Well, the coffee was a success. After everypony got a taste of the real deal, Orion quietly snuck out of the kitchen and decided to wander about seeing as he's got nothing better to do.
"And so our hero enters the maze." he spoke with a fake british accent. "His only goal to find an exit to this accursed place." Orion took a random right turn, not really knowing where it will take him. "After bribing the occupants of the castle, Be-I mean, Orion, has made sure none would follow him on his brave endeavour."
"Unfortunately, all but one managed to resist his vile concoction." Orion's head almost snapped from how fast it turned back and saw Celestia with an amused smile. "Oh please, don't stop narrating on my account."
"Fuc-errrrr, I mean, curses!" yeah, some habbits needed to be controlled.
"Curses?" Celestia chuckled at the word. "I believe that word hasn't been used in cussing in over a thousand years."
"I'm pretty sure I heard your sister use it last night." Orion said with a raised brow and turned his head forward again. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Celestia wanted to say something but the mare stopped herself at the last moment. "So, where are we going?" Orion continued on his merry way with Celestia catching up to him so the two were side by side.
"You tell me, oh great hero." Celestia replied dramatically and Orion rolled his eyes. The gesture was followed by a giggle from Celestia before she graced him with an answer. "If we continue down this path we will reach the Royal gardens."
"Royal gardens?" Orion said with a raised brow.
"Well, that's what everypony calls it. I preffer to simply call it a garden." Celestia replied matter-o-factly and sniffed the air. "Ah! I can smell the canterberies already!" Celestia said with glee and picked up her pace. She was only a few feet; hooves?; away before noticing Orion falling behind.
"You go on ahead. Running lessons are tonight." Orion tried to shoo her away with his right forehoof but almost toppled over. "Balance will be extracurricular." Celestia smiled apologetically and trotted back to the gray alicorn.
"Nonsense." she reassured him with a gentle shoulder to shoulder bump. "I shall guide the hero to his destination." Orion chuckled and continued forward.
"It would appear the hero managed to charm the vicious ruler of the castle." he continued with the fake accent.
"Vicious?" she said in mock hurt. "You flatter me." Orion looked at the mare and smiled. Maybe she wasn't so bad after all.
"Riiight..." he looked forward again and saw the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. "That it?" Celestia merely nodded and the two walked out into the open. It was truly a sight to behold with neatly trimmed hedges, bushes made into various shapes of ponies and variosu flowers as far as the eye can see.
"Well, what do you think?" Celestia asked with pride in her voice. The garden was a very special place to her and she took care of it meticulously. Orion observed his surroundings as they slowly walked through it. "I had these brought over from Saddle Arabia." Celestia stopped at a very strange looking yellow flower. Orion stiffled a laugh.
"Saddle Arabia?" he asked, trying not to choke.
"Why yes." Celestia either didn't notice his tone or simply decided to ignored it. She gently plucked one flower with her magic and brought it to her nose. "They smell divine." and then she ate it. Orion was less surprised by the act than he thought he'd be.
"Taste good too I bet?" he said while observing Celestia's delighted expression. The mare quickly realized wahat she was doing and quickly swallowed before looking a little embarrased.
"My apologies, that was rather rude. But yes, they are simply delectable." she levitated another flower and offered it to Orion. "Would you like to try?"
"I'll take your word for it." Orion then waited to see what Celestia would do and when she hadn't moved for a couple of seconds he smiled. "Go ahead." aaaaand it's gone. After she ate the second flower like it was the tastiest thing in the world, Celestia cleared her throat and once gain stood with pride and a huge smile.
"You still haven't told me what you think of my garden." Orion looked around and nodded a few times.
"It's... Nice." his response caused Celestia's ears do drop and her expression shifted to an unamused one.
"Nice? You're saying that a garden that stood the test of times for centuries, is nice?"
"Guess I'm not the flower type." Orion said while taking a few steps back, totally not scared he insulted an overpowered Sun princess. However, one of Celestia's ears rose while tilting her head to the side with a curious expression.
"Then what type are you Orion?" she asked gently and Orion chewed on his lower lip uncertainly.
"I'll let you know when I find out." he then turned around and continued walking through the garden and Celestia quickly followed suit. "I have a question."
