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Hi. My name's James. If you're reading this, then one of two things have happened. One, you're another human that got sent to this shit hole and was able to find my shelter. Or two, you're one of the ponies that found me and I'm probably rotting in a cell or getting experimented on. If the former, good luck. If the later, go fuck yourself.
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Am I the only one who feels like she’s not actually sorry?
Good one shot, hope you make a sequel or expand upon this someday!
Might want to take one of those out, but boy did I enjoy this! I love short and
sweetbittersweet stories, but I wouldn't say 'no' to some sort of follow up.Damn dude this is so good! You are extremely talented!
Yeah, I could see a human in Equestria would definitely get the Zecora treatment. Twilight might be insanely curious, Pinkie would be too friendly for most and Fluttershy might go into caregiver mode without knowing what she's dealing with (like in "Bird on the Hoof")
As to the end, Twilight realized the guy was merely trying to survive and ponies were just too much for him.
An enjoyable read!
Very good one shot, I liked how Zecora was the only who showed the displaced human any form of kindness as she knew what it was liked to be misjudged.
Sounds about right for the ponies, especially before they listened to Applebloom in the end about Zecora. They're like children with no real concept of proper reaction level to things outside of the daily routines, culture, or species. Pretty certain a human 6 out 10 times would be running from them.
Great work one this. 👍
I, too, would like to see a follow-up.
However, it's more impactful leaving as it is, with the open question of whether they will ever be able to counteract the poison or not....
11488925
Bunch of frickin hypocrites on "friendship/harmony" aspect, am I right?
Hopefully, they get karma on their colorful butts.
Talk about misunderstandings and poor communication skills from the ponies and even from James to a degree. I can only hope James pulls through and that mess could finally be cleared up.
Follow up please?
11488925
As much as I wish otherwise, the pones can be pretty pone-centric at times.
My own reaction to pones would depend heavily on HOW I met them. If I blacked out one day and woke up to see a purple muzzle and horn I might panic a bit, if I found that gosh-darned extra-dimensional portal, I would be a lot more enthusiastic. Of course that begs the question on how they would react to me, hopefully they'd be cautiously friendly (if that makes sense).
This can’t end what happened next
(What I like about this is that it portrays people as reasonable, but failing to communicate. Fluttershy sounds like she was just trying to help and Angel ruined everything, because Angel is horrible. Applejack? Yeah you chase down something eating your livelihood. Pinkie Pie probably wasn't actually trying to hurt him, she was probably just excited and curious. Rainbow DEFINITELY was, especially after she heard he decked Fluttershy, she gets tunnel vision. And Twilight was just attempting to solve the 'problem' of him, find him, likely due to a letter from Celestia.
Oh, and Rarity using a bat to chase away a forager... yeah actually that one's kind of bad, she should have put two-and-two together that someone rummaging in her trash isn't doing it because he has many options. Also, Spike's still a kid, so I give him kind of a pass. He shouldn't have done it with the fire, but at the same time, I can easily see him panicking and defending the household, and for all his maturity he is still a baby dragon. He's learning. Oh, and the Guard continues to just make things worse and/or be useless. Of course.
But again... there's some suggestions that they weren't ALL out to get him just to get him. That this was a series of miscommunications as much as anything else. That there were attempts to speak. That they didn't really understand. And I like that... there's some certainties, and some ambiguity... leaves it open for more, especially with Twilight's reaction at the end.)
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Is she ever?
People who regret past actions make an effort to not repeat them. Toollight and crew seem to repeat the same mistakes each season if not each episode.
Personally I wouldn't set foot in that place without a full set of survival gear, the complete contents of my gun safe, and a 100% guaranteed way out. Humans may have lots of issues but at least there is a chance for reason to prevail. Ponies have this issue where if something doesn't fit 100% into their established routine their first, best, and last reaction is to kill or lobotmize it.
Great story. As others said I would like to see some more pretty please.
Who was actually in the wrong here????
11489171
yeah so...
who's really in the wrong here????
