“Alright, Juniper. Be careful pouring that ingredient in. This potion is a little more advanced than the ones you normally work with.” Arca sat on his haunches and observed his apprentice as she tried to learn a new potion recipe. It was rare that anypony got to see him like this, a true mentor to Juniper who truly did care about her wellbeing. Juniper was enjoying herself as well, as days like this without something crazy were few and far between.
Juniper cautiously added a few leaves of smoky thistle to the cauldron. “Alright boss, that's thirty grams of smoky thistle. What next?” She earnestly asked.
“Thirty grams? Juniper, look at the size of that cauldron! I think we can add some more. Live a little!” he gestured to the large cauldron that was already full and bubbling with a grayish liquid.
“That's what I'm trying to do, Boss…”
“NONSENSE! In this job, you need to take risks! Improvise! Have a sense of adventure and add a few more.”
“But the recipe says-”
“Buck the recipe! Adventure and discovery await!” Grabbing a few pounds of smoky thistle, he dropped them all in the cauldron and looked into the vat, grinning. “See? Nothing to worry abou-”
With a loud FOOM sound, a gray cloud of smoke shot up out of the cauldron. The result of this left Arca with a completely gray face and soot-covered goggles over his eyes. Juniper coughed a few times, fanning the cloud away with her wings. “Oh, mane! Boss, are you alright? Thank Celestia we weren't using toxic materials, you could have been seriously hurt!”
Arca didn't respond at first. He waved a hoof in front of his face, looked left and right a few times, and didn't take his goggles off. As Juniper reached for him, though, something seemed to click as he realized what was obstructing his vision.
“OH NO! Juniper, I've gone BLIND! I CAN'T SEE!”
Or not. “Boss, it's just a little soot. You're fine, just take off your goggles and-”
“BLIIIIIIIINNNNND!” Arca stumbled backwards, toppling over several shelves of expensive glassware before somehow reaching the back door and tumbling out into the midday sun. “Juniper? Juniper where are you?”
The light green pegasus glanced at the broken glass and unfinished potion, deciding quickly that preventing any further Arca-related damage was more important than cleaning up. She trudged after the stallion she swore she might as well be foal sitting half the time, muttering to herself. “Get an apprenticeship at the local alchemist, Juniper. You'll learn lots of new skills to help your career, Juniper. Mom did not mention those skills would be disaster prevention and emergency first aid…”
“This is absurd! You can't charge that many bits for a simple repair!” the irate pony cried out.
“Sorry, dear. This is a high-class shop, and I don't change my prices for whining. Now, please pay before I have to call the town guard. I find them unpleasant and smelly.” Emerald Essence glared at her latest customer, her gaze practiced to convey ‘pay up or else’.
“Fine! But see if I ever shop here again. Just because you're the only jewelry store in town doesn't mean you can charge that much!” the mare hoofed the small pile of bits over to Emerald and left in a huff. “Get floofed, you rotten mare!”
“Is that some local curse word? Oh, no matter. I haven't had such a profit in my store, ever! So many bits, so little time. One, two, three…” Emerald began counting her ‘hard-earned’ money, but suddenly a crash echoed through the store. Glass shards ripped the carpet to shreds, and several display cases were destroyed as a pony-shaped projectile body slammed it's way into the shop.
“I CAN'T SEE! JUNIPER, WHERE ARE YOU? HELP ME!” Arca crashed into several more display cases, knocking them and the fragile ornaments (purposefully made to break easy so Emerald could charge for repairs) over. The sound of shattering glass seemed to spook Arca even more, and he summoned a blast of force around him to clear a path. This served to ruin the curtains hanging from the ceiling. Infuriated, Emerald stomped over and used her magic to lift Arca's goggles off of his head.
“What is the meaning of this, you insane buffoon?! You just caused over ten thousand bits in damages! I ought to have you arrested for trespassing and destr-”
“I CAN SEE AGAIN! Oh, thank you, thank you so much! I don't know what you did, but thank you! Now, I have to go back and help Juniper with her lesson. Now, where are my goggles? Ah, there they are! Let me just OH SWEET CELESTIA I CAN'T SEE AGAIN! HELP!” Goggles back on his face, Arca raced out of the building once again and tripped into a fountain nearby, finally ending his little rampage. Emerald just stood there, amidst her ruined shop, her buisnessmare brain calculating out how much damage Arca had just caused. She screamed in rage.
Arca insurance. lovely
9342494
Arca insurance: we don't have a sales pitch because you probably already bought it.
9342540
Also, we're kinda broke, due to Arca being Arca.
9340716
and now you've jinxed it.
Hello AdmiralPopeyesBeard!
VERY nice chapter
9342544 Nah they've off written it to another insurance company that didn't realize the risk.
9342721
And now those people are broke, too.
9342735
Actually they just charge Arca for the damage. Nopony knows how he gets the gold, he even refuses to tell Juniper.
9342785
He's an alchemist. it stands to reason that he might have a Philosophers Stone hidden away somewhere.
I so wish i could use get floofed as a legitimate insult and get away with it.
9342832
This site in general would be a perfect place to do so. And it might draw
some wired staresmore readers to the story!9342931
Lol. I dont comment enough to want to insult anyone here. I ment it more as i with i could insult people on the phone and get away with it.
9342948
Aw, floof. Guess I won't be getting free publicity then.
surveyor: Ma'am, you should relocate your shop.
Emerald: Whatever for?
surveyor: It is within the Arca zone.
Emerald: Arca zone?
surveyor: The zone that Arca will very likely cause to cease to exist sometime in the future.
9343042
You teleport a city block into another continent ONE TIME to gather materials and they never let you hear the end of it! I said I was sorry!
I love how at this point Arca’s just kind of like a ‘can’t live with them, can’t live without them’ pony, I’m surprised he still has a shop.
And then, Discord hears interesting and chaotic things about this Arca... and so goes to meet him.
Equestria is destroyed the next day.
The last words heard by anypony are, "Now that's an idea! I've never had the opportunity to try draconequus horn shavings in a potion before!"
And then the planet blew up.
Lmao!
9346084
I'm imagining Discord goes to visit, it just so happens that the Circus is in town with Troubleshoes, and clutterstep being there to watch.
And obviously Arca has to go with Juniper, where they all meet up. Resulting in the destruction of the multiverse.
arca insurance would be a real thing there wouldnt it.
9368999
Naturally. Every landowner in Ponyville has insurance against friendship problems, monster attacks, and Acts of Twilight.
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And
actsparties of pinkieI guess Arca fallows Ms. Frizzle’s guidebook when it comes to teaching.
9368999
Im fond of the force of nature bit. You cannot stop him. You can only prepare to clean up the mess when he appears.
You clearly haven't been in town for very long
"Look ma'am, it's not our fault you didn't read the pamphlets when you moved here"
11298352
I'm wondering how she's in business with her casting illegal spells and all
9502755
I assume it was a reference to Vash the Stampede. Anime Gunslinger. Protagonist. Pacifist. His gunfights cause so much property damage that the insurance companies put the planet's largest bounty on his head. Also known as "The Humanoid Typhoon" IIRC.
11303342
Never heard of him. I'm not big on anime, sorry!
How is that mare not arrested?
How is that Stallion still in business?