1: But He Certainly Can Try

Rain poured down on me.

I wiped the droplets from the back of my head with an absent-minded swipe, gritting my teeth, and pulled my ball cap down a bit lower over my eyes. I settled myself back against the wall of the compound, eyeing both ends of the street that stretched out before me. Ruined buildings loomed overhead, with broken windows and missing doors gaping like hungry maws. Thunder crackled overhead, making my shoulders tense out of some deep-seated primal reflex.

This wasn’t exactly how I wanted to spend Wednesday afternoon, but orders were orders.

The chill bit into me, even through my layered jacket and bullet-proof vest. I idly tapped the toes of my combat boots against the asphalt. It was still and quiet all around me, and I somehow knew that this wasn’t going to be a good day. It was something deep in my gut that made me shift my stance slightly, bringing a hand to my pistol and unsnapping the holster for faster access.

Headlights approached from down a cross street, and I tensed up, watching carefully as a vehicle turned a corner and approached the compound. I relaxed almost immediately, recognizing it as one of ours, and shifted my position so I could open up the gate. I tapped in the code on the keypad, and old motors roared to life, slowly lifting the mechanized gate. The driver stopped next to me and rolled down the window, releasing a wash of cigarette smoke from his chapped lips as he smirked at me. “Jake.”

“Ryan. Everything go okay? No incidents?” I said, leaning close.

“Five-by-five, man. We got what we needed.”

“Great. They’ll be happy to hear that.”

Thunder rolled overhead, drowning out whatever Ryan was going to say, and he chuckled at me. “You poor bastard. Standing out in the rain like this?”

“Yeah, well, sometimes you get crap duty, but I’m just trying to make an honest buck, right?” I said, rolling my eyes.

“No kidding. Aren’t we all? Oldest profession in the world, right?” Ryan said, taking a long drag on his cigarette.

“Second oldest. Whores were first,” I snarked back.

“Yeah? You’d know, right?” Ryan tossed back, winking at me.

I could feel the hairs on my arms stand up, suddenly, and I turned in place, looking down the road. There wasn’t anything around, though, just Ryan and I. The feeling of unease grew, and even Ryan picked up on it. “What’s up?”

“I dunno. Get inside the compound. I’ll close the gate.”

Ryan frowned, but rolled back up the window and pulled forward, moving his vehicle inside. I tapped a button on the keypad, bringing the gate rumbling back down again. There was a static feeling in the air, and I could see lights, suddenly. Strange, dancing lights.

“Oh, crap,” I muttered, and crouched down, touching my heels together and hoping to god that the lightning would pick any number of other things to hit near me.

The lightning didn’t come, but a bass, rumbling sound roared in my ears. The lights around me intensified, and below me, impossibly, a circle formed on the ground, about six feet in diameter and glowing with amber energy that sparkled like a firework. Lines suddenly traced themselves around the interior of the circle, forming patterns, stars within stars and other geometric shapes, like fractals, dividing internally. The bottom dropped out of my stomach, and I felt a pulling deep inside my body.

The light flashed, blinding, dazzling me and leaving me blind. I cursed, covering my eyes. It smelled like ozone, and I could feel the liquid on my hat and jacket flash-evaporate in an instant. I gasped, falling onto my knees with a grunt. The air felt like it had been sucked from my lungs, and I breathed in, nearly on the verge of hyperventilating. There was a squeal of excitement, high-pitched and girlish. I opened my eyes, only to see stars and the barest outlines of a room. Somebody was jumping up and down in front of me, laughing gleefully… and maybe a bit maniacally?

“I did it! I actually did it! Oh, Princess Celestia is going to be so proud! A ten point summoning spell using Starswirl's Conjunction and Clover’s Mirror Reach!” shouted a happy little voice, giggling. A child?

I wiped at my eyes again, trying desperately to clear my vision with some success. My lungs still didn’t feel right, as though somebody had punched me in the gut and knocked the wind out of me, and I continued to pant and gasp. My vision started to come into focus, and I stared at a… big cat? I blinked again. No. Not a big cat. Quadruped, four legs, big colorful eyes, lemon-yellow skin, and light green hair. My brain tried to make sense of what I was looking at, but my mouth moved on it’s own. “Are… are you a goddamn unicorn?”

The unicorn leapt back, yelping. “It talks!”

I blinked, and felt something inside my head break a little bit. I sat back on my ass, staring at the thing in front of me, feeling my heart rate double, and then triple. “Well. That’s new,” I managed to gasp between breaths as my vision turned blurry, and then white.

I realized, somewhat blearily, that I’d been hyperventilating the whole time, and I was about to pass out. Too little, too late.

Least dignified entry to a new world, ever.

I slipped out of my room in the castle, glancing down the halls as I checked that my timing was right. I spotted Corporal Sapphire Spirit, her armor gleaming as usual, reporting in to the Captain of the Royal Guard as he made his rounds. They were at the far end of the hallway, about twenty feet away. I’d left my shoes off, and my socks muffled my footsteps as I darted away from my room, closing the door and rushing to the corner of the hall. I peeked a quick glance as I rounded the corner, just in time to see Corporal Sapphire salute the Captain, her back completely to me. I snickered to myself as I pulled on my shoes and took off at a quick jog. I was home free!

I whistled a tune to myself as I strolled down the streets of Canterlot, taking in the sights. It was a good day, because today, I was going to meet Rarity for coffee. We’d bonded over some interesting times. A few days ago, I’d met her at a fancy-schmancy tea party. As adorable as you’d think that would be, having a tea party with a bunch of dressed-up little ponies, it was a less-than-stellar experience. Two out of five stars. The only saving grace of the whole ordeal had been Rarity.

She and I had been thrust together by the meddling of Princess Celestia. I’d had assumed she was just another noblemare, looking to rub shoulders with some movers and shakers at the party, but she ended up being full of surprises. She had wit and charm in spades, and she and I had left early, arm-in-hoof. We’d shocked the hell out of a few ponies, which was a bonus for me, and had escaped my guard, Sapphire Spirit, to get some coffee.

Unfortunately, Joe’s had been closed. Some kind of inspection hadn’t quite been passed, no doubt the result of a trumped-up Canterlot noble appointed to a high position trying to throw his weight around. But Joe’s was an institution, and they’d reopened within days after some letters had been exchanged with Princess Celestia herself.

Whomever the inspector was, they’d forgotten how much Celestia loved sweets, and Joe’s doughnuts were a bit of a favourite.

So, Rarity and I had had to call a rain check on the whole thing, and agreed to meet up as soon as we’d heard that Joe’s was open for business. Rarity had been extremely disappointed that she wouldn’t get a chance to mend my suit, and had insisted that I wear it again. I’d agreed. I still didn’t really see what was wrong with my suit, but… mares. Who knew with them? They were smarter than all of us gentlemen by a mile, and they knew it.

It was time to meet Rarity.

Rarity beamed at me as I approached, meeting her a few blocks away from Joe’s. She looked stunning, wearing a white sun dress and yet another floppy hat, a light tan color that matched nicely with what she was wearing without clashing with her coat. She looked me up and down, her pleased expression souring a bit. I frowned, looking down at my suit. “What?”

“I’m sorry, darling. I’d forgotten that I told you to wear that,” she said, reaching out with one manicured hoof to touch the hem of my jacket.

“Well, hello to you too, Miss Rarity,” I grumbled, smirking at her.

Rarity looked up into my eyes and giggled. “Where are my manners? Hello, Jake. It’s good to see you again!”

I smiled and offered her my arm, in an imitation of our previous encounter’s beginning. “Shall we?”

“Such a gentlestallion,” Rarity cooed, smiling as she took my arm.

We walked slowly, Rarity taking in the sights of the city. It was rare for me to get out, and I enjoyed the leisurely stroll as Rarity pointed out interesting stores and fawned over window displays. I smiled and commented to her, “You know, I was really impressed with you the other day.”

“Oh?” Rarity asked, looking up at me with curiosity.

“Yeah. You walked out of that ballroom like you had no qualms leaving with a weird creature like me. Didn’t even look back. I’d expected you to… I don’t know, drink it in a bit more?”

"The only thing I felt like drinking comes in a mug, with sugar and cream," Rarity said, smiling at me and squeezing my arm a bit for emphasis.

I laughed. “Nice. Still, though… what with you being there, and all the high-profile nobles, I’d expected more... uncertainty. You’re a businessmare, right? A lot of opportunity to promote yourself was sitting in that room, being a bunch of snooty jerks.”

“Well,” she said, giggling nervously, “I certainly had high hopes… but, like I told you, I was… bored.” She sighed as she said it, and I caught a bit of a sag to her shoulders.

I raised an eyebrow at her. "You know, for somebody—ah, sorry—somepony who was bored by the pretense of that tea party, you certainly were interested in what those ponies thought of you."

Rarity's ears tilted flat. I suddenly realized that she was uncertain about her choice to leave with me. She bit her lip, but then her gaze traveled up to meet mine, and she smiled. "Well, you're... not wrong on that count, I'm afraid."

I frowned, "I hope that I didn't ruin your big chance to get in with the nobility."

"Oh, no, Jake. You did me a favor." She must have caught my uncertain frown, because she placed a hoof on the breast pocket of my ill-tailored jacket in a placating gesture. "Really, darling. I would have absolutely preferred to go with you for a cup of strong coffee, instead of spending any more time being ignored by those ponies."

I looked into her eyes, trying to gauge her sincerity. She seemed to be earnest about her desire to get out, at any rate, though I knew there was more to the story than she was letting on. I shrugged. "All right, then. Coffee and some conversation. I want to know how a fine mare like yourself ends up being ignored by a bunch of pretentious asses like them."

Rarity smiled in response and picked up her pace, pulling me along past the shops and ponies of Canterlot. We received a few uncertain looks, and more than a few scandalized gasps as we walked together, but I ignored them. This was par for the course. Rarity clung a little tighter to my arm.

We turned a street corner, and there was Doughnut Joe’s. A gleaming bastion of civilization, in the middle of the gaudy architecture and flamboyant excess of Canterlot’s streets. I grinned, and was about to press forward when a flapping of wings overhead startled me. I halted in place as a pegasus guard flew overhead, did a tight wing-over, and landed before us. Our way was now blocked by a familiar pegasus guardsmare in gleaming golden armor. Corporal Sapphire Spirit cast me a stern look. "Jake! There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you! You know you're not supposed to go anywhere without an escort! Namely: me."

I scowled, gesturing to Rarity. "Oh, come on, Sapphire. I'm not going out alone, here. I've got a classy mare that wants me to treat her to some coffee at Joe's."

Corporal Sapphire seemed to finally take note of Rarity, as Rarity swept the floppy hat from her head, holding it to her breast and allowing her curled, violet tresses to fall free. It was a stunning effect, as her mane caught the light and shimmered. Rarity smiled sweetly at Sapphire. "I'm terribly sorry to be a bother, miss. Jake and I were just heading out for a tête-à-tête over coffee, which I was going to treat him to."

For the first time ever, I saw Corporal Sapphire Spirit lose her composure. Her eyes widened, her mouth fell open, and she leaned back a bit as the tips of her ears trembled. I glanced down at Rarity, taking in her pose, and then eyed Corporal Sapphire as she tried to recover. I couldn't read pony body language very well, but she was definitely star-struck. Corporal Sapphire's voice cracked a bit as she rasped, "Miss Rarity! I'm sorry, I had no idea!"

"Oh, no, darling, think nothing of it!" Rarity said, smiling benevolently. "You seem like a very reliable mare. Jake is lucky to have you... assigned to him?" she ventured, looking up to me for conformation.

I smiled, and even though I had no earthly idea why Corporal Sapphire would react to Rarity like this, I knew I would milk it for everything it was worth. "Rarity, this is Corporal Sapphire Spirit, my daytime guard. Corporal Sapphire Spirit, this is Rarity."

Rarity let out a happy little gasp, her eyes widening as she looked at Corporal Sapphire. "Sapphire Spirit? What a lovely name! Why, my favourite gemstone is—"

"Sapphire! You said so in issue 148 of Mane And Tail Magazine!" Corporal Sapphire blurted, and then slapped both of her front hooves over her muzzle as she sat back on her haunches, looking mortified. I bit my tongue very, very hard to keep from laughing. Oh, this little interaction was going to pay dividends.

Rarity looked surprised, but recovered, blushing slightly. "Oh, I see you know who I am. I'm curious, are you interested in my couture, or...?"

Sapphire swallowed hard, fighting through her embarrassment as her eyes darted between my amused expression and Rarity's curious one. "I... love your dresses," she managed to squeak out, her white muzzle turning beet red.

Rarity's smile deepened, becoming a truly genuine thing, and she laughed, waving a hoof. "Oh, you are an absolute delight," she said, and her eyes narrowed, roving over Sapphire with an appraising look, before her expression brightened again, "And such a beautiful figure, too! Why, darling, you are simply inspiring me where you stand."

Corporal Sapphire froze up. I was briefly concerned that her heart had simply given out, and I reached out and gave her breastplate a nudge. She gasped, sucking in air as her wings fluttered at her sides, and her face reddened even further. "Really?" she said, her voice reaching a pitch meant for whistling to dogs.

"How could I not? You are the very model of the modern pegasus guardsmare! Sleek, graceful. Steel hiding silk!" Rarity said, dramatically gesturing to Corporal Sapphire. She approached, placing a hoof on Corporal Sapphire's shoulder. "You must come and visit me at my Canterlot Boutique."

Corporal Sapphire looked like she could have died in that moment, and moved on to the pony afterlife a happy mare. "Really?"

"Really. Please, when you find yourself with a day off, pay me a visit. I would love to get your measurements and, if you are willing, use you as a model. It is not exciting work, honestly. I'm certain, being a guard, you'd find it rather b—"

"I'll do it!" Corporal Sapphire interjected, leaping up and standing tall on all four legs, almost at attention.

Rarity beamed at Corporal Sapphire. "Wonderful! I will certainly look forward to it. But, alas, we must be going, now. Come along, Jake."

Rarity trotted ahead of me, smiling happily, and I followed. Corporal Sapphire waved enthusiastically at us, before turning and trotting away, a prance in her step as she went the opposite direction, disappearing around the corner of a building. I sped up a bit until I was walking beside Rarity, and I grinned. "Holy crap. You just made Corporal Sapphire's day, and you got her off our case. I don't think she'll even remember she was supposed to be following me for a few hours."

Rarity cast me a sly grin. "Tell me you're not impressed."

"I wouldn't lie to you, Miss Rarity," I said, glancing over my shoulder. "I just hope Corporal Sapphire isn't too crushed when you don't actually want to use her as a model."

Rarity halted in her tracks, and turned to me slowly, one manicured eyebrow arching. "Did that seem disingenuous to you, Jake?"

"Well," I started, but Rarity held up a hoof, stopping me before I could start.

"I was being honest. Corporal Sapphire is a lovely mare. Athletic and sleek, the very picture of pegasus pony beauty. She would make an incredible model, and I intend to produce at least two pieces inspired by her. Something dressy, but practical, like she is," Rarity said.

I nodded, properly chastised. "Oh. I, uh... I just assumed you were trying to get her off our backs. I'm sorry."

Rarity smiled at me. "Already forgiven, darling. Now, hopefully without further interruptions... shall we go and get some coffee?"

I returned her smile. "Yes, ma'am."

A thought struck my mind, and before my brain could catch up, my mouth started moving on its own. "So, wait, Corporal Sapphire is hot?"

Rarity snorted and giggled, shaking her head. "You have much to learn about ponies, my dear."

I scowled. "Yeah, yeah. Give the new species a hard time, why don't you?"

"I think I will," Rarity said, a wicked little smile crossing her muzzle.

This mare. I shook my head, smiling despite myself, and followed Rarity down the road towards Doughnut Joe’s.

Doughnut Joe's was my kind of place. It was the closest I had come to finding a slice of home in Equestria. It was a diner's diner, with clear glass display cases showing off baked goods and sandwiches, a jukebox playing upbeat tunes, and the unmistakable scent of coffee filling the place. I held the front door open for Rarity, and as she stepped inside, she tilted her head back and inhaled slowly, taking in the heady aroma of freshly brewed coffee. She smiled, more to herself than for my sake, and murmured, "Marvelous."

I agreed. Joe's was an upscale diner on the outside, true to Canterlot's architectural standards, but inside I could have been anywhere. The white linoleum floors, the booths and glossy tables, and the knick-knacks and sports memorabilia hanging on the walls contributed to the homey feeling. We'd arrived right at the peak of a lunch rush, and a few employees darted about, smiling happily as they delivered food and beverages to waiting ponies. I lead Rarity to a booth in the corner, looking out onto the streets of Canterlot, and took off my coat before sitting down. It was a bit of a squeeze to get into the booth, but I managed. Pony architecture sometimes didn't agree with me, but the plush padding of the seat made up for it. Rarity sat across from me and eyed my undershirt and revealed vest with a critical eye. I grinned at her. "Should I start flexing? Put on a show?"

Rarity's eyes widened, and she burst out laughing, shaking her head. "Honestly, Jake!"

I snickered, "Sorry, I'm just not used to mares who aren't Princess Celestia or Raven giving me the side-eye like that."

Rarity recovered her composure and smiled. "I can't help myself, I'm afraid. Your white undershirt is at least mostly acceptable. That vest, though... it looks like they stole a pattern made for a minotaur and sized it down to fit."

I looked down at the vest. "Honestly? I don't see what you're seeing."

Rarity giggled. "That's perfectly all right. Not everypony has an eye for clothing like I do... but for those ponies that do, you stick out like a sore thumb. You said that some tailors at the castle made the vest and jacket for you?"

I nodded, half paying attention to Rarity as I searched for a waiter or waitress, spotted one, and waved them over. Rarity continued on talking. "Honestly, that's simply depressing. Those ponies are probably in dire need of some remedial sewing lessons."

A mare waitress trotted over to us. She was a blond maned, blue earth pony with her mane pulled back into a loose bun and a easygoing smile. She dropped two menus and two sets of silverware in front of us "Heya, Jake. Welcome back. Who's the lucky mare?" She said with a wink. She had a bit of a nasal voice, something that vaguely made me think of New Jersey.

I grinned back at her. "Margarine, this is Miss Rarity. Rarity, Margarine. She's my second-favourite pony at this place."

Rarity smiled and offered Margarine a polite nod. "Charmed!"

"Likewise. Any friend of Jake's is a friend of mine. Where's Sapphire off to?" Margarine asked, looking around for my absent guard.

"Indisposed, I'm afraid. The nobles are revolting," I said, smirking.

Margarine rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah? What's got their tails in a knot this time?"

"Nothing. They're just revolting," I said, hazarding the bad joke.

Margarine stared at me, deadpan, and then stuck her tongue out impishly. "Lame. Zero points. You owe me an extra bit for puttin' up with you without Sapphire to keep you in line!"

I laughed, slapping my palm on the table and making Rarity jump a bit. "Marge, that's why I love you. Can we get two cups of whatever's strongest? We can decide on the rest while you handle that."

Margarine grinned and cast Rarity look. "You must be a nice mare, dealin' with a colt like him."

"You must be nicer, letting him tell bad jokes like that!" Rarity said with a laugh.

Margarine trotted away to get our coffee, and Rarity smiled at me. "When you told me the other day that this was your place, you weren't joking! First name basis with the wait staff? I'm not in nearly enough to be considered a regular."

I smiled, leaning back into the cushy booth and getting comfortable as I pulled a menu closer to myself. "What can I say? Joe's feels like home."

Rarity looked surprised when I said this, and cast a glance around the place. "Really? That's fascinating, darling. They have diners like this where you're from?"

I nodded, my smile turning a bit wistful. "Yeah. If I close my eyes, I can almost pretend that I'm at the diner back home." Rarity went quiet, looking at me, and I met her gaze for a moment before realizing that I was bringing the mood down. I coughed, straightening up a bit. "So, how about you? Where's home for a classy mare such as yourself?"

Rarity frowned, and I could tell she was about to object, when Margarine returned with two steaming mugs of coffee and a small pot of cream, all balanced on a tray on her back. She maneuvered it off her back with her mouth—a move that still impressed me, despite the number of times I'd seen her do it—and set the tray down in front of us. "All right, two cups of the good stuff and some cream. Do either of you need sugar?"

I smiled, vowing to tip Margarine extra for her impeccable timing. "Please?"

Margarine retrieved a shaker full of sugar from an apron pocket and deposited it on the table. "All right, I'll give you both a few minutes. You just wave and let me know when you're ready."

"Thank you, Marge."

Margarine trotted away to help other customers, leaving Rarity and I alone again. Rarity picked up the mug of coffee with a blue glow of her magic and added some cream and sugar to it, before blowing on the surface daintily and then taking a careful sip. Her eyes closed briefly as she swallowed, and she smiled a small smile of satisfaction. I smirked, adding a bit of cream to my own cup, and took a swallow. The strong, dark roast had a nutty, perfectly acidic flavor tempered by the cream.

Perfection existed, and it could be sold for a bit at a diner.

I sighed happily, setting my mug down on a napkin. When I looked up from my coffee, Rarity was eyeing me, a small frown on her face. I glanced down at my shirt. "What? Did I spill something?"

She shook her head, snorting. "Very well. You may escape this time, Mister Jake, but we will be learning things about you at some point."

I plastered the most innocent look I could manage onto my face, blinking exaggeratedly at Rarity. "Why, Miss Rarity, whatever could you mean?"

Rarity smirked and rolled her eyes, but thankfully changed the topic. "As to your earlier question, I grew up in Ponyville. It's just below Canterlot, across the valley. It is a very small town, very quaint and mostly quiet."

I smiled. "Sounds nice. How's it mostly quiet, though?"

Rarity grinned. "I promise, you wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"I'm a guy that got pulled through a magic spell into tiny talking pony land," I said, deadpan. "Try me."

She laughed, shaking her head at me. "Very well. Princess Twilight Sparkle moved there a few years ago, and it has been non-stop adventure ever since. This was before she was a princess, mind you, but if you think becoming royalty slowed that mare down, you would be very wrong!"

I smiled, noting how much she relaxed when discussing her friend. "I don't doubt it. So, what, you and Princess Twilight... have adventures? What are we talking about, here? Sewing exciting dresses? Doing your manes? Pillow fights and sleepovers?"

Rarity's smile became unreadable, and she took a dainty sip of her coffee. "Something like that."

I chuckled. "That sounds pretty good."

Rarity raised an eyebrow. "Really? I'd think you'd find that boring."

"Nah. I can appreciate the quiet life. I mean, before coming here, I was..." I trailed off, frowning.

Rarity leaned forward, shaking a hoof in my face. "Ah ah! No! You do not get to deflect this time. I gave you details, and now it is your turn."

I shrugged. "It's not exactly something I wanted to talk with you about. You ponies are all very... peaceful."

Rarity sat back in her seat, frowning. "Come now, Jake. Do you think I will judge you based on your past?"

"You might. Can I talk about something else, instead?" I said, my eyes pleading.

Rarity considered this for a moment, before she nodded. "Of course. If it would make you uncomfortable."

I reached across the table, catching her hoof in my hand briefly, and gave it a grateful squeeze. "Thank you. Really."

Rarity's eyes glanced down at my hand on her hoof, and relaxed a bit. "Think nothing of it."

"New topic. You pick," I offered, a consolation prize.

"Diners back home," Rarity said, without hesitation.

I smiled, "Now, how'd I know you'd pick that?" Rarity didn't reply, simply taking another sip of her coffee and staring at me with an eager expression. I was struck, once more, by her blue eyes. Rarity had an intensity to her that I didn't expect, and it was starting to fascinate me. I cleared my throat, realizing I was staring, and continued on with my story. "You might not believe it, but we have places just like this where I come from. Little diners, coffee, the kitschy decorations and comfortable atmosphere. Hell, even the booths and jukebox. Our music is very different, but similar, too, if that makes sense?" Rarity nodded eagerly, and I allowed my eyes to roam around Joe's, taking in the place. "It's strange that I'm on another world, about as far from the people I know and the places I visit as I can be, but this... this is the same. The coffee tastes the same. The people—ponies are the same, in a lot of ways. I've been exploring this city in small doses, you know? Trying to take it, in, because everything is the same, but new. I don't feel like I'm far away, I feel like I'm... close. So close to home. So close that it hurts sometimes, you know?"

Rarity reached across the table with both hooves and clasped my hand between them. I startled a bit, glancing up to meet her gaze. Her eyes were filled with tears, but she was smiling. When she spoke, her voice was soft, velvet. "I don't know. Not exactly, but... maybe I do, too."

I let her hold my hand. Maybe I needed it, right then. I cleared my throat and wiped at my eyes, and smiled at her. "How's a lady like you understand something like that? Something to do with the nobles and the tea? I’d love to know why you were there that day, being ignored."

Rarity nodded, taking a slow breath in. "I've been working very hard to be noticed by those ponies. For a long, long time, all I wanted was to be accepted by them. I still do want it, if I'm being honest, but that isn't how this city works. Here, you are born a noble, or you are not," she said ruefully. I leaned into her a little bit, curious, as she continued. "I was not, and so they put their backs to me. Oh, certainly, they will come to me for dresses, and they will talk of my sense of taste and capabilities... but they do not respect me as a pony. I am not unlike a piece of jewelry that a noblemare keeps in her jewelry box at home. I am good for special occasions or as a topic of conversation, but when the day is done I am returned to the box. Disposable," she said, her voice dropping to a whisper.

"Fuck 'em," I said.

Rarity blinked, startled by my outburst, and looked up into my eyes, an uncertain smile crossing her face. "P-pardon me?"

"Forget those jerks. They don't deserve to be around a mare like you, Rarity," I said earnestly.

Rarity laughed, shaking her head and reaching up with one dainty hoof to wipe carefully at her eyes. "How terribly crass, but... kind, too. Oh, if only it were that easy. But, alas, in my line of work, you must deal with such ponies, and so I play my part, and in doing so I am always generous with them. I go the extra mile, you see, not because I hope that it will ingratiate me to them, but because I know that I am a better pony for it. I strive for self-improvement in all things. Fashion, business, beauty, relationships. Moving upward, always. I envy them and their connections, but in some ways I can appreciate that I am far more free, and far less constrained than they are. That being said, I still wish—deep down—to be accepted by them," Rarity said, staring into my eyes.

It occurred to me, then, that Rarity was beautiful. I held her hoof with my hand, listening to her, as she finished.

"So, like you... I feel that I am always so close to my goal... but so far away, too," she said softly.

"So, when can I expect invitations to the engagement party?" quipped Margarine, startling both of us.

We both looked towards the grinning waitress who'd snuck up on us, and then back down at the table where we were holding hands... hooves... whatever. With a nervous laugh, I let go of Rarity's hooves, and Rarity blushed, giggling and picking up her napkin to dab at her mascara. Margarine snickered. "I came over here to see what you two wanted to order, and I find my boy Jake puttin' the moves on," she said, before giving Rarity a friendly nudge on the side. "C'mon, miss, you can do better than this yeti."

I snorted, "Don't be jealous, Marge. You only wish I'd held your hoof like that first."

"In your dreams," Margarine shot right back, beaming at me. "So, what can I get'cha?"

Rarity glanced at me, but didn't move to pick up a menu. "I know what I want."

"Me too." I practically knew the menu by heart at this point, and I knew what I liked.

"I swear to Celestia, if you both order the same thing, I'm going to be sick," Margarine said.

I eyed Rarity with curiosity, and she shrugged. We both spoke at the same time.

"House salad, extra cucumber, no onion, vinaigrette dressing."—"Joe's famous three egg omelette, double the mushrooms."

Margarine sighed in relief. "Oh, good. You're normal ponies. I was afraid that we were gonna have some kind of love song on our hooves in a second."

I swatted her side with the menu, snickering, "And give it wings. We've got all kinds of romantic stuff to do later."

Rarity raised an eyebrow at me. "Tell me, Jake, is... tailoring a particularly romantic endeavor where you're from?"

I shrugged, "Nah. What could be romantic about a lady putting her hands all over a guy, getting his measurements and sizing him up?" I waggled my eyebrows at her.

Rarity blushed, and swatted me on the shoulder. "You are terrible! You must tip Miss Margarine very well if she puts up with such... such... sass!"

Margarine chuckled, taking our menus and offering a parting shot as she left, "Oh, he knows how to use the tip all right, miss."

Rarity's mouth dropped open briefly and her face turned beet red. "That was... crude, and also very witty. I see why you and her get along so well, Jake."

I laughed, "Yeah, Marge is great. She was probably the first friend I made here."

Rarity raised an eyebrow. "Not Princess Celestia?"

"Well," I ventured, frowning as I considered that, "that's like... like saying that your mom is your first friend, right? Not exactly incorrect, but not quite correct, either."

Rarity laughed, nodding in understanding. "She's a bit of a mother to the whole country."

"I picked up on that pretty quickly. I mean, she calls you guys 'my little ponies'. How cute is that?" I said, chuckling.

Rarity smiled warmly. "She really is very dear to all of us. Her and Luna, both."

That reminded me of a question that I'd had that had gone unasked for a while. "I, uh, I hope this isn't a sore subject for you ponies, but... what's the deal between Princess Luna and Princess Celestia and everypony? There's this... weird tension."

Rarity nodded in understanding, tapping the edge of the table with one hoof. "Ah, yes. That's a bit complicated."

"I got that feeling, and I didn't want to ask Celestia such a personal question. She's done a lot for me, so I didn't want to make her uncomfortable."

"I can understand why you would worry, but I am certain that Celestia would have been more than willing to explain the situation. You see, Princess Luna has only recently returned to Equestria. It is a bit of a long story, but to sum it up as concisely as possible; A thousand years ago, Luna was the less popular of the two sisters, and her jealousy and her wish to be held as an equal turned... ugly. The details are a bit muddy, but Luna allowed herself to be corrupted by a dark power that promised to make her as loved as Celestia. As a result, she became evil, and wreaked havoc on Equestria. Celestia was forced to banish her for a thousand years."

I squinted. "Holy shit. A thousand years? That doesn't exactly sound like Celestia."

Rarity chuckled darkly. "She is a formidable mare, indeed. She wasn't exactly forthcoming about the reason Luna was banished for a thousand years. Twilight tried explaining it to me, once, but... I'm afraid that when it comes to the arcane, I'm a bit of a laypony."

"Sorry, please continue," I said, realizing we'd gotten a bit off topic.

Rarity cleared her throat and spoke again. "Her banishment ended two years ago, and Twilight Sparkle used a magical artifact to destroy the corruption when she returned. Princess Luna was without her power for nearly a whole year as a result, and only recently began working at her sister's side as the co-regent of Equestria."

I nodded slowly. "Well... that would certainly explain the strained relationship vibe I'd picked up on. Princess Luna has been very nice to me, though. I used to stay up and spend late nights chatting with her when she held her night court. I'd noticed that she didn't get nearly the same volume of petitioners, and I could tell that it bothered her, but she never really explained."

"I think it's still a bit of a difficult conversation topic for both of them. They have been working together very closely, but Princess Luna has a bit of an... image problem. Both in her own mind, and in reality," Rarity said.

I considered my interactions with Luna, remembering how surprised she'd been that I had simply elected to spend time with her. She'd been very kind, and also a bit cautious, as though she was afraid of something. Not me, but thinking back, it might have had something to do with the whole ordeal she'd gone through. I could appreciate being a bit afraid of those darker aspects of yourself.

Rarity picked up on my pensive expression, and smiled. "Thinking about things in a new light?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess so? It just seems really tragic, that's all. Luna is a good pony, and I'm not the kind of person to judge people on what they did in the past. God knows, I've done things I'm not proud of, but I learned and grew and changed as a result," I said, my voice low.

Rarity rolled her eyes in an exaggerated manner. "There you go, being mysterious again!" she said, giggling.

I laughed, prodding her on the chest. "Don't go trying to drag my secrets out of me!"

"Moi? I would never!" she said, laughing.

"Celestia above, Marge wasn't kiddin'. Do I need to get you two a room?" said a gruff and familiar voice.

I turned, beaming, as Doughnut Joe himself trotted over, bearing our order on his back. Rarity gasped happily, sitting up in her seat. "Joe! How lovely to see you!"

"Miss Rarity?" Joe said, obviously shocked. "What are you doing hangin' around a yeti like Jake? Ain't you interested in a better class of stallion?"

I scowled at Joe in mock anger, a slight smile tugging at the corner of my mouth, and muttered, "Asshole."

"Yeah, yeah, takes one to know one, pal," Joe said, smirking back at me.

Rarity raised a single eyebrow at our little exchange, and frowned. "I will have you know that Jake has been a perfect gentlecolt."

Joe and I both looked at Rarity, surprise writ large across our faces. "Really?" Joe asked.

"Not even remotely!" Rarity burst out laughing, slapping a hoof on the table. This produced a dainty tap, which only succeeded in making me bite my lip in amusement.

We all shared a laugh, and Joe served up our food. I grinned at the mess of egg and mushrooms on my plate, relishing the coming meal. Joe beamed at the two of us, "Sorry I didn't come out earlier. Lunch rush."

"No worries, Joe. How's things?" I said, grabbing my napkin and putting it in my lap. It wouldn't do to get egg all over my good pants. I only had the one pair.

"Busy, as usual. What are the two of you kids doin' in my diner together?" Joe asked, eyeing Rarity and I with interest.

"Jake, here, rescued me from a boring tea party the other day, and we decided that we'd rather be here having coffee than drinking tea with Princess Celestia," Rarity explained, pouring the dressing over her salad as she spoke.

Joe's eyebrows raised up in surprise. "No kiddin'? You left tea with the Princess to come here? I'm flattered, really!"

"Oh, please, darling. Don't sell yourself short! Your coffee is my lifeblood when I'm working in Canterlot," Rarity said, smiling at Joe.

Joe blushed, nodding. "O-oh, well, of course. You're always welcome here, Miss Rarity."

"And I appreciate it," Rarity replied, tucking her napkin onto her lap and levitating her fork in her magic. “Unfortunately, when we arrived, you were closed, so we rescheduled and came here today.”

“Yeah, sorry about that whole mess. Glad you decided to come back!” Joe turned away from Rarity and gave me a stern look, and he put a hoof into my face. "You treat Miss Rarity right, Jake, or so help me, I'll cut you off from my sweet nectar of the alicorns."

I laughed, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. "Who do you think I am, Joe?"

"Some kinda lucky, to get this nice mare's attention. She's a national treasure, got it?" Joe said, still serious.

I realized that Joe wasn't messing around as much as I'd thought. "Yeah, I get it. I promise, Joe, I'll be a gentleman," I said, returning his serious stare with an earnest one of my own.

Joe seemed satisfied with my answer, and he grinned, trotting away as he spoke. "All right. You two kids have a nice lunch. I gotta get back."

Rarity waved at Joe, before turning to look at me with a surprised stare. "Goodness, darling, he gave you quite the dressing down!"

I shrugged, "No joke. I felt like I was meeting your dad."

Rarity laughed, her muzzle wrinkling up cutely in amusement, "Oh, no no no, darling. My father would have been about twenty times worse."

I chuckled, taking a bite of my omelette, and muttered around my food, "Remind me not to take you on a date."

"No promises, darling," Rarity said with a wink, tucking into her salad with relish.

I swallowed hard, nearly choking, and stared at Rarity. She ignored me, her expression inscrutable, though the corners of her mouth curved up in a tiny smile. I shook my head and focused on my food. For several long minutes, the comfortable silence of two people enjoying a meal surrounded our corner of the diner. Joe's omelette was excellent, as always, though a part of me wished that I could get a side of bacon with my meal. There would be time for that later, though, when I got back to the castle and wouldn't have to offend Rarity with my dietary needs. Margarine dropped by to refill our cups of coffee and check in on us, but we were mostly left alone in the midst of the bustle of the busy diner.

The quiet between us stretched languidly as we neared the end of our meal. I finished a bit before Rarity and sipped my coffee, content to people watch. Pony watch? Whatever. Rarity sighed happily as she pushed her plate of salad back a bit, leaning into her seat. "Delicious, as always. Joe has a knack for comfort food."

I eyed the salad. "Comfort food? I'd always assumed that was things like biscuits and gravy, or chicken noodle soup."

Rarity blinked. "... Chicken noodle soup?"

Right. Vegetarians. "Never mind," I said quickly, hoping to cover up my faux pas.

"No, I'm curious. Are the noodles chicken shaped, or...?"

I grimaced. "Can we go with that?"

Rarity eyed me, obviously confused about my discomfort, and her eyes locked onto my teeth. She sat back a bit in her seat, suddenly. "Oh. Oh, I see."

I sighed, knowing the jig was up, and opened my mouth, pointing to my canine teeth briefly, before closing my mouth. "Yeah, that's what those are for."

Rarity covered her mouth and composed herself, blushing. "I'm sorry, darling. You certainly aren't the first carnivore—"

"Omnivore," I corrected.

"Er, omnivore, that I've met. Nothing to be ashamed of!" she said, giggling nervously.

"I... yeah. Is that okay with you? Really?" I asked, speaking plainly.

Rarity moved her hoof away from her mouth, setting both of them on the table. She closed her eyes for a moment and exhaled slowly. When she opened them, she wore a serious expression. "Absolutely fine, darling. I promise. I've spent the last two years around Twilight Sparkle, and her assistant is a young dragon named Spike. He is as kind to me as anypony ever has been, moreso even, and he has teeth twice as sharp as yours."

I stared into her eyes. "Are you sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Rarity chuckled gently, reaching out and placing a hoof on my cheek. "Jake, you needn't worry. As I said, I've been around teeth twice as sharp, and they have never done me harm. Perish the thought! Little Spike would rather throw himself from a cliff than do me harm."

I raised an eyebrow at that statement. "Wow."

Rarity giggled, blushing. "Spike has had a bit of a crush on me for a while. He is a sweet and kind friend, but he is very young. He'd be more of a suitable age for somepony like my younger sister."

I smiled. "He sounds cool. A dragon, huh?"

"Indeed. He is very, ah, cool, and a dear friend. You and he would likely get along very well," Rarity said.

I shrugged, considering that. "Yeah. Maybe next time I see Princess Twilight, I'll ask her if she can bring Spike along for a visit. She's usually all business when we're together, maybe he could get her to loosen up a bit."

Rarity laughed, "Spike is very good at getting Twilight to loosen up. He's practically her sibling."

"Speaking of siblings, you said you have a sister?" I asked, leaning in with interest.

"Oh! Sweetie Belle! Yes, she is a delight. Very, ah, precocious. She recently got her cutie mark, along with two of her best friends. It was something of a big event in Ponyville, for... various and complicated reasons," Rarity said, smirking at some joke that I wasn't privy to. "Let's just say that she and her friends had been working very hard for a very long time to find their special talents, and we were all very anxious for the day that their little crusade would end." She laughed to herself in a way that lead me to believe that it was a long story, so I didn't push it.

"So, is she into dressmaking like you? Did she get a frilly petticoat for a cutie mark?" I said, smirking at my guess.

"Nothing of the sort, actually. Her cutie mark is very unique and very special. Her and her two friends gained almost identical cutie marks at the same time, which is unheard of. They determined that their unique talent was helping other ponies understand their own unique talent, as a team."

"So, what, they're like... Cutie Mark Counselors?"

"Yay!" Rarity added, with a giggle.

I blinked, staring at her. "What?"

She blushed, laughing. "Nothing! Sorry, darling. Yes, they act as counselors of sorts. It's been a real treat to see them grow up and find their place."

I smiled, glancing down into my cup of coffee. "That's really sweet."

Rarity was quiet for a moment, and she reached out and touched my cup of coffee with her hoof, getting my attention. I looked up, smiling, "Hm?"

"I lost you for a moment," she said, looking at me with curiosity.

"Oh, yeah. Just..." I exhaled slowly, "Sorry I'm being such a bummer right now, but I miss my family."

Rarity smiled a gentle smile, "That sounds very equine to me."

I chuckled, looking into her eyes. "Thanks. I mean it. You've been sharing all these great things with me, and I'm just getting wrapped up in my own thoughts. Your sister sounds great."

"She really is. She spends a lot of time with me whenever I'm in Ponyville. I haven't seen as much of her as of late, what with working between my boutiques and Ponyville."

"Yeah? It's a pain to have to work so far from home," I said, nodding in understanding.

Rarity quirked an eyebrow at me, and then her eyes widened, and she grinned, "Oh! You misunderstand, darling. Terribly sorry, I wasn't very clear. I have a business in Ponyville where I live, and one here in Canterlot."

I felt my eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and I whistled. "Wow. You run two businesses?"

"Three, actually. I have a boutique in Manehattan, too," Rarity said, trying desperately not to look proud of herself and failing. I didn't blame her. That was impressive.

"Damn, mare. You're a bigger deal than you let on. Three businesses, all selling your clothes, and in three different cities? That's incredible."

Rarity waved a hoof in a dismissive motion, "Oh, no, please. No need to flatter me, darling. I'm no different than anypony else. I've had a measure of good fortune and success, thanks to good decisions and better friends helping me along the way."

I laughed, shaking my head. "And she's modest!"

Rarity giggled, giving me a playful shove on the shoulder. "Oh, please!"

I shook my head, staring into her blue eyes. "You're too perfect. Please, do something dumb, just to prove you're not a goddess or something."

Rarity blushed, looking away from my gaze, and I snickered. "Sorry. Too far?"

Rarity recovered quickly and smirked at me. "Honestly, Jake, you are too much. Plus, even if I did something spectacularly silly... this is Equestria. Who is to say I'm not a goddess?"

I laughed at that, shaking my head. "Wow, okay, strike modest. Good work, Rarity, you've proved your, uh, equinity."

She rolled her eyes and looked to the end of our table as Margarine arrived, dropping off our check. She smiled at us. "You two having a good time?"

"Yeah, Marge, thanks!" I said, reaching for the check.

Rarity's hoof darted out, snagging the check before I could, and she pulled it onto her side of the table with a little aggressive grunt. I pulled my hand back, my eyes widening, and she smiled primly at me, reaching up with one hoof to pull a strand of her mane that had fallen forward back into place. "I will be handling this, thank you very much."

I scowled. "Oh, no, that's not how it works. I brought you here, I pay."

Rarity returned the scowl, "Ah, that is not how it works with me. I coerced you to bring me here with my charm and beauty, and so I shall pay the check."

"I definitely swept you off your hooves with my foreign ways and crushing wit. My treat," I said, reaching across the table for the check.

"I insist," Rarity said, pulling the check out of my reach and into the air with her magic.

"Wuh-oh! Trouble in paradise. Looks like I won't be getting engagement invitations after all," Margarine said, laughing.

I sighed, eyeing the check floating in midair. No way I was getting it. "Magic is cheating."

"Absolutely is, darling, but I'm afraid that all is fair in love and restaurant payments," Rarity said, retrieving a small purse and pulling a stack of bits from inside.

That was very true. I shook my head, laughing to myself. "Fine. Marge, take her money, but don't tell her that I'll be back tonight to bribe you not to accept her bits the next time we come."

Margarine and Rarity both shared a look, and Rarity giggled, eyeing me. "Next time we come?"

I realized what I'd said almost immediately, and found myself on the blushing, stammering side of stupid responses. "Y-yeah. Y'know. Next time!" So smooth. What the hell was wrong with me?

"So much for crushing wit," Rarity quipped, giggling as she paid Margarine.

I desperately tried to find some way to recover, and snapped my fingers. "Ah! But you said that all was fair in love and restaurant payments! What's that supposed to mean, Miss Charm and Beauty?"

Margarine patted a hoof on my shoulder and shook her head, looking sorrowful. "Moment's passed, hun. You're off your game. Time to pack it up and go home."

I exhaled in a huff, defeated, and Rarity smirked. "Well, not quite. He's coming home with me, first. Or, rather, to my boutique, as 't were."

Margarine smirked. "Oho, and what's that supposed to mean?"

"Yeah, what is that supposed to mean?" I chimed in, desperately trying to recapture my wit.

Rarity rolled her eyes, not playing into our teasing whatsoever. "I'm fixing his suit. It is, as you've likely noticed, atrocious."

Margarine nodded, "Yeah. It's bad. You'd be doing us all a favor to fix that eyesore."

Rarity beamed at Margarine, and looked at me with delight as she pointed at the waitress. "I like her."

I looked down at my suit, trying to see what Rarity was seeing, and grumbled, "I still don't see it."

Margarine smirked. "Of course you don't. You're a stallion. Stallions are oblivious," she said, before taking our check and trotting behind the counter to the register to settle our bill.

Rarity giggled and stood up from the booth, waiting while I gathered my jacket. I moved to put it on, but she reached out a hoof and stopped me. "Just... just leave it off, Jake. For me? If I have to look at that thing on you for one more instant, I'm liable to tear it off of you."

"Wow," I said, waggling my eyebrows at her, "that's super hot, Rarity."

Rarity shoved a hoof into my stomach, perhaps a little harder than I deserved, and I doubled over, clutching my sore gut and laughing. She rolled her eyes, "Come along, now, Jake. It's not terribly far to walk, but I'd rather take it slow. It is unladylike to trot after a meal!" She smiled, turning her muzzle up at a haughty angle, and walked towards the exit to the diner.

