orion tried to look at the yellow pegasus hiding behind a still angry Rarity. He could faintly hear the mare saying something but it was so quiet he couldn't make out anything. "You're gonna' have to speak up. " Orion encouraged her but to no avail. "Look, I'm not some scary monster that- NIBBLER! " he shouted with glee when a squirell cam out from the pink mane and switfly jumped on Orion's head.

"For your information- " Rarity moved aside before pushing the pegasus forward. "- her name is Fluttershy. "

"A-and his name is not Nibbler. " the timid mare finally spoke. "It's Cinnamon. " Orion raised a brow and looked at his little friend who shrugged in response.

"So this is not Nibbler then? " Celestia asked curiously, watching the squirell climb around Orion's body and inspecting if the stallion was in one piece.

"Oh no, he is Nibbler. " Fluttershy's voice was gaining volume. "He told me that, um, excuse me, what is your name? " she looked at Orion who was letting Nibbler use his red scarf as a hammock.

"It's Orion. Orion Pax. " Celestia noticed his voice suddenly got a bit deeper. Almost mature and heroic.

"Nice to meet you, mister Orion. " Fluttershy smiled before returnig to look at Celestia. "Um, Princess Celestia, Cinammon told me how mister Orion gave him that name. I assume it was because mister Orion didn't know his real name. "

"I understand. " Celestia nodded and then looked to Orion. "But why Nibbler? "

"Because he likes to- " the squirrel swiftly climbed to Orions head and- "OW! Bite my ear! Dude! We've been over this! " Nibbler simply didn't care and went back to the makeshift hammock.

"Oh. " Fluttershy then noticed the scarf around Orion's neck. "Is that our picnic mat? "

"Yeah, sorry about that. I also kinda' ate all your food. " Orion replied sheepishly.

"It's no problem at all, darling. " it would seem Rarity recovered from the name trauma. "We're happy it all worked out in the end. Twilight filled us in on your situation. " she gestured to the purple alicorn.

"Twilight? Where is she- HEY! " Orion jumped away when he saw Twilight was underneath him and... Inspecting. "What's the big idea? " Twilight jumped to her hooves with a paper and quill levitating beside her.

"I'm taking notes! I had to make sure- "

"That I had a second tail? " then he remembered his junk was basically out in the open, like everypony elses for that matter, and it made him incredibly self-conscious. "Boundaries! " Orion flopped on his rump and made sure his junk was very well covered. "I need pants... "

"Well you're in luck then. " Rarity swished her mane to the side. "You are in the presence of a renowned fashionista! I will be more than happy to make some exquisite garments for you. " she already had her measuring tape out and was ready to be the first to design an outfit for Equestria's first, and only, alicorn stallion. Rainbow Dash was bombarding him with questions and challenging him to a race. Applejack was trying to sell him some of her apples which she pulled out of nowhere. Fluttershy was asking him how he met Nibbler. Orion didn't know where to begin answereing.

"Princess Celestia! " Twilight suddenly appeared before said princess.

"Glad somepony noticed I'm here. " she rolled her eyes.

"This is huge! " the young mare didn't register her mentor's jab. "I mean! A stallion! And an alicorn at that! "

"Yes Twilight. Now if you all would be so kind and give Orion some breathing room. " everypony stopped what they were doing and backed away from the now iritated looking Orion. "Why don't we go inside and talk over a nice cup of tea and some cupcakes? "



Contrary to what was said, everypony actually sat in silence for at least thirty minutes before Applejack broke the silence.

"So... " she looked to Orion who was sipping coffee.

"So... " he replied and silnce took over once more. This time Twilight deiced to break it.

"Princess Celestia, this is huge. " her quill was still taking notes.

"You've said that already Twilight. " Celestia replied calmly. "How about you ask him some questions. A bit of small talk does wonders. "

"Where did you come from? How old are you? Do you know magic? Duh, of course you do, you're an alicorn. "

"Don't know. Old enough. No. " Orion replied equally fast and everypony except Celestia gasped in shock.

"Lessons are in progress. " Celestia replied before Twilight bombarder her with questions.

"And no, you may not inspect my chakras or whatever to see if my magic paths are blocked. " Orion glared at Twilight. "You inspected enough. "

"Well, maybe I can teach you! " Twilight jumped to her hooves and smiled at Orion. "I am the element of magic after all. "

"I don't think that would be a good idea Twilight. " Celestia replied to which Twilight used her best puppy eyes look.

"Pretty please! "

"Pretty please no! " Orion did the same, mocking the mare's attempts. Twilight frowned and turned to Orion.

"I'm just trying to help. "

"Hey, you slid under me like some kind of mechanic inspecting if I had an oil leak. " Orion said back in a huff.

"What's the big deal? " Rainbow rose up and wiggled her rump towards him, thankfully concealing her privates with her tail. "Everypony here is naked. " Orion quickly looked away and closed his eyes for good measure.

"I am painfully aware of that. " Orion replied.

"Ah also don't see tha' problem, sugarcube. " Applejack tilted her head. "It's just the way things are. "

"Quite so, darling. " Rarity took a sip of her tea before continuing. "If you're embarrassed about springing a stiffie in public, rest assured- "

"Oh hell no! I don't want to talk about sudden flagpoles in public! " he jumped to his hooves and began walking to the door. "Elements of Harmony my ass. Elements of Horny is more like it. "

"Orion, stop. " Celestia said with authority and all mares gasped in shock as Orion simply ignored it and walked out.

"Rude. " Rarity said with a huff.

"Yes, it's getting contagious lately. " Celestia said dryly and sighed. "Girls, you need to understand that Equestria is new to him. Things we take for granted or normal are foreign concepts to him. "

"But we're just trying to help. " Twilight's ears flopped down.

"I know, my dear Twilight. " Celestia nuzzled her favorite student. "You just need to take it slow with him. Orion is scared and confused by all of this and it's best to- "

"Where's Fluttershy? " Rainbow suddenly asked and sure enough, no yellow pegasus in sight.



Orion stomped the streets of Canterlot in a mix of embarrassement and iritation, his eyes fixed on the ground to avoid seeing any unnecessary appendages.

"It's all normal. It's all natural. " he grumbled to himself. "Oh why yes of course we're all butt naked. Look at my ass and have a cookie! " Nibbler just swayed along to Orion's hoofsteps in the scarf. "And who does Twilust Sparkplug think she is? You can't just suddenly look at someones junk. " he stopped suddenly. "Or can you? " a squeak from Nibbler and a head shake later told him it was a deffinite no. He continued on his way to nowhere, mumbling to himself until he noticed ponies were giving him strange looks. "What? Never seen someo-, somepony, talking to themselves? "

"I- " a random stallion began but was interrupted quickly.

"Hey! Don't judge me! All of you were The sound of music until thirty minutes ago! " Orion pointed accusingly at the ponies around him who didn't know what to make of the strange alicorn walking their streets and simply decided to back away. Except for one that tapped his shoulder. "What? " Orion spun around quickly and came face to face with his tapper.

"Eep! " Fluttershy jumped back at the sudden move and Orion sighed.

"What do you want, Flutters? " the yellow mare then moved closer and looked Orion directly in the eyes.

"Are you okay? " the question was simple yet powerful. Both were locked in a staring contest for at least a minute before Orion flopped on his haunches and sighed deeply.

"No. No I'm not. " he admitted and stared at the ground. Fluttershy joined him at his side and put her wing over his back in comfort.

"Do you want to talk about it? "

"Not really. " Orion replied and when Fluttershy didn't push the issue he looked at her. Fluttershy's eyes conveyed nothing but compassion and understanding and he somehow felt calmer already. "You're not going to pester me with questions? "

"Not unless you want me to. " she replied with a kind smile which Orion returned.

"You're not the shy one, you're the reasonable one. " Fluttershy rubbed his back with her wing and Orion hummed in content. "Sorry for storming out. "

"It's okay. All of this is new to you. "

"I don't think I'll get used to it anytime soon. " Orion replied and unconscoiusly pulled his hind legs closer together with the tail inbetween.

"Take your time. " Fluttershy reassured him once again and Orion felt another wave of relief.

"You're good at this. "

"Well, when you're like me, you tend to listen a lot. " Fluttershy addmited with a blush. "But I've made my voice heard over the past few years. And if I can do that, then I'm sure you can do anything you set your mind to. "

"That bad, huh? "

"That bad. " they shared a laugh before Fluttershy continued. "You know what would sometimes help? A walk. " she got up and offered Orion a helping hoof.

"Really? " he tilted his head but took her hoof nontheless.

"It really does wonders. " she reassured him and the two decided to take that walk. There was no particular destination they were heading to but it was nice. They chatted along the way, well, mostly Fluttershy about her adventures which left Orion in awe but it really did help Orion ease his mind. She was in the middle of telling him about Princess Cadance's wedding when something strange happened.

"Hang on, you're telling me that... That... That... " Fluttershy tilted her head in confusion when she noticed Orion trailing off, his gaze going through her. Fluttershy turned around and realized they in front of a music store located at the very edge of Canterlot. She looked back to Orion but his gaze was fixed on the instruments in the display window. He slowly walked past her and towards the display. Fluttershy quietly observed Orion as he neared the window, his eyes glued to a certain instrument.

"Fluttershy! " she heard her name called and snapped her neck towards her incoming friends, Princess Celestia and a couple of guards.

"SHHHH! "

"Rude. " everypony said in unison. Fluttershy pointed towards Orion whose face was glued to the window.

"What is he looking at? " Twilight asked nopony in particular and the entourage moved up to see what was going on. "What is that? "

"It's a guitar I think. " Celestia said in surprise.

"It looks awesome! " Rainbow Dash had stars in her eyes.

"It looks weird. " Twilight replied. The instrument in question had six string, nothing odd there, but it was the shape that threw them off. The body wasn't hollow and it had a V shape to it and the headstock looked like an arrow head. Where there usually was a resonance hole were strange black rectangles and some knobs around it with a small hole between them, like something was supposed to be plugged in. It was painted a nice white color though.

"Hello beautiful. " all eyes were suddenly on Orion who practically salivated over the guitar. That is until he noticed his hooves on the window and sighed. "Next time baby. " pushing off the window he finally noticed the ponies around him. "Oh, hey. "

"Hey? You've been gone for two hours! " Twilight exclaimed and the rest nodded.

"How did you get out undetected- " Celestia shot her guards a look. "-yet again? And where is Storm Breaker? "

"I just walked out. Your security sucks to be honest. " Celestia couldn't really argue with him after having two succesfull escapes under his belt, but the guards were salty about it. "And Storm Breaker is on mandatory holiday until tomorrow. "

"I see. " Celestia nodded in understanding. "You had a pleasant walk I see. You look a lot better. "

"Sure do. This one's wise beyond her years. " Orion hugged Fluttershy with his wing, making the mare blush. "Now come on! I still have to hear the story about the wedding. I hope it's not like Game of Thrones. " his strange comparison aside, all but Celestia and her guards, went after Orion and listend to Fluttershy's story. The alicorn however stood still and returned her gaze to the strange looking guitar and looked at the price tag.

"Oh my. " granted, it wasn't much for royalty like her but the average pony would need to really pay big bits for it. Twilight noticed a lack of alabaster alicorn following and turned around to see what was going on. She trotted back to her former mentor and looked at the strange guitar once again.

"Buckson Ponycaster. " she furrowed her brows in thought. "Never heard of it. " Twilight lifted her gaze to Celestia who appeared to be deep in thought. "Princess? What are you thinking? "

"I'm thinking we just might get a breakthrough. " Celestia smiled and made her way inside the shop. "Time to see what kind of Music of Harmony you can make, Orion Pax"
> 9 - Music of copyright infringement
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The poor alarm clock stood no chance. On it's first ding Luna smashed it to bits an snarled at the broken contraption. She has yet to recover from her first coffee overdose crash. The last thing Luna remembers was walking with Orion through the castle, laughing their hearts out at how they pissed off Blueblood and then her alarm clock going off and being flung at the wall. Barely two hours of sleep and a full shift of Night Court made for a really grumpy alicorn princess. Like really, it's like somepony was messing with her with how busy court was. It was never ever that busy. Luna tried really hard to remember if she allowed some crazy pony requests to be granted in her half-asleep state.

Anyway, with pitch black circles under her eyes, Luna literally dropped out of way and crawled to her bedroom door.

"We shall hurt thee, Orion." the princess growled through clenched teeth and slowly got up on her hooves. Lazily opening the door she stepped into the hallway where two guards stood watch.

"Good eveni-BY CELESTIA'S BEARD!" one of the guards jumped after seeing their disheveled princess.

"Not. A. Word." Luna marched past the two guards and slowly descended the stairs towards the dining room. Some good breakfast, or dinner, depending who you ask, should be able to brighten her mood. Once in front of the dining room doors, Luna sighed in relief since there were no voices coming from inside. Peace and quiet.

The double doors opened just as her snout was a mere inch from it and she was greeted by a unicorn maid.

"Good ev-HOLY MOTHER OF-MMPF!" the maid didn't get to finish as Luna stuck her hoof in the maid's mouth with a death glare. The maid got the message and nodded furiously.

"Pancakes. Waffles. Extra everything." Luna removed her hoof and the maid scurried in a hurry towards the kitchen. Dragging her hooves on the marble floor, Luna finally plopped down on a midnight blue pillow and lazily grabbed the newspapers with her magic.


EQUESTRIA DAILY - LATE EDITION

HAS PRINCE ORION PAX LOST HIS MIND?
THE ALICORN WAS TALKING TO HIMSELF THIS AFTERNOON LIKE A CRAZYPONY
A SIGN OF THINGS TO COME?

WHAT ARE HOBBITS AND WHY DON'T DRAGONS LIKE THEM?
"COME NOW, DON'T BE SHY... STEP INTO THE LIGHT."

CEO OF HAYS CHIPS UNDER INVESTIGATION
"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHY WE BUY SO MANY OXYGEN TANKS!"


Luna looked at Orion's picture on the front page and scoffed, throwing the newspapers in a random direction. Curse him and his delicious coffee. Serves him right. For as long as she lives, Luna swore to never drink the vile concoction ever again!

"Coffee, your majesty?"

"Yes, thank you." well, an addict is an addict and after taking the first sip Luna was on the rebound. Oh how she relished in the black nectar of the gods that could wake the dead. This refined formula of Orion's was nothing short of revolutionary. How could they be so wrong and merely boil the beans in water? Orion deserved a medal for this contribution to ponykind. Luna was once again on a coffee high and didn't even notice her breakfast arrived. She was tired, yes, but after this cup the world shall brighten. Her exhaustion would fade away and she could properly resume her duties as Princess of the Night. Until this happened.

Diving to the ground like all hell broke loose and covering her ears with her hooves Luna was ready to tear the castle asunder.

"WHAT IS THIS HORRIBLE NOISE?" with her Royal Canterlot Voice, Luna shook the castle even more than the horrible sounds coming from somewhere in the castle. Was this another of Discord's pranks? If so, the draconequs was as good as dead. Not wasting more time, Luna searched for her sister and quickly teleported to her location.

To Luna's surprise she appeared in Orion's room, the stallion sitting on the bed with a cloth over his lap and playing a strange looking guitar that was connected to some sort of box. Her sister and the Elements of Harmony were also in attendance, hooves stuffed in their ears.

"WHAT THE BUCK IS GOING ON?" Luna yelled over the guitar sounds.

"LUCK? I WOULDN'T CALL IT LUCK, LULU!" Celestia shouted back.

"YEAH! IT'S MORE LIKE A DRAGON GRINDING HIS CLAWS ON STONE!" Rainbow joined in.

"AH' HEARD SOMETHING SIMILAR FROM THE BLACKSMITH'S SHOP IN PONYVILLE!" Applejack added.

"HOW BARBARIC!" Rarity tried to faint dramatically but it was just too loud. Luna glared at Orion who didn't even notice her presence, his hooves jumping on the guitar's neck faster than she'd ever seen anypony before.

"HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?" Luna turned back to Celestia.

"IT'S NOT A WEAPON!"

