Every action taken is like dropping a pebble in a pond, creating ripples that extend ever outward. Every choice has consequences, good and bad... Putting on a Crown may have changed Sunset Shimmer's life...but it also Changed two worlds...
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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11588933
....It'll be about like when Xena had to run "The Gauntlet." This long line of everyone who has come to care about Sunset waiting to have their piece of her.
I promise you, the most terrifying one will be Sparky. After all, Pony Twilight put Tirek through a fucking mountain like her name was Goku because he threatened her friends.
11593623
Oh, we'll get to Rainbow eventually. I have things planned for Arc 3 involving each of the girls that will be something of a expanded character study.
I guess is going to take a near apocalyptic event and them some for these two finally ✂️ Isn’t it?
I swear every time I hear about sich’s plan Is going to explode on her face but the blast wouldn’t affect her masters plan
Tbh I’m more interested on how midnight is going to act when the friendship games disaster finishes since When midnight appeared in camp everfree she was not even an antagonist
Honestly considering RariJack back at the start of the story i thought their getting intimate was going to happen off screen(page?) And wow thats two Sunset owes Cadance
Jeez Games are here already looking forward to what you guys have planned
11593769
Yeah... and I kinda dread how much criticism Celestia's willing to defend herself from, and if Sunset will try to defend her surrogate mother after they reunite. After all, Sunset's willing to shoulder the blame and say she failed Celestia, not the other way around (I think of that scene waaay back after Principal Celestia 'talks' to Princess Celestia i.e. her reflection in the window), but some of the blame is on Celestia's shoulders (or withers)
I would imagine those pancakes would be pretty good if they're Celestia's recipe. I mean, come on, the mare has had thousands of years to perfect her pancake recipe. Apart from maybe somepony with a pancake making cutie mark, Celestia's probably got the best pancakes in Equestria.
Well, looks like the girls are starting to move towards the next step.
Tippy town ideed! Still, for their first time on what, 3rd base? They are showing remarkable control. Good for them. However, yeah. Remember that parental units are home and as loving and caring as Velvet and Nightlight are, No one wants to listen to their teenagers getting it on in the next room.
This was such a blissful high for them. Disaster train is going to be... epic.
Oh no this would be a wonderful time for that to happen for us viewers. Sadly we still have to wait. And I'm laughing loudly at the chapters in development title. *grumbles about sticking to canon.*
11593811
lol. The girls will get places in their own time...although in a more blunt sense, probably not in that particular infamous position.
The Friendship Games will certainly be an experience.
11593878
At the end of the day, its...really about whether or not the scene matters for the story. The Rarijack liaison in the first Interlude faded to black because the important parts were the way they felt after the formal first of all, but mostly the conversation after the intimacy. Everything else was...mostly set-up for the conversation they had in bed about Sunset and how to handle everything. Likewise, the intimacy that's being depicted between Sunset and Twilight isn't ALL of their moments of affection, but it is showing important developments in their character arcs and personal relationship, as well as having some points that will come into play later in the story. Every thing we do is extremely deliberate, lol.
11593953
There's plenty of blame to go around in the matter of Sunset's past, on plenty of horsey withers. As for how that gauntlet goes...well. That's going to be addressed at one point. Its already planned.
They are probably amazing pancakes. Celestia had a long time--about five thousand years--to perfect them.
11594012
There's a Safety Dance or "Black Spiral Cha-cha" joke here somewhere.
11594120
I'm not sure anyone wants to listen to ANYONE else have relations in the next room. Parents, kids, siblings, cousins, roommates... lol.
*makes explodey noises*
11594143
I'm not sorry, lol. I promise, the pay-off will be so damned worth it.
11594239
Glad you're enjoying it! Welcome to the party! :P
And thanks for spotting the typo. We're usually good about catching the little bastards, but sometimes they slip past me.
11594254
Its the most adorable thing in the movie too, because she just looks so shy and hopeful and yearning all at once. She just wants to be included, and I wanted to capture that sort of vibe. (Her VA does not get enough credit sometimes for just how much emotion she can put into a line.)
11595820
Okay, lot to unpack here.
For starters, I understand what you are saying about her magical sensing ability...but... *checks where you are in the chapters*...right. So it will be addressed soon, but that's actually...kind of a plot point. That its not arbitrary or contrived. There's an actual in universe thing happening to conceal it from her senses. Its a problem. One that does frustrate the character. Its not just a 'hand of the author thing.' Its just that in the block of chapters you are in, its something that is being discovered, since Sunset...doesn't go to CPA or near it, really.
Sunset's intuitive leaps....I'm not entirely sure what you mean by this. She does make a number of intellectual extrapolations and intuitive leaps at points in the story....in areas where she has a grasp of the particulars. In terms of social situations, perhaps she is not quite as adept at always 'reading the room', but that's more because she's at a point where she is relearning how to interact with others in a way that isnt as a toxic, paranoid bully looking at people solely as 'what can this person do for me and what I want?' Intuitive leaps still require some kind of point to jump FROM, like when she gets to talking about magic. She's making logical guesses there based on her prior knowledge and training and coupling it with her observations. So in all truth, this point of yours...confused me a bit. Perhaps you could...elaborate?