As we exited, Corporal Sapphire Spirit arrived at the front of the diner. She looked angry, her cheeks puffed out in exasperation and her ears trembling with indignation. "Jake!"

I stopped, staring down at the pegasus guardsmare. She was visibly vibrating with anger, and her wings flared out at her sides, almost as though she was puffing herself up to make herself look bigger. It was sort of adorable, though, and I had to try very hard not to reach over and give her a pat on the nose. "Sapphire. I was wondering when you'd catch up with me. Took you that long to figure out what we'd done?"

Sapphire scowled, and pointed a hoof at me. "You're coming back to the castle with me, mister. The Captain has been crawling all over my tail after I left you unescorted! I'm liable to get broken back down to a private!"

I winced. "Crap. I'm sorry, Sapphire." Rarity peered around me at Sapphire, smiling uncertainly. I turned to face her. "So... rain check on the suit?"

Rarity's lips formed a cute pout, and she frowned at me. "Hm. We seem to be getting interrupted regularly, Mister Jake."

"Sorry, but... I really don't want to get Corporal Sapphire in trouble," I said, gesturing to the fuming pegasus.

"Oh, well, of course not! That would be awful," Rarity agreed, smiling at Sapphire. "You'll take good care of Mister Jake, won't you, Miss Spirit?"

Sapphire seemed to remember that I was with Rarity, and she blushed, stammering out a reply. "O-oh! Yeah! Of course, Miss Rarity!" she said, saluting awkwardly.

"And don't forget to drop by the boutique. In fact, bring Jake with you. We can solve his wardrobe problem, and get a head start on designing those pieces like I promised, hm?"

Sapphire nodded, grinning happily, "Yeah! Uh, that... that sounds amazing!"

Rarity winked at me and turned away, calling over her shoulder, "It sounds like a date. Ta-ta!"

I watched her trot away, a stupid smile spreading over my face. I turned and eyed Sapphire, noting the similar expression on hers. "So... uh... back to the castle, then?"

Sapphire snapped out of her daze and coughed into one hoof, trying to compose herself. She nodded. "Y-yeah."

I gestured. "Mares first."

She scowled. "Yeah, like I'm letting you out of my sight again. Move it, lover colt. Hut-two!"

I mock-saluted to her and walked ahead, smiling to myself as I began the walk back to the castle. Something struck me, then, and I turned and looked at Sapphire. "Hey, wait. Did she say it sounded like a date?"

Sapphire stared at me, dumbfounded, and then let out an unprofessional curse. "How in Equestria did you get so lucky?!"

2: Man Cannot Live On Fine Wine Alone

View Online

I felt cool air blowing across my face before my eyes even opened. I clenched my fists, shifting under the covers and rolling subtly away from the annoying breeze. I heard an impatient huff, and the air redoubled, like a fan blowing on my face. I growled. "Five more minutes."

"No more minutes! Up and at 'em!" It was Sapphire, of course. Only more impatient and insistent than usual. What did she have against my biological need for sleep?

I groaned, rolling over and reaching out, poking the annoying pegasus pony on the nose like one would attempt to silence an annoying alarm clock. She snorted, sneezed, and then resumed flapping her wings in my face. I sighed, wincing as the air blew my hair back, and I sat up in bed, looking at Sapphire. "What time is—?" My voice locked up.

Sapphire was out of uniform, and the only reason I didn't immediately assume it was a different pegasus that had barged into my room was because her voice was far too distinct to my ears. I'd never seen her out of her enchanted guard armor in her natural coat and mane color. She was a light tan color with dappled grey markings across her hindquarters and rear legs that trailed up her sides and stopped at her shoulders, and her coat darkened to nearly-black natural stockings. Her pixie-cut dark blue mane and guard-regulation short cropped tail had a streak of bright blue running through them. She had on saddlebags, a dark grey canvas that contrasted with her coat, and they bore a embroidered mark that I assumed matched the cutie marks on her flank: A blue diamond with golden wings spreading out from the gem.

"Four in the afternoon, you lazy colt! You're awfully lucky that Princess Celestia kept up her end of the bargain and gave you a west-facing room. This isn't even her wing of the castle!" Sapphire groused, prodding me in the chest with a hoof.

"No mercy for a man that scribed for Princess Luna in Night Court? I was in service to the country, you ridiculous beast."

"You're the ridiculous beast. Not even a coat to keep warm!" Sapphire retorted.

"That's rich. You're not even wearing clothes. You're the silly pony, silly pony," I pointed out, reaching across to my bedside table and grabbing the undershirt I'd left there from the other night. I gave it a quick sniff and scowled. "Can you get out for a minute? I need to get up and actually get some clothes on."

Sapphire squinted at me. "You're so weird about being naked."

"No, you're the strange one, I assure you," I said, gathering my blanket around my midsection and strolling over to the dresser to find something better to wear.

"Well, hurry up!" Sapphire said, flicking her tail and trotting towards the door as she spoke. "This is my only afternoon off for the next week or so, and I told Miss Rarity that I'd bring you along when I went to visit her boutique."

I blinked, recalling the conversation with Rarity a few days ago. "Oh, right. Right!" I suddenly felt grateful that Sapphire had gotten me up. "Let me shower really quick!"

"You smell fine, Jake. Honestly, you're so obsessed with your odor. There's nothing wrong with a bit of stallion muskiness," Sapphire called from the doorway.

I blinked, and turned to look over towards the door to my room. "Uh, actually... you think I smell okay?"

"Sure. You smell like a guy," Sapphire said. I couldn't see her face, but I assumed she was being honest. Probably.

"No, I mean... okay, as a mare, do you think I smell good, or should I rinse off really quick? Because, to me, I smell a bit sweaty."

Sapphire peeked her head around the door, squinting at me incredulously. "What's this about?"

I considered her for a moment, before I sighed and gestured her inside. "Look, I'm new, and I'm still adjusting to Equestria. Celestia asked you to be patient with me, right?"

"Right. Is this some kind of weird human thing?" Sapphire asked, suddenly interested.

"Yeah. We've got a thing about smells. I think it's a bit of the animal parts of our brain or something. We don't like body odors very much, especially strong ones. Is that the same with ponies?" I asked.

Sapphire shrugged. "Well, I mean, yes and no? Nopony likes a stinky pony, but there's a difference between scent and stink. Does that make sense?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess. So, you're saying that my, ah, natural odor is...?"

"It's your scent. It's sort of a herd thing. I don't know how strong your nose is, but ours is pretty sophisticated. The only thing I'd say in favor of you rinsing off is that you've got a bit of a... um... carnivore smell to you," Sapphire explained.

"That would be breakfast. I'll wash off really quick," I said, turning and heading for the bathroom after grabbing some clothes. I retrieved my suit as well, setting it out so I could bring it for Rarity to alter.

A few minutes later, I was clean and getting dressed, pulling on my black slacks and buttoning my white shirt. Sapphire peered around the corner, shooting me an impatient glare. "Are you decent?"

"Decent enough. I'll be out in moments," I said, sparing her a quick glance.

Sapphire was practically prancing in place. "C'mon, Jake! I don't want to be late!" she said, watching me button each button.

I deliberately slowed down. Sapphire noticed after a moment, and snorted. "Jerk. You..."

I noticed her trail off, and looked up at her. She was squinting at my chest, right at the scar in the center of it. She glanced up, meeting my eyes, and looked surprised. "Did you used to be in the military?"

I looked down at the scar. Circular, raised edges. How could she possibly know what kind of scar a bullet hole left? "What makes you say that?" I asked evasively.

Sapphire looked up at me, smirking. "Arrow wound. Some of the older vets have 'em."

"Mm. No, I wasn't in the military," I answered, buttoning up my shirt the rest of the way

Sapphire looked surprised, but shrugged. "Huh. And here I thought that maybe we'd have something in common."

"I think the only thing we have in common is how much of a pain in the ass we are to each other," I said, chuckling.

"True that!" Sapphire leapt up into the air as I pulled my shoes on, hovering around my head. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

"Woo!" She stuck up a hoof victoriously, and I bumped it. "Let's go get pretty!"

I snorted. "Sapphire, Rarity seems very competent, but she's not a miracle worker." I shot Sapphire a wink as I tucked my suit into a bag and slung it over my shoulder.

Sapphire rolled her eyes as she landed and shoved me in the ass, pushing me towards the door. "Yeah, yeah. Funny guy. You won't be laughing when I'm striking a pose—" she struck a dramatic pose, wings flaring open and one hoof raised, "—in an original dress by Miss Rarity!"

"Sure, Sapphire," I said, shaking my head as I headed out to the hallway.

I noticed Princess Celestia immediately as I left my room, as she approached me from down the hallway. She smiled her gracious smile. I lifted a hand up in an uncertain wave, not sure that she was actually coming to see me or if this was a coincidence.

I immediately reconsidered. Celestia was a chess master: there were no coincidences.

Sapphire Spirit walked around me, spotted Celestia, and stopped in her tracks. She immediately turned serious, stiffening up to attention, as did my afternoon guard, Just Cause. They both snapped off quick salutes with their wings as Celestia halted in front of me. "Going out, Jake?"

"Hello, Princess. Yeah, actually, Corporal Sapphire and I were going to run an errand together," I said, hoping not to make a big fuss.

"An errand with Miss Rarity?" Celestia said, smiling and nodding to Sapphire and Just Cause. They both relaxed a bit.

I smirked. "I can't get anything by you, can I?"

"It helps that Corporal Sapphire has been bragging about her impending meeting with Miss Rarity to the whole barracks," Celestia said evenly.

Sapphire blushed, but otherwise didn't move or change her expression. "Just very excited, Princess."

"And why wouldn't you be? Rarity is quite the designer. I would be flattered to be asked to model for her... but, alas, there's no ponies quite my size to market to." Celestia giggled, turning to the side and spreading her wings for effect.

I smirked. "All the extra cake, I'd imagine."

Sapphire not-so-subtly stepped on my foot. I grit my teeth, holding my smirk and pretending not to notice. Celestia laughed, shaking her head. "Well, I was dropping by to see how you liked your new accommodations in my sister's wing of the castle. Do you miss my sunrises?"

I almost said something snarky, but I realized suddenly that I did miss them. "... Yes, actually. It was the second-best part of waking up with the sun."

"Oh?" Celestia actually appeared caught off guard. She was quiet for a brief moment, and then asked, curiously, "What was the best part?"

Now it was snark time. "Not having to listen to you snore anymore."

Celestia covered her mouth with one hoof to hide a smirk, and she rolled her eyes. "Of course." She turned to regard Sapphire. "Corporal Sapphire, I assume you can handle this fine gentleman's escort duty, since you are accompanying him?"

"Yes, Princess. I can definitely handle this insubordinate miscreant," Sapphire said, nudging my hip with her shoulder.

Celestia chuckled, and turned to Just Cause. "Specialist Just Cause, you are at liberty for the rest of your shift. Report in to your duty officer and let them know."

Just Cause's 'guard face' broke apart as he grinned, saluting Celestia. "Yes, Princess!"

Celestia smiled and began to trot down the hallway, heading elsewhere in the castle. She called over her shoulder as she left, "Have fun, you two."

Sapphire glared at me as Celestia left. "You're an idiot, Jake. Cake? Really?"

"Hey, the mare has vices. I think it... uh... equinizes her?"

"Nothing could equinize her. She's perfect," Sapphire said, shaking her head. "All right, let's go."

I followed Sapphire out of the castle and into the streets of Canterlot. Sapphire seemed to know the way, so I was content to walk beside her. I shook my head. Celestia was certainly something else. Sapphire seemed to notice my expression, and she took to her wings, flying up to eye-level with me. "What's on your mind?"

"Oh, just thinking about how Celestia probably maneuvered me into this position to try and get me to make a friend. She pushed me into talking with Rarity, right? I think she knew exactly how that would turn out. My distaste for the nobles, plus Rarity's charm making her far more attractive to me as an alternative to sticking around and being bored to death?" I laughed, shrugging.

Sapphire seemed to understand. "Oh, no doubt. You're Celestia's new project. She always is looking for ways to push her little ponies to better themselves."

I sighed, smiling. "Yeah. For all the crap that I give her, I have to admit, she's pretty incredible."

Sapphire nodded, and suddenly poked me in the chest. "So. You and Rarity, huh?"

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Yeah. What about it?"

"Nothing. I'm just surprised, is all," Sapphire said, landing back on her hooves beside me and flicking her tail.

"Why's that?" I asked, curious.

"Well, I just didn't expect somepony who's fresh to Equestria to fall for a pony so quickly!" Sapphire said.

I literally stumbled, almost falling on my face, but barely managed to recover. "What?"

Sapphire giggled at me. "Jake, you are putting out all the signs."

"I am?" I said, breaking into a bit of a sweat. "No, you're just imagining things! I don't... I mean, how the heck would I even know what signs I'm putting out? I'm not a pony!"

"You're a guy, though. I talked to Margarine, at Joes? She said you were holding her hoof and staring into her eyes and talking really serious-like." Sapphire said, casting me a wink. "I'd almost be impressed if I weren't so jealous!"

I considered my actions as I walked beside Sapphire. Had I been acting... romantically? I mean, there absolutely was something appealing about Rarity. She was witty, and generous, and her eyes... I swallowed, hard. "Okay, yeah. I see it, now. But, I... I mean, we were just having a serious conversation. Really deep personal issues got brought up. We talked about how... I miss my family, Sapphire. If I was putting out signals, it was unintentional."

Sapphire looked surprised. "Oh. Uh, well... that definitely is different. I guess?"

Sapphire was quiet for a minute, and I glanced down at her, trying to read her expression. She looked... hurt? "What?"

"Hm?" Sapphire looked up at me.

"You look upset. I think."

Sapphire chuckled. "No, it's not your fault. I was just surprised that Rarity got you to open up so quickly. I've been your guard for two months, now, and you've never really talked about yourself with me."

"Oh," I said, suddenly feeling awkward.

Sapphire smiled up at me. "Rarity must be pretty amazing in pony, if she can get you out from behind that wall you keep up."

"Wall?" Now I was definitely sweating.

Sapphire rolled her eyes. "Jake, ponies are really social creatures, and beyond that, I'm pretty perceptive. I can tell what's real and what's not. Your casual sarcasm and snark? That's a defense."

I swallowed, looking away from her. Sapphire stopped, prompting me to stop as well, and she stood up on her hind legs, placing a forehoof on my chest. "You've been through some hard stuff. I don't blame you for having walls. But... don't be afraid to come out from behind them every once in a while? Especially for somepony as special as Rarity."

I nodded. I didn't really have the strength to reply at that moment, because I was pretty sure I'd choke if I said anything. Sapphire smiled, patting me on the shoulder, and then got back down on all fours, trotting towards Rarity's boutique.

We stopped before a large shop that sat on the side of a lovely square. Other specialty businesses advertised their wares and services, but Rarity's boutique was unmistakable for its sign: a likeness of Rarity's own blue eyes, peering out in a black background, her signature curled violet mane style floating and swooping around it like a crescent. Sapphire danced on the tips of her hooves, giggling and flapping her wings in excitement, all semblance of composure lost.

I approached the stark white and lavender storefront with swooping modern Canterlot architecture, taking note of the violet accents. Rarity had put a lot of work into making this place hers, and my esteem of the businessmare jumped considerably. I whistled in appreciation, nodding towards the building at we approached. Sapphire giggled, almost squealing with girlish excitement. "I know!" she cooed happily.

I chuckled and shook my head as I held the door open for Sapphire, and she regained some of her composure as she entered the showroom, her fluttering wings and twitching tail the only indication that she was overexcited. Sometimes, ponies were easy to read, with their ears, tails, and even wings giving away little clues to their mental state. I wasn't always oblivious, but the nuance sometimes was lost on me.

The inside was just as dazzling as the outside. The showroom was a multi-tier affair with a swooping staircase that went to a second level. Racks and racks of dresses and accessories filled alcoves and spaces, leaving the central portion of each room clear. Some curtained changing rooms sat to one side, and the central most point of the boutique was a raised stage, complete with dramatic theater-style curtains and a proscenium arch. Polished dark blue floors and plush purple carpets and rugs covered the space and added contrast to the lilac paint and marble column facade. A few ponies browsed, all mares, and all giggling and talking excitedly. They all got very quiet when I entered the showroom floor, staring around in wide-eyed wonder at the interior of the building. "Wow."

"It's just as amazing as I dreamed it would be!" Sapphire said quietly to me, giggling as her eyes roved hungrily over the racks of dresses.

A robin's-egg blue, remarkably lanky unicorn mare with a flame-orange mane approached, one eyebrow arching critically as she examined me. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, we're here to see Miss Rarity?" I said, trying my best to sound non-threatening.

The unicorn mare sniffed once, frowning slightly, and then trotted upstairs, leaving Sapphire and I to our own devices. All eyes were on me at the moment, and I tried to appear relaxed, following Sapphire's lead as she moved over to examine a nearby rack of dresses. She was whispering to herself about the fabric and nuzzling her nose against the hem of one dress, giggling happily. "Having fun?" I asked.

She jumped a bit, but recovered immediately and beamed up at me, her cheeks rosy. "Jake, this is an absolute dream."

I smiled, taken by Sapphire's enthusiasm. "I'm surprised you haven't been here before."

"Well, I'm an enlisted guard. We don't make a ton of bits, so..." Sapphire trailed off as she gestured towards a price tag on one of the dresses.

I picked it up and whistled. "Wow. Two hundred bits. That seems—"

Sapphire snatched the tag from my hands, staring at it, "What!? Two hundred? That must be a mistake! Did they forget a zero?"

"No mistake, darling!" called a familiar voice.

Sapphire and I both looked up to watch as Rarity herself trotted down the stairs. She wore stylish red glasses with flared frames and little glittering diamonds at the corners... and nothing else. It only stood out to me because every time we'd met thus far, she had been wearing a dress and accessories. It made sense, though. She was working, not out for high tea or a brunch. I'd come to terms with the fact that the ponies walked around wearing little to nothing at all, but it still was a striking moment after having grown used to seeing this mare always dressed in style. Her cutie mark was apparent, now: three blue diamonds arranged in a cluster on her flank. I recovered from my initial shock, and I saw Rarity's small grin. She'd definitely noticed that she had made an impact. Rarity was kind enough not to call me out, though, and she descended the stairs and joined us at the clothing rack, smiling over the rims of her glasses. "I pride myself on pricing my couture affordably. I want ponies to be able to feel as beautiful on the outside as they do inside."

Sapphire stared at Rarity in open-mouthed amazement, and her wings snapped open at her sides. I squinted at that little bit of body language and filed it away for questioning later. Rarity giggled, "No need to be shocked, darling. It is part of my business model."

Sapphire recovered, blushing and folding her wings at her sides once more. "I-I just... I assumed... I never actually came to visit, because I thought you'd be so far out of my price range."

Rarity smiled, "You were happily mistaken. However!" Rarity held a hoof up dramatically, beaming at both of us. "Today is not about prices and buying! Today is for creation!" She turned, trotting across the showroom to a door tucked next to the stage. "Follow me, my dears!"

Sapphire and I shared a look, grinning at each other, and we followed Rarity across the showroom as she opened the door and swept into a back room, flicking on lights and opening curtains as she did so. This was obviously the work room. A half-dozen pony-shaped mannequins were set around the room, covered in swatches of cloth and dresses in various stages of completion. Rarity focused her magic and dragged a little platform into the center of the room, and she tapped it with one hoof as she looked at Sapphire. "Step up here, please, and I can get started on your measurements."

Sapphire pranced up onto the box and, briefly, struck a haughty pose with her nose in the air, before giggling and smiling at Rarity. I chuckled. "You're ridiculous."

"Shush! Let me have my moment," Sapphire said, casting me a wan smile.

Rarity trotted over with a quill, notebook, and measuring tape floating around her head. She was all focus and business, her eyes glancing between the measuring tape and her notebook as she took down Sapphire's measurements. Rarity nodded after a moment, beaming. "Yes, you are quite the trim mare, Sapphire. I'll do my best not to be jealous!" She giggled, blowing gently on the ink on the page to help it dry. "I had a few guesses on your measurements, actually, but getting the precise numbers is the only way to work with accuracy!"

Sapphire blushed, waving a hoof. "That's very kind of you, Miss Rarity."

"Kind? No, I am being nothing but honest," Rarity smiled, turning away and looking over the measurements. As she read them, the magic aura around her horn intensified, and bolts of cloth and sewing equipment began to float through the air and gather around her head. She turned back to Sapphire, smiling. "I was hoping to drape a few pieces on you while I work, just to try and help my creative process. Is that all right?"

"Sure!" Sapphire said, tail swishing behind her.

"Now, before we start, do you need to use the little fillies' room? Once I start, moving is going to be difficult."

"Oh!" Sapphire froze in place, her nose scrunching up briefly, and then she nodded. "Yeah, I'd better go. Where is it?"

"Upstairs, second door on the right. Just ignore the mess, please? I didn't get much of a chance to clean up from my daily beauty regimen," Rarity said, giggling nervously.

Sapphire laughed, "Rarity, I live with a half-dozen other mares in the barracks. I doubt your bathroom can hold a candle to ours in terms of mess."

I snorted, shaking my head. "I'm sure it's a really interesting place."

Sapphire rolled her eyes at me as she trotted past. "Yeah, no joke. Manecare products everywhere."

Sapphire stepped out of the room, leaving Rarity and I alone. Rarity set aside all her materials, laying them out on a table, before turning to me and blushing. "Jake, darling, I must apologize for my rudeness!"

I raised an eyebrow at that. "What?"

Rarity trotted over to me and stood up on her hind legs, pulling me into a hug. She smelled like lilac. "I didn't even properly greet you! I was just very excited to get to work, and I neglected the most basic niceties."

I chuckled, returning the hug and then stepping back. I held Rarity's forehoof as I moved back, helping her lower herself back down to all fours; a trick that Celestia had told me was a gentlemanly gesture. I smiled, gesturing out towards the boutique. "Quite the place you have here."

"Oh, you're just being kind," Rarity said, batting her eyelashes exaggeratedly.

"Kind? No, I'm being nothing but honest," I said with a wink.

Rarity smirked. "Ah-ha, turning my own words against me, darling? You must have taken some lessons from Miss Margarine on being clever since last time."

I laughed, slapping my knee. "Wow, was it that obvious?" I said, rolling my eyes to emphasize my sarcasm.

Rarity snorted, turning away from me briefly to look over her tools and pulling out a quill and some parchment. "Hmm, you are certainly feisty today. Something you're happy about?"

"I'm just glad to be here, spending some time with two pretty ladies. This trip is hardly about me," I said, smiling and looking towards the door out of the workroom. "I've never seen Sapphire so happy. I mean, it's hard to tell, because... well, 'guard face', but she's obviously having the time of her life."

Rarity's face lit up, and she hummed happily to herself, "This is my favorite part of creating fashion for other ponies, Jake. Getting to see them feel beautiful. There is nothing that boosts one's confidence like a pretty gown or fancy hat!"

I laughed, gesturing to the bag slung over my shoulder. "Well, good thing I remembered to bring my suit for you to alter, otherwise my confidence would have to rely on my poorly fitted jacket."

Rarity looked up at the bag on my back and scowled. "Ugh. I'd almost forgotten about that wretched thing. I'd hoped you'd burned it. Or that Celestia had banished it to the sun for being a crime against fashion."

"It's literally my only suit," I said, shrugging.

"Well, that is unacceptable. We will be constructing a tailored, fashionable suit for you to wear as well!" Rarity declared, her measuring tape unspooling itself and floating towards me.

"What? Rarity, you don't have to do that!" I protested, batting at the measuring tape held in her blue magic.

"Nonsense. I will be doing it. And, before you go getting a big head, I'm not doing it for you," she said, her eyes narrowing as she focused her effort on the measuring tape and causing it to dart about me like an angry bird.

"Not doing it for me? A likely story," I said, trying to snatch the measuring tape out of the air.

Rarity nodded, "Indeed. I'm doing it for myself, because if I catch you wearing that suit ever again, I'll be asking Princess Celestia to throw you in the dungeon."

As she spoke, her measuring tape struck, cobra-fast, wrapping themselves around my wrists and pulling them together. They tied themselves into a complex bow. A second set of measuring tape floated from a nearby drawer and began taking my measurements as I struggled. I grunted, trying to undo the knot with my thumbs. "I doubt—damnit—Celestia would listen to you."

Rarity smiled her self-assured smile, stepping close to me as she began noting down my measurements. "You'd be surprised the kind of influence I have, darling."

"Am I interrupting something?" Sapphire called from the door.

I turned, glancing down at Rarity and my tied hands, and then back to Sapphire, who was smirking at me with a knowing look. "I'd tell you that this isn't what it looks like, but it's pretty much exactly what it looks like," I said.

Sapphire giggled, trotting back into the room and stepping up onto the box once more. "I figured as much. Miss Rarity, do I need to escort this miscreant to the dungeons?"

"Not in the slightest, darling. I have this ridiculous beast precisely where I want him," Rarity said, tittering as she finished getting the measurement around my chest.

"Seriously? I'm the one that's tied up, here. I thought you were supposed to be guarding me?" I said, sighing as I resigned myself to my fate.

Rarity noticed that I was being compliant, and she smiled a sly smile. "Mm, very good, Jake. I'll be done in a moment." She finished all of my upper body measurements, and her eyes roved over my slacks, frowning. "Your pants seem decently made. How many pairs do you have?"

"Two?" I said, knowing that it wasn't nearly enough.

"Two?!" Rarity said, shocked, and her brow furrowed. "That is unacceptable. Hold still."

Her measuring tape shot out in a whirl of blue magic and knocked me right in the inseam, and I let out a little grunt of discomfort, trying not to double over. Rarity's eyes widened slightly and she glanced up at me, a blush coloring her cheeks. "Terribly sorry, darling. I, ah... am not used to working with stallions."

"No, it's okay, I'm good," I whimpered, trying to hold still.

Rarity finished getting my measurements, quickly regaining her professionalism, and she noted down everything. "Goodness. You are tall."

"Yes, thank you, Madame Obvious," I said tersely, still a little sore.

Rarity smirked, turning away, "Oh, come now, Jake. Stop acting like a little colt. It was just a bump."

"Just a bump, she says," I said spotting a chair and sitting down in it gingerly.

"What, you want her to kiss it and make it better?" Sapphire said, grinning an evil grin at me.

I chuckled as Rarity blushed and turned to look at Sapphire, "How crass!"

Sapphire's ears flattened under Rarity's scrutiny, and she giggled uncertainly. "S-sorry, Miss Rarity."

Rarity sniffed, holding her nose up in the air at a haughty angle. "Honestly," she said, smiling a sudden and wicked smile, "going to such a dirty place? Perhaps you wanted to watch."

Sapphire stared at Rarity, her jaw dropping open, and I even raised an eyebrow. "Wow. Little pony can kick," I said, appreciatively.

"Mm, well, after being so easily disarmed by a crude joke or two from Miss Margarine at the diner, I decided to 'up my game', as 'twere," Rarity said, chuckling to herself as she tucked away my measurements for later and returned her focus to Sapphire.

I sat and watched quietly as Rarity pulled a bland-looking cloth, which she called muslin, and began to drape sections of it over Sapphire's body, working her way around the pegasus pony. She cut precise measurements as she worked; scissors, measuring tape, cloth, and pins orbiting her and working independently. Her ability to multi-task was nothing short of incredible, and I found myself staring—hypnotized—as Rarity trotted around Sapphire, her hips swaying and head bobbing to an unheard tune, her voice humming quietly to herself. Sapphire seemed just as mesmerized, but was very focused on holding still, only moving when Rarity directed her. Rarity made notes as she worked, adjusting the fit on the muslin and changing measurements when she found little irregularities.

After nearly an hour of work, Rarity helped Sapphire out of the test garment, and then undid the pins holding all the separate parts together and tucking the scraps on the table. Sapphire smiled at Rarity, "So, what's next?"

"Next is design!" Rarity said, pulling out fresh parchment paper and quills. She sketched out a simple pony body shape and gestured to Sapphire to move closer. "The amber in your eyes is so very stunning, Miss Sapphire. I really think a few careful accents in the right colors will make your eye color really pop! As for the form... flowing and elegant, but cut a little high... daring, but effective..." as she spoke, her quill moved, placing careful lines.

I stood up and moved closer, hovering over both mares as Sapphire and Rarity discussed thoughts and ideas, and the dress began to take form on the page. A few pieces of paper were set aside with rejected ideas, but I noticed that Rarity did not throw the designs away. Perhaps she thought they had some merit? Or that they might be perused for inspiration later? I picked up a few of the discarded designs and admired Rarity's clean hoofwork.

Behind me, Sapphire giggled happily. "This is incredible. You are incredible, Rarity."

Rarity laughed, nudging Sapphire's flank with her own. "My inspiration is coming from you, dear."

"I really like this one, Rarity," Sapphire said, pointing to the most recent sketch.

Rarity nodded, "It is very you, darling! We'll get started right away. We can use the muslin we made to help inform the cut and fit. I have a base pattern that we can work off of, and from there..."

Sapphire laughed, clapping her front hooves. "Ah, I'm so excited!"

"Up you get, Miss Sapphire!" Rarity said, gesturing to the box in the middle of the room.

I stretched and yawned, looking to Rarity. "Is there anything I can do to help? I'm feeling a little useless over here."

Rarity looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, before nodding. "Actually, there is. You can help me pin the fabric as we work. Your hands seem dexterous, like Spike's. He was always very good at that."

"Sure. Gives me something to do," I said, feeling a little happier to have something to occupy my time. I stepped up next to Sapphire, who looked over her shoulder at me with a huge grin. I chuckled, patting her on the neck, "Excited?"

"Yes!" Sapphire stood up on the tips of her hooves, spreading her wings at the same time, and stretched herself out, rolling her hips and shaking the nervous energy out of herself. "Whew! Okay, I'm ready to stand still again!"

Rarity smiled a knowing smile, her tail swishing with excitement, and she held up a hoof, "Idea!" Without further ado, her horn lit up and a bottle of wine and three mismatched wine glasses emerged from a high cupboard. Rarity smiled, "I've always found that a bit of wine helps a pony stay comfortable and happy while they're being fitted."

Sapphire looked surprised, and I laughed. "That's a great idea. Happy ponies make for good models, eh?"

"And happy fashionistas make for good company," Rarity said with a wink, as she poured three glasses of the rose colored wine and passed them out to each of us. I took my glass, and Sapphire sat back on her haunches and held hers. Rarity swirled the wine around her glass with a little flare, and smiled at both of us. "To creative endeavors!"

We touched the rims of our glasses together with a musical clink, and I took a careful sip of my wine, getting a taste for it. It was cloyingly sweet, with a nice alcoholic burn that made me exhale. "I'm not much of a dessert wine drinker, but this is decent."

Rarity smirked at me, inhaling the bouquet of her glass before taking a sip, and sighed happily. "Hm, well, I shall have to remember that."

"It's great!" Sapphire said, smacking her lips appreciatively. We both glanced at her glass and noticed that it was mostly empty. Sapphire noticed our looks and blushed a bit. "What?"

Rarity and I shared a laugh. I shrugged and downed my glass in one go before setting it aside on the work table. Rarity frowned, looking at her own glass, and put on a brave face as she tilted her head back and finished off her wine as well. She let out a breathy sigh and set the empty glass aside. "A little lubrication never harmed the creative process, hm?"

Sapphire set her glass aside and stood up once more. "All right. Ready!"

"We'll get to work as quick as we can, so you don't have to stand there for long, darling," Rarity said, already cutting material and floating a fresh pattern over towards me. I caught the pieces and draped them over one arm, holding them for Rarity as she worked.

Over the space of another hour, we began piecing together the dress. The daylight faded, and Rarity turned on a bright overhead light that allowed her to work without losing a sense of the colors she was using. Fabric flowed around me, and Rarity passed me a pincushion as she got to work. I managed to work the pins into the fabric, following the lines etched into the material by Rarity's magic. I only managed to poke Sapphire once, getting slapped by a wing in recompense. As we worked, we chatted and enjoyed another glass of wine, occasionally giving Sapphire a sip since she couldn't move.

Rarity stepped back, smiling as she looked over the draped garment. "This. Is. Marvelous!"

Sapphire's eyes widened, and she tried looking over her shoulder. "Is it? I can't see!"

I spotted a standing mirror and pulled it in front of Sapphire, and Rarity and I stood back and watched her reaction. Sapphire's eyes widened ever further as she stared at herself in the mirror. The dress was a subdued cream color with a flowing, high-cut skirt that hid a second, light blue petticoat. Gold accents around the collar and hem immediately called to mind the uniform of a royal guard. Sapphire spread her wings open, looking at the sides of the dress as well, her mouth dropping open slowly as she openly admired herself. I was vaguely reminded of a Mediterranean-style of dress, with layered cloth that seemed light and comfortable.

The dress, even in its incomplete state, looked marvelous, but I knew that there were aesthetic things that I wasn't seeing that Rarity and Sapphire were. I looked to Rarity, whose own eyes were starry with excitement and emotion. "Rarity, please... walk me through what I'm looking at, here."

Rarity spared me a glance and reached out, grabbing onto the hem of my shirt and pulling me down to her level. I crouched, my face next to hers, my nose filling with lilac, again. She wasn't even looking at me, though. Her eyes were on Sapphire, who was speechless. Her voice was a whisper as she explained. "The silhouette clings to her chest and flanks, accentuating her athletic frame and calling attention to her most flattering features. The slit up the side gives her a good range of motion, while also adding a bit of," Rarity giggled breathily, "sex appeal, as 'twere. The colors are perfect, bringing out the blue in her mane and accentuating the dappling of her coat, and the golden accents really bring attention to her amber eyes."

"So...?" I said, following Rarity's gaze over Sapphire as she turned in place.

"To put it simply, she is a very lovely mare, and the dress only accentuates this fact," Rarity said.

Sapphire turned to face Rarity, and she was silent for a moment, but tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She nodded once, swallowing, and carefully reached up a hoof to dab at her eyes. "It's..."

Sapphire sucked in a deep breath and held it. Rarity's grip on the hem of my shirt tightened, nearly pulling me into her side. "Yes?" She asked, her voice barely a squeak.

"... I've..." Sapphire exhaled, her smile trembling, and tears began to fall. "I've never felt more feminine or beautiful in my entire life."

Rarity was frozen on the spot for a moment, before she nearly leapt forward to rest a hoof on Sapphire's shoulder. "Is something wrong? Is it... too feminine?"

"No!" Sapphire nearly shouted, and she cleared her throat, sniffling, "No. It's incredible. I just... I live as a guard six days a week, on post in the castle. I don't get to be a mare very often. I wear armor, and I love my job... but when I'm in my armor, I'm just a guard. This makes me feel like a mare. It's perfect... everything I've ever dreamed!" Sapphire laughed softly, wiping at her eyes.

Rarity shot me a look over her shoulder and subtly gestured towards the table. I spun around, spotted a box of tissues, and grabbed them, bringing them over and offering Sapphire one. Sapphire laughed again, giving me a thankful smile and blushing as she blew her nose. "Goddess, Jake, your perception of me must be shattered right now!"

I shook my head, reaching over to pat her gently on the shoulder. "Not even. You're allowed to feel like a woman, Sapphire. I'm just... bad at knowing how that looks on a pony? If that makes sense?"

Sapphire giggled, wiping her eyes with another tissue. "I understand. Plus, you're a stallion. Wanting to feel pretty probably doesn't enter into your head very often, huh?"

I smirked. "Hey, sometimes a guy likes to look good. I can appreciate it."

Sapphire sniffled, laughing, and then pulled me in for a hug. "Thank you."

"Pin!" I yelped as I felt something sharp poke me in the chest

"Suck it up, Jake!" Sapphire said, giving me an extra-hard squeeze, before letting me go.

Sapphire turned to Rarity, reaching out one hoof and placing it on the unicorn mare's shoulder. "Rarity, this is the best day I've had in a long time. I'm sorry I'm so emotional," She giggled, "It might be all the wine."

"I'm just so, so happy that you're happy, Sapphire!" Rarity said, dabbing at her own eyes and smiling happily. "This is my favorite part of my work," Rarity said, laughing and shaking her head, "Look at me! Perhaps I should have eased up on the wine as well!"

I snorted. "Bunch of lightweights," I said, looking between the two mares with a wry grin.

Rarity laughed, "Indeed. Well, let's get you out of this dress! I have a lot of work to do to put it together, so it shall be a few days before you get to come back and see the final product. If you're reacting this way to the work-in-progress, I can hardly imagine the emotion that the finished piece will evoke!"

Rarity's magic went to work, slowly removing the dress. Sapphire wiggled her way out of it with the utmost care, up until her wings needed to be pulled through the holes in the sides of the dress. She struggled a bit, her tail flickering in irritation, and she glanced back at me. "Uh, a little help?"

I shook my head, stepping up beside her and gently working to tuck her feathers through the slits in the dress while Rarity supported the bulk of the dress in her magic. "Do you pegasus ponies always have to work so hard to get undressed?"

Sapphire giggled, her head disappearing into the neckline of the dress as she wriggled free of the upper part of the dress. "Typically, dresses for pegasus ponies are a little more engineered around the holes for our wings, so we can slide in and out without bending any primaries or messing up our wings too much," she explained.

She shivered and her wing fluttered a bit as I pushed down a large group of feathers, and she laughed from somewhere in the mass of fabric. "T-tickles!"

"Sorry," I said, snickering. "Are all pegasus pony wings this sensitive?"

"N-no!" With a grunt, she managed to free one wing from the dress, and she and I got to work removing the second wing, "Some of us aren't. I mean, are you ticklish everywhere?"

"Not particularly. That makes sense," I said with a nod, smoothing out a few feathers and tucking them through the dress. "What about Celestia?"

"What about—ouch! Pin!" she squealed, freezing.

"Where?" I asked, but spotted the offending snag of material that had bunched around the pin in question. I pulled the pin away from her shoulder.

Sapphire sighed in relief. "Thanks. Celestia? I... have no idea?"

I smirked, chuckling to myself. Sapphire froze in place, and I could her her snort. "Jake."

"What?" I asked as innocently as I could.

"No!" She stomped one hoof. "You are not going to tickle the Princess!"

Rarity laughed, "Honestly, Jake! She'll banish you to the sun in an instant!"

I laughed, shaking my head as I tucked Sapphire's wing through the hole and she slid out of the dress, sighing in relief. She shook herself, sending a flurry of fine coat hairs into the air, and spread open her wings. "Thank you."

We both turned to watch as Rarity moved the dress onto a mannequin. Rarity gave a nod as she finished. "There we are. I'll get to work on completing this tomorrow!"

Sapphire pranced in place, enjoying her freedom. "I'm so excited!"

Rarity turned, beaming at us. "Indeed! A toast!"

"A toast!" Sapphire said, holding one hoof up in a grandiose gesture and looking at me expectantly.

"Sure! More wine!" I said, laughing as I gathered the glasses together and poured a measure of wine into each.

Rarity held up the glass, looking at Sapphire and I. "To future beauty and present company."

Our glasses tapped together musically, and we drank. I sighed, smiling at Rarity. "So, what's next?"

Rarity giggled, giving me a playful shove with one hoof. "You are, darling!"

Ah. Yes. "Right. My turn."

Sapphire giggled, taking another long drink of her wine. "Hey, if I can manage it, so can you! Whoop!" As she gestured towards me, she tripped a little, but recovered, giggling and flapping her wings to keep her balance. "Oh, gosh. I've been sweating inside that dress too long."

I shook my head. "Do pegasus ponies have a fast metabolism?"

Sapphire nodded, "Yeah! How'd you know?"

I pointed at her dramatically, smirking as I did so. "You," I said, poking her on the nose, "are drunk."

"What? No!" Sapphire said, her eyes crossing as she tried to follow my finger as it poked her nose. "No, I only had... two glasses?"

"That's your third, I'm afraid," Rarity said gently. "I'm sorry, darling. Didn't you have dinner before coming over?"

Sapphire bit her lip. "No. I, ah, didn't have lunch either."

I raised an eyebrow at her, "What? Why?"

Rarity held up a hoof, frowning a bit. "Miss Sapphire, did you skip a meal to try and make yourself fit a smaller size before coming to see me?"

Sapphire covered her eyes with her hooves, slumping onto her haunches. "Oh gosh. Yes."

Rarity sighed, and trotted over to Sapphire. "That's terribly unhealthy, darling. You shouldn't do that to yourself. Not for anypony's sake!"

Sapphire sighed. "I know. I never do... I just was so nervous and so excited, and I started worrying..."

Rarity nodded. "I understand. I, too, have made poor choices for the sake of things like fashion and popularity. I've also learned that those choices are never worth it."

Sapphire giggled, uncovering her eyes. "Sounds like a friendship lesson to me."

Rarity stiffened up for a moment, so briefly that I barely noticed, before laughing, "Ah, yes! A good one to learn at any age."

"You'd know, wouldn't you? After all—" Sapphire began, but Rarity laughed a little louder, cutting her off.

"Indeed, I've seen my fair share of hardships. As a businessmare! In Canterlot!" Rarity said, wrapping one hoof around Sapphire and pulling her into a hug. "I'm so glad you understand, darling."

Sapphire blinked, looking confused. "Um?"

"Perhaps, darling, you should go and lie down? I have a very comfortable room upstairs, with a lovely four-post bed. You could rest, drink some water, recover a bit," Rarity said, holding Sapphire out at arm's length and nodding to her emphatically.

"Uh, sure. That actually sounds like a good idea. I'm not feeling super steady on my hooves, at the moment," Sapphire said, relenting in the face of Rarity's generosity.

"Excellent. I'll walk you upstairs. Jake, can you manage for a moment on your own?" Rarity said as she began to lead Sapphire out of the door. I could see the showroom beyond, the windows dark and no customers in sight.

"Sure. Thank you, Rarity," I said, giving her a nod.

"I won't be more than a moment, and then we shall get to work on your suit at once!" Rarity declared, sweeping Sapphire out the door and closing it behind her.

I raised an eyebrow, staring at the door for a moment. "What the heck was that about?" I muttered to myself, shaking my head.

After a quiet minute, I sighed, turning to look at the workroom. The place was a bit of a mess, with pieces of cloth and bolts of fabric strewn about. I started picking up a bit, cleaning and sorting the tools and fabrics. I stopped in front of a shelf that held an assortment of personal effects and peered at it curiously. A few perfume bottles, a brush and comb, and a picture in a frame. I picked up the photograph, examining it with interest. It was Rarity and another white-coated unicorn, a young filly with a curly purple and pink mane. They had ice cream smeared around their muzzles, and were smiling happily. I only noticed my hands shaking when I nearly dropped the picture, and I steadied myself quickly, putting the picture down and wiping at my eyes.

"Jake?" Rarity's voice called softly from the doorway.

I hadn't even noticed her come back. I turned, quickly pulling a grin onto my face and running my sleeve across my face, hoping that I didn't look like I'd nearly started crying. "Hey! How's Sapphire?"

"Lying down. I left her a glass of water and some snacks I happened to have lying around. Hopefully she'll feel better with a few moments to herself." Rarity said, her ears forward and her eyes locked on mine. Damn, she could tell something was wrong. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah. Must be the wine. I didn't have dinner, either," I said, winking. "Are you going to put me to bed, too?"

Rarity sniffed, smirking, "I'm afraid it is occupied. Plus, we have unfinished work to do!"

"Right!" I agreed, happy for the change in topic. "You've got my measurements. What do I need to do?"

"Well," Rarity said, eyeing my frame. "I've never really tailored for any creatures other than ponies or baby dragons. I must say, I'm rather excited! Stallionswear isn't necessarily my forte, as it tends to be a bit too simple for my taste, but I'm certain if we put our heads together, we can find something that will make you look simply smashing!"

I smiled. "That sounds great. I think I can help you with some basic stuff."

"Excellent! Come, sit." Rarity pulled two chairs over next to the drafting table and spread fresh parchment onto the surface.

I sat down next to her, keen to watch her work again. Her horn glowed with a blue aura, and her quill and inkwell floated over. She absently refilled our wineglasses as she worked. I drank, happy to have more; I was a bit nervous, after all. She was in her element, and I was a novice at best. She worked quickly, sketching a tall humanoid frame and adding some simple lines and bits of information as I spoke about suits and clothes from home. She rapidly got the gist of my descriptions, and began creating suits that matched my sensibilities, but had a flare that was all her own. She smiled, leaning back and eyeing several of the designs she'd created. "I find it very curious that your world has so many similarities to ours. Certain styles, clothing, things of that nature."

"It's really strange, isn't it? Even though we're very different, there's so many things that both humans and ponies seem to have created concurrently. I mean... ties? Who thinks a tie looks good on a pony? But, here we are, and lots of stallions wear ties. It's kind of weird, isn't it?" I agreed, my eyes roving over the designs with fascination. I didn't have so much as an artistic bone in my body.

"How so?" Rarity asked, leaning forward as her tail swished behind her.

