Man Cannot Live On Coffee Alone

by PropMaster

8: Man Cannot Meet The Parents Alone

I returned to the Castle of Friendship that evening feeling tired, but far more at peace than I had been in a week. Sapphire and Dusky trotted alongside me, chatting quietly, and I was content to ignore them as I walked through the quiet streets and back to the castle. When we reached the front door, Sapphire called out softly. "Jake?"

"Hm?" I glanced up at her, pausing before opening the door.

"I'm going to head back to Canterlot and report in. Dusky is going to stay here for the night, and we're going to figure out whether you still are supposed to be under guard or not," she explained, smiling up at me.

"Oh, yeah. That sounds good," I said, nodding slowly. "You probably don't want to hang around so far from home, right? Considering I'm staying here to help Spike, it's probably a good idea to get things figured out with the Princesses and your commanders."

Dusky chimed in, "Princess Celestia has been trying to convince Princess Twilight to get a few guards of her own. I'm sure they're going to use the fact that you're staying here to send a few guards down on temporary assignment for the next few days... hopefully Twilight will like having some guards around the castle to help her, and they might end up being permanent stations."

I laughed. "Always working an angle."

"You know the Princesses. They are very good at taking advantage of fortuitous situations," Dusky said, nodding vigorously.

"They are at that. All right, Sapphire, I guess you're off the hook. Too bad, I was looking forward to a sleepover with you," I said, winking at the pegasus mare.

Sapphire snorted. "Sure you were. I'm just happy to get to go home and sleep in my own bunk. Dusky here is the real hero," she said, nudging her counterpart.

"I'm getting paid overtime. There's nothing heroic about wanting a little extra coin," Dusky replied, looking smug.

"You don't want us to walk you to the train station?" I asked Sapphire, earning a raised eyebrow from her. "What? I thought it was the gentlemanly thing to do."

Sapphire laughed, shaking her head, and started trotting away. She called over her shoulder, "See you boys later. And be careful, Jake. The last time Celestia sent one of her pupils down here, it became a permanent move."

"I'm not going anywhere," I called back, turning and facing Dusky. "Well, Dusky. Looks like it's just us guys."

"Just us stallions and a unicorn mare," Dusky observed, looking around my side to the front door, which was now slightly open. A light pink unicorn mare with a curled purple mane with streaks of cyan stood in the doorway, giving us a confused look. "Good evening. You must be Starlight Glimmer," Dusky said, giving the mare a deferential nod.

"Um, hello. I just heard ponies talking out here and wondered what was going on. I should have guessed that it was going to be our guest for the next few days," the mare, Starlight, said as she looked up at me with curiosity, her ears perking forward as she looked me over. "I thought you'd be taller," she said with a wry grin.

"A lot of ponies say that," I said, and I extended my fist. "I'm Jake, temporary assistant to Spike."

Starlight eyed my hand before reaching up with one hoof and giving my knuckles a gentle tap. "Pleased to meet you. I'm Starlight Glimmer, and I'm Princess Twilight's... friend." She shook her head, smiling to herself. "Excuse the hesitation, I'm used to introducing myself as her student, but I graduated from that phase of my life a few months ago."

I cocked my head, curious about her choice of words, but decided to let it drop for now. "This is Specialist Dusky Roads, my night guard. He's going to be with me until the morning, and by then we should have gotten things worked out with the Princesses, and I'll have a few rotating guards around."

"Oh? I thought Twilight said that you were going to leave your guards in Canterlot," Starlight said, motioning for Dusky and I to step inside, and she walked into the foyer of the castle.

Dusky cleared his throat. "Jake's situation is a special case. I'm sticking with him until I get new orders."

Starlight chuckled. "Oh, well, all right. It's just awfully convenient that your guards are going to be forced to stick around, and right after Princess Celestia tried to convince Twilight to get a few guards for the castle..." she said, trailing off and casting a knowing look our way.

I leaned over to Dusky and fake-whispered, "She's onto us."

Dusky kept his professional demeanor, even though his ears drooped a bit. "Perhaps."

Starlight giggled at the two of us. "Don't worry. I actually think it'd be a good idea, but Twilight is really adamant that the Castle of Friendship stay as approachable and friendly as possible, and she worries that a few armored guards might give ponies the wrong impression."

"I guess that's fair," I said, glancing at Dusky. "These guys are pretty intimidating. Y'know, for ponies," I added, nudging Dusky in the flank with my knee. Dusky shot me a glare of mock-indignation.

"Anyway, I don't want to keep you up. You look... like a bit of a mess, if I'm being honest. There's a shower in the guest room that Twilight told me you were staying in, you should take advantage of it," the little unicorn said with a wrinkle of her nose.

I glanced down at my messy shirt and dirty pants—reminders that I got into a fight with a pegasus earlier today—and shrugged. "Yeah, you're right. I'll need some fresh clothes... hopefully Sapphire brings some tomorrow."

"I'll show you where your room is, and then I think I'm going to turn in, too. Follow me!" Starlight said, trotting towards the inner halls of the castle. Dusky and I followed her, and I caught a glimpse of a few more large rooms and a kitchen before we arrived at a decorated door. "This is you. I'm the next door over, across the hall, so if you need anything, just knock," Starlight said with a grin and a little wave. "Have a good night!"

"Thanks, Starlight. It was nice meeting you," I said as I pushed open my door.

"Nice to meet you as well. Welcome to the club," Starlight said with a wink, as she headed down the hall towards her room.

I raised an eyebrow at Dusky. "The club?"

Dusky gave me a shrug in reply, and he moved through the door and into my room first. He tapped a manalight as he passed, illuminating the dark room in soft light. It was a nice room with a king-sized bed, a desk and chair, and a chest of drawers. A door on the side revealed a small bathroom with the promised shower. I let out a slow sigh and sat down on the bed, rubbing at my chest. My ribs still ached, and I glanced down at my knuckles, noting that one was starting to swell up. "God, what a day."

"Indeed," Dusky said quietly, as he peeked into the bathroom. "Would you mind letting me use the shower after you? I've been in armor all day, and a chance to clean up sounds excellent."

"Absolutely. You deserve it. I'm sorry for the shit I put you through today, Dusky," I said, rising to my feet with a grunt and heading for the bathroom.

"It is forgiven," Dusky replied, shrugging. "Just be more careful, please. Watching over you is complicated enough without having to worry about angry pegasus mares dive-bombing you."

I chuckled. "Yeah, no kidding. Thank you, though. I know it's your job to take care of me, but I still appreciate it," I said, turning in the doorway to give Dusky an earnest look.

"Of course," Dusky said with a nod. "You're welcome. Now, get in that shower before I shove you in there. I'm waiting my turn, remember?"

---

The next morning started early, and I was awoken by a soft touch to my cheek. I grimaced and turned over, before a more insistent brush across my nose made me wake up. Sapphire stood beside my bed, and had one wing outstretched. She was grinning as she tickled my cheek with an outstretched primary feather, and she graced me with a laugh as I squinted blearily at her. "Good morning. I brought you some stuff from your quarters in Canterlot. I figured you'd rather not have to wear the same pair of dirty clothes for two days." She gestured to a big duffel bag that had been placed at the foot of my bed.

I sat up in bed and rubbed at my eyes. "Thanks, Sapphire. You sleep okay?"

"Well enough. I was up early to grab your things and catch the train down to Ponyville. We've got some support as well; Celestia sent along two more guards to assist with securing the Castle of Friendship," Sapphire said, sitting down on the floor.

"Yeah? I'm sure Twilight is thrilled about that," I said, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and reaching for the bag. Sapphire watched with interest as I peeked inside. Two shirts, two pairs of pants, eight socks, and... zero extra pairs of underwear. Of course she'd forget about that. I sighed. "You forgot underwear."

Sapphire blinked. "Which ones are those, again?"

"It's fine, I'll just get some laundry done and... go commando in the meantime, I guess," I said, picking a clean, long-sleeved shirt and a pair of pants. I'd have to drop by Rarity's again later and pick up all the clothes she'd made for me. The thought of seeing her again sent a happy thrill through me. It was good to feel good about seeing her again. We'd still have some things to work out, but being on the right track was a far better place to be in than the awkward, angry feelings of before.

"Commando?" Sapphire asked, interrupting my train of thought as she cast me a mildly concerned look.

"Yeah. It's..." How does one explain the concept of underpants—or the lack thereof—to a pony that regularly walks around naked? "It's really not important. Thanks, though, you got everything else I need." I dug a little deeper and found my little shaving kit and some of my shampoo and deodorant from my bathroom at the palace. "Awesome, I needed these, too."

I stood up and shoo'd Sapphire out. She cast me a pouty face as she trotted out, her tail flicking with amusement. I shook my head and got freshened up and dressed, tucking my dirty clothes into a ball under my arm as I walked out of my room. I met Sapphire in the hall, and she gestured to me. "Follow me. Spike showed me where the laundry is, he said that you can toss your clothes into the hamper and you both will take care of it later. It's apparently part of your duties as Majordomo to the Princess of Friendship."

I blinked. "I guess he technically is Twilight's majordomo, isn't he?"

"He's been growing up doing basically that, only now that Twilight is royalty, it's a mostly official title."

"Cool," I said as we paused outside an open door. There was a mostly empty room with some washbasins set up, and a line for drying clothes with a heat emitting gem set into the middle to assist with the drying process. Most washing in Equestria was done by hoof or magic, I'd learned, as most of the clothes that were worn were typically made for nobility or upper class ponies. That meant complex clothing that needed special attention and care, as clothing was not as omnipresent as it was on Earth. I set my dirty clothes into a hamper, alongside a dressy looking gown. "I remember how long it took me to get used to you guys always walking around naked," I commented to Sapphire.

Sapphire giggled. "I remember how long it took me to get used to you always walking around wearing clothes."

"We humans don't have the luxury of easily hidden bits, I'm afraid," I said, as I turned and followed Sapphire down the hallway as she led me towards the front rooms, presumably to where Spike was waiting. "And we don't have tails to hide what we do have."

Sapphire looked over her shoulder. "You learned proper Equestrian manners, though. I almost never catch you eyeing mare's flanks anymore."

"Twilight trained me well," I said with a wink. "Also, I'm way better at being subtle about it," I added, sticking my tongue out at Sapphire.

Sapphire rolled her eyes. "Ugh. Don't be crass!" she said, laughing at my crude humor.

We arrived in the front hall, and Spike was indeed waiting for us. "Hey, Jake. I made breakfast for us. You ready to get to work?"

I gave him a nod. "Absolutely. And, good morning to you. When are you usually up?"

