Let's Learn
“And from there, all you need to do is let it simmer for a little while, stirring occasionally, and just like that, we have a vat full of my potion of curing stomach aches! Wasn't that easy, dear?”
Juniper sat watching as Meadowbrook carefully and methodically brewed up a potion from memory. “Wow. That was so… calm, compared to how my boss does it. He usually cuts corners by tossing the ingredients in from halfway across the lab and somehow makes it turn out fine.”
Meadowbrook smiled fondly as dozens of memories flashed through her head of catching her former apprentice trying to ‘make potions faster and better than ever before’ by hurling everything from plants to gemstones across her tree-shop and making a ridiculous mess. “Yes, I remember when he used to miss every throw he made. I made him take lessons from a travelling jester who settled down in the swamps in order to improve his throwing… no doubt he's honed those skills over the centuries. I hope he at least calms down enough to teach you, though.”
Juniper shrugged her wings. “Sometimes. Other times he teaches me how to gather rare ingredients, and that involves a field trip… and usually self-defense lessons. He's surprisingly skilled in fighting styles of all three tribes… well, at least the grounded versions of pegasi styles.”
“Well, how about we do some preparations for another brew, then? You are a joy to teach, especially since you don't try to ‘improve the recipe’ with untested ingredient combinations…”
Before they could share a laugh over the pony they had to practically foal sit on several occasions, a jingle came from the front of the shop, indicating a customer.
“Oh! I'll go get it. Juniper, be a dear and stir that vat in a few minutes, will you? Should improve the potion's effect.”
“I'd be happy to!”
And so, Mage Meadowbrook trotted to the front of the store, only come face to face with a bespectacled unicorn stallion holding a clipboard in his magic.
“Um, can I help you, sir?”
The brown-furred stallion chuckled. “In a way, yes. My name is Equivalent Exchange, and I'm with the Equestrian Bureau for Fair and Lawful Business Practice. I received a report that this building was not up to standards for proper health and safety, so I'm here to investigate. I have all the paperwork right here,” he replied, levitating a few legal forms into Meadow's view. “Given that this place looks like it was constructed with styles over 400 years old, I'm not surprised that this place caught the attention of a worried resident.”
Meadow sighed. “Alright, but do try not to break anything. I highly doubt that-”
“Mind if I interrupt, Meadowbrook?” Juniper poked her head out of the lab, holding an old piece of paper. “Believe it or not, even if this place wasn't up to code, which it is because this place gets rebuilt every few months, there's nothing he could do. This paperwork should explain things.” Equivalent took the paper and read it aloud.
This document verifies that the building known as ‘Alchemiracles’ in the town of Rainbow Falls is considered exempt from any and all investigations unless personally approved by either the owner of the property or her royal majesty princess Celestia herself. Any questions about this document may be addressed to the crown directly.
Signed this day, July 17th 572 ANM, in my presence,
-Princess Celestia Sol Invicus of Equestria
-Sir Arcane Catalyst, current owner and proprietor of Alchemiracles, Royal Knight of the Sun, Royal Alchemist of the crown, and five-time winner (and sole contestant) of the annual Canterlot dance-off
-Holly Berry, Apprentice of Arcane Catalyst
“Well then. I suppose this matter needs to be taken to the royal courts. Do you have copies of this so that I might pass it on to my anonymous client?”
Juniper nodded. “Yeah, that's actually a copy. The original is in the royal archives. Keep it.”
“Thank you. I will take my leave now. Farewell, ladies.” and with that, Juniper and Meadow were alone in the shop once more.
“This happen often, dearie?”
“About once a year. Apparently it's been nearly 60 years since anypony has actually gone to the court over it, though. Wanna go make more potions? I always wanted to get taught by you, and this is a dream come true!”
Meadow chuckled. “Let's finish the one we have brewing now, and take a break. It's important to pace yourself, otherwise you might make mistakes. How about we go get lunch instead? My treat.”
“...And that's my report, Miss Essence. I'm glad you brought this to my attention. This document is without a doubt a forgery… it was signed over 400 years ago by the pony you claimed was the current owner!”
Emerald smiled. “Yes, finally I have the evidence I need to get that pesky shop closed! To think he had the gall to not only forge Celestia's signature, but to claim himself as a royal knight AND the royal alchemist? I wouldn't be surprised if he got locked up for the rest of his days. And putting his own signature on the document as though he was there… who is he trying to fool? He may be a thorn in my side, but he isn't ageless! That's impossible!”
“Shall we set up an appointment with the Day court?”
“...No. Princess Celestia AND Princess Luna are coming to the trade exchange in a few weeks, with Celestia supervising Luna's first time as the acting princess of the exchange. I think I'll call that fool out then, and expose him as a fraud in front of the entire town! He'll be ruined, and finally that eyesore of a building can be out of my scenic view forever!”
“...Do you think he actually was the five-time winner of the dance-off, though? I never even heard of it.”
“Knowing that crazy pony, it honestly wouldn't surprise me if he declared it himself just for the ego boost. Still…” she looked out her window to the building in question. “Your days are numbered, Arcane Catalyst. Emerald Essence never loses in legal battles.”
