"Thank you, come again!" The last customer in the shop left, leaving Juniper Berry to her thoughts. The young, light green pegasus mare took a moment to brush a stray lock of her muted purple mane out of her face. It seemed her ponytail had come slightly undone over the course of the day, and she quickly fixed it to avoid looking disorganized to any customers. Unlike her boss, she had to be out front most of the day.
However, her self-reflections came to a halt as the door to the shop swung open once more, a light Ding-Dilling-Ding echoing through the modestly-sized building from the door chimes. In walked somepony who she had never met before, a buisnessmare with a serious air about her.
"Oh, hello! Welcome to Alchemiracles, ma'am. May I help you today?" Juniper managed to force a smile. She knew without even hearing a single word that this mare was bound to be one of THOSE customers.
"Ah, yes. Hello, my name is Emerald Essence, and I came here to-" Despite the prim and proper mare's normally unflinching demeanor, the deep green unicorn paused as a loud clattering sound came from the back of the building. Juniper knew that noise, and decided that now might be the best time to finish her tea before it spilled, taking a sip. "Did you hear that? No matter, my buisness proposal is far more important than any silly mess you have to cl-"
"DID SOMEPONY SAY 'ESSENCE'?!" The door marked 'employees only' flew open with so much force that the shelves shook. Emerald spun around to face the intrusion, terrified, while Juniper didn't even flinch as she finished her drink. A bright orange unicorn stallion with a wild, frazzled purple and yellow mane poked his head out of the doorframe excitedly. He lifted the thick goggles he was wearing to his forehead to see better, revealing his green eyes. "I swear I heard 'Essence'. Juniper! How did you know we just ran out of essence of frog and limes? I need those for my latest batch... of..." He looked around quizzically, the lab coat covering his body making noise as the dozen or so attached vials of colorful liquids clinked together. "Where is it?"
"Boss, this mare's name is Essence. She just walked in. And I'll be sure to order essence of frog and essence of lime," Juniper sighed. New ponies in town always took a while to warm up to her mentor. "Miss Essence, this is my mentor, Arcane Catalyst."
"Nonono, Juniper. I need essence of frog, and I need limes. The actual fruit. You know I like to snack on them sometimes. Anyway," he turned to face Emerald. "Nice to meetcha! Call me Arca, everypony else does. Now, did you want to buy any potions, ingredients, supplies, or guidebooks?"
Emerald Essence looked at the stallion cautiously. "No, I actually-"
"Not my department then! I've been away from my experiment too long anyway, it might expolde! Or cause rapid plant growth. Alchemy is wierd like that. Nice meeting you!" He turned around and hurriedly trotted back into the back.
Emerald was fuming at this point. "How dare that stallion interrupt me so many times? And when I am so close to what I want. You there, girl. How much would it take to buy the shop? I recently expanded my businesses to include the jewelers across the street and this place is an eyesore that needs shutting down."
Juniper sighed. One of THOSE customers, indeed. "Ma'am, I'm sorry but we don't just sell the buisness because it doesn't look good from your store. This place is a staple of the community, you can't simply buy it away!" A moment later, she was struck with a powerful magic spell from Emerald, and found herself much more agreeable to the mare's whims. "Actually, why don't you head back to his lab? I'm sure he'd love to sell."
"Much better, dear. See how nice it is when you cooperate? I'll be right back." As she left, Juniper shook of the hypnosis she had been struck with and chuckled to herself. If there was one thing her boss hated, it's when she broke the cardinal rule...
Emerald Essence pushed the door to the lab open and took a moment to look at all the ingredients and potions scattered around. Organized, but in use. Arca stood over a cauldron in the back, humming to himself as he tossed in various ingredients and stirred. Emerald went to go and say something, but before she could take more than one step into the lab she was hit in the face with a flying labcoat and the door closed in her face.
"What do I always say, Juniper?! Fur coats in the shop, LAB COATS IN THE LAB! You're gonna get hurt one of these days, I swear..."
Emerald stood up, fuming mad. She pushed the door open again... "Now listen here, you li-" ...and promptly got another faceful of labcoat.
"You know I have spares, Juniper! I can keep this up all day! Labcoats. Are. Required!"
Grumbling, Emerald hastily draped a labcoat over herself and strode in. "How dare you fling something at me like that, you brute! I demand compensation."
Arca looked up from his cauldron again. "Oh! Hey, you aren't Juniper. You're that lady that didn't want to buy anything. You do know this is an employee's only area, right? Oh, did June hire you? Sorry I didn't greet you properly then, have a look around!"
Fed up with everything that had happened so far, Emerald Essence thrust a contract forward for signing the shop away, and hit Arca with a strong hypnosis spell. "Sign. This. Now." She floated a quill over into the stallion's magical grasp.
Much to her surprise, however, Arca didn't even flinch, reading over the paper. "Uh... why would I want to sell the shop? I like it here. The community likes us here. Getting rid of the shop would be a bad idea."
"Rrrgh! That's IT!" Emerald charged up the strongest possible spell she could. The other spells might have been illegal, but casting dominion was nearly a war crime. "SIGN THE PAPER!"
"Nah." He tossed it idly to the side, only for it to fall into the vat, and it started to shake and bubble. "Oh. Uh-oh..."