"Around now, but I got up extra early to make sure we had an easy start to the morning!" Spike gestured towards a larger door set more in the central portion of the castle, and lead me through. Inside was a massive, circular table with a glowing projected map of Equestria on it. At least, I assumed it was Equestria. Six large thrones and one smaller throne sat around the table. Sapphire audibly gasped. I whistled, eyes widening, and Spike cast me a grin. "Yeah, pretty cool, eh?"

"No joke. What is this?"

"It's a magical map of Equestria, and it shows us if we're ever needed to solve a friendship problem somewhere in the world. It's sorta an... early-warning system, I guess?" Spike explained, walking around to one edge of the large table and hopping up onto the small throne. He reached out and ran a hand through the projection a few times, and after a moment it winked out, leaving a large crystal surface. Hidden beneath the projection were two plates and a mug of glorious, steaming hot coffee. One plate was loaded with scrambled eggs and pancakes, and the other had pancakes that glittered slightly, and seemed to have gemstones sprinkled on top. "Here we go. Dig in!"

I sat down in one of the larger thrones, glancing up at the back of the seat. It was emblazoned with Rarity's cutie mark. I looked over towards Sapphire, who had assumed her typical post near the entrance to the door. "Have you eaten yet, Sapphire?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Jake," Sapphire replied.

I shrugged and turned to my plate, grabbing a provided fork and digging in. The eggs were buttery and delicious, and the pancakes were dense and hearty, with plenty of syrup. I reached out for the mug and took a long drink of my beloved coffee. It was strong, and bitter, and it made me feel like the day could only get better. "Thanks god for strong coffee," I mumbled to myself. As I ate, I watched with fascination as Spike crunched through his pancakes. "Is that rock candy on top of your pancakes?"

Spike glanced up, mid-bite. "Mmf?" He swallowed, and grinned. "Oh! Nope, those are real gemstones. They contain minerals that are important for a growing dragon. They keep my scales hard and my spikes shiny!" He plucked a single gem from atop one pancake and crunched into it with relish.

I shook my head. "The wonders never cease," I murmured to myself as I finished off breakfast.

After we'd cleared our plates, and I'd been introduced to the impressive castle kitchen, Spike led me to the library. Sapphire followed and posted herself outside the main door to the library. The library was still as impressive as the first time I'd seen it yesterday, albeit slightly messier. "So, this is where the magic happens, eh?"

"Well, Twilight casts magic pretty much everywhere. But this is where the research for the magic happens, and boy is it messy work. Ink stains, crumpled paper, unorganized books... it's a lot to do, and it's always the first job of the day!" Spike said, gesturing around to a few of the tables loaded with notes.

"We're up before Twilight, then. Does she usually work late, and then sleep in?" I asked as I approached one of the tables.

"Yeah. She really burns the midnight oil, and then crashes and sleeps until a bit before noon. She'd usually wake up earlier, but she's been up late the last few nights trying to finalize the plans and organization for the Festival of Friendship," Spike said.

"Ah. How's that going?" I asked, peering at the notes.

"Good. It's going to be a lot, but Twilight has what it takes. She's really nervous, and overworking herself, but she's got it all in place, and now it's just down to execution. Everypony is pitching in to help, too," Spike explained as he began picking up the discarded books from the table. "I'll work on getting these books reshelved. Do you want to start working on cleaning up the ink stains? I've got a rag and a bottle of ink remover tucked into that drawer on the desk."

I smirked and grabbed the rag and clear bottle of blue-ish liquid, and started scrubbing away the bits of dried ink from the table. It was mindless work, which was fine, because it gave me an opportunity to talk with Spike as I painstakingly scratched away at some of the tougher stains. "So, you do stuff like this every day?"

"Yeah. I always wanted to help Twilight when I was really little, and so she tried to include me in small ways. I know I can't use magic like she does, so I've always tried to find ways to make her magic easier or help her research, or anything else she needed. She only ever had one goal when we were growing up, and I've always tried to support her," Spike explained, his voice carrying across the room from the stacks.

"I knew you and Twilight grew up together, basically. She's older than you by a bit, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, by about six years. She hatched me as part of her magic exam to get into Princess Celestia's school, and she and Princess Celestia took care of me when I was very small... but Twilight and I were always inseparable. Twilight's whole family basically adopted me, and Twilight and I have been together ever since."

"Wow. And you've always just been Twilight's assistant?" I said, finishing cleaning one table and moving along to the next one.

"You say 'just' like it's a bad thing," Spike said, approaching me and gathering up another armload of books. "I really like it, though."

"Well, I don't mean that it's bad... but, do you have things you want to do? Things besides supporting Twilight?" I said, peering down at him with curiosity.

Spike stopped for a moment, considering my question. "I mean, yeah. I'm still growing up, and I have a lot of time ahead of me. Dragons live much longer than ponies, you know, so I figure I've got a lot of time to figure myself out and what I want out of life. In the meantime, though, I collect comic books, and I spend time with my friends, and I study and learn stuff with Twilight."

I nodded slowly, focusing once more on my task. The silence stretched as we worked in tandem, and within an hour we had everything cleaned up in the library. "All right, that's that. What's next?"

Before Spike could reply, Twilight walked into the library. She had a bad case of bed head, her mane rumpled and tail askew, and she held a cup of coffee in her telekinesis. She gave Spike and I a mumbled greeting, sat down at one of the tables, and took a long, slow sip of her coffee. I chuckled. "Not a morning pony, eh?" Twilight's eyes wandered from her coffee cup to my face, and she peered at me with a complete lack of comprehension. Her eyes widened, suddenly, and she disappeared with a pop of teleportation magic, leaving her cup of coffee behind. I smirked at Spike. "She totally forgot I was here."

Spike laughed, nodding. "Yeah. She's definitely not a morning pony, but I think Starlight and I are the only ones she doesn't mind being a total mess around."

Twilight re-appeared in a flash of light, blushing slightly. Her mane had been somewhat tamed, and her tail was straightened and in better order, and she chuckled nervously as she returned to her seat. "Good morning, Jake. Sorry, I'm not used to having visitors so early."

"It's fine. I usually need a cup of coffee to function most days." Usually from Joe's. And usually with Rarity. The thought that I didn't have to face another dull morning at Joe's without Rarity, and that we could potentially get back to our routine soon, was a warm one.

Twilight gave me an appreciative nod as she finished her coffee. "So, I see you boys got an early start. What's next on the agenda?"

"Well, I wanted to check in with Applejack and Pinkie Pie, next. Make sure that they've ordered all the supplies that they'll need to help cater the festival, see if there's anything else they wanted help with... and maybe," Spike cast me a glance, "drop by Rarity's. She's supposed to help with decorations for the festival and the stage, but I think she might be running behind."

I considered the list of things. "That seems like a lot. What do you want to tackle first?"

"I really want to make sure that Pinkie and Applejack have everything they need, because I think talking with Rarity is going to take up a lot of time..." Spike explained, glancing down at his feet with a nervous blush. "I'm really nervous about that, actually."

"Well, then we should probably go see her, first," I said, smirking at him.

"What?! Why?" Spike said, recoiling from me.

"It's like ripping a band-aid off. Just gotta grit your teeth and get the hurt over with, so you can finish healing," I replied, gesturing towards the doorway. "Come on, buster. You can't put it off forever, you know?"

Spike swallowed nervously. "Yeah... I know. I just don't want to get upset again, or make Rarity feel sad. She's got a lot to work on, and I'm worried she'll fall even further behind."

I sighed, shaking my head. "Well, you know what I think, but I'm not the one in charge here. We can go see Applejack and Pinkie Pie first and get that sorted out."

Twilight had watched this exchange quietly, but she chimed in now. "You know, I think Jake is right. You should go and speak to Rarity first. I know you'll feel much better with that situation resolved and all those feelings off your chest."

Spike frowned, thinking hard, and I gave him his space to make a decision, busying myself with stacking some fresh paper on the table near Twilight, who had just finished her coffee and was eyeing a scroll with a long to-do list on it. Just as Spike seemed to be about to make a decision, Starlight Glimmer trotted into the library. "Hey, everypony. You'll never guess who I just spotted, rushing around the market."

"Rarity?" Spike asked.

Starlight's eyes widened. "How'd you know?"

"We were just talking about her, and then you walked in and said that. I know how the universe works, it couldn't be coincidence," Spike said sagely.

"What's Rarity doing at the market?" I asked, curious.

"She's in a panic, to put it mildly. I guess she found out that her parents are coming to visit her, and she's been so busy 'wallowing' that she hasn't taken care of the boutique or anything for a few days, and now she's trying to get everything cleaned up and prepared at the last minute," Starlight said. "She didn't ask me for help, but I have a feeling that she really could use somepony right about now."

I glanced at Spike and raised an eyebrow at him, and he blushed. "W-well... I guess we could go see her, and offer to help her out."

"But, what about the preparations for the Festival of Friendship?" Twilight asked Spike. "Even if Rarity is having a minor crisis of some kind, we still need to make sure that everypony has what they need."

Spike glanced between Starlight and Twilight, and sighed. "We should get our job done, first," Spike said, frowning, "but it sounds like Rarity probably needs help, too." His eyes slowly settled on me, and he smiled as an idea struck him. "Actually, this is perfect! Jake, can you go and see Pinkie Pie and Applejack and make sure that they don't need any extra stuff for the catering for the Festival? I'll go ahead to Rarity's house. I'm a master at cleaning, and it also gives me the opportunity to talk with her, and since I have you with me, I can delegate and get everything done at the same time!"

I chuckled. "All right, you're the boss, Spike. You sure you'll be okay having a chat with her by yourself?"

Spike waved a claw in the air dismissively. "Pfft, yeah, of course! Can you handle taking down any orders that Pinkie Pie and Applejack need?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, no problem. I basically do that for a living, now that I work for the crown."

"Great! I'll head over there right now, and then you can meet me there after you're done," Spike said, and with that, he dashed towards the door. "Thanks, Jake!"

I watched him go and shook my head, laughing. "He's pretty eager, isn't he?"

Twilight giggled. "I think that he's still young enough that he doesn't get too caught up in overthinking things. I think he'd rather just go back to secretly worshiping Rarity."

Starlight rolled her eyes, but smiled. "I think he's just a good dragon. He's not willing to let one bad thing ruin a good friendship."

"Well, good. I'm glad that things can approach something similar to normal, anyway," I said. "I'd hate to think that what happened caused any permanent damage to their friendship."

Twilight sighed, producing a bunch of scrolls in a burst of magic. "While he's gone, I've got some more to get done with contacting a few neighboring townships, and seeing about getting more lowered rates for rooms in nearby hotels and stables. I've been told that there's so many ponies coming to the festival, most of the places to stay in Canterlot are full up."

"Sounds like a good problem to have," I said, grinning. "Your advertising, at least, has been a success."

