Orion felt like he was in high-school again. The scene was all too familiar from his younger days. Orion in a chair and an angry principal going on and on about what he had done. The difference now was that Orion was a pony and there as an all-powerful princess acting as the principal and the Elements of Harmony were innocent bystanders.
"Ten thousand bits in property damage!" Celestia proclaimed while pacing in a circle. "The cafe completely ruined!"
"In my defense-" Orion got cut short.
"Canterlot is filled with millions of peanuts!" Celestia stomped her hoof.
"I hear you, too bad it wasn't cake." Orion chuckled but quickly paled when Celestia got so close in his face their noses touched. "Does this mean we're married now?"
"This is not funny." Celestia said with a tone that sent a shiver down Orion's spine. "You were out of control." Celestia retreated only for Luna to take her place. Orion noted how Luna's muzzle was softer.
"Storm Breaker could have died. He recieved five doses of equineighphrine." Orion decided that laughing right now was not a good idea.
"He's fine." was Orion's only response.
"Fine?" Luna reared back. "His head looks like a gourd! Not to mention his medical insurance barely covered the treatment."
"That's kinda' on you." the death glare the sisters sent him was the final warning. "Shutting up now."
"Do you know how long it will take us to clean up this mess?" Celestia asked and Orion shook his head. "Neither do we!" Orion tilted his head in confusion.
"Let me explain." Luna chimed in. "Our magic is not able to remove the peanuts from Canterlot. For whatever reason, the spell simply bounces back. There was no trouble with Discord's antics but it would appear your chaos is... Superior." Orion did not like the way Luna said that last word.
"Can't you just use it to make peanutbutter or something?" Orion asked and got an answer from Celestia.
"No. We cracked one open and two more took it's place."
"Hail Hydra."
"STOP MUMBLING!" Luna roared and Orion scurried backwards. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF THE CHAOS YOU CAUSED?"
"I'm sorry, okay?" Orion decided to stand his ground and got up. "It just happened! It's not like I wanted to surf on a wave of peanuts!"
"That is excatly the problem." Celestia stood next to Luna. "You cannot control this. Today it's peanuts, tomorrow it could be raining axes."
"So you do think I'm a loose canon!" Orion stomped his hoof in anger. "So what now? Are you going to imprison me for eternity? Or I don't know, blast me into oblivion with your friendship railgun?" when no immediate answer came Orion's ears fell flat. "I knew it."
"We're not going to-" Celestia began but Orion held a hoof up.
"No, no. It's fine. Put an end to this nightmare." Luna flinched at the last word.
"Who do you think we are?" Celestia asked in shock. "We don't just blast ponies because they messed up." Orion's glare was enough to let Celestia know what he wanted to say but held his tongue notheless.
"Orion." Luna stepped forward. "We are not trying to punish you. We are worried something worse may happen and-"
"We decided to send you to Ponyville with Twilight." all eyes fell on Celestia after her statement. "Discord will teach you to control your magic so we can prevent further disasters."
"Oh really? So the puppy bit you one time and you're sending him to be trained instead of dealing with it yourself?" Orion growled. "You know what? Fine! I'll go to fucking Ponyville and fix this mess but don't expect me to stay afterwards!"
"Orion-" Luna began but was cut short.
"No! You're treating me like a criminal and you know damn well I don't know how to control this!" Orion ponted to his horn. "You think I wanted to flood Canterlot? You think I wanted my friend in the hospital?"
"That still doesn't excuse-" Celestia tried to explain but Orion would not allow it.
"But it excuses you, doesn't it?" Orion shifted his glare to the solar alicorn. "I've heard the stories, ponies talk. Things go sideways and you send the problem to Ponyville like it's some cure-all for everything. Let somepony else deal with a problem and you get to stay a great princess. Guess it's better than the moon." everypony gasped at the final statement.
"Have care how you speak." Celestia said cold as ice.
"Or what? I'm not one of your loyal subjects! I'm stranded here, don't you get that?" Orion shot back. "There's nothing for me here! I never asked to be a goddamned pony with some bullshit chaos magic! I just want to go home!" Orion turned his back to the sisters, not a least bit intimidated by Celestia's slowly burning mane. "I thought you were my friends. Guess I was wrong." he then slowly walked to the exit. "Don't worry, I'll fix this crap and you'll never see me again."
"Orion, wait." Luna went after him and out her hoof on his shoulder which Orion promptly shook off.
"I'm done with waiting. Thanks for everything." and with that Orion left the office.
"The audacity!" Celestia stomped her hoof in anger. "After everything we've done this is how he acts?"