"Well, it's sort of like... horses, back home, we tie ropes around them, to help lead them places, or to harness them to things. Like... bridles and bits and things," I glanced at Rarity as I spoke.

Rarity blushed, one hoof lifting up to cover an embarrassed smile. "A-ah. Yes. We have those here, too."

"Oh! Well, that makes sense, then. Funny, I've never seen anypony using those or wearing them around," I said.

"W-well, they are more... ah... intimate pieces of apparel," Rarity said, refilling her wine glass and taking a quick drink of it. "Things that one would wear... in the bedroom?"

"Oh. Oh!" I laughed, slapping my knee, "Bridles and bits are pony lingerie?"

Rarity giggled, nodding. "Precisely. Oh, certainly, there are some that are made to help ponies with things like pulling plows and other tools, but they're typically a very different design from what you're describing. There are a few equine cultures that use ornamental bridles as part of their fashion, too, but not here in Equestria."

I snorted, shaking my head. "Well, now I've heard everything. Pony lingerie! My perception of you tiny ponies has been ruined forever."

Rarity laughed, shoving my shoulder with one hoof. "Oh, come now. You wouldn't admit that if I had trotted down the stairs wearing a bridle, your reaction wouldn't have been more shocked than it was to me wearing nothing at all?"

I rolled my eyes, taking a sip of wine to give myself a moment to think. So she had noticed my surprise earlier. "Honestly? I probably wouldn't have thought anything of it. At least it's some clothes, right?"

Rarity threw back her head and laughed, nearly spilling her glass of wine as she almost lost control of her magic. Her sides heaved with mirth, and she wiped at her blue eyes. I laughed, too, just at the pure reaction that I'd gotten out of her, and how hilarious she found my reply. After a long minute of laughter that left Rarity gasping for air, she clung to my arm, breathing heavily. "Jake, you have a lot to learn about ponies!" She sniffed, dabbing at her cheeks with a tissue, and giggling breathily, "Honestly! 'At least it's some clothes'!"

I snickered. "Yes, yes. Make fun of the confused human. Eventually, I'm going to get this land of ponies figured out, and then I'll rule like a king. A king, I tell you!"

Rarity rolled her eyes, a giggling anew at my comment. "Oh, darling, you know that stallions are hopeless at running things. You'd do well to remember that!" She said, a touch of sarcasm dripping into her voice as she gave me a knowing wink.

I nodded, "Ah, this is true. I have forgotten that this is a mare's world, and we fine gentlemen are only so lucky to live in it."

Rarity giggled, reaching up and patting my cheek gently with one hoof. "And don't you forget it!" She said with a wink. Her hoof lingered on my face, and her eyes widened as she pressed a little more firmly into my skin. "Oh! Do human stallions grow beards and mustaches, too?"

I sat very still, a shiver running down my spine as she ran the soft frog of her hoof along my cheek, brushing it through the fine bristle of my five-o-clock shadow. Rarity noticed my expression. "Something the matter?"

"Ah... just," I swallowed, looking her in the eye. "You know how you don't really touch a mare on the flank?"

"Of course." Her eyes trailed to her own hoof brushing against my cheek.

"This is kind of like that," I said quietly.

Rarity froze, looking up at me, before pulling her hoof away. "Oh! I-I didn't even—"

I chuckled, one hand absently reaching up to brush across my cheek where she had just touched. "No, it's okay. You didn't know."

"W-well, ah," Rarity blushed and looked away from me. "It's very much a similar gesture here, too. I just... I was curious. I am so very sorry, Jake!"

I laughed, "It's fine. I mean, I honestly have to stop myself from reaching out and petting you sometimes."

Rarity giggled at that, looking back over at me. "This deserves an explanation."

"There is something inherently adorable about you ponies. I hope this isn't insulting, but... it's like, my brain sees you, and I want to feed you an apple and take you home," I said, shrugging.

Rarity laughed a little harder than I expected at my assertion, and after a moment she was leaning against me again, "Oh, goodness! I have a friend that would probably love to hear that!"

"What, is she a fan of apples?" I asked, smirking.

Rarity laughed uproariously, all sense of decorum simply gone as she buried her face in my shoulder and clung to me for dear life. "Goddess! Th-that is the understatement of the year, darling! Her name is Applejack. She has apples for a cutie mark, and lives on an apple farm!"

I laughed. I didn't think it was that funny, but Rarity also was a few glasses of wine deeper than I was. "No kidding? That probably takes the cake for the cutest thing I've heard out of you ponies, yet."

Rarity snickered, resting her head on my shoulder and catching her breath. "Yes. We must seem so very strange to you. Little ponies, living in castles and farming apples."

"I kind of love it, actually," I said simply. "There's an... authenticity to everybody that I've met here, that I find a lot of the people from my world don't have. Maybe it's because you all have little marks on your butts that tell you your destiny, but... it's refreshing. You're all so... human."

Rarity hummed appreciatively, scooting her chair closer to mine. "That is very kind of you to say, darling."

"I mean it. Even the nobles, for all their fake smiles... It was actually kind of a relief to see that not everypony here was perfect like Celestia and Twilight... or you."

Rarity's tail swished, and she looked up at me, her chin resting on my shoulder. "Goodness," she said quietly, "comparing a simple pony like me to the Princesses?"

I nodded. "You're just as kind and generous as they have been with me. Maybe more. I can trust that you aren't acting as an ambassador or head of state... You're just a good pony."

Rarity was quiet, then, a hint of a smile playing across her face and her eyes lidded as she leaned forward a bit. I was suddenly keenly aware of the proximity we'd achieved. She was warm against me, and the scent of lilac invaded my senses. I found that my heart was racing and a blush was rising to my cheeks. Rarity did not move, though she surely noticed my expression. She giggled, suddenly, breaking the silence. "Jake?" she asked, biting her lip.

"Yes?" I managed to say.

"Are we going to kiss, or are you going to sit there looking flustered?" she asked simply.

I took her in, then. Blue eyes, beautiful, almost matching the color of the diamonds of her cutie mark. Her purple mane, flowing in ringlets that had grown a bit messy as she had worked, but in a way that only enhanced her appearance. Lips, full, a playful smirk playing across them. Coat, white, silky and soft looking. Ears forward. Tail swishing behind her back. She was nervous, too. Of course she was.

I sighed and reached a hand up, brushing my fingers through her mane. She leaned a little bit into the gesture, and I could feel her shiver. "I can't," I said, quietly.

Rarity nodded slowly, exhaling a shaky breath. "May I ask why?"

I was quiet, considering my answer. I chose honesty. "We're so similar... in so many ways. And you are amazing, Rarity, and I would be lying if I told you I didn't consider giving you what you wanted..."

"But you didn't want it, too?" Rarity asked.

"No." I frowned. "Yes?" I chuckled, shaking my head. "Am I allowed to say that I have very complicated feelings towards kissing somebody that barely knows anything about me, much less of a different species?"

Rarity giggled. "That's fair. But I think I have a good measure of you, Jake."

I laughed at that, shaking my head and reaching up to wipe at my forehead with my sleeve. "You don't, really. You're seeing what I want you to see."

"What do you want me to see?" Rarity asked, curious.

"A good person," I said, leaning away from her a little bit. Rarity noticed and shifted herself back into her seat, giving me my space, which I was grateful for. I exhaled, slowly. "Somebody that I'm not."

"So, tell me who you really are, then," Rarity said, as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

I frowned. "I don't want to... but I think I owe you at least the courtesy of an explanation. You've been a good friend, a good host, and you've put your... your heart out there for me to break. I didn't deserve any of that, not just for taking you away from some stupid nobles that can't see a good mare sitting across from them."

Rarity laughed at that, her ears flattening back. "You've done more than that for me, darling, but I can understand how you would think that."

I nodded. "Sure. And, maybe after I'm done telling you about myself, you can tell me how I'm wrong."

"Certainly. I must admit, you have been something of an enigma. The mystery novel lover inside of me is positively jumping for joy at revealing a bit of your past!" She giggled, trying to break the tension that I was feeling.

I laughed, sitting up a bit more in my seat and planting my feet firmly, grounding myself to try and dissipate some of my nerves. "Yeah... well..."

Rarity leaned in. I swallowed, and spoke. "Before I came here, I was a criminal."

Rarity's eyes widened, "Oh?"

"Yeah. Not... not like some Robin H—er... not some dashing 'rob from the rich, give to the poor' type. And I wasn't just stealing loaves of bread to feed my family or something," I said, trying to find a way to help her understand. "I worked for a crime family... I don't know if you have those here. Like, an organization of criminals that work together to do things?"

"Ah. Like a mob?" Rarity said.

"Oh." Well, that certainly simplified things. "Yeah, that's exactly it. Where I grew up, you... didn't have a destiny that got laid out before you. The only people that got ahead were the ones that got lucky enough to leave, or they hustled every day to get by... or they joined a gang.

"Where I grew up, it was a huge city. I think you guys have ones like it. Manehattan seems pretty close, judging by the pictures I've seen. Well, I didn't live in the nice part of the city. We lived where we could afford to be, and that wasn't a good place. There weren't a lot of honest jobs... or, well, there were, but they didn't pay much, and they made you work. Flipping burgers is an honest living, but if you wanted more, it didn't seem like the way to go. I had a big family, two brothers and a sister, and my older brother quit school to work to help our mom. Our dad wasn't around. Our mom did the best she could, but... I wasn't as grateful as I should have been. My brother gave up everything to make ends meet, and I swore I wouldn't do what he'd done. I saw my friends get jumped in... ah, that is, join a gang, and they had money. Not enough to live big, but they could live bigger than the rest of us. They talked about how it was family, and having people's backs... and it sounded good. They walked tall. They changed, and I thought it was a good thing.

"So, I followed them. I was fifteen, and they gave me packages to carry in my backpack. I was a white-looking kid, I dressed clean, so cops didn't stop me often because they were racist pricks, and I could move things around for my friends. Illegal things. Drugs, weapons, whatever they needed. And they paid me really well. Not so much that I could walk away, but enough to keep me coming back and looking for more. And I did... again and again. It stopped being about wanting to help, and it started being about wanting to belong... and they told me that I was one of them. That I had a place. It felt good. Really, really good. And one day, a guy stopped me in the street and pointed a gun... a weapon... at me, and told me to drop my backpack and keep walking. A rival gang member. They'd moved nearby..."

I swallowed. "My friends gave me a weapon, and they told me to make it right. So I did. I found that guy, and I got my backpack back, and I left him lying in the street. He probably was only a year older than me.

"After that, there... there was no turning back. I took on more jobs. Got into more trouble. Saw friends die. Ended up having to leave town after things got complicated. My family... my brother and mom, they knew, and they were so mad... they didn't understand. So I walked away. I had contacts, I knew people, so I got set up somewhere new. A different group, but they needed my skills and they didn't care what kind of person I was. I was good at this, and it was all I knew how to do. I was smart. I read books. I could do math, calculate weights, figure out prices and costs. I was fast, and strong, and mean. I made my job survival... and I was good at it. I was twenty, and I walked around with a weapon and thought I knew everything. I moved often, because my choices inevitably caught up with me... and so I kept running, and changing... and at some point I left my country, and started working for the really big names. The ones that we only whispered about when I was young. They were like gods... but they weren't.

"At some point, something inside me realized that I'd traded a real family for a fake one... I'd left behind people that worked hard and lived honest lives in favor of people that lived like kings and trusted no-one. I tried to..." I stopped, reaching up and wiping at my eyes. Rarity laid a hoof on my shoulder.

"I tried to lie to myself... I started drinking... spending my money on drugs to make my life feel like I thought it should. I'd always thought that the marks we worked were weak. People that turned to our product because they couldn't handle reality... but they weren't weak. They were desperate..."

I exhaled. "I was working a job when I was caught in that spell and brought to Equestria. They had to keep me away from everyone for a few weeks, early on, because I was sick from not having the drugs. I thought I had lost my mind. Celestia used some kind of magic on me to help me recover... and it took me nearly a month to really get grounded in this new place and realize that I had a second chance to be somebody... better.

"Celestia knew I needed a purpose... that I wasn't somebody that would just accept charity. I'd worked all my life, been independent for most of it, and I needed a place... so she started employing me to work as a scribe. Critical thinking was a strong suit in my line of work... so I took it. It wasn't... exciting, but I'd done exciting... I was ready for honest work." I reached out for my wine glass and frowned, recognizing an old impulse that suddenly left me feeling dirty. "So... that's me."

Rarity leaned over, her forelegs wrapping around me, and she pulled me to her, into a gentle hug. I accepted it. I needed it. I buried my face in her neck, lilac filling my nose. Her coat was so soft, and it was as comforting as I'd remembered Celestia's own coat was on the day I'd told her about my life. I breathed her scent in, and spoke. "How... why are all of you ponies so good to me?"

"Hush. We are just as flawed as you are. It may be that we have not had similar experiences... but haven't we all struggled? Fought adversity? Failed and fallen?"

I nodded, unable to speak, just holding her close. She chuckled, a gentle thing. "The difference between you and I, Jake, is that I was lucky enough to have friends around me to pick me up and put me back on the right path."

"How am I so lucky, to find friends like you here?" I asked.

Rarity leaned down, then, and gave me a chaste kiss on the forehead. "We're both very lucky to have found each other, I'd say."

"Eeeeeeeeee!"

We both froze, and slowly looked up. Sapphire was standing at the door, her wings open and a blissful, blushing look across her face. Her face reddened even further, and she shied away from our looks. "Sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt!"

I squeezed my eyes shut and tightened my grip on Rarity for a moment, and then let her go, a wry smile finding its way to my face. "Damn, Sapphire. You have the worst timing."

Sapphire laughed, covering her blushing face with both hooves as she sat back on her haunches. "I'm sorry! Just... Jake! You scoundrel! You... you... smooth motherbucker!"

Rarity laughed, casting me a look, and I gave her a subtle nod. She winked at me, understanding, and fanned her face with one hoof as she pushed me away, scooting back in her seat. "Goodness. Sapphire, you should have warned me that your friend was such a charmer."

"I knew it!" Sapphire crowed, prancing up onto her hooves and pointing an accusatory hoof at me. "I called it! You told me that I was wrong, but who was right? Who was right, Jake?"

I sighed. "You were."

"You're Celestia-damned right!" Sapphire leapt into the air and did a somersault, flapping her wings and landing gracefully on her hooves before finding some measure of composure. "So?" she said, looking between both of us.

"So... what?" I asked her. "What, you want us to start making out, just for you? God, Rarity was totally right, you do want to watch!"

Sapphire rolled her eyes as Rarity began to giggle. "No, idiot," Sapphire said, "I'm just... ugh. Never mind. I'm so jealous I'm losing my mind, but I'm so happy, too? Can you just let me be emotional and happy for my friend?"

Rarity laughed, "Goodness. You seem more conflicted than Jake was earlier!"

Sapphire raised an eyebrow at that. "Conflicted?"

I nodded solemnly. "Yeah. A guy can get performance anxiety, can't he?"

Sapphire and Rarity were quiet for a moment, before they both started laughing. I joined in, standing up and walking over to Sapphire, and I finally poked her on the nose. "Nothing happened, silly pony."

Sapphire stared up at me, gauging my sincerity, and her ears drooped. "... Seriously?"

"Yeah. We were just talking, and the topic got a bit emotional, and Rarity was being... a friend. A really, really good friend."

Rarity smiled at me from her seat. "It's true, I'm afraid. There was a moment, perhaps... but not the right one. Not tonight."

I looked at her, considering her words, hearing the hope in them. "Maybe there'll be another moment. A better one," I said, and I realized that I meant it.

Sapphire stared between Rarity and I, and then looked up at me. "You're okay?"

"Yeah," I said, giving her a grateful nod.

"And... you're okay, Miss Rarity?" Sapphire asked her.

"Fantastic. Perhaps I've had a bit too much wine, but haven't we all?" Rarity said with a confident wink.

Sapphire blew out a long sigh. "So... are we working on dresses, or suits, or whatever?"

"I think," Rarity said, "that it has been a busy evening, and you two have a long walk back to the castle. Perhaps we shall reconvene another day, when I have a few finished pieces to show you?"

"Or maybe some coffee, soon, if that doesn't happen right away?" I asked, hopefully.

Rarity smiled at me. "That would be lovely, too."

Sapphire smiled. "That sounds like a great idea. Coffee with two of the finest looking mares in Canterlot? Jake, you scoundrel, you are just rolling in it!"

I reached down and ruffled Sapphire's mane, rolling my eyes. "Yeah, sure, in your dreams."

She scowled, shaking her head and trying to fix her mane. "Ugh!"

Rarity giggled. "Very well. I have some clean-up to do, and a few more drafts to complete on your suits. I trust that you can see yourselves out?"

I smiled at her, walking over to her side. "Of course."

She stepped up on her hind legs and gave me another hug. "Excellent."

"Thank you," I whispered in her ear. I took her hoof as I stepped away, and helped her back onto all fours.

Rarity giggled. "Such a gentleman."

Sapphire trotted over and threw her arms around Rarity's neck in a boisterous hug. "You're the best, Rarity. I've had such an amazing day, and you made me feel like a mare."

I couldn't help it. "Wow. What the heck happened upstairs when you two left?"

Rarity's tail swished, and she grinned a wicked grin at me. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Sapphire giggled and pranced away, heading for the door. "C'mon, Jake."

"Yes, ma'am," I said, rolling my eyes and grinning at Rarity.

Rarity smiled up at me. "See you soon?"

"Yes, please," I said with a wink, and I followed Sapphire out of the boutique.

3: Man Cannot Live On The Night Shift Alone

View Online

My lips curled back in a snarl as I slammed a fresh magazine home in my UMP, clutching the foregrip with white knuckles. I blew out a quick breath and wiped the back of my gloved hand across my safety glasses, wiping away some debris that clung stubbornly to the lenses. The street outside was filled with the sound of fleeing civilians as I crouched and moved past the shattered windows, hearing gunfire from the room opposite as other members of the group outside attacked. Straining to hear any noise, my ears still ringing from the gunfire, I barely heard the crunch of a boots on broken glass as somebody outside moved towards the window. I turned to face the window, stock at my shoulder and my eyes focused on the ledge, and I stood up, my finger depressing the trigger as I came up. The UMP rocked in my hand, fully automatic. My first round impacted the windowsill, the second hit the man on the other side of the wall square in the chest, as did the third, fourth, fifth, sixth... traversing my aim upward as I gained my feet, leaning forward into the recoil of the gun and keeping it steady. The man had a vest on, but I shifted my aim up as I fired, tracing a line from his chest to his neck and face. He collapsed, dead on his feet.

I ignored the gory sight, my eyes searching past the downed enforcer and towards the street. Two more men, peeking from corners, their guns coming up. A rifle of some kind, and a pistol. I dropped down, away from the window, and moved to the door into the next room. I kept my UMP shouldered, knowing I had about half a magazine left. I switched the firing mode to three-round burst, and I nudged the door open with my hip, my eyes trained on the hallway beyond. Someone moving, and it wasn’t my partner. My eyes had time to take in blue and black colors before my fingers squeezed the trigger. The UMP barked out three rounds, the noise making my ears ring in the tight confines of the hallway. Impacts, a surprised shout, and the figure recoiled. I blinked, fully taking in my target. Princess Luna had one hoof to her chest, her eyes wide, surprised. “What was that!?”

My eyes widened, and I lowered the UMP, staring. “Princess Luna?!”

“You... hit me with something?” Luna blinked, staring at the weapon in my hands.

I moved to her, one hand stretching out and touching her chest, right where I had shot. Miraculously, she was unharmed. I pushed her into a doorway quickly, checking behind me before following her into the interior room. “Stay here. It’s not safe,” I hissed.

Luna frowned, “Jake, you need to calm down.”

“Are you kidding?! We’ve got god-knows how many assholes out there, ready to shoot us dead! Rodriguez said that it was going to be a tricky hand-off, but he didn’t say anything about Nuestras.” I took the opportunity to switch out my mostly-depleted mag for a fresh one. I had one left. Hopefully Ryan had things handled on his side of the building.

Luna stared at me quietly for a moment, and then she nodded. “Very well. You must see this though, obviously. Face your fears.”

I grimaced, peering around the corner and back into the hallway. I needed to get out of this house and flank these guys, but the men outside were likely waiting for me at the exits... the obvious ones. Cast one last look at Luna. “These guys are dangerous. If I don’t come back in a few minutes, you need to get out of here.”

Luna smiled. “I am not worried.”

I suppressed a snort. “Glad one of us isn’t.” With that, I moved into the hallway, turning the corner and finding the ladder to the roof in the little closet that hid it. I climbed up, carefully pushing the trap door open and peeking out onto the flat roof. Nobody was up there, so I crawled out, keeping on my belly.

I slithered across the roof, the sun beating down on me from above. I was sweating already, and it got worse, my eyes stinging. I lay still, listening carefully, allowing my eyes to adjust to the bright light, and then I peeked over the lip of the roof, looking towards the corners where I’d last seen the two men with guns. Down below me, I could hear Ryan curse and his gun fire, and a few shots from somewhere else impact the house. I ignored the noise, focusing on spotting my two attackers. The one with the long rifle was still there. It looked like some kind of military rifle, maybe an M16 or a M416, but I wasn’t interested in getting a close look. The other one with the pistol was gone, probably watching one of the other sides of the house. I swallowed hard and crawled around to change my vantage point, peeking over the roof on the other side.

As I’d guessed, he was there, watching the other side of the building. That left me with very few options for flanking, but surprise was my ally, now. They were both staring at the windows and doors, not the roof. I shifted myself up onto my elbows, adjusting my grip on my gun and taking aim, and I pulled the trigger once. Three shots spat from my gun, and three bullets hit the man with the pistol. He dropped to the ground, out of sight. I rolled back away from the lip of the building, and a few seconds later bullets spattered the edge where I’d been lying. The man with the rifle was angry, and he was watching the roof, now. One down, who knew how many to go. I crawled back to the trapdoor and climbed back into the building. I checked on Ryan, next.

Ryan was holed up in his room, his own UMP held in both hands. He shot me a grimace. “Stay back, they’re watching the windows.”

“Fuckin’ Nuestras? Rod didn’t say a damn thing about them being in the area.”

“Rod’s un idiota emorme. We should have known better,” Ryan said, his head tilting towards the nearest shattered window.

“They picked a shitty place to decide to put on their big boy pants and act hard. But they’re learning. Well, two of ‘em won’t be,” I said grimly.

“Three of ‘em,” Ryan noted, pointing towards the front door. I noticed the bullet holes that filled it, letting light through. “Dumbass walked up to the door like it was cover.”

“Amateur. There’s one with a rifle on my side, but he’s alone now, far as I can tell.”

“Interesting. Is this a friend of yours?” Princess Luna’s voice came from close in my ear.

I turned, glaring at her. “Not a good time. Get back into that room.”

“I assure you, I am fine. I am more curious about this man,” Luna said, gesturing to Ryan.

Ryan ignored Luna. I frowned, noting the actual lack of reaction to having a blue, winged unicorn walk into the room. Luna ignored my confusion, walking to peer up at Ryan. “He seems... troubled.”

“Yeah, we’re all a little troubled right now,” I said, gritting my teeth with exasperation. “Would you get down? You’re going to get shot.”

“I am merely an observer,” Luna commented, poking at Ryan’s UMP with one hoof.

Ryan stepped forward, and he walked directly through Luna, his entire body wavering like he was made of smoke. I blinked, rubbing at my eyes. What the hell? “What is this?”

“Here they come!” Ryan shouted, shouldering his UMP and firing into the street.

I stepped away, shouldering my own weapon as I walked quickly back down the hall to my side of the building. I trusted Ryan to do his job on his side, and I needed to cover my side, now. The man with the rifle was approaching, his gun up, cautious. As soon as he saw me, he fired, and I shot at the same time. Bullets spattered the side of the building and the interior walls, and my controlled bursts took the man in the chest. He fell onto his back in the street. I watched, quiet, checking to see if any more people came, but none did. I walked to the back door and cautiously opened it. I could hear Ryan laughing in the background, relief obvious in his tone. I knew we were in the clear, but my heart was pounding. Something was wrong. The man in the street stirred, moaning.

“Jake.”

I froze.

“Jake, please.”

I moved closer, my UMP dropping from fingers that no longer had strength. I knew that voice.

“Jake, it hurts.”

I knelt in the street, my hands going to the crimson-stained shirt, my palms pressing hard, trying to stem the flow. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He was the smart one. He was the good one. Why would he be here? Why would he have a gun? “Jake,” Marcus gasped, blood flecking his lips. “Why’d you leave us, Jake?”

“I had to,” I said helplessly.

“Y-you... left us.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. Tears in my eyes, blurring my vision. A hoof, strong and steadfast, touched my shoulder. My hands shook with the effort of pressing, stemming the blood that spilled from my brother’s chest... my blood’s blood, filling the street, an ocean of red that lapped at my knees and covered my hands.

“Awake,” Luna breathed in my ear.

I sat bolt-upright in my bed, my hand going underneath my pillow, reaching for a pistol that was not there. My fingers scrabbled at nothing, my breath coming in gasps. A hoof pressed into my bare chest. “Calm yourself.”

I reached up, grabbing the hoof, holding onto it for a moment, blinking rapidly as I panted. My eyes fixated on the silver-shod hoof, following the deep blue foreleg up to luminous blue eyes and a starry mane. Concern made the lips of the pony in front of me turn down, and I realized that I was holding onto Princess Luna. I released her hoof, leaning away from her and taking a deep, shaky breath. “Sorry.”

“You had a nightmare,” she said simply, lowering her hoof.

“I wasn’t... aware that you worked during the day. I thought you’d be asleep.”

“It was close enough to the evening-time. Celestia is about to lower the sun, and it is the hour of my duty,” Luna explained, still looking troubled.

My eyes widened, looking out the nearest window. The sun was setting as I looked, a slow and stately dive towards the far horizon. I reached for my alarm clock. “Did I—?”

The alarm began to blare just as my fingers touched it, and I sighed with relief. I hadn’t overslept. “Sorry, I was worried I was late.”

“You are not. You have an hour,” Luna said, her eyes closing and her wings spreading open. I watched with interest as her deep blue magic suffused her horn, and then flowed around her body briefly like an aura, before dissipating. I knew without looking that the moon had begun to rise.

I wiped the sweat off of my forehead with my sheet and sighed, leaning back onto my pillow as my heart rate finally began to approach normal. Luna stared at me with interest. “My sister never spoke much about what you used to do before you came to Equestria. I surmise that you were some type of... mercenary?”

I swallowed. “Yeah, that about covers it.”

“It is a difficult life. Dangerous. We haven’t had need of mercenary companies for hundreds of years in Equestria, though a few individuals still appear from time to time, selling their services to the rich or criminal,” Luna said, her eyes gaining a faraway look briefly before turning to observe me once more. “I presume your world is far less... hospitable than ours.”

“You could definitely say that. We humans did a lot of amazing things... but you needed to be noble or rich or lucky to get access to it. I was none of those things, so I had a tough life,” I said, pulling my knees up to give Luna room.

“Interesting. So, you turned to selling yourself as a weapon?” Luna asked.

I exhaled slowly, sitting up more as I realized this wasn’t about to be a quick discussion. “Yes. My family was broken, and my mom did what she could, but I wanted more. I wanted belonging... and that’s how it started. It ended like you saw. Blood in the streets, fighting for my life to make money. I was paid enough to be comfortable, but never enough to be happy.”

“That’s why you were addicted to some drug or other when you arrived in Equestria,” Luna said, seeming to answer an unasked question she’d had, nodding slowly. “This explains much. Your dreams were always troubling ones. Violent, full of longing.”

I didn’t have a reply. It was true, and I didn’t have anything to say that would change that fact. “I know that what you saw... what you’ve seen, it’s not exactly the Equestrian ideal—”

Luna chuckled, her eyes meeting mine. “Oh, do not be so sure. Certainly in this day and age, but a thousand years ago we would have found a great many uses for somebody with your skill set.”

I persisted, “But, I promise, I don’t want that anymore. I know how much it messed me up. Not just the drugs, but the everything. All I had to look forward to was a day where my skill set would fail me, and I would be dead in the street. I,” I swallowed hard, leaning forward, “I was either going to get killed, or kill myself with the drugs. There weren’t other options. Men like me don’t get to retire.”

I looked out towards the darkening sky, taking in the beauty. “This was a chance at a new life that I never earned or asked for. Frankly, I don’t deserve it... but you and your sister granted it to me anyway.” I turned to look at Luna, trying desperately to express how I felt. “I’ve said it before, but I owe you my life.”

Luna frowned, waving a hoof. “You owe us nothing, but I understand your feelings and I hear you. I am grateful to know that you have an appreciation for the gift that has been given to you.” She smiled, “Your dreams are often different, nowadays.”

I blinked, uncomprehending. She said gently, “Your sleeping mind often turns to Lady Rarity. She is obviously a source of inspiration and peace for you.”

I blushed. Oh. “Y-yeah. She’s incredible.”

Luna shot me a coy look, before shifting off my bed and shaking herself. “I will see you at my court within the hour, Jake.”

“Thank you, Princess Luna.”

“I am only doing my duty,” she said, smiling as she left.

I waited until she was gone before flopping back into bed, groaning. I slowly raised my hands up, looking at my shaking fingers, and I clenched them closed. That dream had been one of the most vivid ones I’d had in days, and it had shaken me. I often thought of my family, but I hadn’t dreamed about them since before coming to Equestria. It had been a disturbing sensation, feeling my brother’s blood seep between my fingers, but the trauma faded as the dream became muddled and my brain awakened itself further. I sat up again, sighing and running a hand through my hair. I needed to shower and get dressed for work.

Tonight was a night shift.

I stepped out of my room, straightening my shirt and brushing some errant lint off of my front. My night guard, a bat pony stallion by the name of Dusky Roads, gave me a nod. He was dark grey, like all of the night guards, thanks to the magic of his armor giving him and his companions a uniform coat color just like their sister units in the daytime guard. He was tall, though, and well muscled, his legs thick and body stocky, with dark bat-like wings folded at his sides. “Evening's blessings, Jake.” The bat pony had a deep voice, one that rumbled out of him like a thunder storm. He was undoubtedly the most bad-ass of all my assigned guards.

“Yeah, thanks. Same to you,” I murmured, my mind still elsewhere.

Dusky shifted, his violet eyes roaming over me. “You look troubled, for one that was visited by H’luun.”

I noticed the strange sounding word, glancing up at Dusky. He looked slightly embarrassed by my sudden scrutiny, his gaze shifting away. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard him say a strange word or two, but I’d never asked about it. Tonight, however, a distraction was welcome. “What’s Hloon?” I said, doing my best to pronounce the strange word.

Dusky looked down, his fuzzy ears flattening back. “Apologies. I meant Princess Luna.”

“I kind of figured, but you definitely said something else,” I said, walking slowly down the hall. Dusky followed at my side.

“Indeed. It was a slip of the tongue. I apologize,” Dusky said, his eyes going forward.

I frowned, and spoke again. “You know, one of the few good things from my old life were the languages I’d learned.”

Dusky’s eyes stayed forward, but one ear cocked towards me. He sounded neutral as he spoke. “You have an interest in language?”

“Yeah. One of the reasons I was asked after a lot in my old life was because I spoke a lot of the local languages where I worked.”

Dusky was only dimly aware of what I did, at least as far as I knew. Perhaps he’d been briefed on my old life and old skill set, but his attitude was always professional, so he revealed very little. This was as close as I’d gotten to actually having a conversation beyond niceties and work with Dusky. He was still silent, obviously considering what I’d said. I allowed him the room to think, before I spoke again. “I speak three languages, and about four dialects of one of them... depending on where I was working, the local dialect was different enough that you needed to know new words.”

Dusky glanced up at me. “That is very interesting. Your world has many languages?”

“Lots. More than I know. Each country often had their own language or dialect. There were about... six major languages spoken? There were lots more than than six, but a lot of people spoke those, so you could go pretty much anywhere and find somebody that knew one of those.”

Dusky nodded, “Fascinating. What were these languages like?”

I realized that Dusky had changed the subject, and I smirked. “Useless, now. I’d love to hear more of yours, though. Is it some kind of... bat pony language?”

Dusky nearly tripped, his eyes going wide, and he cleared his throat as his ears went flat. He stopped in his tracks, looking up at me with a serious face. “Jake.”

I stopped, realizing I’d said something upsetting. “What? What’d I say?”

“We are sarosians. Bat pony is like calling an earth pony a... mud pony. It is not kind, even if it is somewhat true,” Dusky said, not sounding angry.

“Oh... oh, shit, I’m sorry. I had no idea. I’ve just heard other ponies call you guys bat-ponies, so I just assumed it was an accepted term,” I said, shaking my head.

“It is an accepted term... but just because it is accepted does not make it correct,” Dusky stated evenly.

I blinked. What? Was this some kind of weird racial thing I’d accidentally stumbled into? “Damn,” I muttered, “I thought this place was way past stuff like that.”

Dusky smirked, “What? Racism?”

I chuckled, “Yeah. You ponies are all so chill and good. It’s hard to imagine you guys being anything other than... harmonic.”

Dusky chuckled too. “That is very kind of you to think, but every culture has its problems. We sarosians are a recent addition to Equestria at large, returning to the herd when Princess Luna was freed from the... the curse.”

I blinked. “Oh. Wow. So, you guys are sort of new, too?”

“We lived away from Equestria. It was with Princess Luna’s return that we were brought back to our homeland,” Dusky explained.

“And that language you speak... is sarosian?” I asked, bringing the conversation back.

Dusky smiled. “Yes.”

I grinned back at him. “Neat,” I said, moving again.

“Indeed. It is an old language. Very few of our people speak it in public, wishing to better integrate again with Equestrian sensibilities.”

“You obviously speak it,” I said.

“Yes. I am somewhat old-fashioned. I do not believe we should hide our culture.”

I nodded, “Yeah. You do you, man. Don’t be afraid to speak your language around me, even if I can’t understand. I’d love to learn, or even just pick up a word or two.”

Dusky smiled at me, seeming pleased. “Thank you, Jake.” With that, he pushed open the doors we had just arrived at, revealing the Court of the Night.

Luna and Celestia held court in the same room, but with a bit of their own touches. Luna’s Court was filled with curtained areas and places for ponies to lie down. Cushions and couches were placed around the room, and petitioners often would register to see the princess and then retreat to a quiet place to sleep or rest. Coffee and snacks were often served as well. The atmosphere was far more subdued and quiet than the business-like bustle of the day court.

Luna sat upon the throne of Canterlot, her eyes closed and horn alight. Between petitioners, she often delved into the realm of dreams, projecting herself into that astral place. The night court was far less populated than the day court, a few bat-pon—sarosian guards flanking Princess Luna on the throne, and the room catered by one or two members of the castle’s night staff.

Ordinarily, Princess Luna’s sarosian majordomo, Squeaky Clean, would be overseeing the petitioners as they arrived, but he had come down with some nasty flu, so I had been covering for him for a few nights, acting as majordomo in his stead. The night staff, two sarosian maids and a butler, approached me as I arrived. “Evening, Jake! How are you?” squeaked one of the maids, smiling a fanged smile at me.

“I’m good, thank you, Rose Hips. Is everything ready to rock?” I asked, smiling at the petite mare.

“Absolutely!” She said, trotting to the drink station and gesturing to the variety of tea, coffee, and other beverages they had prepared to serve petitioners.

I gave the rest of the staff a nod. “I trust you guys. Princess?” I approached Luna, casting her a smile.

Luna nodded. “I am ready... to rock?”

I chuckled, “Great.” I sat down at the base of the raised dais, where a low desk had been set out with writing implements and paper. I checked that I was ready, making sure that the ink in my inkwell was flowing and my quill was working properly, before giving a nod to Dusky. “I’m ready. By your leave, Highness.”

Luna smiled at me. She appreciated the courtly mannerisms a bit more than her sister did, but she was archaic in a lot of ways. Being gone from society for a thousand years made for some interesting mannerisms, and I had never had a night shift where I didn’t discover some new thing that Princess Luna did differently than her sister. Luckily, I had a few tomes of Equestrian law stacked beside me, so if there needed to be any corrections made, I was prepared. Squeaky Clean had left lots of little bookmarks and notes to help me along. Luna raised a hoof, her voice echoing through the hall. “Let the court be opened!” she declared.

Dusky and another guard at the front of the hall opened the doors. It was quiet in the hall beyond, and two ponies filed into the room. The guards stared ahead, at attention, faces impassive. I dipped my quill into the inkwell and put on my professional demeanor. The first pony, a pegasus, stepped up to see me. “Evening. Name?” I asked.

“Quirky Smirk,” he responded.

I couldn’t help but glance up, taking in the bright yellow pegasus stallion with a white mane and a smiling pony cutie mark. He gave me a grin and a wink. I held in a smile of my own. This was court, it was part of my job to be professional. “Reason for visit?”

“Relationship advice,” Quirky responded.

That was sure to be an interesting conversation. I penned it down, and nodded. “Have a seat. One of the staff will let you know when the princess is ready.” There was a bit of a routine to go through, here. Even though Quirky Smirk was first on the list, Luna made a point of making even the first petitioner wait for a few minutes. Even when she was in service, she felt it was a good test to make petitioners wait. Anyone that complained was kicked out.

Quirky nodded and headed for a couch, plopping down on it casually. I looked down at my parchment once more as the second pony stepped up. “Name?”

“Solar Shuffle.” A soft, feminine voice. I looked up, taking in the dark green sarosian mare with a black mane.

“Reason for visit?”

“I... guess I have a problem with my family?” she said.

I wrote down ‘family issue’ and nodded. “Have a seat. One of the staff will let you know when the princess is ready.”

She nodded, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” I muttered back as she trotted over to the far wall and looked about uncertainly. I gestured to Rose Hips, who trotted happily over to the sarosian mare and offered her a few drinks.

Solar Shuffle seemed to relax a bit, thanks to Rose’s friendly demeanor, and she found a pile of pillows to recline on while she sipped some tea. Princess Luna’s eyes were closed, and her horn was glowing, letting us know that she was projecting her astral body into a dream. After a few minutes, the glow of her horn subsided, and her eyes opened. Her wings shifted and her ears perked forward, and she called out, “I will see the first petitioner.”

Rose retrieved Quirky Smirk from his couch and brought him before Princess Luna. Luna peered down at the yellow pegasus, her eyes searching. He bowed low before her, and she waved a hoof. “Welcome once more to my court, Quirky Smirk.”

“Thank you, Princess Luna,” Quirky said, holding his bow. This obviously wasn’t his first rodeo.

Luna smiled a small, appreciative smile. “Rise. Tell me your troubles.”

Quirky stood from his bow, taking a deep breath. “I found a really nice mare, highness. She’s a great gal, everything you could ask for. But, well... she knows me as a joker. The guy that’s always around making everypony laugh. I asked her out the other day, and she thought I was being funny! I mean, part of my talent is making ponies laugh, but every time I try to be serious, she just laughs!”

Luna stared at Quirky evenly for a moment, before smirking. “Have you asked her how she feels about you?”

“Yeah! She says I’m a great guy, really funny, and that I’m a good friend,” Quirky said, stomping one hoof.

I did my best not to roll my eyes. I’d heard this song and dance before. Luna obviously had as well. “I think, Quirky, that you are being let down gently. Your friend obviously values you as a companion, but if she calls you friend when you seek more, perhaps that is all she wants?”

Quirky blinked, staring up at Luna for a moment, before he frowned. “Oh. Oh, like... she doesn’t want to be mean, but she doesn’t want to be my marefriend, either? So she’s sayin’ no without sayin’ no?”

Luna nodded. “Indeed. Perhaps seeking a different mare would benefit you.”

Quirky sighed. “Y-yeah. I suppose so.” He bowed once more, smiling, “Thank you, Princess Luna.”

Luna nodded to him, and he trotted out. Luna glanced down at me from her high position and smiled, shrugging. I shook my head and smiled back. Easy enough. I noted down the interaction and that Quirky’s petition had been satisfied. Luna stood and stretched her wings, before walking down from the dais to stand next to me. She smiled. “Evening’s blessings, Jake.”

“Thank you, Princess,” I said, finishing my notes as I spoke.

“How are you feeling?” Luna asked, peering at me carefully.

I shrugged, sitting back and stretching. “Good. I could use some—” as my mouth prepared to say ‘coffee’, Rose Hips was there, a mug in hoof, and she set it down in front of me with a wink and a fanged grin, before she was gone once more. “... I’m great, now.”

Luna giggled softly. “Excellent. But, I was more curious about your emotional state after the dream we experienced. You were very upset at the end.”

I sighed, reaching out and grabbing the mug of coffee. I took a slow sip, trying to buy some time to think about what to say. I swallowed, and I said, “Yeah. It was upsetting.”

“The man in the street knew your name. He was someone close to you?” Luna said, her eyes locked on mine.

I nodded slowly, feeling my hands clutch the mug a bit tighter. “Yes.”

Luna watched me for a moment, before nodding. “I will ask later. Perhaps you need more time.”

She stepped back up to the throne, and her eyes closed. I watched her for a moment. Why did the princesses feel like meddling in my life so much? It was somewhat aggravating, even if I couldn’t deny that they’d helped. Before I could consider my feelings on the subject, a group of three more ponies arrived. I set down my mug and picked up my quill, glad to have some work to focus on.

Princess Luna’s feather-soft touch on my shoulder startled me out of my writing. “Jake? Close the doors. We will not see more petitioners tonight.”

Princess Luna had seen almost two dozen petitioners, now, and I had been keeping a steady stream of notes on the goings on and decisions reached. The only pony we had left to see was actually one of the earlier petitioners, Solar Shuffle, who had elected three times to wait to speak to Princess Luna in favor of allowing other ponies with more urgent issues to be seen. Princess Luna had promised the sarosian mare that her patience would be rewarded with additional time, and she seemed intent on honoring that promise now. I raised a hand to Dusky, beckoning him over. “Princess Luna is going to close the room for the last session. Let anypony arriving know that they will need to come another night.”

Dusky nodded, trotting back to the doors to relay the message to the other guards. I stood up, stretching and yawning. Rose Hips offered me another cup of coffee almost immediately, which I accepted with a grateful nod. Luna had returned to her seat upon the throne, and she gestured to Solar Shuffle. “Come, daughter. Speak with me.”

Solar Shuffle approached, glancing at me nervously. Her gaze shifted towards Dusky, unexpectedly, before returning to Princess Luna. I sat down at my desk, taking up my quill again. Solar Shuffle exhaled slowly, before straightening her back into a confident pose. “I have a family problem that I want to discuss with you, Princess Luna.”

Princess Luna nodded once, encouraging her to continue. Solar Shuffle’s tail twitched, betraying her nervousness. “My parents practice the old ways, and that includes things like arranged marriages between families to preserve our people. I understand the importance of the act, but... I don’t want to be bound to marry somepony that my parents choose, or be forced to uphold the ways of the elders that I don’t think should be kept!”

I glanced up from my paper, looking towards Dusky. He had turned around and was looking at Solar Shuffle with narrowed eyes. Solar Shuffle continued. “I have respect for the old ways, I do, and I don’t mean to be insulting, but the old ways were made for a time when bat ponies and the other races of Equestria were apart. Now that we are one herd again, I don’t think I should have to live in darkness.”

I blinked, turning to look at her with some surprise. Had she called herself a bat pony? The two nearest guards had also turned to look at her as well. Solar Shuffle’s wings spread open, and she turned to the side, displaying her cutie mark for Princess Luna. Her mark was a bright sun coming from behind a dark cloud. “I have a talent for weather manipulation, like our cousins, the pegasus ponies... but my family thinks that I should take up a profession more in line with the ways of our ancestors. I... don’t want to do that. I’m not a hunter, or a fisher, or a smith or guard. I’m meant to be a weather pony! To work in the daytime!”

Luna leaned forward in her seat, her eyes wide. “Child, is it not difficult for you to be awake in the day? Doesn’t the sun hurt your eyes?”

Solar Shuffle folded her wings and looked back up at the Princess. “Yes, sometimes, but I had goggles specially forged for me to wear during the day.”

Luna frowned. “Very well. But, be clear, child, what it is you ask of me. I need clarity to decide how to act on this before I make any decisions. Tell me, plainly, what you want.”

Solar Shuffle exhaled slowly. “I... don’t want to be a sarosian. I want to be a bat pony, a member of Equestria, not separated by old ideas.”

“Yr n'H’luun’lynna?” The strange words came from Dusky, and he froze as all eyes turned to him. He bowed deeply under the scrutiny. “Apologies, Princess Luna!”

Solar Shuffle looked distinctly uncomfortable as she turned to face Princess Luna. “See? All around me are old ponies with old ideas and an old language. All I want is to be a part of Equestria, not a little tribe that still fears the sun and worships the moon!”

Luna frowned. “You ask much of me, Solar Shuffle.” I immediately noticed that Luna had spoken Solar Shuffle’s full name, instead of calling her ‘child’. Solar Shuffle obviously noticed it as well, because her ears tilted flat on her skull and she bowed her head.