It's pretty weird that he camped up with Zecora for around 50 days, and never did it occur to Zecora to tell him that the ponies are alright. Also, the MC's decision to ingest slow-acting poison, an excruciating way to go, was highly questionable.
This. This story hit me like an unexpected gut punch...swift and without mercy.
Among all the 'what-if' scenarios I've seen explored by writers in the many years I've been part of this fandom, it's been rare to see this perspective. Take away the cutesy attitudes about 'friendship' and the seemingly "adorable" features, and consider the ponies for what they might actually be: a purely alien race, with unknown motives and desires. Because we're fans of the show, we're given to being welcoming of them. Still, this story makes one consider what would really happen if you suddenly found yourself on an alien world, with no clue how to get back to Earth, surrounded by colorful freaks with weird powers! Like our protagonist here, you wouldn't know what they want with you, and you seriously wouldn't want to find out...
I'm of two minds about this ending. On the one hand, I would like to know more about James and his journey, but on the other, I'm also fine with not knowing. I don't believe every story has to have a neat little bow at the end...and in this case, going further with the tale would lessen its impact. Does he make peace with the ponies? Does he find his way back home? Or is this the end for him, and he slips off on his terms, determined not to give those he perceives to be his enemies the satisfaction of watching him suffer?
I am rooting for him either way.
Cool idea and an interesting take on HiE, but damn dude, there are so many spelling errors. I also thought the ending was... pretty cheesy and short. It's a decent, smooth read, but could have used some editing.
the story is entertaining. but the idiot hid in the sewer. take a 7 in maximus stupidity.
Well
Shit
Sequel story please?
This was alright. Interactions are plausible enough, I could see the various characters reacting the way they do, especially since this seems pre-ascension Twilight era, possibly before Zecora came to town as well?
Fluttershy's Stare has never sat well with me TBH. It seems to directly affect the mind of the observer, inciting fear and/or docility. It appears to actually be magical, not just attitude and expression. It's not direct mind control exactly, but it does forcibly influence certain emotions in a way that it leaves the target vulnerable. The mind is sacrosanct, and should not be violated in such a manner without life and limb being at stake. Granted, he DID kick a bunny, but the only one who seems to like Angel is Fluttershy herself, and she should know he's a jerk to basically everyone. Fluttershy usually doesn't abuse The Stare too much, but she does use it instinctively, even when it's not really necessary.
If I were in a completely alien world (even if I was somehow able to communicate clearly like the protagonist), I'd definitely be cautious of the local population, cute or not. I imagine myself more open-minded than average, but I can't be too hard on someone who was forcibly ripped from their world and thrown into Equestria with no context.
I'd be open to reading a sequel, should it be made. Could expand on the cultural differences, and explain things between the protagonist and the world he finds himself in. As far as they knew he was some grubby sneaky and violent looter somewhat similar to the Diamond Dogs the gang experienced. He's a scared person alone in a strange world with no idea how he got there. Wouldn't need to be too long either, under 10K words, heck it could be around the length of this story, so long as one is fine with a lot of exposition being boiled down to 'we talked and explained our perspectives and circumstances, and realized we had more in common than not', followed by him writing about settling into life on an alien world with friendly, if skittish, locals. For a longer story in this vein, one might want to check out Misunderstandings by The Rogue Wolf on FimFetch (the author took their stuff down on FiMFiction).
This was a really good story! Any chance we can see a sequel where the various ponies (Mane 6, Luna, Celestia, guards) are writing in their own personal journals about the events leading up to the hospital? From when James arrives in Equestria to the end?
Most excellent.
11489294
I thought it might have been because this story might have taken place before Birdle Gossip. Though if it did take place after it, then it doesn't make much sense other than the story's plot demanded her not to. Given Zecora's pretty wise, she would have easily told him that the ponies are generally peaceful and harmless but can be potentially hostile to someone they don't know or understand--and it wouldn't help if the one they are hostile too are hostile right back (i.e. punching Fluttershy when she was trying to help) due to their own fear, and everything keep snowballing.