"WE ASKED HOW DID-oh to hay with this." Luna's horn glowed and a bubble formed around the mares, silencing Orion's playing. "Much better."

"I AM NOT A BEDWETTER!" Celestia shouted Luna's ears off before noticing there was a sound barrier. "Oops."

"Explain fast sister. Otherwise we shall send Orion into your Sun!" Luna stomped her hoof and some cracks formed on the ground.

"I am sorry Luna." Celestia nuzzled her sister's cheek affectionately. "As to how this happened, well..."



Not even twenty minutes earlier...

It was nearing dinner time, as Orion's stomach so loudly reminded them. Right on time too as he, the Mane 6 and Princess Celestia arrived at the castle gates.

"Wow. A walk really does wonders." Orion smiled at the shy pegasus walking on his right.

"Told you." Fluttershy smiled back and the group stopped at the stairs leading to the castle entrance.

"See Twilight? A little small talk goes a long way." Celestia smiled at her student who was still taking notes.

"But we tried that and he just up and left!" Twilight protested while watching Nibbler jump from Orion to Fluttershy and back.

"In retrospect, perhaps our idea of small talk, or rather our cultural differences were the trigger for his leaving." Celestia replied and hugged Twilight with her wing. "Let's tone down on checking and showing body parts around Orion. "

"We can do that." Twilight nodded. "What about your surprise? Do you think it will trigger some memories?"

"We will find out soon." Celestia then stepped forward and coughed lightly to draw attention to herself. "My little ponies, it is getting late and dinner time is upon us." all the mares and Orion moaned in disappointment. The guards really didn't care.

"Five more minutes?" Orion asked with a smirk.

"Please Princess Celestia." Fluttershy joined in with the most adorable puppy eyes she could muster.

"As luck would have it Fluttershy, there is actually something I wanted to show Orion before dinner." Celestia smiled and everypony perked up. "A surprise if you will."

"You didn't eat all the cake and we're having it for dinner?" Orion asked cheekily.

"I said surprise, not miracle." Celestia deadpanned. "If you all would follow me to Orion's room." instead of teleporting them like everypony suspected, Celestia took Orion's issues with teleporting into consideration and simply started walking to their destination. Celestia took the lead and everypony followed her through the castle.

"What do you think the surprise is?" Fluttershy asked.

"Pretty sure it's not cake. HEY!" he exclaimed when a multicolored tail whipped him across the snout.

"Rude." Celestia said over her shoulder. "And for your information, there is still cake. Probably. If you behave, maybe I'll let you have some. Here we are." Celestia just barged in with the rest in tow.

"Hey, isn't that-" Rainbow began but Orion beat her to it.

"No way! DUDE!" the stallion dashed towrds the white V guitar and hugged it tightly. "You even got an amp!" he then pulled the Maneshall amp into a hug as well.

"You're welcome." Celestia was delighted Orion liked his present.

"It's that weird lookin' guitar thang'." Applejack got closer and eyed the strange instrument.

"It's not weird looking! It's beautiful." Orion said with dreamy eyes.

"Then what's the hold up?" all eyes turned to Celestia. "Play something for us." then they were back to Orion, wide with anticipation and accompanied with huge smiles.

"Oh I can't play." Orion replied and went back to checking out his new gear. The room went so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

"What do you mean you can't play it?" Celestia's teeth were clenched so hard behind a forced smile you'd think they'd crack.

"Not with these anyway." Orion wiggled his hooves and Celestia relaxed. She regained her composure and slowly walked towards Orion.

"I see. You must then use magic to-"

"Nope."

"I don't understand." Twilight was pretty sure Celestia popped a vein.

"It's complicated." Orion replied and sat the guitar on the bed. Celestia was now really close.

"Then uncomplicate it."

"I can't just- It's- ARGH! I'll show you." Orion sat on the bed, pulled a blanket over his crotch and positioned the guitar. "See these?" he showed his hooves once again. "How am I supposed to play with stumpy hooves?"

"Uhhh, like everypony else, duh!" Rainbow snickered.

"She's right, darling." Rarity spoke up. "We don't use magic for every single thing. And I'll have you know that the best violin player in Equestria is an earth pony and earth ponies don't have unicorn magic. She's simply the best."

"Better than all the rest? Let me guess, her name is Quarta?"

"Octavia, actually."

"Right." Oiron rolled his eyes.

"Now listen here mister." Applejack pushed the heavy amp and speaker combo to Orion. "Princess Celestia went through tha' trouble of buyin' you a gift so gosh dang it you will play it!"

"If you don't mind, that is." Fluttershy handed him the cable and plugged one end into the guitar while Rarity plugged in the other.

"You seemed to be entranced by the guitar so Princess Celestia thought it would trigger some memories." Twilight added and flicked one of the switches and the amp hummed to life. "The least you can do is-" her hoof reached for the other switch.

"Don't!" Twilight looked at Orion and got ready for rejection. "The tubes have to heat up first."

"Tubes? You know how this works?" Twilight rushed to Orion who gently pushed her away. She will get that knowlegde sooner or later.

"Is that a yes?" Celestia asked, now with a genuine smile.

"Can't guarantee it'll be any good." Orion sighed. "Got a pick?" on cue, a pick floated into his right hoof. "Just give me a minute." Celestia nodded and took a few steps back before the others joined her.

"I think it's working." Twilight said excitedly as she watched Orion fiddle with the knobs on the guitar and amp.

"We shall see." Celestia responded and observed the stallion who looked like he was playing something but no sound was heard on the speaker. "At least he tuned it properly." a thousand years of living and just as many operas gave Celestia almost pitch perfect hearing.

"But what is he waiting for?" Twilight asked and tilted her head. Just then Orion flicked the second switch and looked over the guitar.

"Buckson Ponycaster. Maybe if Fender made Gibson models they would stay in tune and the headstock would not break on every single one." he said to himself.

"What was that?" Celestia didn't quite catch his monologue.

"Nothing." Celestia raised a brow. "Yes, it's rude to mumble, just... Let me focus and figure this thing out." Orion the lowered his gaze and positioned his hooves. "How the hell do I do this..." he tried strumming and plucking a few notes to see what works. It took him a few tries before something strange began happening. "No way..." Orion's eyes were wide as saucers as his right hoof picked the strings with ease and his left followed.

"I think he's actually doing it." Rainbow said in amazement.

"Hooves, darling. They can do anything." what Rarity didn't know was that Orion was feeling phantom appendages pressing on the strings, not his hooves. An evil grin spread across his muzzle which got even wider after he pressed a button on the amp.

"What does distortion mean?" Twilight tilted her head in confusion. Orion then turned one of the knobs on his guitar all the way as a piercing screech resonated from the speaker and the first low E shook the castle. More is all you need...



"And then you arrived." Celestia finished the story. "Luna?" her sister's shocked expression worried her. "What is it?" Luna grabbed Celestia's muzzle and turned it towrds Orion. "By the stars..." a blood red glow with patches of black was beginning to shine on Orion's horn. Luna immediately dropped the bearrier and their ears were assaulted by loud, yet techincally perfectly played notes of a guitar solo.

"ORION! " Luna ran up to Orion but a stray bolt of magic stopped her from reaching him.

"YOU HAVE TO STOP!" Celestia joined in but was stopped as well when more and more red and black bolts fired around a clueless Orion who played with his eyes closed, completely focused on the guitar solo and not missing a note. Luna was ready to blast him with magic but Orion finished to solo with a long held vibrato and set the volume on the guitar to zero. Everypony rushed towards him with looks of concern.

"Art thee well?" Luna asked, still on guard in case more bolts appeared.

"Orion?" Celestia called but got no response. "Talk to me Orion." she gently nudged him and Orion opened his eyes like nothing happened, a content smile on his muzzle. "Is everything alright?" Celestia put a hoof on his knee as Orion just stared at the guitar in his lap.

"My dad bought one just like this on the day I was born." he said suddenly. "Mom was so pissed. He spent like two months salary on it." Orion played a smiple A minor making everyone flinch in fear of another bolt. "He said that once he saw me for the first time, he knew I was going to become a rock star." Celestia and Luna mustered up their courage and sat on each side of the stallion.

"And did you?" Celestia asked making Orion chuckle.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Orion, how dost thou feel?" Luna asked with concern.

"Pretty good, actually." Orion sighed deeply. "After all this time... It was better than sex. OW! DUDE!" now it was Luna who smacked him with her tail but it was on the back of his head. "Sheesh."

"No need to be crude." Luna chided before smiling. "We are glad thou art feeling better. Though we would have preffered a more... Gentle song for our wake up." Orion's eyes went wide.

"I am so sorry! I totally forgot you have the night shift!"

"Night shift?" Luna scoffed. "Tis' more than a night shift! I happen to hold court at night the same way as my sister does in the morn!"

"Ing."

"What?"

"It's morning, not morn."

"I can still kill thee." Luna elbowed him playfully making Orion laugh.

"Speaking of kill, did I kill that solo or what?" Orion turned to Celestia excitedly who cringed.

"You certainly did... Something. "

"I know, right? At first I thought I couldn't do it but then something weird happened and I felt like I had my fing-I mean, my hooves guided by the gods of metal!"

"Gods of metal?" Celestia raised a curious brow.

"Yeah. Dio and Lemmy." he raised his hoof to the sky. The sisters looked at eachother like what the hay is he talking about?

"Well, whatever the reason, I am glad I could help." Celestia smiled.

"Oh you have no idea. I haven't played in ages! Ever since... Since..." Orion suddenly got quiet and his expression saddened.

"Orion?" both sisters asked.

"It's nothing." Orion shook his head and smiled again. "Now how about that cake, Sunbutt?" Luna guffawed at her sister's new nickname.

"I will not respond to that name." Celestia huffed, yet a smile was tugging on her lips.

"Sunbutt! Genius! Why haven't we thought of that?" Luna asked through laughter.

"Yeah, why didn't you, Moonbutt?" the laughing suddenly stopped but it picked right back up as Celestia entered a fit of laughter of her own. "Hey, if Celestia stands behind you, do you make an eclipse?"

"My butt is not that big!" Celestia slapped him playfully.

"It is bigger, sister dear." Luna snickered and the trio divulged into playful banter.

At the same time all of this was happening, Twilight was huddled with her friends and the guards, minus Pinkie Pie, with a look of deathly seriousness.

"Not a word to anypony."
> 10 - Chaotically harmonius
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Celestia and Luna, along with Twilight, her friends and the two guards that witnessed Orion's performance were sitting in the same room as the one when they arrived at the castle today. Nopony spoke a word yet all of them had the same thing on their mind.

"We have tah' tell him." Applejack spoke up.

"That would be unwise." Celestia shook her head. "His magic is-"

"Chaos magic, sister." Luna finished, her brows furrowed deep in thought.

"All the more reason!" Twilight protested. "We can't let this information leak out into the public! And I'm pretty sure it will if Orion doesn't learn how to control it."

"I propose to monitor the situation as it unfolds. There is also another thing." Celestia added and looked to her sister. "You think it as well, do you not?" Luna nodded back.

"We have told thee Orion is hiding something. And we do not mean just the chaos we now know is inside him." Luna's eyes squinted in a mix of anger and frustration. Today just confirmed that they need to hurry up with gathering information about Orion, lest they accidentaly unleash another evil upon Equestria.

"I don't think he's a bad pony." Fluttershy spoke and got everypony's attention. "He's just scared and confused. Orion doesn't know where he is-"

"But that is just what what worries me, young Fluttershy." Celestia's brows furrowed. "It may be true he doesn't know where he is, but I have my doubts that he remembers nothing about who he is."

"What makes you say that?" Rainbow joined into the conversation.

"Rainbow Dash, you don't rule for as long as I do without being able to read ponies." Celestia explained and leaned back. "His mannerisms, knowledge and way of speaking are strange for sure, but the fact that many aspect of pony physiology elude him is suspicious to say the least."

"Tis' true. We, err, I had to teach him how to walk ourselves." Luna added with a nod.

"But he's not all bad, right?" Fluttershy got back to defending her new friend. "I mean, you two seem much happier." Celesetia and Luna blinked at the butter colored pegasus.

"What makes you say that?" Celestia asked with a raised brow.

"I've noticed it too." Twilight took over the conversation. "I've known you the longest Princess and today was the first time I felt like you were genuinely laughing." Twilight then turned to Luna. "And even you, Princess Luna."

"We- err I mean... I?" she blushed slightly at her mishap.

"See what I mean? We've tried to teach you the modern way of talking for months and you basically ignored it. Along comes Orion and you made more progress than ever! And he called you Moonbutt and you actually laughed!" Twilight smiled widely. "Ooooh this is going to be the best friendship thesis ever written!"

"Twilight, you will not be writing your thesis based on our relationship with Orion." Celestia frowned.

"Awww! But I'm halfway done!" Twilight moaned as a stack of at least two hundred pages appeared at her side.

"How did thee even-" Luna's mouth hung wide open in shock. Best student indeed.

"Not important." Twilight sent the papers away before proceeding. "While it is true that the presence of chaos inside of Orion is concerning, so far he has shown no malicious intent, hay, it's the complete opposite!" Twilight then looked at the two princesses who shuffled in their seats. "He's had the most positive effect on the two of you! And if Fluttershy has taught us anything it's that chaos doesn't neccesarily need to be a bad thing."

"What do you suggest we do?" Celestia asked, her heart beaming with pride at her student.

"We keep playing his little game." Twilight began pacing back and forth. "Perhaps Orion has his reasons for hiding the truth from us. Maybe he's running from somepony or something. Maybe he just wants to live in peace. It's obvious he's not here to force you to marry him to take the throne." Twilight then stopped pacing and approached the two princessess with authority like any had ever seen in the young alicorn. "You two will tell him about the chaos magic and help him control it but first and foremost, be his friend." Twilight stared into her former mentor's eyes with and unflinching gaze.

"How did you become so wise, dear Twilight?" Celestia smiled and Twilight finally broke eye contact, rubbing her hooves sheepishly.

"I had a good teacher." she replied as Celestia lovingly nuzzled her.

"Then it is decided!" Luna got on her hooves. "We shall inform him of the chaos within and secretly uncover his schemes in the process!"

"There are no schemes Princess Luna." Twilight rolled her eyes. "Just somepony who needs our help. It's up to you to find out how."

"I couldn't have said it better myself." Celestia  said proudly. "Now go, my little ponies, it is quite late already. My sister and I will speak with Orion at once." the alicorn then once again nuzzled her student. "Thank you Twilight."

"Any time Princess." Twilight replied with a nuzzle of her own.

"Bring cake sister!" Luna hollered from the door before vanishing.

"I-" Celestia was stopped by Luna's sudden re-appearance.

"Nay! We shall bring it!" then her eyes narrowed. "It is not safe to leave it in your hooves."



Today was a good day. Like, really good day.

Orion met some new ponies, took a nice walk with Fluttershy and got a new guitar which he can actually play. He still doesn't understand how that works but right now he couldn't care less. Right now Orion was sitting on the bed and gazed lovingly at his new instrument.

"Oh sweet baby I've missed you." he said and hugged his precious guitar. "We're going to have so much fun tonight." running his right hoof over the open strings Orion found it to still be in tune. "Yeah, that's it. Give me that 440Hz." his eyes drifted towards the amp. "Sorry sweetie, you'll just be watching tonight." followed by blowing a kiss towards it.

"Are we interrupting?" Celestia asked innocently.

"GAAAAH!" the sisters sudden appearance behind his back made Orion jump out of his skin and fall on the floor.

"Oh do not mind us." Luna giggled.

"What in the name of ZZ Top's beards is wrong with you?" Orion jumped on his hooves before gasping in horror. "Jessica!" Orion scooped up his guitar and patted it gently. "I'm so sorry baby..."

"I can't even." Celestia said with wide eyes.

"Even I cannot." Luna looked slightly disturbed.

"Don't judge me!"  Orion barked before gently placing Jessica on the bed. "Haven't you two heard of knocking?" this seemed to snap the sisters out of their stupor.

"It's our home." Celestia said matter-of-factly.

"It's considered common decency! For all you knew I could have been-" Orion stopped himself at the last second.

