Give 'em that Razzle Dazzle
Boss, I'm taking the day off. A famous equestrian fashion model is in town on tour, and I want to attend her autograph signing. No, she does not have a ‘chic lab coat’ line, so you wouldn't be interested.
-Juniper
P.S. Please try to keep the shop in one piece while I'm gone.
“Huh. Guess I have to run the shop today. Fudge, I had the perfect plan to get The Duck this time!” Arca lamented his obligation to run his business as he read the note stuck to his door. He was wearing a giant sandwich costume and massive novelty sunglasses, holding a pair of maracas in his magic, and towing seven gallons of ping pong balls painted like eyes in a blue wagon missing a wheel. “Fine, it was probably gonna fail anyway.” With a harumph, he blink teleported out of the costume and chucked the ensemble over the cliff.
“Quack.” Suddenly, The Duck flew past Arca and down the cliff toward the supplies, clearly enticed by what had been tossed over the cliff.
“No, wait! Wait, I take it back! Come back here, you blasted bird!”
He ran to the edge of the cliff, but had to ultimately concede defeat and head inside to start business for the day.
Juniper Berry was very excited. The Razzle Dazzle, world-famous unicorn actress, supermodel, and two-time miss Equestria winner, was doing a photo shoot at one of the rainbow waterfalls. And after that, she was holding an autograph session and even posing with a few lucky fans! She had a nice poster all ready to be signed and everything. There was already a crowd, she noted as she galloped towards the swarm of ponies, many of them trying to get the star's attention...
“Miss Dazzle! Please sign my flank!”
“She looked in my direction! Did you see that?”
“Oh my Celestia, I can't believe it's really her!”
“Quack.”
“Have my foals!”
“I have all your merchandise!”
“I'm your biggest fan!”
“Don't take another step closer, please.” A few burly security ponies stood against the crowd, making sure that only one fan at a time could reach the idol, chosen by the mare herself. They were big, burly, intimidating earth ponies who looked like they could crush bones in a single blow, and pegasi who could easily ground any fliers. Not that they scared Juniper, given that her boss was capable of similar feats without even being an earth pony or pegasus. Regardless, she didn't want to drop her poster flying, so she reared up on her hind legs and craned her neck as high up as she could to see the superstar.
There, greeting her fans and smiling for the camera, was the epitome of equestrian beauty. A slender frame, that gorgeous wavy purple mane with yellow highlights, her slightly curved horn polished to perfection, a pristine coat so light blue it could be mistaken for white, and shimmering green eyes above a perfectly sculpted muzzle. Truly, Razzle Dazzle was one of, if not the most sought after pony in Equestria. There was, however, one strange thing about the mare: she immediately lost her temper if anypony so much as touched her. Even accidental bumps in crowds would earn one a withering glare, and woe be it to anypony who asked her on a date or touched her inappropriately, as nopony would do that without earning a black eye at least.
“Miss?” Juniper nearly leapt three feet in the air as one of the security ponies spoke to her, having cantered up while she was thinking. “Miss Dazzle has chosen you to come speak with her.”
Juniper felt her breath catch in her throat. “M-me?”
“Yes. Can you fly? We can carry your poster for you.”
Juniper hoofed over her poster and tore through the sky to reach one of her idols, coming to a midair stop as she saw who had gotten through the blockade of security and was speaking with the celebrity.
“Look, all I'm saying is that my jewelry would look perfect on you! What do you say, three thousand bits for the set? That's 99% of the original price, since you're so famous!
The showmare sighed. “Look, miss... Essence, was it? I don't wear jewelry off set. Please, take your cheap trinkets and leave me be, I have my fans to attend to.”
Still, Emerald was undeterred. “I insist. Here, try it on and see,” she demanded, grasping Razzle's hoof in her magic to slip a frock band on. Juniper, still hovering above, winced in pity as Razzle slapped Emerald so hard she went tumbling down the hill and into the line of security. As the burly ponies forced her behind the blockade again, Emerald cried out, “You're no better than that pesky stallion! Buck you, you insufferable whorse! I'll sue!”
“Hmph.” Razzle turned her gaze skyward to lock eyes with Juniper. “I'm not in a good mood after that, so I think you'll be my last fan of the day. Hurry up and land, girl.”
Juniper landed swiftly and slowly trotted up to the mare, clearly star struck. “H-hi, my name is Juniper, and…” she lifted a hoof for a hoof shake, but quickly retracted it. “...sorry about that.” she mentally braced for a tongue-lashing for her mistake. Instead, she found the supermodel’s face so close to her mane she was nearly in it, sniffing like a dog. She took one more deep whiff and retreated.
