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// Daring Do and the Stockroom of Doom 
// Story: The Potion Shop 
// by Ashfur 
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The door to alchemiracles jingled as it opened, letting the latest customer in.  Ponies bustled to and fro in the shop, looking over potions and the descriptions and prices attached to each.  The pony trotted directly to the counter, where Arcane was working.  "Oh, hello!  Can I help you?"

"Actually, I'm doing some research into a rare item rumored to be nearby.  Have you ever heard of the Stone of Telecama?"

Arca squinted at the new arrival.  His mind sifted through memories of ponies he knew until he realized that this pony was one of the few to be in the news enough for him to recognize without needing to sell something.  Which was exceedingly strange, that definitely meant the pony was using a stage name, since he could remember those easily.  "Oh.  I know you.  And I know what to do.  Come, follow me."  He gestured towards the door at the back, labelled 'Stockroom'.  There was an employees only sign on it, and a note taped to it that read 'Enter at your own bucking risk- Juniper'.

A.K. Yearling, known to a few as Daring Do herself, followed Arca down the steps into the stockroom.  She was used to this kind of thing, shady deals in back rooms for the information she needed in order to get the artifact.  "This way.  And uh, watch out.  It's a bit messy down here, but I swear I know where everything is!"

Yearling let out a gasp of shock.  The room was large, massive even, like an underground warehouse.  Piled high were stacks of books and papers,scattered haphazardly amidst curios and trinkets.  If she had to describe it, Yearling would say it looked like the Library of Alexandria, if some nitwit had knocked all the shelves over.  Before she could say anything, though, Arca started climbing up one of the book piles.  "Come on, we need to go this way."

"And… where are you taking me?"

"To the treasure, of course!"

Yearling rolled her eyes.  There was no way it was ever this easy.  Still, best to trust this pony for now, she thought.  Any information tended to be better than none.  As she clambered to the top, still wearing her civilian disguise, she considered removing it, since the strange alchemist said he knew who she was.  Arca was already preparing a lasso made of a vine.  "Okay, I made us a rope!  Now, this will let us get across the gap to the next pile of stuff the alchemy guild keeps sending me to read and I'll read later maybe."  With a grin, Arca lassoed one of the magic crystals acting as a light on the ceiling, pulled it tight, and proceeded to swing across.  "Da da da daaaaaaa, da da da.  Da da da DAAAAA-"

Singing a triumphant tune to himself, Arca made it about halfway before the crystal came loose, sending the alchemist barreling directly into the pile of papers.  Which promptly went flying everywhere, creating a blizzard of paperwork that made it hard to see.

"Somehow I don't think that was your plan," Yearling remarked as she hopped down the pile to join Arca on the ground.  "Now, are you going to tell me what we're looking for here?"

Arca didn't respond, ducking low under a half-collapsed shelf.  Yearling grumbled and followed suit, only for her eyes to widen in surprise as Arca stepped on a tripwire and darts shot out of a hidden slot, pelting his left flank in likely poison-tipped darts.  "Oh my gosh, are you okay?  Hold still, I can-"

"Ouchie.  Forgot I had those installed.  Why did I ever think investing in those crossbow traps was a good idea?"  Grumbling, he pulled all seven darts out of his hindquarters with his magic, sending them via teleport to the nearest sharps bin.  Shaking his body like a dog shaking off from the rain, Arca regained his composure.  "My bad, sorry!  Here we are."

Yearling looked around.  Aside from the booby trap, this place was just a cluttered and disorganized stockroom.  "And we're here because…?"  She trailed off, hoping against hope that Arca would explain.  The only thing of note was a six foot tall novelty potion bottle resting precariously atop the pile of books they had stopped in front of.

Arca abruptly stuck his hoof into the pile, shifting it around for a moment before pulling out a pristine first edition print of Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone.  "You're A.K. Yearling, right?  Right?  Can you autograph my book, please?"

Yearling let her mouth hang open.  She was utterly flabbergasted at the fact that this pony had dragged her down here for an autograph.  Damn fans, she thought, ready to put on her 'happy author face', sign the book and leave before Ahuizotl found clues as to the whereabouts of the Stone of Telecama.  She inhaled to begin her response, but a sudden rumble shook the nearby area.

Arca glanced down at the book.  "...oh, right.  I forgot that was load-bearing.  How are your sprinting skills, Miss Yearling?"

That was all the warning Yearling got before the pile of books shifted, dislodging the giant potion bottle as it rolled toward her like a boulder.  Yearling immediately turned and sprinted away towards the steps leading back upstairs, jumping over toppled bookshelves and old lab equipment as the bottle rolled after her.

"Huh.  You'd think that she'd try running to the side a bit.  Why do ponies always run in a straight line away from the big dangerous thing coming after them?"  He shrugged, watching Yearling narrowly make it up the steps as the bottle crashed into the wall moments later.  "Great.  Now that's blocking the exit.  I guess I'll ask Juniper to help me with that… but then she'll try to… ugh, reorganize the place.  I know exactly where everything is, it's not my fault it 'looks like a tornado came through here'!"

Yearling, meanwhile, made it up the steps and slammed the door shut behind her, heaving as she tried to catch her breath.  "I just… wanted… the Stone… of Telecama…"

"Oh, that old thing?"  Arca asked, flashing in beside her in a teleport.  "Aisle three, top shelf, right next to the anti-slip potions.  You can't miss it."

Yearling felt the last nerve in her psyche unwind, then snap.  "Are you TRYING to be funny?  There's no way an ancient magical artifact like that would be right… there."  She had stormed over to aisle three as her rant revved up, and sure enough, there it was: The Stone of Telecama.  A glittering orange gemstone said to grant entry to the ancient Maresopotamian vault of treasures.  She was awestruck… and then she saw the price tag.

"Six bits?!  Are you serious?"

Arca shrugged.  "Okay, okay, fine.  You drive a hard bargain.  Four."

"That- that's not what I meant by-"

"Also, can I have that autograph now?"