It was another average day in Rainbow Falls. Arca was back home, which was why most of the town was sweeping up tufts of fur from his latest try at the mane growth potion. This time it made fur start growing rapidly, then fall out, then regrow…
Regardless, it was a pretty normal day so far. Emerald was enjoying a nice trot through the market, when she heard a noise. It was a common noise where she came from, so she paid it no mind, but the rest of the townsponies seemed to freeze in terror, praying it was their imagination.
“Quack.”
“EVERYPONY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!”
Emerald barely dove out of the way as all the ponies in the market stampeded towards the train station to get anywhere but where they were at the moment. Pegasi took to the air at speeds rivaling the wonderbolts to escape.
Emerald looked on in horror as something rounded the corner among the dust kicked up by the fleeing ponies.
“Quack.”
“Wait, it's just a bucking duck?”
“Quack.” Sure enough, a single, uninteresting white duck waddled up to her, looked around for bread, and waddled off down an alley.
“Is… is THAT what everypony was scared of? Why?”
“Hello, pony who I don't know but kinda looks familiar! Have you seen a waterfowl around here?”
Emerald turned around, glaring. “Arca.” Upon seeing the object of her ire, her eyes widened in shock. “Wait… why are you wearing a camouflage lab coat, covered in leaves, and towing seventeen military grade cannons?!”
The town's resident potion maker gestured to his artillery, all connected to a single cord. “Because sixteen wasn't enough last time. Also, I'm legally required to tell you to evacuate the town. Mayor Silver doesn't like it when I go up against my arch-nemesis. But one of these days, I'm going to win!”
“Quack.”
Arca's right eye twitched, his head pivoting around slowly. There it was, sticking its head into one of the cannons, appearing to examine the echo of its voice. It fell inwards, only its rump sticking out of the weapon, its legs kicking fruitlessly.
“YOU MOTHERBUCKING SON OF A FLAP-FLAP, I'M GONNA KILL YOU DEAD! ALL CANNONS! FIRE!”
“Qua-”
The Duck didn't get to finish as Arca pulled the ripcord, and all seventeen cannons fired their salvo in rapid succession, including the one The Duck happened to be stuck in at the moment. It also just so happened that all of them were pointed directly at Emerald's recently redecorated jewelry store.
“My shop!” Emerald cried out in anger. “You will pay for every bit of repairs I have to do, and then I will have you jailed, you bonehead!” she flinched as she said that, knowing what destruction Arca was capable of. Calling a unicorn a ‘bonehead’ was akin to calling an earth pony a ‘filthy mud pony’ (which they were, in her opinion, but that's beside the point), and she didn't want to face him directly.
However, Arca simply waved her off with a hoof. “Eh, collateral damage. It matters not, I even don't care about that racial slur you just called me! I think I finally got him!”
“Quack.”
There was a light flapping of wings, and The Duck perched on Arcane's head and began preening itself.
“I hate you. So bucking much.”
“Quack.”
“You wanna play like that? Fine. ALL CANNONS! FIRE TWO!” There was another series of explosions, and Emerald looked even more furious. “Eheheh… whoops. Forgot to aim them. I feel bad for whoever runs that shop.” He then turned the cannons to face him head-on.
“Qua-”
“FIRE THREE!”
As the dust settled, a white duck walked away from the carnage as Arca, covered in soot and dust but somehow uninjured, weakly poked a hoof from the rubble and shook it in anger. “Curse you, The Duck… Just you wait until next time!”
Mayor Silver had been off on a nature walk when the panic started, and as such thought all the screaming was something else Arca-related. So when he returned to find the town empty and a giant anvil made of a combination of smaller anvils and cannons hanging by a thick rope above a pile of birdseed, and Arca hiding behind a sign that read ‘Nopony here, eat the free birdseed’, he knew that it was trouble.
“Arca, let me guess. Is it The Duck again?”
“SSSSH! I'm not here. That blasted bird is back and this time I'm sure I'll finally have it!”
“Quack.”
Arca and Silver both turned to look at the the noise. The Duck was there, eating the birdseed. Arca leapt from his ‘hiding spot’ and pulled the rope, crying out triumphantly.
“Ah HA!”
...Only for all the cannons to fire to the side, swinging the massive anvil as the rope let go, crushing Arca into the ground. From under the pile of iron and weaponry, Silver heard voices.
“I am okay! Is it dead?”
“Quack.”
“HOW DID YOU GET DOWN HERE?!”
Silver sighed. “Right, I'm going to leave now. Have fun trying to kill The Duck for the umpteenth time.”
