• Member Since 17th Jun, 2018
  • offline last seen 51 minutes ago


Constantly distracted by shenanigans. Empowered by comments/messages. Exists as something between utter trash and the alicorn of comedy.


In the small town of Rainbow Falls, amid the constant hustle and bustle of the trade exchanges and Equestria games tryouts, a little alchemy shop goes relatively unnoticed by tourists.
The townsponies know better, though. The shop's proprietor has magical power to rival the best in history, and has on more than one occasion gone off to hunt monsters alone for ingredients.
It's a pity that in the crazy world of Equestria, all he wants to do is run his shop.

Now with cover art by Little Tigress!

Chapters (66)
Comments ( 2088 )

That is how you deal with annoying unicorns with sticks so far up their plots, they poke out of their head... Oh, wait. That’s just their horn!!

This. Is. Amazing! I can't wait to read more and have a great day!

Ranked #1 in Reader satisfaction, and...
...don't ask about our customer satisfaction rank.

cool, btw, why the wolf?

Because I grew up with dogs my whole life. I'd argue I've learned more from them than humans.

That and I can't afford a commission of my OC pony

That is why pets rule, teach you to be mellow and not complain. . .

"Hey, what if Doc Brown worked retail?"
-My brain, 10pm last night

"Juniper! Look! IT DID BOTH THINGS!"


I am always happy to see some good quality comedy, I can assure you I'll be watching this, closely.


And I saw evidence that this take place in the same universe as Prank War, so I'll be looking forward to Arca maybe getting in on those shenanigans.
So, well, media.makeameme.org/created/ill-be-watching-m66ig5.jpg

Pretty good so far, I like it. Though could use some proofreading.


I wish I had a proofreader, honestly

Anypony for Essence of Essence? Just need a large enough macerating vat. I think I saw one in Gotham.

Aaaand I hope Essence, from here on out, only exists to take the brunt of the BOOOMS. If she's the primary antagonist, it'll get old fast.

She's sort of the primary antagonist in the same way blueblood is the primary jerk in prank war. There on occasion, but more often than not she won't be present.

Plus, I can do things other than explosions...


Okay, I can handle it. Characters like her (and Blueblood) are best in small doses. :D

Enough said :pinkiecrazy: Thumps up, faved, & followed

Warnings: Profanity

There isn’t a single curse in this chapter, I’ll presume you’ll add some later, but if you’re not, Metallicolt is in dire need of a profanity tag... :trollestia:

Warning: use of 'buck' in place of 'fuck' every now and again

Heck, I do that in my everyday life

For some reason, no one notices, probably because none of them are actually heavily connected to the brony fandom.

I love this! Keep up the GREAT work!

I got a good feeling about this...

Also, try orphan tears. I hear that's a great ingrediant.

i believe there is an editors group where you can find a proof reader

This fic is just FANTASTIC! Grade A if I do say so myself.

Wow.....just.....wow lol. That was good.

Send Arcane North?
Shining Armor and Prince Rutherford both say no.
Send Arcane to the Badlands?
Thorax wants to keep his land intact.

We have run out of places to send good yet crazy ponies.
Sadly true. Ponyville is full.

This is amazing :)


The townsponoes paid the pair no mind, though, as events like thos were both commonplace

townponoes? Also "this"

Oh please, I'm not THAT good. B+ at best. Thank you, though!:twilightsmile:

I'm still deciding on the connection, but Arcane living in Rainbow Falls and the rainbow liquid the town is known for are 100% connected.

Eheheh, whoops! The spellcheck usually misses equestrian words.

A-, and that's my final offer.

Well... that's... good to know...?

Eh, no point arguing when I could be brewing up the next chapter. Deal!

This. Is. Even. More. Fantastic. Than. The. Last. One. How. many. Times. can. I. . . .i I give up on this writing style. . . Have a great day and thanks for the chapter!

"How can I be having a good day?! THE SHOP'S STILL FROZEN AND JUNIPER WON'T HELP!"
Glad you enjoyed though!

Rainbow Falls has been around a long time. So no way Arca is connected. Unless one of Arca's experiments fell... through...

Excuse me. I need to find my tricorder and check for chronitons in the area.

9332368 Be sure to cross-check for tachyons.

Who says he caused it? One potential connection I had in mind was that the liquid rainbow was a rare and powerful alchemical ingredient you can't get in too many places.

"Just melt the shop then!!!"

While I do dislike not really paying your other story any mind (the Comet one), as I didn’t know it existed, this story is plenty good.

If I got more attention on it I could easily muster up the energy to work all three! But nopony seems to even care about it with a few exceptions... then prank war took off and nopony's asked for more chapters! Which is a shame, as I easily have several dozen more planned out.

"Nonono, Juniper. I need essence of frog, and I need limes. The actual fruit. You know I like to snack on them sometimes. Anyway," he turned to face Emerald. "Nice to meetcha! Call me Arca, everypony else does. Now, did you want to buy any potions, ingredients, supplies, or guidebooks?"
Emerald Essence looked at the stallion cautiously. "No, I actually-"
"Not my department then! I've been away from my experiment too long anyway, it might expolde! Or cause rapid plant growth. Alchemy is wierd like that. Nice meeting you!" He turned around and hurriedly trotted back into the back.

Crazy science pony alchemist... I like it! :pinkiehappy:

"You froze the shop solid, Boss!" Juniper threw her hooves up in protest. "Everything is covered in bucking ice!"
"Hey, I didn't freeze the shop! All I did was drop the temperature in the shop to negative 35 degrees marenheit. It moisture in the air flash-froze on own!" He turned and snorted. "Seriously, who would freeze their own shop? You'd have to be out of your bucking mind to do that."

:eeyup: I definitely like this wacko. :pinkiehappy:
Excellent work with this story so far. Will be looking forward to more.

I totally don’t mind more Prank Wars chapters, but I just tend to wait until the ones are released, I find that asking for more chapters tends to put pressure on somebody, and I don’t like doing that.

This is also why I usually end requests with ‘If you don’t mind, that is.’

So... can I get a link to where you found those Skyrim potions of stamina?

So much floof would be adorable if it wasn't so scary.

Those aren't from skyrim, those are some novelty light fixture, if I recall. I'll try and find em again

Edit: yeah, it's a necklace. Here's the link to the vendor so you can see all the pictures: Link

Pet da floofy eevee!

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