"Seems like it. Starlight, would you help me out with these? I can cover these three towns, if you can get these two?" Twilight said, gesturing Starlight over and giving me a little wave. I knew a royal dismissal when I saw one, but I had a moment of inspiration.

"Hey, Twilight? If you need help getting word out to some of the nearby towns, why don't you ask Sapphire? She's stationed here, and she doesn't need to be guarding me all the time, so she could probably do something for you," I said, gesturing towards the door. Sapphire had heard her name mentioned, and she poked her head around the door frame, casting a curious look my way.

"Jake... are you volunteering me for something?" Sapphire asked, her eyes narrowing. Twilight, in the meantime, cast a thoughtful glance towards the pegasus guard.

"Yes, I am. I'll make it up to you," I said, grinning as I walked past her.

"Corporal Spirit, if you don't mind, I actually could use your help," I heard Twilight ask, and Sapphire shot me a surprised look before she straightened up and trotted into the library. I gave myself a mental high-five, having both ditched my guard detail and moved Twilight Sparkle one step closer to seeing how nice it was to have guards around—something that I'd absolutely take credit for the next time I spoke with Princess Celestia. In the meantime, however, there were ponies to see about food orders.

---

The bell above the front door into Sugar Cube Corner jingled merrily, announcing my arrival as I stepped inside the bakery. Pinkie Pie was on me in an instant, like watching a magnet attract metal. She practically clung to me like that was the case, at least. "Jakey! You're here!"

"Hey, Pinkie," I said, squirming a bit as she clung to my waist in an almost-too-tight hug. "Nice to see you, too."

Pinkie looked up at me, beaming from ear to fuzzy ear. "I heard that you and Rarity made up! I'm so glad!"

I squinted at her. "How could you possibly know that? Did Rarity tell you?"

"She dropped in for a post-despair, pre-panic breakfast treat. Red velvet cupcake, cream cheese frosting, with a little sprinkle of pink Yakyakistani salt on top. It's her secret favorite!" Pinkie explained.

"Not much of a secret if you just told me," I said, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Pfft, you don't count. You need to know these things so that you can surprise Rarity sometimes. Little gestures like that make a mare blush and feel all warm-fuzzy!" Pinkie said with a wink, reaching up to squish my cheeks. I batted her hooves away, making her giggle.

"All right, well, thanks for the tip. I'll keep that in mind," I said with a nod, patting her atop her fluffy mane. My fingers made contact with something inside her mane, and I blinked. "There's something in your—" Before I could finish, I had to wrench my hand back as a tiny green lizard leapt from inside Pinkie's mane and snapped at my fingers. "Holy shit!"

"Oh, Gummy!" Pinkie squealed happily, reaching up and snagging the small reptile, which I recognized on second glance as an alligator. "Jake, you haven't met Gummy yet!" She held up the alligator, which stared through me with unblinking eyes.

"You keep an alligator in your mane?" I said, taking a step back from her.

"Yeah, of course. Where else would I keep him?" Pinkie asked, staring at me blankly.

"In... a swamp? Where he can't hurt anybody?" I said slowly. Pinkie pondered my assertion for a moment, before snorting.

"You obviously don't know much about alligators!" Pinkie grinned at me, and tapped Gummy on the snout. His tiny mouth opened up, revealing a distinct lack of teeth. "Besides, there's nothing to worry about. He doesn't have any chompers to chomp with!" She looked down at the alligator fondly and set him on the floor. "Isn't that right, Gummy?" Gummy blinked a slow blink in reply, and then scuttled under a nearby chair.

I shook my head, exhaling slowly. "Right. Well, I'm here to check in and make sure you have everything you need to help cater the Festival of Friendship. How are you doing with that?"

Pinkie clapped her hooves together and squealed, "It's going great! I've been testing out all sorts of terrific treats to tantalize the festival attendees! I've got plans for a super gigantic cake, too, with buttercream frosting!" She grabbed me by the hand with both hooves, and she pulled me forward into the kitchen. It was a sort of disorienting moment, because we'd been at least twenty feet from the door to the kitchen, but we were suddenly and unmistakably inside it. I briefly wondered if all the stress I'd been feeling had been affecting me more than I'd realized, but Pinkie's continued stream of comments snapped me out of my musing. "We've got a dozen different kinds of cookies, six types of cupcakes, and four totally wild cakes that I haven't quite perfected yet!" Pinkie spun in place, gesturing to the varieties of baked goods she was preparing. "I was thinking something exciting and exotic, so I made a star apple and coconut cake, but Rainbow Dash and Rarity said they'd had enough coconut and star apple to last them a lifetime after their last vacation, so I think I need to come up with something different."

I blinked, doing my best to follow what Pinkie wanted, but my brain got stuck. "Vacation? Rarity never mentioned a vacation."

Pinkie frowned, tapping a hoof to her chin, and then grinned. "Oh, never mind that. It's easy to get confused sometimes. I think I read too many stories! I was reading one about ponies and changelings in space the other day. Crazy! But that's neither here, nor there, or even Mars! Regardless, there's not much time left, and I need to get one really crazy cake made as a special Festival of Friendship exclusive! Something one of a kind! So, since you're literally from a different planet, I was hoping you might have an idea."

I decided to ignore everything that didn't make sense, and focus on the request. "An idea for a cake, huh?"

"Yeah! Something totally new!" Pinkie said with a grin, leaning forward and staring at me with an expectant look, her ears quivering and her tail practically wagging. I closed my eyes and crossed my arms, thinking hard about unique flavors that I knew about from my world. After a minute, I had an idea.

"What about a fruit tart?" I asked. Pinkie looked less than impressed.

"What about a fruit tart? Fruit tarts aren't unique," Pinkie said, her ears going flat.

"Ah, but what about a fruit tart with a topping that nobody would ever expect?" I said, grinning a sly grin. Now I had Pinkie's attention. "Mango."

"Mango?" Pinkie asked, frowning.

"Mango... and chili powder," I declared, nodding sagely.

"Mango and chili powder?" Pinkie said, squinting at me.

"Yes. Mango and chili powder, and a little sweetened, condensed milk." I said with an air of finality. Pinkie's squint deepened. Her frown grew more frown-y. And then her eyes widened and her jaw dropped open and she gasped.

"Jake. You're a genius!" She shouted, zipping around the kitchen as she grabbed ingredients. I was startled to find a mango, chili powder, and condensed milk gathered together in a non-Hispanic kitchen, but I suppose that if Pinkie had been trying out unorthodox recipes, she might have gone with the kitchen-sink method of ingredient purchase. "Mango for a tart, acid, sweetness. And then condensed milk, but just a little, to cut the acid," Pinkie said, peeling and slicing a mango and drizzling a thin line of sweetened condensed milk atop the slices, "and then a good dusting of chili powder on top, to really make the fruit flavor pop, and bring a bit of complexity to the flavors! And with the condensed milk, it helps the chili powder stick to the fruit!" Pinkie stared at the sweet, spicy, colorful concoction, eyes wide with excitement at the impending taste of a new flavor combination.

I reached out and grabbed a slice, and held it up. "¡Salud!" Pinkie took a slice of her own and raised it high, and tapped hers to mine.

"¡Felicidades!" she replied, and tossed the slice into her mouth. I did the same, trying not to think too hard about how Pinkie Pie knew Spanish. Sweet, hot flavor flowed over my palate, just as Pinkie had described, but with a burst of nostalgia for my part of the tasting, and I let out a happy sigh as I chewed. Pinkie was obviously in some fit of ecstasy, her eyes rolling back in her head as she leaned against me for support. "Jake, it's sooooooo good."

"Tastes like home," I said wistfully, taking another slice.

"If this is what home tasted like, I don't think I'd ever leave my house," Pinkie said, giggling and grabbing another bit of mango and sprinkling extra chili powder on top before taking another bite. She let out a groan and fanned her face. "I'm gonna need a cold shower after this, I tell ya. This mare is gettin' hot!"

I glanced down at her, and she looked up at me, red in the face. "Are you...?"

Pinkie stuck out her tongue and winked at me. "Because it's spicy. Don't get any dirty ideas, mister. I'm on to you!" I laughed, shaking my head, and we sat and enjoyed the rest of the fruit together.

After we were finished, I washed my hands of the bits of mango pulp and chili still clinging to it, and pulled out a pen and paper. "So, now that you've got your Festival of Friendship exclusive fruit tart, is there anything extra you need Twilight to order for you?"

Pinkie nodded, "Yeah! I'm gonna need a lot more mangoes, plus a lot more sugar. About forty pounds of sugar should do it. I've got plenty of flour, though, and there's a local farmer that grows chili, and I've already ordered everything I'll need for the other deserts I've planned, so... that should do it!" She squinted and cocked her head to the side. "At least a full wagon-load of mangoes, please. I might eat a few while I'm working on the fruit tarts. Say... eighty pounds of mango?"

I chuckled, and wrote down the order. "Eighty pounds of mango, forty pounds of sugar. Got it. Anything else?"

"No, I think that'll cover pretty much everything," Pinkie said with a firm nod. "Thanks for your help, Jake! I've got a lot of work to do to perfect that tart recipe, so I'm going to get started right away!"

"Sure. I'm just glad I could help at all. I'm no chef," I said, gesturing to Pinkie Pie. "I'm not sure how you're gonna turn it into a tart, but I'm sure that you're the pony for the job."

Pinkie giggled, jumping up on her back hooves and planting a big, wet smooch on my cheek. "You're a real sweetheart!" She gave me a little shove with her head, sending me towards the door. "Now, shoo! I've got science to do!"

"Don't you mean baking?" I asked, nonplussed, as I reached one hand up and wiped some pony slobber off my cheek.

"Baking is science for hungry ponies!" Pinkie declared with an air of finality, and then she turned on the remains of the mango creation. "Now, as for you, my tasty friend..." She giggled, and her giggle grew into a laugh that slowly morphed into something sinister. Outside, where I was certain the skies were clear, there was a clap of thunder.

I decided I'd rather not see Pinkie go about her 'science', and I left, heading for Sweet Apple Acres.

---

I followed the main road out of Ponyville, heading in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres. I'd had to stop in at a shop to ask directions, which had been a rather awkward encounter that mostly involved the little red-maned salesmare attempting to sell me four or five different kinds of tea. Of course, I'd walk into a tea shop. Once I told her that I preferred coffee, she was much more willing to get me out of her shop as rapidly as possible, and gave me very precise directions.