“Okay, have a nice day, Mayor Silver! If you can find a way to help, let me know!”
“Noted, Arca. Also, it seems to be eating the birdseed again.”
“HOW DID IT GET OUT BEFORE I DID?! FLOOF THAT BIRD!”
Let me guess, he tried to recreate his philosopher's stone experiment, didn't he?
That is an avian pinkie!
So the Duck is Equestria's version of the Road Runner and Acra is Wiley E Coyote.. I will argue considering Acra's minimum age I doubt its only the umpteenth time.. Maybe Celestia or someone cast a duck repulsion charm on Acra
9404953
Aaaargh not the dreaded ultraquack.wav
We need more. It's a scientific fact. Proven in every test, in all the labs. It's required by law.
9405011
More what? Cowbell?
i.ytimg.com/vi/vR8s0vIQcuI/hqdefault.jpg
QUACK
Holy shit, what if he tried the stone thing again, on a duck, and now he's got an immortal duck that drives him... quackers.
That was worth the wait.
One of the best "Noodle Incident" revelations I've read in a while
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The Duck
Ewe-clid class (considered bleater if withing 5 miles of Rainbow Falls)
Containment procedures: As The Duck has managed to escape all attempted attempts at containment, none are deemed necessary due to its relatively low risk.
Description: It's just a duck.
More specifically, it appears to be a pure white duck of the species Anas platyrhynchos, or the Amareican Duck as it is commonly known, often raised for meat by griffins. It's only anomalous properties are as follows:
-The Duck cannot be killed by any currently known means. Any attempts to do so fail to deal enough damage or backfire.
-The Duck is considered ageless as reports of it date back to the area of Rainbow Falls before the town was founded.
-If The Duck is spotted by POI (Pony of Interest) Arcane Catalyst, Arcane will fly into a murderous rage and stop at nothing to kill The Duck, although he will not kill or attempt to harm any other creature. It is speculated that this is not an anomalous property, but instead a fury for some past event.
Honestly, this is actually less crazy than what I imagined. Still funny.
9405032
more QUACK!!
9404941
You know, it may be better if we don't find out.
It wouldn't surprise me though
This chapter is brought to you by the letters A,C,M, and E.
9404958
It never fails to amaze me what people can wring out of stop-motion G-mod animation.
I now have a running theory that the "Duck" is not actually real but a figment of Arca's imagination that was given form by some means. Which is why other ponies can see and hear the duck and the duck cannot be killed
9404953
Lol, I shared that with him during editing. He didn't want to make all the "quacks" a link to that video.
9404941
No, I think it's just a perfectly normal duck. He's just that bad at killing it.
also
9405343
The fact I have theorists now is incredible. You all really like my half-baked stories, huh?
I see 2 options here, either it's a completely normal duck that he's completely inept at killing.
Or he created an immortal duck with reality bending properties, that he created by accident after his usual "experimental potions" misshap. It probably started off as a fly, or spider.. well atleast it isn't several stories tall. And I really hope it can't breath fire.. or ice... Or lightning..
9405360
I watched all of that
10 minutes of my life I’ll never get back...
9405563
9405343
With everyone asking I may need to bump up the reveal of how The Duck came to be...show of hooves, who's too curious to wait?
9405032
Tricky... very tricky...
9405564
I don't know if I should apologize or laugh maniacally
Arca and The Duck are like me and The Orange Demon.
9404958
My personal favorite is this one right Here.
9405796
Laugh maniacally and then apologize, the video was pretty funny though.
9406041
Fun fact: laughing maniacally in public while reading on your phone can get you some weird looks from the general populace, and apologizing does not generally abate those weird looks.
9406140
You mad lad...
You actually laughed manically...
9406239
You wanna know what's really mad though?
I'm considering taking a break day and not writing anything.
Muahahaha-
Floof, I am so tired
9406239
of course I did, I have no shame and I am proud of that fact
9406362
fair enough, writing is hard.
This was great!
I am so glad to know what the duck is. And it is an apocalypse
Ahhh, The Duck is the Roadrunner to Arca's Coyote. I suspect it drank one of his experimental potions, hence the antagonism.
The Duck is also responsible for the Noodle Incident and the Jock Strap Incident.
No... but she did see a duck
Starting to think Arca holds a grudge towards that-pony-who's-name-I-suddenly-forgot because of that whole, "hypnotized Juniper" thing
The power of comedy
A very fitting Titel... Quack-Goddess?
OF TARTERUS!