Luna was silent for several long moments. The rest of the sarosian guards all stared straight ahead, and Dusky tore himself away from the proceedings to stare at the doors, doing his best impression of a statue. Luna raised her hoof. “Everypony, leave us. I wish to speak privately with Solar Shuffle.”

Dusky opened his mouth, reconsidered, and then opened the doors. The staff and guards shuffled out, and I stood up, ready to follow them. Luna held up a hoof in my direction. “Jake, stay here. I have need of you.”

I stopped, turning and raising an eyebrow. “Me? This is a little above my pay grade, Princess.”

Luna shook her head. “Stay, please.”

I nodded and returned to my seat, and Dusky closed the doors behind him. The three of us were alone, now. Princess Luna sighed, stepping off the throne and walking slowly down to stand before Solar Shuffle. Solar Shuffle looked up as she realized she was being approached, and she stood at something approximating attention. It would have almost been impressive, if not for the slight tremble in her back legs and how she bit her lower lip. Luna eyed her for a moment before she took a seat next to the sarosian. “Sit with me. I wish to better understand you, Solar Shuffle. You are not the first of my children to abandon the old ways, but you are the first to come and ask my permission.”

Solar Shuffle looked surprised, her ears tilting forward, but she sat down. Princess Luna was easily head and shoulders taller than the mare, but in that moment she looked... small. Tired. She looked down at Solar Shuffle. “Have I failed you, Solar Shuffle?”

Solar Shuffle’s eyes widened, and her ears went flat. “W-what? No! Of course not, Princess!”

Princess Luna smiled softly. “I can understand not wishing to be placed in an arranged marriage... or wishing to follow your destiny. Truly, I do. But, to abandon your heritage? To give up that which makes you a sarosian? That I do not understand.”

Solar Shuffle swallowed hard, looking down at her hooves. In the ensuing silence, I finally spoke up. “Princess?”

“Jake?” she said, looking up at me.

“I, uh, I don’t understand. I’m sorry, but could either of you fill me in a bit? I was just told today that bat ponies are supposed to be called sarosians, but it sounds to me like there’s a difference?”

Luna smiled at me. “Sarosians are bat ponies, yes. They are the same race, but of two different cultures, of sorts. More and more, younger sarosians have taken to being called bat ponies, as they attempt to better integrate with Equestrian society. It is not uncommon for there to be confusion about the topic. I, myself, am somewhat uncertain. I had hoped that Solar Shuffle would help me understand.”

Solar Shuffle looked up, finally, her gaze shifting from me to Luna as she spoke. “Well, it’s just hard, because my family doesn’t understand that I want to work in the daytime, or that I don’t want to take up a more traditional job. I want to be free to make choices that I think are best for me, and that includes things like who I love or wish to marry, or what work I do and when I do it. The only way that I could see to make that happen is to... not be sarosian.”

I nodded slowly. “Okay, that makes sense. She wants agency over her life. I can respect that.”

Luna spoke quietly, “I believe that there lies a happy medium between what you desire and what you feel you must give up to achieve that desire.”

Solar Shuffle shook her head. “I tried explaining things to my family, but they didn’t understand. They accused me of turning away from the old ways... so I got angry, and I told them that I might! They were so upset! And now I either have to say I was wrong and give up everything I want, or I have to stand firm and leave the old ways behind.”

Luna nodded. “Solar Shuffle, perhaps it is not I that you should speak with on this topic.”

Solar shuffle looked up at Luna, confused. “What? Who else would understand?”

Luna gestured with one wing, pointing to me. I blinked, slightly surprised, but I nodded after a moment of consideration. “I... guess I do understand.”

Solar Shuffle looked at me with trepidation. “Who are you?”

I smiled. “I’m Jake. I’m new to Equestria, too.”

“O-oh,” was all Solar Shuffle could manage, sill obviously confused.

I sat forward in my chair, turning it to face Solar Shuffle. “Before... before I came here, I sort of did what you’re thinking about doing. I had a hard home life, but for really different reasons than you do. I left everything and everyone I know behind to pursue my... my career,” I cleared my throat. “It wasn’t exactly the same, but what you’re doing is essentially similar. You’re considering walking away from your old life to start a new one.”

Solar Shuffle nodded slowly. “Y-yeah... that’s pretty much what I’m doing?”

I chuckled. “Well, it’s good to want to be the master of your own fate. I’m a terrible example, honestly, but I can tell you this: if I could go back and do things differently, I wouldn’t have cut ties so completely with my old life. I didn’t have much of a choice, though. I made a lot of mistakes, Miss Shuffle, and those bad choices forced me to leave everything behind. You’re not in that position, though. You have options.”

Solar Shuffle shifted to look at me, her face attentive. Behind her, Luna smiled at me, urging me to speak. I continued, “The life I ended up leading was really lonely. I only had a few friends, and beyond that nothing. I missed my family, but it took me a while to really appreciate what I’d left behind. You seem like a good pony, and I’d hate for you to make the same mistake I did.”

“So... you’re saying I should listen to my family and stay with them?” Solar Shuffle asked uncertainly.

“No! Hell no. You need to do what’s best for you. That said, what’s best for you probably doesn’t include giving up everything of your culture and way of life to start again. I’d avoid that. Like Princess Luna said, there’s a happy medium somewhere that you can find... but you need to be willing to give up a little.”

Solar Shuffle frowned slightly. “But... how do I know what to stand firm on, and how do I know where to give ground?”

I shrugged. “Go with your gut. You know what’s most important to you, and what you can manage to go without. But... coming here and asking Princess Luna to solve your problem isn’t going to actually get results. You’re going to have to go back and face your family and work things out.” It suddenly dawned on me why Luna had asked me to help her with this problem, and I shot her a glare. Meddling princesses!

Luna ignored me, her focus on Solar Shuffle. Solar Shuffle looked down at her hooves again. “It’s so hard to talk to them, though. I feel like they can’t help but see me as a little filly.”

Luna laughed. “That will always be true, Solar Shuffle. They are your parents, and that will always be part of how they see you... but it is important to help them understand that you are also an adult, a mare with her own life. But making them understand that does not have to include cutting them out of it.”

Solar Shuffle sighed. “That makes sense. I just... I came here and I hoped that you’d just be able to solve my problem, Princess.”

Luna chuckled. “Many ponies think as you do, but often times it just requires some discussion and understanding before they realize that the answer was always there for them, given some direction and a dose of good sense.”

Solar Shuffle smiled, looking up at the Princess. “I guess so. I’ll go back and talk to my family, then, and I’ll try to be more clear about what I want.” She looked to me, “And I’ll keep in mind what I really want, and find places to compromise.”

I chuckled, looking at the Princess. “Looks like another satisfied customer.”

Luna smirked, “Indeed. Solar Shuffle, are you satisfied?”

Solar Shuffle smiled, before the look of trepidation suddenly returned. “Y-yes. I just have one thing more to ask, Princess.”

“What is it?” Luna asked, curious.

“You... started calling me by my full name after I asked my question. Was it because you were upset with me?” she asked, shuffling one front hoof on the carpet.

Luna shook her head vehemently. “No! Never. I realized that by calling you ‘child’, it was undermining you before your peers, and likely directly speaking to the fears you harbored about not being taken seriously as an adult.”

“Oh,” Solar Shuffle looked up, smiling sheepishly. “That makes sense. I was afraid I’d insulted you, Princess!”

Luna chuckled. “It is your right to not wish to keep to the old ways. I, of all ponies, would never begrudge you for wishing to follow your own path.”

I cleared my throat. “So, uh... I have one question.”

Luna and Solar Shuffle both looked up at me expectantly. I pointed to her. “So, do I call you a bat pony, or a sarosian?”

Both of them laughed, shaking their heads. Luna said, “I believe that is up to Solar Shuffle.”

Solar Shuffle smiled after a moment. “I... guess I’m a sarosian. But you can call me either, I don’t mind.”

I nodded, “Ah. Dusky out there nearly spit his bit when I called him a bat pony.”

Luna smirked. “Dusky is very old fashioned. Both terms are acceptable, though some of the older sarosians dislike being called bat pony. It is often safer to call them sarosians.”

Solar Shuffle stood up, as did Luna, and Luna opened her wings and pulled the smaller mare into a hug. “Be strong in your needs, but be open to compromise. Don’t feel that you must abandon all you are, Solar Shuffle,” she said softly.

Solar Shuffle froze briefly, before she nuzzled Princess Luna’s graceful neck gently. “Thank you so much, Princess.”

Solar Shuffle stepped away, smiling at me. “And thank you, Jake. I’m sorry about your family, I hope you get the chance to figure things out with them someday.”

I chuckled even as I felt my gut twist in a knot. “Thank you.”

Solar Shuffle made her way to the doors and pushed them open and stepped out, disappearing from view. As she left, the staff and guards filed in. Dusky looked distinctly uncomfortable, his gaze going to me as if hoping I'd tell him what transpired. I shrugged and went back to finishing my notes on the court's proceedings. Luna was inscrutable, simply returning to the throne and sitting down. Within moments, she had closed her eyes, and her body shimmered with her magical aura as she returned to the realm of dreams.

I was surprised when Dusky approached me, glancing up at Princess Luna before speaking with me. "I'm sorry to bother you, Jake, but what happened with Solar Shuffle?"

I looked up from my work at him, shrugging. "She decided that she needed to talk things out with her family. I think we helped her realize that she was being too hasty in wanting to leave behind her culture without trying more options. No real resolution, but hopefully we gave her a lot to work with." I smirked, "I think she'll be okay."

Dusky let out a sigh of relief. I raised an eyebrow at him. "You were really tense there. Why's it matter so much to you what happens to Solar Shuffle?"

"She is a relative of mine. I knew she was having problems at home, but not the extent. It's disturbing to know that she was pushed to the point where she was willing to give up her heritage."

"It kind of made me think a little about your reaction to being called a bat-pony. You said it was racist, but I sort of get the feeling that this was more of a generation gap issue?" I asked.

Dusky frowned. "It was used in a derogatory manner in the past. Recently, younger sarosians have thought to 'reclaim' it as their own moniker, hoping that by finding ownership over the term it will lose its power and also help them integrate better. I disagree with the sentiment."

I nodded in understanding. "Ah, I figured it was something like that. There were words and terms like that in my world as well. It's a sensitive issue, for sure. Thanks for clearing that up, though."

"Certainly."

I glanced at him. He still looked uncertain, like he had a question he wanted to ask but wasn't sure if he should. "Dusky," I said, "I think what's important to take away from this is that maybe, just maybe, sarosians like you need to take into account the needs of the younger generations of sarosians that are trying to find a place in Equestria. You guys have been apart for so long... maybe you should consider finding places that you can give some concessions? I'd bet that you'd see more young ponies interested in keeping with your culture if you were less strict?"

Dusky stared at me for a long moment, biting his lower lip, before he nodded. "I shall think about it."

I smiled. "Great. Now, I've got this paperwork to wrap up before I can escape for breakfast with a pretty mare," I said, winking at Dusky.

Dusky chuckled, "Very good."

I threw myself into finishing my work, trying to ignore the ugly feeling inside my chest. I tried not to dwell on the fact that I would probably never get a chance to see my family again, even if Princess Twilight Sparkle and the unicorns at Celestia's school found a way to send me home. Not that there was anything worthwhile to go home to. I was a wanted criminal in several countries. Maybe my long absence would get some of the heat off of me, but it wasn't a sure thing. The groups I'd worked for or fought against had long memories, and even the ones that were friendly with me rarely allowed people to just leave. Loose ends had a way of getting snipped. I found a smirk on my face as I thought quietly to myself that Rarity would appreciate that metaphor.

I yawned as I slid into my usual seat at Joe's Diner. The sun was just coming up, and my work for the night was done. Margarine was there to greet me, smirking as she plopped down a fresh mug of coffee in front of me. "Heya, hon. Expectin' your marefriend?"

I glanced up at Margarine, frowning. "Friend. And yes. She should be fashionably late, knowing her."

Margarine rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Yeesh, just an expression," she said with a wink.

I sighed. "Sorry, Marge. Just been a long night. Lots on my mind."

Margarine patted me on the shoulder. "No problem. I'm sure your mood is about to get better real quick."

"Oh yeah?" I said, smirking at her, "How's that?"

"Hellooooo, darling!"

Marge grinned, setting down a second mug of coffee as Rarity entered the diner. I found my smirk transforming into a genuine smile, and I glanced at Marge. "Touché."

Marge laughed, dropping two menus on the table and trotting off to give Rarity and I our space, as Rarity jumped onto the seat across from me. Rarity beamed at me from across the table, looking radiant, as always. She'd done her mane up today, violet ringlets cascading down her head, and she wore a long red coat with a plush looking inner trim around the neck line. "Good morning, Jake. How was your night?" she asked.

"Good," I said, but then I hesitated. "Long," I clarified, taking a sip of my coffee.

"Oh? Did something happen at the night court?" Rarity asked, picking up on my mood.

I nodded. "Yeah, just... some stuff got brought up that made me think about my family. Made me realize a few things, I guess?"

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry to hear that," Rarity said, taking a dainty taste of her coffee before adding more cream to it.

"Nothing to worry about, I guess. It's not like there's anything I can do about it. I'm here, now," I said carefully, trying to make it seem like less of a big deal than it felt.

Rarity nodded. "Yes, but... well, you might be able to go back," she said, glancing up at me.

I shrugged. "I guess? Princess Twilight sounded hopeful the last time we talked, but there hasn't been a lot of progress. Besides... what would I go back to?"

Rarity blinked, outright staring at me for a moment. "What... what do you mean, darling? Isn't your family still there?"

I nodded. "Yeah, they are, but... with all the things I've done in my life, it's not as easy as just walking back home and saying hello." I shook my head, taking a deep breath. "I've thought about it a lot, though. Even before I came here, sometimes I'd dream about my family... finding them again. Going home."

Rarity smiled, "You're a resourceful gentleman, I'm sure you could find a way to make it happen."

I chuckled. "You're probably right... but even if I could do it, I couldn't stay. My life would catch up to me in one way or another. I told you before, people like me don't retire. If it wasn't my old enemies, it would be my old friends, coming to collect on debts or to find out why I suddenly left them high and dry."

"It would be worth it, though, wouldn't it? To find some closure? Perhaps give them some peace?" Rarity pressed.

I was silent for a moment, before shrugging. "Maybe. I just wouldn't want my family to get caught up in the wake of all my mistakes. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to them because I darkened their doorstep."

Rarity went quiet as well, simply extending her hoof across the table. I reached out and held it, running my thumb along her fetlock absently. She shivered, smiling at me. "I think they would want it as much as you did," she said softly.

"I guess, yeah."

"Celestia above, look at you two," Margarine groused good-naturedly, appearing at exactly the most inopportune moment.

I rolled my eyes, grinning at Margarine. "C'mon, Marge. We're having a moment!"

Marge stuck her tongue out at me. "And I'm just tryin' to make an honest bit! What can I get you two?"

"A bear claw sounds amazing, and two eggs, sunny-side up. I need something sweet," I said.

Rarity raised an eyebrow, looking mock-affronted. "Excuse me, am I not sweet enough for you?"

I grinned at her. "You're too sweet. The bear claw is to water you down." I took a sip of my coffee, trying to play it smooth.

Margarine smirked. "I thought you said she wasn't your marefriend, but if you know what she tastes like, well," Margarine waggled her eyebrows salaciously.

I snorted and choked, inhaling some coffee. My sinuses burned, and I dropped the cup, grabbing a napkin and coughing into it as the hot liquid nearly shot out my nose. "Marge!" I spluttered.

Rarity looked equally scandalized as her face turned as red as the coat she was wearing. "Goodness!"

Margarine cackled, dropping an extra napkin in front of me. "What, too far? Can't an old mare tell a few dirty jokes?" She winked at Rarity. "How about you, miss?"

Rarity giggled, shaking her head. "I'll have toast, sourdough, with jam and butter on the side, and the breakfast vegetables."

Margarine nodded, "Great! I'll be back with your food."

With that, Margarine trotted back to the kitchen with our orders, leaving devastation in her wake. I managed to clear the coffee from my sinuses, and I shook my head. "Christ. She's something else."

"Indeed," Rarity said, still giggling. She reached across the table with her napkin and wiped a spot of coffee off my nose.

I laughed. Secretly, I was glad for Marge to have lightened the mood. I felt a bit better, embarrassment aside, and Rarity seemed to be in good form today as well. An idea suddenly popped into my head. "Hey, Rarity?"

"Hmm?" she hummed, looking up at me while she was taking a drink of coffee.

"Would you want to go down to Ponyville in the next few days? I'd love to meet some of your friends, get out of the city for a day."

Rarity choked, sitting up and staring at me with wide eyes. She daintily wiped her mouth, breathing deeply for a moment as she recovered. "P-Ponyville? Why," she laughed nervously, "would you want to go there? It's just a quiet little village, nothing special!"

I shrugged. "I think a day away from Canterlot would be fun. I haven't really gotten to see anything outside of the city, and I always liked going new places. Plus, Princess Twilight's castle is there, right? It would be a good excuse to drop in and see how things are going with reverse-engineering the spell that brought me here."

"Oh, of course, ah, that would certainly be a good thing to check up on," Rarity said, running one hoof through her mane, "if one were to go to Ponyville."

I raised an eyebrow. "What's up with you?"

"Me?" Rarity blinked and straightened up a bit. "Oh, nothing. It, er, sounds like a splendid idea!"

I grinned at her. "Great. Would two days from now work for you? It's my day off."

"Ah... yes, I believe it would work. I have a dress to finish, and it would give me a good excuse to pop down to my boutique in Ponyville to pick up a few supplies. It would be terribly boring, though. My friends are all, ah, quite busy ponies. I doubt we could arrange something on such short notice!"

I shrugged. "That's fine, then. If I'm being honest, I'd just like to spend more time with you, away from work and the city."

Rarity smiled. "That... does sound nice." She exhaled slowly, seeming to make up her mind about something. "Ponyville is lovely this time of year, too. It is very quiet. A day at the boutique there would be a nice change of pace, and we could get dinner at one of the nice little restaurants." She smiled. "Does that interest you? Not terribly exciting, I'm afraid."

"That sounds great," I said.

Rarity laughed, leaning back in her seat. "Very well. I will be taking you to Ponyville in two days."

"I think there's train that leaves around noon. Does that work?" I asked.

Rarity smiled, her ears canting back on her head. "Y-yes. Noon. Two days!"

I nodded. "Great. I'll pick you up at your shop, then."

Rarity nodded, her eyes glancing out the window. "Indeed! Ah, Jake?" she pointed out the window.

"Hm?" I looked out the window, and nearly jumped out of my seat. Corporal Sapphire Spirit was standing on the other side of the glass, glaring at me. "Holy crap!"

"I assume, judging by her, ah," Rarity gestured to Sapphire's flattened ears, stiff legs, and lashing tail, "unhappy visage, that you did not inform her you were getting a cup of coffee with me."

"Rarity, when have I ever given Sapphire an easy time?" I said, tearing my gaze away from Sapphire to smirk at Rarity.

Rarity giggled. "Oh, she's even angrier, now. Here she comes. Perhaps you should run?"

"She flies. It'd be stupid to run," I said, watching as Corporal Sapphire stomped her way towards the front door of the diner.

"Jake?" Rarity asked, turning towards me.

"Hm?"

"When have you ever given Sapphire an easy time?" she said with a wink.

I smirked, standing up. "Never, that's when. See you soon?"

She laughed, hopping up from her seat and giving me a quick hug. "Two days, darling!"

I returned the hug, before letting her go and pivoting on my heel. Rarity stretched out a hoof and, unexpectedly, slapped me on the ass. "Giddyup, as t'were!"

I shot her a look over my shoulder, and she merely grinned and waved, giggling. I leapt over the diner's front counter just as Corporal Sapphire burst into the front door in a fury of feathers and hooves. "Jake! How many times have I told you?!"

"Not enough!" I shouted, ducking into the kitchen.

Joe met me at the kitchen door with a baggie. "I bagged your bear claw. You givin' Miss Sapphire a hard time?"

"Of course," I said, grabbing the bag and dropping a dozen bits into his hoof from my pocket. "Thanks, Joe!"

I darted out the back door of the diner and hit the streets of Canterlot, breakfast in hand, and I made for the castle. I could hear furious wing beats and colorful curses behind me, and I laughed as I ran for my life.

4: Mare Cannot Live on Secrets Alone

View Online

Two days later, I stepped off the train from Canterlot and onto the station platform of Ponyville. I was alone, which wasn't quite how I'd planned to take my first train ride out of Canterlot, but Rarity had sent a letter a day after we'd met at Joe's, letting me know she would meet me at the train station in Ponyville. Business had called her home, apparently.

Ponyville struck me immediately as a strange place, even more than Canterlot. Canterlot had cohesion in its planning, and ultimately it wasn't too terribly different from a modern city—some architectural choices aside. Even if it was a city built around a castle, I knew that there were places in Europe that were similar. Ponyville, however, was wholly different.

Thatched roofs, actual thatched roofs, blended with pavilions, tents, and vaguely Old-World European architecture. There were a few larger buildings with the more whimsical Pony architecture I was familiar with, but there was also bizarrely old-fashioned styles of building as well. Above everything, further enhancing the strange setting, was a crystal tree-castle. It was a piece of impossible architecture, obviously the work of some kind of magic. It was intensely bizarre, if beautiful. The town was busy, filled with ponies bustling about, all focused around open-air markets and stalls selling fruits, vegetables, and other wares. I could hear some banging in the distance, like the sound of fireworks, and the occasional rumble. Construction, maybe? Odd city planning aside, Ponyville seemed nice. Not quite the same speed as Canterlot, but it was a place I could certainly understand the appeal of. The air here was fresh, the buildings less crowded than Canterlot, and the ponies seemed more happy to walk than rush about like their city-dwelling kin. It was, frankly, the kind of town I'd spent a lot of my time in back on Earth. Little towns, full of bored people seeking a little rush or a quick escape. Somewhere that the people I worked for could sell their product with minimum of fuss or mess. I liked working in those towns, usually because a few nods and some carefully filled envelopes of cash kept the police away, and that meant downtime and fun.

I briefly reflected on how messed up it was that I liked this town because it reminded me of selling drugs easily, frowning to myself as I did so. I did my best to put that thought out of my mind, and I walked towards the town proper. As I rounded the side of the train station, I was bowled over by Rarity as she walked horn-first into my gut as I turned the corner. I grunted and staggered back, she yelped and recoiled, and we both stared at each other in surprise. She was wearing a big sun hat and cream sundress with black lace accents, and had a bag balanced on her back. I chuckled, rubbing my stomach where I'd been poked. "Well, hello to you, too!"

She blushed, lifting one hoof and checking that her mane hadn't been marred by the collision. "Jake! I'm terribly sorry, darling! Are you all right?"

I shrugged, "Sure, no harm done. And your mane is flawless, by the way."

Rarity lowered her hoof, smiling up at me. "You do know how to put a lady at ease."

"I try, anyway," I said, kneeling down and giving her a hug which she returned warmly. "Good to see you. I'm excited to be here!"

"Excited to have you, Jake! Here, put these on," Rarity said, offering me a bag. Inside was a hat, an honest-to-god cowboy hat, and a pair of sunglasses. I raised an eyebrow and glanced up at her, and she gestured to the sunny day overhead. "We're going to be outside a bit, and I wouldn't want you to get too hot."

I frowned. "I'm not much of a hat guy."

"You are, today!" Rarity insisted, giving me a look that said there would be no compromises.

I examined the stetson with an incredulous look, taking in the white material and the dark black hat band with a blue gemstone in the middle. Obviously a hat of Rarity's own design. I plopped the stetson on my head with a sigh. The sunglasses were a welcome addition to my wardrobe, though. I'd worn them often in Mexico and South America; it was practically a necessity, considering in my line of work obfuscating your eyes and face in some manner was always prudent. It wouldn't do to get recognized by the wrong people at the wrong time. I smirked at Rarity and gave her a nod. "Do I meet the dress code?"

Rarity giggled. "Almost. Your hat is crooked." Her horn shimmered, and I felt the tingling touch of magic as she messed with my hat briefly. "There. Come along, then! I want to show you my boutique. The original boutique," she noted, casting a smile over her shoulder as she trotted ahead of me. I followed the unicorn as she trotted quickly through the streets.

Rarity took a bit of a circuitous route, down tight alleyways and around backyards, showing me a few interesting shops and houses, indulging my curiosity towards this strange town. "I'm pleased you find Ponyville intriguing, Jake. Typically, most ponies overlook it as a podunk town, but I feel like we're the heart of Equestria."

"More than Canterlot?" I asked, looking around with interest.

"I think so, anyway. Perhaps I'm biased, but Canterlot lacks some of the soul that Ponyville possesses. The best of everything Equestria has to offer is here; perhaps not the latest fashions or the finest foods, but the ponies here are... wholly unique and wonderful," Rarity said, her voice carrying an undertone of emotion.

"Mm. It's quite the hometown," I said, her own emotions making me feel a bit nostalgic.

Rarity nodded. "It really is," she said as we turned a corner and arrived in front of what had to be her boutique. The building was unmistakably decorated with her style and flair, lavender and pink colors displayed prominently along with a pony mannequin on a pole like a carousel ride. Rarity stopped as the building came into full view, and she raised one hoof dramatically, gesturing to the building. "And this, my friend, is Carousel Boutique. Where fashion is chic, unique, and magnifiquè!"

I wondered how a carousel in Equestria would look. It struck me as a tad odd, and I knew that the curiosity would drive me to distraction if I didn't ask. "Okay, I have to ask. Carousels here in Equestria... do you ponies ride little ponies?"

Rarity laughed, giving me a playful shove. "Honestly! I show off my boutique, and that's the first thing that you say?"

"It's a lovely shop," I said, smiling at her as I took in the building.

Rarity raised an eyebrow and let out a fake huff of exasperation. "Well, I suppose that's a start. Come along, then! I'll show you inside."

As we approached the boutique there was a rumble in the distance, like thunder. I glanced up at the sky. "Huh. Summer thunderstorms roll in often?"

Rarity's face ran a quick gamut of emotions from surprise, to concern, and finally a dismissive frown and a shrug. "Ah, yes, sometimes. The pegasus ponies in charge often get... creative in their weather scheduling. Come on inside, I don't want to get wet. It will positively ruin my mane!"

I checked over my shoulder, looking for clouds, but saw nothing approaching. There were buildings in between me and the horizon, though, so I shrugged and followed Rarity through the front door of the Carousel Boutique, taking off my sunglasses and tucking them in the neck of my shirt. The interior was as expected: a slightly smaller version of her boutique in Canterlot. A few curtained dressing rooms, space for displaying dresses, and a little raised area in the middle that appeared to be a stage or raised fitting area, but it was surrounded by closed curtains. Everything inside was lavender and pink, and smelled like Rarity. I smiled, "Very nice."

Rarity smiled up at me. "It is rather quaint in comparison, but I still think of this place as my home. You may have to get used to the inconvenience of traveling by train if you want to keep up our usual dates for coffee and conversation," she said coyly, her smile becoming a slightly teasing smirk.

"A tragedy, to be sure," I said with a chuckle, pondering her statement as I spoke. She wasn't wrong; if this was where she called home, our visits would be punctuated by absences while she was away from Canterlot. I shrugged to myself and thought aloud, "It's not quite the speed I'm used to traveling, but the train is relaxing. An experience, not just transportation. I think I can manage," I said, nodding to myself as I walked absently towards the closed-off fitting area.

Rarity darted in front of me, a wide smile on her face as she reared on her hind legs to get as close to eye-to-eye as she could manage, one hoof reaching out for balance and resting on my chest. "You mean... you'd travel down here to spend time with me?"

I stopped, disarmed by her hopeful look. "Oh, uh, yeah. Of course. You're..." I hesitated briefly, trying to sort out my feelings suddenly, "...important to me, Rarity. You're the first real friend I've had since I came here. To be honest, you're the first real friend I've had in... years. The first person that's had genuine interest in me for who I am, and not just somebody that wants to use me in one way or another. The princesses have been kind, and Twilight is very nice, but you? You're special." I reached out a hand tentatively and rested my palm against her cheek. She looked briefly startled by the intimate gesture, but then a small smile crept across her face and her eyes closed as she nuzzled against my palm.

"I'm glad," Rarity said quietly.

"Me too," I replied, hoping she could tell how sincere my appreciation for her was.

The door behind us opened suddenly, and I turned to see a small purple dragon freeze in the entryway of Carousel Boutique. Its eyes widened a bit as it spotted me, "Hey, Rarity—?"

"Woah," I said, gawking at the little purple dragon as he stood in the doorway, a slightly hesitant air about him as he glanced between me and Rarity. I realized, suddenly, that this must be Spike. There could only be so many purple dragons in Ponyville that knew Rarity. "You must be Spike." I immediately recalled that Rarity had mentioned that Spike had a crush on her, and she and I had been awfully close a moment ago. This... was not the first impression I wanted to have with Princess Twilight's assistant. Wow, awkward. Spike was looking increasingly uncomfortable, his eyes darting between Rarity and I, and he started blushing.

Rarity trotted past me and scooped Spike into a friendly hug. "Spikey! So good of you to drop by, and such, ah, impeccable timing."

"Uh, yeah. Yeah..." He blinked, blushing slightly as Rarity hugged him, and then squirmed a bit. "I, uh, just wanted to drop by and let you know that Twilight's gonna be busy today, so you can't do that thing you were going to do," Spike said, his blush deepening, and he looked down at his feet.

"Oh, drat," Rarity said lightly, and shrugged. "Ah well, perhaps another time! Well, then, that puts a damper on your plans for meeting Twilight, doesn't it, Jake?"

I nodded, the hairs on the back of my neck prickling slightly. Something was weird, but I couldn't tell what. I decided to turn my attention to Spike, walking over and kneeling down to get on his level. "Hey. I'm Jake. I'm betting Twilight's mentioned me?"

"Y-yeah! A few times. Rarity's mentioned you, too..." Spike said, glancing up to meet my eyes before looking back down at his feet, one toe drawing little circles in the carpet, "Twilight said you were tall, but she didn't really say how much."

I smirked. "Yeah, sorry, I'm a little intimidating sometimes. But any friend of Rarity's is a friend of mine. It's nice to meet you, Spike." I offered him a hand, hoping handshakes were something dragons did.

He looked at my hand, and a quick grin crossed his features as he held out his own fingers, wiggling them. "Hey, you've got fingers! Twilight mentioned that, but I've been pretty much the only creature in Ponyville with fingers for... well, forever!"

I laughed, "Well, I promise, I'm not here to compromise your position as Ponyville's only finger-owning dragon. I'm going to live in Canterlot, still, but I think I'll come down here pretty often. I hope we see a lot of each other." I hoped he was smart enough to pick up a little of my meaning, here. I didn't want him jealous or feeling replaced.

Spike finally looked up at me, meeting my gaze solidly for the first time, and he smiled a more genuine smile. "Cool. Me too." He took my still outstretched hand and shook it firmly.

He'd obviously picked up on my meaning, judging by how he'd relaxed a bit. Smart kid. I briefly marveled at the scales and claws that came into contact with my soft palm. I was shaking hands with a honest-to-god dragon. I grinned, despite myself. "Cool."

I stood up, glancing over at Rarity, who wore a blissful expression as she beamed at the two of us. "Oh, you both are getting along so well! I'm so pleased!" Spike blushed again, his smile reaching adorably wide levels as Rarity praised us, and I smirked as Rarity spoke again. "Well, I've cleared most of my orders so I could show you around town, but what with the storm that is brewing, we might need to stay in for a bit."

I glanced out the windows, noting the sunlight streaming in, and frowned. "Are you sure that there's going to be some weather rolling in?"

Spike spoke up, "Yeah! Uh, as I was dropping by, I could see the weather team working on thunder clouds... out by the forest." He looked at Rarity with a nervous expression. "They were having a real rough time with those stormclouds. Might be a bit."

Rarity cleared her throat as the sound of rumbling punctuated Spike's statement, and I shrugged. "Well, I guess it's up to you, Rarity. What would you like to do?"

Rarity smiled coyly, "Well," she giggled, batting her eyelashes at me, "I think I need to change. It wouldn't do to be wearing a sundress and hat when we're going to be spending some time indoors, would it?"

I pointed to the silly cowboy hat on my head. "Does that mean I can take this off?"

Rarity held up a hoof. "No!" She stared at me for a moment, and then winked. "I rather like you with it on, darling! Leave it? For me?"

I rolled my eyes. "The things I do for you."

Rarity grinned, "That's a good boy. Now, If you'll excuse me!" She turned and dashed up the stairs, disappearing from view.

I shook my head, sighing. Spike walked around me, getting a better look at me while I was standing up. I could tell he was sizing me up, and I decided not to let it bother me. "So," I said, and allowed the word to hang, not quite sure what to make of this situation.

"So... you and Rarity?" Spike asked, his eyes narrowing a bit.

Oh. We were going there? "We're friends. And... interested in each other. It's sort of complicated."

"Rarity's a complicated mare," Spike said, crossing his little arms. "You like her, then?"

"I do, but... maybe not in the way she wants," I said a little lamely.

Spike raised an eyebrow, but nodded. “Okay, I guess. So, she’s into you, but you’re not into her?”

I swallowed hard, “Yes, and no. I like her, but… well, she’s a pony. I’m not a pony. That makes it harder for me than it does for her. Probably because where I come from, the only horses that talked were on TV,” I reiterated quickly when I remembered that Television wasn’t a thing here, “or in plays or books. A fantasy. We didn’t have other species like us, who could talk and communicate like you and I can. Our animals aren’t smart… hell, most people aren’t smart either,” I said with a little laugh, trying to joke a bit around the serious topic we’d suddenly hit on.

Spike smirked a little bit at that. “So, you’re hung up on the fact that she’s a pony?”

I nodded slowly. “Yeah, that’s the long and short of it.”

Spike chuckled, “More like the big and little of it.”

I was totally startled by the sophisticated wordplay coming out of his mouth, and had to once again remind myself that Spike spent time around much more mature ponies, including the Princess of Books herself. I laughed, “Yeah, pretty much!” Something struck me, realizing that Spike was the first ‘outsider’ like me that I’d ever spoken to. I had to ask him about this. “Hey, you ever notice how Celestia calls everypony her ‘little ponies’?”

Spike’s eyes widened, and he started giggling, both hands covering his grinning face, “Oh my gosh! Nopony ever says anything about it, but it seems super condescending!”

Spike was obviously my kind of kid. We shared a laugh, the tension of the previous moment bleeding away. I grabbed a chair nearby, a plush seat for customers, and plopped myself down in it, and Spike hopped up on the adjacent ottoman. Rarity was taking a bit, but it wasn’t that terribly surprising; she was a high-maintenance kind of mare, which was part of what made her so… exciting. Intriguing. I gazed at the stairs, wondering what she was up to, and Spike laughed. I turned to look at him, interested. “What’s so funny?”

“You,” Spike said. When I gave him a questioning look, he blushed. “I, uh… it’s hard to explain, but I think I get why everypony always gives me these goofy looks and laughs at me when I’m around Rarity,” he managed to stammer out.

So, there it was. He was acknowledging that I was… a rival? I really wasn’t sure how to handle this. Some small, dirty part of me preened in the knowledge that I had Rarity’s affection and interest and he did not, but I pushed that down hard. “Yeah?” I asked. He had something on his chest, a bone to pick, and probably just shutting up and letting him get it out would be for the best.

“Yeah. I, uh… well, I know I’m Twilight’s assistant. And that’s cool. But… I spend a lot of time with Rarity. Or, uh, I used to. I help her out whenever she’s in Ponyville. She’s… important to me.” Spike looked up at me, obviously uncertain how to approach this.

“Rarity told me you have a crush on her,” I said, not really wanting to beat around the bush with this topic. He either hated my guts for ‘stealing’ her, or he didn’t, and the sooner we dealt with this, the better. Spike’s eyes widened a bit as a blush lit his face. I wondered, briefly, whether he’d actually blow steam out of his ears—what with being a fire-breathing dragon and all—but I pushed the curiosity aside. “So, you probably have something to say to me about that. I’d rather we do this now, so there isn’t any pretense, if that’s okay with you?”

“O-oh. Y-yeah, I, uh…” He was flustered by the direct approach I’d taken, but I stayed quiet, letting him gather his thoughts. Maybe he wanted to challenge me, maybe he’d be cool. He seemed conflicted, and I hoped he’d have something better to say to me than ‘You stole my girl!’. He didn’t seem like the type, but you never knew.

“Oh, just look at the two of you! Thick as thieves!” Rarity gasped from the bottom of the stairs. Spike froze up, and I turned and gave her a grin over my shoulder. Rarity was out of the sun dress, and wore a different, dark blue dress that was mostly sheer material and lace. Rarity trotted over, beaming at both of us. “Spike, I’m so glad that you’re here to talk with Jake. I’m very sorry that took such a long time, darlings!”

“No problem, Rarity,” I said, smiling as pointed to her nose where there was a bit of brown… powder? Dust? It was sort of hard to tell. “You went a little overboard on powdering your nose there. I always thought that wasn’t literal,” I said with a wink, “but what do I know about makeup?”

Rarity went crosseyed, noting the smudge on the tip of her nose, and she giggled nervously, reaching up with one hoof to wipe it away. “N-nothing, I’d imagine! Silly me. Thank you, Jake.”

Spike swallowed hard, his nervousness returning. “Jake and I were talking about how Princess Celestia calls everypony ‘her little ponies’ all the time. We both think it’s sort of weird.”

Rarity blinked, looking between the two of us, and then she laughed a genuine laugh, one that lacked some of the typical air of refinement she usually put on. “Oh! Goodness! Well, she is rather taller than most ponies, is she not?”

“Yeah, but the way she says it, it seems like it’s condescending,” I said, laughing at Rarity’s amusement.

“Jake!” Rarity said, laughing harder and giving me a shove with one hoof. “Honestly, Celestia doesn’t have a condescending bone in her regal body! How could you insinuate such a thing?”

I snorted, “I don’t know about that. You didn’t see how she handled those nobles at the tea party.” Thunder rumbled again in the distance, and we all quieted down to listen to it. I smirked, glancing out at the cloudless sky again. “Man, that rain storm is certainly taking its time.”

“I-indeed. Perhaps the weather ponies are moving it over the… fields? For watering?” Rarity said, her ears drooping slightly.

I squinted at her, looked pointedly out at the sunny day, and then back to her. “I’m not sure, would they want a big rainstorm on the middle of the day?”

Rarity giggled nervously, and suddenly turned towards the stairs. “Oh, dear, I think I left my curling iron on! I’ll be back in but a moment! Spike, do keep working your magic! It should be the last time I impose on you!”

Spike and I were quiet as we watched Rarity trot back upstairs. I shook my head. “Something weird is going on.”

“O-oh? I didn’t notice!” Spike chimed in, perhaps a touch too quickly.

I glanced over at him. He was acting even more flighty than earlier. “Something totally weird is up. You know anything about it?”

Spike blushed, squirming in his seat. “N-no.”

I frowned. “You don’t, huh?” I leaned in a little bit. “Why are you lying to me, Spike?”

Spike’s eyes widened, and he swallowed. “I, uh… it’s…” I leaned in a little bit closer, and he stammered out, “It’s a surprise!”

I blinked. “A surprise?”

Spike’s frills did a complex series of maneuvers that I couldn’t hope to comprehend, raising up, then down, then back up again, and he licked his lips, sweating a bit. “Y-yeah. I’m not supposed to say, but it’s a surprise.”

I leaned away from him, frowning. “Oh. Well, damn.”

“Y-yeah! Just, uh, sit tight, and you’ll see!” Spike said, blushing harder.

That wasn’t what was up, and I knew it, but I didn’t want to press too hard… not yet, anyway. I didn’t like liars, and I didn’t like surprises. There were weird things afoot, but I sighed. “A surprise, huh?”

“Yep!” Spike chuckled nervously, his eyes roaming around the room, anywhere but on me. He blurted out, suddenly, “So, have you kissed Rarity?”

I smirked, simultaneously impressed and a bit insulted that he’d try to throw me off the trail with such an obvious move. "Aren't you a little young to be asking me stuff like this?"

"I'm going to be this size for about ten more years before I start growing. I'm older than I look," Spike said, frowning at the implication I'd made.

"Right. Dragon..." I sighed, shaking my head. "Anyway, like I said, it's complicated. She's... she's a pony. I'm not. Sometimes it's easy to forget, but other times it's at the front of my mind. So it's—"

"Complicated," Spike said, rolling his eyes as he interrupted me. "Yeah. I get it." He straightened up, looking at me. He was nervous, I could tell, his little clawed hands clenching at his sides as he swallowed hard, mustering himself. "Rarity and I have been friends for a long time. I really... really care about her. So, I just... I want to say, if you hurt her, I... I don't know. I'll be mad!" Spike finished a bit lamely, frowning as he heard his own childish declaration.

I stared down at him, taking him in. Really assessing him, allowing the silence to stretch, maybe even letting him sweat a bit. If he wanted to play hard and shoot straight, I could do that. I was an expert at that. He was coming at me like so many others had, and in another life I would have laughed in his face and told him that if he was such a macho man, why was 'his girl' spending her time with me?

That wasn't me, though. Not anymore. So I leaned down a bit, getting eye level with him as I spoke. "Spike, I can't promise that I won't hurt Rarity." He bristled at that, and I held up a hand, continuing, "I'm not a perfect person, and I'm not even a very good one. Honestly, I'm a bad person." He looked even more worried, his eyes wide. "But I want to do better. I want to be better. For myself, first, but every day she gives me reasons to want to be better for her, too. I'm going to make mistakes. I'm sure that I'm going to screw up. And all I can do is hope that she forgives me, and gives me a chance to do better. I don't deserve any of the things she's given me, but she's given them freely, and I'd be crazy not to try and... give back."

Spike still looked tense. "You're... a bad person?"

"I was. I was very bad. But I'm doing better, and I have ponies like Twilight and the Princesses and Rarity to thank for that," I said. "But I'm not better. Not by a long shot. So... you're right to feel worried. I feel worried, too."

Spike stared at me, a million questions obviously churning in his head, and I waited to see what he settled on. He suddenly, bizarrely, chuckled a bit; a rueful sound coming from the little dragon. "You know, Rarity and the girls have a tendency to collect bad ponies. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you're one of them."

"Oh?" That was news to me, and I could tell that Spike was regretting saying that. "What do you mean, 'collect bad ponies'?"

Spike swallowed hard, blushing. "I, uh, I mean... she... uh... likes bad boys! You know, her... and Twilight. They like the bad ones, yes sir!" He laughed weakly. "Sunglasses, leather jackets, greased manes. It, uh, really gets them going!"

The hairs on the back of my neck prickled. He was hiding stuff again. Not only was he hiding something, or even multiple somethings, but he was really awful at it. He wasn't a liar, not like me, and a liar knew a liar when he heard one. I bent down a little bit more, getting in his face. "Yeah? Bad boys?"

"Y-yeah. Y'know... bad," he said lamely, the frills on his head drooping a bit.

"Mm, I don't. Why don't you tell me more?" I asked, allowing a grin to spread across my face as I stared him down. It was a slow grin, one that promised more than a laugh behind it. I'd perfected it in my old life. I wondered if he'd ever been intimidated before, and I guessed by his growing nervousness that the answer was 'no'. Something was up, something was wrong, and Spike was going to tell me. The last time something like this had happened, we'd ended up in a firefight that nearly got me killed. Betrayal was dangerous. Lies were dangerous if they weren't mine.

"Um, I... need to go to the bathroom?" he said, eyes wide as his legs crossed in front of himself as he stared up at me.

I held the stare and the grin, "Yeah?" Talk. “Tell me.” I leaned in a little closer, adding the pressure, and I cracked my knuckles absentmindedly. “What’s going on.” He'd be so easy to break. Just a little more...

"P-please?" he said, his eyes starting to water, and when he squeezed them shut a tear dripped down his cheek. "Please?"

I froze up as I watched that tear drop down to the floor. Sudden nausea swept over me. What the fuck was I doing? I leaned away from him, my head suddenly spinning. What the fuck was I doing?! "Shit," I whispered to myself. Spike was frozen, his eyes welling with tears as he stared at me, his little body shaking slightly. I shook my head and croaked out, "Go."

He went, practically running towards a door nearby, a little choked gasp working out of him as he opened the door to the bathroom, flicked on a light, and then slammed it shut. I cursed under my breath again, panic rising in my chest as I stood up and walked to the door. “Spike?” I called, trying to bring my voice to a gentle place, and not sound as freaked out by my actions as I felt. He didn’t respond, but I could hear him in there, gasping and crying. I cursed again. “Spike,” I called into the door, “I’m sorry. You were lying to me, and I don’t like that, but I shouldn’t have been intimidating you like that, either.”

Spike hiccupped, and I could hear him get quieter. He was listening. “I told you, I’m a bad person. I mess up, and I just messed up with you. Really bad. You’re a good kid, and I don’t like it when people lie to me, because it’s gotten me… hurt… in the past. But you didn’t deserve that.”