“Mmm… Why, my dear, that's some of the most wonderful perfume I've smelled in ages!” Razzle complimented. “I can't put my hoof on it, but it smells divine! Where did you get it?”
Surprised at the sudden attitude change, Juniper managed an answer. “Uh… I'm not wearing any perfume. At best, I smell like my workplace, and I really doubt an alchemy shop would smell that good.”
Razzle's eyes widened. “Did you say alchemy shop?”
Suddenly, the ground Razzle was laying on rose up a foot in the air, coating her in loose dirt, and a very familiar unicorn poked his head out of the ground, wearing an excavation helmet and carrying a shovel. “Alright! Alchemiracles’s emergency escape tunnel is done! Oh, hi Juniper!”
“Boss?”
Razzle angrily ducked her head down to look under the ground she had been lifted up on, coming face to face with Arcane Catalyst. “WHO IN THE WORLD DARES TO RUIN MY PRISTINE COAT-”
There was a moment of still silence as the two ponies looked at each other. Arcane was the first to break the silence. “NEVERMIND! Tunnel's cancelled, I'm filling it back up! See you at home, Juniper! Bye!” and he slammed the ground back down, heading back under it.
Razzle reacted immediately, jumping off the spot she was sitting on and levitating the ground back up to see a ladder leading down. “ARCIE-POO! I MISSED YOU!”
From below, the stallion could be heard:
“WE ARE NOT DATING!”
“Not if I have anything to say about it,” she muttered. Razzle turned to Juniper, smiling. “I get it now. You smell like him, my betrothed, my future husband. You must work with him. I have to find him. He said Alchemiracles… I have to find it! Worry not, my love, I speed to your side!” and in a flash of light, she teleported away.
Juniper, on the other hoof, decided she needed a drink, and a new favorite celebrity.
Stats
Page generated in 0.023 seconds
Total duration
1,101 users online
1,915,634 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This can only end well.
...For us, I mean. Everyone in the story is probably in for a bad time.
"We're not dating!
"Ok, this is a potion shop yes? I would like to buy one potion that says we are dating!"
"Hmm, that does pose an interesting...yes Juniper?"
"Boss, thirteen lawyers just materialized outside, huddled round a big book with your name on the cover."
"Oh, Tuesday already?"
Wait til Meadowbrook hears about this.
Oh dear.
...I’m sure that Juniper is going to need a rather stiff drink after (and probably during) this one.
Love potion gone wrong?
Hummm wonder how Emerald is going react to this latest development
9426649
Nah man, Arca is just way too sexy for his own good.
He’s too old for you Razzle.
I didn't know Equestria had the equivalent of Chinese Amazons!
9426674
This comment was beautiful
9426623
"No, Thursday."
"Oh. That's strange, usually there's eighteen lawyers on Thursdays."
Is he in any way related to the David Tennant Doctor? Sorry for the random question, I’ve had Doctor Who stuck in my head all day.
...What? ...Just happened?
I actually said that out loud, just like that, after reading this chapter
9426789
Nah, never got that into Doctor Who.
9426810
Is it not obvious? Arca has an obessed stalker.
She sounds absolutely perfect for Arca.
And by "perfect" I mean "will drive him crazy as much as he drives everypony else crazy".
I'll imagine that the shop is going to be camouflaged soon. Maybe even grow leaves and turn into a suspiciously shop-shaped copse of trees.
Or the Potion That Shall Not Be Named will be utilized. Horribly.
I can hardly wait.
Imagine if Razzie catches The Duck and uses it to bribe Arca into marrying her.
Love the story so far!
media.giphy.com/media/sGcyXQ62NAu5y/giphy.gif
9427004
Imagine Razzie TRIES to catch the Duck. And fails in humorous ways
Would arca happen to be related to pinkie pie? Just wondering
It's a spectacle...
YOU BETTER ALL GET THAT.
SERIOUSLY.
9427573
no it's probably the other way around
9426789
Well, that Zygon WAS originally a horse...
9428367
Did he ever get a new horse?
9428681
“...by the way, why DIDN’T you take them out?”
“They made excellent places to hang extra lab coats! If I ever got a stain from a potion, I didn’t even need to walk the extra 10 feet to the hangers for a new one!”
9428401
Don’t know. As much as I love Whooves and Assistant, and I love what brief glimpses I’ve seen of the show, I’ve never had the chance to sit and watch.
Getting some Chowder and Panini vibes here.
Oh.....oh dear.....
Well... That was unexpected
9434588
I'm getting flash backs to the fire dancing firework incident from the live action yogi bear movie
9426634
Meadowbrook: "I want grandfoals, at least three to start with."
Huh, The Duck's here
Hmm
I'm surprised you don't already have one of those
Well this should be interesting
9426649
I think Cadie had a hoof in this.