"Alright, so with that in mind, we can allocate a few hundred bits a month from the new budget to the library fund, while still maintaining the agricultural funding… but we may have to cut a bit out of the public works fund unless I can convince a certain pony to only destroy half of town square every OTHER month With his experiments."
"Have you considered simply asking for more from the crown, Silver Scroll? I know Arca can be a bit of a cost sink, I'm sure I could-"
Mayor Silver cut off Princess Celestia with a wave of his hoof. "No, no, your majesty. I wouldn't want to impose on the treasury more than I need to. Besides, that would probably only serve to encourage the colt."
Celestia pondered that thought for a long moment before responding. "I suppose you have a point, Silver. I must say, though, I can't think of any other politician who'd willingly turn down an offer of a budget increase from the Princess herself. You make a fine mayor. If even half of the equestrian government were like you, I wouldn't need to worry about corruption and sw-"
"GOOD AFTERNOON, MAYOR SILVER!" Celestia was abruptly cut off as a very familiar, very loud alchemist pony burst into the conference room and slammed the door in her face. Which was rather impressive, given that she had elected to sit as far from the door as she could to avoid such a situation.
"Arcane!" Silver didn't even bother checking on Celestia. He knew she'd be fine, especially with Arca on the scene. Unpredictable as he was, he still was one of the best medicine ponies in the world with his alchemy. "How many times have I told you not to break down my door when you need to speak with me?"
"Um… Fifty-five and a half times, not counting the two times I didn't realize you weren't in your office. Why do you ask?" The orange pony tilted his head to the side, confused by what he felt was an out-of-place question. "Are you trying to get obscure facts together for a trivia night or something?"
"No, I need you to understand that- ugh, forget it." Silver grabbed the flask from his saddlebags, unscrewed the top, and downed the contents in a single gulp. He vaguely recalled a time when new visitors to the town thought it was filled with alcohol, but it was just a headache prevention potion created by, ironically, the number one source of headaches for the mayor. Paperwork was a close second. "What do you want?"
"I made you cookies!" Arca levitated in a small tray of an admittedly delicious-smelling confection, moving it uncomfortably close to Silver. "Try one! Take it. Eat it."
Silver simply pushed the trau away with a hoof, looking at Arca skeptically. He was expecting him to be holding a clipboard, as he often did for his 'surprise potion tests', but this time there were no papers or notes in sight. "And the catch is…?"
"Nothing! No catch! Not at all!"
"Yeah, I'm not eating those. Too risky."
"I'll try one."
Both ponies looked over at Celestia as she stood up, none the worse for wear despite taking a door to the face. "He may not compare to my personal chefs, but it's been an age since I've had one of his old recipes." Arca grinned wider than Silver thought possible for a brief second as Celestia gingerly took one of the confections and bit into it. "He uses techniques mostly lost to time, and usually the potions he laces them with aren't harmful, so there isn't much issue. These are delicious, Arc- where'd he go? He was standing right there a moment ago." Celestia looked around, confused. She had expected her old friend to stay there and tell her what he had done to the cookies.
Instead, in the distance, the screaming started.
Silver sighed, picking up the piece of paper hidden under the plate. "You've been away too long, princess. It's not always the cookies that are the problem." He showed her the paper.
By eating these cookies, you hereby forgive Arcane Catalyst for accidentally pouring his new mane growth potion into the town well. P.S. it really was an accident this time I swear.
Celestia groaned. "Oh, floof."
Silver just sighed, shaking his head in defeat. "Now, about that budget… I think Rainbow Falls is going to need a few extra bits to hire ANOTHER therapist from out of town for this incident. I swear, they quit faster than we can find new ones…"
Has Juniper ever played the Poison Joke trick on Arcane before.
That would be a good story to hear about
9868815
Perhaps, but I pity the townsfolk who have to deal with whatever happens to a "poison joked" Arca.
For all we know, he may think it is delicious, and or, delectable. Then make poison joke cookies to share.
………………….. i'm not eating any cookies from that pony.
9868889
As long as he doesn't give it to our favorite prankster, we should be okay.
Arca, the creator of hidden and abusive terms of service
9868815
What are the odds that Poison Joke makes Arca normal and boring, and everypony misses the regular Arca in a day or so?
9868985
While that would be interesting, poison joke seems to only cause physical changes not mental ones.
Though alternatively it could make it impossible for him to make potions, somehow. A day we’re Arca isn’t making potions would be a very strange day. Though this is assuming he doesn’t already know the cure for poison joke. Heck I’d bet he wrote the book.
Psychologist? A new pony in town? Who might try to help Arca?
Anyhow, another great chapter, made me smile. Great job.
What’s a piny?
I don't know why I continue to be surprised by Arca, but I do.
He always manages to outsmart or outwait any opposition.
Besides the duck of course.
It's fitting that his nemisis would last as long as he can. Keep up the good work.
9869046
He would probably be unaffected considering he is basically the cure for everything
Celestia needs to marry him off to a deserving and responsible mare. Pinkie Pie is free I believe.
9869408
Do you seriously think Razzle would let that happen? She's glaring at you for even suggesting that.
I wonder how Arca would react to a full blown Fluttershy STARE
Arcane is truly the biggest drain on any budget.
9869724
Not at all.
9869810
"You know you're important when the national budget has a fund named after you!"
"Isn't that just for your weekly damages?"
"Weekly damages and also snacks."
The ultimate hair-growth regimen: 100 reverse pushups, 100 reverse situps, 100 reverse squats, and a 10k run backwards every single day!
9870164
lol! I could see that being a thing.
9869619
Gives Razzle a lollipop stick with a note attached. Give the stick to arcane and tell him to make a lollipop.
*snags a cookie or twelve before running to jump in the well* if I'm going to be floofed, might as well have some cookies to go with it!
...
..waaaait....arca! what kind of cookies did you make? THESE BETTER NOT BE RAISINS OR WE WILL BE HAVING WORDS!!!!!!
9871844
"Snickerdoodles! It's a family recipie!"
No like legit my great-grandmother ran a diner and my mom has the only set of her recipies in existence (plus copies). Even I'm not allowed to touch 'em. Should I ever get in a relationship and get married, they'll be given to my wife.
Gram-gram knew how to friggin' COOK.
9872791
Yes?
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9868889
9868985
9869046
The effect on Arca is said in Journals of the Royal Alchemist
I starting choking on laughter bloody amazing.
9875364
I intentionally wrote Silver as "Completely done with Arca's bullshit before it even started" here. He's been the uncontested mayor for almost 40 years (nopony else wants the job), so he knows how to spot Arca's tricks even if they are new ones. Celestia hasn't had him nearby for 600 years, and has definitely fallen out of practice...
9875409
Princess Boss could do some good to learn from Silver then, heh.
Oh Dear...Celestia what have you DONE??
Honestly, I'd suggest for the Mayor to start asking Arca to fix the shit he breaks. I mean he IS filthy rich after all.
Though all those poor therapists who break down. They really need to find some of sterner stuff.
9869724
That is...a very good question actually. Though I imagine that he'd fall prey to it much like other beings with a heart.
Ok.. that would be a hard one. On the one paw, really good tasting cookies. On the other, it could be laced with a test potion and or used as a agreement to a contract...