Luckily, once I found my way out of Ponyville proper, I was easily able to find the orchards, and from there I followed along the path, passing Fluttershy's cottage on my way. I spotted Fluttershy outside, feeding her animals, and gave her a wave. She waved back and flew to fill some more bird feeders. I turned the corner into the orchards and glanced skyward. I didn't see any rainbow-colored contrails, and I let out a sigh of relief. I wasn't looking forward to seeing Rainbow Dash again, so soon after our confrontation. I carried on through the trees, following the road to the farmhouse and barns situated in the center of the farm. I could hear the tell-tale sound of applebucking, and I followed the sound around to the south side of the farmhouse and the orchards there. The sound quickly led me to Applejack, who was in the company of another pony; a huge, red stallion with an orange mane and a big green apple for a cutie mark. They were working in tandem, and seemed to be nearly done loading a large cart full of bushels of apples. "Hey, Applejack," I called as I approached, raising up one hand in greeting.

"Hey there, Jake. Fancy seein' you around. How's your gut?" Applejack asked, pausing in her work to give me a wave. I reached down and touched my ribs, noting their tenderness, and shrugged.

"I've had worse. Rainbow Dash doing okay?" I said, coming to a halt and watching as the red stallion hefted another bushel of apples onto the cart. He'd dropped a few, and I walked over and started picking them up and tossing them into the cart.

"Ah, she's fine. She was whinin' a bit, and you should'a seen Scootaloo when she heard what'd happened! You'd think she was the one that got in a fight with ya!" Applejack rolled her eyes and ambled up to one of the last trees in the row, aligning her hindquarters with the sturdy trunk.

"Scootaloo?" I repeated.

"Ah, she's one of Apple Bloom's friends. Apple Bloom is my little sister! And she and Rarity's sister, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo—who's sorta like Rainbow Dash's little sister, but not—are thick as thieves."

I vaguely recalled hearing stories from Rarity. "Ah. Are these the fabled Crusaders?"

"That's right. They're the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and they help ponies find their cutie mark, or learn better how their talent works with their life. It's sorta complicated... but, at any rate, when Scootaloo found out you and Rainbow had gotten in a tussle, she was right cross with ya."

"Yeah, I figured I didn't win any favors with that," I said, sighing. "Well, at least we understand one-another, now." I finished picking up the fallen apples and turned to the big stallion, who was eyeing me with interest. "I'm Jake, by the way," I said, offering up a fist.

The stallion gave me a nod and his massive hoof gave my knuckles a gentle tap. "Big Mac."

"Nice to meet you."

"Eeyup," he said, reaching down and hefting another bushel of apples up into the wagon. I glanced at Applejack, who chuckled brightly.

"Big Macintosh is my older brother. Don't mind him, he's not much of a talker. He don't mean nothin' by it, though, just likes to save his words for when it really matters," she explained, bucking one of the last trees in the row and sending a cascade of apples down into waiting baskets. I helped collect up the stray apples as she moved on, and Big Mac continued to haul the baskets. "So, I figure this ain't a social call, you bein' out here. What can I do for ya?"

"I'm actually checking in to see if you need any supplies for the Festival of Friendship. I just checked in with Pinkie Pie, and she had a few things she needed, and so I wanted to make sure you had enough to finish all the cooking you're planning on doing," I asked, as we fell into a rhythm of work.

Applejack hit another tree with a grunt. "Once we're finished clearin' this last row, we should have enough apples for all the vittles we're gonna make. Let's get that wagon loaded up, and then we can haul it to the barn and I can double check, but we should be just fine." I nodded, and we worked for several minutes finishing bucking the row of trees and loading the wagon, while I did the simple task of grabbing fallen apples and getting them put into the baskets. While relatively easy, I figured that it was probably more of a chore for Applejack or Big Mac to grab an apple with their hooves than it was for me and my useful hands.

Within a half-hour, we were at one of the large barns. Applejack slid open one of the huge doors, and Big Mac hauled the cart inside, and I followed. I let out a low whistle as I looked around the inside of the barn. There were dozens upon dozens of bushels of apples stored away, all protected in the cool, dry barn. Applejack grinned. "Lots of ponies to feed at the Festival. We're gonna use every one of these. The best part is, we've already been paid for our work, so we've just gotta deliver the pies and fritters, and everything else from here on out is pure profit."

Big Mac and I worked on unloading the cart, while Applejack trotted over to another section of the barn where big bags of flour and sugar had been neatly stacked. She started counting as we completed the job, setting down the last bushel of apples. Big Mac gave me a thankful nod, and I smiled at him before looking to Applejack. "So, what's the word?"

"Tarnation!" Applejack said, scuffing a hoof on the floor of the barn. "I'm missin' some supplies. I counted the other day, and I know we had forty bags of flour and twenty bags of brown sugar, but now, we've got thirty eight and nineteen! Plus, there's at least a tub or two of butter missing, and we've been saving those up real careful-like so we'd have enough to make the apple pies and apple brown betties!" Applejack sighed. "I'm gonna count 'em one more time. Big Mac, would you check the other storage, make sure ain't nothin' else run off?"

"Eeyup," Big Mac said, trotting towards another outbuilding. I waited patiently while Applejack did a re-count, and soon Big Mac was back again. "One of the big bags of bakin' soda is missin' from the other storage, Ay-Jay."

Applejack frowned. "Somethin's odd. Sounds like we got a case of bakin' bandits on our hooves..." Applejack began to look around the barn, watching the floor carefully.

"What are you looking for?" I asked.

"Hoofprints. I got a feelin' that I know who our culprits are." Applejack stalked along the floor, nose to the ground. I walked to the doors and checked there, first, and spotted a few sets of smaller hoofprints in the dirt, right outside the door.

"Here's some. Smaller hooves," I said, pointing them out. Applejack rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Yep. It's the Crusaders. I'll bet they've gotten up to some nonsense out at their clubhouse. Come on, then, let's go see what they're up to. Maybe they haven't used the bakin' supplies yet." Applejack said, heading off into the orchards. I followed behind her, with Big Mac taking up the rear. We walked through the trees, taking a meandering route that followed a well-worn, if indirect, path that took us onto the edge of the property. I spotted a large treehouse with a carefully built ramp that led to the entrance. I was boggled by the ramp until I realized how much sense it made. After all, horses and ladders did not mix.

The clubhouse was a well-constructed affair that was obviously maintained diligently, with a fresh coat of paint on the outside and obvious signs of loving repairs made to the building. As we arrived at the base of the ramp, I could hear chattering voices inside. Applejack set a hoof on the ramp and gave it a stomp that silenced the voices. "Apple Bloom!"

A yellow filly with a bright red mane done up with a pink bow peeked out of the nearest window. She gave a nervous smile. "Oh, hey, Applejack. What brings you out here?"

"I'm lookin' for some missin' baking supplies. You don't happen to have seen a few bags of flour, sugar, and baking soda run off this way, have ya?" Applejack said, giving her sister a deadpan look.

"Oh, uh, yeah. But I have a good explanation!" Apple Bloom said, trotting away from the window and re-appearing at the front door of the clubhouse. She was joined by a unicorn filly that I recognized immediately as Sweetie Belle, as well as a orange pegasus filly with a short-cropped violet mane. If I had any doubts, the instant she saw me, the little pegasus shot me a death glare, confirming her to be Scootaloo.

"We're making Rainbow Dash a get-well cake!" Scootaloo declared. "After some jerk tried to kill her, we figured she'd appreciate something to help her feel better!"

Sweetie Belle smiled awkwardly and gave me a shy wave. "Hi, Jake."

"Hi, Sweetie Belle," I said, waving back. Applejack looked like she was about to speak up, but I held up a hand. This was bound to be interesting.

"Are you... waving hello? At him?" Scootaloo gasped at her.

"Well, yeah. He's dating my sister," Sweetie Belle said, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.

"He punched Rainbow Dash!" Scootaloo protested, gesturing at me with an exasperated look.

"I know! But maybe... he had a good reason?" Sweetie Belle said, frowning uncertainly at me. "What if she had a huge bug on her face, and he was trying to help get it off?"

"Or... maybe it was a misunderstandin'?" Apple Bloom said, shrugging.

"Rainbow Dash definitely didn't mention a bug. She said she fought him! Because he was messing with Spike! Because he's a jerk!" Scootaloo said, her voice getting a little louder at the end as she turned and shot me another glare. "You shoulda seen her, Sweetie! She had a black eye! And look at him, he's totally fine! He obviously hit her with a cheap shot!"

"Hey, now," I said, deciding to speak up. "Rainbow Dash and I got into a fight, and it was for a good reason. And she gave as good as she got, for your information," I said, lifting up my shirt to reveal the ugly bruises on my chest.

"Whoa!" Apple Bloom said, her eyes going wide.

"Ow," Sweetie Belle said, wincing. Scootaloo frowned, staring at the bruises for a long moment, before letting out a huff and looking away.

"Just so you know, there's no bad blood between Rainbow Dash and I. I think we both understand each other. I don't think it'd work if I was anybody else, or she was anypony else, but we got into a bad fight and came out... friends. Sort of." I pursed my lips, considering my stance towards Rainbow Dash. "Well, at the very least, we aren't angry at each other anymore, and I think we might be friends, eventually."

Scootaloo looked a little less certain. Applejack spoke up. "I saw what happened, and as far as I understand, things between Jake and Rainbow Dash are settled. Now, would y'all mind apologizin' for takin' the baking supplies without askin' anypony?"

"Sorry, Applejack," the three fillies chorused.

"We just wanted to do something nice for Rainbow Dash," Scootaloo said. "And we had extra stuff, so we made two cakes, so there isn't any left."

"Yeah, I made a cake for Jake, too," Sweetie Belle declared.

"Wait, you made that second cake for him?" Scootaloo said, her eyes wide.

"Well, yeah. He helped my sister, so I thought it'd be nice," Sweetie Belle said. Scootaloo puffed out her cheeks, glaring at Sweetie Belle, and then let out an exasperated sigh.

"I've been undermined from the very start," Scootaloo said, hanging her head. "Well, I guess if you said he's okay with Rainbow Dash, Applejack, I'll believe you." Scootaloo frowned at me. "You still shouldn't have hit Rainbow Dash."

"Sure thing, kid," I said, shaking my head. I wasn't about to get into an argument with a filly. Scootaloo scowled at me.

"Don't call me kid. You're patronizing me," Scootaloo said.

I sighed. "Sorry. I'll stop."

Big Mac cleared his throat, suddenly. "Y'said you're bakin'?"

Apple Bloom smiled. "Yeah! Sweetie Belle borrowed a hot plate, and I borrowed two of our cast-iron oven pans. It's sorta like a... cake in a pan. But not a pancake!"

"And y' used a lot of bakin' soda?" Big Mac asked.

"Well, yeah," Apple Bloom said, frowning.

"Where are you going with this, Big Mac?" Scootaloo asked.