"You could have been what?" Luna asked with a raised brow, making Orion roll his eyes.

"C'mon. We're all adults here." he gave Luna a pointed look. Orion could swear he saw the gears beginning to turn in the blue alicorn's head.

"Oh." Luna's eyes widened. "Oh! Ewww! Why would thee even say that?" the princess gagged.

"Anyway!" Celestia jumped in to steer the conversation in a PG rated direction. "We need to talk." her expression suddenly got serious and Orion gulped. "Sit." his backside thumped to the ground.

"Yes ma'am."

"Relax, you are not in trouble." Celestia's words made him breathe a sigh of relief.

"Yet." Luna shot him a glare.

"Can you tell me what this is about?" Orion tilted his head, not really sure what he did wrong.

"Orion." Celestia stood directly in front of him. Orion gulped once more as Celestia made him feel really small right now. "What do you remember about your little performance earlier?"

"Is that what this is about?" he looked at the guitar and smiled. "I remember rocking out. Kinda hoped I'd have the whole band join in. You know, like it does when you start randomly singing."

"You did not gain an entire ensamble because what you have played was not caused by the Music of Harmony." Luna explained and stood beside her sister. This was highschool all over again.

"Music of copyright infringment." Orion shrugged but the sisters pressed on.

"And how would you know that?" Celestia wondered to nopony in particular.

"Uhh..." Orion began fidgeting.

"Let us not forget the strange names you keep saying all the time. Who even is Dio?" Luna narrowed her eyes.

"He is a god." Orion replied in fleeting confidence as Luna's glare intensified.

"We have been patient with you Orion." Celestia continued with a serious tone. "We've been playing this amnesia game with you for the last couple of days but after tonight-"

"After what? Hearing some heavy metal and suddenly I'm on death row?" Orion finally gained the courage to stand up and the sisters took a step back. "Playing my little game! You think this is a game to me?" Orion's voice got louder. "You think I want to be here?" a flicker of red appeared on his horn, something the sisters noticed.

"Orion, calm down." Celestia said, her eyes glued to the ever growing red and black energy on Orion's horn.

"I will not calm down-" another spark. "-until you tell me-" three more. "-why am I being interrogated!"

ZAP

"GAH!" the bolt caught Orion by surprise and missed the two sisters by mere inches. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Orion followed the bolt as it bounced around the room.

"LUNA! QUICKLY!" Luna nodded at her sister's call and the two fired a blast of their own magic at the red and black bolt. When the three spells collided it caused a loud crack before they vanished into thin air. Celestia and Luna looked at each other to make sure they were fine before turning their seething gazes towards Orion. Gazes that quickly evaporated when they saw Orion was having a panic attack in a corner. Just like back at the hospital. The sisters quickly rushed to his side, now clearly convinced he had no idea what happened earlier. "Calm down Orion. All will be well." Celestia lowered her head and nuzzled his cheek to try and calm the stallion but to no avail. Orion's eyes were still glued to the spot where the magic explosion happened.

"We have gone overboard." Luna's gaze softened and she sat down to Orion's left. Her wing draped over a shaking Orion but it did nothing to calm his nerves. Celestia got on eye level and took his head between her hooves.

"Orion, please, you need to calm down." she gently stroked his cheeks as Orion's eyes slowly focused back on her. "Good, good. Everything will be alright." Orion nodded slowly. "This was not how this was supposed to go." she sighed deeply.

"H-how w-was it suppossed to go?" Orion stuttered out.

"It went... Poorly." Luna's ears drooped down.

"Ya think?" Orion scoffed and pulled his head back from Celestia. "What the hell happened? Was that red bolt my magic?"

"Yes, but..." Celestia responded before looking down.

"But what?" Orion pressed on. Celestia took a deep breath before speaking.

"Orion. We do not know where you come from. We do not know how exactly you ended up in Equestria. Whether or not you want to share your past with us-" Orion's eyes looking down were a dead giveaway that he remembered everything. "-is up to you. but there is one thing you need to know. Chaos magic is flowing through your body." this revelation made Orion blink a couple of times.

"What's chaos magic?"

"It's the opposite to the Magic of Harmony. Something that only Discord, the Lord of Chaos, has been known to possess." Luna explained it for him.

"What? No!" Orion jumped back up. "No, no, no! What is this Gary Stu bullshit?" his horn flickered again. "Is that what happened earlier? When I played guitar?"

"Yes and it will happen again if you do not control your emotions." Celestia looked up, which in turn caused Orion to do the same.

"Gah!" he shook his head furiously but the flicker still remained. "Turn it off!"

"We can't turn it off." Luna approached the stallion who was now blowing air up towards his horn. "And that is not helping."

"Calm yourself and focus." Celestia instructed. "Calm the chaos that is unfolding inside of you." Orion closed his eyes and tried to do just that.

"Calm the storm that-" then Celestia heard what was probably the most beautiful and deep baritone that ever caught her ears.

"And now, the end is near." Orion sung calmly, his voice much deeper than Ol' Blue Eyes's. "And so I face the final curtain." Luna was mesmerized by his singing and took an unconscious step forward."I'll state my case, of which I'm certain. I've lived a life that's full." the red glow was slowly dimming. "I traveled each and every highway." both Celestia and Luna were now mere inches from Orion. "And more, much more than this. I did it my way." taking a deep breath and letting it out, Orion finally opened his eyes. "Hey! It worked!" he flinched when he saw the two sisters so close to him. "Um, personal space?" Celestia blinked a few times before taking a step back.

"I apologize." she blushed sligthly. "I don't know what came over me."

"Umm, Luna?" Orion waved his hoof in front of the blue alicorn and try as he might, Orion couldn't figure out how he managed to snap his... Hoof.

"That was beautiful." Luna said in a daze before regaining her composure. "I mean, that could have ended badly! Yes! Hahaha!" in a manner similar to Fluttershy, Luna hid behind her mane.

"Thanks." Orion chuckled nervously. "Is there a way to control this?" Orion looked at his horn, wondering if breaking it off would hurt.

"There is. But we do not know how." Celestia answered.

"Great." Orion groaned and flopped down once again. "I can't just sing My way when things go south."

"However, there is somepony who can teach you." Orion's ears perked up at Celestia's words. "Whether or not it is a good idea remains to be seen."

"Who is it?" Orion asked in anticipation.

"Discord. The Lord of Chaos." Luna answered, finally over her embarrassment.

"Now that's just lazy writing." Orion deadpanned.

"But before that, we must know one thing." Celestia continued. "Are you, or were you ever a pony?" Orion looked down, shame apparent on his face.

"No."

"Then what are you?" Luna asked gently.

"I can't say." Orion walked away to towards the balcony. Once outside he sat down and just stared off into the distance. The sisters looked at each other and slowly made their way towards him. Sitting on each side of Orion they put one of their wings on his back.

"Why?" Celestia asked and Orion shook his head.

"Because I can't accept it yet." he replied somberly and the trio sat there in silence. This was enough excitement for one day. At least now their suspicions were confirmed but not completely cleared. They are still willing to give him the benefit of the doubt since Orion took his predicament pretty hard. He was in denial, that much was clear.

"You know what would cheer you up?" Luna chirped happily, making Orion look at her in amusement. "Cake!" then she looked for the cake behind her back, Orion did not question it, but the search came up empty. "What in the-" her mind coming to a quick conclusion, the night princess leaned forward, her head slowly turning to her blushing sister. Orion did just the same and smirked.

"Really? You ate my bribe cake?" Orion asked and made Celestia blush harder.

"It was not a bribe!" Celestia protested. "Luna thought it would help ease the tension-"

"You deviant." Luna said coldly.

"You have to understand! It was triple chocolate frenzy!"

"I understand you have a problem." Orion poked her belly. "Who's a fluffly princess?" he coeed like he was talking to a little filly. 

"I am not fluffy!" Celestia protested but was quickly assaulted by a tickle attack from Orion.

"Yes you are! Yes you are!" Orion continued with his merciless assault.

"Stop it!" Celestia cried with laughter as Luna shook her head in disappointment. Yes, this night would long be remembered by Canterlot. The night the Tickle Monster won.
> 11 - You've got a friend in me
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the Tickle Monster showed Celestia who's boss, the fiend retreated to it's chamber for some much needed rest. No matter his current situation, Orion had to admit he was getting really cozy inside the castle. Food, a warm bed and a roof over his head kinda' made Orion feel like a freeloader. Well, he technically was but he decided to change that soon. If nothing else it's to thank the sisters and prove he can carry his weight and take care of himself.

The only thing that bothered him about the castle was the pest problem.

"Orion." somepony poked his cheek. A certain dark alicorn pest. "Awaken." Luna poked him again but got no response from the sound asleep stallion. "Do not ignore me." still nothing. "Curses." Luna thought about her options and concluded that using the Royal Canterlot voice was not an option. She did the next best thing. "Oh my Stars. I dropped Jessica." she droned sarcastically.

"Huh? Who did the what?" Orion sprung up in his bed to see Luna smiling smugly with a bowl-sized cup of coffee levitating next to her. "Luna? What do you want?" he looked at the alarm clock next to his bed. "It's two o'clock in the morning!" Orion groaned and fell back on his pillow.

"Nay!" the covers were suddenly pulled off of him. "I have come to exact my revenge!"

"You're going to need to be more specific. You threaten me on a daily basis." Orion pulled the covers back on but they were promptly yanked back off again.

"Tis' for causing mine first coffee crash as you called it." Luna poked Orion's side and the stallion scooted away. "I was barely functional after that and a fitting punishment would be to make you experience exhaustion as I have."

"Don't you have Night Court or something?" Orion groaned as the princess relentlesly poked him with her hoof.

"I have left a decoy." Luna proclaimed and hoped the plush version of her would be enough to fool everypony that came looking for an audience. "Now hurry while the night is still young."

"Young?" Orion sat up in his bed. "The night is almost ready for it's final sacrament."

"Fine." Luna rolled her eyes. "Orion, I am bored out of my mind and would very much like for you to keep me company." Orion raised a brow. "Pwease?" Luna used the most devastating weapon pony-kind has to offer, puppy eyes and a quivering lip.

"That's not going to work." Orion scoffed. Luna's look intensified but Orion wouldn't budge. "Nu-uh, not happening." suddenly an anvil appeared over Orion's guitar. "So what are we doing this fine night?" he jumped out of bed and Luna smiled victoriuosly before releasing the anvil from her magical hold.

CLANG!

Luna felt her heart almost stop.

Orion's actually did stop.

Both slowly turned their heads towards the instrument.

"Oh thank the Stars." Luna sighed in relief upon seeing the guitar intact, the anvil landing a hair's width away from it. Orion's fiery gaze slowly settled back on her. "Now, where were we?"

"You were saying something about keeping you company." Orion said through gritted teeth as Luna laughed nervously.



Sleep eluded Celestia that night. It was quite an exciting day and the evenings final revelations was what kept the princess awake. Who was Orion really? Why and how did he end up in Equestria? Was she really getting fluffy?

So far Orion has been a good friend. He treated both her and Luna as equals, something that was very refreshing to the two sisters. Orion would not hesitate to call them out on something or say what he thinks. No fake smiles and empty words from him. He did lie to them but Celestia could see he was very troubled by his past. Whatever happened to him, Orion refused to talk about it right now and it was obvious he was in some kind of denial.

It was clear he wasn't an alicorn from birth and whatever caused him to change must have been traumatic. Like the doctor said, he is one hundred percent alicorn and not some cheap knock-off. Celestia didn't know of any magic that could change sompony so completely. Transformation spells were around but even they had their limits. No, this was caused by something much more powerful than Celestia could imagine.

Sighing deeply the solar princess turned in her bed once again. Orion wasn't a bad pony, that much was clear, but the fact he wielded chaos magic troubled her. His musical performance could have hurt somepony and things almost went south when she and Luna confronted him earlier. Orion would need to learn to control his magic quickly lest he hurts somepony on accident. She just hoped Discord would prove a good teacher.

"Horsefeathers." Celestia sat upright in her bed and blew away the stray strands of her pinkish mane which now lacked the colorful ethereal glow. Getting up from her bed she went out on the balcony to get some fresh air. Maybe it will clear her mind and help her sleep.

"LUNAAAAAAAA!" a gray blur plummeted down right in front of her, quickly followed by a dark blue one.

"I'M SORRY!"



A couple of minutes earlier...

"You sure this is a good idea?" Orion gulpled and looked down into the abyss.

"Of course. That's how Tia and I learned to fly." Luna said reassuringly as Orion's eyes went wide.

"No thank you." Orion slowly backed away from the edge of the tallest tower.

"You said you would keep me company." Luna said with the cutest pout possible.

"I didn't agree to learn how to fly!" Orion shot back. "I just learned how to walk properly." he was getting close to the door that lead inside the castle and back to safety. "I'm not doing this."

"I understand." Luna sniffled and Orion froze. Did he just make a girl cry? "It's just, I really like to fly and ever since my return Tia was always too busy to come fly with me like we used to and I just wanted somepony to fly with me but everypony was too afraid of me and, and, and-" yeap, she was on the verge of breaking down completely.

"Fine I'll do it!" Orion quickly hugged the sobbing princess. He couldn't stand to see a girl cry.

"Excellent!" Luna did a one-eighty which made Orion frown.

"Why you little-"

"Flying is easy! Come!" Luna trotted happily to the edge and spread her wings. "We'll do this together. Just do as I do."

"Maybe we should try it from a table first?" Orion asked sheepishly as he once again stared into the abyss and it stared back hard.

"Nonsense! I have full faith in thee!" Luna smacked Orion's back a little too hard and sent him falling over the edge. "Uh-oh."



Celestia wasted no time and dived right after Luna and Orion.

"HEEEEEEELP!" Orion screamed as his wings flapped about helplessly. Celestia's horn glowed and Orion felt himself slowing down. His hooves gently touched the grass and Orion fell down to his knees. "Oh sweet, sweet land!" Orion furiously kissed the solid ground which he almost decorated as a pancake.

"Orion!" Luna touched down between him and Celestia. "Art thee unharmed? We swear-"

"LUNA!" Celestia's voiced caused the younger alicorn's ears to drop in fear as she turned towards her sister. "What in the hay were you thinking?" Celestia was fuming. This little stunt could have cost Orion his life!

"We were-"

"No! You clearly weren't thinking!" Celestia stomped towards Luna and the midnight alicorn suddenly felt very small. "Teaching him to fly? In his condition? What is the matter with you?"

"Tia, please-"

"Don't you Tia please me! You could have killed him!" Luna backed away and tried to make herself as small as possible. Then Orion stepped between her and Celestia in an almost protective manner.

"Celestia, if I may-"

"You may not. This is between my sister and I." Celestia said sternly but Orion didn't budge.

"But I will anyway." his words surprised Luna, her heart beating just a bit faster. To be so bold as to defy Celestia face to face. "When was the last time you went flying with Luna?" the question took Celestia by surprise.

"What does that have to do with almost getting you killed?"

"Well, I didn't want to do it at first, sure, but it's what friends do." Celestia watched curiously. "Luna told me how you're always too busy to spend time with her so I stepped in." now Celestia's ears dropped as she recoiled slightly.

"I-"

"She also told me how ponies avoided her ever since she returned."

"That's-"

"And how lonely she was." Orion looked down at Luna who was looking at him in awe. "She just wanted somepony to come fly with her like you used to and I volunteered as tribute." Orion looked back at Luna. "You suck as a teacher, by the way." a small laugh escaped Luna.

"Luna." Celestia looked at her sister who slowly stood up, but still slightly hid behind Orion. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I did." Luna responded, a slight hitch in her voice. This pierced Celestia's heart more than anything in the last hundreds of years. "But you never listened." Luna moved forward. "I understand you are busy but... I just want my sister to spend some time with me." Luna choked up as did Celestia. "I miss our flights. I miss us brushing our manes before sleep. I miss my big sister." Luna nuzzled Celestia who was crying by now.