"He's got a point." Twilight spoke up and Celestia glared at her former student.
"Excuse me?" to everypony's surprise, Twilight remained firm.
"I also think you overreacted." Twilight looked Celestia dead in the eyes. "I can name a dozen examples where this kind of reaction was needed but you didn't act on it."
"This is different!"
"How?" Twilight pressed on. "Discord basically got a slap on the hoof when he turned your guards into foals for a day. This was an accident. Sure, it could have been worse but luckily nothing serious happened-"
"Storm Breaker is in the ICU!" Celestia pointed in the general direction of the medical wing.
"It was his idea!" Twilight's revelation left Celestia confused.
"What?"
"I was there, as were my friends." Twilight looked to sid frineds who nodded in unison. "Storm Breaker said how it would be cool to surf and one thing lead to another. I'm not saying it's Storm Breakers fault but it seems Orion subconsciously summoned a wave, made out of peanuts for some reason, to make his friend happy. Orion also didn't know that Storm Breaker was allergic."
"Yeah!" Pinkie spoke up. "It was an honest mistake! Orion is a good pony and you yelling at him does not help!"
"I-I agree." Fluttershy stepped forward. "Orion didn't mean to cause chaos, it just happened. Discord does it sometimes too."
"Exactly!" Rainbow Dash basically flew in Celestia's face. "Orion's buck up made for the best party in Canterlot!"
"A little rough around the edges-" Rarity began. "-but a gentlestallion indeed."
"Ah' think he's alright. Said something about growin' up on a farm and nopony bad grows up on a farm." Applejack said firmly and tipped her hat. "Don' mean to be disrespectful but ah' think you overreacted."
"And I think it's not your place to judge my decision." Celestia replied, even though inside she questioned her actions.
"They are right." Luna, who hadn't moved from her spot, slowly turned around. "We made a dragon out of a fly."
"You too, Luna?" Celestia looked at her sister in disbelief. "Did you not see how disrespectful he was?"
"Is that not the reason we enjoy his company?" Luna retorted. "Orion is not afraid to stand up to us when we are wrong. Did he not criticize your behavior not long ago?" Celestia looked down in shame. "Orion is true to himself, wether we like it or not. If you ask me that's a welcome change in this castle. I'm tired of ponies tip-hoofing around us and complying with our every whim."
"I'm trying to protect him." Celestia said quietly.
"Him or us?" Luna walked to her sister. "We need to apologize. This is not how friends treat each other." she nuzzled Celestia who sighed sadly. "I do not wish to lose a friend, Tia. And neither do you."
Orion stomped angrily through the castle, desperately trying to find his room.
"Should've paid attention to Storm Breaker." he muttered under his breath. Turning a corner Orion groaned when he realized he passed a particular statue already. "Dammit." Orion leaned on a wall and slid down into a sitting position. "I didn't want this." he groaned and rubbed his eyes in frustration. "I didn't want any of this." Orion sighed deeply. He had to get away...
"Come sister." Luna urged Celestia who followed closely behind. "He couldn't have gotten far."
"This is not how I envisioned this conversation to go."
"You truly thought Orion would take this sitting down?" Luna stopped in her tracks. "Even I should have known better and yet I still used the Royal voice on him. He needs to learn to control his magic, that much is true, but it still doesn't make what we did right." Celestia looked to the side.
"I know. I just..." Celestia couldn't find the words.
"You enjoy having him around, am I correct?" Luna smiled and her sister nodded. "As do I."
"I fear he might hurt himself. What if axes really do start raining from the heavens?" Celestia shut her eyes and tried to shake off the mental image.
"Then Orion will conjure a gigantic dome of jelly to bounce the axes away." Luna's solution got a chuckle out of Celestia. "Accidents happen and sometimes bad things happen to good ponies. I should know."
"Luna-"
"Orion is our friend, a true friend, something we don't have a luxury of." Luna nuzzled her sister. "Mayhaps something more..." Celestia suddenly pulled back.
"What?"
"N-nothing!" Luna defended herself but the tinted cheeks gave her away.
"Lulu." Celestia looked at her bashful sister. "Do you have feelings for Orion?"
"No! I don't know!" Luna took a few steps back. "Tis' true I enjoy his company but romantic-"
"Oh my Sun! That's what you meant earlier when I was at your door!" Celestia was in shock, not a bad one, just surprised.
"I said it was noth-" Luna suddenly stopped and pointed an accusing hoof at Celestia. "So do YOU!"
"Do not!"
