The Potion Shop

by Ashfur

Limited edition, Limited sanity

"And here is my shop! Come in, come in. I live on the second floor. Come on up, I'll show you around." Arca ushered the group inside, offering a small wave to Razzle. "Hey, Razzle, close up early today and come join us! It's a regular reunion! Just let me get this box inside..."

"Good to see you, Razzle," Celestia chimed in. Any luck with your crush?" She glanced toward Arca, who was far too busy trying to fit the treasure chest of kelp through the front door to notice.

"Working on it. Hey, Arcie, my love, if it doesn't fit, try the back door!" Razzle giggled as Twilight, who was heading for the steps, froze and glared at her. She grinned innocently. "What? It's just advice. Get your head out of the gutter, princess."

Twilight groaned. "You could give Cadence a run for her bits with those dirty jokes."

Razzle stuck her tongue out at Twilight. "You're just jealous because I'm closer to getting an immortal coltfriend than you are. Come on, let's head up."

A loud thunk came from the door to the lab as it swung open, the treasure chest trying to fit through but facing the same issue as the front door. "Raz, it fit through the back door, but how do I get it to the front door so I can take it back to the lab?"

"Just… put it in the storage, Arca…"

"Oh, yeah." He paused for a moment. "You're smart, Razzle! And pretty! And a great friend."

Razzle rolled her eyes, then seemed to get an idea. "Hey Arca, mylovingcoltfriendsayswhat?"

"Huh?"

"Damn it."

---

"I gotta say, this isn't the kind of house I was expecting of somepony a few hundred years old," Spike commented as he followed the group up the steps. "I figured you'd have saved up and bought a mansion or something."

"Spike! Be polite." Twilight glared at the drake, silencing him.

Meadowbrook chose that moment to put her two bits in. "From what I understand, the place blows up on the regular. So it's a lot of repair costs."

"Hey, you act like it's my fault! I only detonated the house on purpose twice. Once because I was bored, and once because I lost a bet. Anyway, who wants something to drink?" Arca scampered over to the fridge, peeking inside. "I have water, apple juice, grape juice, high-potency sand viper venom, tea, non-alcoholic cider…"

Twilight stopped cold. "You keep venom in your refrigerator next to the food?!"

"It's actually pretty tasty if you can recover from the damage it does. Not many ponies know this since it's hard to survive your insides practically liquifying, but not having a stomach makes it a perfect cure for stomach aches! Good thing I can recover from pretty much anything. Magic's great, isn't it?"

Twilight nervously turned to Celestia. "And you haven't had him committed… why?"

"I tried, but every asylum sent him back. With new lists."

"...lists?"

"I'll show you them later."

A metallic clatter caught the group's attention as Arca placed a collection of ornately carved silver goblets on the table. "You all took too long, so I'm getting you all apple juice. In the good cups, since Celestia and mom are here."

And Twilight's eyes lit up. "Oh! I didn't know you were a collector, Arcane! That commemorative set of goblets based on the ones from the Castle of the Two Sisters were limited edition! Even I wasn't able to get a set when they released to celebrate Luna's return. Quite the conversation piece, perfect for discussing history- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

Arca looked at Twilight and tilted his head, confused, as he finished pouring the liquid into the cup. "...did you not want apple juice?"

"You don't just use limited edition items like that! You need to put them in a display case so that everypony can see them, not ruin the value by actually drinking out of them!"

"...but they're made for drinking from. And these are my cups."

"You're missing the point! Look here." She levitated one of the goblets close in her magic and began looking it over. "Like this one, is based off the royal alchemist's goblet, has potion designs and should have a serial number right here at the base…"

"Can I have my cup back now?"

"Not until I find the serial number and prove that these are collectible!"

Arca glanced at Celestia. "I don't think Silver Smith knew what cereal numbers were when he made these, did he? Here's your cup, Princess-Boss. Hey, what's a cereal number anyway? Is that like… how many pieces of Tasty-Os you can fit in there?"

"Twilight." Celestia's calm voice snapped the young princess to attention. "Did you find the serial number?"

Twilight frowned. "No. I think these might be fakes, Celestia. Where did you get these, Arcane?"

Arca shrugged. "The castle, obviously. Celestia told everypony to take what we could and run when Luna got all edgy and stuff."

"Wait, but that would make these… the… the originals…"

"Can I have my cup back now? Please?"

Twilight tried to sputter out a response, but couldn't form the words. Razzle silently plucked the goblet out of Twilight's magic with her succupony wing and passed it to her crush. "Thanks, Razzle."

"Love you too."

Twilight finally regained her senses as Arca took a sip from the mug. "Wait! Wait! If they're the origionals, that's even worse! Those belong in a museum!"

Arca finished chugging his juice, wiped his mouth with a wing, and cast another quizzical glance Twilight's way. "Why? They're my cups. Celestia said I could keep them."

"But what if they break? They must be worth millions! The originals were lost in the evacuation of the castle!"

"They weren't lost… and I put some serious enchantments on 'em to keep them from even getting scuffed. Not much can say it's survived in my house for so long."

"But… but… what about the history in them! Think about how much they could tell us about that time period!"

Mage Meadowbrook allowed a musical laugh to escape her lips. "Dearie, if you think studying those old mugs can tell you more about way back when than Arca, Celestia, and I can, you're crazier than my colt here!"

