"Something wrong, Juniper?"
Juniper Berry, a forest-green pegasus with a violet mane, shook her head as her mind snapped back to reality. She looked over across the counter, where a white earth pony with a pink mane was restocking potions. How nopony realized 'Sunny Day' was just Celestia in disguise continued to baffle Juniper, but having somepony else who understood her employer's… eccentricities was always a welcome boon.
"Huh? Wha- oh. Sorry Sunny, I zoned out for a minute there. I feel like I've been sitting here for a year and a half or something. Almost feels like I missed a big, world-changing event."
Sunny Day shrugged. "In all my years of ruling, and I hope Twilight picks up on this quickly, I've found it's best to just live in the moment. I hope she becomes a fine co-ruler to me and Luna… I enjoy these days off from ruling."
"You make it sound like working here with Arca's shenanigans, Razzle's constant crushing, and the occasional duck-related problem makes this town any less hectic. Actually, speaking of the boss, I haven't seen him all day. Which is concerning. Where is he?"
"I'm right here!"
To Juniper's credit, she did not flinch from hearing a voice next to her when there was absolutely not anything there a moment ago. Years of working under one of Equestria's most unpredictable ponies has that effect. Juniper casually looked down. Poking out of a cleverly hidden trapdoor was a vibrantly orange stallion. His horn poked out from his highly unkempt purple mane with yellow tips, and his bright green eyes held a subtle hint of madness to them that most would not notice at first. "Boss," she greeted casually. "I thought there were no secret entrances behind the counter."
"Behind, no. Under the counter, yes." Arcane Catalyst, Royal alchemist and third oldest pony in Equestria, scrambled out from his entry point and dusted off his labcoat. "Sorry I took so long. Turns out the post office won't let you mail highly concentrated acids. I thought it was only explosives that were banned. So unless a certain pretty princess wants to write me a note of exception…" he glanced over hopefully to Sunny.
Not even bothering to turn away from the shelf she was arranging potions on, Sunny effortlessly switched her voice back to the of her true, motherly princess tone. "No, Arca."
"...then I need to get to work building a really big catapult. I'll be in my lab!" Arca skirted past Juniper and headed through the door marked 'Lab coats required at all times' at the rear of the shop. "And Sunny, don't forget to mark all the heat-resistance potions as 30% off! This week's gonna be a hot one…" Slamming the door behind him and nearly toppling a shelf over, the storefront of Alchemiracles was once again quiet.
Juniper nervously looked left and right before settling her gaze on Sunny Day. "Does… does he mean heat as in temperature, or heat as in estr-"
Sunny held up a hoof to stop Juniper with a warm smile. "Arcane may be one thousand years your senior, Juniper, but I don't think anypony has ever explained to him the difference between heat and heat. Luna, Discord, Cadence and I all have a betting pool on how long it takes him to figure it out."
"...Riiiight." Juniper let out a sigh and went back to what she had been doing: counting the bits in the register. As far as days in Rainbow Falls go, this was a fairly peaceful afternoon, and she had learned to appreciate days where no explosions occurred.
At least, that was the plan until the door jingled as two smartly dressed stallions walked in.
Juniper instantly switched to her customer service face and greeted them with a smile. "Hello, welcome to Alchemiracles. How can I help you?"
The first stallion, a tall unicorn with a dark gray coat and a dull brown mane, smiled back. "I appreciate the welcome, my dear, but it should be us asking how we can help you. My name is Secret Formula and this here," he gestured to his partner, a dull brown earth pony with a dark gray mane. "Is my compatriot, Safe Operation. We represent the recently-formed Royal committee of Alchemists, tasked by the crown to assist potion makers in organizing a master compendium of all potion recipes."
Sunny day, with the practice of a few thousand years of politics, looked surprised, but skeptical. "I was unaware such a committee existed," she remarked.
"Her majesty Princess Celestia approved it last week, ma'am," replied Safe Operation with a grin. Of course, he had no way of knowing that he was talking to Celestia herself in disguise. "Now, may we speak to whoever comes up with the recipes around here?"
