“Look at her, moving her stuff into her new house. I knew building houses so close to market street was a bad idea. She's up to something, I know it!”
Juniper sat munching on popcorn while her boss stared out the window with his antique telescope. “Are you really stooping low enough to spy on another pony, boss? So she likes you, big deal. I'm sure you've had an obsessive stalker at least once.”
“Juniper, she's a succupony!”
“That's not nice, Boss. Unless you're serious, in which case you're delusional. Succuponies don't exist, they're an old mare's tale.”
“Says you.” Arca wiped the lens of the telescope and stared out the window again. “She may just be having those ponies help her move in right now, but she'll be over here soon enough to pester me about… SHE WINKED AT ME!” He ducked down, and pulled the shade closed with his magic. “She knows I was watching! She looked right at the window, and winked!”
An eye roll was Juniper's response. “Boss, I'm sure she just had something in her eye. I highly doubt she could see you looking out a window from the edge of the Arca Limit.”
“Fine, maybe she's slipping. It has been a few years since I ran into, and promptly ran away from her on a trip to Fillydelphia.” He raised the blind slightly and used his telescope again. “Yeah, you're right. She's turned around, and is talking to the movers. I guess she didn't notice me after SWEET MOTHER OF CELESTIA!” The ancient pony dropped back to the floor, blushing profusely and covering his head with his forelegs.
“Boss?! What happened?”
“I don't wanna talk about it! Go get some memory loss potion.”
“That doesn't exist, boss.”
“Sure it does! It's called hard cider.”
“No way in Tartarus am I letting you drink, Boss.”
“Phooey.” Arca got to his hooves, brushed himself off, and trotted towards the front door. “I have to go to the store and get something real quick. Hold down the fort, okay Juniper?”
She nodded. It was a good twenty minutes before her mentor returned, but when he did, she left him to his own devices and decided to try talking to Razzle again.
“Uh, excuse me, Miss Dazzle?”
Razzle turned, looking skeptical as Juniper approached, but her confused expression turned into a smile as the memory came back to her. “Ah, you're my precious Arcie's assistant, yes? Come on over, don't be shy.” she gestured for Juniper to come stand next to her.
“Uh, okay, I just wanted to ask you a question or two about… uh… you know, what's up with you and my boss. He seemed pretty against you being around the shop.” Juniper stepped out of the way to allow two earth ponies carrying a couch to walk by, then stepped back over.
“Oh, is that all? He's just playing around. He loves me, and one day we're going to get married! Isn't he such a dreamboat? Actually, don't answer that. He's mine, and that's all that matters. Sorry, erm… I apologize, I don't think I caught your name.”
“Juniper. Juniper Berry. And I know you already, miss Dazzle. You're one of the most famous supermodel actresses in Equestria! Which leads to my question… why Arca?”
“Well, it's nice to get to know you better, Juniper. You can call me Razzle, and I'm sure we'll be good friends with how often I'll be stopping by to visit my coltfriend. Maybe we can have a mare's day out, get makeovers and the like! A friend of my Arcie-warkie is a friend of mine!” She held out a hoof for Juniper to shake, and the pegasus returned the gesture. Then, Razzle continued. “As for why Arcane is the only stallion for me… he helped me get my life back on track when I wasn't too well off, before I became a star, and he didn't ask for anything. He supported me, gave me a place to stay, protected me from danger once or twice… how could I not fall in love with him? And now I'm one step closer to having him! Oh look, there he is now! HI, ARCIE-POO! I LOVE YOU!” She waved over at Alchemiracles, where Arca was on the porch roof, nailing wooden boards over the window of his room to prevent spying. He turned, glared at Razzle, and started hammering faster. “NICE FLANKS, BIG GUY!”
Even from the edge of the Arca Limit, both mares saw the lab coat wearing unicorn turn beet red. He reached into his coat, and tossed a potion on the ground, covering the shop in a massive smoke cloud. And the hammering got even faster.
“See?” Razzle asked, turning to Juniper for approval. “He loves me so much, and he's so smart, he hid the view from any other mares leering at him. He's perfect.”
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Say what you will, this girl is making an already hilarious story even funnier.
Oh gods they're perfect for each other
How soon until he thinks of moving...to Ponyville?
9436730
Not sure, but I'd probably give him a week before he thinks up a way to either destroy her or get her tossed into Tartarus, all while trying to kill the Duck.
Arca really should look into inventing some kind of Anti-love or hate potion. Not that it would have the effect he wants.
Juniper is as Arca crazy as Kodachi is Ranma crazy. At least it is Arca who has the arsenal of potions this time around.
On another note: Arca, if you ever come across a creature with the name Elric, tell them that The Stone is in The Duck. They will be then be hunt The Duck with even more furor than you.
You're fucking kidding me right Juniper? YOUR BOSS IS AN IMMORTAL BEING! DEMONS ARE A STRETCH?!
I can barely wait to read their backstory. That one is going to be a treat.
9437399
Well they DO have set precedents in Alicorns like Celestia, and Luna. So immortals may not be too much of a stretch. Demons are only seen in old stories, and the only ones who would know for sure (Celestia and Luna again) are being mum about the fact.
So tell me, is it really so hard to not doubt the insane things coming from the mouth of the scientifically proven insane but brilliant alchemist, even if he’s immortal?
(sets up a bar of hard drinks) better get these drinks now before arca dose.
9437584
I'd buy that if there wasn't that one episode where Cerberus pops in and twilight goes "oh no, the entrance of tartarus is unguarded" and nobody bats an eyelash over the fact that it exists. Equestria is filled with monsters, demons from the underworld aren't that hard to believe.
9437903
The more of Tartarus I see in show, the more it seems like Guantanamo or Alcatraz than “The Greek’s version of Hell”. A high security prison with a specialized guard.
I have come to adore this story SO. MUCH.
ASHFUR YOU DESERVE TO BE ALICORN(Or other preferred creature/species/race) OF COMEDIC WRITING.
9438490
Fun fact: when I first encountered mlp, I said I'd wanna be "one of those ones with the horns and wings" because I couldn't decide between flying or magic. Have I achieved worth yet?
Also fun fact: the friend who introduced me to mlp ended up chewing me out because the first image they showed me, they asked which caracter i liked the best, and I said, "That blue guy with the rainbow hair. He seems like a badass." What followed was a lecture about RD being a girl.
...Is it bad if I see Sanji from One Piece whenever Razzle here gets all gooey-eyed?
When Arca calls Dazzle a succupony.
I can’t tell if he’s serious and that’s very disturbing.
9440966
That means I'm doing my job. And thanks for the favorite!
I don't support drinking... But I will assuming it's basically HEAVILY salted cider?
(Because Alchohol wouldn't really work on ponies...)
9438653
You have achieved worthiness, my liege.
You most certainly have.
Now I'm just waiting for my title to turn up...
She winked at him again.
You mean just like, Nightmare Moon, the Elements of Harmony, Discord, the Crystal Empire, Tirek, Grogar, the Philosopher's Stone, and the, no doubt, numerous of other things that "don't exist"
11300511
yeah pretty much
That is priceless 😂😁