Every action taken is like dropping a pebble in a pond, creating ripples that extend ever outward. Every choice has consequences, good and bad... Putting on a Crown may have changed Sunset Shimmer's life...but it also Changed two worlds...
Page generated in 0.034 seconds
Total duration
696 users online
838,844 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
i love this story but it also drives me mad .the chapters are so short i can read a 20 to 30 thousand chapters in a few hours .a 40 or 50 thousand words in maybe 2 .so all these short chapters drive me nuts
ps i think glamour has turned into my favorite character in this story .besides sunny and sparky of course
pss why you group dodging me
10640538
Truth be told, chapters are not a set length for me. Rather, to me they encapsulate a particular scene/event/set of scenes and ideas, and are as long as they need to be. I break them up where I feel they need to be separated, based on what is happening. I'm sorry that you think they're too short, lol. They do seem to be getting longer, on average, in arc 2, so look forward to that, I suppose.
Glamour has kind of grown on me as a character. I blame my editor, entirely.
As for the group thing..I dunno. I guess I feel like it would be arrogant and kinda obnoxious for me have a group for...at present, three stories? Its weird and hard to explain. My head's a weird place. Its not you, and its not personal, I promise.
10640551
alright but it is there so don't be afraid to use it. i love this verse and the whole point i made that group was so anyone who wants to can find them all at once
10640604
What's the group name?
Edit: nevermind, found it.
I think this has been one of my favourite chapters so far
Thanks for the chapter! Glamour is great! And Twi’s verbal smack down was amazing. I’m proud of her.
The verbal lashing Twilight gave that bastard was so satisfying. The whole time he was trying to "seduce" Twi just made my skin crawl like I was covered in slugs. And not the cute little garden slugs. We're talking fully grown Pacific banana slugs. That said, Twilight's "switch" getting flipped and the sudden change in her personality is concerning. Premonitions of Midnight Sparkle perhaps.
And Glamour really stepped up there, both for her cousin and as a person. It takes a lot of strength to stand up for someone, or to admit you did them wrong. Glad to see Twi has someone on her side in the family.
10640771
Oh good. I was kinda worried what people would think about the chapter, so hearing that people like it is making me feel better.
10640817
Yeah, I was fairly happy with how that whole sequence of events turned out. And I'm glad people seem to like Glamour. She really has grown on me as time has gone on.
10640831
Yeah, the entire interaction with SD was meant to make you feel creeped out. He's one of those slimy, entitled rich boys who seem to think a woman saying "no" is them playing hard to get, and that theyre "doing girls like Twilight a favor" by offering them attention. It was satisfying to have her put him in his place, though yes, the behavior she exhibited should be a tad concerning.
*cackles*
Glamour has turned out to be such a boon to the plot long term, because in a lot of ways, she's helping me flesh out Twilight as a PERSON, since she is helping to solidify the extended family environment that is also a part of Twilight's life, even if only as this "looming shadow" that exists to provide a source for some of her internal conflict. And having her being able to make that connection, to give Twilight someone who gets it, is going to help with Arc 2, where Twilight's own psychology and head space will be a huge part of the story.
I really like Glamour. She was always trying to help, just doing it wrong. Glad that her girl got her to realize it.
Feel bad about her home life though. Not much can be done about it, for now.
yessss yessss! harness your inner demon for sleaze repellent with extreme prejudice!
as an aside based on the allusions in the author's note, i really hope midnight's not going to be "generic evil alter" trope. extremely self defense oriented, and maybe due to that not exactly nice, sure. but evil for evil's sake would just be rather boring, though that is obviously very far from how this story has gone so far so i expect whatever does happen to be rather engaging
!!!!
yay...
this chapter was lovely, super glad twi's now got the queer crew to try to wile away the annoying hours with
Wow, that was a great chapter, and very nice to see Twilight and her cousin able to talk openly. Overall it was really beautiful.
10641395
Glamour was never a bad person. She just wasn't always the best at execution of her ideas and plans. Wildsong took a bitch-boot to her ass and made her see she was doing shitty things. As for her home life, well...Maybe that'll improve in the future.
10642064
Its always strangely satisfying to see a slime ball get his, isn't it?