"Ask away."
"Why does everypony think I'm some kind of prince or, or, royalty?" Celestia could sense a hint of annoyance in his tone.
"I would say it's because you're an alicorn."
"I keep hearing that but what does that have to do with anything?"
"Well, you see, only alicorns are royalty in Equestria and so ponies naturally assume you are one too." Celestia responded and Orion rolled his eyes. "Orion, being an alicorn comes with certain achievments and responisibilities. All alicorns were great rulers, and in the case of Twilight Sparkle, a hero."
"Twilight Sparkle?" Orion thought he heard wrong.
"Yes. She's my faithful student and has saved Equestria on multiple occasions." now Orion sensed a great deal of pride within Celestia. "What I'm trying to say is, whether you truly are a prince or not, or even a great hero, we won't know until your memory fully returns."
"That'll be a disappointing revelation." Celestia frowned.
"It's rude to mumble." Celestia chastised.
"Sorry." Orion smiled sheepishly. "Old habbit I guess." then he felt something soft on his back and saw that Celestia draped one of her wings over it.
"It's alright. I can only imagine what you're going through. Believe me when I say I will do everything in my power to help you." Celestia smiled reassuringly and Orion smiled back. After a short and quiet moment Celestia suddenly beamed. "I know! Why don't I help you remember how to use magic?" Orion's eyes almost popped out.
"Magic?"
"Yes! Magic is like second nature to alicorns! It's almost like walking." when Orion looked at her with a deadpan expression, Celestia chuckled nervously. "Umm, poor choice of words given your predicament."
"It's fine." Orion then got to thinking. "You know, knowing how to do magic would be pretty cool."
"And highly practical. There are just some things these hooves can't do." she lifted her left forehoof to emphasize her point.
"Like peel a banana?" he offered and Celestia tilted her head side to side in thought.
"Not the example I would use but yes." she then took a few steps back, inhaled deeply and continued. "It's been a while since I've taught somepony how to channel their magic. I hope you can forgive me if I'm a little rusty."
"I'm sure it'll-"
"First!" Celestia said loudly making Orion flinch.
"Okay, not so rusty."
"In order to use magic you first need to learn to channel it." she then began walking left to right, you know, like teachers do. "And to do that you need to find your source. Sit!" the fwomp sound his rump made when Orion abruptly sat down almost made him laugh. "Now close your eyes and clear your mind." Orion did as instructed and tried it. "Let your mind be empty of all thoughts. Make it serene as a calm lake at night." Orion tried harder and his closed eyes squinted more. "Then look deep within yourself-" deeper meant more squinting."-and find your center. " squint harder boy. "When you find it, you will feel a strong energy pulsating within you." Orion's face was getting redder and some veins were starting to pop out. "I want you to grab that energy and pull on it! Bring it out to the surface!" Orion felt like he was about to explode from all the concentrating he was doing. "Feel the magic and push it towards your horn! Do you feel it? Can you feel the magic?"
"I can feel a fart!" and with that Orion opened his eyes and exhaled deeply with color returning to his face. Celestia had to hold herself from laughing as nopony in all her years said something like that while she was teaching. "You make it sound so easy."
"It's because it is." Celestia used her wing to cool Orion down since he began sweating from all that squinting. And probably from holding in certain things... "Little colts and fillies usually do it on their first try."
"Defeated by children. Great..." Orion plopped down to the grass with a pout.
"Don't be discaouraged, Orion. All you need is a little spark and the rest will come easy." Celestia patted his head with her wing. "Now up you go!" she enveloped him in her magic and hoisted him up, elicting a startled yelp from the stallion. "Let's try this again." Orion wasn't sure about it but nodded notheless. "From the top then. First-"
"Your majesty! Excuse me! Princess Celestia!" both alicorns looked towards the incoming voice and saw a brown earth pony mare, wearing the top half of a business suit with two black saddle bags.Her mane pulled back into a bun and with big round glasses resting on her snout.
"Ah, Serifa-"Orion, once again, tried not to laugh. "-what can I do for you?" it would seem the princess got a tad nervous when the smaller mare shot her an unamused look.