Big Mac just gestured to the window. There were bubbles boiling out of the open window. The fillies all turned, eyes wide, and rushed into the club house. Applejack shook her head and trotted up the ramp to the door. I followed her, watching with bemusement. "What did you fillies do?" Applejack asked.

"I don't understand! We followed the recipe!" Sweetie Belle cried from inside.

"This ain't right! There's bubbles everywhere!" I heard Apple Bloom shout.

"Vinegar," I called. "You used vinegar. How'd you manage to delay the reaction?"

"I thought it was too bubbly, so I used some magic to make it stop, but I didn't think it was a problem!" Sweetie Belle said, coughing and sputtering.

"How'd we get vinegar into the mix instead of water?" Scootaloo asked, desperately fanning her wings at the approaching mass of suds.

"I grabbed a jug from my sister's pantry! I thought it was water!" Sweetie Belle said, retreating from the bubbly mess as it surged to the front door of the club house.

"You fillies need to get out of there. Those bubbles are all carbon dioxide, you might get light headed if you stay in there, or even pass out," I called, watching with concern. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo rushed out at my warning, and they stood on the ramp, frowning. Sweetie Belle sat down and covered her face, blushing furiously.

"I'm sorry, girls. I feel so dumb."

"It's okay, Sweetie Belle," Apple Bloom said, patting her friend on the back.

"Yeah. I mean... the clubhouse floor really needed to get mopped, anyway, so this is a good excuse," Scootaloo said, sighing.

I shook my head, chuckling. "Yeah, well, wait and let it air out before you go in. All that carbon dioxide needs to air out."

Applejack shook her head. "Well, that's a fine mess you've made. I'll go find a mop."

"Ah'll go," Big Mac said, and ambled off towards the farmhouse, leaving Applejack and I to keep an eye on the Crusaders. The three fillies sat, dejected, watching as bubbles surged out of their clubhouse. I noticed that the three girls had extremely similar cutie marks, sporting a similar shield motif and colors, but with a unique central symbol for each of them. I'd seen a lot of cutie marks, but never ones so similar.

Apple Bloom noticed my interest, and glanced down at her flank, before smiling at me. "Pretty neat, huh?"

I chuckled. "Yeah. I've never seen cutie marks like those."

"We got 'em all at the same time. It means we're destined to be friends forever!" Sweetie Belle declared proudly.

"We always worked together to find our special talents, and now we help everyone figure out their place in the world," Scootaloo said.

"Everyone, huh?" I said. "What if I needed help?"

Scootaloo shot me a look. "Not you."

"Aw, why not?" Sweetie said, looking at Scootaloo pleadingly.

"Wait, do ya need help with somethin', Jake?" Apple Bloom asked.

I shrugged. "Maybe. But I guess if I don't have all three of the Cutie Mark Crusaders on board..."

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle both turned to look at Scootaloo. She frowned, glancing between the two of them. "Ugh. Fine. We'll pencil you in for a consultation sometime."

I chuckled as I said, "Great, sounds good. Maybe after the Festival of Friendship?"

"Sounds good to us!" replied Apple Bloom.

"Speakin' of the festival, I'm gonna need a few extra bags of flour and sugar, plus some more butter. Five bags of each should cover it, just to be on the safe side, and an extra three tubs of butter. I think we've still got plenty of everythin' else," Applejack said, reminding me of my entire reason for coming here.

"Ah, right," I said as I pulled out the pen and paper and jotted down a note for the order. "That's it?"

"Yeah, that'll do," Applejack said with a nod. "Y'know, you don't have t' hang around and supervise the clean-up of this here mess. If you've got other things t' do, now might be a good time to skedaddle."

"You're sure?" I asked.

"Yeah. You've done plenty, anyway, helpin' unload the cart and pickin' up apples and whatnot," Applejack said, tipping her hat to me. "Much obliged."

"Sure, of course," I said, standing up. "I guess I should check in at Rarity's boutique. Spike's over there helping her clean up."

Sweetie giggled and asked in a sing-song voice, "Ooh, you're gonna go hang out with my sister?"

"Yeah. Apparently somepony told her parents that she was having a rough time, and now she's scrambling to clean up before they come to visit," I said, smirking at Sweetie Belle, who blushed and looked away.

Applejack chuckled, "Well, sounds like a grand 'ol time. Good luck with that."

I shrugged as I stood up, replying, "I'm sure it'll be fine. Nice to meet you, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom. I'll see you later, Sweetie Belle."

"Don't forget, we've got to consult with you after the festival!" Apple Bloom said. Scootaloo just grumbled under her breath and stared at the bubbles.

"Sure thing."

---

The walk over to the boutique from Sweet Apple Acres was a quick one, and I enjoyed the nice day and fresh air. Not that Canterlot was like any city on Earth—with air so polluted that you could taste it—but it was certainly a step removed from Ponyville's small town scents of pasture and farmland. There was a charm to this place that was wholly its own, and I liked it. I preferred Canterlot, but I could understand why Rarity would choose to make this place her home. After all, if there was anywhere to truly get away from Canterlot or Manehattan where she had her two largest boutiques, it was probably here. This town was like some of the places I'd passed through, going to other jobs in big population centers. Little places where I could stop and sleep and feel, for a moment, like I didn't need a gun beneath my pillow. It was the feeling of a place whose problems came from outside, and the people that brought those problems were people like me.

Well, like I had been.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes, and returned my focus to my walk, watching as two ponies moved anxiously from one side of the road to the other, eyeing me warily. I cast them a wan smile and kept walking, and arrived in front of Rarity's boutique. I stopped outside and listened for a moment, and noted that there was no yelling, dramatic weeping, or panicked sounds of frantic cleaning. I shrugged and knocked. "Just a moment!" I heard Rarity from inside, and I tucked my hands in my pockets and impassively watched through the semi-translucent window in the front door as Rarity darted around for a moment before arriving at the entrance to the boutique. She opened the door with a nervous smile that melted into a much more genuine one as she saw me. "Jake!"

"Hey, Rarity," I said, smiling in return.

"Darling, what are you doing here? Spike told me that you were taking orders from Applejack and Pinkie Pie for the Festival!" Rarity asked, gesturing for me to come inside and shutting the door behind me as I did so.

"Spike told me to meet him here when I was done, and so here I am," I replied, looking around the boutique. It was a far cry from the disastrous state of the other evening, having been practically transformed. I whistled. "Wow, you and Spike have been busy. The place looks great."

"Yes, Spike is really quite the expert at cleaning up. He's been helping Twilight for years, not to mention me as well, so he's gotten very adept at helping us mares recover our living spaces from flights of fancy or, ah, mental breakdowns, as t'were," Rarity said, blushing slightly and tapping her front hooves together in a nervous gesture.

"Yeah, I got that impression today while we were working on cleaning up after Twilight. She really knows how to tear a library apart, let me tell you, but after Spike was done with the place, it was immaculate."

Rarity nodded, giggling. "Indeed. Speaking of Spike, he already left, I'm afraid, though I was hoping that you would stay for a bit, darling."

I glanced around, frowning slightly. "I'm not sure, I think I'm supposed to stay with Spike."

"Spike already gave me permission to borrow you for a bit, if you're willing," Rarity said, batting her eyelashes at me.

I chuckled. "You don't need to turn on the charm for me, Rarity. You've already got my attention," I said, smirking and reaching out to poke her on the nose, but she shied away from my reaching finger. "Sure, I'll stick around. What do you need?"

Rarity inhaled slowly, her ears falling back nervously. "Well... it's rather complicated. You see, my parents are coming to visit, because my traitorous younger sibling tattled on me, as though we were in grade school. They heard I was having relationship trouble, you see? But, seeing as that is behind us, I'd rather you and I meet them... together."

I stared at her for a moment, her intent slowly dawning on me. "Oh my god, you want me to meet your parents," I said, as a feeling like ice being poured down my back crept over me. "That's... that a big step."

"I promise you, it's not as big a step as you seem to be thinking," Rarity said quickly, reaching out to pat me on the knee. "We're just going to say hello, maybe have some tea, and tell them that we are doing fine, and that I've owned up to my failings and we've moved past it," Rarity said, obviously trying to sound confident despite the way her tail tightened up and her ears drooped with anxiety. "We... we are past that, aren't we? I don't wish to presume, Jake."

I paused, and exhaled slowly. "Yeah. We're past that and moving forward... I just didn't think that we were moving this far forward," I replied, kneeling down and putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. She took a step closer, taking the opportunity to rest a hoof against my chest and look into my eyes.

"Thank you, darling. I'm sorry to spring this on you, but I'm afraid that my parents may have been given the wrong impression about our situation, and so I want to reassure them that things are fine... or mostly fine, all things considered. I'm still dreadfully behind on preparations for the Festival of Friendship decorations, but it's not the first time I've sacrificed a few nights of sleep for the sake of a big event," Rarity said earnestly, smiling at me.

God, that smile. I couldn't help but reach up to one cheek, touching her gently, and Rarity blushed and her smile widened a bit. "Yeah... okay. I can do that for you. Meet the parents, help them understand that things are mostly fine, and...?"

"And then get them out of here as rapidly as possible," Rarity said firmly. "I don't wish to give you the wrong impression of my relationship with my parents, because they're lovely ponies, but at the moment they're inserting themselves into my life in ways I'd rather they didn't. I don't need relationship help from two ponies who met in school and never dated anypony else except each other. They don't really understand what it's like."

I smirked, patting her cheek. "You might be surprised. You know, I wish I could ask my parents for help, sometimes. Might have made my life a little easier, having some wisdom to help guide me along."

Rarity snorted. "Perhaps, but their wisdom is far less useful and more... colloquial. My parents are probably not the ponies you'd expect."

I laughed. "Really? I'd just assumed that they're like you." That earned me a glare and another snort. "That far off the mark, huh?"

There was a knock at the door behind me, and Rarity's eyes widened in panic. "I suppose you're about to find out, darling. That must be them." She took a step back from me and glanced down at herself, running one hoof towards her mane. "Do I look alright?"

"You look great," I said, standing up and turning towards the door.

"No, no, sit down on the couch over there. We don't need your first impression with my parents to be of you towering over them by a solid head and shoulders," Rarity said quickly, as she approached the door. I shrugged and walked over to one of the couches that had been set out for customers in the main floor of the boutique and sat down. I subtly checked my posture. This was less of a relaxed meeting, and more of a day at court. I needed to be at my best, and I'd learned how to play this game from a pony that had been doing it for a thousand years. Shoulders back, eyes ahead. Relaxed gaze, but attentive. Slight smile, but not so much as to appear cocky. Deep breath, and...

Rarity opened the front door, revealing two ponies. The stallion had a white coat and a chocolate-brown mane and an impressive mustache. The mare had a light pink coat and a familiar looking royal purple mane, done up in a beehive style. They both grinned and reached for Rarity simultaneously, pulling her into a close hug. "There's daddy's girl!" said the stallion, laughing amicably.