And no, I can say for distinct certainty that Midnight is not, and will not ever be turned into some kind of generic alter ego dark side trope. If/When she makes an appearance, there will be actual plot, cause, and consequence. Just like everything else in Rubicon. Layers upon layers, wheels within wheels. To me, things like Midnight, like Sunset's demonic transformation, like Nightmare Moon, or Daybreaker, or the way magic turns normal people and ponies into monsters...those have so much potential for so much more than just "Pretending my negative, socially unacceptable emotions adn behaviors are a whole different person in some cheap attempt to avoid responsibility or look cool."
And yes, Twilight now has someone she can talk to about having a girlfriend who gets it.
10642129
I'm so glad you liked it. This was a chapter I was both looking forward to sharing--especially after the editing--and one that I was afraid people would really dislike. Finding out that most people liked it is fantastic! :}
10642168
excellent, looking forward to it!
Thought I'd point out this little typo that stuck out to me.
Anyway on to the actual chapter: thank you for letting me know it was out as I didn't notice. At first, I checked how long it was because it was like 1:45am and I will admit the 7k word count was a bit daunting, but I'm glad I decided to read it anyway! This was a great chapter with a lot of good characterization for Twilight, and Glamour!!! I love her!!! I was curious what was going on with her in the last chapter or so, and this was definitely not what I expected, but in the best way possible.
The entire scene with Silver Dollar made me super uncomfortable but I think that's a good thing because it kind of gets you in the same headspace as Twi (although obviously not as intense). What I'm trying to say is that you wrote it very well.
Have I ever told you I love your prose? Because I do. Your writing is so pleasing to read.
10642269
Fix'd. I usually catch most of my typos, because I read the whole thing aloud to myself. There were just so many edits up to the wire yesterday that I probably missed a few.
I wasn't expecting the chapter to explode in length when we went over it again, but I feel like the length was needed to really get the full grasp of Twi's headspace, as well as really touch on all the things I wanted to. (This trend will be seen a lot more in arc 2, where the average chapter length just seems to be increasing steadily.)
I'm also super glad you like Glamour! We worked super hard on her, and she's grown on us here too.
The scene with Silver Dollar was supposed to be uncomfortable, specifically because it is being seen through Twilight's eyes. While his behavior might not have affected different women less severely, Twilight's experiences (as well as how she's not truly worked through them yet) mean that her reaction was more severe, and in many ways more visceral than if it had happened to say, Applejack, or Rarity, or Rainbow. I tried really hard to find the balance of discomfort with realistic reactions and feelings, and I'm super glad I seem to have succeeded! :}
Thank you very much for the compliment. I'm glad that you enjoy reading my little literary offering to the world.
I gotta say, this is the third 'Go Back' chapter you've tossed to us, with the last one having been Sunset getting a room at Sparky's place.
To clarify, a 'Go Back' is a chapter that I enjoy the ever living shitfuck out if so much, i need to head back to Ch. 1 and start all over again.
You do so well on the topics at hand and the portrayal of characters i cant help but get sucked in again and again. Couple that with Sunset's 'effective orphan adopted by many' story that parallels with my own child good, I can't help but get drawn in again and again to seeing her get to open up and see that family's the righteous bastards you meet along the way that'll always hold you up and keep you steady, and that blood can, and at times, should, mean fuck all.
Top tier wholesome shit that's up there with watching puppies and kittens play.
I really appreciate getting to go on this literary journey, and that you've been willing to work so hard on presenting it to us readers.
Also is this my first comment here, cause if so its criminal and I should've posted something about this fic ages ago.
10642494
Oh wow! I’m super touched that you find the story to be so enjoyable, and that there are parts of it that resonate with you that strongly. Especially enough to want to reread it!
I take characterization extremely seriously. I want them to feel like their canon versions, just...fleshed out into real people. Given more depth, because EqG and FiM gives us hints and some of the depth, but time constraints and ratings limit them from exploring those things too much. The same goes with trying to touch on the topics that are sometimes played as plot fodder in a lot of places, such as Twilight’s assault or various characters’ mental health issues. Theres so much more to them than a plot device, and I try to never lose sight of that.
The concept of friends becoming as family, or parents sort of “adopting” a friend of their child’s with a lousy homelife is something I’m familiar with (though from the perspective of someone like Twilight instead of sunset). My mother has always been super open and welcoming to my friends, to the point that one guy ive known for years calls her “mom” and introduces me to people as “his sister,” and in turn i refer to him as “my brother.” So to me, this idea isnt strange or alien, and the concept of “found family” is very real to me, because love isn’t restricted to blood.