“P-please, just go away,” Spike said, voice muffled through the door.

“Okay. I’m gonna go give you some space. I’m really sorry, though.” I said, and pointedly walked away, making some noise with my shoes so he knew I was actually walking away. I walked to the door of the boutique and pressed my forehead against the glass, rubbing at my eyes. Damn it…

I thought I had that part of myself under control. The first few months of my time in Canterlot had been spent unlearning all those old instincts, trying to normalize myself. Time with therapist ponies, time with the Princesses, trying to re-learn how to be… a person, and not whatever I’d become in my downward spiral at the end of my time as a criminal. Make myself safe, and not the raging asshole that I’d been. Nobody deserved to meet that part of me, least of all Spike. He was a kid, and I’d just put pressure on him that’d make most adults piss themselves. He practically had. He’d been lying to me, but about what? And Rarity wasn’t even back yet. She’d gone to turn off an iron! Why wasn’t she back? What was going on? I turned around and moved across the room to the door to the bathroom. “Spike?”

“Go away!” He called again.

“I’m going to go get Rarity, and she can sort this out, okay?” I hoped he’d understand. I didn’t want to embarrass him, but this wasn’t something I could fix alone. I needed help.

“N-no! You can’t!” Spike said, sounding frantic.

“I gotta, bud. You need somebody you trust, not… not me. Sorry,” I said, turning and heading for the stairs. I needed Rarity, and whatever surprise she was preparing was going to have to wait. I took the stairs two at a time, peering into the first door. A guest bedroom, with an open window. No Rarity. “Rarity?” I called out, following the stairs up and to another door.

I pushed the door open, revealing what had to be the master bedroom. A four-post bed, everything in lavenders and purples, a vanity mirror with tons of products and makeup, another door beyond to what must be another bathroom. I called tentatively, “Rarity?”

She didn’t answer. I swallowed and entered her bedroom. “I’m coming in. I need to talk with you, sorry to barge in,” I said, approaching the slightly open door. I knocked. “Rarity?”

Nothing. No answer, at all. I frowned, and pushed open the door a bit. A bathroom, and it was empty. “What the hell?” I muttered to myself.

“She’s not here,” came Spike’s voice from behind me.

I turned around, regarding him across the room. He stood in the doorway, his eyes red, and he rubbed at them, sniffling. “Spike, I—”

“She’s not here. She’s with Twilight and the girls. I’m sorry I lied to you, but she asked me to,” Spike said, his voice resigned and hoarse.

I frowned. Why was Rarity making Spike lie for her? “With who? I don’t understand. What’s going on?”

“She’s with Twilight, and the rest of her friends. There’s a monster outside of town, near the Everfree forest. She’s fighting it,” Spike said quietly.

I blinked. “What? That… that doesn’t make any sense.” Was he lying to me again? I stared at him, trying to pick up on something, some tell, but he was dead serious. “Fighting… a monster?”

“That’s what she does, Jake. She fights monsters and bad ponies,” Spike said, looking up at me and frowning.

“How can there be a—”I blinked, the pieces beginning to fall together. “Was that the thunder?”

Spike nodded. “You weren’t supposed to hear any of it. Rarity had Twilight enchant that hat she gave you. Something about the sounds… I guess it didn’t work quite perfectly?”

I reached up tentatively, and pulled the stupid cowboy hat off of my head. The shift was immediate. Roars, not thunder, filled the air. The crack of explosions, the sounds of panicking ponies echoing across town. I gaped at Spike, and looked down at the hat in shock. This… she’d tricked me? Lied? “Why?”

“She didn’t want you to worry about her,” Spike said.

What the fuck? There was some kind of monster, attacking Rarity’s hometown, and she was out fighting it? “Shit! I have to help.”

“You can’t! It’s dangerous!” Spike said, his fear of me and upset momentarily forgotten as I stormed towards the door, and he moved to block my way. “They don’t need help!”

“The hell they don’t,” I hissed, staring down at him as I tried to move to the side and get past him. “Get out of my way.”

“No, you’ll get hurt!” Spike said, shifting to block me again.

I laughed harshly, rolling my eyes. “Oh, Spike, buddy, if you think that’s going to make me stop and reconsider, you’ve got another thing coming.”

Spike grit his teeth. “You can’t go. They don’t need help, I promise!”

I reached down and physically picked Spike up. He was much heavier than I’d guessed he’d be, but it wasn’t that much of an issue. He winced, flinching away from me as I moved him to Rarity’s bed and dropped him unceremoniously on top of it. I spoke, hoping my tone conveyed the levels of don’t-give-a-fuck I was feeling. “I’m not going to let you stop me, so you stay here, because if you get in my way again, I’m going to roll over you. Got it?” I didn’t wait to hear what he said, turning on my heel and running down the stairs.

“Jake!” I heard him cry out, but I ignored him. Not only had he been lying to me, but he’d been lying about Rarity’s safety to me. Rarity made him lie, even. And she’d put that stupid hat on my head. That stupid, magic cowboy hat. I bet she’d even lied about it looking good on me. What else was she going to say? Of course it was fine, because she needed it to be fine, because otherwise her little ruse was sunk.

I was pissed. I threw open the door to the boutique and rushed into Ponyville proper, following the sound of roaring cries and explosions through the town. It wasn’t particularly hard to follow the sounds. A monster? And Rarity was fighting it? What the hell were the guards even for, if their fucking seamstresses and Book Princesses had to do their fighting for them? I idly cursed the fact that I’d let Celestia store my gun in the palace. I’d have to make do with… something. I’d improvise. Wouldn’t be the first time. I’d been in my fair share of brawls.

I rounded a corner as the buildings began to thin out, going past a group of spooked ponies that screamed as I approached and scattered into various buildings. Beyond was a big forest, and right in an open field, between the town and the forest, was… a fucking, goddamn, honest-to-god monster. I froze in place, my jaw dropping as I took in the scene.

A hydra—a massive, five-headed, motherfucking hydra—was stomping around, heads snapping and raging. Snakelike eyes, yellow and red, darting about, following a blue and rainbow blur that swirled around its heads in acrobatic maneuvers. Other heads tracked a bouncing, flouncing, candyfloss-pink pony that laughed as she narrowly avoided snapping jaws and drooling maws. Before the beast, Twilight Sparkle and Rarity stood, horns glowing with magic, and a yellow pegasus pony with a pink mane cowered behind them, wings folded and trembling as the beast roared. Twilight’s horn flared, and a burst of pink magic exploded near a hydra head, dazzling the creature with the bright light and concussive force. Next to Twilight, an orange earth pony with a blonde mane was preparing a lasso, her face set in a determined grimace as she shook out the rope with her mouth.

I needed a plan, and I needed one about thirty seconds ago. I looked around frantically for something to grab and use as a weapon. There was a nearby house, with a garden. I ran towards it, going around the side and spotting a little garden shed. I pulled open the shed door, revealing a shovel, a rake, and a watering can. I grabbed the shovel. “God, I miss America,” I said, pining for easy firearm access, and I ran back around the house towards the hydra.

I took a wide berth of the monster, rushing across the field to the side of the hydra, and then I swallowed the lump in my throat and started yelling. “Hey! HEY! Over here, you huge scaly bastard!”

Five snakelike heads snapped towards me, and six pony heads turned to regard me with surprise. I managed not to piss myself, and I waved the shovel. “Yeah, asshole, come on! Over here!”

“Jake, what are you doing?!” shouted Rarity.

“Saving your tiny pony hides!” Probably, I didn’t add.

“Dude, you’re pissing it off!” shouted the blue blur, which slowed down enough for me to make out a blue pegasus with a rainbow colored mane. Did she dye it? Not the time, brain!

“Great, that’s the plan!” I shouted back, pointing my shovel at the hydra as it turned its body to face me. “Yeah, we’re talking about you, snake eyes! You wanna pick on some ponies? Gonna have to pick on me, first!”

“Jake! We’re trying to calm it down!” Twilight shouted.

Oh. Well, shit. The hydra’s eyes narrowed, and two heads glanced at each other, as if seeking confirmation that I was, indeed, as stupid as I appeared to be. Pink, fleshy creature, armed with nothing but a shovel, and completely by itself? My plan sucked about as bad as getting eaten was going to, but at least I wouldn’t have to live down the humiliation. I gathered my nerves, glaring at the hydra across the field. “Well, come on, then, if you think you’re hard enough!”

The hydra charged, Rarity screamed, and I started running away from it, hoping to lead it away from Rarity and the other ponies. I glanced over my shoulder, trying to gauge the distance. It was fast, but not spectacularly so, and I could probably juke it if I was quick about changing my pace and turning quickly. Blue eyes suddenly blocked my view. “Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie!”

“Augh!” I almost tripped, but managed to recover, and kept my footing as the pink pony matched my pace, bouncing along merrily as if this was some kind of grand game. “Not the time for introductions!” I gasped out as the hydra started to gain on me.

“I think it’s always a great time for introductions!” the pink pony, Pinkie Pie, said with a giggle and an extra-bouncy bounce that put her in line with me. “I’m Pinkie Pie, and you should dodge left!”

I jumped left, just as one hydra head snapped closed right where I’d been. That was close. Pinkie Pie leapt after me, and I swore that she turned around briefly and booped the hydra head’s snout as she went past it. “And now we go right! Big jump!”

I dropped my shovel as I followed her right, tucking my head down and rolling like I’d done a million times, extending my roll out and leaping to my feet, maintaining momentum. I didn’t need to look back to feel the hot breath of another hydra head, or hear the snapping of teeth as it missed me by inches. “Holy shit!” I screamed, putting on a burst of speed as I juked left and then right again, following Pinkie Pie’s curly tail as she bounced around the hydra, laughing. “You’re insane!” I gasped.

Pinkie Pie looked over her shoulder with a hurt expression. “I’m just different!”

“Insane good! Not bad insane!” I shouted, hoping that I didn’t throw her off whatever game she was playing with the long odds of me not getting eaten in the next minute.

“Oh! Well then, thank you!” She said, beaming as she spun around, reaching out and grabbing me around the middle with both forelegs.

“Not the time for hugs!” I shouted as the hydra roared beside us.

“This isn’t a hug! It’s a rescue operation!” Pinkie shouted back, and she lifted me up off my feet and spun around, her strength way beyond anything I expected. She pirouetted, her back legs kicking off the ground, and she bounced a mighty bounce, pulling me along with her. Behind us, all five hydra heads smashed into the ground where we had just been standing.

Pinkie had gotten us out of the way, but now we were past the apex of her jump, and I was about to pancake her as I landed. I tucked my shoulder and grabbed Pinkie, changing her fall into another roll that got me on my feet with the pink pony in my arms. Pinkie blinked up at me and grinned. “Oh! My hero!”

“Not the time!” I said, running with Pinkie Pie towards Twilight, Rarity, and the other ponies with them.

“You’ve said that three times already! C’mon, we want creative dialogue!” Pinkie Pie said, giggling at my confused expression.

I really wanted to ask some questions, but I had bigger, five-headed things to worry about, so I dropped Pinkie Pie on her hooves. “Why aren’t we running?!” I asked as I arrived in line with the six mares.

“Well, we had a plan, but we’re reconsidering!” Twilight said.

I eyed the hydra as it turned about and came stomping towards all of us. “Keep running seems like a good plan?”

“I reckon not. We can still get this thing, y’all just stay back,” the orange earth pony said, grinning around the lasso rope in her teeth. She was wearing a brown stetson atop her blonde mane. A cowgirl pony?

I frowned, “No, I’m not going to let you g—”

“Jake! Stay here!” Rarity shouted at me, glaring. I’d never seen her so serious, and it gave me pause.

“Please, Jake, trust us!” Twilight said, turning to look at me with an equally serious look.

I nodded once, and they turned as one to face the oncoming Hydra. “Rainbow Dash!” Twilight shouted.

“On it!” the blue pegasus said, leaping into the sky and flying close circuits around the hydra’s head. The hydra roared, snapping at her, but she was always a few feet ahead of the beast, almost too fast to follow.

“Pinkie!”

“Wheee!” Pinkie Pie cheered, prancing back amongst the hydra’s snapping jaws, distracting it and confounding it further.

“Applejack!”

The cowgirl pony said nothing, simply grit her teeth, twirled her lasso, and threw it with expert aim. It looped around one of the hydra’s heads, settling on its neck. Applejack pulled the rope tight.

“Rarity!”

Rarity’s horn lit up, and she grabbed the end of the rope in her blue magic. As quick as I’d seen her work with any needle, she threaded the rope through and around the hydra’s other heads, roping them together like a misshapen garment that she pulled taught after a rapid series of maneuvers that brought all five heads crashing together.

Twilight didn’t call out another name, but her horn lit up, and the whole rope that was tied around the hydra glowed brightly with her violet magic, and I could see the rope become rigid and strong. The hydra’s heads were stuck, totally immobile.

“Fluttershy?” Twilight called, her teeth clenched and her wings flaring open with the exertion of holding the hydra still.

The little yellow pegasus with the pink mane stood up shakily from where she’d been cowering, and she timidly approached the hydra. I watched, wondering what she could possibly do. She floated up on delicate wings, getting in view of the hydra’s five heads. The yellow, slitted eyes regarded her with anger. The pegasus pony cleared her throat, and then she bellowed, “That’s enough out of you, mister!”

The hydra froze, all its eyes locked on her and wide with surprise. I’m certain I had a similar expression on my face. The yellow pegasus, Fluttershy, continued, her voice firm and steady. “I know that it’s hydra mating season, and you’re very upset that you’re alone, but that is no excuse to come rampaging into town and ruining everypony’s nice day! You need to go back to your bog and think about what you’ve done.”

The hydra’s five heads all nodded emphatically, as much as they were able to with the rope holding them still, and Fluttershy floated back down to the ground. She pointed one hoof towards the forest. “Shoo!”

Twilight’s horn flashed, and the rope uncoiled itself from the hydra. The hydra wasted no time, turning and rushing back into the forest, presumably to whatever horrific bog it had come from. I managed to pick my jaw up off the floor, and I stared at the six mares as they all breathed a sigh of relief.

Spike was right. They’d handled it. They’d totally handled it. Not only had they managed to subdue the hydra, but by how they’d done things, this wasn’t even the first time. They were… a team. A well-oiled machine of cooperation. Complimentary skills. They were partners. “... What the hell was all that?” I said, finally, turning to look at Rarity.

Rarity turned to look at me, shocked. “Jake! What were you thinking?! Running into danger like that?”

“You were the ones in danger!” I protested, even though I instantly knew that was an incorrect assessment of the situation.

“We certainly were in no such danger! Not enough to warrant that foolish display of misplaced chivalry!” Rarity countered immediately. “What are you even doing here?!”

“Spike told me that you were fighting a fucking monster, so I figured, I dunno, maybe I’d come and make sure you weren’t getting killed!” I said, my words dripping with sarcasm and exasperation.

“Language! Also, why in Equestria would Spike tell you something he knew would send you rushing off?! I told him—” Rarity began, but my spiteful laugh cut her short and made her eyes widen in surprise.

“Oh, Spike told me, all right. Maybe I had to lean on him a little bit, and he did his best, but you sent a child to do your dirty, lying work, Rarity. I’d be insulted, if it didn’t mean that we could have it all out in the open, now. Which brings me back to my original question of what the hell was all that? You fight monsters?!”

“Yes! We fight monsters!” Rarity said, gesturing back towards the forest. “We’ve fought dozens of monsters! It’s not really as big a deal as you’re making it out to be!”

I turned to look at Twilight, who was talking on the side with the four other mares. “Twilight, how long have you known Rarity fights monsters? When were you going to tell me about that one?!”

“This conversation is none of her business!” Rarity shouted, stomping one hoof. “This is between us, and I’d thank you not to bring my friends into this!”

“They’re all pretty much into this, Rarity. They’re all complicit. Why didn’t you tell me what was going on? That you fight monsters with enough apparent regularity to have a whole team for fighting goddamn monsters?” I shouted back.

“I didn’t want you to worry about me!” Rarity said.

“So you thought it was a good idea to run back and forth between a huge fight and playing house with Spike and I?” I stated, throwing my hands out wide to try to encompass the enormity of how stupid of a plan that was.

Rarity scowled. “I didn’t want you to worry because I was afraid you’d react in just this manner! I am not a damsel that needs rescuing, Jake! I can take care of myself!”

“Great, I’m glad, but while you’re out here taking care of yourself, you left me back at the boutique with Spike, who was lying to me about all kinds of bizarre things. I got him to tell me, though, and that’s a whole other fucking story that you’re gonna have to deal with. You collect ‘bad ponies’? You fight monsters? Who the hell are you, Rarity?”

Rarity’s ears went flat, and she flashed a concerned glance towards the town. “That’s something to discuss later. Where is Spike?”

“Back at the boutique,” I said, gesturing over my shoulder. “Don’t worry, though, because you left him to lie to me, I only had to traumatize him a little bit to get him to tell me what was going on. So, feeling heroic now? Because I sure feel like a huge piece of shit.” I spat, glaring down at her.

Twilight gasped, and then took off at a run towards the boutique, Applejack and Fluttershy following her. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash shared a concerned look but stayed where they were, watching me. Rarity stared up at me, eyes narrowing. “You should go.”

“Gladly,” I said, turning away and walking towards the middle of the field. I picked up the shovel from where I’d dropped it, stomped back to the shed where I’d stolen it from, and tossed it unceremoniously inside. I didn’t need ‘theft’ topping off the shit sandwich this day had turned into.

Pinkie Pie appeared next to me, trotting along and staring up at me with concerned blue eyes. “Hey, wait!”

“Not the time,” I muttered, walking towards the train station.

“Boy, that must be your new catchphrase!” Pinkie Pie said, smiling. When I didn’t react, she looked even more concerned. “Jake! Please?”

Despite my inner voices telling me to tell her to fuck off, I continued towards the train station. “You’ve got until I get a ticket on the next train out to talk to me.”

Pinkie Pie kept talking as I walked. “I know you’re super duper mad at Rarity right now, but I promise, she only wanted to keep you safe! She told us about how you lived a really hard life, and she didn’t want to turn over the new leaf you’d turned over when you came here!”

“Lying isn’t the answer,” I said.

“You’re right! It isn’t, and I know she’s mad right now, and you’re mad right now, but… she’s sorry. I know she is!” Pinkie Pie said, staring up at me emphatically.

“Sorry doesn’t fix things,” I replied, glancing over my shoulder towards the boutique. “You should go. Spike is going to need cheering up or something. You’re friends with him, right?”

“Yeah, but, I’m friends with you, too!” Pinkie Pie said, bouncing to emphasize her point.

“Are we friends? I’m pretty sure we just met,” I said, not caring if I sounded rude.

“So? We also totally fought a hydra together, and I saved your cutie patootie at least three times, and you were totally great at making sure I didn’t hurt my cutie patootie saving your patootie! That’s three whole patooties we have in common!”

I stopped, staring at Pinkie Pie for a second. “... Sure. You’re insane.”

“Insane good?” Pinkie said, grinning at me knowingly.

“Nope,” I stated calmly, and brushed past her. I wasn’t in the mood for friends or bizarre ponies at the moment. I honestly wanted to go home to Canterlot, lie down in bed, and not get up. I was exhausted, in more than one way. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Totally drained.

“I-im just different!” Pinkie said, pouting as she watched me walk away.

“Sure thing,” I muttered, and I walked up to the ticket counter. “One for Canterlot, please. Earliest train out.”

5a: Mornings Alone

View Online

I lay in bed and watched as the sun climbed the peaks of the distant mountains. Sleeping had proven impossible, because I couldn't stop replaying the day in my head, trying to find a way where the situation didn't end in betrayal. Where I didn't lose my damn mind and freak out Spike. Where I hadn't gotten into a fight with Rarity, or been an ass to Pinkie Pie, or any number of other things. There was a lot to think about, and all of that meant that my mind couldn't simply turn off. Perhaps I'd caught a few minutes here and there, but I'd wake up within moments, my stomach in knots and my eyes stinging. Stress and anxiety kept me up, because I knew that I'd have to rise and face the music soon enough.

My return to the castle had been uneventful—likely because I'd gone directly to my room and ignored everypony—and I'd spent the evening doing... nothing. I skipped dinner, declining the offer from a curious Corporal Sapphire to pick me up something and bring it to my room, and when Corporal Dusky had checked in on me, I'd pretended to be asleep. I'm not sure how well I pretended, and I don't think Dusky had bought it, but he'd had the grace to not press the issue.

There was a knock on my door, and I sat up as it was pushed open. I suppressed my irritation as much as I could, putting my face into a neutral position, and tried to resist the urge to tell whomever was walking in to fuck off. Dusky Roads entered, a stern look on his face and a wooden tray in his mouth. On the tray was a sliced, bright-yellow fruit that my nostrils immediately identified as a mango. The smell was unmistakable, and my mouth watered despite my stoic expression. Dusky's expression matched my own, as he marched over to my bed and set the tray with the fruit on it on my lap before I could voice a protest. I raised an eyebrow, peering down at the sliced mango, before looking up at him. I opened my mouth, but Dusky held up a hoof. "Hush. Listen, H'syn'shym. This is a Nymlmlm. A mango. My people believe it brings luck and strength when eaten. It was a rare delicacy, due to the difficulty we had in procuring it. Our return to Equestria meant that we gained easy access to this fruit, but we still believe it is special."

I looked down at the platter, and then back up at the sarosian, frowning. "Why'd you bring me a mango?"

Dusky raised an eyebrow at me, and stated evenly, "H'luun said you were troubled. She saw your dreams, brief flashes though they were. I took the initiative to deliver it to you."

I nodded once, reaching down and picking up a slice of mango and bringing it up to my nose. I inhaled the smell, my eyes closing. Mango was popular in the places where I'd spent most of my adult life, and the tangy scent brought back a few pleasant memories. I took a bite, the sweet and tart flavor hitting my mouth, the acid burning lightly as it touched my tongue, and I swallowed. It was a little on the unripe side, but I didn't let that dissuade me, finishing the slice and setting the skin down on the plate. I looked up at Dusky and nodded. "Thank you."

Dusky smiled and patted me on the shoulder, then walked back out of my room, closing the door on his way out. I was grateful for him, immediately. He'd never asked me about my problems, never presumed to give me advice. He simply made his gesture of support, and then he was done. He didn't know what was wrong or why, but he'd given me something he felt would help.

I finished off the sliced mango within a few minutes, taking the time to savor the fruit's flavors and the warm feeling Dusky had left with me. I could hear murmuring outside, and the sound of armor moving and shod hooves tapping away down the hall. The shifts had switched, obviously, which meant that Sapphire was probably—

Sapphire Spirit peeked her head in, peering across the room at me. She smiled uncertainly. "You awake?"

I stared at her evenly. She blushed, "Just checking on you. You didn't get hurt or anything the other day, did you?"

I shrugged. "No."

"Mmhmm... well, just so you know, we've all been briefed on what happened. You kinda messed up the leeway the princesses gave you by letting you go alone to Ponyville, and Celestia is pretty upset," Sapphire said, stepping into the room, "but I'm sure that a lot of what happened was a big miscommunication."

"Yes. If you can call 'being lied to by your best friend and treated like somebody that can't take care of themselves' a big miscommunication, then that is exactly what happened," I said, rolling my eyes and flopping back on the bed. "God damn it, Sapphire. I didn't think you ponies had a duplicitous bone in your tiny horse bodies, but that assumption sure bit me in the ass."

Sapphire frowned. "What are you talking about? You attacked a hydra and almost got yourself killed!"

"I attacked a hydra because I saw Twilight and Rarity and a bunch of ponies getting attacked by a hydra. You guys may be a lot of things, but ass-kickers isn't exactly the first thing that comes to mind," I said.

"But, come on, Jake! It was the Elements of Harmony! They handle stuff like that all the time!" Sapphire protested, stomping one hoof.

I sat up in bed, staring at her. "Elements of... what?!" I leaned forward, glaring at her. "Wait, you knew that Rarity was some kind of... monster hunter?! And you didn't say anything?"

Sapphire stared at me, her mouth open. "... You didn't know?"

"No, Sapphire. I didn't know. How could I have possibly known that the pony that I was spending so much time with was anything more than a famous fashion designer?" I said, exasperatedly rubbing my forehead as I felt a headache coming on.

"B-but, you spent so much time with Twilight and Rarity! They never said anything?"

"Twilight was more interested in studying me, and Rarity had plenty of opportunity, but she never said a single word about being a... whatever she is!" I spat.

Sapphire shook her head, sitting down. "Why... why wouldn't Rarity say anything to you about being an Element of Harmony? That doesn't make any sense!"

"What the hell is an Element of Harmony?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"They're... they're heroes! They fight monsters, take on threats, and use the power of their friendship to overcome any obstacle! Jake, they've saved Equestria several times, putting themselves in harms' way to deal with the worst of the worst." Sapphire sighed, her ears drooping. "We've had to rely on them to save us. They even saved my life when Changelings attacked Canterlot and almost overran the capitol. They're incredible."

I stared at her, and shook my head, my confusion adding to the headache. "So... Twilight and Rarity and those other four ponies are... big damn heroes? World-saving, monster-fighting, ass-kicking heroes?"

"Pretty much... though it's less about ass-kicking and more reliant on their bonds of friendship to activate powerful magic that lets them handle the really bad stuff... though they also work as a team to deal with plenty of other problems, bringing harmony across Equestria and even beyond our borders. How you never heard about them is... pretty surprising, especially considering all the time you spent with Rarity!"

I shook my head. "No. She never said a damn thing. So, when I hear that Rarity's dealing with some kind of monster—"

"You ran in and nearly got killed trying to save her. Of course. This... all makes sense, now. You're not the kind to jump in with some half-assed plan and need saving, Jake. You're smart. You've seen action. It all sounded totally bizarre when we were briefed on what happened, but now it's pretty clear that there was a lot that you didn't know."

I sighed. "Great. Well, who do I need to see to get this cleared up? Because I'm not really keen on getting in trouble because somepony decided it was in my best interest to tell me nothing about their side-gig as a damn monster hunter."

"Princess Celestia. She's going to summon you to the day court soon, but I don't think she expected you to be up so early, so you've got a little time. Maybe you can head this whole mess off and see her personally?"

I grit my teeth. "Yeah, more stress sounds great right now, but putting it off seems like a bad idea." I stood up. "All right, let's do this."

Sapphire blinked up at me, her eyes darting down a few times, and she smirked. "Awfully confident for a guy with no pants on."

I glanced down and rolled my eyes, "Look at me, I'm going native." I snagged my pants off the floor and pulled them on, deciding that I didn't give a damn if Sapphire saw me dressing. Sapphire chuckled, and I held up a hand, cutting off another undoubtedly sarcastic remark. "No. Shush, pony. Just take me to Celestia. Let's get this over with."

Sapphire raised an eyebrow. "Jake, let me put this as kindly as I can: you're a mess. I'm not going to let you waltz into Celestia's morning tea time with your mane a mess, half-dressed, and unshowered. Nopony wants that, no matter how cute your bed-head look is."

I frowned. "Fine, I'll clean up. But not for Celestia! I'm doing it in the vain hope that I'll feel less like death after a shower and shave."

"Sure, whatever makes you feel better," Sapphire said. She turned to the door and made to move back outside, but she stopped and glanced over her shoulder, biting her lower lip briefly. "Jake?"

"Hm?" I turned to look at her.

"I really hope you can figure things out with Rarity," she said, her ears going flat, and then she walked out into the hall and closed the door.

I looked down at the floor, having no response, and headed for the shower. I had to deal with Princess Celestia, first, and then Twilight and Spike. Spike deserved an apology, if he'd accept it. Probably Pinkie Pie, too, considering how rude I'd been to her after she saved my ass. I turned on the water, kicked off my pants, and climbed in, hoping that warm water and clean soap could make me feel a little better about things.

I walked down the halls of the palace, feeling slightly more human for my shower and clean clothes. Sapphire trotted beside me on my right, and to my left was a second guard. He was a taller unicorn stallion wearing the armor of the Elite Solar Guard, his coat and mane glamoured grey and white, with a grumpy frown on his face and yellow eyes that were focused and sharp. I watched him with a bit of interest, before looking over at Sapphire. "So, who's this stiff upper lip?"

Sapphire glanced over at the other guard, her face impassive, before shooting me a quick glare. "This is Major Scope, and he's been assigned to keep tabs on you by Princess Celestia."

I whistled, looking back over at Major Scope. "Wow. They assigned an officer to baby-sit me. Princess Celestia must have really taken a dim view of my recent screw-ups."

Major Scope didn't take the bait, his steps measured and his eyes forward. Sapphire grimaced, chuckling nervously and watching ahead of us as we approached Celestia's study. I stopped short of the door as Scope took the lead, suddenly, approaching the two guards at the door. They both saluted him, and he returned the gesture. "My charge wishes to meet with Princess Celestia. Let Miss Raven know, and we can organize a proper meeting into her schedule."

I frowned. "Major, I have an open invitation from the Princess for 'unscheduled' breakfast visits."

Major Scope's scowl deepened slightly, a feat that I didn't think was possible, and he ignored me as one of the guards slipped into the room. I crossed my arms and tapped my foot. The door opened a few moments later, and Raven Inkwell stepped out into the hallway. She cleared her throat as Major Scope gave her a respectful nod, and gestured to me. "Princess Celestia will see him now, Major. Thank you. You may wait outside, or you are at liberty for the next half-hour to get breakfast or some coffee."

Major Scope nodded and took up a post beside one of the guards outside Celestia's study, a move that made the guard beside him stiffen up and straighten his back. I smirked at Major Scope and stuck out my tongue, and the grumpy guard pony's eyes narrowed at my childish antics. I didn't give much thought to his disapproval, considering I had more pertinent problems at hand. I stepped into the study, smiling at Raven as I passed her. She frowned and followed me into the room, closing the door behind us and trotting over to the desk, her horn glowing as she picked up a quill with her magic and resumed work on something. Celestia sat on a cushion in the middle of the study, her head bent low as she sipped some tea. Her regalia was on and polished, and her crown perched atop her head, right behind her regal horn. I smiled at her. "Hello, Celestia."

Celestia regarded me coolly for a moment, and then gestured to a cushion opposite her. "Sit."

Her tone brooked no argument, and I knew instantly that this was not going to be the friendly visit I'd hoped for. I sat down, adjusting myself to be comfortable. Celestia watched me silently for a moment, waiting until I was still, before she spoke. "I hope that you have an exceptionally profound explanation for your behavior yesterday."

I swallowed. "Yes, Princess. I assume that Twilight told you everything she knows about yesterday?"

"Princess Twilight informed me of your actions, yes," Celestia stated evenly, sipping at her tea, her eyes piercing me.

I winced. This was getting more and more formal. Whatever good graces I'd earned, my mistakes had obviously diminished significantly. I inhaled slowly, collecting my thoughts. Celestia seemed content to allow me a moment. I finally spoke, deciding that the direct approach was best. "There's no excuses, Princess." Celestia arched one regal brow at my declaration, but said nothing, so I continued. "I reacted exceptionally poorly when I discovered that Spike had been lying to me at Rarity's behest, and Spike bore the brunt of my frusturation and hurt. He didn't deserve that, and I will do my best to make it right. I... have dealt with liars in the past, Princess, and lies tended to get me or people that I worked with hurt. I shouldn't have had such a strong reaction, especially in light of Spike's age, but I hope you can accept that there was... an irrational part of my mind that took over. One concerned with fight or flight."

I paused, giving Celestia an opening to address anything I'd said, and she took it. "I am very disappointed in your reaction, even if I can appreciate that you were acting on instincts formed from a life of trauma. I expect you to take measures to make a proper apology to Spike, and I wouldn't expect forgiveness to come easily. You shook him quite deeply."

I nodded, grimacing to myself at the memory of Spike's tear-stained face. "Of course, Princess. I am fully at fault for my reaction, and anything you deem necessary as... reparation for my actions, I'll accept. But I'd prefer to discuss things with Spike, first. He deserves a direct apology, and hopefully he'll let me explain myself."

"Good. Now, Pinkie Pie asked after you, despite your behavior towards her, and encouraged me not to be upset on her behalf. I will grant her request... but know this: you have revealed a bad habit of lashing out at ponies that seek to help you when you are hurt. You should strive to curb that habit, as it will do you no favors in Equestria," Celestia said.

I sighed. "Pinkie Pie... was very kind to me, but I was too upset to give her the time she deserved."

Princess Celestia nodded. "It's a mistake many ponies make with her, and to their detriment."

"Yeah. She saved my life. I owe her, big time. I'll be certain to apologize to her as well, as soon as I've apologized to Spike."

Celestia held up a hoof. "Speaking of your life, you understand how incredibly lucky you are to have walked away from that encounter unscathed, don't you?" Celestia allowed the point to hang, before she sighed, shaking her head. "You have a warrior's spirit, but Equestria wages very little war these days. Do what you can to avoid taking on creatures you don't understand, especially unprepared, and remember that there are approaches other than violent ones that you can take."

"I'll... do my best. But, please, I hope you can understand, when I walked onto that field, I didn't know what was happening. I saw Twilight, and Rarity, and those other four ponies, and I saw the hydra... I didn't know who they were. I just saw ponies—ponies I care about—in danger. I wanted to help."

Celestia stared at me for a moment, her eyes widening slightly. "You didn't know about Princess Twilight and her friends?"

"No. Apparently they're... heroes. The Elements of Harmony, Sapphire called them. I hadn't ever been told. Twilight never brought it up, which I can understand considering most of our interactions have been, ah, scientific in nature. Rarity, though... she purposefully kept this from me, Celestia," I said, hoping that Celestia could hear my hurt at this revelation.

Celestia frowned. "Purposefully?"

"Yes. She hid the fact that she was dealing with the hydra from me, and had Spike lie to me about it. That's what set me off, Princess. If she'd been straight with me... well, I guess that doesn't matter, does it? Rarity's status isn't some state secret. It's apparently common knowledge that she's a hero... but she never told me any of that."

Celestia was quiet, looking down at her tea. After a moment, she looked back up at me. "I see. So, this situation is a case of poor communication between you and Rarity, along with some duplicity on her part. That's... troubling. Twilight mentioned that there was a misunderstanding, but your statement paints it in a different light entirely." Celestia turned to look over her shoulder at Raven. "Raven? Would you send Princess Twilight a summons? And ask her to bring Lady Rarity with her. We need to have a frank discussion about the circumstances of the hydra attack." I stiffened when Celestia said Rarity's name, and Celestia spotted my discomfort. "Do you not wish to confront Lady Rarity about this issue?"

"Honestly? No. Not today. I'm still pretty angry, Princess Celestia. I need a little space before I'm ready to deal with what happened between us," I said, hoping that she'd accept that.

Celestia nodded. "Very well," she said, and then she stood up, exhaling a long sigh, before she moved and sat beside me. A large white wing wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me into her side. "For what it's worth, Jake, even though I'm disappointed in you, I'm very glad you came and spoke with me. I was worried you wouldn't accept that you had acted poorly the other day... and knowing your reasoning behind your poor choices makes things easier to understand, even if it gives no excuse."

"I—" I swallowed, my voice catching in my throat as I leaned against the Princess. "I'm sorry for disappointing you. I owe you so much, and I can only recognize my behaviors and do better next time."

"Thank you, Jake," Celestia said, smiling gently down at me.

I looked down at my lap, shifting uncomfortably, and Celestia lifted her wing off my side, giving me a little space. I chuckled, shaking my head. "So... about Major Scope. Is he a permanent fixture of my little personal guard shift, or do you trust me enough to let me stick with Corporal Sapphire?"

Celestia smirked. "What, is he too stiff for your liking?"

"Stiff is a bit of an understatement. I think that frown is permanent."

Celestia giggled, "Mm, he's very serious when on duty, but he is a trustworthy pony and a kind soul, beneath the scowl. I suppose I can return him to his regular assignment," Celestia watched me grin victoriously, and then spoke quickly, "if you promise not to dodge Corporal Sapphire and Dusky Roads' supervision anymore, and you swear not to go throwing yourself into dangerous situations heedlessly."

I nodded. "Yeah, I can manage that. Sapphire and Dusky are... pretty much the only friends I have in Equestria. I know I give them grief, but it's typically in good fun."

"Well, after the stunt you pulled, 'good fun' or no, I need to know that you are being kept safe. You are still so new to Equestria, and I would hate to lose you, Jake." Celestia said sternly.

I stood up and gave Celestia the lowest bow I could manage. "You have my word. No more dodging my guards. I'll even let Sapphire watch me shower."

Celestia rolled her eyes and shook her head, smirking. "You don't have to take it that far."

"But what if I slip on some soap?"

Celestia laughed, and gave me a shove with one gold-shod hoof. "Away with you! I have things to see to, today, and I think that we have come to an understanding. Let Major Scope know I wish to speak with him."

"Yes, Princess Celestia. Thank you," I bowed again, turned, and headed for the door.

Sapphire Spirit stood anxiously outside the study, and she looked at me questioningly as I exited the room. I smirked and gave her a thumbs up. She stared at my upraised thumb, her head tilting to the side like a confused cat. I chuckled. "We're good."

Sapphire smiled. "Good. I was worried."

I reached down, patting her shoulder. "Thanks, but I just owned up to my mistakes and explained myself as best I could, and Celestia... well, she's Celestia. She understood. She was disappointed in me, still."

Sapphire winced. "Oh Goddess, she gave you the 'disappointed' talk?"

"She did. I almost cried," I said, straightening up from my crouch.

"You poor bastard. Well, what's next on the agenda?" Sapphire said, smiling up at me.

"Breakfast, I think," I said as I started to head down the hall, but I immediately was reminded that Major Scope was still with us as he stepped out to follow us. "Oh, Major? Celestia wants to speak with you. Spoilers: you're off the hook."

Major Scope exhaled, relaxing suddenly. "Oh, thank Celestia," he mumbled as he about-faced and marched into the study to talk with the Princess.

Sapphire watched him go, and she giggled once he was out of sight. "I think that's the most emotion I've ever seen out of Major Scope."

"Let's hope we never have to see it again. C'mon, let's get some food." I headed down the hall, Sapphire at my side, feeling slightly better about the day ahead of me.

5b: Coffee Alone

View Online

I let out a yawn, stretching before sinking deeper into my jacket. The morning was cold, and I was exhausted after completing a night shift. The shift change had already passed, and Sapphire Spirit walked beside me, her head a bit low as she worked on waking up. She shook her head, causing her helmet to shift awkwardly, and I reached down and settled the heavy armor piece back into place. She smiled sleepily up at me. "Thanks, Jake."

"Mmhm," I hummed, my mind barely functioning. I needed Joe's best egg scramble and the darkest, richest cup of coffee he could manage. It had been a busy couple of days since my discussion with Princess Celestia. Sapphire, Dusky, and Luna had done me a favor by keeping me occupied through the whole ordeal, keeping my mind elsewhere. Between helping Sapphire work on maintaining her armor, Dusky teaching me little bits of the sarosian language, and working through a backlog of letters to Princess Luna for her, my mind had been too focused on other things to dwell on the failings of my friendship with Rarity. The hurt was always there, in the back of my mind, but it had grown dull with exhaustion.

I knew there were better ways to deal with the problem, but at the moment, not dealing was fine enough. I wanted a little space, and I had gotten it... but now, as the day wound down, it returned to the forefront of my mind. I didn't really know how to feel about everything. Rarity had lied to me, and it stung to think that she wouldn't tell me about what was, apparently, a pretty significant piece of her life. She and her friends were essentially superheroes, fighting evil and spreading friendship, and her reasons for saying nothing were... what? It didn't make sense to leave me in the dark, especially when she was about to do something dangerous. I sighed, looking down towards my feet, and felt a gentle nudge from Sapphire as she trotted next to me as she bumped her hip into my thigh. "You're getting moody again, Jake," she said, smirking up at me.

"Yeah, sorry. I just can't get my mind off of everything. You've been awesome, though, Sapphire," I said, smiling at her.

"Awesome? I thought I'd been working you hard!" Sapphire said, playing coy, though her growing grin told me she knew that her intent was clear.

"Don't pretend you don't know. I appreciate it. Really. You're a true friend," I said, winking at her.

Sapphire giggled, her wings fluffing out a bit with pride. "Yeah, we ponies are pretty good at the 'friendship' thing." I gave her a look, and she snorted. "Well, most of the time. Your situation is not normal, I swear."

"Nothing about my situation has ever been normal," I said with a sigh. We turned the corner and arrived in front of the diner, walking past the windows. I froze on the spot as I looked through the window to my regular table, feeling like cold water had been dumped on my head. Rarity was sitting there, with Twilight and Spike. Her blue eyes widened a bit as they met mine, and she turned to say something to Twilight and Spike, who looked up at me as well. I quickly turned around, only to be confronted by Sapphire.

"What?" she said, glancing around me to look through the window. "Oh," she amended, immediately spotting the issue, and looked back to me with a frown. "Well, it's a canny spot for an ambush, I'll give her that."

"I don't like ambushes," I muttered, moving to leave. There were other places to get coffee.

Sapphire held up a hoof, stopping me. "Hold on. Don't you think this is a great opportunity?"

"No, not really. Why, what do you think walking in there will accomplish?" I asked.

"You could talk and get this settled. This fight needs to get resolved, and I'll be honest: you've been miserable since everything happened in Ponyville. You either need to make up, or get closure, and you're only getting that by going and talking to Rarity, Twilight, and Spike," Sapphire said.

I sighed, shaking my head. "I don't know. I wanted to talk to her... to all of them, but this wasn't how I was planning on doing it. I'm exhausted, Sapphire."

Sapphire pointed behind me. "She is, too. Look at her, Jake. Really look."

I somewhat reluctantly turned to look back through the window of the diner, and my eyes met Rarity's once more. I tore my gaze from hers, noting the messy state of her coat, the loose curls in her mane and tail, and the slightly smudged makeup. She was a bit of a mess, and her ears drooped as she noticed me noticing. I closed my eyes, exhaling a long, hot breath filled with the anger I had been holding close. I nodded to Sapphire. "Okay."

"All right. I've got your back, Jake. No matter what," Sapphire said, her tone soft as she spread her wings open a bit.

The statement, though simple, bolstered me, and I walked towards the front doors, Sapphire at my side. We stepped into the cafe and were hit with the scent of fried food and strong brewing coffee. Margarine spotted me and trotted over, tossing me a cheeky grin on her way over. "Quite the harem you've assembled, mister. Still looking for a few good mares?" Marge said with an overly-saucy wink.

I smirked, despite the dark mood hanging over me. "Yeah, I need a gal that can make a strong pot of the darkest roast she's got, and a mountain of eggs. Know anypony?"

"Oh, I have one in mind," She said, turning and heading for the kitchen. "Seat yourself, hun!" she called over her shoulder as she went to put in my order.

"And some hayfries, please!" called Sapphire hopefully after her.

"I'll give 'em wings!" Marge replied as she disappeared through the doors to the kitchen.

Sapphire grinned happily, and I stood for a moment, allowing the ambiance of Joe's to sink in. I felt some of the tension bleed away simply by being in this place, and it gave me the last push I needed to stroll over to my usual table. Twilight, Spike, and Rarity sat together on one side of the table, Rarity having shifted herself to be beside her friends and make room for Sapphire and I. I stared at the three of them for a long moment, trying to figure out how to start. Sapphire, in the meantime, hopped up into a seat across from Twilight with a total lack of concern for the moment, sitting down with a happy sigh and taking off her helmet. The glamour on her coat and mane dissipated immediately, and she shook out her mane with a toss of her head. We all watched her, and I arched an eyebrow. She looked up at everyone, blinking owlishly. "What?"

I shook my head at her and spoke up. "Mind if we join you?"

"We were hoping you would," Twilight said, gesturing to the other open spot across the table from them. She smiled, but it was a bit strained. Rarity watched me intently, her eyes glancing from me, to Sapphire, to Spike and Twilight. Spike, for his part, sat quietly between Rarity and Twilight, his gaze fixed firmly on his lap.

I paused, watching Spike for a moment and feeling my heart sink a bit. I'd definitely damaged whatever relationship I'd briefly developed with him, perhaps irreparably, and I knew that he was the first person I wanted to talk to. "Thanks," I replied, sitting down. The seat put me firmly in front of Rarity, who gave me a small, careful smile. I returned it with a slow nod, and focused my attention on Twilight. "Princess, I—"

"Twilight, Jake. Please. This is a discussion between friends, not of subject and royalty. I hope that you feel that way, still, even after what happened," Twilight said, interrupting me.

"I don't know how to feel about all of that, really, with a few exceptions... Twilight," I said, speaking slowly and firmly. "I know that I did somebody here very, very wrong, and... well, I want to talk to Spike, first, if he's okay with that."

Spike looked up at me, his eyes widening a bit. "O-oh."