I'm...also a little confused as to why you think 'poor communication' is the antagonist, although if it is related to your example, I feel like much of your complaint may be addressed in chapters upcoming for you. I can say that we are not intending to use the bog-standard 'WHY THE HELL DOES NO ONE JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER AT ALL?' trope as the driving force behind conflict. There are some points with characters who are struggling with whether or not to address certain things: Sunset admitting to being a magical talking horse, Twilight admitting to her parents that she likes boobs, for example, but those are never meant to feel arbitrary, and instead are meant to be rooted in the characters' psychologies, like Twilight's brain and tendency towards anxiety driven worst-case doomsday scenario panic, or Sunset's deep seeded and complex issues with abandonment and being cast aside and her desperate desire to be wanted and loved. (and yes, we do use the tendency of teenagers to deal entirely in a world view of absolutes as part of their flaws, because for all their intelligence, they are still teenagers with teen brain development, teen hormones, and teen emotional problems.
But in terms of things, one of the points of the Sparkle household in particular is the level of communication that goes on there, and the fact that overall, the family IS pro-active in communication and good mental health. The adults are constantly communicating 'behind the scenes', and trying to handle both Twilight (a child with severe anxiety and other social complications), and Sunset (who they believe to be a traumatized, emancipated former runaway that may or may not have been abused or even caught up in some really nasty shit.) In fact, the scene you drew attention to is SUPPOSED to feel off. That whole interlude is meant to be surreal--even the perspective character addresses it in the narrative....because to her, it doesn't make sense with her reality. Shining's behavior, the arguments in the family, all of it. Its wrong...
And it will be noticed from an in character perspective. Its...actually part of the narrative. Part of the plot. Its...its a point unto itself that something is wrong, and part of the mystery to be unraveled.
Additionally, I hate to be that person, but honestly, the characters here communicate better than most people in real life.
After giving your words another read, I think part of the issue is that some of the stuff we're setting up is not yet paid out. Its there, its hanging, it has a long and complicated and very in universe explanation. I do assure you, every word, every action, every scene is carefully written, and they all matter. Its not just arbitrary at any point. Even the jokes have a purpose. It might not come to light until another 600k words, but its there. Like Wallflower. We introduce her in Chapter 55 or so, but the culmination of her character arc isnt even in this story. Its in the second one that hasn't yet been written. I can promise that if it makes an appearance in the narrative or the dialogue, there's an in universe reason somewhere. I don't like sloppy world-building or plot holes.
I am super excited to hear you like the world building and the overall characterization though. :} Its always nice to know people like the effort we put in.
As for your guess...That's...an interesting theory. I'll add it to the theories we've gotten from readers. lol.
(...get to the bottom, realize there's an edit. Hmm. Ah well, I enjoyed the discourse, I'm going to leave it--other people may have similar thoughts and might see this.) Please, don't be afraid to comment as you read. We don't get mad, honest. Its fun to see other people's thoughts and critiques and even criticisms, and I always try to respond with polite intellectual discussion, because if there really is a problem and I'm missing something or we're not communicating an idea as well as I thought, then that lets me know so I can improve in my writing.
11596597
Yeah... now i wonder how long the line of pony blame is compared to the line of human accusation...
11596597
Yeah, a lot of my gripes were assuaged literally the next chapter I read
Still, I just finished chapter 99, and yet again I feel myself wanting to strangle Sunset. Twilight has an eiditic memory. Sunset lying to Twilight about the magic isn't a static problem. It's aggregate. Unlike most people, if Twilight says "all those times you lied to me' she's not speaking in abstracts. She can recall every instance. Every time Sunset does it is a concrete example Twilight can draw on. Nothing she's doing by not telling her is making it better or easier, and every time she lies she's making it incrementally worse. Add to that the fact it's so important to her that she verbally attacked essentially her entire family in front of Sunset. Sunset feels bad about it. That's it. It doesn't make sense to me that Sunset isn't freaking out and obsessing night and day over this easily, if not guaranteed to be, relationship breaking problem. She has all the tools at her disposal to prove what she'd be saying is true, short of the point of literally taking Twilight to Equestria. She can demonstrate magic, her transformations, and perhaps 2000 witnesses if needed. But she just waits, knowing that Twilight is actively digging into and could discover her at any point. I honestly don't understand how she hasn't already, considering Sunset herself should be pinging Twilight's detector, and I guess Twilight's never turned it on in her own home. Sunset used magic several times in Twilight's house. Even if it can't detect Sunset's magic, only Element magic, Sunset took a Rainbow Laser to the face, as well as shooting one.
Tldr; Sunsets a dummy, adding more dynamite to the bomb, and vigor to my wiggles of frustration. Mrrfff
For them to get intimate it's going to take a looong time, sunset's secrets are probably something she will be forced to say rather than have the time to get the courage to.