"My sweet little jewel!" said the mare, cooing happily as she nuzzled her daughter, and I mentally filed that one away for later use.

"Mother, father, hello!" Rarity said, laughing as her cheeks turned pink. "I'm sorry that you came all the way out here to visit! I hope it wasn't too much trouble!"

"Oh, no problem, Rarity. It's always nice to come and visit, and when Sweetie told us that you were having a rough time, we decided that it was high time we checked on you!" her father said, stepping around Rarity and stopping inside the door, glancing down at the clean carpet, and then quickly retreating to wipe his hooves on the mat. Rarity cast him an approving nod, and stepped inside, her mother right behind her.

"You just sit down on the couch, dearie, and I'll make us some tea, and you can tell us all about—" the mare suddenly stopped short, staring at me. "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't know you were seeing a... customer?" she said, glancing at Rarity.

I smiled at her as Rarity's dad walked up beside his wife and gave me a confused once-over. Rarity let out a little sigh and said, "No, mother. He's not a customer. This is Jake." Rarity stepped away from her parents and stood between us, casting me a quick, encouraging smile. "Jake, this is my father, Hondo Flanks, and my mother, Cookie Crumbles."

I smiled at them and stood up. "It's nice to meet you both," I said, keeping my voice even and trying not to betray any of the slight panic fluttering in my gut.

"Oh! Ah," Cookie said, taking a step closer to Hondo as she looked up at me, her smile becoming more uncertain, "I-it's nice to meet you."

Hondo took a brave step forward and extended a hoof, which I met with a bump of my knuckles. He gave a little extra 'oomph' behind the hoof-bump, obviously trying to convey his feelings on my presence in his daughter's house. My hand stung a bit with the contact, but I kept my gaze even and my expression normal. No need to get worked up over a bit of masculine aggression. I understood it, even if it was something that I'd worked hard on tamping down in myself. Machismo had its place, but this wasn't it. Hondo smirked at my lack of response. Was that approval? "Good to finally meet you, Jake. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but our little girl always had... different tastes and sensibilities than us," he said, somewhat diplomatically. I got his meaning, though.

"Yeah, Rarity's good taste extends beyond her fashion, I suppose," I said with a wink. Hondo chuckled, and Cookie blushed a bit and scooted past Rarity to extend a hoof to me as well. I took it with both hands and gave a far more gentle squeeze. "And it's nice to meet you both, too."

Rarity smiled happily at us. "Excellent. Now that you're all acquainted, perhaps some tea?"

"Tea sounds lovely," Cookie said, turning to her daughter. "Would you like some help in the kitchen?"

"Certainly," Rarity said, casting me a quick look of warning, though I couldn't fathom why. "Any preference?" she asked.

"Whatever is on hoof, honey. You don't have to go out of your way. After all, we're the ones imposing," Cookie replied, smiling and trotting towards the kitchen.

"You know my preference," I said to Rarity, which got a laugh out of her.

"Indeed! Coffee, black as a moonless night and strong as a hoof to the face," Rarity said, shaking her head. Hondo cast me a surprised look and laughed, and Cookie giggled. "I'm afraid that I don't have any on hoof at the moment. Will a stronger tea do?"

I nodded. "Sure, Rarity. I'll manage."

"Very good. You two colts play nice, we'll be right back," Rarity said, and she followed her mother out of the room. I suddenly realized that the tea was a trap, as I faced Hondo alone, no doubt for an awkward conversation.

God, I hate tea.

"So," Hondo said, stepping over to a nearby chair and plopping down onto it, before casting me an appraising look. "You're the infamous Jake. I've heard a lot about you."

"Only good things, I hope," I said with a wry grin.

"Mostly troubling, actually," Hondo said, returning my grin with one of his own. Oh, he didn't waste any time. "Something about a fight with Rarity. And a fight with one of her friends. And a fight with a hydra?"

I cleared my throat. "All true," I said, "though calling what happened with the hydra a fight is a gross over exaggeration. It was more of a retreat. Or a rout," I clarified, chuckling. "But, yeah. Rarity and I had a fight, but we've worked things out."

"Have you?" Hondo said, one eyebrow raising up.

"Yes. We spent a week sorting things out, and then I came down here to make amends for my part in things, and we made up." I was simplifying, of course, but I didn't want to go into the fine details with Hondo. He didn't need particulars.

"Interesting. So, what about that fight with Rainbow Dash?" he asked. I was surprised he even knew about it, and it must have shown on my face, because he spoke up immediately after seeing my reaction. "Yeah, I heard about it. Sweetie's little friend, Scootaloo, was pretty upset."

"Also true, but it's really a private matter. I think we came to a more clear understanding of one-another," I said evenly.

"I'll admit, I'm not a fan of a stallion that can hit a mare," Hondo said, a bit of ice creeping into his tone. I winced internally, knowing that there was no argument that I could make at the moment to dissuade him from his opinion.

"Rainbow Dash is a tough mare, and she came at me looking for a fight, and I obliged her. We shook hands and parted on even terms, if it matters at all. I'm not proud of it," I said, figuring that the best course of action was to keep things direct and to the point.

"Nothing to be proud of, son," Hondo replied. "And I figure you're a smart enough fella to know that it doesn't matter to me if you parted as best friends. Stallions that lay hooves on mares are not the type of stallion that I want dating my daughter." He cast me a long look, daring me to retort. I decided to save my breath. "So, anything to say for yourself?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I think you've already made up your mind about me. All I can do is work to prove you wrong."

Hondo gave a slow nod. "I'll hold you to that." I let out a slow breath, staring at Hondo, and he watched me impassively. I could hear the clink of tea cups being set out, and the rattle of one of Rarity's serving trays.

"So. What about you?" I asked, deciding that sitting in silence was far worse than trying to make awkward conversation. Hondo cocked his head, curious. "What do you do? I see your hoofball cutie mark. I'll be totally honest, you're pretty much the opposite of what I expected from Rarity's dad."

Hondo chuckled at that. "Yeah, well, they say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but I think Rarity found a far branch to drop from. I used to play hoofball professionally, and now I do statistical work for various teams."

I smiled. "That's pretty interesting. I'm good with math and stats, actually." We were quiet again, but I'd left the ball in Hondo's court.

"I don't know anything about what you do for a living," Hondo said, keeping the conversation going.

"It's complicated. I mostly work for the diarchy, as a court record keeper. Presently in the employ of Princess Luna," I said, leaving out the bit about my previous line of work. No need to make things harder on myself. I already had an uphill battle ahead to get this stallion to a neutral stance with me.

"You work with Princess Luna?" Hondo said, surprised.

"Yes, though I'm presently on loan to Princess Twilight. Sort of. I'm actually working for Spike, her majordomo, helping him get things ready for the Festival of Friendship."

Hondo let out a hum. "That's interesting. Princess Twilight is a pretty good judge of character. I'm surprised she's letting you work for her after everything that happened." And there we were, back to that, again.

"So... favorite hoofball team?" I asked lamely.

"Do you even know any teams?" Hondo countered, frowning slightly.

"Not in the slightest," I replied without hesitation. Hondo laughed at that response.

"Well, boy, at least you're honest," He said, shaking his head.

"Not particularly, but I'm feeling rather candid at the moment," I said, letting out a sigh. That got another laugh out of Hondo, just as Rarity and Cookie returned bearing a tea tray with four steaming cups of tea and a bowl of sugar and a small carafe of creamer. Rarity looked fine, but I could sense an undercurrent of tension. I cast her a quick, questioning look, and she returned it with a subtle eye roll towards her mother. I nodded in understanding.

"Well, look at you two!" Rarity said airily, setting down the tea tray and levitating everyone's beverages into close proximity. I carefully took my cup and saucer, while Hondo and Cookie grabbed both of theirs in their own magic fields. "I hope we weren't too long."

"Not a problem," I said, blowing on my tea.

Cookie sat down next to me on the sofa, which surprised me, while Rarity pulled an oversize cushion over and lay down on it, setting her saucer down on the carpet. Rarity's mother gave me an appraising look, eyes sharp. "So, you and my husband had a good chat?"

"Yes, ma'am," I replied, taking a sip of my tea. It had a little milk in it, but was otherwise a strong brew. Almost passable, for tea.

"I hope you don't mind, but it's my turn now," Cookie said quickly. I had a feeling that her tea was going to remain untouched.

"I don't think my minding would stop you, ma'am."

"You're right, it wouldn't," Cookie said, nodding with a firm air. "I just wanted to say that you've got a lot of ponies watching you, and we've got a lot of expectations of you."

"That's been true since the day I arrived here," I said, leaning back in my seat.

"That may be the case, but you've also got us, now, and you've got a lot of work to do if you're hoping for our approval."

"Fair enough." There wasn't anything to say, and no rebuttal was necessary. They didn't like me, and they probably had legitimate reasons not to—at least in their opinion. Arguing wasn't going to get anywhere... and besides, I sort of found their distrust of me and concern for Rarity refreshing, in an odd way. They obviously cared, at least. Cookie gave another nod, and took a sip of her tea. Rarity was watching her with a frown.

"Are you quite through?" Rarity asked slowly.

"I've said my piece. I think he understands," Cookie said.

"Jake, darling, you don't have anything to say?" Rarity asked, her hackles obviously up.

"No," I said, which got a surprised look from Rarity. I continued on, addressing her parents. "I think you both made yourselves clear on your position. I don't like it, but I respect that you're worried about Rarity and want the best for her." I smiled ruefully into my cup of tea. "I'm actually sort of relieved. I know I have a skewed view of how parents are supposed to act, but you two seem like good people who have concerns about me, and aren't afraid to tell me." I looked up at them both. "I appreciate that. I like that you're both direct and honest. It makes things easier when everyone speaks plainly, so I'll do my best to reciprocate." I cleared my throat and sat up a bit, rolling my shoulders. "I really like Rarity, very much. She was the first friend that I made outside of the Princesses that oversee me and the guards that watch over me, and she's very important to me. I trust her, and that's not something that's easy for me." I cast my gaze between Cookie and Hondo, taking note of their careful attention. "I'd like your approval, and I wish that you had a better impression of me, but I'm used to working for the things I have. So, I'll simply have to work to prove to you that I'm a man worthy of your daughter." I reclined back, taking a slow sip of my tea, and inviting any rebuttal they might have. Hondo and Cookie shared an inscrutable look.

"All right, then," Hondo said, giving me a nod. "Thanks for telling us that."

Cookie cast me a careful smile, one that wasn't warm, but did show some appreciation. "We're happy that you're willing to hear us out. Honestly, just speaking with you is helping me feel a little better about things. We still have concerns, you understand, but... well," she looked to her husband.