"I am not at liberty to discuss that information said she with a blush!" Luna did a spot-on impression of her sister who was blushing slightly.
"Fine. I admit I entertained the idea of a date with Orion. But only for a moment!" Celestia defended but Luna wasn't buying it.
"I knew it!" Luna said triumphantly. "That's why you got so angry! This is personal for you!"
"And for you it's not?"
"Of course it is! He's a cherished friend!" Luna said adamantly. "My feelings towards him were fleeting just as yours!"
"Doesn't look that way to me." a third voice said.
"GAH!" the sisters jumped when Honey Comb suddenly appeared.
"I apologize. I was going to visit Storm Breaker and overheard your conversation." Honey bowed as the two sisters looked at each other in uncertainty. After a short pause Celestia spoke.
"And?"
"And what?" Honey raised her head.
"What dost thou think?" Luna asked and Honey Comb felt like she was put on the stand with the two sisters looming over.
"Um..." Honey knew that look from school. Two mares wanting to know which of them the stallion fancies. "I think that..."
"Yes?" the duo didn't realize what they were doing as they loomed even more.
"I think you do have a crush on Orion which is completely understandable." Luna and Celestia slowly retreated with relaization dawning in their minds. "I mean, you do spend a lot of time together and look much happier, especially you, Princess Luna." Honey then regained her full composure. "It was bound to happen if you ask me. Besides, you wouldn't react the way you did if you didn't care about him." the sisters looked at Honey with a quizzical look. "The entire castle heard you, but that's beside the point. What matters now is that the three of you apologize to each other and hug it out." Honey bowed curtly. "But that's just an opinion of a humble maid. I wish you a wonderful day." and with that short piece of wisdom, Honey made her way towards the medical wing.
"Could it be true?" Luna looked at her sister.
"I mean..." Celestia was at a loss for words.
"Is it because Orion is an alicorn?"
"Of course not!" Celestia did however think Orion being an alicorn did help them meet.
"We have been alone for a long time sister." Luna's brows scrunched in thought. "We are not used to ponies treating us like Orion. Are our feelings in a storm because of it?"
"I don't know Lulu." Celestia was questioning it herself. Are they developing feelings for Orion because he is the first pony to treat them equally and as a friend?
"Hello?" the sisters were once again startled when they heard a voice. Orion's voice.
"Orion?" Luna tried to find the source of the voice but Orion was nowhere.
"Over here!" Celestie turned towards her right and looked at a painting before trying to supress a laugh.
"Are you in a wall?" Celestia asked and removed the picture from the wall. Just as she suspected, Orion tumbled out from behind the painting which concealed a tunnel.
"Oh thank God!" Orion jumped to his hooves. "I thought I was gonna' stay in there forever!"
"How did you even end up in there?" Luna asked and used her wings to clear some dust from Orion.
"I thought I found one of the shortcuts Storm Breaker told me about." Orion shook his head to get rid of the cobwebs from his mane.
"H-how much did you hear?" Luna asked with lowered ears.
"Hear what?" Orion looked at the lunar princess who sighed in relief. "Look..."
"I want to apologize." all three said in unison and looked at each other before chuckling.
"I'm sorry for what I said." Orion took the lead. "It was rude and... You don't treat friends like that." Orion sighed before continuing. "You two helped me out a lot and you didn't deserve that. You took me in and went along with my story, which is a little concerning when you think about it, and offered me your hospitality." the sisters smiled softly at Orion. "So, I'm sorry for being a dick."
"Apology accepted." Luna chimed in. "We would also like to apologize for the way we treated you."
"Yes, you did not deserve to be yelled at for something you had no control over." Celestia added.
"But you're right, no?" Orion added. "I got lucky this time but if one day axes rain down from the sky? I mean, I would probably make a giant jelly shield but-" Orion stopped when the sisters giggled. "What?"
"Oh nothing." Luna said. "We really do spend a lot of time together, don't we sister?"
"True." Celestia confirmed. "I do like our time together. I hope you will return to Canterlot after your training, puppy." Celestia winked at Orion who smiled.
"Well, there is a lot of cake this puppy needs to guard from you." Orion shot back.
"You shall need reinforcements." Luna nudged Orion.
"Oh please, you just like me for my coffee." Orion teased.
"Not just coffee." her blush went unnoticed by Orion but not by Celestia.
"Then how about a dat- I mean, dinner?" Celestia suddenly piped up and Luna's eyes went wide.
"Yeah, I could go for dinner!" Orion said happily. "So, what are we having?" Celestia was about to reply when Luna suddenly jumped forward and touched noses with Celestia.
