//------------------------------// // Nacho Average Day // Story: The Potion Shop // by Ashfur //------------------------------// Mayor Silver trotted to the train station in the early sunrise.  He was going off for his annual summoning before the crown to give his report on how the town was doing both physically and economically.  He also also had a separate report, the Arca report. Its contents need no explanation. Thankfully, it was early morning so there were few ponies waiting for the train.  As such, he could rest his aging body on one of the benches, trying to get comfortable.  There was a pony wrapped in a blanket next to him, sleeping. Odd, as homelessness was only a thing in Rainbow Falls after Arca had a particularly bad episode.  Still, he decided to be a gentlestallion and wake the poor soul up before any guards came by. He poked the sleeping form gently with a hoof. “Hey, I hate to be rude, but you might want to get up before you get in trouble, fella.”  After all, Silver thought, it's not like he was waking up a walking disaster magnet. The bundle of fabric shuffled, then a head poked out. “Good morning, Mayor Silver!” Scratch that, Silver had just woken up THE disaster magnet. “Arca.  Might I ask why you are sleeping out here… alone… even though you have a fully furnished house?  And good morning.” He added that last bit in, but far be it from him or any town native to not be nice to the pony who had seen them grow up and supported them. “Oh, I have an important delivery coming in on a train.” “I should have guessed that one, honestly.  Want to read the paper with me? Might help pass the time.” Arca made motions to respond, but the distant whistle of a train made his ears perk up.  Silver, on the other hoof, simply looked confused as the train pulled into the station. “Odd.  The trains don't usually run this early… I'm on the first one and it's not due in for another half hour.”  A pony emerged from the the only passenger car on the freight train, with six boxcars trailing behind it. Perhaps, Silver thought, this stallion would explain things. “Delivery for Arcane Catalyst!  Four train cars of cheddar cheese and two train cars of tortilla chips!” Of course it is.  Silver sighed.  “Well, I suppose I'll need to update the Arca report on the ride to Canterlot.  Why did you even get that much cheese for? Please don't tell me you're ‘upgrading’ your sofa fort.” Arcane finished signing for the delivery and teleported the contents of the boxcars away in a flash of light.  “Okay first off, it's a COUCH fort. Second, edibles aren't a good building material, at least for the support beams I need to add.   No, this is just stuff to make nachos.” “You need six train cars’ worth of supplies to make a snack?” “I REALLY like nachos.” Silver sat back down, and held the newspaper to his face so he couldn't see anything.  “I'm getting in the next train to Canterlot, Arca. Whatever you're planning, have it cleaned up by the time I get back Monday.” “Yes, sir!” Juniper woke up from a fantastic dream about a world made of food.  It was a great dream, and it made her ready to start the day, so she got herself breakfast and sat down to eat.  She sniffed the bowl of warm oatmeal, allowing the strong scent of cheese to overtake her. “Wait, cheese?” Sure enough, all she could smell was cheese.  It blocked out every other scent in her house, and that meant that there was a LOT of cheese nearby.  And whenever there was a ridiculous amount of something, there was usually one recurring culprit. So, deciding to forgo her morning meal for the time being, she flew out the front door and took to the skies, once more playing ‘spot the difference in town’.  She quickly noticed the situation, and flew down to investigate. “Boss! Boss!” “Oh, good morning Juniper!”  Arca smiled at his apprentice, bouncing eagerly on the high dive of the public pool.  “Did you come to swim, too?” “Boss, why is the pool filled with molten cheese and chips!?” “Well, you know how that pony who was giving motivational speeches last week said to follow your dreams?  I dreamed about this, and it's awesome! A whole pool full of nachos!” “Boss, this could be dangerous!” “Danger schmanger!  I only have one thing to say to that Juniper!”  Arca bounced a bit higher on the diving board, ready to leap. “And that would be…?” “MUCHOS NACHOS, MUCHACHOS!” And with that, he dove in, making a bloop noise as he entered the mixture.  There was around three seconds of peace and quiet before Arca emerged from the near-boiling liquid, screaming his lungs out in pain, and running off, crashing through the pool's fence while he was at it. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Today was a very important day.  The shop was perfectly decorated, the camera crew was ready along with several high-ranking staff and investors, and Emerald Essence was wearing her best, most expensive dress.  It had taken years of careful investments and saving, but her franchise was about to welcome a very important pony. She turned around and addressed her team one more time. “Alright, ponies.  It's been a few years since our last milestone, so you all might be a tad rusty… for your own sake, don't be!  Whoever walks through that door next and buys something is our official ten millionth customer, be they pony or... otherwise!”  she shuddered at the thought of having to be cheerful and welcoming to, Celestia forbid, a Griffin or even worse, a Zebra. It was a pretty well-known fact that Emerald was one of the most specist ponies around.  Still, she was willing to swallow her pride for good press, as their ten millionth customer would be receiving a free (she mentally shuddered again at that word) necklace worth around three thousand bits, and have their picture on national news.  She could not screw this up. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" With no warning, a giant blob of molten cheese that appeared to be wailing in agony burst through the door to the shop.  Surprisingly enough, it did stop to wipe its hooves while still screeching, then resumed its blind rampage as it knocked over displays, flung gooey cheese all over the reporters and investors, and stained Emerald's white dress.  All the while it continued screaming and crashing into things, leaving a trail of sticky destruction in its wake and causing irrevocable stains on the walls, carpet, and ceilings. Emerald just stood with her jaw wide open in shock as she watched her shop get trashed by a monster.  But, in the confusion, it knocked over the display of candy necklaces Emerald had for foals, and managed to toss a bag of bits onto the counter, essentially qualifying it as a customer.  Cameras went off and Emerald could only stare as the blob of molten cheese walked right by her, the giveaway necklace being picked up in a magical field and a high-temperature mix of chips, cheese, and candy necklace was shoved in her mouth. “AAAAAAAAAA-Thanksforthegifthavesomenachos-AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!” And with that, the still-blinded blob creature ran out of the shop still wailing in pain, leaving Emerald to seriously question: “What the everliving BUCK just happened?!” The reporters swarmed in, trying to hold back laughter.  “Can we quote you on that, Miss Essence? Anything you want to say about your, heh, ten millionth customer?” “GET OUT OF MY STORE!!”