//------------------------------// // 12 - The trolley problem // Story: One hoof at a time // by SkarinOfAtmora //------------------------------// Storm Breaker was ready. After being sent home, just before Twilight's arrival, the pegasus fell asleep before his head hit the pillow. It was the most rejuvenating rest he'd gotten in weeks. Maybe this whole personal guard gig won't be that bad and Orion doesn't seem like a bad pony. And who knows, if he does well at this new job maybe he'll even get a raise! Storm Breaker got an extra pep in in his step just by thinking about it. Storm was so lost in his thoughts he bumped into somepony and almost toppled them both over. "Oh! My apologies!" it was a cream colored mare with brown mane. "I must've been lost in thought." "No, no, the fault is mine. I was just daydreaming." Storm Breaker laughed sheepsihly. He then noticed a stack of sheets the mare was carrying on her back. "Let me help you as an apology, Miss?" "Honey Comb." the mare replied. "And do not worry about it. I can carry a few sheets." "Nice to meet you Honey Comb. I am Storm Breaker, Sir Orion's personal guard." he said proudly to which the mare's eyes widened. "Really? I'm his personal maid!" the mare chirped happily. "He never told me he had a maid assigned to him." Storm Breaker took half of the stack anyway and put them on his back. Honey just smiled and continued towards Orion's room. "It was a sudden change. Princess Celestia re-assigned me two days ago. She hoofpicked me herself!" now it was Honey's turn to be proud. To be hoofpicked by the princess herself was a great honor and a testament to your skill. "And what about you?" "I was forced into it by Sir Orion." Storm Breaker replied, making Honey Comb tilt her head. "What I mean is, Sir Orion realized I needed a break and asked me to join him and Princess Celestia for breakfast yesterday-" "You had breakfast with Orion and Princess Celestia?" the maid said in shock, and a hint of envy. "Yes." he then leaned closer to Honey Comb. "Sir Orion even shared his own breakfast with me." "Nooooo." Honey recoiled in shock. To eat from the same plate as royalty was unheard of! "He sure did! I mean, it was a donut but still." "Orion is a strange pony." Honey laughed and turned right into a long hallway. "He is certainly unorthodox for a prince." "That's because he is not a prince." Honey corrected Storm Breaker who raised a curious brow. "At least, he assures me that he isn't. Which is good because then I can use the Princess Celestia card. Just the other day he said he didn't want a maid but I reminded him that since he is not a prince, Princess Celestia's order was absolute." "Clever girl." "That's what he said!" Honey Comb laughed at the response. "I think the two of you will get along just fine." "I sure hope so." Storm sighed. "I really need this job and I'm afraid I'll mess it up somehow. What if I say something to Sir Orion that offends him and I get fired?" "I seriously doubt that." Honey Comb laughed. "Just yesterday morning I told him to move his lazy flank out of bed so I can change his sheets." Storm Breaker blinked in surprise. "He replied with, and I quote, Look while you can, cuz' this ass is fire." Storm Breaker could not believe his ears. "Orion is a good pony. He doesn't view himself as royalty and certainly doesn't act like it. He's more like one of us, if you know what I mean." "Yes, I see what you mean." Storm Breaker nodded in response. "He even treats Princess Celestia just like any other pony. It's strange but also refreshing. I haven't seen the Princess so relaxed in a long time." "I know, right?" Honey giggled sweetly and Storm Breaker had to admit he liked the sound of it. "Even Princess Luna comes out of her room more often to hang out with Orion." "I heard something about spitballs." "Yes, Blueblood was real prissy about it." Honey chuckled. "I also heard Sir Orion trips over his own hooves." "He did, at first." Honey replied. "But it would seem Princess Luna took care of that problem." Storm Breaker then laughed. "I just imagined Sir Orion tripping and colliding with Princess Luna." "I shall bring down my wrath upon thee!" Honey Comb did her best to impersonate the princess's voice. "Better that than your huge flank!" Storm Breaker did the same with Orion. "Mine posterior is not huge! Tia's however has it's own gravitational pull." Honey tried so hard not to burst out laughing. "What are we laughing about?" the two ponies froze in fear upon hearing Orion's voice behind them. "I believe 'twas something about royal