"If you say me, I shall smite you." Luna hissed.
"It is on sister." Celestia hissed back.
"Ummm, what's going on?" Orion was really confused about the situation.
"Nothing!" both mares smiled widely like everything was fine.
"Oooookay..." Orion raised a curious brow. "I Suggest you two lead the way, lest I end up in a sewer or something."
"And emerge in Manehatten." Luna added with a chuckle.
"Seriously?" Orion rolled his eyes and the trio walked side by side towards the kitchen. "What's next, Baltimare?"
"Hmmm, Baltimare is too far." Celestia hummed thoughtfully.
"I was joking." Orion deadpanned.
"Stalliongrad perhaps?" Luna asked and it made Orion almost facehoof.
"It's a cold city so I wouldn't recommend it." Celestia replied. "Fillydelphia is nice though."
"What's next? Buckingham palace?" Orion quipped but it got a confused look from the sisters.
"Buckingham?" Celestia asked with a raised brow.
"Why would somepony name a palace after the act of copulation?" Luna asked in disbelief.
"I should have stayed in the wall." Orion groaned making the two sisters giggle.
So they walked to the kitchen, naming towns, regions and cities in Equestria while Orion tried not to cringe at every pony pun that came his way. The important thing is they made up and remained friends, promising to visit each other while Orion was in Ponyville. Things were back to normal it seemed. If their happily swishing tails were anything to go by, it would only get better from here.
awwwwwww
Sometimes the plot just doesn't wanna.
I have just read this. The jelly shield thing was okay, while I do believe it to have been in character for Luna to suggest him making a jelly shield, I'm not sure that he would understand magic enough to know with confidence that he could summon one himself. I believe the 'peanut wave' might have been the first instance of him summoning stuff? Either way, it's not an issue.
Other than that, hmmm... what else to say?
You spelled Celestia like 'Celestie' at least once.
I look forward to seeing where this continues from here. Although, I am interested in knowing. How does Orion feel about his magic?
Is he scared of it, neutral and 'just-go-along-with-it' or excited by it? Would he want to see what else he can do with it, or focus on clamping down on keeping it under control. Would he try to avoid it or embrace it?
I don't fully remember everything of the story so far so I can't remember some of his character and current progression off the top of my brain-containment-unit.
Also, I like what you did with the Buckingham palace joke. I wonder if that would ever come up again, seeing as how t's a royal palace from his homeland, and he is an alicorn. Speaking of, I am not clear on Orion's status (eg is he technically royalty as an alicorn) or whether the ponies know that he is not a pony. (More that I can't remember if this has been covered yet.)
Thank goodness you didn't have the sisters go head over heels for him right out the gate, that would've hurt this story's flow on so many levels.
I rather like the fact that they are quick to question their feelings based on whether it's just lack of companionship or simply because they like how he acts around them, relationships take more than that and it's good to see this be shown.
equineighphrine.
no... NOooo fuck you.. nooo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :P
Bwa ha ha ha ha!!!
11406649
I thought it all fell together nicely.
Good chapter bro. This better blossom later on into a HAREM... Just kidding. Till next time.
11406651
Orion is kinda' neutral at this point. He just says what he would do if he knew how to control his magic. Guess you'll have to wait and see what he does with it.
And no, he is not royalty of any kind and only a few know he wasn't always a pony.
11406656
I've seen many stories where they're all like "I wanna hump MC's brains out" in the first two chapters and the MC is like "Okay, cool, my beloved."
Trying to do a high-school crush thing at the beginning. Will they, won't they, is this okay, do I really like him/her and so on.
Glad you like the story btw
11406665
yes.... yeeees. yeeeeeeeees! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!
11406694
glad someone caught on to this little reference xD
11406649
Damn you plot! Bend to my will already!
11406718
Angry goat noises
For real though, this dude needs some agency, some sort of independent pursuit that's not reliant on the princesses. Bit of ego building, you know? Good for the story as well, a protagonist needs to be able to advance towards his goals.
11406722
That's why he's going to Ponyville, the land of opportunity!
He also needs a job cuz' he broke AF...
...I mean that really got out of hand fast!
-Ron Burgundy
Conversation
11406694
I like this reference.
Though he did have a point about Celestia sending every problem to ponyville and her student. She only tried to take action with changeling queen and she lost.
Equinephrine.
I don't know which is worse- you putting it into print or me not even thinking of it before now...
flips coin
Had issues posting comment on phone... fat fingers hit the delete button vice edit.
Here's my comment via PC.
Caught a few typos
Ah good old fashion puppy love, not bad. Not jumping the wagon and see what happen.