"I am so sorry, Lulu." Celestia nuzzled her back. "I thought you wanted some space to slowly readjust. Now I realize I was clearly wrong and I should have been there for you like a big sister is supposed to. I promise I will never make that mistake again." Celestia pulled back and looked at Orion who was smiling at the touching scene in front of him. "Thank you. For being a friend to Luna."

"Awww shucks! Don't mention it." Orion waved his hoof before wiping away an imaginary tear. "I'm also your friend in case you didn't know." Celestia smiled at those words. "So anytime you need somepony to share a cake with, you can count on me!"

"You know I don't share cake." Celestia chuckled and approached Orion. "You truly are a good friend." then she nuzzled his cheek affectionately.

"Indeed." Luna soon joined in and nuzzled his other cheek.

"Uhhh, thanks." Orion blushed a little before quickly pulling back. "Now off you go!" he shooed them off with his hooves. "You're long overdue for a flight across the sky." Luna looked to Celestia and smirked.

"Last one to Ponyville is a rotten egg!" and Luna shot off into the sky.

"Oh it's on!" Celestia followed quickly after, leaving Orion behind. He felt pride in himself as he watched one white and one blue streak making their way across the sky. Orion did a good thing and smiled in satisfaction.

"How the fuck do I get back to my room?"
> 12 - The trolley problem
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Storm Breaker was ready.

After being sent home, just before Twilight's arrival, the pegasus fell asleep before his head hit the pillow. It was the most rejuvenating rest he'd gotten in weeks. Maybe this whole personal guard gig won't be that bad and Orion doesn't seem like a bad pony. And who knows, if he does well at this new job maybe he'll even get a raise! Storm Breaker got an extra pep in in his step just by thinking about it. Storm was so lost in his thoughts he bumped into somepony and almost toppled them both over.

"Oh! My apologies!" it was a cream colored mare with brown mane. "I must've been lost in thought."

"No, no, the fault is mine. I was just daydreaming." Storm Breaker laughed sheepsihly. He then noticed a stack of sheets the mare was carrying on her back. "Let me help you as an apology, Miss?"

"Honey Comb." the mare replied. "And do not worry about it. I can carry a few sheets."

"Nice to meet you Honey Comb. I am Storm Breaker, Sir Orion's personal guard." he said proudly to which the mare's eyes widened.

"Really? I'm his personal maid!" the mare chirped happily.

"He never told me he had a maid assigned to him." Storm Breaker took half of the stack anyway and put them on his back. Honey just smiled and continued towards Orion's room.

"It was a sudden change. Princess Celestia re-assigned me two days ago. She hoofpicked me herself!" now it was Honey's turn to be proud. To be hoofpicked by the princess herself was a great honor and a testament to your skill. "And what about you?"

"I was forced into it by Sir Orion." Storm Breaker replied, making Honey Comb tilt her head. "What I mean is, Sir Orion realized I needed a break and asked me to join him and Princess Celestia for breakfast yesterday-"

"You had breakfast with Orion and Princess Celestia?" the maid said in shock, and a hint of envy.

"Yes." he then leaned closer to Honey Comb. "Sir Orion even shared his own breakfast with me."

"Nooooo." Honey recoiled in shock. To eat from the same plate as royalty was unheard of!

"He sure did! I mean, it was a donut but still."

"Orion is a strange pony." Honey laughed and turned right into a long hallway.

"He is certainly unorthodox for a prince."

"That's because he is not a prince." Honey corrected Storm Breaker who raised a curious brow. "At least, he assures me that he isn't. Which is good because then I can use the Princess Celestia card. Just the other day he said he didn't want a maid but I reminded him that since he is not a prince, Princess Celestia's order was absolute."

"Clever girl."

"That's what he said!" Honey Comb laughed at the response. "I think the two of you will get along just fine."

"I sure hope so." Storm sighed. "I really need this job and I'm afraid I'll mess it up somehow. What if I say something to Sir Orion that offends him and I get fired?"

"I seriously doubt that." Honey Comb laughed. "Just yesterday morning I told him to move his lazy flank out of bed so I can change his sheets." Storm Breaker blinked in surprise. "He replied with, and I quote, Look while you can, cuz' this ass is fire." Storm Breaker could not believe his ears. "Orion is a good pony. He doesn't view himself as royalty and certainly doesn't act like it. He's more like one of us, if you know what I mean."

"Yes, I see what you mean." Storm Breaker nodded in response. "He even treats Princess Celestia just like any other pony. It's strange but also refreshing. I haven't seen the Princess so relaxed in a long time."

"I know, right?" Honey giggled sweetly and Storm Breaker had to admit he liked the sound of it. "Even Princess Luna comes out of her room more often to hang out with Orion."

"I heard something about spitballs."

"Yes, Blueblood was real prissy about it." Honey chuckled.

"I also heard Sir Orion trips over his own hooves."

"He did, at first." Honey replied. "But it would seem Princess Luna took care of that problem." Storm Breaker then laughed.

"I just imagined Sir Orion tripping and colliding with Princess Luna."

"I shall bring down my wrath upon thee!" Honey Comb did her best to impersonate the princess's voice.

"Better that than your huge flank!" Storm Breaker did the same with Orion.

"Mine posterior is not huge! Tia's however has it's own gravitational pull." Honey tried so hard not to burst out laughing.

"What are we laughing about?" the two ponies froze in fear upon hearing Orion's voice behind them.

"I believe 'twas something about royal posteriors." their hearts almost burst from their small chests when Luna joined in. Turning around rapidly and dropping on their knees, the two begged for forgivness.

"We apologize, Your Majesties!" Storm Breaker's voice was a few octaves higher.

"For what? Getting caught?" Orion raised an unamused brow.

"We didn't mean anything by it!" Honey Comb chimed in.

"So mine posterior is not that huge?" Luna asked, a smirk tugging on her lips.

"Your posterior is of appropriate size, Your Behindness!" Storm Breaker almost died right on the spot and Orion did his best not to burst out laughing. "I sincerely apologize! It just slipped out!"

"A proper punishment is in order." Luna glared at the two cowering ponies. "Wouldn't you agree, Orion?"

"Yes, it certainly is, Your Behindness." Luna rolled her eyes and Orion was this close to a laughing fit.

"Umm, Princess, if I may?" Honey Comb raised her hoof like she was in school. A smiple nod from Luna told her she was good to go. "How did you sneak up on us? We didn't hear any hoofsteps." Orion and Luna looked at each other before lifting one of their hooves to show that they were wearing something on them and replied in unison.

"Bunny slippers."



As far as punishments went, this one wasn't so bad. Sure, it'll make them the target of jealous glares of everypony that hears about it but what can you do. The nobility will certainly throw a fit over it.

"Pass the syrup, please." Orion said to Storm Breaker who passed the condiment. Their punishment was to have breakfast together with Orion, Luna, Celestia, Twilight Sparkle and her friends. "Alright I'll bite." Orion said and poured syrup all over his pancakes. "What's wrong with her?" he then looked to Pinkie Pie and her depressed, mane deflated state.

"You didn't show up." Pinkie answered with a heavy sigh.

"For what? I didn't know I was supposed to be somewhere." Orion said defensively.

"Pinkie Pie threw you a surprise Welcome to Canterlot Party and you didn't show up." Twilight explained making Orion scrunch his brows in thought.

"I don't remember being invited to a surprise party."

"How can you be invited to your own surprise party?" Twilight rolled her eyes. "You're just supposed to show up!"

"How can I just show up if I don't know where the party is?" Orion asked flabergasted.

"Because! Because..." now Twilight was confused. Orion did have a point but everytime Pinkie threw a surprise party for somepony they just showed up. Every time. "Ummm, Pinkie?"

"Everypony always comes to their surprise party. It's always been like that." she said somberly, picking at her breakfast salad with a fork with zero interest in eating it. "Guess not anymore."

"Can somepony back me up? I feel like a bad guy over here." Orion looked around the table but everypony had the same thoughts in mind. Pinkie's parties were legendary and the pony whose party it was always showed up. Always.

"That is strange." Celestia tapped her chin in thought. "Why didn't you show up, Orion?"

"Because I was with you and Luna most of the day! And nopony told me anything about a dang party!" Orion threw his hooves up in frustration.

"It was more of a rhetorical question." Celestia stood up and walked to Orion. "It is a well established fact that everypony attends their surprise party no matter what." the princess inspected him with a scrutinizing gaze. "Hmm..."

"What? Is there something on my nose?" Orion went cross-eyed which made most of the ponies chuckle. Celestia then leaned close to his ear and whispered.

"I want you to lie to Applejack." she pulled away and was met with Orion's confused look. "Go ahead." she nodded towards the earth pony who pointed at herself with a questioning look. Orion looked between Celestia and AJ before concluding that Celestia had some sort of idea.

"I wet my bed until I was 18." he said with a straight face. Not even Rainbow Dash laughed since she realized something serious was going on.

"Well, Applejack?" Celestia asked the mare mare who looked distraught.

"He ain't lyin'. But why do I think he is?" Applejack then hardened her gaze. "What are you playin' at?"

"Of course I'm lying." Orion rolled his eyes. "What was the point of this?"

"Applejack is the Element of Honesty." Luna took over the explanation. "This makes her the perfect lie detector. If somepony is lying, she will most certainly know."

"Seriously?" Orion looked back at the earth pony who looked peeved that somepony lied to her face and she felt it was the truth.

"Quite. It is most ironical that Applejack cannot lie to save her life." Luna's brows scrunched in thought. "This is most troubling. Could this be because of the chaos magic within him?" before Celestia could reply, Applejack jumped in.

"No. Ah' can tell when Discord's lying." she looked Orion dead in the eyes. "C'mon buster. Hit me again."

"That stetson hat looks ridiculous on you and you should shred it in a woodchipper." gasps echoed around the table as all eyes were on Applejack, waiting for the mare to buck him in the face. The hat was a family heirloom and nopony insulted family.

"Umm, Applejack?" Fluttershy asked in concern as her friend's face began turing a fierce shade of red, her cheeks puffed and some veins popping on her forehead. "Are you alright?"

"He... Ain't. Lyin'!" she finally released the breath she'd been holding and color returned to her face. She took a few breaths before speaking. "Ah' know he's lyin' but my gut's telling me he ain't. And ah' know this hat looks good on me."

"It sure does, Ma'am." Orion mimicked AJ's accent and tipped his imaginary hat to the mare. "So, what have we learned?" he looked at Luna. "No seriously, I have no idea what just happened."

"It would appear you are, let's say, immune to some of the Elements of Harmony." Luna's voice took on a tone of concern. "Just like it is impossible to miss one of Pinkie Pie's parties, it is also impossible to lie to Applejack."

"Cool."

"Tis' most certainly not cool." Luna shook her head. "The Elements of Harmony are the only thing that could stand against chaos, and if you are immune to two of them..."

"That means you can't use your overpowered beam of McGuffin to vaporize me if my magic goes haywire." Orion finished for the princess. The Solar princess approached him and put a hoof on his shoulder in comfort.

"Orion, please understand-" Celestia began but was stopped by Orion's raised hoof.

"No, no, I get it." Orion shook his head. "You need to keep me from exploding and hurting thousands. It's like that trolley problem."

"What trolley problem?" Twilight tilted her head curiously.

"The one where you have to choose to either kill one pony so you can save four, or do you let the trolley run over four ponies to save just one." Orion patted himself mentally for flawlessly using pony words.

"That sounds horrible!" Twilight recoiled in shock while others nodded furiously in agreement. Everypony besides Celestia and Luna.

"That's why I said it's a problem. It's a thought experiment but it fits perfectly." Orion looked to Celestia. "You either get rid of me or thousands could die." his gaze then shifted to Luna. "But can you make that call?" the room suddenly got quiet as Orion's words sunk in.

"We can always find another way." Twilight said adamantly. "A better way."

"That's not the- you know what? Forget it." Orion went back to his pancakes. "It's too early for moral and ethical debates."

"I'm free around three." Celestia's offer made Orion chuckle.

"Sorry, I have a surprise party to be at." Pinkie's eyes flicked towards Orion. "I believe it's at the exact same location as yesterday at the exact same time. It said so on the note that somepony-" he pointed directly at Pinkie Pie whose mane pooffed back into it's fluffy form"-left on my bed."

"I just remembered I had something important to do! Bye!" and just like yesterday, Pinkie disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"That was very nice of you." Fluttershy smiled at Orion who merely shrugged.

"What can I say. I like parties." he then stabbed his syrup covered pancake with a bit more force than intended. "Besides, I still think this is all some crazy dream so you don't have to worry about me going nuclear."

"I assure you, Equestria and all of us here are very real." Celestia said calmly.

"We'll see." Orion shrugged and took a bite of his pancake.

"Textbook denial." Twilight said to her mentor who nodded in confirmation.

"I'm telling you." Orion said after swallowing his pancake. "Soon I will wake up and continue right where I... Left... Off..." realization suddenly dawned on him. "Oh my God. I'm in purgatory."

"Where?" Luna's confused look was mimicked by the others.

"It's one of the places you go to after you die." Orion's answer brought down a heavy atmosphere to the room. Ponies looked among themselves and tried to process what Orion just said. 

"Orion." Celestia's voice made him turn his head towards her. "Do you think you... Died?" she barely finished the question as Orion's answer might reveal another bombshell tied to his mysterious appearance in Equestria or even his past. Orion looked at Celestia, his ears flat on his head and a look of terrifying uncertainty across his features.

"I don't know."
> 13 - More than a feeling
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Orion finally got that tour of the castle he asked about. If Luna had forgotten about him last night the staff would probably have found him sleeping in some maid locker. Not that he slept after Luna and Celestia returned. The Sun Princess bid them good night and actually thanked Orion for what he said. She also addmited it would have been better if he slapped her. Would've hurt less...

So instead of sleeping, Orion attended Night Court and found out the decoy Luna left was 100 percent successful. Nopony noticed the real Luna was long gone and after taking her place back on her throne even then nopony noticed. Praises were sung to the Mistress of Dreams for being such a good listener. Hay, Lucky Star and Crimson Chin worked out their marital differences and were happier than ever!

Once Night Court was finished, Luna and Orion had walked around aimlessly and with no particular goal in mind. So long was the walk that Luna almost forgot to lower the moon. After a couple of eclipse jabs from Orion, Luna thought it would be funny to try and steal Celestia's bunny slippers. Orion just went along and didn't question it since Celestia had like 20 pairs of them. Luna justified their actions as revenge for Celestia borrowing, and never returning, her favorite brush.

Then along came breakfast and thoughts nopony expected. Orion also had a mini existential crisis. Was he really dead and was Equestria some sort of weird purgatory? He really could not remember what happened at the exact moment of his, let's call it transformation. It's like the memory was being repressed to hide a traumatic experience. Last thing Orion remembers is that he was watching TV and having a beer and then he suddenly woke up in some weird forest in a strange pony body.

When Celestia asked that fateful question, Orion was completely honest. He did not know.

Which now brings us back to that tour of the castle that Storm Breaker promised.

"And that concludes our tour of the castle, Sir Orion." Storm Breaker stopped in front of Orion's room and saluted. "And once again I would like to apologize for my behavior earlier this morning. I can assure you it won't happen again." Storm Breaker waited for a response but Orion was just staring off into the distance. "Sir?"

"What?" Orion returned back to Equestria and looked at his guard quizically. "Sorry. I was just thinking..." he then noticed the door to his room. "When did we get here?" Storm Breaker's eye began twitching.

"Sir, I just gave you a most thorough tour of the castle."

"Why thank you." Orion smiled cheekily.

"And you're telling me you were not paying attention?" the tour was two hours long. Storm Breaker made sure to show Orion every nook and cranny, every hallway, shortcut and room so there would be no chance of Orion getting lost ever again.

"I'm sorry." Orion sighed. "It's just..." he looked at his guard and nodded to the helmet. "Can you take the helmet off? I... I need to talk to a friend of mine." Storm Breaker jerked back in surprise. Did Orion consider him a friend already? He saw that Orion was deeply troubled by something and as his new friend Storm Breaker was ready to help.