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A certain pony is going to get a harsh and royal reality check...
*insert abridged Vegeta laugh here* I can't wait to see how this turns out.
Dear Emerald,
Have you heard of the Philosopher’s Stone? The Stone that can overcome time, age, and all alchemical laws? No? Then I should like to inform you that the only known Stone is currently within Arcane Catalyst.
Fuck off,
Juniper
Celestia: Emerald Essence, it is my judgement that you are a very silly pony. Arca, please do remember to put 'Royal Alchemist' on your door to stop such silliness from happening again.
Arca: Yes Princess-Boss.
Emerald Essence: THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!
Pinkie Pie (popping up from behind her): THIS IS EQUESTRIA!
I wonder if there is any evidence of Emerald's felony.
That felony being multiple counts of brainwashing.
For those who don't know, read chapter 1 again.
I dearly hope Acrane challenges her to a dance off, to defend his honor. I wan't the read these incredible moves!
9401470
"Do you know how annoying it is to have to take a blood sample every time I want to abuse it's power? One time the whole town got really, really sick and I was dizzy from blood loss for a whole week making sure we had enough grand panacea!"
9401482
"Oh, and Arca? Before I forget, make sure the sign isn't just a post-it note... or macaroni art... actually, let ME have the sign made. I'll send it to you."
Emerald should be happy this isn't happening on Earth. What would happen to her depends on the ruler, time and place.. The mildest would be considered a silly pony and having the case tossed out, to potentially be executed if for nothing other than annoying the crown..
Unless its been hidden for some reason it should be possible to readily verify Acra's claims of being a knight. Same with the document even without bringing it up in court.
Setting up the appointment in day court probably would've been the least painful as I assume Raven or someone else does a quick look over of all the appointments and could've validated the paper as valid
I wonder at what temperature fur burns? Because I am sure Emerald Essence is going to hit that temperature when her plans crumble.
Soon...
9401455
A Reality Check Through the Skull to be exact
9401593
I don't know the exact autoignition temperature of animal hair, but I assume it's similar to paper, which ignites at 450 F. The coldest part of the Sun's atmosphere is thousands of degrees. Need I say more?
9401901
Fun fact: hair, horns, and hooves as re all primarily composed of keratin, and a quick del e iri scientific studies does put them around the same autoignition temperature. If her mane spontaneously combust, so too would her horn, disabling her magic, and her hooves, rendering her pretty much immobile.
That said, Celestia (my depiction if her at least) is not so cruel. Even if she discovered Emerald has used mind control and brainwashing, she'd probably get life in high-security prison with a magic suppression ring on her face at the absolute worst.
you madam... are about to lose this legal battle...
9393255
9397155
https://m.Obviously it would be this one
9402261
How about this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rz4Dd1I_fX0
9402670
Yeah that seems more his speed
Obviously she’s never gone against an Arca.
9401470
Um, excuse me.
It’s “Go floof yourself”.
Uncultured cur...
9402581
Never know where it's going to go
Half the appeal is in italics
-sits eating popcorn- I can't wait to see what happens.
Also why am I imagining a basket ball hoop and scoreboard over the cauldron?
9404458
Why are you imagining that? Because Arca would.
9401664
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/312/563/05d.jpg
Holly Berry, Arca's apprenticex huh?
Wonder if the Berry family has some history with Arca.
Is Cherry Berry related to Juniper, by chance?
This needs revisiting soon. Like real soon.
Oh Emerald...you'd think you would have figured out by now that there is just no stopping Arca. Not only that, but how she's managed to NOT hear about how old Arca is, is beyond me. Then again considering how vain she is...she's probably not heard paid much attention to ANYTHING most of the people in town say.
Wait, Holly Berry? As in, one of Juniper’s ancestors?
9478468
Finally someone caught it. Well done!
9478498
Actually, comment #25 was first.
"Holly Berry, Arca's apprenticex huh?
Wonder if the Berry family has some history with Arca.
Is Cherry Berry related to Juniper, by chance?"
9401470
Note its not IN Arcane Catalyst He IS it
Honestly I looked at the chapter list a bit ago and I'm getting some existential dread from the chapter titled Twi
9401929
300 years, not life! (we dont talke about life sentences near Arca)
Said resident is less worried and more furious that she hasn't been able to get rid of said building or it's owner
Your clients name is Emerald Essence, she runs a chain of jewellery stores, one of which is located here in Rainbow Falls and she wants to get rid of this building for view
Oh this is gonna be fun
Probably
Well, first time for everything I guess
"It was probably about that pony named... uh, uuuuuh, shoot i forgot her name... oh well I'm sure she wasn't important"
This will end in fun.
Especially since she used illigal and outright warcrime forbidden spells before...
Schaaaaaaadeeeeenfreeeeeeuuudddddde... (schadenfreude, but stretched out)
9401593
From her own rage al la Twilight towards the end of "Feeling Pinkie Keen", or from Celestia's rage?