The door to alchemiracles jingled as it opened, letting the latest customer in. Ponies bustled to and fro in the shop, looking over potions and the descriptions and prices attached to each. The pony trotted directly to the counter, where Arcane was working. "Oh, hello! Can I help you?"
"Actually, I'm doing some research into a rare item rumored to be nearby. Have you ever heard of the Stone of Telecama?"
Arca squinted at the new arrival. His mind sifted through memories of ponies he knew until he realized that this pony was one of the few to be in the news enough for him to recognize without needing to sell something. Which was exceedingly strange, that definitely meant the pony was using a stage name, since he could remember those easily. "Oh. I know you. And I know what to do. Come, follow me." He gestured towards the door at the back, labelled 'Stockroom'. There was an employees only sign on it, and a note taped to it that read 'Enter at your own bucking risk- Juniper'.
A.K. Yearling, known to a few as Daring Do herself, followed Arca down the steps into the stockroom. She was used to this kind of thing, shady deals in back rooms for the information she needed in order to get the artifact. "This way. And uh, watch out. It's a bit messy down here, but I swear I know where everything is!"
Yearling let out a gasp of shock. The room was large, massive even, like an underground warehouse. Piled high were stacks of books and papers,scattered haphazardly amidst curios and trinkets. If she had to describe it, Yearling would say it looked like the Library of Alexandria, if some nitwit had knocked all the shelves over. Before she could say anything, though, Arca started climbing up one of the book piles. "Come on, we need to go this way."
"And… where are you taking me?"
"To the treasure, of course!"
Yearling rolled her eyes. There was no way it was ever this easy. Still, best to trust this pony for now, she thought. Any information tended to be better than none. As she clambered to the top, still wearing her civilian disguise, she considered removing it, since the strange alchemist said he knew who she was. Arca was already preparing a lasso made of a vine. "Okay, I made us a rope! Now, this will let us get across the gap to the next pile of stuff the alchemy guild keeps sending me to read and I'll read later maybe." With a grin, Arca lassoed one of the magic crystals acting as a light on the ceiling, pulled it tight, and proceeded to swing across. "Da da da daaaaaaa, da da da. Da da da DAAAAA-"
Singing a triumphant tune to himself, Arca made it about halfway before the crystal came loose, sending the alchemist barreling directly into the pile of papers. Which promptly went flying everywhere, creating a blizzard of paperwork that made it hard to see.
"Somehow I don't think that was your plan," Yearling remarked as she hopped down the pile to join Arca on the ground. "Now, are you going to tell me what we're looking for here?"
Arca didn't respond, ducking low under a half-collapsed shelf. Yearling grumbled and followed suit, only for her eyes to widen in surprise as Arca stepped on a tripwire and darts shot out of a hidden slot, pelting his left flank in likely poison-tipped darts. "Oh my gosh, are you okay? Hold still, I can-"
"Ouchie. Forgot I had those installed. Why did I ever think investing in those crossbow traps was a good idea?" Grumbling, he pulled all seven darts out of his hindquarters with his magic, sending them via teleport to the nearest sharps bin. Shaking his body like a dog shaking off from the rain, Arca regained his composure. "My bad, sorry! Here we are."
Yearling looked around. Aside from the booby trap, this place was just a cluttered and disorganized stockroom. "And we're here because…?" She trailed off, hoping against hope that Arca would explain. The only thing of note was a six foot tall novelty potion bottle resting precariously atop the pile of books they had stopped in front of.
Arca abruptly stuck his hoof into the pile, shifting it around for a moment before pulling out a pristine first edition print of Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone. "You're A.K. Yearling, right? Right? Can you autograph my book, please?"
Yearling let her mouth hang open. She was utterly flabbergasted at the fact that this pony had dragged her down here for an autograph. Damn fans, she thought, ready to put on her 'happy author face', sign the book and leave before Ahuizotl found clues as to the whereabouts of the Stone of Telecama. She inhaled to begin her response, but a sudden rumble shook the nearby area.
Arca glanced down at the book. "...oh, right. I forgot that was load-bearing. How are your sprinting skills, Miss Yearling?"
That was all the warning Yearling got before the pile of books shifted, dislodging the giant potion bottle as it rolled toward her like a boulder. Yearling immediately turned and sprinted away towards the steps leading back upstairs, jumping over toppled bookshelves and old lab equipment as the bottle rolled after her.