"Sir." Storm breaker took the helmet off. "I mean Orion, it would be my pleasure." Orion smiled in appreciation and lead Storm Breaker into his room. Sitting on his bed, Orion tilted his head from side to side in thought. "So? What's wrong?"

"What do you think about all this? My situation?" Orion asked once his head stopped moving.

"I think you almost gave me an existential crisis. Why would you think we're not real?"

"Because where I come from you don't exist. Equestria doesn't exist, no talking ponies or dragons, no supernatural beings or magic. It's just... Us." Orion finished somberly.

"Alicorns?"

"No, I'm-" Orion stopped before he said something he wasn't ready to accept yet. "Look, point is I wasn't always an alicorn. Or a pony for that matter."

"What?" Storm Breaker tilted his head to the side.

"I was transformed into an alicorn when I landed in Equestria." Orion addmited and Storm Breaker just blinked in surprise. "I don't know how that happened so don't ask." Orion then fell to his back on the bed, his wings spread out to avoid damage. "It's all so weird that I actually think I might've died and this is some strange purgatory."

"You make it sound like a bad thing." Storm Breaker walked up to the bed and sat on the edge, his hind legs dangling lazily off it. "Even if this was the afterlife, is it really that bad?"

"I imagined it differently." Orion sighed. "And ponies? Don't get me wrong I think all of you are cute as heck but this is not how the afterlife is supposed to look like for my kind."

"And how would you know? Have you died before?" Storm Breaker could hear the vinyl scratch from Orion's brain.

"Fair point." Orion replied and rubbed his temples. "I'm having trouble accepting this and I've been here for like a month."

"Maybe that's your problem."

"What do you mean?" Orion raised his head a little.

"You're trying to accept things as they are instead of enjoying them for what they are." Orion riased a curious brow. "I mean, you live in Canterlot castle and the princessess are practically your best friends. Equestria is a peaceful nation that offers so much and you've seen so little of it." Orion sat up and was next to Storm Breaker. "Maybe instead of trying to figure this out you should just go with it." Orion's brows furrowed in thought. "If there is some grand scheme behind this it'll unfurl eventually. That's how all of those novels go-" Storm Breaker suddenly stopped himself when Orion grinned.

"You read isekai?" the alicorn asked and Storm Breaker quickly deduced it was Orion's name for novels where characters suddenly get transfered to another world.

"I quite enjoy them, yes."

"Dude!" Orion jumped off the bed and trotted in place happily. "I'm getting you Rise of the shield hero first chance I get!"

"Ummm, okay?" Storm Breaker then laughed. "When you think about it, it's kinda funny."

"What is?"

"Aren't you in your own isekai right now?" Orion's eyes suddenly went wide and his ears flopped on his head.

"Nanda kore wa?"



Celestia wasn't paying attention.

"Orion can't afford to pay attention." Celestia said quitely to herself with a smile once she realized that she, in fact, wasn't paying any attention to the pony that was adressing her. Something about Hay's chips being honest with their customers and not scamming them. Celestia's mind was currently preoccupied with Orion and all the mysteries behind him.

The greatest mystery was how could something transform somepony so completely that it would make them a true alicorn. Orion said he remebered hitting a tree made of crystal but that was about it. Could the Tree of Harmony truly be capable of something like that? But it still didn't make sense that the Tree of Harmony effectively created sompony capable of using chaos magic. Maybe the change was only physical and the chaos was already present within Orion? But what kind of creature has natural chaos magic besides Discord? Orion confessed he remembered his life before Equestria but still refused to reveal what he was before becoming an alicorn.

"The claims our chips are stale the moment they leave the factory is simply outrageous!"

"Your flank is outrageous." Celestia mumbled to herself, trying to imitate Orion's voice and it made her smile. Orion made her smile. It has been centuries since she felt that way around sompony. A true friend that treated her as an equal and didn't hold his tongue around her. Orion would speak his mind and even joke to an extent nopony would dare. Hay, he even tickled her to tears last night while calling her a fluffy princess.

His effect on Luna was also apparent. The dark alicorn has become more outgoing and talkative and it was thanks to Orion. The two spent much time together and even engaged in some mischief but the fact was that Luna made a friend. Her younger sister never had many friends, not even before her banishment. Luna would spend much of her time alone in Night Court and sleep during the day which was not a good way to make friends. She was also not as warm and welcoming as Celestia which made her hard to approach. But somehow Orion just trotted in and it was like the walls Luna build around herself were never there.

"Princess? Are you listening?" Serifa whispered to the solar alicorn.

"Nope." Celestia whispered back making Serifa sigh.

"Should I arrange an emergency escape?"

"I would be very thankful." Celestia smiled in appreciation.

"Ummm, excuse me, Sir Pringles?" Serifa addressed the pony who was defending his company, saying that Hay's chips is better than Doeritoes in every way. "Something urgent has come up and I'm afraid we'll have to ask you to attend Day Court tomorrow." the pony tchd and simply walked away without even bowing or saying goodbye. Not that Celestia cared, right now she just wanted to see Orion.

The Princess did a double take. Why did she want to see Orion? Why as a friend of course! Maybe share a joke or two, talk about that moral dillemma, attend his surprise party, perhaps grab dinner after that and maybe a goodbye kiss-

"Princess? Are you alright? You're looking a little red." Serifa asked when Celestia's cheeks tinted a little.

"What? Me? Haha! No! I'm fine! Not thinking about kissing anypony! Nope!" Celestia laughed awkwardly and stood up. "Let's get some cake! I could really use some cake!" she then briskly walked away from her throne and made her way to the kitchen. She did not have a crush on Orion, nuh-uh! The mind sometimes just wanders into strange territory. Orion was just a good friend and nothing more!

"What the hay?" Serifa asked and Sir Pringles suddenly appeared again.

"And another thing! Everytime somepony says hay we demand to be paid royalties as Hay's chips is a registered trademark and-" Serifa stopped listening the moment the stallion appeared before her eyes. Something was bothering her princess and she was going to find out what.



Princess Luna couldn't sleep yet again.

"Curses upon Orion and his coffee!" Luna growls and takes a big chug of the caffeine drink from her oversized cup. "I shall fill thine dreams with-" she suddenly stopped when a thought hit her. She never dreamwalked into Orion's dream. What did he even dream of? Did he dream of his past life? If so, maybe that's how she could find out what Orion was before becoming an alicorn. That information could greatly help them to unraveling the mystery of his arrival.

As soon as the thought appeared, Luna furiously shook it away. You don't invade your friends privacy.

"Friend..." Luna smiled at the thought. She hasn't had a friend in over a thousand years. Literally. There were some she could consider friends from before her banishment but they were long gone. Even after her return, Luna had trouble finding friends because she was having a hard time adapting to this new Equestria. The fact most ponies still feared her because of Nightmare Moon also didn't help. But Orion didn't care. She told him everything last night before the heist of the bunny slippers. He said that sometimes bad things happen to good ponies and it sucks but that he won't treat her differently because of that. His proof came when he asked if her butt got bigger as Nightmare Moon. Luna felt like she could talk to him about anything. If only Orion felt the same.

She understood that he wanted to keep some of his past to himself, whatever the reason may be, but Luna was ready to help. She felt a connection to him and felt they were in almost the same situation, finding themselves in a world that was not their own. Sure, Luna was from Equestria but this was not the same one she left all those centuries ago. Orion on the other hoof was a complete stranger to Equestria and needed somepony to guide him through it. They filled the gaps in each others knowledge. Luna taught him about ponies and Equestria, Orion taught Luna about modern speech and normal behavior. Apparently it was not okay to threaten somepony with the gallows as a joke.

In a world that she didn't understand and didn't understand her, Orion was a bridge that was slowly helping her find her place again as a princess of Equestria and as a pony. His presence made Luna's progress greater in the couple of days he's been spending time with her then all of her months since her return. Luna thought it would be appropriate to thank him for his kindness and friendship. Perhaps a nice dinner date would be-

"Date?" her train of thought came to a screeching stop before backtracking and taking a different turn. "Not a date. Perhaps more of a..." how do you call a dinner with a friend in whom you have no romantic interest but still hope for a kiss goodnight- "No! Absolutely not!" Luna shook her head furiously. "You are an adult and thou shall not act like a filly with a crush on a handsome, blue-eyed-" Luna facehoofed as her cheeks turned a shade darker. "Horsefeathers." she shook her head to clear it of all improper thoughts and git out of bed. "I must see Orion immediately." Luna stomped to her door. "And I will confirm I have no romantic interest in-" she opened the door. "Tia?" she blinked in surprise once she saw her sister at the door, her hoof up and just about to knock.

"Well, I am sorry I am not good enough for you." Celestia huffed and held her nose up. Luna rolled her eyes at her sisters antics.

"Thou hast been with Orion too much, dear sister."

"I could say the same about you." Celestia giggled and nuzzled her sister. "Speaking of, where is he?"

"I do not know." Luna replied and walked past Celestia. "Mayhaps you wish to join me on my search? I have some things to discuss with him." Celestia followed.

"Such as?" Luna's cheeks tinted a little which didn't go unnoticed by Celestia.

"Tis' none of thine business." Luna huffed. "And why are you looking for him?" now it was Celestia's turn to blush.

"I am not at liberty to discuss that information."

They continued their walk towards the place that was hosting Orion's surprise party. It was a quiet little cafe at the western part of Canterlot. The two sisters managed to escape the castle without the guards noticing, something that both of them remembered for later, and were a couple of hooves away from the entrance when they heard a loud rumbling.

"What is that?" Luna wondered before panicking. "TIA WATCH OUT!"" the door suddenly expanded like something big was trying to get out.

"I'M A GOOFY GOOBER!"

The two sisters stood no chance as the door burst open and a raging torrent of peanuts swept them away like a river accompanied by rock music. Celestia and Luna were tossed around in the peanut river while trying to get on top.

"Luna! Where are you?" Celestia cried out and her sister emerged from the heap.

"What madness is this?" Luna yelled out when suddenly Orion surfed past them on a table with his horn glowing red and black and Pinkie Pie laughing like crazy.

"You're a goofy goober!" Orion pointed to Celestia.

"ROCK!" Pinkie shouted with her hoof up. 

"ORION!" both sisters called out but it was too late, Orion was already gone. Then Storm Breaker swept past them with a swollen and red face.

"I'M ALLERGIC BUT THIS IS AWESOME!"
> 14 - That escalated quickly
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Orion felt like he was in high-school again. The scene was all too familiar from his younger days. Orion in a chair and an angry principal going on and on about what he had done. The difference now was that Orion was a pony and there as an all-powerful princess acting as the principal and the Elements of Harmony were innocent bystanders.

"Ten thousand bits in property damage!" Celestia proclaimed while pacing in a circle. "The cafe completely ruined!"

"In my defense-" Orion got cut short.

"Canterlot is filled with millions of peanuts!" Celestia stomped her hoof.

"I hear you, too bad it wasn't cake." Orion chuckled but quickly paled when Celestia got so close in his face their noses touched. "Does this mean we're married now?"

"This is not funny." Celestia said with a tone that sent a shiver down Orion's spine. "You were out of control." Celestia retreated only for Luna to take her place. Orion noted how Luna's muzzle was softer.

"Storm Breaker could have died. He recieved five doses of equineighphrine." Orion decided that laughing right now was not a good idea.

"He's fine." was Orion's only response.

"Fine?" Luna reared back. "His head looks like a gourd! Not to mention his medical insurance barely covered the treatment."

"That's kinda' on you." the death glare the sisters sent him was the final warning. "Shutting up now."

"Do you know how long it will take us to clean up this mess?" Celestia asked and Orion shook his head. "Neither do we!" Orion tilted his head in confusion.

"Let me explain." Luna chimed in. "Our magic is not able to remove the peanuts from Canterlot. For whatever reason, the spell simply bounces back. There was no trouble with Discord's antics but it would appear your chaos is... Superior." Orion did not like the way Luna said that last word.

"Can't you just use it to make peanutbutter or something?" Orion asked and got an answer from Celestia.

"No. We cracked one open and two more took it's place."

"Hail Hydra."

"STOP MUMBLING!" Luna roared and Orion scurried backwards. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF THE CHAOS YOU CAUSED?"

"I'm sorry, okay?" Orion decided to stand his ground and got up. "It just happened! It's not like I wanted to surf on a wave of peanuts!"

"That is excatly the problem." Celestia stood next to Luna. "You cannot control this. Today it's peanuts, tomorrow it could be raining axes."

"So you do think I'm a loose canon!" Orion stomped his hoof in anger. "So what now? Are you going to imprison me for eternity? Or I don't know, blast me into oblivion with your friendship railgun?" when no immediate answer came Orion's ears fell flat. "I knew it."

"We're not going to-" Celestia began but Orion held a hoof up.

"No, no. It's fine. Put an end to this nightmare." Luna flinched at the last word.

"Who do you think we are?" Celestia asked in shock. "We don't just blast ponies because they messed up." Orion's glare was enough to let Celestia know what he wanted to say but held his tongue notheless.

"Orion." Luna stepped forward. "We are not trying to punish you. We are worried something worse may happen and-"

"We decided to send you to Ponyville with Twilight." all eyes fell on Celestia after her statement. "Discord will teach you to control your magic so we can prevent further disasters."

"Oh really? So the puppy bit you one time and you're sending him to be trained instead of dealing with it yourself?" Orion growled. "You know what? Fine! I'll go to fucking Ponyville and fix this mess but don't expect me to stay afterwards!"

"Orion-" Luna began but was cut short.

"No! You're treating me like a criminal and you know damn well I don't know how to control this!" Orion ponted to his horn. "You think I wanted to flood Canterlot? You think I wanted my friend in the hospital?"

"That still doesn't excuse-" Celestia tried to explain but Orion would not allow it.

"But it excuses you, doesn't it?" Orion shifted his glare to the solar alicorn. "I've heard the stories, ponies talk. Things go sideways and you send the problem to Ponyville like it's some cure-all for everything. Let somepony else deal with a problem and you get to stay a great princess. Guess it's better than the moon." everypony gasped at the final statement.

"Have care how you speak." Celestia said cold as ice.

"Or what? I'm not one of your loyal subjects! I'm stranded here, don't you get that?" Orion shot back. "There's nothing for me here! I never asked to be a goddamned pony with some bullshit chaos magic! I just want to go home!" Orion turned his back to the sisters, not a least bit intimidated by Celestia's slowly burning mane. "I thought you were my friends. Guess I was wrong." he then slowly walked to the exit. "Don't worry, I'll fix this crap and you'll never see me again."

"Orion, wait." Luna went after him and out her hoof on his shoulder which Orion promptly shook off.

"I'm done with waiting. Thanks for everything." and with that Orion left the office.

"The audacity!" Celestia stomped her hoof in anger. "After everything we've done this is how he acts?"

"He's got a point." Twilight spoke up and Celestia glared at her former student.

"Excuse me?" to everypony's surprise, Twilight remained firm.

"I also think you overreacted." Twilight looked Celestia dead in the eyes. "I can name a dozen examples where this kind of reaction was needed but you didn't act on it."

"This is different!"

"How?" Twilight pressed on. "Discord basically got a slap on the hoof when he turned your guards into foals for a day. This was an accident. Sure, it could have been worse but luckily nothing serious happened-"

"Storm Breaker is in the ICU!" Celestia pointed in the general direction of the medical wing.

"It was his idea!" Twilight's revelation left Celestia confused.

"What?"

"I was there, as were my friends." Twilight looked to sid frineds who nodded in unison. "Storm Breaker said how it would be cool to surf and one thing lead to another. I'm not saying it's Storm Breakers fault but it seems Orion subconsciously summoned a wave, made out of peanuts for some reason, to make his friend happy. Orion also didn't know that Storm Breaker was allergic."

"Yeah!" Pinkie spoke up. "It was an honest mistake! Orion is a good pony and you yelling at him does not help!"

"I-I agree." Fluttershy stepped forward. "Orion didn't mean to cause chaos, it just happened. Discord does it sometimes too."

"Exactly!" Rainbow Dash basically flew in Celestia's face. "Orion's buck up made for the best party in Canterlot!"