"Hey," I managed, swallowing hard. What could I say to him? "... I don't believe in 'sorry'. I don't think it fixes anything. It's just a stupid thing that people say when they don't think there's anything else to do or say, and it's rarely true. So, I'm not going to say sorry to you, Spike..." Spike looked up at me, confused, his eyes narrowing a bit. Twilight visibly bristled at my declaration, but I continued on doggedly. "What I will do is promise to do anything I can to make what I did to you right. Anything you want, or think, or whatever. You have my word."

Spike's eyes widened further at this, and spoke quietly. "Anything?"

"Anything. You don't have to decide now. You can ask whenever you like. So, you have that, and a promise that I won't ever, ever do that to you again. Threaten you, or... get scary like that. That's a part of me that I'm working to get rid of, and it came back because I was...angry, and scared. Does that make sense?" I asked, hoping he understood.

"Um... yeah. I guess. I mean, we've all done dumb stuff when we were mad, or scared. I know I have," Spike said, looking up at me and smiling slightly.

"Yeah," I said, nodding in agreement. "You don't have to forgive me, or anything like that. I'd honestly prefer you didn't, if it's all the same to you. I need to remember why I'm trying to change. Okay?"

"Well... okay. Yeah. I'll think about it, anyway." Spike agreed hesitantly.

I exhaled slowly. Twilight gently prodded Spike with one hoof. "Do you have anything you want to say to Jake, Spike?" she asked him.

"Well, yeah." Spike swallowed, looking up at me again and drawing in a deep breath. He closed his eyes as he started speaking. "You really scared me, and it really hurt. I've only ever been really scared by bad stuff... bad ponies, or monsters, and you... well. I wanted to be friends... but I might wait to get to know you and trust you again before we call each other that."

His declaration was like a punch to the gut, and I took a deep breath in before speaking. "Okay. That's more than fair. And I'll do whatever you think is right to earn that trust back. Fair?"

"Yeah," Spike said, nodding, and peeking open one eye to look up at me. "You're... not mad?"

My gaze softened. "No."

"O-oh. Well... good." Spike squirmed in his seat, and spoke up again. "Also, I'm sorry for lying to you."

"You're not the one that should be apologizing for that," Rarity spoke up, placing a hoof gently on his back.

I turned to her, frowning. "Yes, you're more than forgiven for that, Spike," I said to the little dragon, even though my focus had already shifted away from him.

"Jake," Rarity began, reaching up one hoof absentmindedly to brush it through her mussed mane. "I... don't even know where to begin."

"I have thoughts," I muttered.

Twilight interrupted me quickly, her voice sharply cutting me off. "Hold on, now. She's trying to sort it out, Jake. Don't bite her head off. We've been going through everything that happened, and Princess Celestia and I had a long conversation with her about her lies of omission. She's explained herself to me, and you'll get to hear it for yourself... but it's my turn to talk."

Rarity and I both faced Twilight, and she reached one wing out and brought Spike in close to her side with it. "You threatened Spike. Even if you've told him you'll make it right, you and I need to have a talk, too. I'm the closest thing he has to a big sister or mother in this world, and I'm responsible for him and his well-being, which you damaged with your... outburst!" Twilight placed both hooves on the table, leaning forward. "You also were rude to my friends, and—Rarity excepted—they didn't do anything to deserve that kind of treatment," Twilight added. "So, before you and Rarity get this mess figured out, you have to promise that you'll be returning to Ponyville in the next few days to apologize to them... or make it right, or whatever you need to do. They all want to give you a chance to explain yourself and make it up to them, if you are willing."

I leaned back a little, surprised by the force in Twilight's voice. "Yes, of course." I'd planned on doing that, anyway.

"Also, all that talk about apologies being empty... I don't know where you learned that, but it's wrong. If you are sincere, then it's the best first step anypony can make towards making things right. I think this is a perfect opportunity for you to learn that saying you're sorry can be a genuine expression. You know what you can do for me to make things right?" Twilight placed one hoof on top of Spike's head gently. "You can apologize to Spike."

I paused, taken aback by her request. "... If you think it will help."

Twilight frowned. "This is a piece of your old life that you need to let go. We're sincere in the things we say, here in Equestria. We're not just seeking to lie or speak empty words. I know that you probably received many empty apologies with no action behind them in your life before now, but all three of us are here to show you that this will be different. That we are different."

I considered her words for a few long moments, before nodding slightly. "All right... I trust you, Twilight." I focused my attention to Spike. "Spike, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you this earlier, but I am very sorry for how I acted. And my offer still stands: Anything you need me to do to make it right, and I'll do it."

Spike smiled at me in a much more genuine way. "Thanks, Jake... it means a lot to hear you apologize."

"Good!" Twilight said, snorting once in anger, before she inhaled and blew out a long breath. "Good," she said again, but more gently. "Thank you."

We were all quiet again, and Marge took the moment to swoop in with a mug of coffee and a plate of eggs for me, and a basket of hayfries for Sapphire. She topped off the coffee with a smile on her face, but said nothing. I had too much in my head to do more than give her a nod of thanks as I took a sip of the coffee. I barely tasted it, but the effect was instantaneous, bringing my mind a bit of clarity from the fog. I began picking at my eggs, not really feeling hungry, but it gave me something to do with my hands.

Twilight cleared her throat. "I've said my piece, and as long as you're planning on coming to Ponyville, then I feel like we can really put this behind us... except for this last bit." Twilight closed her eyes, collecting her thoughts, before she looked at me and her ears drooped back. "I feel partially responsible for what happened in Ponyville the other day. I know I mentioned my friends, and that we were close, but it just never occurred to me that we'd need to discuss things like how we... well... how we're the Elements of Harmony. I don't like to think of ourselves as that, because our friendship and bond goes far beyond just that one aspect, but it's an important aspect. Something that we all deal with in our own way. For some of us, like Applejack, it's no big thing... for others, like Rainbow Dash, it's something she's eager to boast about. Rarity..." Twilight stopped, and looked to her friend at her side.

Rarity inhaled a shaky breath, and then spoke. "Far be it from me to call myself humble in this moment, but I do not speak of it often because... well... being a hero has never done me any favors when it came to personal relationships," Rarity's voice was quiet, apologetic. I frowned, and her ears fell flat in what presumably was embarrassment or sadness. "I have had suitors call on me before, Jake, and often they do so not for who I am, but the power I represent and the connections I possess. I have been led on a few times, only to discover these ulterior motives, and the experiences left me hurting. To be chased by a stallion, to give your heart, only to find that they are less interested in you and more interested in the things you represent?" Rarity sighed, looking down at her hooves that were crossed in front of herself. She drew her forelegs in, almost hugging herself. "The day I met you, I relished the wit and companionship you offered, and knew that there couldn't possibly be any strings attached. It gave me hope that a stallion... a man... could be interested in me for who I am."

"So you lied," I said slowly.

"Yes. I lied because I couldn't bear the idea of you being interested in me for my position, and then I never told the truth because I feared you would be scared away if it came to light that I was more than a popular designer... and then I lied because the lie had gone on for so long, that telling the truth would have damaged our relationship if it was not done with careful explanation and tact." Rarity sighed. "I failed at that quite spectacularly, which perhaps is my just desserts, as t'were."

I shrugged. "So, that's it, then?"

"No, that is certainly not 'it'. It is my explanation, certainly, but I haven't yet begun to apologize for how I acted." Rarity leaned back a bit, seeming to brace herself. "I deceived you, Jake. I omitted the truth at first out of fear, and then continued because I was afraid that the lies had gone on too long to be able to be explained. I had ideas, but when you arrived on the same day that the hydra wandered into Ponyville, I panicked. I completely lost my mind for fear of the truth, and I acted in the vain hope of preserving our friendship... even if that friendship was one built on a lie at the core. It was wrong, disgusting behavior, and I can't hope to say enough to explain the depth of my... self-loathing for how I acted. I haven't been able to sleep, eat, or work since it all fell apart. I've been sick knowing that I failed you as a friend, Jake, and I am truly sorry for it."

I sat quietly, observing her as she spoke, watching for other lies, trying to gauge her and her sincerity. I leaned back as well, looking down at my hands that were clasped together in my lap. My knuckles had gone white from the tension, and I tried to relax a bit, letting out a long breath. Sapphire reached one hoof out and gave me a gentle pat on the knee, reassuring me with her presence, and I shot her a quick look of gratitude. "So, you lied because you'd been burned before by people choosing to chase what you represent. And that led to having to lie more... and so on, until it grew out of control and blew up." I shook my head. "I just... I'm still upset. I hope you don't expect me to just forgive you and move on. You've lost my trust."

Rarity bit her lip. "Of course, and I completely understand." She looked to be on the verge of tears. It hurt me to see her like that—physically causing my stomach to churn—and I realized that my feelings for this mare ran deeper than I'd thought. It helped to clarify some things, and I took a deep breath.

"I'm willing to give you a chance to make things right. After all that you did for me, and how I acted towards your friends, I wouldn't feel right to just leave it at that. They've all given me second chances. Spike gave me the opportunity to make things right, even though he got the worst of my behavior." I swallowed the lump in my throat and clenched my hands against my knees, willing them to stop shaking. I was over-emotional, and it was a struggle not to yell, or cry, or do something to let it all out. I felt out of control, and it was another gentle nudge from Sapphire, her shoulder against mine, that allowed me a bit of a release. I leaned against her for a moment, taking the offered strength. "I have good friends here that want me to find a resolution to this whole mess. I've been miserable, Rarity. It's been hard, and part of why it is hard is that you'd have been the pony I'd have gone to to help deal with this... but what am I supposed to do when the person that's been my best friend is the one that's causing me grief?" I ran a hand through my hair. "It's been shit without you. I'm upset that you're the one that did this, more than anything, because I've needed a friend these last few days, and you were my best friend."

Rarity nodded, tears spilling down her cheeks. I cursed under my breath and stood up. I needed to go. Half of me wanted to overturn the table, and the other half of me wanted to reach across the table and wipe away those tears. "I'll be in Ponyville in a few days. I need some time to calm down. It's still too fresh. I'm sorry." That was all I could manage before I was walking away.

"I'm sorry, too. I'll make it right, Jake," Rarity said behind me, and I turned and looked at her hard. She was still crying, her mane askew, unkempt and beautiful in the same moment. I nodded, and despite myself, I gave her a small smile. She smiled back, wiping at her cheeks with one fetlock that smeared her makeup without care.

I was halfway out the doors before I realized that I'd forgotten to pay, and I turned around to see Sapphire behind me, gesturing for me to go, her bit bag already out. I turned and left, walking the opposite way so I wouldn't have to walk by the window and see Rarity again. So she wouldn't have to see me again. I couldn't bear to see her crying, even if some little piece of me was glad that she was miserable. That little, ugly piece told me it was right, after the pain she'd caused me. I pushed that down and shook my head. "Damn it."

"Whew. That was something!" Sapphire chirped, trying to dissipate the tension a bit as she followed after me. I was moving fast, walking in long strides that made her trot to keep pace.

"Yeah. It was." I stopped in the middle of the street, turning to face her, and I knelt down. "Thanks for being there."

Sapphire smiled at me. "No problem, big guy. I said I'd have your back, no matter what."

"I'm glad I can trust you. I needed that. I don't know what I'd have done without you there, Sapphire." I reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, patting her armored back. "Seriously, thank you." Sapphire stepped forward into me and put an arm around my neck, pulling me into a hug. I was surprised, but it was a welcome comfort, and I returned it gladly. "Thank you," I whispered again. I didn't know when I started crying, but I quickly got it together and stood up, wiping my cheeks. "God damn it. I don't need to be breaking down in the middle of the street."

"You sure say that a lot. Is God, like, the alicorn equivalent where you're from?" Sapphire said, smirking up at me and ignoring my reddened eyes and wet face.

"Something like that, only way less present. I guess it depends on who you ask. He never did anything for me, anyway. It's just an expression," I said, glad for the change of subject.

"So, he's a dude?" Sapphire snorted with amusement. "No wonder he's a crappy alicorn. Mares are way better at that kind of thing." I laughed, and it felt amazing. My voice caught as the release almost made me start crying again and I stopped laughing, struggling with myself, trying to find a center. Sapphire grinned. "Sorry. Maybe not the time for humor?"

"No, it's good." I chuckled, shaking my head. "I mean... yeah... I dunno. There's lots of figures like God where I'm from. Many gods. It's just weird, because here in Equestria, you've got... well, real gods. Or whatever they are. I think Twilight mentioned somebody named Discord in my too-brief education on Equestria."

Sapphire groaned. "Oh, gosh, Discord. Yeah, he's a god, or something like it. He's a bit of an ass, if you ask me, and that's not just because he's part donkey. Also, don't say his name too loud, he likes attention."

I was mostly distracted. "Yeah, sure. I'll be sure not to say his name three times or whatever."

"Why three times?" Sapphire asked, tilting her head.

I paused, wondering how to explain a weird pop-culture reference. "Never mind, I just won't say his name at all."

"Probably for the best," Sapphire said with a nod. "He's bad news. Always messing with ponies."

"Yeah? So, why do Celestia and Luna tolerate him?" I asked, walking at a much slower pace towards the castle.

"Well, they didn't. He was a stone statue for a long time... almost a thousand years. But he broke free, and Princess Twilight and her friends stopped him... and then they reformed him. He's friends with those six, now, and he doesn't mess with ponies much anymore. Supposedly he turned over a new leaf. A few of us think that it's because he's in love with one of them... did you meet Fluttershy the other day?"

I considered the ponies I'd briefly met the other day. "'Meet' is a strong word. Fluttershy is the yellow one with the pink mane, right?"

"Yeah, that's the one. She keeps him in line, I guess. She was the one that really worked to reform him, and she's dealt with all of his tricks. Even after he betrayed Equestria, she still forgave him... and he's never quite been the same since all of that."

I thought back to how the yellow pegasus had cowered behind the others, and was immediately skeptical. "You're sure you're thinking of the right pony?" Then I remembered how she'd yelled at the hydra and made it run away. "... Wait, no, scratch that. I can see it."

Sapphire laughed. "Yep. That's how they are, though. They've dealt with bad ponies and others, and they always find ways to bring them to heel. They make friends, or reform them, or just... magic them away. They've never failed us."

I glanced over my shoulder at the diner, and then looked down at Sapphire. "So... am I just another bad person that they're working to reform?"

Sapphire stopped in the street, forcing me to stop as well, and she flew up to eye level with me, glaring at me. "You stop that line of thinking, right now. Rarity may have burned you, and you have every right to be hurt, but those six are nothing but sincere in how they go about things. They individually have their failings, sure, but they don't just reform ponies or people because it's their job... they do it because they believe in others, and they believe that everypony can be better. Even the bad ones. And maybe you fall into that category, but the bottom line is that they aren't insincere in their offers of friendship, their efforts at reform, and the second chances they give to a lot of beings that most ponies would write off. They do it because that's the kind of ponies that they are."

I was a bit taken aback by the vehemence in Sapphire's voice, but her strength of belief in those six mares actually put me more at ease. "Okay, I believe you."

Sapphire eyed me for a long moment. "Don't think that you're just another project for them. You aren't. You're a good person, Jake, even if you haven't been all that good for all that long."

I nodded, sighing. "Thanks."

Sapphire nodded back, and settled back onto her hooves, her wings ruffling. "You're getting my feathers in a fluff, here. Let's get you back to the castle and get you some sleep before you have another personal crisis."

I smirked. "Sorry for being a pain in the wings." I nudged her shoulder playfully with my hip as we walked together towards the castle. "Hey, why don't I give you a wing massage or something when we get back to my room. Least I can do." Sapphire's wings flared out with a snap of feathers, and she turned to stare at me with a blush. I stared back at her. "What?"

"N-nothing! Come on!" Sapphire said, mostly ignoring my confused look as she trotted towards the castle. I shook my head and sighed. Ponies were so twitchy about the strangest things.

5c: Under Her Wings

View Online

As I followed after Sapphire, heading back towards the castle, I asked her a question. "What's up with you being twitchy about wing massages?"

Sapphire looked away quickly. "Uh, since you're new here, I'll give you a pass, but don't be offering to groom any random pegasus ponies' wings."

I frowned. "Why not?" Twilight had mentioned something about this, but her lessons on pony etiquette had been months ago at this point.

"It's, uh... like..." She frowned uncertainly. "It's not exactly something that you should offer at random."

I squinted. "I mean, we're friends, right?"

Sapphire shot me a look, her wings ruffling again and fluffing out a bit. "Yeah, we're friends. It's just... typically, you only let family members or close friends preen your wings."

I looked down at her, trying my damnedest to read her body language. "So... no?"

Sapphire composed herself, folding her wings in, and she went quiet as she considered something. After a moment, she sighed. "It's been a day and a half since I've had time to properly preen my wings, so it's going to be a bit of a mess."

"So... yes?" Damn ponies and their body language. Something was up, but I couldn't quite pick up on it.

Sapphire giggled. "Yes. If I'm being honest, I could probably use the help. And it's not a big deal, don't worry. Just, like... it's only because it's you that I'm letting you do this. I wouldn't let just anypony help me preen my wings." She gave me a serious look, her ears forward. "A pegasus' wings are really important, and we only let ponies we really trust do that. It's really important that you take it seriously, and don't screw around. Okay?"

I realized that it wasn't just a simple thing, offering to help her with her wings and her accepting. We'd crossed some sort of threshold in our friendship. Sapphire trotted ahead of me, her tail flicking, and she glanced over her shoulder at me. "What?"

"I didn't ask you anything inappropriate, did I?" Her reaction was still nagging at me.

Sapphire scowled, blushing a bit. "No, it's fine."

I squinted at her. "You sure?"

Sapphire rolled her eyes. "Jake. Please. You're making it weird. Just shut up and help me clean up my messy wings." She turned and walked on. "Come on."

I followed her, and we walked in relative silence back to the castle. Sapphire took a different turn than usual, leading me down a hallway that wasn't towards my room, and I followed her. We went down a few different corridors, heading into the outer wings of the palace, and stopped before a set of more simple double doors. The sign above declared it as a mare's barracks, and Sapphire gestured to the door. "I'll be back in a second, I need to grab my kit."

I nodded, curious as to what kind of kit she needed. She slipped into the barracks and returned a few moments later with a small black bag balanced on her back. She headed towards my room, and as we walked, I reached down for the bag. I hesitated when she gave me a look, my hand hovering just before grabbing the black bag. "So, what's all this?"

"My grooming kit. It's not exactly easy to clean your wings sometimes, so I've got some stuff that might help you out." She eyed my hands, "Though I have a feeling that you're going to have an easier time than I would with hooves."

I shrugged, picking up the kit and opening it up to take a peek at the contents: A curry comb and a brush, a regular comb, and a set of tweezers. Inside an interior pocket were pouches of powders and bottles of oils. I picked one up at random, and Sapphire's wing stretched out and slapped the back of my hand lightly. "No messing with stuff until we're set up and I've had a chance to explain everything to you."

"Sure, sure," I said, putting the bottle away and closing the black bag. We arrived at my room and Sapphire went through the door and directly to my bed. She reached up and grabbed a corner of my blankets and sheets in her mouth and pulled them off the bed unceremoniously. I frowned. "Hey, come on."

"Shh," Sapphire hissed, still holding the blankets in her mouth. She hopped up onto the bed, dragging the covers with her, and she began to arrange them around herself, turning in a circle as she did so. My pillows were added to the growing pile of comforters, sheets, and heavy blankets, and soon the mess on top of my bed started to resemble something else entirely. Sapphire peered at it with a critical eye, her wings, hooves, and nose nudging and moving things about.

"Huh," I murmured, fascinated. "You're... making a nest?" I chuckled. That was cute as hell.

Sapphire blushed. "It's a pegasus thing, okay? Preening left you vulnerable, back in the old days, so we would build defenses from predators."

"There are literally no predators that would eat a pony within a mile of my bedroom. Unless there's a griffon delegate staying in the palace..." I mused.

Sapphire frowned at me. "Not funny. We're taking this seriously, remember?"

"I'm sorry, you're acting like a bird, I can't help myself," I said, smirking at her.

"Whatever. Help me get this off," Sapphire muttered, reaching down and pulling at the straps on her armor. I stepped closer and helped her unbuckle her armor, being careful with her wings and mane as we worked. I set her armor aside on a chair, her helmet going last. The glamour on Sapphire dissipated, leaving her white dappled coat, two-tone wings, and blue mane on display. She sighed, stretching, and then settled into the nest, curling her legs beneath her. "Give me the kit."

I picked up the kit and offered it to her, and she took it and opened it up, setting out the parts in a semicircle around the edge of her impromptu blanket nest. Combs and brushes first, then the tweezers, then the powders and oils. She eyed them for a moment before looking up at me and patting the edge of her nest. "Come and sit next to me, here."

I pulled off my shoes and joined her on the bed. "All right."

Sapphire spread out one wing, resting it across the edge of the nest. She shook it out a bit, straightening her feathers and shifting the majority of them almost onto my lap. "Pay attention, okay?" She pointed with her nose to the forward-most feathers on her wing, nearest the tip, and worked her way inward as she explained. "Those at the outer edge are primaries, and the ones closer to me are secondaries. They're all the really important flight feathers. Above them, the feathers are called coverts. The ones above the primaries are primary coverts, and the ones above the secondaries are secondary coverts." She bent her wing, gesturing with a hoof out to the top edge of her wing. "You can think of my wing almost like another leg... or an arm, I guess, in your case. There's a shoulder joint, closest to me, and then two points where it bends, like a knee and an ankle. There's a few more subtle joints, at the end, that are like one of your fingers. The feathers at the top of the wing, where the 'finger' is, are called alulas, and the little feathers that run all along are lesser coverts. There's also down, which is basically just fluff that help keep me warm at higher altitudes."

I reached a hand out, pointing. "Primaries, secondaries, coverts... I think I've got it."

Sapphire nodded. "Okay, so, part of keeping things clean is making sure that all the feathers are clean and aligned, and that none of them are loose. Pegasus feathers, thanks to our magic, are very strong and extremely resistant to most everything, and it's pretty hard to bend or damage them. Despite that, they're also really flexible. Some pegasus ponies can pick things up with their wings, but I don't quite have that level of dexterity." She flexed her wing, bringing it in close and bending it in front of her face, and then back again and stretched it out. I watched, interested, as she shifted herself a bit and placed most of her wing in my lap. "So... when we clean our wings, we're looking and feeling to make sure things are in alignment. I use my hooves and mouth at the same time to work my way through the wing, starting at the primaries and working inward." Sapphire brought her other wing up close to her face, reaching out with one hoof and her mouth and tucking her feathers in close. She ran her hoof along slowly, while her mouth worked in conjunction, her teeth gripping and pulling along her feathers. She extended the wing after a moment. "You're watching for spots where the feathers aren't properly aligned, or where there's breaks or gaps in the barbs. They sort of... zip together, so if you run your hand along the feather where there's a break in the barb, it should stick right back together and stay in place."

She nodded towards the wing in my lap, and I reached down gingerly and touched the furthest-most primary feather. It was smooth, and out near the very tip was a spot where the feather's perfect shape was broken by a little gap where the barbs had been un-stuck. I watched Sapphire for a moment as she worked on a feather, biting it gently between her teeth at the quill and running it along the feather. I pinched the feather carefully and ran my fingers down the shaft of the quill in a zipping motion. The barbs clung together and stuck, and I glanced at Sapphire. Her eyes were closed as she worked on her other wing, and I caught the hint of a blush on her cheeks. "Like that?"

"Mhm," she hummed, her mouth working on another group of feathers.

I nodded to myself and kept focused. I worked through a few feathers, making sure they overlapped each other like the rest did, using my hands and my fingers to both align and 'zip-up' feathers. I came to one that was felt different, and I pointed. "I think this one is loose."

Sapphire eyed it critically for a moment. "Yep. Give it a quick pluck, and don't be shy about it." I nodded and grasped the feather by the quill shaft and gave it a sharp pull. The feather popped loose with a slight moment of resistance. Sapphire's breath hitched, her wing shifted a bit in my lap, and she exhaled slowly after a moment. "Nice work."

"Didn't hurt?" I asked, looking down at the grey and white feather I held between my fingers.

"No. It actually feels pretty good. Loose feathers are kinda itchy," Sapphire said, plucking a feather out of the other wing.

"Okay. What about the oil and powder and stuff?"

Sapphire nodded and reached out with a hoof, grabbing a bottle of the oil. "These are like... conditioner for my feathers, basically. They help keep my feathers flexible. The powder is just a fine dust that helps absorb the oil after you oil your feathers. So, since you're helping me out, as you work on the feathers, just get a little oil on your fingertips. The quills and barbs will naturally absorb the oil."

I reached out and took the oil bottle from Sapphire, and gave it a quick sniff. It smelled like vanilla and minerals. I poured a bit into my palm and then rubbed my hands together, working the oil onto my fingers, and then went back to work on her wing. I moved my way up to the coverts, where the feathers were thicker. This was a little more tricky work, but it wasn't too bad, overall. I could feel the downy fluff tickling at my fingertips as I worked through the layer of feathers, straightening out and zipping them and aligning. I scooted closer to Sapphire, and she edged nearer in return, her side resting against my hip as we worked together. She was warm, and the scent of vanilla filled my nose. I sneezed, which made Sapphire jump, and then giggle. She smiled at me briefly before focusing on her other wing. I worked my way in towards her side, working through the secondary coverts, my fingertips brushing against her coat now that I was in so close to her shoulder. Sapphire shivered, glancing over at me and biting her lip. I raised an eyebrow at her. "What?"

"N-nothing. You're doing good," She said, perhaps a bit too quickly. I frowned, but decided to ignore the vibe she was giving me, focusing instead on the lesser coverts. These little feathers were more fluffy, and close to her skin, so I was careful about working there. Sapphire let out a sigh and hummed happily. "That's really nice," she said, leaning against me. It was actually pretty calming work. I just stayed focused on the job, and slowly worked on each feather, being careful and taking her trust in me with the seriousness that deserved. She spoke up after a moment. "So, how are you feeling after all of that?"

I stiffened up, frowning. "Not great, honestly, but better than I was. I'm still mad about a few things, and still trying to sort everything out." I sighed. "Twilight was pretty aggressive towards me back there."

"Yeah, I thought that was strange. I know she's concerned about Spike, but it was like you'd gotten between a mother bear and her cub there," Sapphire said, turning and continuing to preen her other wing.

I kept working on Sapphire's feathers, sighing. "It's so hard to argue with her. I owe her a lot, and she's a princess. Where I'm from, you're not really supposed to challenge the boss, you know? It leads to serious consequences."

"Yeah. I know she told you that it was a conversation between friends... but that's hard to separate, sometimes. We guards have to deal with things like that all the time, and typically we sort of do what you did," Sapphire said, smirking as she tugged a feather loose and spat it out on the floor. "We say 'yes, ma'am', and move on with our day."

"Yeah. It just an awkward position. I enjoy a lot of opportunity for being close to the Princesses, but with that comes... well, having to be close to the Princesses. As much as they want to be our friends, at the end of the day..." I shook my head. "Twilight shouldn't have insisted I apologize. I don't believe in just talking, I want to prove that I can do better. Why can't she let me just act on my own instinct?"

"Twilight has a particular way of doing things. After all, she is the Princess of Friendship." Sapphire snorted, "And that's friendship with a capitol 'f'. The kind of friendship that you don't have a choice about. She's a bit overbearing, and she thinks that her way is the best way to do things. She's not wrong, per-se, but she could stand to be more diplomatic about how she dealt with you."

"Yeah, you can say that again," I muttered, tugging a feather into alignment. Sapphire yelped a bit, and I winced. "Crap, sorry. You okay?"

Sapphire nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine, you just surprised me. It's okay to be a little rough, but give a gal a warning first, eh?"

I rolled my eyes. "Are you making sex jokes? Seriously?"

"Don't make me slap you with my free wing, here. I just got it cleaned up!" Sapphire said with a laugh. I shook my head, chuckling, and pulled free another loose feather. Sapphire relaxed, and spoke up once more. "I just think she's concerned about you, deep down. After all, you sort of threatened Spike."

"I didn't sort of threaten him. I definitely threatened him." I scowled, feeling a bubble of frusturation. "He just... pushed the wrong button at the wrong time. I know it's my fault, but I still feel a tiny bit like I'm the one getting a lot of flak when it's Rarity that really placed him in that situation."

"You know that Twilight and Rarity had a huge fight the other day, right?" Sapphire chimed in. I looked up at her in surprise, and she nodded. "Yeah, it was after my shift in the evening. She and Rarity went to a meeting with Princess Celestia, and I guess the whole story about what happened came out. We could hear Twilight shouting all the way down in the barracks." Sapphire sniffed, tilting her head up a bit. "I'm not too proud to admit that I snuck out to eavesdrop on the whole thing."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Sapphire nodded. "Yeah, 'oh' is right. Apparently, Rarity lied to Twilight about some magic that Twilight did. A hat, I guess? Which didn't make any sense. And then Rarity put Spike in that crappy position of lying to you. Rarity ran out a few minutes later, crying, and Twilight was gone pretty soon after. She was really upset, too."

I nodded. "Yeah. The hat. Frankly, I'd almost forgotten about that thing amid all the other crap I'd been dealing with. Rarity had Twilight make a hat, so she could hide the sounds of the hydra from me."

Sapphire sat up, her eyes wide. "Oh, wow..." She scowled. "Well, Princess Celestia and Twilight were not very happy with her at all... so she's been getting it from them as well." Sapphire settled back down, nibbling on a feather. "... I'm really sorry that you had to deal with all of that."

"Yeah. Me too," I said, my mind wandering as I considered how I felt about the whole situation. It was... somewhat gratifying, in a twisted way, to know that Rarity's whole deception had been laid bare, and before the Princesses, no less. She'd probably gotten it worse from them than she'd gotten from me, and that was probably good news... I felt a little better for taking it a bit easy on her, too. She didn't deserve to suffer... not really. She just needed to work herself back into my trust, and I just needed time to accept her again. A part of me was struck by the thought that things would never truly be the same between us... between any of us. That day had messed a lot of things up. I was gripped by a shock of fear, suddenly. Was this where things started falling apart again?

"Mm, Jake, that's really nice," murmured Sapphire. I glanced down and realized that my work on her feathers had shifted to stroking her back and shoulders like I was petting a cat. Sapphire, for her part, had snuggled closer and was practically purring, her eyes closed and her hooves gripping the bed.

"Sorry. Got distracted," I murmured.

"Stay distracted," Sapphire sighed, nuzzling her cheek against my side. It was extremely cute, and I reached up and ran my hand through her mane, scratching at her ear. Sapphire trilled happily and practically melted, leaning against me. "Yesssss..."

"You okay? Am I blowing your mind?" I said, smirking.

"Fingers are awesome. I will pay you for scratches," Sapphire said, giggling.

"Wait until I really get going," I said, winking at her.

"Don't threaten me with a good time," Sapphire said back, and we both started laughing. After a moment, I reached down and grabbed one of the brushes, and started brushing her coat. Sapphire smiled. "This is really nice."

"It really is. Thanks for letting me help you out," I said. "I know why you're doing this, too. A little show of trust for me, after all of this stress? It helps. A lot."

Sapphire smirked. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I just suckered you into cleaning my wings and brushing my coat."

"Well, aren't we clever," said, chuckling.

"Yes, we are. Now, my tail needs some attention, if you don't mind."

"Isn't it a bit early in the date for getting to your tail? You haven't even bought me dinner. I'm insulted."

"Jake!" Sapphire slapped me with a wing, and I yelped and laughed. "So crude!"

"Yeah, well, I learned it from you."

"You learned it from Marge!"

"Yeah, I learned it from Marge."

6: Man Cannot Have One Friend Alone

View Online

As the train from Canterlot pulled away from the station, I felt an eerie sense of déjà vu. I shivered as I watched the locomotive disappear down the tracks, and turned to face Ponyville once more. I was back, and this time under no pretense. Sapphire and Dusky were both with me, today. I'd requested both of them from Celestia and Luna, as I wanted to have a little extra moral support. Dusky, for his part, was his usual professional self, but he had a pair of dark lenses attached to his guard helmet, presumably acting like sunglasses. Sapphire, however, was excited, looking around the station and smiling. "It's nice to get out of the castle!"

"Yeah," I muttered, looking towards Ponyville. "So, I've got four mares to meet today, and then Twilight wants me to check in with her at her crystal tree house thing."

"We're going to Friendship Castle?" Sapphire said, her wings fluttering at her sides.

"No, we're going to Crystal Tree House. I refuse to call it Friendship Castle, it's a silly name. But first, I need to meet up with all of Rarity and Twilight's friends and... apologize, I guess."

Dusky reached into a pouch on his belt and pulled free a scroll, clutching it between his wings. "It says here that you should be able to find Pinkie Pie at Sugar Cube Corner, a bakery establishment."

I snorted, remembering the pudgy little pink pony. "Yeah, that sounds about right. Well, she's the one that I wanted to apologize to anyway, so let's go."

Sapphire led the way, hopping up into the air and flying overhead. "I've been to Sugar Cube Corner before. Follow me!"

With Dusky at my side, we followed Sapphire into Ponyville. The three of us got a few odd looks as we walked down the avenues of the town, and the majority of ponies gave us a wide berth as they passed. A few even changed direction upon spotting me, disappearing down side streets. I shrugged mentally and kept focused on the task at hand. It'd been like that in Canterlot for a while, before the word got out that I was some kind of important creature working for the Diarchy, and then the cautious attitudes changed to curious ones. The ponies of Ponyville, for the most part, stuck to their business and ignored me, which was gratifying. Apparently they were used to odd happenings around here.

We turned a corner down a street and I immediately knew we'd arrived at Sugar Cube Corner. The building before us was decorated to look like a ginger bread house, complete with a cupcake-styled minaret at the top of the building. I whistled, appreciating the look even if it was the sort of saccharine nonsense that I'd come to expect out of ponies. There was a bustling business going on inside, and ponies flowed in and out at a quick pace. As we approached, I could smell the tantalizing scent of fresh bread, warm cookies, and various sugars and spices. We arrived at the double doors and pushed them open like a trio of gunfighters in an old-west saloon. We were hungry... for justice! And cookies.

Mostly cookies. My stomach rumbled.

The interior of the place was filled with displays of confectionery delight. Massive cakes, huge displays of cookies, pies, and all manner of other delicacies were piled high on counter tops. Inside, a few ponies ahead of us froze up, uncertain as to why the strange creature and two guards had entered the bakery. Behind the counter was a rotund older pony with a beehive-esque pink mane and cyan coat, and she smiled at me in a motherly way that immediately reminded me of the little grandmothers that would cook in tiny restaurants back on Earth. It put me at ease, and I waited patiently in line while the patrons ahead of me placed orders. When we arrived at the counter, the mare cast me a happy smile. "Well, hello there! Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner! What can I get ya, dearie?"

Her accent was vaguely reminiscent of the Great Lakes Region of the United States, which struck me as a bit strange, but it complemented her motherly appearance. "Hey there. I'm looking for Pinkie Pie, is she here today?" I asked, giving her a smile without any teeth. Ponies got twitchy when they spotted my canines, sometimes.

"Oh, she's in the back! You must be Jake. She said you'd be showing up around now. She told me to tell you to wait a few minutes, and she'll be out to chat!" the mare said.

I blinked. "How'd she know I was coming?"

"Oh! Hehee," she giggled, "that's our Pinkie Pie for you! She just knows!"

I nodded slowly. "Okay... so, find a seat?"

"Abso-tutely! Would you and your friends like something to drink? We've got tea, coffee, and pop!"

I smiled. "A coffee sounds great. Can you add in a little chocolate to it?"

She turned around, already prepping a cup. "Coming right up! How about you dears?"

"Coffee sounds good, with sugar." said Sapphire, her eyes locked on a display of frosted brownies that seems to have captivated her.

"Make it three," Dusky added, "but no sugar in mine."

I reached for my bit bag as the mare turned around with three mugs of steaming coffee, and she smiled. "Seven bits for the lot."

I whistled. Cheaper than Canterlot, that's for sure! I happily paid out the money and took our drinks over to a nearby table. We sat down, and I took a sip of the mocha I'd requested. The milky chocolate was heavenly with the dark roast, and I found myself grinning at nothing. Sapphire still stared at the brownies, sipping distractedly on her own drink, while Dusky watched his cool for a bit. We sat in amicable silence, content to watch the bakery operate around us. A lanky stallion with a yellow coat and orange mane bussed a few tables, smiling at us as he passed by. The door into the back of the bakery swung open a few minutes later, just as I was finishing my coffee, and a pink fluffy tail bobbed into view. There was a straining, heaving sound as Pinkie fell into the bakery proper, pulling a plate with a towering cake on top of it. Pinkie Pie drug the cake into the middle of the bakery and collapsed, panting for breath, before smiling up at me from her prone position. "Heya, Jakey! Who are your guard pony friends?"

"Hello, Pinkie. This is Corporal Sapphire Spirit and Specialist Dusky Roads." I said, gesturing to Sapphire and Dusky, respectively. My gaze shifted from her to the huge cake. "What's all this?"

"Welllllllll," she said, inhaling slowly. "I knew that you were coming today and I knew that you'd had a rough couple of days because of course you did because you had a fight with one of your bestest-besties in the whole wide world and I think that's super sad and so I baked you a great big cake because cake always makes things better," she said, all in one go, with nary a pause to be found. "Sooooo, this is your 'Sorry-You-Had-A-Crummy-Week-Welcome-To-Ponyville-Your-Apology-Is-Accepted' cake! One layer for every layer of plot you've had to wade through to get here!"

I stared at the huge cake, and then back down to Pinkie Pie. "... I haven't even talked to you about any of that, yet. You can't just forgive me."

Pinkie grinned, kipping up to her hooves and bouncing in place. "Too late! It's already forgiven! I found out all about why you were mean to me the other day, and it's all macaroni and cheese!"

"... Macaroni and cheese?" I asked.

"Yeah, y'know. Macaroni and cheese? Apple Pie and ice cream? Brie and red grapes? Brownies and ice cream? Cookies and milk? Ice cream and ice cream?" She giggled. "I mean it's all good."

"Oh," I said, barely following her logic. "Well... I don't feel like it's all good."

Pinkie stopped bouncing. "... You don't?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't. I think I need to do better, and so I'm here to offer you... whatever. Whatever I need to do to make it up to you. You name it, and I'll do it."

Pinkie Pie stared at me for a moment, her eyes narrowing and frowning slightly as the gears turned in her head. "Anything?"

"Pretty much," I confirmed, nodding.

Pinkie's smile redoubled, and she giggled. "Awesome! First, you're gonna have to give me a big 'ol hug!"

I blinked. "... A hug?"

"Yup! A big one! Not that that's very hard for you, mister!" Pinkie said, beaming up at me. She stood up on her hind hooves and raised her forelegs up. "Come on, get in here!"

I sighed, kneeling down, and was pulled into a tight hug by the little pink pony. She smelled like cinnamon and baking powder and strawberries. She giggled, her whole body practically vibrating as I joined the hug. "Okie dokie lokie, now you gotta pick me up!"

I rolled my eyes, but I stood up, with Pinkie Pie still clinging around my shoulders, and I carefully supported her behind her haunches, like picking up a dog. She grinned. "Okay, now, onto the shoulders!"

I squinted down at her. "... You want a piggy-back ride?"

"More like a Pinkie-back ride!" She laughed, and I maneuvered her around until she was riding on my shoulders. "Ha! I am tallest pony now!" she cried from atop my shoulders. Sapphire and Dusky stared at the two of us like we'd grown extra heads, and it was nearly true in my case. The pink pony giggled and pointed just at the edge of my vision. "Okay, Jake! You gotta give me a ride to Fluttershy's place, now! You do that, and we're all good!"

I stared at Dusky and Sapphire impassively, sending a silent plea for help. Sapphire had buried her face behind her hooves and was giggling uncontrollably, and Dusky remained his stoic self, small smirk of amusement notwithstanding. "Well, sir, she's on the list of ponies you need to apologize to," Dusky said evenly.

"What about the cake?" I asked Pinkie Pie, gesturing to the multi-layer monstrosity that still sat before us.

"Oh! Well, since there were so many holes in the layers—just like the plot—I just hollowed out the whole thing. Check it out!" Pinkie Pie reached out with one hoof, able to touch the top layer of the cake thanks to the added height from atop my shoulders. She slid a little tray from beneath the topmost layer, and that layer sunk into the next tier of the cake, which followed suit, all the way down to the last layer. The multi-tiered cake had become a single large layer by the end, with different colors and textures like a tree's rings. "See! Now it's travel size for your convenience! I'll have it delivered to your room at the castle!"

"Wow," Sapphire said, rubbing at her eyes as though she couldn't believe what she'd just witnessed.

I stared in wonder at the collapsed cake. "Yeah, wow," I agreed.

"I know, right?! I knew you'd be impressed!" Pinkie cheered. She wasn't wrong, it was quite the feat of engineering. Baking? Something between those two ideas, anyway. "So, are you ready to get this show on the road?"

"If it's all the same to you, Pinkie, don't you think Fluttershy would rather I apologize without your help?" I asked her.

Pinkie giggled. "Silly Jakey! Fluttershy probably won't even open the door if somepony she doesn't know comes a-knockin'!" Pinkie glanced around conspiratorially, and then whispered in my ear, "She's suuuuper shy."

"I gathered," I said, sighing. "All right, a piggy back ride to Fluttershy's house so you can introduce us. I get a little humiliation for my poor treatment of you, and we're all good."

Pinkie paused, peering down at me at a precarious angle, her position barely held atop my shoulders. "Humiliation?!" She practically leapt off of me, her blue eyes wide as she got up on her hind legs, balancing with one hoof on my chest to look up at me with an earnest expression. "Jakey, I don't wanna humiliate you! I just thought it'd be fun!"

I gauged her sincerity, but I couldn't see any guile in her bright eyes, and I smiled after a moment. "... Okay, I believe you. I appreciate it, but if you need me to do something silly to make things right, then I'm okay with it."

Pinkie shook her head emphatically. "Nuh-uh! We're gonna do fun things, not mean things... like, ummmm..." She glanced around, and then gasped as an idea struck her. "Oh, I know! I do test batches of all kinds of weird desserts and baked goods! You gotta come the next time I do it and help me taste-test! Some of 'em might be yucky, but I'll try them too, and so we can make funny faces and go 'bleah!' together!" She brushed a hoof against my chest in a plaintative gesture, her ears folding back. "Does that sound better?"

I squinted down at her. "You have a different way of thinking, Pinkie."

Pinkie winked at me. "Different good?"

"Yeah, different good," I agreed, patting the top of her poofy mane. She grinned a big grin and plopped back down onto her hooves.

"All right, now that that's settled, onward to Fluttershy! Up an' at 'em, guard ponies!" Pinkie said, marching in place while gesturing wildly at Sapphire and Dusky to get up. They both got to their hooves, chuckling, and followed Pinkie and I as we walked across Ponyville.

The trek across Ponyville was a far more interesting affair with Pinkie Pie in the lead. She smiled and chirped a happy greeting at every pony we passed, calling them by name, and often spouting little compliments about their appearance or demeanor. The ponies around us barely paid us any mind, such was the wake Pinkie left behind her, and I found myself smiling along with the happy ponies of Ponyville as we walked out past the edge of town and towards a dense forest. Before we hit the edge of the forest, we detoured, passing along the edge of the wood and heading towards an orchard. We skirted the edge of the orchard and found ourselves in a small hilly area with a brook running through it. At the top of one hill sat a cottage that could only be described as 'enchanting'.

It was as though the landscape had grown this little home, with its mellow earth toned walls and grassy roof. Bird feeders and houses covered the outside of the building, and along the winding path to the front door little warrens and burrows dotted the landscape. A small bridge allowed passage over the stream, which we crossed, and we arrived at the closed half-door of the home. All manner of birds and little creatures scurried about, almost fearless in their goings-on. I slowly inhaled the scent of fresh water and clean open spaces, and felt the magic of this little corner of the world. Sapphire had taken to the air once more, and was peering delightedly into a bird nest where a few fluffy balls of feathers cheeped at her. Dusky was examining a rabbit hutch that sat a bit away from the path leading up to the front door.

Pinkie seemed far less concerned with the beautiful pastoral scene and more interested in getting the attention of the occupant inside the cottage. She marched up to the front door and called, "Companyyyyy, halt!" She glanced over her shoulder. "That means stop."

"We know," Dusky murmured, smirking at Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie Pie didn't pick up on any sarcasm, because she grinned at Dusky and lifted a hoof to knock on the door. Her sharp rapping reverberated through the house, unsettling a few birds from their nests. "Fluttershy! It's Pinkie Pie!"

The top half of the door creaked open and a sunny yellow pegasus with a light pink mane peered out. "Oh, hello, Pinkie P—" Fluttershy froze up when she caught sight of me, her eyes going wide in surprise. I hunched my shoulders a bit in a probably-too-late attempt to look smaller, remembering that a lot of ponies got nervous because of my size alone. Then, Fluttershy surprised me by practically leaping out of her front door to stand before me. Her cheeks puffed up, and she flew up to my eye level. "You!"