posteriors." their hearts almost burst from their small chests when Luna joined in. Turning around rapidly and dropping on their knees, the two begged for forgivness. "We apologize, Your Majesties!" Storm Breaker's voice was a few octaves higher. "For what? Getting caught?" Orion raised an unamused brow. "We didn't mean anything by it!" Honey Comb chimed in. "So mine posterior is not that huge?" Luna asked, a smirk tugging on her lips. "Your posterior is of appropriate size, Your Behindness!" Storm Breaker almost died right on the spot and Orion did his best not to burst out laughing. "I sincerely apologize! It just slipped out!" "A proper punishment is in order." Luna glared at the two cowering ponies. "Wouldn't you agree, Orion?" "Yes, it certainly is, Your Behindness." Luna rolled her eyes and Orion was this close to a laughing fit. "Umm, Princess, if I may?" Honey Comb raised her hoof like she was in school. A smiple nod from Luna told her she was good to go. "How did you sneak up on us? We didn't hear any hoofsteps." Orion and Luna looked at each other before lifting one of their hooves to show that they were wearing something on them and replied in unison. "Bunny slippers." As far as punishments went, this one wasn't so bad. Sure, it'll make them the target of jealous glares of everypony that hears about it but what can you do. The nobility will certainly throw a fit over it. "Pass the syrup, please." Orion said to Storm Breaker who passed the condiment. Their punishment was to have breakfast together with Orion, Luna, Celestia, Twilight Sparkle and her friends. "Alright I'll bite." Orion said and poured syrup all over his pancakes. "What's wrong with her?" he then looked to Pinkie Pie and her depressed, mane deflated state. "You didn't show up." Pinkie answered with a heavy sigh. "For what? I didn't know I was supposed to be somewhere." Orion said defensively. "Pinkie Pie threw you a surprise Welcome to Canterlot Party and you didn't show up." Twilight explained making Orion scrunch his brows in thought. "I don't remember being invited to a surprise party." "How can you be invited to your own surprise party?" Twilight rolled her eyes. "You're just supposed to show up!" "How can I just show up if I don't know where the party is?" Orion asked flabergasted. "Because! Because..." now Twilight was confused. Orion did have a point but everytime Pinkie threw a surprise party for somepony they just showed up. Every time. "Ummm, Pinkie?" "Everypony always comes to their surprise party. It's always been like that." she said somberly, picking at her breakfast salad with a fork with zero interest in eating it. "Guess not anymore." "Can somepony back me up? I feel like a bad guy over here." Orion looked around the table but everypony had the same thoughts in mind. Pinkie's parties were legendary and the pony whose party it was always showed up. Always. "That is strange." Celestia tapped her chin in thought. "Why didn't you show up, Orion?" "Because I was with you and Luna most of the day! And nopony told me anything about a dang party!" Orion threw his hooves up in frustration. "It was more of a rhetorical question." Celestia stood up and walked to Orion. "It is a well established fact that everypony attends their surprise party no matter what." the princess inspected him with a scrutinizing gaze. "Hmm..." "What? Is there something on my nose?" Orion went cross-eyed which made most of the ponies chuckle. Celestia then leaned close to his ear and whispered. "I want you to lie to Applejack." she pulled away and was met with Orion's confused look. "Go ahead." she nodded towards the earth pony who pointed at herself with a questioning look. Orion looked between Celestia and AJ before concluding that Celestia had some sort of idea. "I wet my bed until I was 18." he said with a straight face. Not even Rainbow Dash laughed since she realized something serious was going on. "Well, Applejack?" Celestia asked the mare mare who looked distraught. "He ain't lyin'. But why do I think he is?" Applejack then hardened her gaze. "What are you playin' at?" "Of course I'm lying." Orion rolled his eyes. "What was the point of this?" "Applejack is the Element of Honesty." Luna took over the explanation. "This makes her the perfect lie detector. If somepony is lying, she will most certainly know." "Seriously?" Orion looked back at the earth pony who looked peeved that somepony lied to her face and she felt it was the truth. "Quite. It is most ironical that Applejack cannot lie to save her life." Luna's brows scrunched in thought. "This is