• Member Since 14th Sep, 2012

JackobolTrades


Jack of all trades, master of none. I've got too many ideas and not enough time, so expect few updates on a bunch of stories.

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Found 425 stories in 92ms

Total Words: 36,934,636
Estimated Reading: 14 weeks

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Given a unique perspective on negative emotion, less than a foal's knowledge of ordinary magic, a healthy schadenfreude, and danger bearing down on all sides, the self-proclaimed "Weiss Noir" makes no plans accounting for his death, and plans to keep it that way, even after being torn away from earth, turned into a unicorn, and dumped into one of the most inhospitable locations and times in all of Equestria.

Stranded in the Frozen North, a place where biting cold ends lives, and one thousand years in the past, in a time when peril is the norm, rather than the exception, Weiss decides to indulge in sorcery most foul, stolen ideas, and human ingenuity to survive.

Given the choice between a mad slaver and a mad sage, however, there is no avoiding an inevitable tide of ponies escaping the conquered Crystal Empire to bask in the warmth of his well-stoked hate. Something which draws attention, enemies, and most worryingly, the rivalry of his "peers".

Join the Discord for free Discussion!

Chapters (160)
T
Source

Story version of the post of the same name! Credit for the concept goes entirely to Whiskeylullaby.


It's been a couple years or so ever since the Dimensional Tear Incident of 2018—something that no one would've ever thought of happening. On both worlds, everyone is still getting used to the fact that alien life does indeed exist, some coming to terms faster than others. Cultural exchange is slow but relations only continue to get stronger.

In a show of kindness, the U.S sends a volunteer over to the Equestrian side to help manage their security problems; something that's been plaguing them for quite some time now.

It is quite the shame that MA Brandt is in for quite the shock.

Chapters (5)
T

This story is a sequel to Necromancy For Foals


Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash find themselves drawn by the call of the cutie map to a jungle in the middle of nowhere. Drawn further by the knowledge of an ancient temple, they are confronted with icy cold and a sense of dread.

A Necromancer was sealed away in this temple a thousand years ago.

Now, he is waking up...



((Sequel to Necromancy for Foals. Artwork by The-Minuscule-Task on Tumblr.))

Chapters (15)
T

XCOM Record: Operation: Rising Star
11:52 am, 18th Febuary, 2016
Northwestern Territories, Canada.

Summary: Witness reports contact with extra-terrestrial creature. X-ray is unconcious and unresponsive. X-ray does not match description of previously observed species.

Response: Strike-One dispatched on high alert, orders are to recover X-ray alive. Alien Containment prepared for the new arrival.

***

The war ended. They were beaten back, their mothership destroyed, their command structure in ruins. Lost ships and soldiers continued in vain, but thanks to XCOM, humanity won, and the world was saved. The Volunteer saw to that - everything changed because of one man.

And then suddenly, everything changed again. Only this time, it's not a man's doing - it's a mare's.



Proofreading by the aweome Setokaiva, entirely without me asking!
Tagged Dark and rated Teen: Gore, because there is going to be some blood shed by the end of this.

Chapters (20)
T
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Ragar the Ageless has seen many things in his non-life. He has seen fields of cotton candy, the wails of the soon-to-be-dead chanting in chorus. Once he even saw a unicorn. Well, there are a lot of those in Equestria, so maybe that one was less noteworthy. But still, he's seen a lot. Now he wants others to see him in all his glorious evil. The only issue is he's not so good at it.

** EDIT **

Well crap, featured with every chapter. I feel all special and stuff. So let me give you all some love. You're all wonderful people, trees or whatever internet capable folks have been reading.

Dang, look at all those likes. I'm feeling the love. Thank all of you for enjoying my wonderful trip through insane necromancy.

Many Thanks to Locke_Jaw for his wonderful artwork that is my new cover.

Chapters (24)
T
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This story is a sequel to Man Cannot Live On Tea Alone


Jake is a human, pulled into Equestria by a magic mishap. Rarity is a fashionista, businessmare, and all-around interesting pony. Jake and Rarity go out for coffee and conversation, and enjoy each other's company. Can Jake match wits with Rarity? Can he keep up with the savvy, sassy mare that he's come to appreciate?

No. No, probably not.

Rated T for Sassy Waitresses, Blushing Ponies, and Ponies That Are So Cute They'll Make You Die. (Oh, and violence!)

Story inspired by gign-3208's beautiful art.

It is highly recommended you read the prequel story first, but this story can stand on it's own thanks to a preface at the beginning that can bring new readers up to speed.

Special thanks to SS&E, Fourths, and Jern for editing.

Chapters (14)
T

A millennium ago, give or take, Princesses Celestia and Luna were nearly defeated by the most powerful villain that they had ever faced, Grogar, the dreaded lord of Tambelon. Thanks only to the whims of random chance, the two princesses survived that encounter, but have been forced to live in fear of the time of his inevitable return. That time is now...

...But whatever revival was intended has gone a little... wrong. Behind the wheels of Grogar's body is the spirit of a slightly extremely eccentric human. Equestria would have been lucky to survive the real Grogar, but will the ponies fare any better with this loon ruling Tambelon?

Sex Tag For Sexy Times Reasons, Gore Tag For Gorey Time Reasons.

You. Have. Been. Warned.

Chapters (13)
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This story is a sequel to Emerald Gleaner: Retired Monster


[Prototype 2] X MLP:FiM Crossover

Beset by a mountains of work both official and secret, Emerald has barely time left to herself anymore. Can one still become exhausted even if they physically can't? When does paranoia do more harm than good?

When people stop trying to kill you of course!

Chapters (10)
E
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Herman always believed that ponies were an exceedingly friendly bunch, and he figured it was in their nature to be open and kind to all strangers—even to those of different races. But what if he was wrong? What if there was another explanation?

He mentions this fact in his memoirs, but shortly after he sends them to be published he is informed that the Royal Guard wants him for questioning in Canterlot.


Additional notes:
-Equestria Girls is not canon
Proofread by: Eckaji, Snakeskin Ducttape, Javarod, ROBCakeran53, and PresentPerfect
Artwork by: Ruirik
Featured on Equestria Daily
Review link: PresentPerfect and PaulAsaran

Chapters (8)
T

My name is David and I think I'm going crazy. I am stuck in two different worlds and I can't tell which one is real. My therapist is no help.

I'm telling my story regardless of whether you believe me. So listen up and listen good because things get weird.

Chapters (4)