11489192
Sadly, humans can be like that too to a degree, given now it's far from unusual for someone to want to "fix" someone that isn't acting like a "normal" person, or who they see as a "normal" person, though due to political and religious reasons I won't go into more detail. But going back to the story, despite how it's easy for us to get on the ponies' case, I can really see humans acting the same way the ponies did in this story if an alien showed up here and (in our eyes) acted like they are dangerous (I.e. attacking a friend; most people wouldn't take kindly to their friends being attacked, let alone by some alien). Now some people would wonder if the alien is acting out of fear and could be peaceful, but realistically, just as many if not more people would just think they are dangerous and should be dealt with, either by capturing or outright killing them.
Misunderstandings can be a bitch, and yet can happen so easily in even real-life, it's almost sad. But at least they can make for good stories, when done right of course.
Should have taken the ol' cynide pill
Great story, not a fan of HIE but this one had me hooked.
My interpretation, under the assumption that Zecora was the one who gave James the poison, is that it wasn't poison but some sort of strong non-dreaming sleeping potion that will knock him out for a few days, make the ponies think he'll die so that they can reflect on how they've been handling this whole situation so that when he wakes up, they will be calm and rational and hopefully learn from this experience.
And the moral is... Being homeless sucks, I guess?
11489324
Any better alternative? Specially with Twilight chasing him using locating spells?
Everfree is death.
11488829
Nope, cause she shouldn’t be. You could cut out the last bit and the story wouldn’t change a bit.
Human runs scared before killing self. The end. Why is Twilight sorry? Uhhhhh… cause main character?
11489776
That's the real question, isn't it? Why is she sorry?
11489813
You tell me, you're the author.
11489816
It's meant to be an open ended story.
11489192
I think it’s more than that. Maybe it’s the timing?
11489776
Maybe because she had something to do with his condition.
11489850
What does open ended mean exactly? I am curious as this is the first time I've ever heard of it. So does it mean that it's opened up for anything?
11489892
It means that the ending is open to interpretation. A good example of this done relatively well was the ending of the movie The Lamb.
I would like a squeal! Prefect fitting for a prologue.
11489924
Thank you for answering my question, I really appreciate you giving me a better explanation of what "open ended" meant.
11489929
You want a..."squeal?" Odd request, but here you go: EEEEEEEEEEE!!!
No, no...no need to thank me. It's what I do!
11490041
OOOH MY GOD, LMAOO, YOU CAUGHT ME LACKING BIG TIME!
Should've reread my sentence. Nice rib friend.
11489924
I would assume James was mentally ill, possibly paranoid, and basically causing havok around Ponyville. The Elements had to take "extreme" measures to stop him and would have handled it differently had they only realized he was a fellow sentient suffering a mental break down sooner. Now he's severly injured, because they where too rough on him.
When the poison is either a sleeping potion or the doctors have better treatments.
Sequel?
11489294
Because maybe they aren't?
Remember that it wasn't just the Idiot Six who decided she was evil. It was the entire town. Hundreds or thousandsof creatures all deciding on the basis of where she lived and her appearance along with the irrational words of their neighbors that Zecora was as much an immediate threat to their lives as a manticore. And keep in mind that where her stripes hidden Zecora would be viewed as just an eccentric earth pony.
That level and scale of bigotry does not just appear out of nowhere. Its something that is instilled when young and reinforced by the creatures culture. Yes sometimes they seem to accept an outsider. If the outsider adopts all their cultural norms and defers to their "betters". If that outsider doesn't accept a lesser place in society though...
Well there was a phrase used during the days of westward expansion here in the USA. "The only good injun is tame or dead". That seems to fit the ponies view of non-ponies quite well. Either they become a funny-looking socially inferior pony (aka tame) or get chased out/ killed/ blasted with whatever mind-rape magic the ponies can bring to bear.
That said here is my challenge.
Name me ONE time in the show when a pony from Equestria actually interacted with another species using non-pony norms from the start and without being coerced to do so.
If this story gets a sequel, I’ll be a very happy man