"Huh. You'd think that she'd try running to the side a bit. Why do ponies always run in a straight line away from the big dangerous thing coming after them?" He shrugged, watching Yearling narrowly make it up the steps as the bottle crashed into the wall moments later. "Great. Now that's blocking the exit. I guess I'll ask Juniper to help me with that… but then she'll try to… ugh, reorganize the place. I know exactly where everything is, it's not my fault it 'looks like a tornado came through here'!"
Yearling, meanwhile, made it up the steps and slammed the door shut behind her, heaving as she tried to catch her breath. "I just… wanted… the Stone… of Telecama…"
"Oh, that old thing?" Arca asked, flashing in beside her in a teleport. "Aisle three, top shelf, right next to the anti-slip potions. You can't miss it."
Yearling felt the last nerve in her psyche unwind, then snap. "Are you TRYING to be funny? There's no way an ancient magical artifact like that would be right… there." She had stormed over to aisle three as her rant revved up, and sure enough, there it was: The Stone of Telecama. A glittering orange gemstone said to grant entry to the ancient Maresopotamian vault of treasures. She was awestruck… and then she saw the price tag.
"Six bits?! Are you serious?"
Arca shrugged. "Okay, okay, fine. You drive a hard bargain. Four."
"That- that's not what I meant by-"
"Also, can I have that autograph now?"
Considering who we are talking about him not doing something like this would be the surprise
I bet Arca knows Ahuizotl, they probably have tea together every couple centuries
11312334
If the Season 9 reveals are in play, he may very well have been Ahuizotl's creator.
11312344
I considered ending the chapter on Azzy actually being acustomer of Arca's but also smart enough to realize that once Daring bought the artifact off the shelf, there was no way he was getting away with stealing it iff her in the store.
So, his storage closet is the temple of doom. I would fear to wonder what the pantry closet is like
11312356
Cloudy with a chance of meatballs, mayhaps?
...Why do I have the image of Ahuizotl selling Arca fresh rare potion ingredients to fund his operations?
You guys still like reading these, right?
I need a direct injection of reassurance from time to time.
11312378
Oh indeed!
The story remains impressively novel and engaging and I look forward to each new release.
11312378
I would add the "reading intensifies" meme that was created forever ago, but I have forgotten how to link gifs on this site.
Needless to say, I continue to read this, consider yourself validated you amazing writer of horse words!
I look forward to more horse words! May you always be inspired and have a nice day!
11312378
I'm already following you and tracking a bunch of your stories. Seriously, stop worrying.
imgs.xkcd.com/comics/impostor_syndrome.png
11312378
Still reading until the day he turns the planet into a giant piece of candy corn. Accidentally, to be sure.
11312370
I think that perhaps Arca's Pantry closet gave inspiration to the pony who wrote the Equestrian Equivalent of 'The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe'
Either that or it's where he kept all the leftover nacho cheese for when he gets that Bruschetta Boat
11312378
Definitely still reading and enjoying...
That being said, I would love to see some "plot advancement" as it were. Will his relationship with Razzle progress? Occassionally Arca also seems to have some pretty severe repressed issues... will those ever get addressed? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the story a lot, but sometimes it seems like a series of joke skits that never really progress anywhere story-wise (which is fine but can get a little repetitive).
11312468
I have planned on that! I try to intersperse major plot points in the story when I feel it's getting dull. For example, we recently (chapter-wise) had the arc of Arca going to ponyville.
My next big plan is possibly introducing a new antagonist (similar to Emerald) or possibly having Arca realize Razzle genuinely likes him.
11312419
To be fair he might also do it on purpose, because it's funny.
11312522
Or he genuinely already knows but is acting as he is because he thinks Razzle expects him to.
Which would lead directly to Arca, even after 1000 years, still having no clue about what women want.
11312705
I've said this before, and I'll say it again:
I very, VERY much want to one day have a scene where Arca comes running into day court, and announces in front of hundreds of nobles that he has discovered the ancient succupony art of the sex, thinking it was a secret only demon ponies knew before they went extinct.
Then he asks Celestia if he can use her as an example right then and there.
Would likely bump us to rated M territory, though...
11312351
Lol maybe could have him trapped in the store room under a pile of Arcas "to read" pile ;p
11312378
Always, you silly so-and-so!
11312739
Unless he wad talking about the saxophone
11312739
You could always use “The Adult Conspiracy” idea from the Xanth novels to circumvent that.
Adult Conspiracy
I am saddened you seem to have stopped updating this about two years ago. Then again you have taken long breaks before. Please continue it some time.