I am Duck. Duck is me.
Duck who is me have lived long time. Can hear call of migration. Go home, make nest. Find girl duck, make eggs. Call of nature.
Duck who is me needs supplies for nest to attract female duck.
Am begin search in cluster of caves. Stone, but have many things in them. Colorful creatures live in caves. Run when they see Duck that is me. Leave things to decorate nest. Shiny things that female duck like.
First cave. Colorful creature makes a loud noise and runs off screaming as Duck that is me flies in opening. 'Window', colorful creatures call it. Look around. Fire in small alcove, pot of food above it. Food hot, do not eat. Must find shiny things for nest. Waddle over to table. Duck who is me finds fresh loaf of bread. Eats. Good bread. Happy quacks. And luck is good! Duck who is me finds long, flat shiny object for nest. Sharp on one end. Duck that is me picks up not-sharp end and flaps wings to fly away. Shiny thing slightly heavy, lose balance in air. Fly over out of control and slam into food container. Drops food in fire. Fire spread. Duck that is me leaves, too warm for Duck that is me.
Second cave is not on fire. Duck that is me walks in open door. Colorful creature inside is small, is it Child creature? Child colorful creature says hello and pets Duck that is me on head. Pets feel nice. Child colorful creature goes to other room of cave. Duck that is me follows. Child colorful creature shows Duck that is me fake Duck. Not interested, but child colorful creature has shiny glass thing over eyes. Duck that is me takes shiny glass thing off of face. Child colorful creature makes sad noises. Not sure why. Duck that is me waddles outside and takes to nest. Next cave might have shiny thing too.
Third cave is cave of orange creature who plays with Duck that is me. Has many shiny things. Shiny things for nest that are filled with colorful liquid. Duck that is me sees orange creature is making noises at tall dark creature with shiny things on hooves and head. Shiny things for nest? Duck that is me quacks in greeting to orange creature friend.
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU STUPID BIRD!"
Orange creature leaps away from tall dark creature and attempts to hug Duck that is me. Do not feel like hug night now. Flap wings twice, orange friend hits ground underneath and makes long trench from impact. Coughs up many dirt. Duck that is me waddles inside.
"Arcane, art thou alright?"
Arca grumbled as he popped his dislocated front leg back into place. "I'm fine. But as one of my new part-timers, I think I need to explain that you are under contract to GET THAT DUCK!"
"That silly little waterfowl is thine nemesis? And here we thought Sister said thou fought epic battles with thine foe…" Luna shook her head in disappointment. "We shall endeavor to end this silly chase."
"He took your crown."
"Wha- how- MOTHERBU-"
I am Duck. Duck is me. Duck who is me now has a shiny head thing from tall dark creature. It will look good in nest, attract many female ducks. Now Duck who is me looks for shiny objects in cave of orange creature. Shiny bell makes noise as Duck who is me waddles in.
"Oh! Customer! Welcome to alchemiracles, I'm Juniper. How can I… oh. Oh no. That's it, I'm taking my lunch break."
Green creature flies off. Look for shiny things now. Waddle to back area, grab shiny clear thing with red liquid inside from shelf. Hold in beak. Shiny thing look good in nest, attract many females to nest, make many eggs. Make Duck who is me happy.
Suddenly, am lifted off ground. Did not flap wings, am very confused. Duck must flap wings to leave ground. Oh, tall dark creature is here.
"Well, thou art not as slippery as Sister and Arcane have claimed, it would seem. Now, thou shalt return our crown at once!"
Tall dark creature is reaching for shiny head thing. No, Duck that is me needs shiny head thing for nest. No take. Duck that is me quacks to tell tall dark thing is mine. Quack. Wait, Duck that is me dropped shiny thing in beak. Falls to ground, breaks into many shiny pieces and spills liquid everywhere.
"Wait, what potion did thou just splash us with? Once we get our coat clean, we shall- uh… we feel tingly."
FLOOF
I am Duck. Duck is me. Fur is everywhere around Duck that is me. Dark fur. Still have shiny head thing from tall dark creature. Can hear orange creature shouting, sounds upset. Duck who is me yanks out some fur, hear tall dark creature yelp in shock. Dark fur will look good in nest. Attract many female ducks.
Duck who is me quacks happily.