"For me, yourself and, most importantly, Equestria, you can attend the meeting with the griffin ambassador that was supposed to start ten minutes ago." Serifa said sternly.
"Oh." sudden realization struck the Sun princess but her assisstant wasn't finished.
"Then, you have an interview for Equestria Daily, a joint photoshoot for Cosmare and Vanity Mare-" Serifa continued to list things off, completely ignoring Orion's amused snort.
"Really?" Orion felt like he should get an award. All these names were too punny.
"Serifa insits my time is too precious for photoshoots so she usually arranges them to be at the same time." Celestia explained to Orion, even though that was not what he inquired about.
"-and we end the day by lowering the Sun." Orion looked at Serifa with a strange sense of awe.
"Did she even breathe through that?" Celestia giggled.
"Serifa is the best assistant I had in... Wait." something clicked in the alicorn's mind. "Serifa, what about lunch?"
"It's all taken care of." Serifa then reached into one of her bags and pulled out lunch contained in a clear plastic bag.
"And?" Celestia asked, waiting for Serifa to show her something else than raw celery. Serifa then put the celery back into her bag.
"That's it." Celestia reeled back in shock.
"T-that's it?" she stammered and looked to Orion in panic and then back to her assisstant. "That can't possibly be it."
"Your majesty, with all due respect, the tabloids say you're getting a little... Fluffy." Celestia's jaw dropped in shock. "And you have an image to maintain and I have wasted more time on this than needed. Equestria needs you Princess." Serifa then went around the still shocked Celestia.
"Fluffy?" Celestia barely registered that Serifa was pushing her.
"It's only for a couple of weeks, your majesty." the smaller mare was doing a pretty good job of moving the larger alicorn with brute force. Celestia then looked at Orion with the most powerful puppy eyes he'd ever seen.
"Fluffy?" she asked him and Orion had to use all of his willpower to not hug her and tell her everything will be okay. For like a second...
"Okay, bye!" oh what a fleeting feeling it was. Orion waved them goodbye with a smug smile as they disappeared behind the corner. And now alone in the garden he did the only sensible thing. He found a nice place under a certain fruit tree and simply plopped down on his belly with all four legs spread out. "Why does everyone make this clear mind thing seem so easy?" he blew a bit of stray mane from his face. "Yeah, Luke! Use the force, Luke! And the motherfucker lifts an X-wing from a lake!" Orion then shifted position to his side. "What am I even doing here? Well, it's not like I have a place to go." Orion sighed deeply. "I have food and shelter here so it's not all bad. Guess I'll stay a while." he closed his eyes. "See where it takes me..." and after a few minutes, Orion drifted off to blissful sleep.
But as luck would have it, his nap was cut short by a hoof poking him in the side.
"Orion." the voice sounded familiar but he couldn't care about it. Napping was nice. "Wake up."
"Mmmm... No..."
"WAKE UP!" Orion jumped to his hooves breathing rapidly and glared at whoever dared to wake him.
"Luna? What? What is it?" he asked harshly but the younger princess wasn't fazed in the slightest.
"I cannot sleep." Orion felt like bonking her on the head. Instead, he simply laid back down and turned away from the princess.
"You drank coffee. What'd you think would happen?" Luna trotted to the other side and poked him again.
"This never happened before!" Orion turned his head away again.
"Beacuse you were drinking boiled water." another poke. "Would you stop that?"
"Nay! I am filled with energy! And tis' your doing!" Orion sighed and got up on his hooves. Looking at the princess he had to admit it was kind of cute how she was pacing on the spot in her coffee induced high.
"Can't you just magic it away?"
"One must deal with the consequences of one's actions." Luna said sternly before her wings flapped involuntarily. "But of course! A quick flight around the castle will surely help!" and she dashed off, leaving Orion in a cloud of smoke. Coughing from the dust that rose up, Orion groaned and shook his head.
"Yeap, this place is crazy." he looked up and saw a blue blur circling the castle. "Deffinitely crazy." he began walking towards said castle in hopes of finding something to do. Good thing his stomach called. "If I remember correctly, the kitchen should be-
"IT DIDN'T HELP!"