When conciousness returned to the three ponies in the shop, an explosion of plant life had destroyed the front of the shop, as well as causing a literal explosion at the jewelers Emerald so desperately wanted to give a better view to, somehow.
"My jewelers! I invested so much into that! No!" She cried out.
Dangling from a vine, Juniper sighed. "I guess I'd better go get the hedge clippers. And the insurance claims."
Finally, a lightly charred Arca emerged from the rubble of the shop. His goggles were cracked, his labcoat ripped, and tears of pure joy were in his eyes.
"Juniper! Look! IT DID BOTH THINGS!"
That is how you deal with annoying unicorns with sticks so far up their plots, they poke out of their head... Oh, wait. That’s just their horn!!
This. Is. Amazing! I can't wait to read more and have a great day!
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Ranked #1 in Reader satisfaction, and...
...don't ask about our customer satisfaction rank.
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cool, btw, why the wolf?
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Because I grew up with dogs my whole life. I'd argue I've learned more from them than humans.
That and I can't afford a commission of my OC pony9330569
That is why pets rule, teach you to be mellow and not complain. . .
This guy is quite evidently insane.
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR97URHwPy8W9iCl4QXyBuzivJaBfpRaMf7-_migJ_9i37CXIM
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"Hey, what if Doc Brown worked retail?"
-My brain, 10pm last night
Congratulations!
I am always happy to see some good quality comedy, I can assure you I'll be watching this, closely.
derpicdn.net/img/2017/9/2/1525968/large.jpeg
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And I saw evidence that this take place in the same universe as Prank War, so I'll be looking forward to Arca maybe getting in on those shenanigans.
So, well, media.makeameme.org/created/ill-be-watching-m66ig5.jpg
Pretty good so far, I like it. Though could use some proofreading.
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Genius!
Needs to have some proofreading.
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I wish I had a proofreader, honestly
Anypony for Essence of Essence? Just need a large enough macerating vat. I think I saw one in Gotham.
Aaaand I hope Essence, from here on out, only exists to take the brunt of the BOOOMS. If she's the primary antagonist, it'll get old fast.
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She's sort of the primary antagonist in the same way blueblood is the primary jerk in prank war. There on occasion, but more often than not she won't be present.
Plus, I can do things other than explosions...
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DID SOMEPONY SAY 'ESSENCE'?!
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Okay, I can handle it. Characters like her (and Blueblood) are best in small doses. :D
Enough said Thumps up, faved, & followed
Warnings: Profanity
There isn’t a single curse in this chapter, I’ll presume you’ll add some later, but if you’re not, Metallicolt is in dire need of a profanity tag...
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Warning: use of 'buck' in place of 'fuck' every now and again
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Heck, I do that in my everyday life
For some reason, no one notices, probably because none of them are actually heavily connected to the brony fandom.
I love this! Keep up the GREAT work!
I got a good feeling about this...
Also, try orphan tears. I hear that's a great ingrediant.
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i believe there is an editors group where you can find a proof reader
Crazy science pony alchemist... I like it!
Okay, for one, this story is quite excellent. The stereotypical crazy scientist is perfect, and I agree with what you're written here. As for your account name, I seriously thought I was the only one who read Warriors books. Or maybe I am, and you juts so happen to have your account name as one. Anyways, again, great story man, and I seriously agree with what you've done. Excellent, pure and simple.
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I actually HAVE read the warriors series, but "Ashfur" is actually the shortened version of my first pony OC's name, Ashen Brightfur.
Is it possible you were having way too much fun writing tho? Fuse this feels like it was written with pure unbridled joyous abandon. And I love it! It’s like a written asdf movie!
Somewhat related, whenever I see mind control being used, I always want to see it rebound in the stupidest way. Like “you’re under my command!” “But it’s Opposite Day!” “Oh Noooooo!!!”
Check that "How" up there.
Also,
Also also, the hell is with this mare?!
Lol I love this story already. Awesome entry, the characters are definitely interesting. I will be reading more
Arca reminds me of the doctor a bit. I can tell this is going to be a fun story to read
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That would be such a great twist to someone attempting mind control in the MLP universe.
That is one happy small hors; sign me up
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Happy crazy small hors
You know... Arca reminds me of someone...
https://youtu.be/slRRCxJWkoI
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Heh. Yeah, I can see that.
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Honestly he reminds me of Caboose from Blue vs. Red. A complete maniac with the idea of intelligence but is up for debate on whether or not he has it, yet is amazingly competent despite everything he does being a disaster. Not to mention the childlike optimism.
I'ma just leave this here
I read this in the voice of professor Farnsworth and it was glorious!
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Good news everypony!
Really tho arca is like 30ish*
I would be surprised if what she just did isn't illegal
So this lady has been breaking quite a few laws in the short time we have know her
Ahhh Karma, sometimes you're a friend and sometimes you're a female dog
And given your methods so far I'd imagine you might have broken a few laws to get it as well
That it did
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"New reader! Quick, give them a speed reading potion!"
Welcome aboard, friend! I always love watching folks experience the story fresh like this.
Oh this looks Good.
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Welcome, welcome!
Now this is how you introduce an OC or two! I can already see the comedy dynamic between Arc and juniper and it promises to be great!
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Welcome to the FUN
Pretty sue it's stupid building a monetary empire on hypnosis.
Especially if found out get a success undone and one in the dungeon for a lifetime...
that can't be legal.