Im happy to know youre enjoying the journey this tale is taking you on—the whole “creative team” is, really. This has become a passion project for two of us, and the third...well, he’s super nerdy and is happy to jump in because he has always been my sounding board and creative partner, so while he doesnt have the same intense passion for it, hes still invested. We’re writing the story we would love to read, and even we arent 100% sure of the exact path the story will traverse, even with pages and pages of outline, lol! So to know that all our work and time is paying off, to know that the people who are reading this story are finding it something that they enjoy so much, means more than I can truly convey.
Thank you so much for the comment—it really lifted my spirits today!
I'm not sure what part of Silver's advances are more disgusting, his proximity, his slimey words, or the fact that you are at a party with people you are related to in one form or another. Just... Ew. Also, ( I don't know what kind of shoes Twi has on) but if you go for the curb stomp, aim for the instep. It is waaaay more painful when it breaks.
My old roommate use to teach a self defense class in our dorm and I would tag along because they were good lessons.
Glamour is a wonderful OC. I know it's always a risk when introducing them to readers, but a good rule of thumb I was told in writing classes is to always remember, we're all OCs in our own stories. We have flaws and issues and they make us who we are. These can be translated into fiction.
Still love your work.
10643952
Hmmm... I thought I mentioned it earlier, but maybe it ended up on the cutting room floor...but Silver isn't related to them. There are people at the party that are... "Business Associates" and "friends" of various family members. In this case, Silver Dollar's father, Gold Standard, is a business associate of one of the main branch family members. He and his family get invited every year, because rich people parties like these are often also "social networking" and "business get togethers" as well as parties.
The rest of him is still slimy though.
And yeah, I know, but stomping on the instep is pretty hard to do if you haven't had practice, so Sunset gave Twilight the option of several places to hit, and Twilight went for the obvious one.
As for Glamour, and OCs in general, I guess I consider her more an "NPC" than an "OC"? I follow a rule of asking myself "Why am I adding this character to the story?" and the answer needs to somehow be plot, world building, or character development relative for the preexisting characters. Like the various members of Twilight's family exist to flesh out more the identity of not just who Twilight Sparkle is, but also who Night and Velvet and Shining are as well. It tells the story of why Twilight's parents could afford two kids in private school, why Twilight has so much state of the art equipment, stuff like that. Glamour is here to serve a greater purpose on who Twilight is, and offer both her and the readers a chance to really see her worries, insecurities, and struggles that don't necessarily have anything to do with Sunset Shimmer. Plus she and Wildsong will be...facilitating some plot stuff later. For...reasons. I'm just glad she's been well recieved.
Given the recent reread, I did want to double check, Gilda was properly expelled, not just suspended, correct?
10644281
Yes, Gilda and Garble both were expelled. Its alluded to a few times, though im not sure i explicitly stated it.
10644273
Yeah, i saw that writing on the wall fairly early into the year.
10644545
I thought so, just too many blows to the head through the years, I keep memories like rocks float.
Any plans on them showing back up or are they buggered off good and proper?
10645281
Well, I haven't any plans yet for Garble, so he is likely gone for good. Gilda, on the other hand...? There's a couple of plots in the works. Not for a good long while though. Arc 3 and 4, really.
10645296
*interest intensifies*
I look forward to it. I had a hunch she'd show back up since you seem to have a thing for tying up most loose threads insofar.
Completely irrelevant to the main story btw, the band's that characters have been noted as being interested in, are there actually any singers, groups, or songs that you would attribute those to, or is it just kind of noted because teens and that music they like?
10645318
Everything serves a purpose in the end, hehe. Even if that purpose is to showcase a particular character's state of mind, or to let us in a little on who they are, or how they react....Or sometimes, its stuff that sets up for later plot. I can guarantee that most of the characters who have appeared had me asking "But why put them here? what purpose does this interaction serve? How does it play into the story?"
I honestly hadn't given specific bands a lot of thought. Music types, there's a little more knowledge there, as far as the girls and what things they might listen to. Sunset, for example, strikes me as a Rock'n'Roll type, but one who appreciates a variety of songs across many genres because either they are catchy, or they speak to her in some way--amusingly, it was actually Flash who inadvertently introduced her to a lot of human music.
10645657
Music works as links for me honestly. Poor memory most of the time, but if I tie music to things I can use it as a cue to jog memories. Can use other cues too, but its caused me to start tying music to things that, incidentally, arent initially music related to begin with.