"A little rough around the edges-" Rarity began. "-but a gentlestallion indeed."

"Ah' think he's alright. Said something about growin' up on a farm and nopony bad grows up on a farm." Applejack said firmly and tipped her hat. "Don' mean to be disrespectful but ah' think you overreacted."

"And I think it's not your place to judge my decision." Celestia replied, even though inside she questioned her actions.

"They are right." Luna, who hadn't moved from her spot, slowly turned around. "We made a dragon out of a fly."

"You too, Luna?" Celestia looked at her sister in disbelief. "Did you not see how disrespectful he was?"

"Is that not the reason we enjoy his company?" Luna retorted. "Orion is not afraid to stand up to us when we are wrong. Did he not criticize your behavior not long ago?" Celestia looked down in shame. "Orion is true to himself, wether we like it or not. If you ask me that's a welcome change in this castle. I'm tired of ponies tip-hoofing around us and complying with our every whim."

"I'm trying to protect him." Celestia said quietly.

"Him or us?" Luna walked to her sister. "We need to apologize. This is not how friends treat each other." she nuzzled Celestia who sighed sadly. "I do not wish to lose a friend, Tia. And neither do you."



Orion stomped angrily through the castle, desperately trying to find his room.

"Should've paid attention to Storm Breaker." he muttered under his breath. Turning a corner Orion groaned when he realized he passed a particular statue already. "Dammit." Orion leaned on a wall and slid down into a sitting position. "I didn't want this." he groaned and rubbed his eyes in frustration. "I didn't want any of this." Orion sighed deeply. He had to get away...



"Come sister." Luna urged Celestia who followed closely behind. "He couldn't have gotten far."

"This is not how I envisioned this conversation to go."

"You truly thought Orion would take this sitting down?" Luna stopped in her tracks. "Even I should have known better and yet I still used the Royal voice on him. He needs to learn to control his magic, that much is true, but it still doesn't make what we did right." Celestia looked to the side.

"I know. I just..." Celestia couldn't find the words.

"You enjoy having him around, am I correct?" Luna smiled and her sister nodded. "As do I."

"I fear he might hurt himself. What if axes really do start raining from the heavens?" Celestia shut her eyes and tried to shake off the mental image.

"Then Orion will conjure a gigantic dome of jelly to bounce the axes away." Luna's solution got a chuckle out of Celestia. "Accidents happen and sometimes bad things happen to good ponies. I should know."

"Luna-"

"Orion is our friend, a true friend, something we don't have a luxury of." Luna nuzzled her sister. "Mayhaps something more..." Celestia suddenly pulled back.

"What?"

"N-nothing!" Luna defended herself but the tinted cheeks gave her away.

"Lulu." Celestia looked at her bashful sister. "Do you have feelings for Orion?"

"No! I don't know!" Luna took a few steps back. "Tis' true I enjoy his company but romantic-"

"Oh my Sun! That's what you meant earlier when I was at your door!" Celestia was in shock, not a bad one, just surprised.

"I said it was noth-" Luna suddenly stopped and pointed an accusing hoof at Celestia. "So do YOU!"

"Do not!"

"I am not at liberty to discuss that information said she with a blush!" Luna did a spot-on impression of her sister who was blushing slightly.

"Fine. I admit I entertained the idea of a date with Orion. But only for a moment!" Celestia defended but Luna wasn't buying it.

"I knew it!" Luna said triumphantly. "That's why you got so angry! This is personal for you!"

"And for you it's not?"

"Of course it is! He's a cherished friend!" Luna said adamantly. "My feelings towards him were fleeting just as yours!"

"Doesn't look that way to me." a third voice said.

"GAH!" the sisters jumped when Honey Comb suddenly appeared.

"I apologize. I was going to visit Storm Breaker and overheard your conversation." Honey bowed as the two sisters looked at each other in uncertainty. After a short pause Celestia spoke.

"And?"

"And what?" Honey raised her head.

"What dost thou think?" Luna asked and Honey Comb felt like she was put on the stand with the two sisters looming over.

"Um..." Honey knew that look from school. Two mares wanting to know which of them the stallion fancies. "I think that..."

"Yes?" the duo didn't realize what they were doing as they loomed even more.

"I think you do have a crush on Orion which is completely understandable." Luna and Celestia slowly retreated with relaization dawning in their minds. "I mean, you do spend a lot of time together and look much happier, especially you, Princess Luna." Honey then regained her full composure. "It was bound to happen if you ask me. Besides, you wouldn't react the way you did if you didn't care about him." the sisters looked at Honey with a quizzical look. "The entire castle heard you, but that's beside the point. What matters now is that the three of you apologize to each other and hug it out." Honey bowed curtly. "But that's just an opinion of a humble maid. I wish you a wonderful day." and with that short piece of wisdom, Honey made her way towards the medical wing.

"Could it be true?" Luna looked at her sister.

"I mean..." Celestia was at a loss for words.

"Is it because Orion is an alicorn?"

"Of course not!" Celestia did however think Orion being an alicorn did help them meet.

"We have been alone for a long time sister." Luna's brows scrunched in thought. "We are not used to ponies treating us like Orion. Are our feelings in a storm because of it?"

"I don't know Lulu." Celestia was questioning it herself. Are they developing feelings for Orion because he is the first pony to treat them equally and as a friend?

"Hello?" the sisters were once again startled when they heard a voice. Orion's voice.

"Orion?" Luna tried to find the source of the voice but Orion was nowhere.

"Over here!" Celestie turned towards her right and looked at a painting before trying to supress a laugh.

"Are you in a wall?" Celestia asked and removed the picture from the wall. Just as she suspected, Orion tumbled out from behind the painting which concealed a tunnel.

"Oh thank God!" Orion jumped to his hooves. "I thought I was gonna' stay in there forever!"

"How did you even end up in there?" Luna asked and used her wings to clear some dust from Orion.

"I thought I found one of the shortcuts Storm Breaker told me about." Orion shook his head to get rid of the cobwebs from his mane.

"H-how much did you hear?" Luna asked with lowered ears.

"Hear what?" Orion looked at the lunar princess who sighed in relief. "Look..."

"I want to apologize." all three said in unison and looked at each other before chuckling.

"I'm sorry for what I said." Orion took the lead. "It was rude and... You don't treat friends like that." Orion sighed before continuing. "You two helped me out a lot and you didn't deserve that. You took me in and went along with my story, which is a little concerning when you think about it, and offered me your hospitality." the sisters smiled softly at Orion. "So, I'm sorry for being a dick."

"Apology accepted." Luna chimed in. "We would also like to apologize for the way we treated you."

"Yes, you did not deserve to be yelled at for something you had no control over." Celestia added.

"But you're right, no?" Orion added. "I got lucky this time but if one day axes rain down from the sky? I mean, I would probably make a giant jelly shield but-" Orion stopped when the sisters giggled. "What?"

"Oh nothing." Luna said. "We really do spend a lot of time together, don't we sister?"

"True." Celestia confirmed. "I do like our time together. I hope you will return to Canterlot after your training, puppy." Celestia winked at Orion who smiled.

"Well, there is a lot of cake this puppy needs to guard from you." Orion shot back.

"You shall need reinforcements." Luna nudged Orion.

"Oh please, you just like me for my coffee." Orion teased.

"Not just coffee." her blush went unnoticed by Orion but not by Celestia.

"Then how about a dat- I mean, dinner?" Celestia suddenly piped up and Luna's eyes went wide.

"Yeah, I could go for dinner!" Orion said happily. "So, what are we having?" Celestia was about to reply when Luna suddenly jumped forward and touched noses with Celestia.

"If you say me, I shall smite you." Luna hissed.

"It is on sister." Celestia hissed back.

"Ummm, what's going on?" Orion was really confused about the situation.

"Nothing!" both mares smiled widely like everything was fine.

"Oooookay..." Orion raised a curious brow. "I Suggest you two lead the way, lest I end up in a sewer or something."

"And emerge in Manehatten." Luna added with a chuckle.

"Seriously?" Orion rolled his eyes and the trio walked side by side towards the kitchen. "What's next, Baltimare?"

"Hmmm, Baltimare is too far." Celestia hummed thoughtfully.

"I was joking." Orion deadpanned.

"Stalliongrad perhaps?" Luna asked and it made Orion almost facehoof.

"It's a cold city so I wouldn't recommend it." Celestia replied. "Fillydelphia is nice though."

"What's next? Buckingham palace?" Orion quipped but it got a confused look from the sisters.

"Buckingham?" Celestia asked with a raised brow.

"Why would somepony name a palace after the act of copulation?" Luna asked in disbelief.

"I should have stayed in the wall." Orion groaned making the two sisters giggle.

So they walked to the kitchen, naming towns, regions and cities in Equestria while Orion tried not to cringe at every pony pun that came his way. The important thing is they made up and remained friends, promising to visit each other while Orion was in Ponyville. Things were back to normal it seemed. If their happily swishing tails were anything to go by, it would only get better from here.
> 15 - All aboard!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was the morning of the next day and Orion was soon leaving for Ponyville to meet this God of Chaos and learn to control his magic. He wondered what the guy was like. Was he a Joker or a Sheogorath? Maybe a Jerry Seinfeld type? All these serious questions rattled his mind but before that, there was one important thing left to do.

"Hey, Celestia?" he called the solar alicorn while poking his morning salad with a fork.

"Mmpf?" Celestia looked at him with a mouth full of cake.

"Swallow, don't spit." Orion said with a deadpan look which earned a snicker from Luna. "Can you show me to the medical wing? I wanna' see how Storm Breaker is doing. Last time I saw him he was Free Willying it in peanuts." Celestia was looking at Orion, her cheeks puffed out and full of cake, and briefly nodded before swallowing.

"Gladly." Celestia smiled and got up from the cushion she was sitting on. Poor cushion... "Don't even." Celestia shot Orion a look.

"What? I didn't say anything!" Orion defended but his eyes were constantly darting towards the cushion.

"I believe Orion wanted to say that poor cushion has met it's maker." Luna then pulled up the paper thin cushion. "Which is apparently Indoneighsia." Orion sputtered at the country name.

"Are you sure it's not Neighpon?" he asked through stiffled laughter.

"No." Luna looked at him quizically. "Neighpon is know for their maneha and-" Orion burst out laughing which only made Luna glare daggers in his direction.

"He is teasing you, Luna." Celestia rolled her eyes and smacked Orion with her wing.

"Harrasement! You saw it!" Orion pointed jokingly to Luna who was not amused by Orion's antics. "Oh come on!"

"Thou shall experience nightmares beyond your wildest imagination." Luna said with narrowed eyes. "Let us make haste. Thine train leaves soon and we wouldn't want you to miss it." Luna walked past Orion, making sure to bump her rump against his playfully. The gray stallion chuckled and trotted after Luna.

"Admit it, you will miss me." Orion then bumped her back, with a little more force.

"We will admit nothing." said Celestia cheekily from his other side and bumped her rump into Orion's with a little too much force which sent him tumbling into Luna. Both alicorns lost their balance and fell to the ground in a heap. Celestia went into a giggle fit as she watched Orion and Luna trying to untangle themselves. "Oh my stars I am so sorry!"

"I'm getting you a wide load shirt for your birthday." Orion groaned and tried to get up but since Luna was doing the same they kept falling over each other.

"Honestly sister! Watch how thee swingeth that weapon of mass dest-" Luna's eyes suddenly reduced to pinpricks and she froze in place. "Orion." the dark alicorn said flatly.

"What?" the gray alicorn also stopped his movements and looked down at Luna.

"Thou'rt... Poking me." Luna's eye twitched but a small blush still crept onto her muzzle. Orion looked down and realized with what he has been poking her with.

"Oh." Orion's eyes went wide and he tried to move away as fast as possible but it only made him wiggle more and more.

"Not. Helping." Luna growled as her blush deepened.

"Then maybe let go of my leg!" Orion then shot Celestia a look. "Not that leg! Get your mind out of the gutter!" the alabaster alicorn could only snicker in response. Orion then finally managed to get off of Luna and the dark alicorn rose to her hooves like some kind of apparition.

"Orion." she slowly turned around, her eyes glowing white.

"Yes, my dearest friend Luna who I did not intend to poke with my undercover brother?" Orion laughed sheepishly and took a few steps back. Celestia just watched on in amusement. She was really happy that her sister finally had a friend to play with!

"Dost thou wish to die?" Luna asked menacingly.

"I wish thou would stop saying dost." Orion said cheekily. His cheekines, however, quickly faded away once a pair of scissors the size of Luna appeared next to the dark alicorn.

"Run." the scissors snapped shut a couple of times to let Orion know they were giving him a head start. Orion wasted no time and bolted away as fast as he could.

"I don't wanna' be Jewish!"



Storm Breaker had a good time. He made a new friend, went to a party and almost surfed on a wave of peanuts. But just like every first time somepony tries something, Storm Breaker failed and failed hard. He fell from the table he was using as a surf board before the peanut wave even broke down the door and he was carried away by the torrent. To add insult to injury he was allergic and the doctors had to pump him full of equineighphrine to keep the allergic reaction under control.

But through it all Storm Breaker could safely say it was the most fun he had in a while. It's been work, work, work for the past few months and today he could finally let loose. Too bad it was short lived but with Orion around he was sure it wasn't the last time something crazy or fun would happen.

"Back off Freddy Krueger!" right on cue, as always. Storm Breaker looked to the door of the medical wing when it suddenly opened. Orion was backing up, slowly distancing himself from Luna who wielded a gigantic pair of scissors and Celestia watching with an amused smile. "I'm not letting you anywhere near Itchy and Scratchy" Storm Breaker thought he must've been high on drugs because he could swear princess Luna wanted to-

"Oh don't be such a foal." Celestia added with a sinister chuckle. "She'll just take a little off the top."

"Keep it in your pants, Molestia." Orion shot the alabaster alicorn a look and Celestia did her best not to break character.

"Maybe I will." she licked her lips and Orion's ears fell flat on his head.

"Okay, this is not funny anymore." he gulped and held his hind legs closer together. "And I've run out of penis euphemisms!" Luna's scissors were coming dangerously close, Celestis summoned an empty carton of chicken eggs, Storm Breaker tapped rapidly on the call-nurse-button. "I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T TAKE AWAY MY DANGUS KHAN! Hey I got one!"

"What in the name of Celestia is-" Doctor Syringe poked her head inside and her eyes went wide as dinner plates when she saw the scene.

"Doc! You gotta' help me! Luna wants to cut off old faithful!" Orion cried for help but when the sisters looked at the doctor and winked, something Orion didn't see, Syringe looked at Storm Breaker.

"Check up is in 1 hour. Good day." and promptly closed the door. Luna and Celestia looked back to Orion who was already saying his goodbyes.

"Goodbye, spurtnik. It's been a hell of a ride." Orion then looked to the sisters with pure horror on his face. Just what did he do to get them to act like this? Was it some sort of crazy trigger that activates when you poke a princess with your duke of hazard? "Make it quick just like my ex." Orion then began to shakily spread his hind legs only to be stopped by an eruption of laughter. Opening his eyes Orion saw Luna and Celestia rolling on the ground and holding their sides. "Laughing after seeing my pee pee. Just like my ex."

"Thine look!" Luna could barely get the words out.

"Oh my sides! By the stars it hurts!" Celestia had tears flowing down her cheeks.

"Yeah, yeah laugh it up." Orion rolled his eyes and then heard snickering from behind. Doing a quick turn Orion finally noticed he was actually in Storm Breaker's room. "Dude! Why didn't you back me up?"

"I'm not getting paid enough for that!" Storm Breaker pointed to the laughing sisters.

"Fair enough." Orion then decided to simply ignore the two alicorn mares and sat down beside Storm's bed. "How you doin' buddy?"

"Oh you know. Not too shabby." Storm replied with a sly smirk. "The nurses treat me nice."

"You dog, you!" Orion slapped him on the shoulder and nearly sent him flying off the bed. "Sorry! Sorry!"

"Alicorn strength." Storm rubbed his sore shoulder.