"GAAH!" the jump scare caused Orion's wings to spring open, tearing off the bandages. "What is wrong with you?"
"I can't sleep! I sleep during the day and rule during the night! And I cannot rule the night if I do not sleep during the day! Why is it so hard to understand?" Orion groaned once again and his wings shuffled back to his side in the same natural position as Luna's.
"Because it's weird!" Orion continued towards the kitchen-
"Tis' not weird! We have functioned like that for millenia!" -followed by an hyperactive Luna.
"We? Who refers to them in third person?" Orion's wings flapped once again, but the two paid it no mind.
"Royalty does!" Luna shot back and smirked smugly. "And who, pray tell, narrates themselves?"
"And who, pray tell, says pray tell?"
"We'll have you know-"
"I mean seriously-"
And so their banter continued all the way to the kitchen, their tails swishing merrily behind them. Even as they raided the fridge for various treats and continued onwards through the castle, their voices echoing it's halls, one thing was clear to the castle staff.
Princess Luna made a friend.
Yeah Fuck you 2020!
well well well, look who it is
Good to have you back, I missed this story.
The year of Our Lord, two thousand and twenty... may sojourn forth and injest a satchel of Richards.
10430084
Clever wording
Yeah! Get lost 2020! I was quarantined 2 times in row! Now I know that there can be too much free time.
10430097
I thank Thee for Thine notice, dearest Can of Tin. Hark! It doth please me greatly!
... sweet Jiffy Pop Popcorn, how does Luna do it every day?
Some loath the ride that is 2020 and some embrace it's madness. For it's sequel will surely be a disappointment compared to it.
is it bad I want to draw him?
10430103
I think it’d be best to let you think that
Hey we're back in business! Coffee Luna is best Luna.
Yay update! Xd
oh boy Celestia will now feel sad all day thinking she is getting 'fluffy' Orion better pet her and say she looks nice before she start to tear up
Great work can't wait for more also totally agree about 2020
My face feels warm.
Nice to see you again after so long, I take it this is going to be more of a romance fic at this point? I wonder if Luna can give him nightmares. I can't wait to see his actual tutoring in how to be a pony will for, it's going to be hilarious.
thats in second person.
10430356
I'll keep it 50:50
Nightmares? Now there's an idea
10430195
Not at all!
10430121
I need lessons in Luna talk
10430080
Good to be back
10430095
Crap, I remember now 🙈 I do remember people portraying him as a nice guy in some stories I've read. Maybe that's why...
As for Flurry Heart... Yeah I got nothing
While what you said is crude, 2020 can go roast themselves slowly whilst alive and rotting in the lowest depths of tartarus.
10430426
I'm but a simple man who uses simple words
I like this story.
"In order to use magic you first need to lear to channel it."
lear
lear
lear
Agree, 2020 suck..
Make more
This chapter was a balm for the rough days we have all been having. And i seriously hope 2021 is much better than this craziness that 2020 has been. Keep up the good work and I can't wait to see what happens next
Loved this chapter! It’s nice to see that you’re still writing it!
Interesting authors note... Especially when it’s on the chapter that was posted on the Eleventh of September. -_-
10430121
You do it EVERY DAY.
10430836
OH!!! ok. I always thought his name was Fancypants. ok. thanks for clearing that up.
Love this story, always happy to see a new chapter.
I love this.
But at the same time, I don't like how long it took; Its fine though!
Maybe its just me.
10430934
It's not just you. It's me as well. 🙈
One BIG obstacke that makes all these interactions unbelievable, is the fact that both Luna and Celestia have stated their desire to both prevent him from fucking them, and to prevent him from NOT doing so, as well as the desire to MURDER HIM after the act.
This whole thing has never been cleared up, and as such makes ant sort of positive relationship impossible and he should be fleeing Canterlot as soon as he can to avoid being raped and murdered.
10431000
I think people misunderstand things. He doesn't have to marry them but he's the only one who legally can marry them. Two very different things.
Should he officially propose to them, the two are bound by magic law to say yes. But, he's not interested in that in the slightest.
Maybe I didn't explain it good enough
Yay!!
10430084
Translation: 2020 can go eat a sack of dicks.
