Every action taken is like dropping a pebble in a pond, creating ripples that extend ever outward. Every choice has consequences, good and bad... Putting on a Crown may have changed Sunset Shimmer's life...but it also Changed two worlds...
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AAAAH! WE'RE BACK!
Celestia's beard, this was a great chapter!
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*cackles*
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Welcome to the story, and I'm glad you're enjoying it enough to re-read it already, haha! We work really hard and agonize over characterization probably more than anything else in the story, so its good to know its paid off.
Things are progressing apace. *rubs paws together*
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Hi and welcome! I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far. Its a bit of a long read, I know, but hopefully you will enjoy the rest as much as you did the early parts! :}
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No worries! Life happens to all of us! It certainly happens to me more than I'd like.
I will admit, I've never seen any writing book detail anything like that, but again, I have been out of school a long time. I will say that I think I can see what they intended--that is, that paragraphs aren't meant to be uniform, especially because I know there are a lot of people who struggle with "where to I put my paragraph breaks?" (This is something I've encountered a lot as an editor over the last two decades, in everything from stories to term papers to newsletters to grant letters.) And overly long blocks of text CAN be hard to read, especially if they are meant to be like 8 paragraphs in a story (including dialogue)....but I suppose I always chalked that up to "poor formatting" and "lack of grammatical editing" than any properly written paragraphs.
My spouse also pointed out to me something they called the "ADD Nebula." That is, they noted that as someone with ADD, they have a problem with longer paragraphs because they read 1-2 sentences at the beginning, and then there's like a sentence at the end, and the whole middle of the paragraph can become this amorphous cloud of letters...something that I don't deal with as someone without ADD, and seems to have less to do with the paragraph or writing, but the individual's brain and how it processes info.
There's also nothing wrong with having your own writing style and rules for it. I have a particular style, one I've spent a long time and a lot of words cultivating. (Besides this story, I've got a finished novel draft that I need to get back to, 400 pages of a D&D story, two or three other stories that are well over 300 pages in length, and enough RP over the years to eclipse this story about four times over.) It gives your narrative a much more engaging voice if you develop a style, and it helps you stand out among other writers. This is especially true in fiction narratives--every storyteller has their own voice anyway, and consciously developing it can be great.
Ah, nearsighted-ness. This I understand. I recommend increasing the magnification on your PC or Laptop/Tablet/Phone. That helps me a tremendous amount when it comes to eyestrain and not squinting owlishly at the screen.
Online posting is super hit and miss--every site is different, and so is every device a reader is using. Heck, even personalized settings can change it--For example, I set a lot of fanfic sites on my PC to the narrowest width of margins because I have a super large, widescreen monitor, and its easier to read if i dont have to turn my head on a swivel just to read one line.
Yes, that would be the story I mean. It was a fun read, and watching Cinch practically burst a few blood vessels always fills me with joy. Plus Mom-lestia is a concept that, as you can see, I also play with. As for polishing it up--get yourself a neutral third party to help you edit it. It helps curb that impulse if you stick to talking it out with them, and polishing sections they look at and say "this is really rough" and STOPPING when they say "that looks much better." Otherwise you get stuck in the creator rabbit hole of eternally redoing one thing over and over. You could also try "reading it out loud" as a technique--that's one of my editing tricks when I run into a scene I'm not happy with. I read it out loud and it lets me hear what its missng or how its off.
That song....
The lyrics were changed in keeping with lore (and yes, this site's rules regarding copyrighted songs), but I will never NOT recognize any part of that song from a mile away! I knew what it was before I even got to the Author's Notes!
You clever writer, you!
You know, I didn't catch on that it was a tweaked version of Lullaby for a Princess until I saw the line "Forgive me for being so blind"
I have a feeling Sunset's not going to be able to let go of her past until she reconciles with it and Celestia.
Speaking of Luna, I do hope she can enter Sunset's dreams, not only for the benefit of helping with the nightmares but also providing some sagely insight on what to do about Princess Celestia since Luna and Sunset's experiences are fairly similar, and Luna's already patched things up with her sister.