Hondo shrugged. "If you're willing to be honest like you have been, and you're willing to take our feelings into consideration, we're willing to give you a chance." Rarity looked surprised, and I gave her a small smile, before standing up and walking over to Hondo.

"I'll do my best. It's all I can promise," I said, offering my fist again.

Hondo nodded gravely. "I'd expect nothing less, for my daughter." This time, the contact between my fist and his hoof was more in line with two people coming to an understanding, with no macho undertones.

"Well, that's all very fine, then," Rarity said, standing up and shooting her parents a glare. "But I have something to say, too." I stayed standing, but turned to face her. Rarity cleared her throat, and spoke carefully. "I would hope that you both trust me enough to know that I have sound judgement... and good taste in partners. Jake might not be what you'd expect, but I hope that you'll both allow me to conduct my personal life without undue interference."

"Hon, we just had concerns that we needed to voice. I hope you aren't upset!" Cookie said, frowning.

"If we're all being honest, here, then yes. I am," Rarity said, letting out a huff. "Honestly. Do you think I would give my time to a gentlecolt that was actually dangerous, or abusive, or anything so untoward?" She laughed, "I may dramatize the suffering I endure for my art, but I assure you, I wouldn't suffer abuse in my romantic life... and if I was, I have a close group of friends that wouldn't hesitate to help me exit such circumstances." Rarity took a firm stance. "So, I'll thank you both for your concern, but I wish that you would trust my judgement more readily."

Hondo winced. "Ah, it's not that we don't trust you, honey. Just that... well, we had concerns, like your mom said."

"And your concerns are noted," Rarity said, casting them a wan smile. "Now, if there's nothing else, I'm afraid that I've got about two hundred pieces of decoration to create for the Festival of Friendship, and I'm terribly behind schedule. I've a few sleepless nights ahead of me in order to catch up, and no more time to dawdle."

"Ah, well, all right, hon," Hondo said, standing up, and Cookie joined him. "We wouldn't want to put you further behind. You're a busy mare."

"Do you mind, though, if Sweetie Belle comes over while you're working tomorrow? I know she'd love to help," Cookie said, her ears going flat as a sheepish expression passed over her face.

Rarity opened her mouth, closed it in consideration for a moment, and then smiled. "She's been very helpful the last few days. I don't see why not."

"Great. We'll let her know," Cookie said. Hondo and Cookie both paused, looking up at me.

"It was nice to meet you both," I said diplomatically.

"Likewise," Hondo said, and Cookie nodded. They both saw themselves out, and left me to slowly collapse on the couch. Rarity joined me, letting out a long groan.

"That... could have gone better," I said.

"Could have gone better?" Rarity turned to face me, beaming. "Jake, you were fantastically reserved. I'm not sure how you kept your composure. My mother and I nearly got into a fight about how we wouldn't be able to give them foals!" She rolled her eyes.

I froze. "Foals?"

Rarity waved her hoof in the air dismissively. "My mother wants grandfoals. I told her that there were many ways to achieve that goal, and none of them were her concern, but rather were my prerogative!"

I let out a slow sigh. "Yeah..." I shivered. "God, I'm glad they didn't bring that up. I think I would have panicked."

Rarity giggled, giving me a light pat on one shoulder. "Your luck held out, today. I'm starting to think I should keep you around, just in the hopes that some of that luck will rub off on me."

"Maybe it will," I said, reaching out with one finger and poking her on the nose. Rarity's eyes crossed, and she let out a snort. "Did Spike mention when I needed to get back to the castle?"

"I'm afraid that he did say he needed you to bring the list of items that Applejack and Pinkie Pie needed before evening, so Twilight could get the orders going."

"Before evening. So... we have a few hours?" I asked, glancing out one of the windows towards the bright blue sky.

"Indeed, it seems we do. I would rather like to get going on the decor for the festival... but I believe I can spare an hour for a nice lunch with a handsome gentlecolt. After all, you did handle my parents with aplomb, and that deserves a reward," Rarity said, leaning forward. I felt a little shiver go up my spine as her eyes locked with mine.

"A reward, huh?" I said, smiling at her with a calm that I didn't feel. My heart was going crazy in my chest.

"Mmhm," she said, her breath tickling my face.

"W-what kind of reward?" I asked, feeling some heat rise in my cheeks. Rarity's eyes had a predatory glint. Had I just stammered?

"I believe," Rarity breathed, leaning past my cheek to whisper in my ear, "A sandwich shall do."

"You tease," I laughed and gave her a playful shove.

Rarity giggled, leaning away from me, but wasn't able to hide a light blush. "You love it."

"I do," I said, chuckling as I stood up from the couch. "Your treat, though?"

"Of course, darling. I subjected you to that uncomfortable situation, and I'll make it worth your while," Rarity said happily, standing and trotting towards the stairs. "I'll just check my makeup, and then we'll go get a bite of something nice."

"I'd like to take a bite of something nice right now," I said with a mock growl.

Rarity's face flushed red, and she cast me a look from the base of the stairs up to her room. "Who's the tease now, darling?"

I laughed softly, gesturing for her to go on, and she smiled, shaking her head as she trotted up the stairs. I watched her leave, and let out a slow sigh. Today was shaping up to be better than expected, in many ways. Maybe Spike and I could help Rarity catch up on her decorating job for the festival? And tomorrow, an opportunity to meet Sweetie Belle properly. Even though Rarity's parents seemed to have a low opinion of me, Sweetie Belle had been nothing but kind and earnestly interested in me, the few brief times we'd met.

There was a lot to consider, but for the first time in several days, things felt... better.

Comments

[CheshireTwilight]

I didn't know who Scootaloo was, but I assumed that she must have been close with Rainbow Dash.

I think you might have mixed up the order at some point, because Jake already met Scootaloo at the farm by this point and was made well aware of Scootaloo's relationship with Dash by the filly herself (and Applejack).

On another note, the sweetness of this fic is the perfect end to an otherwise bland day!

[Texus]

"Princess Celestia has been trying to convince Princess Twilight to get a few guards of her own.

that annoyed me in the beginning, because back then it looked like Celestia just wanted her to fit into the image she sees in her.

"You know the Princesses. They are very good at taking advantage of fortuitous situations," Dusky said, nodding vigorously.

Not a fan of them doing that "behind others backs" stuff.

Did Starlight existed in this story before?, I don't mind it this time I think, but I often think if the story started without certain stuff, it should just jump to a point where it can include the new stuff.

Starlight giggled at the two of us. "Don't worry. I actually think it'd be a good idea, but Twilight is really adamant that the Castle of Friendship is as approachable and friendly as possible, and she worries that a few armored guards might give ponies the wrong impression."

I know she could be attacked but I don't see a reason why she couldn't try it without guards or just put something similar to a police in ponyville.

"No joke. What is this?"

the map of DOOM.

"Yeah. She really burns the midnight oil, and then crashes and sleeps until a bit before noon. She'd usually wake up earlier, but she's been up late the last few nights trying to finalize the plans and organization for the Festival of Friendship," Spike said.

I'm also a fan of Tempest and Queen Novo, but I would have prefered if the story just followed the original plan and maybe took this to write a sequel later.
However I'm not sure if the story exactly followed the show.

I just hope this time he get's the chance to do something, Tempest not being a earth pony but still a strong fighter could be an argument as to why Jake was it?, could also learn or already do some awesome stuff. This is why I hope he doesn't just get captured by tempest to ansure that he isn't taking part in the adventure and to have a sudden solution, or that he is just following them and letting them handle all the impressive stuff while he is like Spike in the show.
However I could totally or I want him to get along with Queen novo.

I continue later or tomorrow, this is to big right now but I wanted to start with it already.

edit:

Twilight had watched this exchange quietly, but she chimed in now. "You know, I think Jake is right. You should go and speak to Rarity first. I know you'll feel much better with that situation resolved and all those feelings off your chest."

after I saw this I remembered a problem of the story, that Twilight thought she was right and forced an apology out if him right?, but I think you staretd to make it look as if he would do thinks his own way thankfully.

[JediAlexColbent]

"I'm not going anywhere," I called back, turning and facing Dusky. "Well, Dusky. Looks like it's just us guys."

"Just us stallions and a unicorn mare," Dusky observed, looking around my side to the front door, which was now slightly open. A light pink unicorn mare with a curled purple mane with streaks of cyan stood in the doorway, giving us a confused look.

Oh, goody. The communist marechild is in this fic.

[MagicLover2128]

I liked this chapter very much, it’s great to see this story being worked on again.

[Vaalintine]

Still doesn't feel resolved at all with Jake and the Mane 6. Its like he just acquiesed to it all being his fault, and he should be sorry for everything because he needs to simply do whatever he is told. To be honest it kinda undermines their interactions, I think.

[PropMaster]

8948586
Starlight plays a very minor role.

[JediAlexColbent]

8948644
Praise Celestia for that. Hate her character SO much after the S5 finale.

[Lightbuster30]

8948586
Oh look a dead meme is back.

[JediAlexColbent]

8948691
I’m sorry, who are you?

[Lightbuster30]

8948706
A nobody with an internet opinion tbh.

[Grevere]

"Interesting. So, what about that fight with Rainbow Dash?" he asked. I was surprised he even knew about it, and it must have shown on my face, because he spoke up immediately after seeing my reaction. "Yeah, I heard about it. Sweetie's little friend, Scootaloo, was pretty upset about it." I didn't know who Scootaloo was, but I assumed that she must have been close with Rainbow Dash.

Uh... what? This happens after he meets the crusaders.

[A.P.O.N.I.]

"Baking is science for hungry ponies!"

MAD Science!

[lazyreader19]

"Hey, now," I said, deciding to speak up. "Rainbow Dash and I got into a fight, and it was for a good reason. And she gave as good as she got, for your information," I said, lifting up my shirt to reveal the ugly bruises on my chest.

On snap! Busting out the bruised guns

I'm so happy to see a new chapter, a chill Spike and Jake, as well as Hondo and Cookie.

Just loved the chapter in general

"I'd like to take a bite of something nice right now," I said with a mock growl.

Ooooh my

There was a lot to consider, but for the first time in several days, things felt... better.

Whelp! Time for the cosmic balance that be to frick this up! (kidding, I wish nothing but the best for Jake. I just get paranoid when someone acknowledges anything nice)

[Yggra21]

Excellent chapter! Gonna admit that I forgot about this story until I saw the update. Glad to see it being continued.

[eL VeeJay]

I love this story. And Pinkie's references to two other stories (which are also good) was just the perfect Pinkie being her usual weird Pinkie self.