I like how Orian is crude yet not overtly so and all the characters so far have such satisfying personalities.
Great chapter.
2020 can go suck a lemon.
10431012
Then that's something that shoukd outright be said. Not to mention saying that they are bot going to rape/castrate/murder him.
They say to his face he can only be there to fuck them and rule equestria because they cannot legally deny him, and that they will do terrible things to him if he does. When he says he doesn't know anything about what they're talking about and that he has bo desire to either have sex with them or rule equestria, they respond in such a manner that says they WANT him to do so and implies he has no choice or that they will force him. This contradicts what rhey said earlier about not wanting sex with him, and 8mplies if he doesn't rape them they will raoe HIM and then castrate/murder him. This all makes both Celestia and Luna looks absolutely goddamn insane and makes any positive interaction with them impossible. Orion staying in Canterlot and not leaving ASAP make him look like an absolute moron for stay with people who say to his face he will be raped and murdered.
10431187
Where was that said? I've re-read the chapters three times now
Perhaps some of the sarcastic remarks go unnoticed?
I'll adress the issue in the next chapter's author notes.
I seem to have received a message. It reads
"No, fuck you
Sincerely, 2020"
10431226
I remember, if not clearly, well enough to know what was said. And I understood it perfectly.
As I remember it without rereading what took place so few chapters ago: Celestia did if not in an "absolute" detailed way, tell Orian what was going on, and he in turn made a clear statement that he had no reason and absolutely no "want" to get hitched with them.
And as I also remember in the chapter before the last one, he "did" try to run away, and had in fact made it on his untrained hooves to the gardens. BUT unfortunately or fortunately, how ever one wishes to see it, Luna was there.
Now at this point Luna had again made her point clear(me thinks), but in retort he made his point clear again as she wasn't there when he told Celly, and he also told her he was leaving.
Now at this time on his wobbly hooves he tried to walk away from her and out of the garden, "emphases" on tried, as he was as if not more so as clumsy as a new born foal. Now Luna watched him for a while, but aggravation soon won over, and she stated in no uncertain terms; "You art not leaving until tho know'ith how to walk with dignity, so I shalt teach thee so ye may make hast in your escape!"
And so she did, and this I believe helped ease some of the tension between them. But the real ice breaker happened the next morning in the last chapter, where he showed them how to make "real coffee", and in the ending words I do believe Luna said they'ed be keeping (if not marrying) Him.
SO! I see no reason why he and Luna shouldn't at least be able to start getting along as friends at this point, as long as the whole romancing thing takes a year in their world before he finely says "Bow chicky bow wow?" with an eye waggle.
So really, everything's still on track to being a great piece of fiction.
10431187, go back and reread it all, as it's obvious yon hard drive is corrupted and hast lost critical data over the last few months, that which was most likely caused by the current virus in the system.
10431629
Thank you!
Just because he's the only one who can doesn't mean he needs or wants to. He's not bound by the law to marry them on first sight, but Luna and Celestia however are bound to marry him if he makes an official proposal and that's what they're afraid of. Naturally everypony else thinks he's there for just that reason but he makes it perfectly clear he's not, at least to a couple of them. The public is sorta' excited at the prospect at having a king and queen(s).
Well, not keeping him, more like "I still want you gone but I guess you can stay a few more days" kind of thing.
But yeah, you summed up everything nicely
10431655
Yer welcome laddie.
PS also, this whole magical contract thing reminds me of No nose knows.
10431680
Thats what some people told me but I never knew the story existed until people pointed it out. I'd say the two are different enough.
Hang on... In "noses" Bean is forced to marry Celestia and vice-versa right? It's been a while since I've read that one
10431721
The contract was writing in such a way that yes, he was forced to marry her or else she'd lose her magic and the sun would most likely have been stationary for the rest of eternity, and that almost happened as the magic felt him swaying in his love when he met a mare named Lily. Though of coarse after which he could have divorced her, he decided not to.
"Fuck you 2020" .
No, don't antagonize 2020 or it will get worse.
This story just keeps getting better and better.
The Monk
“Puberty was a curse for those inflicted with it, and boundless amusement for others who survived the process.” -Scarheart