3 Months After Return
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza was having the oddest day. She had been summoned by her auntie to a private tea room for a 'long overdue meeting', but then when she got there all she found was a stupid floating orb. She took a deep breath to try and calm her annoyance. She knew she shouldn't be that annoyed, but this was on Shiney's day off. She could be having a relaxing evening on his couch or catching a new play with him. Instead, she was staring at an orb in an empty tea room while her guards waited outside under orders to ignore everything they heard. She sighed and moved to a chair, glancing over the few changes that had been hastily done a few months ago at Luna's return. Some moon tapestries sat in contrast with the hanging suns scattered across the room, and blues had been added to the official color list that used to purely consist of gold and white. Cadence smiled at that; Luna deserved some recognition after all she had been through.
Cadence's thoughts were broken by a song she’d never heard before. She listened for a moment as it sang of a bar and loneliness before she noticed that the orb was glowing brighter and displaying a prompt that asked if she wanted to accept a call. She quirked an eyebrow at the orb, then sent a telekinetic jab at the projected Y. A moment later the orb expanded, showing her a large bipedal skeleton. She stared at it in utter shock; her voice couldn't find purchase in her throat as it slowly looked her over, from her hooves to her face. Then it spoke. "I AM RAGAR THE UNKILLABLE! You must be dear little Tia's niece." He performed a jaunty bow as the clacks of his knees echoed across the room. "It's a wonderful pleasure to finally meet you."
Cadence stared at him for a moment before taking a few deep breaths and running through the breathing exercises she had taught young Twilight. Once she was calm, she tried to flash a winning smile. "Hello, sir. You are correct; I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, niece of the risen sun, Princess Celestia."
Ragar waved his hand dismissively. "Yes, Princess Celestia has many titles, but she is not the center of the conversation right now. No, Ragar had heard nothing of you until Celestia mentioned her niece while we were enjoying the clips from the latest necromancer hunt. Ragar was deeply offended that the youngest of the alicorns had never met him." At this, he chattered his teeth. "After all, how can royalty properly fear the GREATEST EVIL ON ALL OF EQUUS if they have never met him?"
Cadence paused for a moment before mentally shrugging it off. She had seen Shiney try to act like a villain in his weekly games, and this wasn't much different. If auntie liked this necromancer, then he obviously wasn't evil. She smiled at the game the necromancer seemed to be playing as she gave her own little jaunty curtsey. "Well then, Lord Ragar, I shall endeavor to keep a proper mindset during this conversation. If I might be so bold, what evil feats have you accomplished?"
Ragar seemed to brighten up. "Of course! Ragar doubts Princess Celestia would leave records of the many accomplishments of Ragar lying around the castle, if only for the fear they would bring! Ragar has done many evil deeds, such as the plunder of the lost city of Marelantis and the theft of the entire forbidden section of the Royal Archives."
Cadence had to giggle at that. Marelantis was an amusement park on the Trottingham coast, and she had been to the forbidden section of the archives herself. "Of course; it must have taken auntie years to reacquire all of those books."
Ragar seemed confused by Cadence's simple statement. "Reacquire? Why would she do that? Ragar returned them all. How could the evils of knowledge be properly shared without a library? No, Ragar returned the books and copied one that he may have accidentally doodled in. However, in Ragar's defense, Starswirl was a bit of a jerk."
Cadence paused at this before deciding to put this conversation under the same mental umbrella as a conversation with Celestia. After a moment of consideration, she decided a rug was a better analogy than an umbrella. When you got confused, you just swept whatever they said under it and kept going. "Of course, though it is not mentioned in history books." She had broken the ice now. With that done she needed all the details of Ragar and Celestia. Rare was it Celestia could talk about anypony with a smile throughout the whole conversation, but with Ragar she did. Cadence took a step towards the lich. "So Ragar, care to share your thoughts on Princess Celestia? I'm sure another immortal would give me such valuable insight."