Sunny thought to herself for a moment. Juniper as well. Both shared a mutual nod of understanding that given their boss's nature, this was no threat at all to them. "He's back in his laboratory, but he should be-"
"Thank you! We'll be just a minute."
"-busy." Sunny glanced at Juniper and quietly cast some shielding enchantments on them both from under her earth pony illusion. "Juniper, brace for Arca."
Arcane Catalyst was having a very fun time in his lab. Not twenty minutes and he'd already assembled a working prototype catapult capable of launching things across town! He'd calibrate the aim later, he told himself, taking a moment to get a drink of… whatever was in the unmarked potion he was drinking from. Tasted like citrus and oats, so probably a healing potion. He lounged back in the bucket of the catapult as a makeshift chair, enjoying a moment of calm when the lab door opened.
Immediately, Arca's ears flipped up and his senses went on high alert. Whoever was coming in wasn't wearing a lab coat as per protocol. With practiced ease, he summoned a pair of coats and launched them at the intruders. "CAN'T YOU READ THE SIGN?! LAB COATS-"
A subtle click echoed through the room. Arca and the two businessponies looked over at the source of the noise, only to see that the flung lab coats had hit the catapult's lever with enough force to activate it.
Arca looked down to realize he was still in the catapult. "-required. Oh, bu-"
WHAM!
That was all he got out before the catapult fired, spinning its arm and slamming itself and Arca through the back wall of the shop and into the ground at extremely high speed. The shockwave shook the whole building, and several potions fell off the shelves in a series of crashes.
Safe Operation and Secret formula stared wide-eyed at the damage. "Uhm… perhaps we will come back later."
Juniper was already getting the mop out. "You think so, huh?"
Long time no see, welcome back, friend!
Welcome back!
...Somehow I suspect most of Arca's more, shall we say "unique", potion recipes wouldn't work for anyone but Arca.
10902980
Arca is very proud of his recipie for "Potion of better sunlight absobtion" and was very confused as to why nopony wanted it.
He forgets that he's literally the only pony still alive who survived late-stage swamp fever, which left him with moderate photosynthesis abilities.
Everypony else who tried the potion just got sunburned faster.
Think you may be inhaling too many miscellaneous potion fumes, Juniper. Even moreso if you can actually hear me.
The glorious Arcane Catalyst has returned to amuse us with his
madnessgreatness once again!...
Seriously though, welcome back dear author. It is good to see you active once again. This update brought a smile onto my face so thank you for it!
10902995
I missed you guys! Bht between streaming, looking for a job, and a certain depression-causing thing that sounds like corvid, I kinda... lost a lot of willpower.
Hahaha.
Well, obviously if Celestia had approved of them they would already have been mentionned by her.
But yeah, great to have you - and your series - back !
Been a minute <3
I think you missed a capital D
And a capital F here.
There was never a formal agreement made that said I wasn’t an editor... even though I don’t technically have the Doc anymore.
Anyways, welcome back! I hope you’re doing a lot better.
(gives him a big bone crushing bear hug) welcome back dude.
Welcome back, my dude. Have a hug.
10903057
Yeah, stuff got shifted around, lost my phone, etc, etc. I'll see what I can do about getting the crew back together!
I know for a fact I have not.
I will send you two to a nice warm prison if you try to steal anything.
It will be alot better then what he will do.
Huzza!!!!!! you're back and the first thing that happens Flim and Flams cousins put their hooves in it bigtime.
In addition vibrantly orange stallion. His horn poked out from his highly unkempt purple mane with yellow tips, Scootaloos father? Grandpa ? Greatnth Grandpa ? slight color differences from mom.
10903108
"We've never had a successful theft because I usually end up setting off some nonsensical chain of events. That usually destroys the shop in the process..."
10903168
Nah, Arca's never had kids in his multible centuries of existance. My design process for him was simply making him the most vibrantly obnoxious colors possible without clashing.
And yeah, we needed a new 'antagonist' for Arca to completely ignore, so the dull twins are gonna be getting in the way a bit here and there...