"But…"

Juniper, already sitting nonchalantly at the table, raised her goblet halfheartedly. Based off the lunar motif, it had to have been Luna's. "With all due respect, Twilight, give it up. We've all had this conversation before, and it all ends with these things going back in the cupboard."

"Oh! Right! I almost forgot the tablecloth!" Arca zipped away and after a few shuffling and crashing noises (along with a distant quack), arca proudly emerged from another room with a slightly stained tablecloth bearing a design that, at a glance, looked like it came from the ancient Maresopatamians.

And Twilight screamed in horror at seeing it in such disrepair, before promptly fainting.

"Whoa," Arca mumbled to himself as he laid the tablecloth on the small table. "Never seen somepony so scared of a thrift store tablecloth before."

Author's Note:

"I still don't see why she got all up in a tizzy over my cup. It even has my name engraved in the base here!"

I agree. The only thing that old worth talking about is your lack of a mare, Arcane. I'm still waiting for grandfoals."

"MOM! MUST YOU?!"

Comments

[Dashie04]

I’m more interested in how this chapter ended up 2 words shorter than the original.

[Ashfur]

9724316
Word estimates, probably.

[TheBrony]

I hope Twilight can get out of there before he breaks her mind fully.

[Da Fennec]

Considering the mugs Twilight is assuming its an original as well. Maybe it is Acra isn't saying when or where the Thrift store was

[Ashfur]

9724334
You know, I never considered that. Interesting.

[FrostTheWolf]

"I tried, but every asylum sent him back. With new lists."

"...lists?"

"I'll show you them later."

Oh yes... I have been waiting in anticipation for this.

"I still don't see why she got all up in a tizzy over my cup. It even has my name engraved in the base here!"

I agree. The only thing that old worth talking about is your lack of a mare, Arcane. I'm still waiting for grandfoals."

"MOM! MUST YOU?!"

Well, at least she's patient... unlike some other ponies.
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/f020ce91-f852-4b92-9127-4c2b7d150a91/ddafudk-cc13c7ee-b9a3-439d-8f80-5a4413ade082.png/v1/fill/w_994,h_804,q_70,strp/motherly_metaphors_by_bobthedalek_ddafudk-pre.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9ODI4IiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvZjAyMGNlOTEtZjg1Mi00YjkyLTkxMjctNGMyYjdkMTUwYTkxXC9kZGFmdWRrLWNjMTNjN2VlLWI5YTMtNDM5ZC04ZjgwLTVhNDQxM2FkZTA4Mi5wbmciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9MTAyNCJ9XV0sImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTppbWFnZS5vcGVyYXRpb25zIl19.iZ7tJwGLtCIPORwUWwAvRQQhtUP7kNRvt02bLNwpAZQ

[Starlight Nova]

If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?

[Fetch]

9724422
Arca would sound like Jasper Pie.

[Kornwallis]

9724337

I agree with Fennec. Arca could have bought that table cloth from a Thrift store (or for what passed as one at the time) during that time period.

[ANW]

"Um Mage, there was an incident a few decades back, and well.....there's a good chance that his swimmers are not working. We haven't gotten a chance to test it, Arca being Arca, but the chance is about 75% that you will never get grandfoals, at least not from him."

[Ashfur]

9724460
I could see that. Honestly I always kinda voiced Arca myself in my head, since I'm a tad off my rocker myself.

[Drr]

9724339
I'm liking your comment for two reasons
1: the picture
2: your profile pic

[FrostTheWolf]

9724740
Why thank you on both of those things, good sir

[mapu]

Made me chuckle. Nice chapter. Great job.

[Sound Wave]

yes! Torture Twilight more!

[RememberSwissGuards1527]

Poor Twilight.
...............
Alright. Now that the sympathies are out of the way, proceed with the torture of star butt.

[Venerable Ro]

Celestia's been waiting for this for years, hasn't she?

[ChakatRedstripe]

Huh, Twilight blue screened

[AyanamiRei]

9725085
Pretty sure that Princess Boss has been waited for CENTURIES to get grand babies. Not sure how long Meadow's been waiting, considering there was that weird stasis thing...so hard to tell how many actual years she's been waiting

[Ausbrony]

Heheh

Waits for Celestia to start needling Twilight about grandfoals.

You know... Twilight and Arcane could solve both our problems. looks at Razzle a little friendly competition couldn't hurt~

[Kirtai]

Twilight would probably have a coronary if she looked in Arcas storage

"Just… put it in the storeage, Arca…"

Storage

Based off the lunar motif had to have been Luna's.

Missing "it"

[Mister-H]

"I tried, but every asylum sent him back. With new lists."

"...lists?"

We need see thi-THESE lists.

[DragonMaster]

9726088
Don’t you think those two are crazy enough separately?

[Alondro]

Twilight finally regained her senses as Arca took a sip from the mug. "Wait! Wait! If they're the origionals, that's even worse! Those belong in a museum!"

"Whoa," Arca mumbled to himself as he laid the tablecloth on the small table. "Never seen somepony so scared of a thrift store tablecloth before."

Of course, it was a thrift store in Marelantis…

[Asolem2]

Razzle rolled her eyes, then seemed to get an idea. "Hey Arca, mylovingcoltfriendsayswhat?"

"Huh?"

"Damn it."

Nice try

Author's Note:

"I still don't see why she got all up in a tizzy over my cup. It even has my name engraved in the base here!"

I agree. The only thing that old worth talking about is your lack of a mare, Arcane. I'm still waiting for grandfoals."

"MOM! MUST YOU?!"

Yes, yes she must