[Texus]

8948631
Yes I think I also would like a stronger reaction that proves the opposite.

I gave myself a mental high-five, having both ditched my guard detail and moved Twilight Sparkle one step closer to seeing how nice it was to have guards around—something that I'd absolutely take credit for the next time I spoke with Princess Celestia.

I'm not sure if he does it for the right reasons, I could bet he thought it was "fair enough" if Twilight didn't wanted them. However I would like Saphire to be one of them.

I glanced down at her, and she looked up at me, red in the face. "Are you...?"

hhhmmmm normally I would get the feeling the main chars thoughts are fixed on dirty things so that he always think that would be the chase first, but he already kind of proved himself as a good main char "mostly" in my book.
That means even if that should be the chase I don't care.

When they mentioned Rarity and him dating again, I remembered that I belive we still need to see a situation in which he is proving that he can be a huge help. I know that this story showed the main six as experienced fighters/adventurers, but honestly some other stories seems to manage easily enough to pass it of as either a lot of luck or well them just learning how to fight like Jake.
What I mean with that is I think in the story I'm thinking of, someone told Celestia that it was just because she always decited to send some civilians of instead of any sort of trained fighter or go herself when she could easily handle a situation.

I have a bad feeling how this meeting with their parents is going to turn out. I always assume some of the same bad stuff happens that always happens, or it is only an akward situation for the main char.

"Yeah, Rarity's good taste extends beyond her fashion, I suppose," I said with a wink. Hondo chuckled, and Cookie blushed a bit and scooted past Rarity to extend a hoof to me as well.

hhhmmm it looks like they have different personalities and aren't exactly going to act like I thought they would so thats a plus.

"Mostly troubling, actually," Hondo said, returning my grin with one of his own. Oh, he didn't waste any time. "Something about a fight with Rarity. And a fight with one of her friends. And a fight with a hydra?"

okay it starts with him being seen in a bad light again, but I guess it is more or less fair since it is stuff he only heard so far.

"Nothing to be proud of, son," Hondo replied. "And I figure you're a smart enough fella to know that it doesn't matter to me if you parted as best friends. Stallions that lay hooves on mares are not the type of stallion that I want dating my daughter." He cast me a long look, daring me to retort. I decided to save my breath. "So, anything to say for yourself?" He asked.

I'm not sure how to react to that.
1. I'm more a don't hit anyone if you don't have to instead of "don't hit woman/mares" only.
Since they always fight over what womans and what guys are supposed to do, I just use a equal point of view mostly I guess.
That and half of my aunts aren't exactly girly themself.
2. I don't think rainbow would exactly like it that he talks about her like that, as if she couldn't take care for herself.

Maybe they acted like the typical parents or not, I liked at least how you showed the situation mostly. Not sure which it was that annoyed me more, but I only remember the dad that wants to kill the guy or the parents who want to know everything about the sexlife of their daugther. (from other stories I mean).

"You're right, it wouldn't," Cookie said, nodding with a firm air. "I just wanted to say that you've got a lot of ponies watching you, and we've got a lot of expectations of you."

I wait for the moment they basically call him the criminal here again.

Rarity waved her hoof in the air dismissively. "My mother wants grandfoals. I told her that there were many ways to achieve that goal, and none of them were her concern, but rather were my prerogative!"

okay this is nothing bad, but I don't really understand why the parents in those stories always want their childrend to move foward fast enough so they could have their fun.

Then again I could image her mother just talking about the fact since she got pretty much shocked when they entered her home and then of course her fears got the better of her if you know what I mean.

I think I can at least say that it still felt like they are equal till now, since they made up at least thinks between them appear fine so far.

[Texus]

894865
Not sure if you mean that, but yes I think I would like it if they keep a bit more of their former personality and don't have to turn themself competely around. (do you say it like this in english?
8948655

[JohnstoneT]

So one thing I want to say is an event I've thought of possibly happening.

So the idea is that it turns out Jake wrote the entire list of things needed not in equastrian(somehow). Then when he gives the list to Twilight she has no clue what is writen down.

[KnightOfZaku]

I don't think Cookie has to worry about grandfoals. Fantasy and sci-fi has proven many times over that humans are pretty much compatible with nearly all alien and magical species. The big question she should be asking is. Will Jake and Rarity's foals be anthros or satyrs?

[Lightbuster30]

8948997

What's up with your second quote? You didn't really make a responce.

[Lightbuster30]

8949032
I'd prefer anthros. It feels like a better mix of the races. Placing a human body on pony hind legs just feels lazy.

[KnightOfZaku]

8949051
I personally prefer satyrs. Probably because some of my all-time favorite stories feature them. And since centaurs are human/horse hybrids. A human/pony hybrid being a satyr somehow just makes sense to me. I don't know how to explain it.

[JediAlexColbent]

8948713
Someone who apparently has way too much time on their hands, apparently.

[JediAlexColbent]

8948997
Eh, more or less.

[Xanatos Speed Chess]

I watched her leave,

Jake (thinking):
i.imgur.com/aqmZf.jpg

[PropMaster]

8949121
I had to refrain from making that reference.

[Lightbuster30]

8949117
Pretty much. At least until fall anyway.

[PropMaster]

8948557
8948720

Thanks for catching that Scootaloo bit. I actually did change the order of the chapter, because I wanted the meet-the-parents bit to be last.

[Lightbuster30]

8949115
The horse human hybrid thing is yet another reason for my anthro preference. If I can be clear: It feels like the Centaurs already do the "half humanoid, half pony deal. But I'm cool in either direction.

[JediAlexColbent]

8949133
Ah, high schooler. It all makes sense now.

[Lightbuster30]

8949184
College actually. Just finished first semester. But since I'm needed to keep an eye on my younger brother over Summer, I have to wait till Fall, where we both get home at the same time.

[JediAlexColbent]

8949211
Ah, my bad then.

I just think Starlight had great potential of being the most sympathetic or at least realistic villain in the series to date. If only her backstory wasn’t something so dumb and nonsensical.

[Amethyst_Dawn]

"We were just talking about her, and then you walked in and said that. I know how the universe works, it couldn't be coincidence," Spike said sagely.

Spike, you genre-savvy son of a gun.

As always, a fantastic read.

[HB_DS2013]

While Jake did have a fight with RD, she was the one who asked for it. I don’t believe in the whole, “men should not hit women” because that chivalry is dead and I’ve heard of women who can hit harder than men. Also, I want to be intimidating enough that grown men three times my size will soak their pants and leave me alone.

[PropMaster]

8949461
Equrstria is not Earth, and Rarity's dad has old fashioned values.

And, yeah, having RD be mad at you would make anyone nervous.

[Sunny O]

"I'll admit, I'm not a fan of a stallion that can hit a mare,"

I almost facepalmed at that moment. I was sure that Rainbow was a guy almost till the end of the first season! And I'm pretty sure she would have taken the above quote as an insult.

[PropMaster]

8949542
I agree, lol.

[Cotton Sweet]

"Baking is science for hungry ponies!"

A fellow reader of Questionable Content, by chance?

[Lightbuster30]

8949271
Well if I'm being frank, it isn't so much the hate I don't like, so much as the sheer repetitiveness of it. At least in my experience, at least a few people have to blow a gasket everytime she gets mentioned. Got old for me.

Well The Parent Map expanded on her backstory. Poor parenting and bad advice can go a long way in shaping a young person.

Plus, most fan favorites did even worse than her as villains, and for pettier. Sure she nearly doomed everyone, but she pretty clearly didn't think that would happen, and I'm fairly certain she wouldn't have if she knew what her time travel would do. So I'm willing to let that slide.

I have many reasons for forgiving and forgetting.
Reasons I probably wouldn't be able to convey the way I want due to a lack of social skills. And you have yours. Best to agree to disagree. Don't have an interest in a debate, just felt like voicing myself.

[strangephantasm]

Woah woah woah, before we go putting human seed and pony egg through the ol' magical Blend-Tech, how about we consider a more... sane alternative. It's called adoption. Orphans need love too.

Then again, we're already putting the cart before the pony here. I believe we've skipped a few steps, like the one that leads to foals in the first place...

[PropMaster]

8949798
QC is an old favorite, but it's actually a reference to an even older comic that JJ has referenced in Questionable Content before: Dresden Codak! Great comic.

[JediAlexColbent]

8950052
To be fair to your point, I always speculated it was something during childhood that set poor GlimGlam down that road; you see it in comic book stuff all the time. Of course, my head cnon at the time was something very much akin to a comic book villian’s origin. Killmonger’s father was killed leaving him to grow up in a prejudiced and bigoted community, Kingpin was abused by his father and had to kill him to stop his mother from being beaten. And with my interpretation of Starlight, she gets off SLIGHTLY easier, but is still dropped off at an orphanage for not getting her cutie mark at the same age as generations of family members.

I haven’t watched the canon version of her backstory as I gave up on the show a little while ago, but I hope it does something for her character.

[Viper Pit]

as n'zoth once said so sweet

[Zyrian]

One would think that Hondo wouldn't be the whole "You don't hit a mare" type since mares are the hegemonic power in Equestria anyway.

[Eroraf86]

"I was thinking something exciting and exotic, so I made a star apple and coconut cake, but Rainbow Dash and Rarity said they'd had enough coconut and star apple to last them a lifetime after their last vacation, so I think I need to come up with something different."

I blinked, doing my best to follow what Pinkie wanted, but my brain got stuck. "Vacation? Rarity never mentioned a vacation."

Pinkie frowned, tapping a hoof to her chin, and then grinned. "Oh, never mind that. It's easy to get confused sometimes. I think I read too many stories! I was reading one about ponies and changelings in space the other day. Crazy! But that's neither here, nor there, or even Mars!

You cheeky bastard. How did you know I love both those stories?

Loved the original, loving this sequel. Can't wait to see how the Friendship Festival plays out!

[Bahamuttone]

over my palette, just

palate

[Noctis Prism]

Totally loved this!

[Airy Words]

My muse had a thought about an addition to the conversation with "Dad."

---

I looked over at Hondo sideways with a bit of a smile. "So in the course of playing hoofball with your teammates and opponents, have you ever run into someponies who simply won't respect you until you've proven to them you can take their best punches and give them out, too?"

He snorted and started nodding his head before coming up short with a pointed stare. "Are you saying Rainbow Dash is that kind of pony?"

"No, I'm saying that those fools and pretenders WISH they were like Rainbow Dash."

He laughed loudly, perhaps despite himself. He followed this with a more appraising look, perhaps with a bit less venom then previously.

[Cotton Sweet]

8950386
Ohhh, that's right! I'd forgotten about Dresden Codak, wow.

Still, it's rare that I find a fellow QC fan out in the wild. Do you still read it?

[Agneyastra]

God, I love your writing. Please keep up the great work. Really enjoying how this story is coming along.