"Tell me about it." Orion looked at Celestia whose laughter reduced to an occasional snicker. "Somebody should really put a bell on that thing." Celestia rolled her eyes and finally decided to get up from the floor.

"I hope you learned a lesson today Orion." Celestia smiled mischeviously and held up the egg carton before crumpling it and tossing it into a garbage bin without even looking.

"Do not try to hump the royal rump." Luna added while also getting up.

"Hah! In your dreams Moonbutt!" Orion scoffed and Storm was left mortified. He just called Luna Moonbutt to her face. "And you! Sunbutt! What's with the whole Molestia thing?" two for two!

"Go big or go home." Celestia shrugged it off.

"How can you say such things?" Storm Breaker looked absolutely mortified.

"I would say it behind her back but I can't fly that far!" Orion's reply almost made Storm Breaker faint. Celestia merely rolled her eyes.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I brought you to see your friend and I must now leave to attend to some royal business." Celestia nodded curtly only for Storm to bow in return. Orion eyed her suspiciously.

"Isn't that the new cake they named after you at that place where we-"

"Gottagobye!" and in a bright flash she was gone.

"Honestly." Luna rolled her eyes before turning them to Storm Breaker. "Storm Breaker. I see thou art feeling better."

"A lot better, Your Majesty." Storm bowed curtly from his sitting position on the bed. "Gotta' say, Orion knows how to party."

"Yes, so we've heard." Luna looked at Orion who whistled innocently. "Next time, thou might want to dial back on the chaos."

"But it was fun." Storm Breaker tilted his head. "Why would he want to do that?" Luna sighed but before she could speak, Orion opened his mouth.

"Beacuse somepony could have gotten seriously hurt since I can't control this Gary Stu bullshit." Orion sighed and held out his hoof. "I'm sorry you almost died from allergies." Storm Breaker chuckled and accepted the hoofshake.

"Apology accepted, boss." Storm Breaker then smirked. "And don't worry, I'll be back protecting your balls from crazy princessess in no time!" as the words left his mouth Storm Breaker realized what he was saying. His face slowly draining of color as his eyes moved to Luna.

"Oh relax." she rolled her eyes in annoyance. "My sister and I can take a joke."

"Bet you couldn't take my-" the giant scissors appeared again with a menacing snap. "-compliments about your fabolous mane! Is that a new constelation I see in your mane?" Orion chuckled nervously and the scissors disappeared.

"I'll give thee some time to say your farewells." Luna then turned on her hoof and trotted towards the exit. "We shall be waiting at the train station in two hours." and then she was gone, leaving the two stallions alone.

"Finally!" Orion fell to the bed on his back and stretched out like a starfish. "I'm exhausted!"

"Looks like you are really close to the princesses." Storm Breaker remarked and decided to sloth-out on the bed as well. These Canterlot medical beds were something else though, really big and comfy. "And why are you exhausted? You're not the one who's lying in a hospital bed."

"The amount of sex jokes and innuendos in the past five minutes was too much even for me." Orion puffed a stray lock of mane from his eyes. "I need some guy talk right now."

"Guy talk?" Storm questioned.

"Yeah. You know, sports, politics or that other stuff you usually talk about with your bros." Orion replied, hoof gesturing like he was counting.

"Orion." Storm Breaker began with a serious tone. "You don't have to hang out with me if you don't want to."

"Dude!" Orion kicked Storm's leg with his own. "I'm your friend, remember? If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't."

"First off, ow. And second, just checking." Storm then returned the favor making Orion laugh.

"That tickled." Storm repeated the action but it only made Orion laugh more. "Dude! Stop! I'll pee myself!" Storm Breaker stopped his assault and jumped to his hooves. Orion quickly followed suit.

"Alright, this just got personal!" Storm Breaker got into a fighting position which Orion thought was adorable as heck. Not being one to miss out on a good tussle between bros, Orion got into a stance himself. 

"Mortal Kombat!"



Celestia, Luna, the Mane Six and Spike were all at the train station, the Friendship Express's locomitive puffing out steam. Ponies were already boarding the train as it would be leaving any minute now.

"Where is he?" Twilight asked nopony in particular and looked for signs of Orion, the gray alicorn nowhere in sight.

"He will be here Twilight." Celestia assured her student. "Perhaps he got caught up in conversation with Storm Breaker."

"The train leaves in exactly 4 minutes and 38 seconds!" Twilight panicked and flew up to see if she scould catch a glimpse of Orion. "Of course he's going to make me late! I'm never late!"

"Calm thyself Twilight." Luna said before yawning. "Orion will be here soon. If he misses the train we can always teleport him to Ponyville."

"You know what teleportation does to him, Luna." Celestia looked at her sister who was grinning.

"Yes. Yes I do." Luna replied. Two more minutes went by and still no sign of Orion. Everypony already boarded the Friendship Express except for Twilight who was pacing nervously and freaking out about being late. Just as she was about to forcefully teleport Orion to the train station a mailmare approached them with a big cardboard box on a cart and a letter on top of it.

"Princess Celestia?"

"Ummm, yes?" Celestia responded and looked curiously at the box. The mailmare simply dumped the box in front of her.

"Ha! No returns!" the mailmare looked a little too happy about getting rid of the box as she bolted away.

"What is that?" Twilight gently tapped the box and it jolted to the side like something was inside.
"What the?"

"Curious." Celestia took the letter as the box kept wobbling. Opening it up she had to keep from laughing as she read the letter.

Dear Princess Celestia.

I am VERY pleased to inform you that Sir Orion Pax's amnesia is completely gone. Like for real. Trust me, I'm a proffesional.

Likewise, Storm Breaker's allergy was put under control and there will be no need for further treatement.

Also, there will be no need for them to come to my medical bay ever again. EVER! I mean it! The mess their little scuffle made will take us two days to clean! The entire room is covered in what Sir Orion has dubbed "troll bogeys". Please get his chaos magic under control.

I must go now, the bogey are attracting bees for some reason.

Best Regards,
Dr. Syringe.

Celestia really did her best not to laugh and handed the letter to Luna who was not as subtle and almost fell over.

"What does it say?" Twilight took the letter next. "Oh." the lavander princess was not as amused. She was pretty sure Orion would be staying at her library and she did not want her precious books getting covered in troll bogeys. Celestia approached the box and cut the duct tape with the help of magic. Sure enough, Orion and Storm Breaker were stuffed inside, both looking uncomfortable and ashamed.

"Oh." Celestia tried to act all surprised. "I didn't know you were taking your house to Ponyville."

"It's not my house." Orion grumbled and tipped the box over so both he and Storm fell out like apples. "It's my vacation mansion."

"Yes, it does look relaxing." Luna added while inspecting the inside. "Did you renovate?"

"A fresh coat of paint." Orion replied and shook his head to get his mane back in the proper position.

"We will miss you, my friend." then to Orion's surprise, Celestia nuzzled his cheek making Orion's gray cheeks tint a little.

"Uuuuhhh. I'll miss you too, Tia." he didn't know where that came from but apparently Celestia didn't mind. She actually smiled.

"Fare thee well, Orion." then to his further shock, Luna nuzzled him as well. Yep, he was blushing.

"You too, crazy moon pony." Luna backed away with a flat look.

"No nickname for me?"

"To be fair, you tried to cut off my little pony." now it was Luna's time to blush. "Well, it's been fun. Just promise me you won't do any surprise teleportation visits and scare the crap out of me." Orion could practically see a light bulb appear over Celestia's head as an idea formed in her mind. "Cool it, Trollestia."

"What? I have no idea what you're talking about." she whistled innocently before winking playfully. Orion couldn't help but chuckle.

"Alright, enough with the sappy goodbye's it's time for a new saga in this isekai!" Orion then trotted inside the passanger wagon with a goofy smile.

"Don't worry, your Majesties." Storm Breaker bowed. "I'll keep an eye on him."

"You are joining him?" Celestia asked and got a nod in response.

"Somepony has to keep him out of trouble." Luna then looked at the box and raised her brow. "Starting now! He he... Ummm, I should go." the blue pegasus then entered the wagon.

"This is going to be fuuuuun..." Twilight droned as she slowly realized what she has gotten herself into. Celestia chuckled and nuzzled her student in comfort.

"I'm sure he'll grow on you." Celestia assured her.

"Like weeds." Luna added with a chuckle. "Fare thee well, Twilight Sparkle."

"I guess so..." Twilight said with uncertainty.

"C'mon Twilight!" Orion's head popped out the window where Twilight's friends were waiting. "The train is late because of you!" Twilight's eye twitched.

"It'll be fine." she said through clenched teeth. "I mean, what could possiblly go wrong?" Celestia realized a Twilight moment was incoming and she began pushing the younger alicorn into the wagon. "Just the first alicorn stallion in Ponyville with chaos magic. He he he. Hehe! Hah!" Celestia basically yeeted her into the wagon.

*CHOO-CHOO*

"Be sure to write to me, my dear student!" Celestia hollered over the trains ever louder engine. The Friendship Express was slowly getting out of the station when the two sisters saw a famimiar head pop out of the locomotive's side window.

"How did he get there so fast?" Luna wondered as Celestia produced a white handkerchief to wave goodbye. Orion grinned like and idiot and pulled on the rope that activated the train's horn.

*CHO! CHOOOOOO!!!*

"AAAAALL ABOARD! HAHAHAHA!!!"
> 16 - Ready! Set! Ponyville!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------



The train ride for Ponyville was surprisingly uneventful. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that once Orion came back to their compartment he fell asleep. Orion snored lightly, his leg ocassionaly twitching as he dreamed of the time he ran from security-

A-anyway, since Orion was sleeping and Storm Breaker was inspecting the train for possible threats, besides Orion's snoring, that meant the mares could have some girl talk.

"You think this is a good idea Twilight?" Rarity asked while observing Orion. He was drooling a little.

"Do you know anypony else that uses chaos magic?" Twilight chuckled when Orion smacked his lips like he was suckling. "Besides, he's not a bad pony and wants to learn to control his magic so he doesn't hurt somepony."

"But Discord as a teacher?" Rainbow scoffed and kicked Orion's back leg that was creeping dangerously close to her rump.

"Well, I think it will be fine." Fluttershy said and patted Orion's head. The stallion hummed in delight and immediately relaxed. "See?"

"Ya' know what ah don' see?" Applejack pointed to Orion's flank. "A cutie mark!"

"So?" Pinkie tilted her head. "Orion was not a pony before becoming an alicorn so it stands to reason to think that whatever he was before doesn't get cutie marks and therefore-"

"Pinkie?" Twilight interrupted the perky mare who was using a laser pointer at a complex looking diagram.

"Yes?"

"I'm supposed to be the smart one..." Twilight pouted and crossed her front legs.

"Okie dokey!" the diagram and laser pointer were yeeted out the window and apparently hit somepony. "Sowie!"

"I can keep an eye on Orion and Discord Twilight." Fluttershy offered and was met with shocked gasps. "What? You don't think I can do it?" Fluttershy frowned at her friends.

"Nopony said that!" Twilight replied. "It's just, we were surprised when you agreed to keep an eye on Discord and now you want to take in one more chaos being?" everypony nodded in agreement.

"Discord is not the same creature he was before and Orion is a good pony." Fluttershy patted the sleeping stallion who once again hummed contently. "Everything will be fine."



Orion awoke with a big yawn inside their cabin aboard the Friendship Express. He faintly heard the mares discussing something about a trip to the spa but didn't care much for it. Instead he turned his gaze through the window and the passing landscape. Orion couldn't remember when was the last time he saw so much green.

"Damn..." he said quietly and felt something climb on his head. "What do you think bud?" Nibbler the squirrel, who returned to the group after his solo exploration of Canterlot, gave Orion's ear a light nibble. "You gotta let me meet your family." the squirrel was gesturing something with his tiny arms and talked in his cute squirrel noises. "Subtitles please."

"Cinnamon says his family would be delighted to meet you." Fluttershy said and offered a smile at the end when Orion looked confused. "His real name is Cinnamon, remember?"

"Right, right." Orion nodded slowly so that his little friend doesn't fall off. "I still think Nibbler is better." the small squirrel huffed in approval. "Soooo... Are we there yet?"

"Not yet." Twilight groaned.

"Ninety nine bottles of-" Orion's song was interrupted by Applejack's hoof in his mouth.

"We don't sing about cider in front of Rainbow Dash." the earth mare tilted her head towards the cyan pegasus. Orion nodded and his mouth was hoof free.

"-take one down, you pass it around. Ninety eight bottles of-" a collection of glares made Orion stop and laugh. "I was gonna' say juice!"

"Aight, now ah know yer lyin'!" Applejack poked Orion's chest, suddenly realizing how small she actually was compared to him.

"No you don't." Orion deadpanned.

"Ah don't." Applejack pouted and retreated from the stallion.

"Alright, Purplesmart, what's the plan?" Orion turned to Twilight who suddenly smiled widely. "Oh no."

"I'm glad you asked!" Twilight pulled out a rolled-up parchment and undid the seal. "Lucky for you, I had a little bit of free time and made a list of activities!" as soon as the seal was removed, the parchment rolled out and kept on rolling. "First, we'll exit the Friendship Express. After that we'll introduce you to Mayor Mare who has been informed of your arrival." Orion would've snickerd at the pony name if not for the fact the parchment rolled out of their cabin and kept on going. "Then it's off to-" Twilight stopped and looked at Orion whose head was out of their cabin and looking down the hall. "Are you listening?"

"It never ends..." Orion said in horror as the parchment rounded a corner and fell out of sight. You could still hear the paper unfolding...

"Of course the fun never ends! And this list will make sure of it!" Twilight tapped the parchment proudly. "Now, where was I? Oh right! Then it's off to Sugar Cube corner for a perfectly planned and scheduled Welcome to Ponyville party." Pinkie handed Orion an envelope.

"Peanut waveeeee..." the pink mare whispered dramatically into Orion's ear.

"Allergiesssss..." Storm Breaker's head peeked out between Orion and Pinkie Pie.

"There will be no peanut wave!" Twilight jumped to her hooves, a strand of hair panging out of her mane. "Your creations can't be sweeped under the rug like Discords and I will not have Ponyville covered in troll bogeys!"

"Alright, alright! Jeez." Orion raised his hooves in defense. "No peanuts or troll bogeys. I promise." he winked.

"You just winked." Twilight said with a blank stare.

"No I didn't." Orion winked again and the girls, minus Twilight and Storm Breaker, began snickering.

"You just did it again!" with a twang, another strand of mane left her post.

"Fine! I promise I won't wink again." Orion rolled his eyes and Twilight smirked triumphantly.

"Oh yeah? Pinkie promise!" Twilight challenged him and everypony oh'd.

"I don't have a pinkie." Orion said with a raised brow and inspected his right hoof. "I mean, I have her." then he pointed to the Pink mare who was trying to figure out what Orion was searching for on his hoof.

"No." Twilight shook her head. "A Pinkie promise is a special promise that, if broken, can lead to catastrophic consequences!" the purple alicorn said smugly and Orion rolled his eyes. "You do it like this. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." Twilight went through the motions and Orion winced when Twilight actually sticked a cupcake in her eye. "Now you."

"I don't have a cupc-" a cupcake poofed into existance, courtesy of Twilight. "Right." Orion looked at the cupcake and then at the expecting eyes of his new friends. "Umm... Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." Orion did the last part very slowly and gently, silently mourning a perfectly good cupcake. "There. That wasn't so hard." then to everypony's horror he winked cheekily. All eyes turned to Pinkie Pie who remained perfectly calm.

"Pinkie!" Twilight grabbed her friend's shoulders and shook her vigorously. "Orion just broke a Pinkie promise! IN FRONT OF YOU!" the others were already saying their prayers, for both ORion and themselves.

"I know!" Pinkie replied giddily. "And my Pinkie Sense didn't go off! Isn't that exciting?" Twilight let go of her friend in complete and utter terror. Her head slowly turned to Orion who was chuckling menacingly.

"The catastrophe already happened, Twilight." Orion then got close to Twilight's face. "You brought me to Ponyville."