Ragar began pacing while staring at Cadence. His image actually moved, but the way it kept phasing through the furniture was more than a little distracting. He moved back and forth through the couch, seemingly debating the question with himself, before nodding. "Very well! Ragar will share what he knows with you. Celestia is a wonderful princess. She has managed to run Equestria excellently while Luna was gone. She has even managed to defeat me several times." He seemed to preen as he began speaking of her champions. "She always picks guards that truly have a spirit of adventure. Recently there was one who seemed to live off of old ruins and Daring Do." He deflated at this, scratching the back of his head embarrassed. "Ragar may have hired her for exploration and retrieval of various ruins and objects."
Cadence nodded. "But what does Ragar, the master of dark arts, think of her?"
Ragar paused. "Simple; she is a wonderful friend. Until Ragar has finished his great work, that is the most he can have."
Cadence nearly cursed. She knew he was sweet on her aunt, but he was so focused on work he couldn't act on it. She steeled herself. She had dealt with this before, she just had to make him think it was his idea. "So what about after? Surely you'd like to spend some time with her, correct?"
Ragar paused, seeming to be unsure of his answer. "Maybe Ragar would enjoy that. Though after his greatest accomplishment he will need time. A year, maybe two until Ragar will be able to speak again." He then clapped his bony hands together. "However, this has gotten far from Ragar's original topic. Ragar has a gift for you."
Cadence realized the ball had shifted to her side of the court, and she had no idea how to answer. "Oh... ok. What'd you get me?"
Ragar chattered his teeth. "Ragar has found a spell that allows anypony to see the strings of love. Be it romantic, friendly, or family. Ragar has decided the sole user of this spell should be the Princess of Love."
Cadence was star-struck. A spell that allowed her to see her domain as clearly as Celestia saw Equestria. This was the greatest gift she had ever heard of! She began hopping in place. "Oh yes yes yes yes yes!! That's the greatest thing ever. Where can I get it?"
Ragar let out a massive laugh as he disappeared. "NYEHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Cadence stared at the orb for a moment, heartbroken. She was trying to figure out why he would toy with her like that when she heard a tapping at the window, followed by an extremely loud caw. Curious, she opened the window with her magic and slowly peeked outside…
The guard outside the tea room were bored. They had been warned that this assignment would be weird, but they could hear Cadence speaking in her matchmaker's voice after a few minutes of talking. Granted, it had gone quiet a while ago. Then they heard a loud thump from inside the room. The guards looked at each other, both unsure of what to do. Slowly, the braver of the two started opening the door - only to get smacked in the face when a skeletal bird ran out as soon as the door was cracked. They stared until Cadence ran out after it screaming. "SOMEPONY STOP THAT BIRD!! IT HAS MY BOOK!!!"
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9050234
If you want, I'll read it when I wake up and try to help. If not I'll still read it, but shut my stupid face. : )
Wut?
9051256
To what specifically?
Oh noez, heartbutt's shipping senses are tingling.
But...is this a gift...or a CURSE? *dramatic sting*
9051262
Well, the ending seemed a bit, off? A good chapter, but I don't understand how we got to the point of cadence chasing a bird skeleton through the halls of canterlot palace.
Ragar is indeed the greatest evil ponykind has ever faced. Who else would play keep away with the Royal Alicorns?
9051286
It has the book with the spell on it. And cassowaries are giant bird jerks, by their powers combined there's a massive game of keep away going on.
9051286
Since the bird showed up after Ragar started laughing at Cadance’s wanting the spell it is left to the reader to infer that the book has the spell and the bird is playing keep‐away.
edit: Ninja’d.
9051286
We got to that point simply because Ragar is Ragar. What did you expect?
No wonder where Twilight has her temperament from.
Still... has Celestia introduced her fellow princesses to the only male alicorn in Equestria yet?
The made fandom projected Celestia as a troll... BUT THE TRUEST TROLL OF ALL IS OUR OVERLORD RAGAR THE GREATEST EVIL ON ALL OF EQUUS.
All hail RAGAR!!!
Amatures, you were supposed to ignore what happens in that room, no matter what you hear
First off: HA
Second: Let this epic game of Keep Away BEGIN
9051308
9051313
9051316
Ah, I'd missed the part about it being a cassowary, explains where it got the ever so helpful attitude from. Of course this then leads to the question of how the thing got in the window... eh, bird secrets. I suppose Ragar cannot make things too easy for the princesses, he is, after all, Evil. Will we get to see the chase? I have the perfect song!
