• Member Since 17th Jun, 2018
  • offline last seen Last Friday


Constantly distracted by shenanigans. Empowered by comments/messages. Exists as something between utter trash and the alicorn of comedy.


Chris has lived in Equestria for a few months now, and finally got his own place with help from Twilight and friends! Just one small problem, as he is quick to discover: ponies tend to just walk in unannounced. Can Chris keep his sanity intact as new ponies stop by every day to say hi in thier own special way?

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 52 )

Geez, I'm gonna feel bad for Chris the longer that this goes on... matter of fact...

"Aha! It's got to be in here!" Chris joyously proclaimed, swinging the door of his second, empty dresser wide open. "Gotcha, Spar...ky?" Instead of finding a hidden princess, Chris found himself staring down the barrel of a loaded party cannon.

How exactly can a loaded Party Cannon fit in a closet?


How exactly can a loaded Party Cannon fit in a closet?

……………………… this has my interest…….. but I feel sorry for the dude. I really do.

Yeah, welcome to that one house in video games that the hero just walks into unannounced.

yeah. in all the games in every RPG game there is...….. even dragon quest.

just t he right amount of insanity well done

How are they getting in if his door is locked? I mean, RD would've had to literally knock the door of its hinges just to get in.

I'll probably cover this later, but since Rquestria is such a peaceful, crimeless utopia where bad events are resolved in 30 minutes (including commercials) or less, there's never really been a need to lock your doors... or have locks at all.

In this ponyville, someone knocking at your door arou d midnight isn't some ominous guy coming to kill you. It's most likely Pinkie having a party or something.

Blue angel reject

That's a good one!

So he didn't even lock his door? I mean, that's how Twilight gotten in without him knowing. Next time, he should lock his door.

Let me reitierate: the door does not have a lock.
No doors in ponyville aside from the bank vault have locks.
This will be a plot point for a later gag.

Thanks, I try to be creative.

Seems interesting. Maybe little too much action but I think it makes this story start nicely. Followed.

Seems like it’s time to install locks...and reinforce doors and walls with iron or steel...and figure out anti teleportation wards...and brick up windows. If that sounds stressful take heart in that no matter what you do it won’t stop Pinkie.

Hum, could be an interesting story, hopes he turn into a pony.:pinkiehappy:

That would just ruin it to be honest

To be fair it might make for a good one-off chapter involving discord or something.

Hey new story your stuff always makes me laugh well what I've read anyway hows nick doing in canterlot by the way

Hope he renegades on letting dash stay and really lets pinkie have it for how annoying she can be

She is worse with boundaries than practically any other pony

…………………… (points a hand up) I like it...………….. :twilightsheepish:

Nicely done. Just one thing...

Maybe he'd run inti Luna, he liked talking with Luna.

I think you mean 'into' in that sentence

Great cute story! I'm digging your series so far. Keep it up! :twilightsmile: :pinkiehappy:

Thank you! I have other stories as well, if you need other reads.

Are we sure Chris is an NPC and not a monster? Not liking Banana Bread... what a monster

I died horribly in Morrowind thanks to Dragon Quest training. Somehow the word steal didn’t register to me until after the fact.

To be fair I would be upset if someone desecrated banana bread by adding nuts.

You eat straight Banana Bread? You're sick. You need the nuts to add another texture or else you just have banana flavored mush that's harder to eat than a normal banana.

Who would eat banana bread with nuts!?

I can’t stand mixtures of texture. It took literal decades and actual medication before I could stand to eat bread without cutting the crust off. That said, I prefer bread to banana as far as texture goes, so I consume it in that form.

Chris is lowkey me here. But, thanks to my food allergies, I can't have anything from a bakery, so I get a pass.

so he's been here long enough to know how powerful magic can be and hasn't asked the Celestia and Luna to ward his home against intrusion? Because that sets up a hilarious plot where he has his own lesson zero trying to figure out a way to STOP Pinkie from getting in anyways, and a way to stop Twilight from bypassing the wards while having to handle pinkie and/or twilight letting OTHER ponies in as well.

I do enjoy stories that decide that they will do whatever they please!

Twilight simply shook her head, and wondered how she was going to explain the bill that would inevitably result from this to her economics committee.

"Princess, why is there over 5000 bits for the water bill of one resident in Ponyville?"
"I can explain... though, out of curiosity, do you know any good places to store a cloudbank? Asking for a friend."

Got strong ‘My rainbow Horse and Me’ vibes at the start of this chapter.

………… please tell me that's not THE duck in there.

Either Chris is fast or Dash is taking it easy on him.

...duck? What du-
*glances at story*

(good job on spotting that reference!)

thanks. now if you'll excuse me...…. (hides in a bomb shelter)

You ever just walk into every house in an RPG, take thier shit, and talk to them like nothing's wrong?

Better question: Do I ever NOT?

Answer: No. I always check everywhere, and take everything not nailed down. Even if I can’t use it, I can sell it. Unless the game punishes you for stealing stuff that’s not yours, like Geneforge did.

I HATE banana nut bread!

Down voted and reported!:twilightangry2:

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When you guys were talking "the duck", I thought that you guys were talking about the highly destructive duck from duck simulator.
But then I double checked the name of the game, and it's actually "Untitled goose game", and that you play a goose.

Though from your comments, I get the impression that "the duck" is similarly destructive to the goose.

EDIT: Spacing

only one half of the destructive force. trust me on that when you read a different story.

I have a feeling if anypony else intrudes on his home, it might be Fluttershy and her animal friends. Like, it'll be that one scene in the animated Lorax movie where the bears birds and fishes invades the Onceler's home.

hey is this story gonna get more meat in it?? because its skinny as a toothpick.

is this story getting worked on again???????

Maybe. Work's busy and i can be called in every day, and i'm learning to voice-act. So my free time is limited ar best.

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