And who knows in ponyville I bet no one would think he is a prince.
Maybe Discord would take Orion to see the world in an Aladdin type of adventure as he is painted blue.
Also because Discord is gonna a be a teacher I really wish this happen:
"...And so, princess Celestia put on her comfiest slipper, and pink robe, exit her room, clap her lips twice, greet a couple of maids on her way to the garden to enjoy a breakfast on the open, enters the place, stretch once and long, pick up her mug of coffee, sits on a chair, approach the glass closer to her lips, looks up and then..."
Spitting the content of her beverage she falls back from the shock
"...she witness the migration of flying blue pigs!" JEJEJE
These last two chapters were hilarious!
And when Orion goes to Ponyville you know Murphy is gonna open up a warehouse version of His Law to make things "Interesting".
Oh yeah that could have led to a lot of problems
Careful Celly, that kind of thinking can easily lead to dangerous places
Not used to that are you, Oh glorious Princess Celestia
Sisterly competition
11406773
Heads!
Neat
Ponyville chaos here we come!
Heh, nice little crossover with a Beanverse
great chapter!!! keep it up!!~
Wrong fic Mr. Orion 'McNotBean' Pants
It's a common feeling that the royal sisters would be attracted to a stallion who isn't afraid to treat them as mares instead of untouchable gods.
The only thing that I disliked about this chapter is imposing America's insanely bad medical insurance system on Equestria.
In Celestia's defense who else is supposed to teach him about something so unique other then the one other being that can use it?
I find it funny Rainbow Dash always Flys into others faces and only agrees after several others have. She's supposed to be "Loyalty" but I see more examples of why she doesn't deserve it then reason's she embodys it.
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Copulating pig?
I certainly would like to see how Orion would cope with the feeling of betrayal and anger longer, but I guess this is fine. Though l, the sudden change in mood is borderline whiplash
i.pinimg.com/originals/a6/79/f3/a679f3939c9642ffcc003c4391fe1167.png
Huh. I would have thought that Celestia of all ponies would get all the facts before going off like that. I guess I can forgive it in this case, emotions running high and whatnot. Ah well, onward to the Chaos capital of Equestria!
Maybe in magical ponyland that's true, but I can personally attest that that's not true in reality.
11407411
That ... doesn't matter?
"Oops I sent my best friend to the hospital because I don't know how to control powers behind the realm of understanding! I'm going to get mad and pissy because I'm going to be TAUGHT how to control it???"
Thats unreasonable? How the hell is it unreasonable? The only person (probably) in the whole world who even knows how to control or even tweak it lives there!
So why the hell not send him there to learn?
Hell yes, if a puppy puts someone in the hospital from biting, I'd have them trained!
And why the M6 got on their case about it? Really?? TWILIGHT? The hell did YOUR family do when Soike was growing up, eating furniture and belching flames?
*oops* better leave him alone and not tell him it was wrong, instead of teaching what is and isn't food!
Jeez and this fic was becoming fun until hitting the DUH brick train.
11407547
Yup. Some farms grow soy.
11407777
That too. But beyond that, I've met my fair share of absolute a-holes that grew up on farms. I respect the profession, of course, having grown up on a farm myself, but that doesn't automatically make all farmers and farm kids good people.
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Lol
11407775
Like I said, I'm not happy with this one. There were many things left unsaid and the chapter just wouldn't cooperate with me. Started it over many times but after a while I was like what the hell, chuck it in the fuck it bucket.
Emotions were running high, sure, and the conflict resolved itself way too quickly. Pretty sure Orion will notice it sooner or later. Keep in mind he's the only "real" one in Equestria. Nopony stays mad at each other longer than an episode anyway. Wouldn't Orion find that weird?
I can only imagine Twilight's familiy going "Nah, It'll be fine."
Still, I thank you for being real here. Appreciate the honesty.
Hope you stick around for more. If not, that's also fine.
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All aboard!
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Some people were talking about it way back in chapter 3 I think and comparing the two stories. A reference to it had to come up at some point.
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Maybe because it makes for good laughs and makes the sisters feel... Reachable?
While I certainly would enjoy a more serious approach to them getting in a relationship I tend to lean towards the funny stories because ultimately I want be "hahaha" and "dawwww" at the same time. I don't see myself "Indeed, this was quite the political debate between Celestia and MC. Two serious and obvious adults talking about the fate of the world-aaaaaand they're fucking. Okay, cool."
11407324
It is what it is and I feel the same. This chapter refused to cooperate.
I'll do better in the future.