I will say, this latest, and then another 'go-back' being Sunset's breakdown and revelation with Principal Celestia that she's not to be a punching bag, honestly have me hard going into the same song.
Knowing Sunset like to dig into rock, and by extension likely some alternative and the like too, definitely amuses me, as I've tied their chapters to 'Burning Out' by a dude called Koethe. Just good shit, and you don't have to listen to it, but if it's your genre, you might enjoy it, particularly since it shouldn't be hard to see why it relates.
Also, of course Flash introduced her. He really does get like, fucking uber shafted by everything, canon and otherwise. I'm glad you put that reconciliation in there, dudes a solid 10 on the good guy scale, and I hope he finds someone that can recognize that. Also even bigger props to him for taking the whole used and tossed aside thing as well as he does.
10645912
*nods* i mean, I have a playlist i tend to use for writing, mostly to help keep me focused, but its a fairly eclectic mix of a variety of artists and genres (im not sure what to call a list that includes Disturbed, Skillet, Nickelback, the songs from Equestria Girls, like a dozen other bands from the late 90s and early 2000s, and a handful of songs from the 70s and 80s.).
I’m glad you really like those chapters—some of them were things we worked really hard on and to know that they really struck you is wonderful. (I’ll have to give the song a listen, as yes, rock and alternative are in the vein of things i like)
Flash...ive talked about this before, but i feel like hes a “good character with a lot of potential that the fandom hates for all the right reasons.” He has some solid character traits, and theres...I dont know..i feel like theres the seeds of a really solid friendship between him and Sunset. So im going to take that route. Flash will be seen going forward as a regular minor character, but in the role I’m establishing for him, I really hope people will like him.
10646156
*considers* I suppose “more dark” is the wrong term. Its more that...The offal prank was horrid, yes, and gross, but it was brief and over with and while somewhat traumatic for Sunset, it was quick, and the actions of a pair of obnoxious teens rather than someone truly evil. The Sirens and the faculty are more in line with “evil” and villainy—they were fully aware of the nuances of their actions and did it anyway, rather than seeking any kind of better alternative, they thrived on strife and hurt feelings, and they had plans to expand their web of torment. The villain(s) for Arc 2 are...unrepentant about their natures, and lean into them, and the majority of the plot will involve their machinations towards a rather evil goal. Its why the story is rated ‘M’, because I did not feel comfortable with the level of evil being presented as something other than intended for people who knew going in I intended the tale for an audience capable of handling it.
As for why I didnt use the “Dark” tag, its because ultimately, the story is not grim, or dark, nor does it have a bad end. Its a cheesy love story, a redemption tale, and a magical girls saga, all rolled into one. I’m a big believer in the idea that good, when it takes a stand, can triumph over evil. That heroes can do the impossible, because they are willing to give their all to see it through. The girls in this tale have the potential to be heroes, to be a force of good and light, but...the brighter the light, the deeper the darkness, and evil...well, evil is evil. It should bother you. It should make you feel unsettled. You should recognize the ugliness it encourages as wrong and dangerous. But that just makes the victory mean that much more in the end.
I suppose i will just have to beg your patience, because I really do think people will like where this goes.
i delayed reading this cuz you talked about it getting worse still and now im going to think that for later chapters, still i half expected silver dollar to 'fall' off the balcony when twilight went whatever you call panic attack pushed past limits to taking action
love your writing cant wait to read more
The foreshadowing you're doing here, I see it.
Also I'm really liking how Glamour Shot is shown to be more complex that Twilight gave her credit for, and it's nice to see she can relate to other people in her extended family and not feel so isolated.
This line reminded me of Entrapta's "Imperfection is beautiful" from She-RA~
Amazing transition, really gives the whole, "turning evil" vibe a lot more relatability and impact.
Another well done chapter Majadin.
Yes, verbal beatdown number 2! Seems being with Sunset is giving Twi a bit more backbone to express herself.
I love Glamour Shot. It's obvious to compare her turnaround to Sunset, but with what she was trying to do before it, with her trying to improve others (just the wrong way), she might want to get into contact with Rarity as she seems to do that sort of thing but with with more tact and sensitivity. I mean, look how she convinced Sunset to get a whole new wardrobe, which Sunset was grateful for.
Go get them, Midnight!
Happy to see Twilight interacting positively with her extended family