The Friendship Express slowly arrived into the Ponyville station. The station was filled with ponies who were waiting to feast their eyes on the first ever alicorn stallion. Reporters were at the ready with their cameras and Roseluck and her sisters were busy decorating the station for the arrival of Orion Pax. Even Trixie was there!

"The Great and Aplogetic Trixie has returned!" the blue mare said from the top of her carriage and let off a couple of small fireworks that made the gathered foals laugh while the adults just rolled their eyes. But the Great Trixie would not be deterred by such looks. She swore to become a better pony and by the stars she's going to do it! It wasn't her plan to come back to Ponyville so soon but when Trixies heard of the big news she just had to come see for herself. Maybe it was all a ruse!

"Here they come!" somepony exclaimed as the train finally stood to a halt and the carriage doors opened, their inside completely black for some reason...

Mayor Mare even made sure to roll out the red carpet for the new Prince, a title she decided was only appropriate for the alicorn, and even put up one of those fancy fences with the red ropes. Everything was perfect for the arrival of Prince Orion Pax.

"RUN Y'ALL!!!" Applejack was the first to dash out of the train and make a run to the hills.

"Ow! Ow! OW!" Rarity stumbled out of the train carriage. "Leave me be you filthy beasts!" the white unicorn ran inside the station's building and locked the door. Everypony was baffled at the display until their ears began twitching.

"You hear that?" Roseluck looked at the black void of the carriage door. "It sounds like-"suddenly Rainbow Dash flew out in panic and the black void apeeared to follow her.

"CROWS!!!" Cheerilee yelled and dropped to the ground at the last second. A murder of crows flew out of the carriage and over the residents of Ponyville like a thick black cloud. Ponies screamed in panic and ran away so they don't get pecked on the head with sharp beaks.

As all this was going on, Trixie was still on top of her carriage and looked down at the black sea of crows like an old sea captain. Ready to brave the treacherous waters, Trixie waited for her opportunity and jumped down once an opening presented itself. Landing gracefully on her hooves, Trixie was just in time to see Twilight and Fluttershy exit the carriage.

"See? I told you! A catastrophe!" the purple mare had several strands of her mane sticking out. Fluttershy on the other hoof was completely calm as a pair of crows perched atop her head. Apparently they wanted to nest in Ponyville.

"Oh relax." came Orion's voice from inside and Trixie's eyes widened. It was the most attractive voice she'd ever heard. "And before you say it's because of the promise, it's not. I can't control what happens around me." Trixie went stiff as a statue when Orion finally walked out, the scene playing out in her mind in slow motion. Orion descended the three steps slowly, his muscles moving under his grey fur. A bright flash almost blinded Trixie when he smiled. Even the way Orion shook his mane out from his eyes looked amazing and gracious. The way he walked towards her, each step painfully slow as smooth jazz played in the background. Orion was saying something to her but Trixie was too far gone.

"Ummm, Trixie? Are you okay?" Twilight waved a hoof in front of the unicorn but Trixie's eyes never left Orion.

"I've heard of getting frozen with fear but this is ridiculous." Orion gently tapped Trixie with his hoof and the unicorn fell to the side, her body still stiff as a statue. Twilight continued curiously poking the downed Trixie but the unicorn didn't budge. "Okay this is weird, even for this place." the stallion side-stepped the smitten unicorn and walked over to the station building. "They're gone now, Rares. You can come out."

"What were you thinking, Orion?" came the distressed voice of Rarity from inside.

"I was thinking how it would be cool to jump out surrounded by white doves but that backfired spectacularly!" Orion groaned and knocked on the door. "Will you come out now? I didn't mean for that to happen, honestly!"

"Honestly?" Rarity guffawed. "You broke a Pinkie promise!" Orion rolled his eyes, still not believing this Pinkie promise nonsense.

"It's just like with the peanuts!" Orion groaned and knocked again. "Sometimes I think something and shit happens!" the door suddenly swung open and revealed an irritated Rarity.

"Language!" she scolded him before sighing. "I know you didn't mean to, darling." Rarity approached Orion and nuzzled him. Nopony noticed Trixie twitch... "But maybe before you learn to control your magic it would be best if you... Umm... Didn't think so much?" Rarity said sheepishly.

"Will do, ma'am! Ahyuck!" Orion replied goofily and stuck his tongue out the side.

"I will bring these two to the forest." Fluttershy approached with the two crows on her head. "They're about to become parents! Isn't that exciting?"

"Parents? They were literally created two minutes ago!" Orion looked at the loving couple of crows who were hugging on Fluttershy's head.

"I will join you, Fluttershy." Rarity stood besides the butter color pony. "Perhaps after that we should look for Rainbow Dash and Applejack?" Fluttershy nodded and the two trotted away towards Fluttershy's cottage.

"Wait. What about Pinkie Pie and Storm Breaker?" Twilight looked at Orion.

"She jumped out the window after the crows appeared. Said something about getting a black leather coat and face paint." Orion smirked at the memory of that particular movie and decided to not question how the eldritch horror knew of it. "And Storm Breaker is..." Orion hummed in thought. "I have no idea where he is. How does the guy just disappear so randomly?" both alicorn shrugged, letting the answer remain a mystery forever...

"Sooooo I guess it just leaves the two of us." Twilight swayed on her hooves.

"Sure does, T.S. Spazalot." Orion smirked which made Twilight's ears drop and her expression to go flat.

"I regret this already."
> 17 - Butt stamps and cats
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

That was quite the introduction Orion had. Not that many saw him since everypony was ducking down to avoid the crows. Once they left the train station Orion got his first view of Ponyville. It looked like an ordinary little village to him.

"That it?" Orion looked to Twilight and her scrunched muzzle.

"What do you mean That it?" she asked looking up at the taller alicorn.

"I dunno'." Orion shrugged and continued with the slow pace next to Twilight. "It's nice I guess. A quaint little village." it did seem like a peacefull place, minus the crows that were now flying around and scaring everypony.

"You dont' sound very impressed, Mr. I Lived In A Castle." Twilight huffed and rolled her eyes.

"I slept in a dumpster for two weeks." Orion deadpanned and Twilight imediately flinched. "Guess I thought it would look... Different?"

"Well, I can assure you, you'll like it here." Twilight responded and ruffled her wings. "To be fair, I was also a little sceptical when I moved here but I now call Ponyville my home."

"Moved? From where?" Orion asked while looking around his new home.

"Canterlot." Twilight replied and puffed out her chest. "I went to Celestia's school of magic and was her favorite student. She even took me under her wing and gave me advanced magic lessons."

"Then why did you move here?" Orion looked down to a suddenly stiff Twilight.

"Princess Celestia said I needed to learn about friendship." she then laughed sheepishly. "I was kind of a loner."

"So she yeeted you here?" Orion asked with a raised brow.

"Basically." Twilight's brows furrowed. "Now that you say it, it was a little rude."

"I think Celestia knew what she was doing." Orion then halted since they reached what was basically the center of town and stood in front of a fountain. "Just hope she's right about this Discord guy." Twilight stood next to him and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Discord is not so bad. Well, now anyways." before Orion could react Twilight continued. "Anyway, welcome to Ponyville!" and on cue ponies swarmed the two of them and Orion nearly fell into the fountain.

"Oh my Celestia it's him! He's real!" Roseluck squealed and almost fainted.

"I can't bucking believe it!" Berry Punch gasped.

"Language!" Cheerilee smacked the pink mare upside the head.

"Come by Sugarcube Corner, Your Majesty!" said Mr. and Mrs. Cake before stuffing a muffin in his mouth which actually made him fall into the fountain.

"Calm down everypony!" Twilight tried to calm down the situation before something bad happened. "Give Orion some-"

"Twilight." the lavander alicorn froze upon hearing Orion calling her. He did not sound pleased. Her head slowly turned towards the fountain and color drained from her face. Orion's horn was starting to glow.

"Alright everypony give him some space NOW!" the crowd immediately backed away, startled by Twilight using the Royal voice. Even Twilight realized what she did and covered her mouth. "I am so sorry..."

"Geez. You could have asked nicely." Vinyl Scratch huffed and subtly pulled back her hoof that was trying to hand Orion her mix tape. To her surprise, Orion grabbed the tape harshly.

"You better hope this is good." Orion said ominously and Vinyl gulped.

"Please. Give him some space." Twilight now practically begged the townponies. Orion slowly stood up and got out of the fountain. He eyed the ponies with a deadly glare, water dripping from his mane and body. The mares couldn't decide if he was hot or terrifying. Bit of both maybe... "Orion is new to being an alicorn, just like me, so all of this attention is a little too much for-"

"He's a blank flank!" you could hear a snap from Twilight as soon as Diamond Tiara opened her mouth.

"Really?" said the CMC who puffed into existance before Orion. It was like all the rage melted away in an instant as Orion's senses were flooded with excrutiating levels of cuteness. Their big eyes immeditaley went to his flank and the fillies smiled widely. "One of us!"

"Oh my god!" Orion dropped down to eye level, his eyes wide as saucers. "You three are so cute!" Twilight sighed in relief so much she almost blew away a couple of ponies. She just couldn't help but smile when she saw Orion jumping around Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle like a big dog that just encountered the cutest puppies. However, her expression soured when Diamond Tiara approached the four.

"Pfft. Blanks go with blanks." she chuckled and earned herself angry looks from the CMC. "Nothing to see here ponies. Just a blank flank alicorn. I guess they let anypony become alicorn these days." Twilight knew that last bit was directed at her but brushed it off.

"What's a blank flank?" Orion stood up to his full height and Diamond Tiara realized how small she truly was.

"It's a rude term for somepony who doesn't have a cutie mark." Apple Bloom, standing between Orion's front legs, replied and glared daggers at Diamond Tiara.

"Like muggle?" Orion tilted his head and got confused looks all around. "Nevermind. Yeah I don't have a cutie mark." Orion lowered his head and stared at Diamond Tiara. "What about it, pipsqueak?"

"Somepony called me?" a tiny white colt with brown mane peeked out from the crowd.

"I should have known." Orion deadpanned upon seeing the little colt. His eyes then went back to the snobbish filly. "Beat it, brat." Diamond didn't have to be told twice and ran away, leaving a cloud of dust behind her. "What's her deal?"

"That's Diamond Tiara." Sweetie Belle sighed and Orion looked down to see all three CMC's standing beneath him like he was some sort of guardian.

"You get used to it." Scootaloo added.

"You don't get used to it." Orion grinned menacingly. "You get even." his expression and suggestion left the three fillies mortified, yet really intrigued...

"Alright everypony! Go back to your lives! There's nothing to see here!" Twilight shooed away the crowd to finally get Orion settled in. Ponies left rather displeased and murmuring among themselves, a perfect cover for Orion to arrange a secret meeting with the CMC. Twilight only caught the end when the CMC trotted away and giggling. "What did you say?"

"I am unable to disclose that information." Orion replied smugly and Twilight rolled her eyes. "That brat has it coming."

"What?"

"What?"

"Ugh." Twilight rolled her eyes. "But she has a point." Orion frowned slightly. "It is curious how you do not have a cutie mark."

"My kind don't get cutie marks." Orion the shook violently to get as much water off himself as possible. "Besides, I don't need a tramp stamp."

"Cutie marks have nothing to do with dog stamps. And it's not something that gets stamped on you." Twilight elaborated but Orion only chuckled.

"Alright. Then how do you get one?" Orion asked, a smile still tugging at his lips.

"You have to find your special talent." Twilight chirped. "Something you're really good at. For example, I'm really good at magic." she then showed Orion her cutie mark.

"What do stars have to do with magic?" Orion's brows furrowed.

"Well, stars are magical and..." Twilight's brows furrowed in thought. "And magic... Sparkles. And sparkling stars are magical! And-"

"So you basically get your name stamped on your butt." Orion deadpanned.

"No you don't!" Twilight retorted.

"Really? Celestia has the Sun, Luna has the Moon." Twilight's ears drooped slightly. "Applejack has apples, not sure about the jack. Flutteshy has butterflies and she is shy like butterflies anyway." now her ears were flat against her head. "Rainbow Dash has a rainbow coming out of a cloud like lightning. You get it? Lightning is fast." Twilight slowly stepped back. "That Diamond Tiara kid literally had a diamond tiara! And Pinkie Pie-" now Orion had to stop since he had no idea how balloons made sense with Pinkie Pie. He shook his head and continued. "See where I'm going with this?"

"I-I never thought about it." Twilight looked mortified with the sudden revelation. Her brain raced a thousand miles an hour and sure enough most ponies basically had their name as their cutie mark. But what did that mean? Did their names dictate their cutie marks?

"Sure you didn't, Sparklebutt." Orion patted Twilight on her back and the mare returned to reality. "I wonder what my cutie mark would be?" Orion tapped his chin in thought.

"Well, what are you reeeeally good at?" Twilight was still trying to repress the new realization that connected names to cutie marks.

"Cunnilingus." Orion replied smugly but only got a confused look from Twilight.

"What's that?"

"Eating pussy." Orion kinda' expected how Twilight would react to this.

"WHAT? EW! THAT IS DISGUSTING!" Twilight resited the urge to vomit.

"You're saying ponies don't eat pussy?" Orion pressed on with a grin.

"OF COURSE NOT! WHAT KIND OF MONSTER EATS CATS?" he wasn't expecting this. It took him one second flat to fall down to the ground and laugh his rump off. "THAT IS NOT FUNNY!"

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FUNNY IT IS!" Orion had tears running down his cheeks.

"What is going on here?" Rarity approached the green looking Twilight and roflmao-ing Orion.

"Rarity?" Twilight looked at her friend. "I thought you went with Fluttershy to her cottage?"

"Oh darling I did. But I suddenly remebered I had to do something at my boutique." Rarity looked at Orion who was now trying really hard to not continue laughing. "Speaking of, Orion?" the grey alicorn looked at the mare. "Why don't you come over and I can make you the most exquisite-"

"NO!" Twilight jumped in front of a shocked Rarity. "He will eat Opalescence!"

"What in Celestia's name are you talking about?" Rarity looked back and forth between Twilight and Orion.

"We were talking about cutie marks and he said that our cutie marks are basically our names anyway then he asked what his would be and I asked what he's reeeeeally good at so he said it's cunilingus and when I asked him what that is Orion said it's eating pussy and who in Equestria eats cats-MMPF!" Rarity stuck her hoof in Twilight's mouth and the white mare's coat was now beet red.

"Twilight, ahem..." Rarity removed her hoof from the stunned Twilight's mouth. "Cunilingus and eating pussy means-" she then whispered the rest into Twilight's ear and Orion could see the lavander fur slowly change to red as steam shot out of Twilight's ears. The urge to explode in laughter in Orion was too damn high.

"Oh..." Twilight stood stunned and dazed, strands of mane slowly twanging out here and there.

"Yes." Rarity then quickly composed herself. "Now, as I was saying." she looked at Orion and her face immediately flushed. "Umm, master-I mean, Orion." the stallion almost went into another fit of laughter. "I would be delighted if you cum-I mean, came in my dungeon-BUCK!" Orion really couldn't help it now and did his best not to pee himself from laughing.

"What is going on here?" Octavia Melody asked and Orion stopped rolling on the floor and looked at the new grey mare.

"I was just telling them what my special talent is." Orion said cheekily.

"Oh? Is it perhaps music? I myself am a musician!" she showed him the violet treble clef.

"No, but I do play guitar." Orion smiled. "We should totally jam some time!"

"Jam?" Octavia recoiled. "I'm afraid I do not partake in such rowdy music styles."

"Rowdy? Apparently my special talent is also rowdy." Orion looked smugly at Rarity and Twilight.

"Really?" Octavia looked at his blank flank. "Umm..."

"It's cu-"

"DON'T YOU EVEN!" both Rarity and Twilight screamed.

"Cultivating? Are you perhaps a farmer?" Octavia wondered but it only gave Orion more fuel.

"Well, I do like to plow fields." he smirked at the two blushing mares, making their eyes' twitch.

"I see." Octavia nodded. "Well, welcome to Ponyville where there's fields aplenty!" Octavia bowed curtly and trotted away. Orion waved and called after the grey mare.

"I'm loving it already!"