I smiled uncertainly. "Uh... hello?" I glanced at Sapphire, who gave Fluttershy a concerned frown as she moved closer to me.

She reached out, I winced, and I found myself buried in a fluffy pony hug. "I was so worried about you!" Fluttershy squeaked, and when she pulled back her eyes were teary. "You ran out to help us with that grumpy hydra and almost got yourself eaten! If Pinkie Pie hadn't been there, I—" she hiccuped, and a tear ran down her cheek. Was she crying?!

"Uh... I'm sorry?" She clung tighter to me, and I reached out and gently patted her on the back. "I... won't do that again?" I said, not quite sure what she wanted to hear.

"You p-promise?" Fluttershy turned her big, blue eyes on me, tears threatening to spill. That was patently unfair! I can't deflect pouting ponies of that magnitude!

"Yeah, I promise," I said with a firm nod. I probably would break that promise the instant something threatened any of the ponies again, but I was willing to do whatever it took to make Fluttershy stop crying.

Fluttershy detached from me, blushing slightly as she wiped one hoof across her cheeks. "Okay... I'm sorry about everything that happened after that... it was a real mess."

I smiled at her. "I think we're all sorry about that," I said, pausing briefly before realizing that I had not ever properly introduced myself. "I'm Jake, by the way. These two are Corporal Sapphire," I gestured to Sapphire, who waved a hoof at Fluttershy, "and Specialist Dusky."

Fluttershy seemed a little more nervous as she realized that there were a lot more ponies present, and she swallowed hard before speaking up. "O-oh, um, hello. It's nice to meet you all, finally."

Sapphire smiled, "The pleasure is ours, Miss Fluttershy."

"Indeed," Dusky added, giving Fluttershy a deferential nod.

Pinkie Pie beamed at us as she trotted forward. "Well, introductions have been made, and I gotta get back to Sugar Cube Corner! Lots to do for the Eff-Oh-Eff! You guys enjoy that cake, okie dokie?"

I reached down and offered a fist to Pinkie Pie. "Thanks for everything, Pinkie."

Pinkie reached out and tapped my fist with her hoof. "Of course! What are friends for?" With a giggle, Pinkie pronked away, her mane flouncing happily as she headed down the road.

I shook my head as I watched her leave. "She's something else."

"She really is," Fluttershy said, shaking her head, before looking up at me. "Um, by the way, I'm sorry if I was too presumptuous, giving you a hug earlier."

I shrugged. "Eh. Not the worst greeting I've ever gotten. I thought you were going to slap me, honestly."

"O-oh, no, I'd never do something like that!" Fluttershy said, blushing and taking a step away from me.

"Well, good to know. I honestly probably have it coming at some point. I'm sure one of your friends is probably pissed enough at me to put a hoof upside my head," I said, smirking.

"Oh, I hope not. That'd be too much... even if they happened to be very upset about how you treated Spike. But I've been told that you and Spike had a discussion, and that you settled things and apologized," Fluttershy said, peering up at me from behind a pink lock of hair.

I frowned. "Twilight more-or-less made me apologize. I told Spike that I wanted to make things right, though, and that's all that matters."

Fluttershy blinked, a small frown slowly spreading across her face. "You didn't want to apologize?"

I shrugged. "I don't believe apologies fix things. I think that the only way to solve problems like that is to prove you can be better."

"Oh. Well, that makes sense," Fluttershy said, visibly relaxing as she gave a nod. "That sounds like a good way to approach solving problems between friends. You don't just say it, you show it."

I smiled at her, surprised that she'd accepted my explanation so easily. "Wow. Twilight seemed insistent that you ponies really wanted to hear the words."

Fluttershy sat back on her haunches, letting out a small sigh as she did so. "Twilight has a lot of ideas about how things are supposed to work, and she has problems accepting alternative viewpoints sometimes. That's why it's so important that we're close to her, so we can help her see the other sides of issues."

I chuckled. "I wish you'd been there, then. She got pretty mad that I wouldn't say 'sorry' to Spike."

Fluttershy shook her head, scuffing the dirt with one hoof as her gaze wandered. "She's protective of Spike. I suppose you could say that, for Twilight, hearing you apologize was part of what you needed to do to start making things right."

"Sure. I suppose," I said, shrugging noncommittally, even though what she said made a bit of sense. "So, what do you do out here, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy brightened up, smiling, and her wings fluttered excitedly at her sides. "Oh! I'm an animal caretaker. I love helping little critters whenever they need it, and so I work to feed and tend to local wildlife, and give them a safe place to stay at my home and at the animal sanctuary I built nearby." I glanced around the house, taking in all the dens and burrows scattered about, not to mention the plethora of bird houses and nests. It was pretty obvious, now that I was really paying attention. Fluttershy had kept talking as I took in the place: "Ponyville pays me to collect data on animal populations and I provide them with a lot of knowledge about the disposition of the local wildlife. I also help look after pets, and provide a lot of the town with services caring for sick animals." Fluttershy spoke with none of her typical stuttering or hesitation, and her eyes were bright and ears forward as she spoke to me. Her passion was palpable, and it was extremely cool.

"Wow. So, you're sort of like... a forest ranger, then?" I asked.

"I guess part of the money I get for keeping the census on the animals comes from the Ponyville Parks and Recreation department's budget, so... I suppose I am! I don't really think of it that way, though. I'm just happy to help," Fluttershy said, her wings fluttering a bit as she said so.

I smiled. "You sure are."

Fluttershy blushed, retreating inward and peering at me from behind the long forelock of her mane. It was extremely adorable. "S-sorry, I just really like what I do."

"I'm glad. It's good to do things you love," I said with sincerity.

Fluttershy peeked back up at me. "What about you? What do you love to do, Jake?"

I paused, considering the question for a few moments before replying. "I... don't really know. I like helping people with problems, I guess? I'm also pretty good with numbers and writing. I used to help... uh..." How to explain to this precious tiny pony that I used to help criminals keep their books and payroll in order, and that much of my 'problem solving' involved the application of guns to faces? "... people with their money. Like, records and stuff." It was way more lame sounding than it actually was, but when you're leaving out guns, drugs, and murder, everything is much less sexy—if more wholesome.

Fluttershy nodded. "Oh, I see. Like an accountant."

An accountant who killed people. "Yeah, sure. That's me: Action Accountant Jake."

"That's dumb," Sapphire said, laughing.

"You're dumb," I immediately retorted, sticking my tongue out at her. Sapphire stuck her tongue out at me in retaliation.

Dusky rolled his eyes. "I'm surrounded by foals."

Fluttershy laughed, beaming at the three of us. "I'm glad you're all good friends."

I glanced down at her. "Oh, you picked up on that?"

"It's a little obvious. That makes me happy, though! I was worried that you'd spent the last few days all alone and upset."

"Well, these two would barely leave me alone. Sapphire even made me clean her wings," I said, laughing. At this declaration, Dusky practically choked and was overcome by a coughing fit, his eyes widening behind his sunglasses as he pounded his chest armor. Fluttershy gasped and blushed, her eyes darting between Sapphire and I, and Sapphire froze on the spot, her face totally impassive. I noticed the extreme reactions, and frowned. "What?"

"N-nothing!" Fluttershy said, her face turning an even deeper shade of red. "I'm sure it was... nice!"

"Well, yeah. It was, I guess? It helped me calm down after a rough day," I said slowly, trying to figure out why Dusty and Fluttershy were freaking out a bit.

"New subject, Jake, if you please," Sapphire said, her ears flattening back a bit.

I shrugged, reaching out and tweaking the tip of one of her ears. "Sure. What's up with the stiff wings?"

Sapphire's head snapped around, staring at her extended wings with wide eyes. "Damn it!" she cried, flopping onto her back and practically mushing them beneath herself. "It's stuffy in this armor! The breeze over my feathers helps! I'm just feeling hot!" she said, her legs flailing as she rolled on her wings.

"Corporal, please, get ahold of yourself. What you do with Jake is your own business. Nopony is judging you." Dusky said, his coughing fit apparently cleared up. He looked his typical stoic self once more, his dark tail lashing slightly behind him.

"You're totally judging me~!" Sapphire cried, covering her face with her hooves.

"Yes," Dusky said, smirking slightly as Sapphire gasped at him, looking betrayed. "But only because you are presently making a fool of yourself. Stand up and be calm, Corporal."

"I-I'm not judging you. I promise," Fluttershy said softly, though she was still blushing.

Sapphire let out a groan of frustration and got to her hooves, shaking out her wings before pointedly snapping them shut at her sides. She took in a deep breath, and as she exhaled, she returned to her proper on-duty-guard posture. Only a slight redness to her cheeks revealed that anything had happened. I chuckled to myself. "Silly ponies."

"Stupid man," Sapphire sniped back.

I shrugged, and returned my attention to Fluttershy. "So, yeah. It has been a rough few days, but with these guys around, I've been managing."

Fluttershy composed herself, though she was still blushing. "O-oh. That's good. I'm glad that you're so close to your guards. I've always told Twilight that she should consider getting a few for her castle, but she told me she'd feel awkward ordering them around. She's still adjusting to her role as Princess, and she's not quite as comfortable as she maybe should be."

"Yeah. They're pretty okay," I said with a smirk, getting a another pointed look from Sapphire.

Fluttershy smiled, "So, what are you doing in Ponyville?"

"I came here to talk to all of you. I'd like to make up for the stupid stuff I did, and so I'm here to offer to do... well, whatever you need. It can be today, or another time, or whatever you'd like," I said, finally getting to the root of my visit.

"Oh! That's very kind of you, but I don't feel like you need to do anything for me. You upset Spike, and you were mean to Pinkie Pie, but you didn't do anything to me, so I think it's enough that you came and visited," Fluttershy said, standing up. "But, if you really are looking to do something to help me, I could use a little help feeding the birds, today." Fluttershy gestured to a little shed off to one side of her house, and began trotting towards it. "I keep the bird feed in there, and I need my songbirds to be extra-happy today. We've got a big event coming up that we need to help Twilight with."

I raised my eyebrows. "A big event?"

"Oh, yes. You haven't heard?" Fluttershy said, looking over her shoulder in surprise.

"No. I've been feeling anti-social for the last few days, and I work in Princess Luna's night court, so I haven't heard much news."

"Oh! Well, it's very exciting. Twilight has been planning it for a few weeks, now, and it's finally coming up on the day. It's called the Festival of Friendship!" Fluttershy smiled, her wings fluffing up at her sides, "She wants my birds to help provide a friendly atmosphere for the guests and attendees, so I'm getting my birds together to practice some songs."

I chuckled. "You train birds to sing?"

"Oh, yes! It's a lot of work, but it makes them very happy to feel appreciated," Fluttershy said.

I shook my head. "That's about the cutest thing I've heard in a few days. You ponies sure are something."

Fluttershy giggled. "Well, we believe very strongly in harmony, and part of that is feeling in harmony with the land and the animals." We arrived at the shed, and Fluttershy opened it up, pushing open the door. The inside was a small space, with two shelves on either wall and the back wall holding a rack of gardening tools. The shelves were stocked with animal feed in several varieties. I stepped inside, peering at the labels on the bags of bird seed. One was prominently labeled 'songbird mix'.

I pointed to the bag. "That one?"

"Please!" Fluttershy said with a nod, and I hefted the bag up onto my shoulder. Fluttershy lead the way, going back across the bridge and out to the front of the house. There were tall standing feeders set up around the front yard, and she gestured. "We need to fill all of those, please."

"Sure," I said. Fluttershy leapt into the air, hovering next to my shoulder, and she retrieved a scoop from inside the bag I was holding. She got a scoop of the bird seed and flew towards one of the furthest feeders. I got the hint and walked to the closest feeder, and poured some seed into the bowl-shaped stand. Together, Fluttershy and I worked our way through the feeders. As we filled them, birds flocked in from their houses and nests, and soon the whole of the front yard was full of feathered critters, chirping and singing. It was idyllic, and as Fluttershy and I met at the final feeder, I let out a sigh and set the bag down. "Quite the menagerie you've got here, Fluttershy."

Fluttershy giggled. "Thank you. Though, really, it's more of an aviary right now."

"It's very peaceful here, Fluttershy. You must work hard to keep things in order," Sapphire commented, looking around at the birds. A single sparrow had landed on top of her helmet and was attempting to steal some of the blue hair from the top of it. Sapphire scowled at the little bird, but didn't stop it from taking a few blue strands and flying off to line its nest with the bright material.

"Oh, I don't really do much. I just make sure every animal feels safe while they're here," Fluttershy said with a small shrug, hovering up to a nest to peek in on a few baby birds.

"So, how are you going to get all these birds to Canterlot? Do you have cages for them?" I asked.

Fluttershy giggled. "Oh, no, nothing like that! Here, let me show you." Fluttershy cleared her throat, approaching a group of birds clustered around a feeder. "Excuse me, everybirdy, but I have a friend who would love to hear you sing. Would you mind doing one of the harmonies we practiced together?"

The birds stopped pecking at their food, watching Fluttershy with interest, and once she was done speaking, the five of them clustered together and began to sing. The birds sang the notes at the same time, their different tonalities and voices merging into a harmony. I stared, open-mouthed. Once they were done, I clapped. "Wow. They... they listen to you?"

"Well, yes. It's part of my special talent," Fluttershy said, gesturing to the butterflies on her flank. "I can communicate with animals, and they understand me well enough to help me when I ask them for things. They'll follow me to Canterlot, so I don't need to use cages."

I shook my head, laughing in wonder. "You sure are something."

Fluttershy blushed. "O-oh, it's just... what I do! And the bids love to sing," Fluttershy said, turning to the birds and smiling at them. "Don't you?" The birds all chirped happily at her, and then returned to their meal. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I watched Fluttershy interact with the birds, and after a few moments, she spoke up. "I still have a rehearsal with my feathered friends to finish up for the day, but I won't need help with that. Do you have anypony else you need to visit today, Jake?"

I looked over at Dusky and Sapphire, and Dusky nodded in the affirmative. "We still need to visit Applejack and Rainbow Dash," Dusky said.

"Oh! Well, Applejack is easy. If you follow the road past my cottage a little ways, you'll hit the edge of the apple orchards. Turn onto the road that leads into the orchards, and you'll get to the farm house in the middle. That's where Applejack lives." Fluttershy smiled, "But you'll probably be more likely to find her out in the field than at the house at this time of day."

I knelt down, extending a hand to her. "Thank you, Fluttershy. I'm happy to have met you."

Fluttershy reached out and gently took my hand in two hooves, giving it a comforting squeeze. "I'm very glad that you didn't get hurt the other day. It was very nice to meet you, too. You're welcome back any time... but let me know you're coming, first, okay?"

I smiled. "Thanks." I stood up, taking one last look around the idyllic little space that Fluttershy had built around her home. This was probably the best that I'd felt in a week. "I'll catch you later."

"It was nice to meet you, Fluttershy," Sapphire said, trotting to my side.

"Indeed, it was an honor," Dusky added, nodding politely at Fluttershy.

"Oh, thank you. I'm glad that you both can be there for Jake," Fluttershy said, smiling serenely at them. "Take care, now!"

I gave Fluttershy a wave over my shoulder as I followed the road down past her cottage. Just as Fluttershy had said, the road ran into the edge of an apple orchard very swiftly, but it was almost a half mile of walking before I reached a road that actually led into the orchards themselves. Sapphire brushed her shoulder against my leg as we walked, getting my attention. "So, two down, two to go!" she said with a little laugh. "I'm surprised that Fluttershy was so relaxed with you around. From what I've heard, she's typically very reserved."

I shrugged. "I guess she was more concerned with my well-being to remember to be shy?"

"I guess so," Sapphire said, looking over her shoulder and back towards the way we'd come. After a moment, she smiled up at me. "She's really beautiful, isn't she?"

I blinked. "Who?"

"Fluttershy!" Sapphire said, grinning at me. "You know, she used to be a supermodel?"

I nearly tripped in my surprise. "Wait, what?"

Sapphire giggled. "Yeah. It was a short career, because she hated the industry, but for a while there, she was one of the most desirable pegasus ponies in Equestria!"

I shrugged. "Huh. Well, that's interesting."

Sapphire smirked at me. "Come on, Jake. You're allowed to admit that she's attractive."

"Hmm. Nope," I said, and poked her on the nose.

Sapphire's eyes crossed, her nose wiggled, and then she sneezed.

Dusky chuckled, "Jake has different tastes in his mares. Are you really so surprised?"

Sapphire snorted. "I guess he prefers horns over wings."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't know what I like. I think the most attractive thing about Fluttershy was how passionate she was about her job." I pondered that statement for a moment. "Though, honestly, a lot of the mares I spend time with are really passionate about things they think are important. Celestia, Luna... Rarity."

Sapphire smiled, her ears going flat. "Aw. You think Celestia and Luna are attractive?"

I squinted down at her. "Doesn't everybody?"

Sapphire and Dusky shared a look, and they both nodded. "Well... yeah, but that's like..." Sapphire stammered.

I shrugged. "Besides, just because they're attractive doesn't mean I'd be interested in them. They just are... well, they're friggin' goddesses, right? Sort of expressions of an ideal? Thinking that they're attractive is like thinking that a perfect sculpture or work of art is attractive. It's not the same as finding a real woman attractive." I shook my head. "Does that even make sense?"

"I understand. They're unapproachable, because of their perceived lack of flaws... but our princesses have flaws, Jake. They're mares, beneath the regal demeanor," Dusky said.

Sapphire's tail flicked behind her. "Yeah. Since we're guards, we get to see more of their 'normal' side than most ponies. They don't like being put on a pedestal, but they tolerate it because they know that they can't do anything about it."

I nodded. "I understand. But, like I said, calling them attractive isn't quite the same as calling somepony like Fluttershy attractive. I think they're attractive, but I'm not attracted to them, if that makes sense?"

"You appreciate the aesthetics, but they aren't your type?" Dusky asked.

"I suppose," I said, frowning slightly. This was a tricky topic, and frankly, it was still a little strange to be able to talk about mares as attractive. It carried with it the implications of romance and other things that I was still trying to wrap my head around when it came to the ponies.

Sapphire nudged me with her hip. "Hey, you're slowing down. Too hard to walk and think?"

I chuckled, "I guess so. Wanna give me a ride?"

Sapphire's ears tilted flat and she blushed, "N-no! Jake!"

Dusky chuckled. "You know that asking a mare for a ride carries a very different connotation if she isn't pulling a taxi or a cart, don't you?"

God damn pony etiquette. I rolled my eyes. "Welp, chalk up another social faux pas for me. Sorry, Sapphire."

Sapphire puffed out her cheeks, glaring at me, but then she sighed and shook her head. "Don't worry about it. You didn't know."

"Yeah. And, uh, sorry if bringing up the fact that I helped you—" I started to say, but Sapphire leapt in and interrupted me quickly.

"It's fine! Fine! Just don't bring it up again!" She said, hopping into the air and hovering next to my face, one wing practically slapping me upside the head.

I winced, rubbing the back of my head. "Ow, okay, sorry."

Dusky shook his head, laughing to himself, and gestured forward. "I do believe we have reached our destination."

We reached the center of the apple orchards, and in the middle of all the farmland was an open space containing a group of structures. A farmhouse and a large barn, a silo, and a few other outbuildings stood in a large cluster. The buildings all sported fresh coats of red and white paint. The farmhouse at the center of it all was a two-story affair with a porch that ran the length of the front face of the house. A green pony sat in a rocking chair on the porch, knitting some garment. Her mane was white, and done up in a bun, and she seemed to creak as much as the rocking chair did as she looked up at us as we approached the front step. When her gaze leveled on me, I felt the inexplicable urge to take off my hat, wipe my shoes, and straighten my posture. I wasn't even wearing a hat! I did straighten up a bit, as did Sapphire and Dusky, and we stopped short of the front step as the elderly pony worked her way to her hooves and ambled over to greet us. "Howdy, strangers. You ponies lost?"

"No, ma'am," I said, smiling at her. "We're looking for Applejack. Is she in?"

The green pony squinted at me and leaned forward a bit. "Never seen the likes o' you before. You some kinda monkey?"

I shrugged. Close enough. "I suppose. Is Applejack inside? I was hoping to speak with her."

The old mare shook her head. "Nah, Ay-Jay is out workin' the south orchard. You're welcome to wait here if'n ya want. I'm Granny Smith, by the by, Applejack's grandma."

I chuckled, "Nice to meet you. I'm Jake, and these two are Sapphire and Dusky. As nice as it would be to enjoy your hospitality for a bit, I'd really like to speak with her sooner rather than later. Would you mind if we went looking for her out in the orchards?"

"Eh, I don't mind none. Feel free t' go huntin' for her. Follow the sound of applebuckin'!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Applebucking?"

Granny Smith's eyes widened a bit, and her ears perked forward. "You don't know what applebuckin' is? Well, you're in for a show, then, sonny. You head on out, and listen fer big ol' thwackin' sounds, like somebody's takin' an axe to our trees!"

I glanced at Sapphire and Dusky, and they both offered up shrugs. I smiled at Granny Smith. "Great, thank you." I headed in the indicated direction, walking around the farm house and towards the southern fields. The trees rapidly closed in on us, and until we were lost in the foliage of the orchard. We could peer down long rows that stretched for hundreds of yards in every direction. The quietude of the orchard was broken by the occasional loud sound of something solid hitting wood, almost reminiscent of heavy hammer blows. We followed the noise, walking through the trees. I paused, reaching up to the branches of one and pulling a low-hanging apple down to look at it. I couldn't identify the type of apple, but I could smell the sweetness of the fruit, and it made my mouth water. I reminded myself to buy a few apples before I left the farm. I let the branch go and carried on towards the ever-louder sound of applebucking, my curiosity piqued.

Reaching the end of a row, we came across a trail that skirted the edge of the orchard. A cart was there, laden with bushels of apples. Nearby was the orange farm pony, Applejack. She wore her stetson hat, and had her back turned to an apple tree. Applejack peered over her shoulder, lining up with the tree, and suddenly her back legs gave a little hop and she shifted her weight forward onto only her front hooves. Her rear hooves curled back, and I could see the taught, corded muscles in her back and haunches coil like a spring. With a exhalation, Applejack's rear hooves shot out, striking the tree with a thunderous retort that shook the entire trunk. I could feel the earth beneath my feet jump a bit at the sheer force of the strike, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as I watched the entire tree's worth of fruit tremble and fall. The apples tumbled down into waiting half-barrels that had been positioned around the tree, and not a single one remained on the branches. I whistled. "Holy crap." That was applebucking? It made a lot more sense, now.

Applejack looked up and spotted us approaching her, and she wiped the sweat from her brow before shooting us a quick grin. "Well, howdy. You must be Jake."

"Guilty as charged. You're Applejack?" I asked, feeling a bit silly for stating the obvious.

"That's me," she said, tipping her hat politely. "It's good to finally meet y'all proper-like. And ya got good timing, too. I just finished up this row, here, and I'm ready for a bit of a break."

"Great. Do you mind talking for a bit?" I asked.

"Sure thing, sugar, but first, why don't you introduce your friends?" she asked, trotting over to the cart and reaching into the back for a decanter of water.

"Oh, right," I said, gesturing to the two ponies with me. "These two are Sapphire and Dusky. They're here to make sure I don't do any more stupid stuff."

"Like hollerin' at hydras?" She said, smirking a bit as she took a drink of water. She wiped her mouth with the back of one fetlock, and her eyes narrowed a bit. "Or scarin' baby dragons?" All trace of humor left her voice.

I nodded. "Yeah. That's the idea. I've already spoken with Spike, and I promised to make good on my mistakes, if you were wondering."

"Yeah, I heard you'd said some things," Applejack said slowly, her eyes roaming over my face. "I'm just hopin' you plan on actually followin' through."

Sapphire stepped up beside me, her ears going flat as she spoke. "He's needed some time to follow through on other promises he made to Twilight. He's here for part of that."

Applejack raised an eyebrow at Sapphire. "Ya don't say? Well, all right then. If you've got something to say to me, then you go on ahead and say it."

I avoided glancing down at Sapphire, but I vowed to myself to do something really nice for her when we got home for sticking up for me. I frowned, picking up on the undertone of distrust in Applejack's voice. "I'm not here to apologize, if that's what you're thinking." Screw Twilight. I'd say sorry to Spike, but I'd handle the rest of these ponies on my own terms, and Applejack seemed to be the type to appreciate my way of apologizing.

Applejack's eyes widened in surprise, and she leaned forward a bit. "Say what now?"

"I don't believe in apologies. I think saying that you are sorry is a hollow gesture, and that showing you're sorry is more important. That's why I'm here: to make things right. And that means I'll do whatever it takes to prove I'm more than some idiot that runs after hydras and frightens children." I cleared my throat. "I didn't want to seem dishonest by saying sorry when I didn't really believe in it. I just want to do right by all of you, for putting you through the trouble of saving my ass."

Applejack had leaned forward so far that she nearly fell off the cart by the time I'd finished, and when I did, she sat back, staring at me with an unreadable expression. I held her gaze, standing firm. After a moment, she smiled, chucking softly. "Twilight didn't coach ya or nothin' on how to impress me, did she?"

"No, ma'am," I said, my eyes narrowing a bit at the implication.

She nodded, "I believe ya." With that, she hopped down from the cart and onto all fours, and trotted over to look up at me. "Here's the deal, pardner. You go on and do what you need to do to make things good for the rest of my friends, and then we'll figure out what you can do for me. Sound fair?"

"Sure. Pinkie's already satisfied, and Fluttershy made me promise not to do anything so stupid again, so that just leaves you and... Rainbow Dash?" I turned and looked at Dusky, and he nodded in the affirmative.

Applejack snorted, "Oh, you're gonna have a real hard time with Rainbow Dash. After she found out how you treated Spike, she was rarin' to fly up to Canterlot and give you a piece of her mind." She smirked at me, but the smile didn't quite meet her eyes. "T' be honest, sugar, I was fixin' to buck you across the orchard when you showed up, but you seem sincere, and Twilight told me that you're takin' steps to fix things... so I'm lookin' to reserve my judgement until you've had some time to do good by my friends."

Sapphire bristled a bit when Applejack admitted her anger, stepping closer to me. I nudged her side with my knee, encouraging her to calm down. "That's fair. Honestly, with how easy of a time the rest of your friends had given me, I was starting to feel like this whole exercise was pointless. Pinkie actually made me a cake?"

Applejack laughed, and it was a more genuine thing than I'd seen on her face. "Yeah, that sounds like Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy was awful upset when you almost got yourself killed. I'm sure that she gave you a sad face and made you feel like dirt."

I nodded, rubbing the back of my head. "Yeah, she did."

Applejack turned and headed for another tree, talking as she walked. "Well, you deserve a bit of that. I'm not upset at you for jumpin' in to fight that hydra for us, but you messed up real bad with Spike. He's like a sibling to us gals, and Rainbow Dash and I are the protective types, you understand? So, don't do somethin' so thoughtless again, y'hear? You make Spike happy, and we'll all be happy, Jake."

I let out a slow sigh. "All right. That was my plan, anyway. So... there isn't anything else?"

"Not yet there ain't, but I reckon you're the type of fella that might be nice to have owe me one. So, you owe me somethin', and I'll do the askin' when it pleases me," She said, tossing a smirk over her shoulder at me as she arrived at the beginning of a new row of apple trees.

"Fair enough." I looked down the row of trees, at all the fruit-laden branches that had yet to be harvested. "You're sure you don't want some help with the, uh, applebucking?"

Applejack stopped, turning to face me with her nose wrinkled up as she looked down at my legs. "Sugar, no offense, but unless you can kick hard enough to rattle the fruit off a tree, I think you'd best leave that to the professionals."

I laughed. "Yeah, I don't quite have that kind of strength."

"Ain't nothin' t' do with strength. It's just the earth pony way. A little magic, a little know-how, and a lot of perseverance," She punctuated this declaration with a light kick of one rear hoof against the trunk of a nearby tree. She stopped on the spot and held out her front hoof, and an apple fell right into the waiting limb. She hadn't even looked up. "Ya see?"

I whistled, impressed. "Yes, ma'am."

"Attaboy," Applejack said with a wink. "You run along now. Knowing Rainbow Dash, she's likely prowlin' about or asleep on a cloud. I've got a lot of work t' do, what with this Festival of Friendship comin' up. Twilight wants us Apples to help cater the whole shindig."

I nodded. "Yeah, Fluttershy mentioned that. I guess you're all pulling together to help?"

"Yep. Princess Celestia has been adamant that Twilight use her own abilities to get this whole thing put together, so that means no royal assistance. Twi's on her own with this one, and it's stressin' her out somethin' awful."

I considered the stress she'd displayed when we'd last spoken, and her harsh demeanor and unwillingness to budge on a few things suddenly made more sense. "Well, if it's her deal, then it's probably good that she does it on her own power. She shouldn't need to rely on the other Princesses to get things done, she's very capable." Months of therapy and cultural education flashed through my head. "Extremely capable. She should feel like she's got it."

Applejack smirked. "Well, don't you worry none, sugar cube. We've got this."

I knelt down and offered a fist to Applejack. "I trust you guys. Twilight was probably the first pony I considered a friend, beside Princess Celestia. If she is willing to rely on you, then I'm not worried."

Applejack reached her hoof out and gave my fist a bump. "All right. You take care of things on your end, then. The sooner you follow through, the sooner that bit of stress is off of Twilight and yourself."

I stood up and gave Applejack a little salute. "I'll handle it, and when I'm done, you can feel free to call in that favor."

"Thanks, Jake. Catch ya later!" Applejack gave me a wave, and a polite nod to Sapphire and Dusky. "Nice meetin' ya both." With that, she went back to work, setting out more half-barrels and bucking away. Sapphire and Dusky said their goodbyes and followed me down the rows of trees.

7: Man Cannot Live Without Consequence

View Online

We passed the farmhouse, heading towards the road, and from the porch Granny Smith gave us a wave. I waved back, smiling at the older mare. I noticed a pair of big orange eyes peering out at me from a second story, and gave a wave to the little filly in the window. She was a cutie, with a yellow coat and shockingly red hair tied back with an oversize bow. She waved back uncertainly. I turned and made for the road, feeling a little better about the whole thing. "That was refreshing," I commented to Dusky.

"Refreshing, how?" asked Dusky, peering up at me with curiosity.

"It's been too easy. Pinkie and Fluttershy forgave me out of hand, but Applejack is holding me to my promises. I appreciate that." I sighed. "Honestly, as much as I'm glad that Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy weren't very upset, it was strange just being told not to worry about everything." I looked at Sapphire. "Maybe I'll actually get to do something for Rainbow Dash today, though, and she doesn't just brush things off."

Sapphire snorted, gesturing with her head up towards the sky. "There's your final pony."

I looked up and spotted the rainbow-colored mane and tail of Rainbow Dash up in the sky, angling into a circling pattern around the orchard. I smirked, raising up my hands and waving them over my head to attract her attention. "Speak of the devil. Well, I suppose that makes things much easier."

Rainbow Dash must have spotted me, because her course altered as she bled speed and dove down towards Sapphire, Dusky, and me. She was coming in fast, and landed with a flare of her wings that brought her into a hover a few feet away from me. The maneuver blew back my hair a bit, and I raised up one hand to block anything from getting into my eyes, squinting slightly. When I lowered my hand, my vision was filled with angry blue pegasus mare. "Hey, buddy! What the hay do you think you're doing, wandering around Ponyville?"

"Looking for you, actually," I said, taking a step back from her, but she followed me aggressively.

"Oh?" Rainbow Dash blinked, surprised, and then her eyes narrowed again. "I mean, oh. Of course you are. You must have heard about me. Come to beg for forgiveness?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Not really. I just want—" I started, but Rainbow Dash reached out and poked me in the chest, hard.

"Not really? So, what's your game, then? Here to frighten some more kids? Or insult my friends? Or even threaten them?" She said, sneering.

"If you'll give me a second, I'll explain," I said slowly, making a conscious effort to keep my temper in check. Applejack had told me that Rainbow Dash was upset; I should have been expecting this. Sapphire and Dusky took a few steps closer to Rainbow Dash. Dusky regarded her with an impassive look, but Sapphire's posture had lowered a bit, as if she was ready to jump on the smaller pegasus. Sapphire probably had a few inches on Rainbow Dash, and I was happy to have her there in case things got out of hand.

"Sure, I'll let ya explain," Rainbow Dash said, crossing her forelegs over her chest with a stormy expression on her face. "You got about five seconds."

"I'm doing my best to make things right, so I've been asking all of Twilight's friends what I can do for them. You're the last one I need to talk to," I said, summing it up succinctly for the impatient mare.

Rainbow Dash's angry scowl became a smirk. "What you can do for me? What you can do for me is get bucked, buddy. I'm surprised AJ didn't kick your butt into next week."

I shrugged, trying to keep a cool head. "Whatever you want. You ask, and if I can do it, I will."

"Whatever I want, huh?" Rainbow Dash said, floating down to the ground and peering up at me.

"That's the idea," I said, eyeing her and tensing up.

"Okay, sure. Hold still," Rainbow Dash said, her muscles coiling up.

I knew what was coming, and Dusky and Sapphire obviously did, too, because they moved to stop Rainbow Dash, but I held out a hand and gave a shake of my head. "Sure. Everybody gets one." I held up a single finger, making it clear. "Only one, though."

"One's all I need," Rainbow Dash said. I exhaled hard through my nose and loosened up, preparing for it.

With impressive speed and strength for such a small pony, Rainbow Dash's muscles sprung, launching her into a rising tackle that caught me directly in the gut. The speed and energy of the tackle literally took me off my feet, doubling me over and into Rainbow Dash with a grunt. Beneath me, Rainbow Dash gave a heave of kinetic energy, her hooves wrapping around my midsection and carrying us about five feet into the air before her wings buzzed and we suddenly went from a vertical lift into a horizontal shove. Her wings picked up speed, and we angled down after traversing nearly twelve feet, and she plowed my back into the dirt, landing on top of me. I lay on my back, glad that I'd blown all the air out of my diaphragm; otherwise I'd have been left gasping like a fish out of water from the dual impacts. My back was already throbbing, as were my ribs, but I bit the inside of my cheek, holding in my pain and keeping my face impassive.

I sat up, Rainbow Dash stepped off of me with a smug expression, and I got to my feet. I rose up to my full height once more, ignoring the pain in my spine and guts, and I smirked. "Okay. That's one." Rainbow Dash stared up at me, clearly surprised that I was still standing. I allowed my smirk to widen into a bigger grin, showing her some teeth. "You feeling satisfied, or do you want more? The next one will cost you, though." Dusky and Sapphire were trotting towards us, concern writ large across their faces, but I held up my hand again, and they stopped uncertainly. I didn't need them getting in the way of this. If this was what Rainbow Dash wanted, then she'd get it.

Rainbow Dash slowly smirked, and cracked her neck. "Oh yeah, I want more. You're lucky I got more where that came from, and if I'm being honest, I've been saving it up just for you, buddy."

"I'm happy you cared enough to save up," I said, gritting my teeth through the pain permeating my torso. She wanted more? Fine. She'd hit first, and frankly, she'd been a bitch to me, so I was ready for something more my style. "You don't seem like the type to hold back, though, so be honest: do you just hit like a foal, or are you really just that petite?"

"Jake, you idiot!" Sapphire growled, lunging forward, Dusky right behind her, cursing in Sarosian.

Rainbow Dash's eyes widened with burning anger, and she laughed. "Oh, it's so on!" With a flap of her wings, she was on me like a thunderbolt out of the sky, slamming into me with an uppercut that I blocked across both forearms. Her hoof scraped across my arms, deflecting up and nearly clipping the top of my head, but I shifted my position and threw a savage roundhouse kick that caught the pegasus in the side and sent her sliding through the air. She came at me again with a spear-like dive that turned into a spin kick, and I threw myself to the side, getting the hell out of the way of the attack. She overshot, going over my shoulder, and as she turned I reached up and grabbed a handful of her rainbow mane. Rainbow Dash gasped as I caught her and pulled her out of the sky and into my rising knee, cracking it into her jaw. Her teeth clacked in her mouth, and she grunted, getting her rear hooves beneath her. Both wings shot out, the long bones snapping out and striking me on either side of my head with sharp hits and dazing me, and she took the opportunity to shove my hand out of her mane and get free.

I shook my head and set my feet as she came in again, hovering at eye level in a boxing posture. I blocked two fast punches from her front hooves and took a kick to the ribs that sent pain radiating through my body. The kick left her open in midair as she connected with the attack, and I threw a right hook into her gut, making her exhale a whoosh of air and hit the ground on her side. I clipped her side with a kick, and she rolled away from me. She was back on her hooves, snarling, and her wings snapped, pushing her towards me in a flying punch. I stepped into a haymaker counter-punch aimed for her muzzle. I had reach on her, and she realized it, her eyes going wide at her mistake. I started shifting my aim a bit lower, not actually wanting to destroy her face, but I found my raised fist caught by two hooves from behind.

Dusky held my punch back and grabbed me into an arm-bar, pulling me down to my knees. Sapphire, unfortunately, was a bit slower, and as she dove to tackle Rainbow Dash she missed. Rainbow Dash smashed into me, twisting her punch away from my head and into my chest at the last moment. I grunted, taking the hit, and Sapphire lunged again, blasting into Rainbow Dash's side and bringing her to the ground in a flying tackle. Rainbow Dash went still beneath Sapphire as Sapphire pinned her down with her hooves, pushing her face into the dirt. Dusky cursed and let me go, slipping around my side to check my face and relaxing when he realized that Rainbow Dash hadn't shattered every bone in my skull. His brief moment of relief was rapidly replaced by anger, and he grabbed me by the shirt with one hoof. "H'syn'shym, what were you thinking?!"

Sapphire growled, "He obviously wasn't!" Sapphire glared down at Rainbow Dash. "We should lock you both up for this!"

"A mutual round of hooficuffs isn't against the law, last time I checked," Rainbow Dash grumbled from the ground, grunting as Sapphire shifted her weight.

"You're lucky it isn't, you... you... idiots!" Sapphire said, easing up on Rainbow Dash a bit.

"A mutual affray might not be against the law, but disorderly conduct certainly is," Dusky said, giving me a little shake. "You pull a stunt like that again, and I don't care how close we are or how mutual the fight is, I'll take you to a cell to cool off for a day. Maybe some time alone would do you some good." He looked over his shoulder and called out to Rainbow Dash, "The same goes with you, Rainbow Dash. If Princess Twilight found out you'd gotten into a fight, she'd be so upset with you."

I stayed on my knees, breathing hard, and I reached up with shaking hands to wipe some blood from my forearms where Rainbow's hooves had hit me as I'd blocked. I hurt all over, and my body was coursing with adrenaline. I looked up into Dusky's hard eyes and shrugged. "She asked for it."

"Just because she asked doesn't mean you should oblige, Jake!" Dusky said, frowning at me and letting me go. "You're a fool, and so is she. Perhaps we should have let you finish."

"We were already done," I said, wincing and slowly getting to my feet. My head spun, and I teetered, and Dusky reached out a hoof and steadied me. "Right, Rainbow?"

"Mmngf," Rainbow mumbled, pulling her face out of the dirt to look up at me. She spat off to the side, grunting. "Yeah. We were done."

I reached down and carefully poked at my ribs. One was probably bruised from that first heavy hit, or maybe the kick. It hurt to breathe, and I decided to drop the tough act as I let out a groan and sat back down. "Jesus, woman. I take back what I said about you hitting like a foal."

Sapphire glared at me and slowly got off of Rainbow Dash, before she marched over to me and started checking my injuries. "Jake, do me a favor and don't ever do that again, okay?"

"No promises," I said with a grunt as Sapphire discovered the bruise beneath my shirt. She scowled and pushed a little harder on my aching ribs. "Ow, damnit, stop that," I said, wincing, and earning a frown from Sapphire.

"You're the first in a while that's been able to get up after I hit them with a flying tackle like that," Rainbow Dash said, sitting up unsteadily and working her jaw around with a whine of pain.

"You okay?" I asked, watching her. My knee had split her lower lip when I'd pulled her into that strike.

"Mmf, I'll live. Believe it or not, I've been hit harder. Heck, I've crashed harder," Rainbow Dash said, chuckling slightly before wincing and rubbing at her muzzle. "I think you broke my jaw," she muttered through clenched teeth.

"Well, you probably cracked a rib," I said, lifting up my now-dirty shirt. I had an almost perfect hoof-shaped bruise on my side. That was going to be an ugly one tomorrow.

"Well, you deserved it," She countered, trying to move her mouth as little as possible as she walked slowly towards me. Sapphire turned to face her and practically growled, stepping in between Rainbow Dash and me in an unsubtle maneuver. Rainbow Dash stopped short and raised an eyebrow at Sapphire. "Chill out, filly. We're done."

I put a hand on Sapphire's back in a soothing gesture, and she calmed down a bit, stepping to the side after a long moment. "Don't do anything dumber than you've already done, Rainbow Dash," she said cautiously, her wings spreading out a bit and at the ready.

Rainbow Dash kept her wings in tight at her sides, and she lowered her head a bit. "Yeah, I won't." She turned her focus on me, frowning. "I think you understand me when I say... sometimes you gotta settle stuff with your hooves. Friendship might be Twilight's job, but mine is loyalty, and that means it's my job to stick up for friends that can't stick up for themselves." Her more impassive frown became a glare. "You messed up Spike pretty bad. You know that, right?"

"Yeah. I wish I hadn't, but I did, so I'm going to fix things," I said, finally managing to catch my breath.

"Good. AJ and I are expecting a lot out of you, and if you can't follow through, we're gonna be even more pissed than we are now. Ya feel me?" She asked, glaring at me.

"Sure. I'll do whatever it takes, just like I told Spike," I replied. She and I stared at each other for a few long moments, and then we both smirked.

"You'd better get things settled, Jake. You might have some issues, but I kinda feel like you're my kind of guy," Rainbow Dash said, extending her hoof. "So, promise me that you'll make it right."

"I'll do better than promise. I'll make it happen," I said, reaching out and bumping her hoof with my fist. We both winced, and rubbed our respective aching limbs.

Sapphire stared between Rainbow Dash and I, her mouth slowly dropping open, before she let out a disgusted groan. "Sweet Celestia, you're both so stupid."

Rainbow Dash snorted and turned to look at Sapphire, her eyes roving over the bigger pegasus mare. After taking a long look, she winked at Sapphire and said, "Yep, we sure are. Nice tackle, by the way. Ever think about becoming a Wonderbolt?"

Sapphire froze up, her brain trying to decide how to react. After a moment, she said flatly, "I like being a guard."

Rainbow Dash giggled, and then winced and rubbed her jaw. "Ngh, well, if you ever want a change in career, come on over to the training center. We can always use more pegasus ponies with moxie like you." She turned and trotted a few paces, and paused to look over her shoulder. "Catch you later, Jake." Rainbow Dash leapt into the sky, and was soon heading back towards Ponyville over the orchards.

Just as she was leaving, Applejack ran up in a hurry, breathing hard and glancing around. "What the hay is goin' on? Apple Bloom said Jake and Rainbow Dash were fightin' in the front yard!"

I chuckled, and winced and held my sides. "Oh, no. We were just getting acquainted."

"Gallopin' galoshes, you look like you got hit by a truck! Did you and Rainbow really get into a fight?"

"Yes. They got into a fight. Like idiots. Big, stupid, idiots," Sapphire said, glaring at me.

Applejack snickered. "Well, ah'm mighty sorry about that, Jake. I knew Rainbow was sore with ya, but I didn't expect it to go that far." She shook her head. "So, you think you and Rainbow are gonna get along fine, now? I know how that mare is, and if you're anything alike, I'll eat my hat if you ain't friends now."

I shrugged. "Friends is a strong word. I think we understand each other."

"Well, good. Sounds like you both got what you deserve," Applejack said, chuckling to herself.

"They both deserve to be locked up," Dusky said, shaking his head in exasperation and letting out a helpless chuckle.

"Yeah, laugh it up, silly ponies," I said with a groan as I got back onto my feet. Sapphire moved up against my side, helping me keep my balance. My head ached from the double wing slap I'd taken, and I felt like crap. "Well, now that I've gotten the manure thoroughly kicked out of me, now seems like a great time to pay Twilight a visit."

Applejack laughed. "All right, then. I've gotta get back to work. You take it easy, Jake... and try not to get into any more fights." Applejack tipped her hat to us, and trotted back towards the orchards. We said our farewells, and I turned to look at Dusky and Sapphire. They were both still obviously upset with me, frowning and tails lashing in irritation.

I sighed. "Sorry about that. I know that... isn't how things get settled here, but you need to understand that where I'm from, stuff like that happens. We fight, sometimes, but at the end it's easy to figure out where everybody stands."

"You really should leave that piece of your old life behind, Jake. It's barbaric to come to blows over a disagreement, no matter how heated," Dusky said slowly. "We ponies value diplomacy over violence, and words over blows. You could stand to learn from us on that matter."