most troubling. Could this be because of the chaos magic within him?" before Celestia could reply, Applejack jumped in. "No. Ah' can tell when Discord's lying." she looked Orion dead in the eyes. "C'mon buster. Hit me again." "That stetson hat looks ridiculous on you and you should shred it in a woodchipper." gasps echoed around the table as all eyes were on Applejack, waiting for the mare to buck him in the face. The hat was a family heirloom and nopony insulted family. "Umm, Applejack?" Fluttershy asked in concern as her friend's face began turing a fierce shade of red, her cheeks puffed and some veins popping on her forehead. "Are you alright?" "He... Ain't. Lyin'!" she finally released the breath she'd been holding and color returned to her face. She took a few breaths before speaking. "Ah' know he's lyin' but my gut's telling me he ain't. And ah' know this hat looks good on me." "It sure does, Ma'am." Orion mimicked AJ's accent and tipped his imaginary hat to the mare. "So, what have we learned?" he looked at Luna. "No seriously, I have no idea what just happened." "It would appear you are, let's say, immune to some of the Elements of Harmony." Luna's voice took on a tone of concern. "Just like it is impossible to miss one of Pinkie Pie's parties, it is also impossible to lie to Applejack." "Cool." "Tis' most certainly not cool." Luna shook her head. "The Elements of Harmony are the only thing that could stand against chaos, and if you are immune to two of them..." "That means you can't use your overpowered beam of McGuffin to vaporize me if my magic goes haywire." Orion finished for the princess. The Solar princess approached him and put a hoof on his shoulder in comfort. "Orion, please understand-" Celestia began but was stopped by Orion's raised hoof. "No, no, I get it." Orion shook his head. "You need to keep me from exploding and hurting thousands. It's like that trolley problem." "What trolley problem?" Twilight tilted her head curiously. "The one where you have to choose to either kill one pony so you can save four, or do you let the trolley run over four ponies to save just one." Orion patted himself mentally for flawlessly using pony words. "That sounds horrible!" Twilight recoiled in shock while others nodded furiously in agreement. Everypony besides Celestia and Luna. "That's why I said it's a problem. It's a thought experiment but it fits perfectly." Orion looked to Celestia. "You either get rid of me or thousands could die." his gaze then shifted to Luna. "But can you make that call?" the room suddenly got quiet as Orion's words sunk in. "We can always find another way." Twilight said adamantly. "A better way." "That's not the- you know what? Forget it." Orion went back to his pancakes. "It's too early for moral and ethical debates." "I'm free around three." Celestia's offer made Orion chuckle. "Sorry, I have a surprise party to be at." Pinkie's eyes flicked towards Orion. "I believe it's at the exact same location as yesterday at the exact same time. It said so on the note that somepony-" he pointed directly at Pinkie Pie whose mane pooffed back into it's fluffy form"-left on my bed." "I just remembered I had something important to do! Bye!" and just like yesterday, Pinkie disappeared in a puff of smoke. "That was very nice of you." Fluttershy smiled at Orion who merely shrugged. "What can I say. I like parties." he then stabbed his syrup covered pancake with a bit more force than intended. "Besides, I still think this is all some crazy dream so you don't have to worry about me going nuclear." "I assure you, Equestria and all of us here are very real." Celestia said calmly. "We'll see." Orion shrugged and took a bite of his pancake. "Textbook denial." Twilight said to her mentor who nodded in confirmation. "I'm telling you." Orion said after swallowing his pancake. "Soon I will wake up and continue right where I... Left... Off..." realization suddenly dawned on him. "Oh my God. I'm in purgatory." "Where?" Luna's confused look was mimicked by the others. "It's one of the places you go to after you die." Orion's answer brought down a heavy atmosphere to the room. Ponies looked among themselves and tried to process what Orion just said. "Orion." Celestia's voice made him turn his head towards her. "Do you think you... Died?" she barely finished the question as Orion's answer might reveal another bombshell tied to his mysterious appearance in Equestria or even his past. Orion looked at Celestia, his ears flat on his head and a look of terrifying uncertainty across his features. "I don't know."