I can't wait for our great and evil overlord to start trolling Twilight. She's probably really fun to annoy.
8990780
Hah! I'll take that as validation of my claim.
Yesssssss. Lovebutt on the case! And on the chase! HA!
9051372
Yes, yes it is.
I want to see someone argue with this logic
So is Ragar about to semi-permakill himself doing some experiment of sorts and revive himself in two years?
9051432
Maybe he will be revived into a more Wholesome form?
9051450
A thought strikes.
It takes a baby about a year to be able to speak. And Ragar might not be familiar with the exact time frame after centuries as a necromancer.
a necromancer whos constantly trying to be evil, and failing badly at it to comic effect.....
its been done before, see the game 'adventure quest' and the necromancer lord 'zorbak' and his constant quest to be 'ebil'
may read this one as a giggle giver after i read another necromancer related tale thats decidedly less...fun.
9051394
I can't tell if your icon is a rathalos or not
Just read through all these and... Is it just me or do I keep hearing Ragar speaking with Papyrus's voice?
9049773
I hope the skeleton with some of the same quirky behaviour as the undertale skeletons, won't turn into an actually evil dude. That would be a huge buzzkill.
9051497
But the stories that both contain necromancers AND good grammar are exceedingly rare!
9051450
...I know that's supposed to be a pun but for the life of me I can't figure it out! ...Unless your implying he's becoming a changeling?!
9051497
Yes but Zorbak wants to be Ebil which he see's as the more refined form of evil and actually commits evil/Ebil acts! Whereas Ragar is either being "Evil" for the fun of it and making it obvious, or he's doing so in ways others would see as either good or mildly annoying, and is unaware of how bad at evil he is!
9051692
😖* Are we reading the same story?
*Looks at you!* *Re-reads story.* *Looks back at you confused!
9051699
You have a GREAT point.
9051576
Rathalos? Who's that?
9051905
The the mascot to monster hunter
I've played enough Far Cry 3 to know how much of a pain cassowaries are.... regardless if they are skeletal or not lol!
Oh my freaking word XD
I need more of this delightful tail!
9051292
:shrug: Bit of stolen magic? Some unicorn horn pieces?
9051576
Nah, It's not. Rathalos is Red, if it IS a Rathian/Rathalos, it's an Azure Subspecies.
9052325
or the silver rathalos
He sent the troublesome bird on purpose, didn't he?
9052360
Well... what else would an EVIL necromancer do?
9052411
Bake an evil cake with the spell written in evil frosting? Write it in ectoplasm in front of her? Get a zombie to be a busboy with the book?
9051497
Except those decidedly "less fun", necromancer tales are a penny a dozen and none of them even break the mould and do something new or different any more. By contrast, I much rather prefer this one. It is far superior.
This story makes me hmmmmmm and question do I want to be a one of the skeleton birds that delivers the letters just to see the reactions of the princesses. Yes, Yes I Do.
9053813
I’m kinda curious what his great project is...
9051321
Oh, no. That would be hilarious!
Who would win in a fight?
Ragar vs Bone Marrow vs Xante vs Forgath vs Mortimer vs Damon Lipton vs Prince Thanatos (either version) vs Mortem
Vote now!
ITS TIME FOR A DEATH-
I MEAN, NECROMANCER BATTLE!!!
9057114
Stories:
2- https://www.fimfiction.net/story/378154/necromancy-for-foals
3- https://www.fimfiction.net/story/179553/the-life-and-times-of-xante-baron-of-the-frozen-wastelands-first-among-liches-lord-of-the-dead-and-fabulous-rainbow-magic-user
4- https://www.fimfiction.net/story/392560/in-an-effort-to-stay-evil
5- https://www.fimfiction.net/story/30613/mort-takes-a-holiday
6- https://www.fimfiction.net/story/124993/the-adventures-of-damon-lipton
7- https://www.fimfiction.net/story/61802/foal-necromancer
8- https://www.fimfiction.net/story/337694/mortem-the-last-necromancer
My god. This is one of the best things I have ever read.
9052360
Why wouldn't he?
I love this. I’m hooked. Please for the love of god and all the unholy demons Ragar meets with on Taco Tuesday, give me more.