Man, are things gonna make more sense for the Sparkle family once Sunset reveals her true nature and origins. Her experiences, her mannerisms, her expressions, everything! And she won't have to mask them in order for them to make sense like she's done in the past.
Welcome back! You were very missed :)
I loved this chapter. I'm glad we got the conversion in the beginning between Twilight and Sunset, it's been a long time coming and something Sunset very much needs to hear.
Reading the lullaby I was wondering why I recognized some of the lyrics until it clicked. That was such a cool way to utilize that amazing song into the story!
So excited for the double date and what will occur for the girls.
Girls, enjoy your day out. You're going to need it after all this crap.
Celestia be like "Ah yes, beautiful trees"
My sister in the sun, that is the fucking Argonne Forest.
So busy being determined not to do to your sister the again the transgressions of your past, you have thoroughly and brutally done unto another.
*irate Scottish-Southerner noises*
Still, a great chapter that I certainly enjoyed, with only a small amount of "Arrrrrrrgggggghhhh just have an amazing date already dammit" impatience mixed in.
I hope your holidays went swimming gly Maj, and hope that this new year treats you well throughout its duration, and as always, I thank you for another amazing chapter in this unfolding saga.
Welcome back and Happy New Year Majadin! Glad to see it back and can't wait for the drama about to unfold!
I love SciSet moments and I enjoy the mysteries Sunset hides from Twilight and family (Obvious reasons)... one thing I don't like in stories are when characters reveal everything quickly and Twilight had gotten enough clues, just doesn't know how to put the puzzle together (Not like the puzzle would made sense anyways) to uncovering Sunset's past.
Yeah... zombie horses (ponies)... would be terrible...
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I recognized that song from almost the first line. That animation is so frigging gorgeous It's burned into my mind.
err...welcome back. I needed something to read while sick with a cold.
Great chapter!
You glorious bastard, I can't believe you snuck lullaby for a princess in there! And the way it transitioned into the conversation with sunset stumbling over the lines about loving and missing her over distance; how dare you make me cry at work!
What a great way to roll back into a new year. First, I am super impressed that Night and Stalwart were able to get so much legal paperwork out of the way in a matter of hours including a bank account. Those are some impressive strings to pull.
Topless sleeping makes an entire intimates industry cry, but who cares it's way more comfortable.
I did not have a broken family childhood but my Dad did and it affects you for the reat of your life even when you can put that trauma aside and pretend to function like normal for others to see. It's okay to be broken, but you don't let it define you. Sunset is standing at the door to acceptance, all she has to do is walk through and know that that is okay.
Bring on the double date and more quick witted jokes!
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To be fair, it was less clever and more a case that it was always Lullaby for a Princess but there was no way to organically drop that hint in before this. The clever part is how many readers are now going to go back and reread the story just to realize how often I snuck it into the story and how it recontextualizes things.
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That is very likely…but its not a black/white thing. Healing like this comes in degrees, and she is healing, slowly but surely. Maybe Princess Celestia and talking to her will cement that part of her healing, but maybe it wont.
As for things about Princess Luna’a assistance…well. You’ll see.
The Sparkle house will definitely have a bunch of mysteries solved when they find out the whole truth…
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Glad to be back!
The conversation was needed and its one more step the girls need to take in their personal journeys and relationship.
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They really will.
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*offers a cup of cocoa* I promise, you will have nothing but good fluffy chapters all the way through Valentine’s day.
And yes, Celestia is flawed. Could it be shes actually a pony just like all the others? ;P
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Tooth rotting fluff ahead!
And yeah, its all about trying to balance believability here. Too fast and its like wtf? But too slow and it feels like the characters have been clubbed with the idiot stick.
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Glad I could provide you with some entertainment, lol.
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:)
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It was Lullaby for a Princess aaaaaaaaall alooooooong. Hehehe. I knew people would appreciate it.
Im also not sorry about the presence of the onion ninjas sneaking around your job.
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Money and favors. Stalwart called in some serious favors and brought considerable clout to bear. Its meant to hint at just how wealthy and connected that side of the family is—they arent just rich, they are part of that 1%.
Comfortable. Yes.
Sunset’s coming around, slowly. She’ll get there.