10903179
Awww nuts.
Couldn't those two just join the potions guild in Canterlot to get the formulas they need or were they already kicked out?
Ayyy, welcome back!
10903177
Exactly
The sun is a better place
Hey you're back! Welcome back.
10903185
Some formulas, yes, but a lot of potion makers have thoer own recipies or twists. Putting it in our world's context, this would be like trying to gather every soda formula to drive coca cola, pepsi, etc, out of business by selling them all yourself.
Think plankton trying to steal the krabby patty formula.
Life!
FINALLY!!!!!
Whoo, it's back!!
I was just thinking about this story yesterday too, talk about timing!
Of all the fics that could pull it off, I would have thought it would be this one.
What do I mean?
"Oh, I just had the strange feeling like I have been standing here for a year and a half..."
"You have been. You and Arca both. Weird mishap with a temporal stasis potion that just now wore off."
Only a teeny disappointment, hidden behind a huge "IT LIVES!!!!"
10903278
Who's to say Arca didn't supercharge one and freeze ALL OF THE WORLD for a year and a half, thereby making it seem like nothing happened?!
Hmm, I had assumed Arca had somehow made a potion that transported him and the author to another dimension where they had to fight against pink feathered monkeys in order to get the ingredients to make a return potion...
But this explanation works too.
Ahh, it's back, excuse me for one second. *Gets up from chair and walks outside* YYYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!! *comes back inside looking as composed as ever, sits down* very well, let's begin, shall we?
Can I join that bet? Also, welcome back ^^
And so the chaos will continue discord must be fuming that there is someone causing more chaos than him in a random location that he has had no reason to visit
The return of Arca! Tis a most joyous day.
I also feel like if those tried to copy Arca's recipes for things, they'd probably end up blowing up the lab over and over again since they don't have NEARLY enough experience to use those kinds of recipes.
10903422
Consider also: how many dead languages does Arca likely speak/read, having lived for as long as he has? Some of his recipies are bound to be in foreign text from his travels.
This would fail because Pepsico et al have way more resources than anyone who would try that, much like these guys have unwittingly decided to rob everyone they're pretending to speak for.
10903379
If he's aware of Arca, then that's a reason to visit in and of itself.
HEY ASHFUR I HEARD YA HAVE AN ITCH, DONT WORRY WE HAVE THE PERFECT POTION FOR THAT MWUAHAHA
10902990
I actually meant the recipes themselves, but the potions that literally only work correctly for him.
Good to see you back.
IT LIVES IT LIVES
10903496
I had not considered this!
"Oh, yeah, sure, have this old Sumarean recipe, memorized it ages ago so I don't need this anymore..."
10904359
"What do you mean Princess-boss and I are the only ones left who can read Nyamlark?! Do you know how many sandwich recipies I have that are written in it? MANY!"
10904603
Speaking of sandwiches, makes me wonder how many of the recipes those two would get will be food recipes instead of potion recipes...
10904920
..... This is now my headcanon.
10905147
"Arcane, I- hic!- I gotten idear. You see that fbluckin'... bear over there?! All three of em."
"Pirncess, You must be really really drunk to be seeing triple."
"It'z buggin me."
"But it's not an insect."
"So MAKE it one, Arcname! *hic*"
"Is that a good idea...?"
"Bet you can't do it."
"OH, GAME ON! Watch this..."
And that's how bugbears were made!
-puts on a hard hat and goggles- awesome to see you back!
10905887
I was not expecting so many folks to remember me!
And lucky you guys, my brain's already formulating more chapters...
YAY! ARCA IS BACK!!! (oh, and ashfur)
10905471
with the pair of them...maybe Mr. Krabs AND Plankton trying to steal the Krabby Patty back (it happens occasionally 😜)
also..so THAT'S how the Bugbears came to be! it makes SO much sense now! =D
Corrupt labor union... isn't that rather a redundant tautology? (I did a thing there.)
The king returns!
Well this should interesting
Looking forward to it