Sapphire shook her head, her ears pinned back in irritation. "Cloudsdale pegasus ponies still hold to some of our military past. They're famed for being hotheads, and Rainbow Dash is proud of that piece of her. I think it's stupid, but I understand it, even if I disagree... but you can always strive to do better. So, I guess I understand where you're coming from." She looked up at me, frowning. "You aren't going to fight her again if you see her, right?"

I shook my head. "No. Like I said, we understand each other. It's done. She had to defend her friend, and show me that my actions won't go unanswered or unpunished just because Spike couldn't stand up for himself in that moment. I deserved that first hit, and all the rest was just aggression and bravado that needed to be worked out." I smirked at Sapphire, "By the way, thanks for messing up that tackle you tried on Rainbow Dash back there."

Sapphire bristled. "She's fast, okay?" She turned away from me, her tail lashing angrily. "I got her the second time."

"You're just lucky she pulled her punch at the last second," I said, rubbing my chest where her hit had impacted. I was probably going to have Rainbow Dash's hooves imprinted there for a few days.

"You're the one that's lucky we aren't taking you to jail," Sapphire retorted, and started trotting away towards Ponyville. I glanced at Dusky and gave a shrug, and we both followed after Sapphire. She kept her distance for a good way down the road, all the way until we were out of the orchards, before she paused, waiting for us to catch up. Her ears drooped a bit as she looked up at me. "I... didn't ask if you were okay. You didn't get hurt too badly, did you?"

"Nah," I said, even though my bruised torso disagreed with me. "I just need a shower and some aspirin."

"Good," Sapphire said, biting her lip. "I was worried, but if you're sure you're okay...?"

I rolled my eyes, reaching down and patting her on top of her helmet. "I'm fine, Sapphire. Nothing a little rest won't fix." A lot of rest, probably.

Sapphire puffed out her cheeks, "Don't patronize me."

I snickered. "Sorry. You're cute when you're getting all mother hen."

"Am I not allowed to worry?" She said, snorting in irritation.

"No, it's fine. I don't mind, but I'm definitely going to tease you about it," I said, grinning at her.

Sapphire rolled her eyes, but I could see a slight curl at the corner of her lips, and we carried on towards Ponyville in a more comfortable silence. After a long moment, Dusky asked quietly, "What's an... aspirin?"

We arrived at Twilight's kooky tree-house castle late in the afternoon, and I peered up at the bizarre structure from the base of it. It was an entire castle made from glass-like crystal that caught the rays of the sun and shone with a friendly warmth, despite the cold appearance of the material it was made from. Halfway up, it transformed into a violet-walled castle interwoven with branch-like crystals, with shining golden roofs. It was an amalgam of natural formations of crystal and architectural lines and edges, creating an odd juxtaposition of styles. I shook my head. "And I thought Canterlot architecture was weird."

"I think it's whimsical and beautiful," Sapphire said, smiling up at the crystal structure, her eyes bright with interest and ears quivering with excitement. "Friendship Castle is a marvel of magic."

I shrugged. "It's still a silly nonsense tree-house with an equally silly name," I said, watching as Dusky knocked on the front double doors.

"It is rather strange, I'll agree," Dusky said, "but it is marvelous, nonetheless."

After a moment, one of the huge doors opened, and Spike peered out from inside. "Sorry, ponies, but Princess Twilight is—" he stopped mid-sentance, looking up at me and freezing on the spot. I gave him a slow nod, trying my best to look nonthreatening. "Uh... hello," Spike said, swallowing hard and taking a step back. "I guess Twilight is expecting you, if you're here?"

"Yeah, she wanted to meet with me after I finished apologizing to all your friends," I said.

"Oh, uh, well, that's fine." He pushed the door open a bit wider, avoiding looking at me, and he hustled inside. "Come on in. Twilight is in the library."

"No surprise there," I said, chuckling, and the three of us followed Spike into the castle. The interior was warmly decorated, with rugs laid down over the crystal floors and tapestries hanging on the walls. The place still echoed with our muffled footfalls and hoofsteps, but it was much less noisy than I expected. The library was up a flight of stairs and in one of the side wings, and it was an extremely large affair with double-stacked shelves packed with books, tomes, and scrolls. A few reading tables sat at the center of the library, and it was here that Twilight was stationed. The tables had been pulled together, and they were filled with notes, maps, diagrams, and lists. Twilight stood at the head of this mess, two scrolls floating on either side of her and two quills working simultaneously, writing as she mumbled to herself. Spike gestured into the Library. "Well, there she is. I'm... gonna go somewhere else," he said, and quickly made his exit, scampering away into the castle. I almost called out to him, but I reconsidered and focused on Twilight instead, walking into the Library with Sapphire and Dusky behind me.

Twilight glanced up at us as we entered, worked for a moment more, and then her eyes widened and she actually looked up to see us. She smiled sheepishly, setting aside both of the scrolls, and waved a hoof for us to come closer. "Oh, you're here! You're earlier than I expected."

I gave her a polite nod, and Sapphire and Dusky bowed. "Hello, Princess." I hadn't seen her since our encounter at the diner, and that was fresh in my mind. I'd damaged the trust between us, and I remembered to speak a bit more formally to her until we were back on more friendly terms. "If you'd like, we can come back later. You seem busy."

Twilight laughed, her tone slightly manic, "Oh, busy? Yes, that's certainly a word for it. I know a few others. Some of them are even impolite!" One eyelid twitched slightly, and I took a slow step back. She noticed her near-hysteric state and took a deep breath, closing her eyes. After a moment, she relaxed a bit, her wings drooping at her sides. "Sorry. I'm a little bit stressed out."

"No kidding," I said carefully, still eyeing her with uncertainty.

Twilight let out a frustrated groan, and slumped briefly. She took another deep breath, and gestured to Sapphire and Dusky. "You both are dismissed for now. I need to speak to Jake alone. Corporal Spirit, would you please go and fetch Spike, and tell him to come and see me?"

Sapphire gave a quick salute, "Yes, Princess." Dusky bowed again, and they both walked out of the Library.

Twilight composed herself, tucking her wings in and straightening up before looking at me. "So. Jake. You've done as I asked?"

"Yes. I went and visited each of your friends, and told them that I'd do my best to make up for my mistakes," I said.

"And you apologized?" Twilight said, one eyebrow raising slightly.

"To Pinkie Pie? Yes. I apologized to her, because I'd done her wrong in a direct way. Pinkie Pie and I are fine. I have to do some taste testing with her, eventually, which is what she wanted me to do to make up for being mean to her." Twilight's eyes narrowed, waiting for me to continue. "I spoke to Fluttershy, and promised her that I'd be more careful in the future when making dangerous decisions, and she forgave me as well. I still want to go and help her with some work, but there will be time for that on another day." I rubbed the back of my neck. "Applejack didn't get an apology, but she accepted that I owed her some help at another date of her choosing, and told me that what she wanted was to see me make things right with Spike, first." I decided that putting my encounter with Rainbow Dash in the most mild terms would be best. "And I got into a fight with Rainbow Dash, but we reached an mutual understanding of one-another."

Twilight frowned, shaking her head. "So... you really only actually apologized to Pinkie Pie?"

"No, I promised to make things right with all of them, and Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie forgave me out of hand... hoof... whatever. They forgave me, even though I don't really deserve that since I hadn't done anything to prove I would change my behavior," I said, standing firm.

Twilight sighed, turning away from me for a moment and muttering something under her breath. "I really wish you'd have apologized properly to all of them, Jake. You know that's our way, here in Equestria."

"I apologized in my own way, Princess, and that was unequivocally accepted by all of your friends," I stated slowly.

"All of my friends don't know that you're a violent person that's been only recently been rehabilitated. This is supposed to be part of your process, Jake; Accepting friendship and the values that go with it is important to your future stability, and part of that is understanding that words have power and carry weight."

"Words only have power if they're backed up with action, Princess," I retorted, crossing my arms over my chest.

"That's true, but there's a basic social contract that is acknowledged by using those words." Twilight turned around, facing me. "You went most of your life around people that were, frankly, uncivilized. Murderers and criminals made up the majority of your peer group. You never learned basic social expectations, or you learned the twisted expectations of those people, and part of undoing that damage is understanding that you need to be able to both walk the walk and talk the talk when you're among peers. You're in a position where you not only stand for yourself, but since you work for the Princesses, you stand for their values and the values of Equestria as well. By not following those values, you're failing in your duties. Do you understand that?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Princess Twilight, you may think that you've rehabilitated me, and I've taken many steps along that path, but there are things that you and I are going to fundamentally disagree on. I recognize that words carry weight, but I believe that action is more important."

"And how you're acting is like a stubborn child!" Twilight said, stomping one hoof.

"You're the one that's out-and-out rejecting my values without giving them any due consideration!" I said right back, glaring at her. That gave Twilight pause, and I pressed that line. "You're supposed to be the Princess of Friendship, and you must have learned that different people are going to think differently. We don't all need to conform to your ideal, Twilight. I'm asking you as a friend, as well as a subject, to give me the opportunity to express myself in my own way."

Twilight stared at me with careful consideration, before letting out a slow sigh and approaching me. "I understand, Jake. I do. I just worry that the values you hold close... well, they're from a life that you said you wanted to put behind you completely. I worry that clinging to some parts of that old life... could lead you back into that dark place you just barely escaped from. Can you understand why I'm apprehensive about your beliefs? You learned them from really awful people."

"Bad people can teach important lessons," I said simply.

Twilight's eyes widened a bit, and she smiled slightly. "I guess you're not wrong, there. A lot of important lessons my friends and I learned were from the villains we overcame."

"And I'm just one more villain that you've given a second chance," I murmured.

Twilight frowned at that, now standing right before me, and she tapped her hoof. "Get down here." I knelt down, getting eye-to-eye with her, and she put a hoof on my shoulder. "You may have been a villain, but you're my friend, now. That won't ever change, even if we disagree on things. You're allowed to be different, and I'm sorry for pushing you to conform, but I just worry about what's best for you. You had a serious setback with what happened with Rarity, and I know you're hurting, but I don't want you to feel like the world is falling apart just because of one really terrible thing somepony did to you." Twilight's eyes hardened slightly at the mention of Rarity, and she mumbled. "Rarity and I have had a few discussions about her behavior as well."

I sighed. "You two are fighting?"

Twilight hesitated, before nodding. "Yeah. I'm just... really disappointed in her. And I know she's disappointed in herself, but she hurt your progress with her thoughtlessness. That made me really upset, and... well, I feel complicit, because I enchanted that stupid hat."

I recalled the stupid hat, and frowned. "You didn't know why, though, right?"

"No. She said she needed a muffling spell on a certain range of tonality because of some neighbor doing yard work late at night. I should have realized she was lying to me," Twilight said, scowling to herself.

"It's not your fault, Twilight. Rarity just really... really messed up," I said, my mind wandering to my best friend. Former best friend? I realized I hated the complexity of things at the moment. I needed to fix things and get back on track.

"She's had problems with stallions before. Guys trying to get close to her because of her influence or power. It's been hard for her, but she shouldn't have stooped to lying," Twilight said, shaking her head and sighing. "Everypony was really upset with her once they found out. I don't think she's been out of her boutique in a few days, actually, and I... haven't made much of an effort to go see her. I don't think anypony else has, either. I think as far as Applejack and Rainbow Dash are concerned, she's getting what she deserves, and I'm of a similar mind." Twilight shrugged, frowning. "I should probably go and see her."

This whole situation may have been Rarity's fault, but I couldn't help but feel for her. She was probably miserable, and even if it was a sort of karmic justice, I still felt a little twist in my gut when I thought about her being unhappy. "I'll go and check in on her," I said quietly.

Twilight looked up at me, surprised. "Jake, you don't have to do that. I'll go see her."

"No, it's all right. You're really busy right now, and really stressed, but you need to deal with your... festival thing," I said, giving a vague nod towards the tables full of plans. "I need to talk with Rarity, too. I've gotten some time and distance. It's overdue."

Twilight chuckled. "I see my friends mentioned the Festival of Friendship."

"It seems like a pretty big deal," I said, smiling at her carefully.

"Yeah. It's going to be incredible, if I can get everything going. I've only got a week more of time to plan, and then it's showtime. I'm still trying to coordinate everything between all of my friends and the guests. We've even got a famous Cloudsdale musician coming to do a concert," Twilight looked over towards the tables, her gaze lingering for a moment, before she turned back to me. "I'm sorry, Jake. It's been a rough few days for you, I know, and I wish I had more time to really talk to you, but... I was angry after what happened with Spike, and then after I found out how Rarity had lied to me and you about things... and then the Festival..." Twilight shook her head, her ears drooping a bit. "I don't want to let you down, Jake. You and I worked together a lot while you were getting better, and I feel like I haven't been the best mentor that I could have been."

"I'm sorry, too. I got so overwhelmed by everything that happened... I lost control, and I hurt Spike. I'm just glad that you, Spike, and all of your friends are willing to give me a second chance." I reached out and put a hand on her back, and Twilight stepped into my chest and pulled me into a warm hug, her forelegs and wings wrapping around me. I let out a slow sigh, feeling the tension between us drain away. After a silent moment, Twilight stepped away. "You're a good friend, Twilight."

"You're a good friend, too, Jake. Even if we disagree on some things, I think that you're doing right by yourself, and that's what is really important," Twilight said gently. Twilight turned and took a few steps towards the table, and then noticed Spike, who was hovering at the entrance to the library, watching us with an uncertain smile on his face. Twilight waved a hoof towards him. "Spike, come on in."

Spike hesitantly walked into the room, pausing only long enough to close the door behind himself, and stood close to Twilight's side. He looked anywhere but at me. "Did you need something, Twi?"

"Yeah. Jake's here to talk with you, too, so I want you to talk with him. I'll be right here, and I want you to speak to him honestly. He needs to know what you want from him, because he wants... he wants to make things right."

I smiled at Twilight's choice of words, but carefully arranged my expression into a one of seriousness. I didn't want Spike to think I wasn't considering his words with the gravity he deserved. I stayed down on one knee to avoid adding a height difference to this situation. Spike nodded and took a deep breath. He finally met my eyes, and spoke slowly and carefully. "Jake... you really made me afraid of you, but I've been afraid of other things before and I've overcome those things. I want... I want to overcome my fear, so maybe we can start being friends, but it's kind of... weird?" He hesitated, frowning and fidgeting in place. "I know you only got upset at me because of what Rarity made me do, and I shouldn't have lied to you, but you... well, you were scary." He shivered, and I winced internally, though I kept my face impassive. "So, I decided that the best way that we're going to get past this is to spend time together. I already talked to Princess Luna, and she said that she's willing to release you from your duties in her court for a few days. You'll work here, with me, for two days. I'll be your boss, and we'll do the jobs that I always do for Twilight. Organizing books, taking letters, and helping her out with planning for the Festival of Friendship." He swallowed hard, and took a firm stance. "But, I'll be in charge of you. So you have to do what I say. Does that sound... okay?"

I nodded. It was actually an elegant solution, and I was impressed. "You came up with this idea on your own?"

"Well... yeah. Twilight gave me some ideas, but when I realized that you wanted to work to show me that you were sorry, it was sorta obvious what the best way to do that would be," Spike said, smiling slightly at his own cleverness.

"I think it's a really great idea," I said honestly, nodding to him. "I accept."

Spike grinned cautiously. "Uh, well, great! So... I guess we can get started right away?" He asked, looking between Twilight and I.

Twilight nodded. "Jake has one more thing to do today, so tomorrow he'll be working for you."

I glanced at Twilight with curiosity, and then remembered what I needed to do. "I need to talk to Rarity," I explained to Spike.

"O-oh," Spike said, stiffening up at the mention of the unicorn. "You... you're mad at her, too?"

"Yeah, I am, but... well, it's complicated," I said, trying to speak honestly.

"Jake's upset with Rarity, but he still cares about her, just like you and I do. He's going to do me a favor and check on her, and they're going to talk," Twilight said, reaching up and gently rubbing Spike on the back.

Spike sighed. "Oh. Okay." He frowned, considering something, and then looked at me. "Can... can you tell Rarity something for me, when you go and see her?"

"Sure," I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Would... would you tell her that I'm ready to accept her apology?" Spike looked down at his feet. "I don't want to be angry at her anymore."

My heart went out to the little dragon, and I had to resist the urge to give him a hug. I settled for a smile, instead. "Yeah. I'm sure that'll make her feel better, Spike."

"Thanks, Jake," Spike said, returning the smile with a shy one of his own. God, he was cute. I felt just a little worse for having done him wrong, and vowed to carry out working under him with the utmost seriousness. I stood up, doing my best to ignore how Spike took a step away from me and closer to Twilight as I rose to my full height.

"I guess I'm going to go now, then. Is there a place for me to stay, here?"

"Oh, yes, we have several guest rooms, we'll put you up in one for the next few days. If you want, you can head up to Canterlot tonight and get anything you need, and then come back in the morning," Twilight said, smiling at me.

I took stock of myself, noting my dirty shirt and pants, and sighed. "Do you have a laundry?"

"We do, actually," Twilight said with a smile. "I was meaning to ask, but I got distracted; What happened to your clothes?"

"I told you, I got into a fight with Rainbow Dash," I said, ignoring her surprised look. "I'll use your laundry later, then. I'm going to go see Rarity. I'd rather not put this off while I've got some kind of momentum going."

"Wait, you actually got into a fight with Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked with an exasperated look my way, her tail flicking.

I shrugged. "Yeah, but it helped. We needed to work some stuff out, and she really needed to show me that I couldn't just do stupid stuff and get away with it."

"You've been suffering plenty of consequences!" Twilight said, stomping one hoof in irritation. "Did she start it?"

"It doesn't matter, Twilight," I said, rolling my eyes. I didn't have time for this. It was already starting to get towards evening, and I needed to get things with Rarity sorted. "Don't bother her about it. I deserved at least a bit of what she dished out, and I gave as good as I got, and we're okay."

"You... you got assaulted by one of my friends! How is that okay at all?!" Twilight said, glaring at me.

"Because we didn't really hurt each other, and it made me feel better, and it made Rainbow Dash feel better, and it settled things between us. She did you all a favor, in my opinion. Somebody needed to slap me for failing to control myself with Spike."

Spike frowned. "I'm not sure that's very cool."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "It's not cool. It's dumb!" She pointed an accusing hoof at me. "You're dumb!" she declared, exasperation evident in her puffed out wings and lashing tail.

I smirked at Spike, ignoring Twilight. "It just means you've got friends willing to fight for you when you feel like you can't. That's about as good a friend as you can ask for, where I'm from."

Spike considered my words, and Twilight bristled visibly. "Don't tell him that fighting is good, Jake!"

I laughed, and reached out and poked the tip of her muzzle, eliciting an annoyed snort from the peeved princess. "This barely counted as a fight, Twilight. Just let it go. I said I'm fine, and Rainbow is fine, too. I'll see you later, okay?" I said, giving her a small bow and turning on my heel to march out of the library.

"Jake!" Twilight protested, but ultimately let out a frustrated groan and mumbled something to herself as I left. Outside the doors, Sapphire and Dusky were standing nearby, trying very hard not to look like two ponies that had been attempting to eavesdrop on a conversation in the other room.

"Come on, guys. One last stop. I'm going to stay here for the next two days, so you guys might need to report in to Canterlot or whatever." I explained, heading back down the pathways through the castle to the main doors.

"You're staying here?" Sapphire asked, smiling.

"Yeah. Twilight already cleared it, so I guess I'll be under her direct supervision for a few days," I replied. "It's part of how I'm going to fix things with Spike. I'll be working as his assistant for two days, so he'll be in charge of me."

Sapphire giggled. "That's sort of adorable. Big 'ol Jake, getting ordered around by a baby dragon."

I snorted. "Yeah, yeah. That starts tomorrow. Tonight, however, I'm going to go and talk to Rarity."

Sapphire and Dusky shared a surprised look. Dusky spoke up first. "You'll be meeting with Miss Rarity?"

"More like checking in on her. I guess all her friends are pretty upset with her after her lies caused this whole situation. I... just want to clear the air between us. Maybe figure some things out." I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe this is a dumb idea."

"You don't owe her anything, Jake," Sapphire said, frowning.

"Sapphire isn't wrong... but you shouldn't allow a bad situation in a relationship to stand, especially when you are ready to forgive," Dusky said carefully, glancing at Sapphire.

I considered Dusky's words and shrugged. I didn't have any answers right now, and I wouldn't until I'd talked with Rarity. The sun was just beginning to settle onto the horizon as we walked across Ponyville. The town was much more quiet as dusk approached, with less ponies on the roads, and the walk to Carousel Boutique was uneventful and swift. Before I knew it, I found myself standing at the front door of the boutique, my hand raised up and ready to knock. I hesitated for a moment, taking in a calming breath, just like Twilight had taught me. I didn't feel much better, but I could feel my pounding heart ease up a bit. Sapphire reached a hoof out and gently touched my knee. "We'll wait outside."

"Thanks," I said, nodding to her and Dusky. "I really appreciate you both being here for me. You're good ponies... I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Get into more stupid fights, undoubtedly," Dusky said with a chuckle.

Sapphire giggled, and reached up with one hoof and pulled off her helmet, shaking out her short mane and sighing. "We'll take a break while we wait."

I smirked and turned back to the door, and gave it a firm knock. The sound echoed through the boutique, and there was no response. After a few moments, I knocked again, more insistently. A light turned on after a minute, and I could hear muffled hoofsteps approach the door. The door creaked open, and I had to crane my neck to look down at a white unicorn filly with a purple and pink mane done up in bouncy curls. "Um, the boutique is closed for the day. I'm sorry. Can I take a message?" She made a show of not looking up at me directly, and was obviously a bit anxious.

I squinted down at the little filly, and smiled, crouching down to get onto her level. "Hey. You must be Rarity's little sister." I did my damnedest to remember her name, but in the moment I was having trouble. Maybe it would come to me.

She finally looked at me, her bright green eyes wide. "You're Jake, aren't you?"

"I am. I'm here to talk with Rarity. Would you let her know I'm here, please?" I asked, keeping my tone even and gentle.

The little unicorn sighed. "She doesn't want you to see her. She's been in an awful state since everything happened." She looked up at me, frowning as she considered me for a moment, and then she stomped her little hoof. "But I think you should come in and talk to her!"

I rocked back on my heels a little bit, surprised by her forcefulness. "Really?"

"Yeah. She's being dumb and sad, and she's wallowing, and it's not actually helping her at all. The only thing she'll do at all is... well, I'll let her talk to you about that. But you need to help her snap out of it!" She said firmly.

I chuckled. Strong mares apparently ran in Rarity's family. "I can't promise I'll make her feel a lot better, but I think I might help a bit. What's your name, by the way? I know Rarity told me, but I can't remember."

She blinked, surprised, and blushed. "Oh! I'm sorry. I'm Sweetie Belle!" She gave me a prim little bow that gave me heart palpitations. "I'm happy to finally meet you. Rarity's been talking a lot about you, and that's why I think you're probably the only pony... person... that can help!" She declared, her voice rising to a squeak at the end.

I put out my hand in a fist. "It's good to finally get to meet you. I'll do what I can for Rarity, okay?"

"Okay," Sweetie Belle said with a serious nod, her hoof stretching out and bumping my fist gently. "She's upstairs," she explained, stepping to the side to allow me entrance into the boutique. She noticed Dusky and Sapphire standing a few paces away and her eyes grew wide. "Do they want to come in, too?"

"No, they're fine, I think," I said, glancing at my two friends. They both smiled and Sapphire gave me a shooing gesture and a wink.

"Oh, okay... well, maybe I'll keep them company!" Sweetie Belle leaned closer, pointed at Sapphire, and whispered. "I really like her mane."

I nodded to Sweetie Belle, and she scampered by me to introduce herself to the guards, while I walked inside the boutique. The interior was mostly dark, with the showroom lights all off, and there were materials and things thrown all over the floor of the large room. It was a mess, which startled me a bit. I'd seen Rarity's workrooms before, but she typically kept her "organized chaos" confined to a single space. That convention had obviously been thrown out the window, judging by the state of things. I walked up the stairs and stopped just at the threshold of Rarity's bedroom, reaching up and knocking gently on the closed door. I heard some movement from inside, and then silence. I knocked again, and called out, "Rarity. It's me."

It was quiet for a long moment, and then Rarity's voice floated through the door. "Wha—? Jake?"

"I'm here to talk to you, Rarity," I said, taking a deep breath as I did so.

"Jake... please, I..." I could hear hooves pattering across the floor inside, and when she spoke again, it was much closer to the door. "I don't suppose I could ask you to come back later? I don't mean to be rude, but I'm in a... rather sorry state."

I frowned. "No. This needs to happen, Rarity, and I'm not letting you..." I remembered the word Sweetie Belle had used, "wallow alone in the boutique any more." I leaned against the wall next to the door. "You've got five minutes, okay?"

"Five minutes?!" Rarity gasped, sounding panicked. "I—well, I suppose I'm lucky to be given any time at all, aren't I?"

"Four minutes and fifty seconds, Rarity," I said, allowing a little teasing tone to enter my voice.

"Jake!" Rarity whined, but I could hear her scampering about frantically, murmuring to herself as she did... whatever she was doing. The five minutes passed rather rapidly, and I knocked on the door. "Just one more moment?" she asked plaintively.

"Nope. I'm opening the door," I said, and I did so, pushing it open slowly. The inside of Rarity's room was a disaster, with fabric and patterns and things strewn all over the place among sewing supplies and even her sewing machine. The bed was unmade, and there were a few dirty dishes and a dozen empty tubs of ice cream on the night stand. In the middle of it all stood Rarity. She was a mess; her mane was unkempt, her coat was unbrushed, and her eyes were red and puffy. She was wearing a puffy white and pink bath robe that was equally ruffled. She'd cleared a bit of space around herself on the floor, and she'd thrown a sheet over a bunch of unidentifiable items.

Rarity smiled nervously, one trembling hoof reaching up to wipe quickly at her face. "Hello, Jake," she said softly.

"Hey," was all I could manage for a moment as I took in the scene. I kept myself composed, however, and I kept talking. "I've been going around town today, meeting most of your friends."

"O-oh? How are they?" Rarity asked, her eyes widening a bit while her ears drooped.

"Well, Spike says hello," I started with, deciding a little positive news would be good. "He said that he's ready to accept your apology."

"Oh, Spike..." Rarity said, smiling gently. "He really is a sweetheart."

"Yeah. He and I are gonna get things figured out after the mess I made of our budding friendship. I'll be working with him in Ponyville for two days as his assistant," I said, chuckling to myself.

Rarity giggled and sat down on the floor, settling in to talk. "That sounds like it will be a nice time. You'll get to resolve some issues and perhaps bond with one-another?"

"I hope so," I said, stepping a little bit farther into the room. Rarity blushed, regarding the mess around her room, and used her telekinesis to clear a spot for me on the floor. I walked to the space and sat down across from her with a sigh, and looked across at her. "Been having a rough few days?"

Rarity bit her lip, looking down at her hooves. "I should be asking you that question, darling. I brought this on myself, you are the wronged party."

I shrugged. "Just because you did something wrong doesn't mean you aren't allowed to feel bad. Your friends are mad at you right now, and you've been shut away in your boutique. It's pretty obvious you're in rough shape."

Rarity laughed wryly. "Yes, beside the devastation of my room and the shape of my mane and coat, I'm sure there are a few clues that I'm having some bad days."

I smirked and gave a shrug. "They say I'm perceptive..."

Rarity's next laugh was a more genuine thing, "Indeed, you have a knack for spotting the fine details." She sighed, and her demeanor returned to a more relaxed state. "How have you been, Jake?"

I looked down at my hands. "Busy. A few ponies have made certain that I haven't had much time to... wallow in self-pity or get too depressed. I spent my entire day meeting your friends, and I got into a fight with Rainbow Dash. Twilight and I worked out a few issues. I think I can almost chalk up the day in the 'win' column."

"Almost?" Rarity asked, leaning forward a bit.

"Almost, because I haven't gotten a chance to speak with you. The jury is still out on the day until then," I said, looking up at her.

Rarity nodded, and swallowed hard. "I've been thinking a lot about my actions, and about what you said in the diner several days ago. The truth is that it has been quite difficult for me to determine what I can do to fix things. You're a man of simple pleasures, Jake, which is part of why I so enjoy your company." She smiled at me. "A good cup of coffee, a hot shower, a friendly conversation... you find joy in little things, and all the imaginings in my head have been grand gestures that feel like they would be hollow in light of that insight." She shifted in place, nervously running a hoof through her mane. "So, I've done something practical that I hope you can appreciate, as an... opening gesture of my attempt to make things right."

I raised an eyebrow, watching as she stood up and walked to the sheet covering the unknown items, and with a small flourish she pulled the sheet away. Beneath lay a group of carefully folded garments. I blinked and stood up, approaching the clothes on the floor. There were a half-dozen shirts of different styles and a matching pants to go with them, along with two nice looking jackets. Among them, in the middle of the group, were a shirt, jacket, and a pair of heavy duty cargo pants that were immediately familiar. "Are these my old clothes? I thought they'd been ruined."

Rarity shot me a sly grin. "I asked Princess Celestia about them, and she agreed to let me take them. It wasn't easy to fix them, you'd done quite the number on the seams and fabric... Celestia told me that you'd been recovering from an addiction."

I nodded slowly, kneeling down and picking up the tan cargo pants. They'd been carefully mended with patches that were nearly seamless, tiny stitches that must have been a pain to do blending in neatly with the rough fabric. The seams that I'd torn during my moments of torturous withdrawal were like new, the stitching carefully copied from the rest of the garment. The grey t-shirt was in a similar state, along with my heavy tan jacket. It was a military-make, sporting multiple pockets and spots for weapon harnesses and other useful utilities. As I picked up the jacket, the item beneath it made me freeze in surprise. My bullet-proof vest was there as well! I set the jacket aside and lifted up the vest. It was a heavy military-grade vest, with extra pads and harness points, and sported the MultiCam camouflage pattern that was popular in the countries I'd often worked in. It was designed after the popular Interceptor body armor, a mainstay of many modern military forces, and sported a neck protector and shoulder pauldrons. Rarity had done her level best to clean it up, but it hadn't really been damaged very much besides the wear and tear. The plates were missing, but I knew that they were likely in the Canterlot Royal Guard armory. I ran a finger along a few spots on the front of the vest where I'd, once upon a time, patched damage it had incurred in the line of duty. Rarity had removed my shoddy excuse for stitching, and had redone the patches in a much more clean way.

Rarity watched me with rapt focus, noticing the way I held the vest carefully, the way my hands checked the newly stitched spots. I smiled at her, and she smiled back. "I'll admit, when I saw that ugly thing, I didn't think much of it, but the way you're treating it makes me think that it means quite a lot to you."

"This vest saved my life... many times. It's like a good luck charm. I honestly never thought I'd see it again," I said, only sparing her a brief glance before I sat back and set it down on the floor between us.

"I can see how! The fabric was almost impossible to work with, it was so strong. I'd imagine that it's very protective," Rarity said, frowning slightly at the vest as if it had personally insulted her.

I chuckled. "The fabric is only part of it. You noticed those inner pockets, right? Big, empty, thin pockets?"

"But of course. I was ever-so curious about them," Rarity said, leaning forward.

"They held plates of... well, basically metal, sort of. They would block attacks from high powered weapons," I explained, trying my best to explain in terms Rarity would understand.

"Oh! Like a crossbow?" she asked, scooting closer and running a hoof along the many patches on the vest. Her ears drooped slightly as she took note of the number of points of damage, and she looked up at me. "So... all of these spots were moments where you nearly died, but were just barely saved by this piece of clothing?" I nodded gravely, and she looked back down at the vest. "I take back what I said. This vest isn't ugly... it's wonderful."

I agreed with the sentiment, and I slowly set the vest down. Rarity still sat very close to me, looking at me with a hopeful expression, and she turned and pointed. "There's your suit jacket, by the way. Properly tailored to your measurements, and I did some improvements." I smiled, reaching over and picking up my jacket, and I stood up and started to put it on, but Rarity held up a hoof. "Darling, please! You should get into some cleaner clothes before you start putting on that jacket!" She gestured to my disheveled appearance and frowned. "I didn't want to say anything earlier, as it would be rather hypocritical of me, but your clothes are positively ghastly. Did you get run over by a rampaging yak?"

I squinted at the yak line, and then chuckled. "Well, remember how I mentioned that I got into a fight with Rainbow Dash?"

Rarity blinked, and then gasped, standing up. "Darling, I thought you were being metaphorical! You really came to blows?!"

"It's not a big deal, I promise. We worked things out, and we're both... well, we're on better terms," I said, making a placating gesture at her.

Rarity stepped closer, inspecting me for injuries, but couldn't spot any obvious ones. Her ears pinned back. "I ought to give that pegasus an earful! Honestly, she should know better."

"It was a mutual confrontation, I assure you," I said, chuckling and ignoring how it made my ribs ache. "Twilight's probably already going to read her the riot act, anyway, so you don't have to go after her on my account."

Rarity sighed angrily, her tail flicking in irritation, and she sat back down next to me. "Very well, but only because you seem to be fine."

"Thanks, Rarity," I said, relaxing a bit. "So... new clothes."

"And some restored old clothes, plus a follow-through on a promise to fix your jacket." She smiled at me.

I nodded. "Good. That's... very kind of you, honestly. I'm happy that you've been putting this whole situation to some good use... and I appreciate that you followed through on finishing my jacket." I smiled, "I thought you were going to keep using it as an excuse to see me."

Rarity smiled wryly. "Well, the thought did cross my mind, but in light of my actions," she paused, her smile faltering as she swallowed hard, before speaking again, "I didn't want to leave things unfinished between us... in case..." Her train of thought trailed away, and she looked down at her hooves.

"In case...?" I prompted.

"In case you didn't want anything to do with me anymore," she finished, her voice dropping to a quiet tone of worry.

"Oh," I said, looking down at my lap. This was it, then. A decision to be made. Rarity had even given me the opportunity for a clean getaway. Nothing to hold me back, nothing to worry about; Just a long road of recovering our friendship, or a quick end and a clean slate. I thought back to those miserable days, to the pain that still made my stomach churn when I remembered her lies. Were some new clothes and a promise kept enough to make me stay?

My thoughts drifted, and I was brought back to the moment by a shuddering breath. I looked at Rarity, and noticed she was trembling, biting her lip as she held back tears. I turned away from her, frowning, and I stood up. I could hear her gasp next to me as I moved away from her. "J-Jake?"

"I need a minute. I can't think with you upset next to me," I said, walking through the room and to the door.

"I'm sorry," Rarity breathed, and I stepped outside and closed the door behind me. As I stood out in the hallway, I closed my eyes and leaned against the opposite wall, digging my nails into my palms as I tried to sort myself out. All I knew was that Rarity being on the verge of emotional devastation was tearing me apart, and that made everything so much more difficult. Why couldn't she just be a bitch, like all the other women I'd had in my life? She wasn't, though. She was more than that, so much more, even for her flaws. Why did she have to be the one to betray my confidence? So many others had gotten near to me for the drugs or the money, sleeping with me to try and get a grab at my wallet, offering me their bodies to get a hit or a taste of some drug... I'd almost stopped believing that I could feel affection or...

"Fuck," I said quietly, realizing Rarity's position more keenly than I could have comprehended in that moment. She'd been afraid like I'd been. She'd been hurt like I'd been hurt. Maybe the circumstances were wildly different, but she had even told me... she'd had stallions come to her seeking to win her affections. They weren't interested in her money, but her power and prestige. Her position. It was almost the same, and the difference was that she'd protected herself with gentle lies. Well, gentle in comparison to the things I'd done to those that had tried to deceive me. I'd let them get close, and then left them high and dry, crying for a pill or a bag of something that they needed. I'd been cruel where Rarity had been cautious and calculated, but at the end of the day we'd both made mistakes that had damaged others... I'd been the victim, this time, though. I was the one that had been left wanting. I felt a strike of cold realization at what I'd subjected those people to, those desperate souls. The thought of the pain was suddenly numbing, leaving me shaking in a sudden fit of remorse.

It wasn't right, what she'd done, but who was I to claim to have done better? I'd done much, much worse. She'd been almost kind in her treatment of me, and I believed her when she said that it was a situation that had spiraled out of her control. A lie of omission that became bigger and bigger, until she'd been drug down by the weight of it all. She hadn't sought to damage me, but I'd been damaged anyway, but it had been an accident. I'd done far worse on purpose.

I swallowed. Was... was that the basis for a healthy relationship, though? That I'd done so much worse, that I should forgive anything and everything that was slightly less morally awful than what I'd subjected others to? I shook my head. It wasn't. I knew it, deep down. What, then? What was the solution? Was walking away better? I could start again, with somepony else. Did I want to give up her friendship after one mistake, as large as it had been? Was there no room in my heart for a second chance for somepony else, even after all the second chances I'd been given after coming to Equestria? After all that I'd been shown of forgiveness in the past day, alone? Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie... they had all offered me a second chance, even after I'd hurt their friend emotionally. Even Spike, who had been the direct victim of my lashing out, had given me a way to make things right.

I took a shaking breath, turning towards the door, and I walked back into Rarity's bedroom. Rarity had moved to her bed, and was lying across it on her chest, her head buried between her forelegs, and she looked up at me with a look of deep remorse, her lower lip trembling as she held back tears. I walked through the room and reached down and picked her up with a slight grunt, eliciting a gasp from the unicorn mare, and I held her close to my chest. It was tough, but I managed, because I wanted to feel her close. She buried her muzzle in my shoulder and let out a shaking sob. "I'm s-sorry, I'm sorry" she gasped between tears.

"I know. I believe you," I said, feeling a shiver. "I'm choosing to trust your words. Do you understand? I'm choosing to trust your words. Just promise me you won't do anything like this again."

Rarity nodded against me. "O-of course! I promise! But, Jake, you don't have to—" she started, but I cut her off.

"No. I do. I do, because I've been shown that second chances are things that everybody deserves. God knows I don't, but ponies keep giving them to me. I want... I want to be like that, Rarity. I want to be generous in ways that I've never been, before. Generous with my trust... with my friendship. I want to be better than I was, and I've decided that this is something you ponies have shown me that is good. You're not perfect, but I'd be a fool not to pick up your best traits." I sunk down to sit on the bed, Rarity cradled on my lap as she clung to me.

Rarity laughed, hiccuping, and leaned away from me, her cheeks wet with tears. "Darling, if you want to be generous, you've come to the right mare," she said, taking a shivering breath as she leaned her forehead against mine, being mindful of her horn as she did so. The closeness gave me pause, but I decided in that moment that I didn't mind.

"Oh? Why is that?" I asked, smiling at her.

"Because, dear Jake, my Element is generosity," she said simply, smiling back at me. "There. The secret I so dreaded would change everything is out, from my own lips."

"I don't feel any different," I said, but that was a lie.

I felt better.

8: Man Cannot Meet The Parents Alone

View Online

I returned to the Castle of Friendship that evening feeling tired, but far more at peace than I had been in a week. Sapphire and Dusky trotted alongside me, chatting quietly, and I was content to ignore them as I walked through the quiet streets and back to the castle. When we reached the front door, Sapphire called out softly. "Jake?"

"Hm?" I glanced up at her, pausing before opening the door.

"I'm going to head back to Canterlot and report in. Dusky is going to stay here for the night, and we're going to figure out whether you still are supposed to be under guard or not," she explained, smiling up at me.

"Oh, yeah. That sounds good," I said, nodding slowly. "You probably don't want to hang around so far from home, right? Considering I'm staying here to help Spike, it's probably a good idea to get things figured out with the Princesses and your commanders."

Dusky chimed in, "Princess Celestia has been trying to convince Princess Twilight to get a few guards of her own. I'm sure they're going to use the fact that you're staying here to send a few guards down on temporary assignment for the next few days... hopefully Twilight will like having some guards around the castle to help her, and they might end up being permanent stations."

I laughed. "Always working an angle."

"You know the Princesses. They are very good at taking advantage of fortuitous situations," Dusky said, nodding vigorously.

"They are at that. All right, Sapphire, I guess you're off the hook. Too bad, I was looking forward to a sleepover with you," I said, winking at the pegasus mare.

Sapphire snorted. "Sure you were. I'm just happy to get to go home and sleep in my own bunk. Dusky here is the real hero," she said, nudging her counterpart.

"I'm getting paid overtime. There's nothing heroic about wanting a little extra coin," Dusky replied, looking smug.

"You don't want us to walk you to the train station?" I asked Sapphire, earning a raised eyebrow from her. "What? I thought it was the gentlemanly thing to do."

Sapphire laughed, shaking her head, and started trotting away. She called over her shoulder, "See you boys later. And be careful, Jake. The last time Celestia sent one of her pupils down here, it became a permanent move."

"I'm not going anywhere," I called back, turning and facing Dusky. "Well, Dusky. Looks like it's just us guys."

"Just us stallions and a unicorn mare," Dusky observed, looking around my side to the front door, which was now slightly open. A light pink unicorn mare with a curled purple mane with streaks of cyan stood in the doorway, giving us a confused look. "Good evening. You must be Starlight Glimmer," Dusky said, giving the mare a deferential nod.

"Um, hello. I just heard ponies talking out here and wondered what was going on. I should have guessed that it was going to be our guest for the next few days," the mare, Starlight, said as she looked up at me with curiosity, her ears perking forward as she looked me over. "I thought you'd be taller," she said with a wry grin.

"A lot of ponies say that," I said, and I extended my fist. "I'm Jake, temporary assistant to Spike."

Starlight eyed my hand before reaching up with one hoof and giving my knuckles a gentle tap. "Pleased to meet you. I'm Starlight Glimmer, and I'm Princess Twilight's... friend." She shook her head, smiling to herself. "Excuse the hesitation, I'm used to introducing myself as her student, but I graduated from that phase of my life a few months ago."

I cocked my head, curious about her choice of words, but decided to let it drop for now. "This is Specialist Dusky Roads, my night guard. He's going to be with me until the morning, and by then we should have gotten things worked out with the Princesses, and I'll have a few rotating guards around."

"Oh? I thought Twilight said that you were going to leave your guards in Canterlot," Starlight said, motioning for Dusky and I to step inside, and she walked into the foyer of the castle.

Dusky cleared his throat. "Jake's situation is a special case. I'm sticking with him until I get new orders."

Starlight chuckled. "Oh, well, all right. It's just awfully convenient that your guards are going to be forced to stick around, and right after Princess Celestia tried to convince Twilight to get a few guards for the castle..." she said, trailing off and casting a knowing look our way.

I leaned over to Dusky and fake-whispered, "She's onto us."

Dusky kept his professional demeanor, even though his ears drooped a bit. "Perhaps."

Starlight giggled at the two of us. "Don't worry. I actually think it'd be a good idea, but Twilight is really adamant that the Castle of Friendship stay as approachable and friendly as possible, and she worries that a few armored guards might give ponies the wrong impression."

"I guess that's fair," I said, glancing at Dusky. "These guys are pretty intimidating. Y'know, for ponies," I added, nudging Dusky in the flank with my knee. Dusky shot me a glare of mock-indignation.

"Anyway, I don't want to keep you up. You look... like a bit of a mess, if I'm being honest. There's a shower in the guest room that Twilight told me you were staying in, you should take advantage of it," the little unicorn said with a wrinkle of her nose.

I glanced down at my messy shirt and dirty pants—reminders that I got into a fight with a pegasus earlier today—and shrugged. "Yeah, you're right. I'll need some fresh clothes... hopefully Sapphire brings some tomorrow."

"I'll show you where your room is, and then I think I'm going to turn in, too. Follow me!" Starlight said, trotting towards the inner halls of the castle. Dusky and I followed her, and I caught a glimpse of a few more large rooms and a kitchen before we arrived at a decorated door. "This is you. I'm the next door over, across the hall, so if you need anything, just knock," Starlight said with a grin and a little wave. "Have a good night!"

"Thanks, Starlight. It was nice meeting you," I said as I pushed open my door.

"Nice to meet you as well. Welcome to the club," Starlight said with a wink, as she headed down the hall towards her room.

I raised an eyebrow at Dusky. "The club?"

Dusky gave me a shrug in reply, and he moved through the door and into my room first. He tapped a manalight as he passed, illuminating the dark room in soft light. It was a nice room with a king-sized bed, a desk and chair, and a chest of drawers. A door on the side revealed a small bathroom with the promised shower. I let out a slow sigh and sat down on the bed, rubbing at my chest. My ribs still ached, and I glanced down at my knuckles, noting that one was starting to swell up. "God, what a day."

"Indeed," Dusky said quietly, as he peeked into the bathroom. "Would you mind letting me use the shower after you? I've been in armor all day, and a chance to clean up sounds excellent."

"Absolutely. You deserve it. I'm sorry for the shit I put you through today, Dusky," I said, rising to my feet with a grunt and heading for the bathroom.

"It is forgiven," Dusky replied, shrugging. "Just be more careful, please. Watching over you is complicated enough without having to worry about angry pegasus mares dive-bombing you."

I chuckled. "Yeah, no kidding. Thank you, though. I know it's your job to take care of me, but I still appreciate it," I said, turning in the doorway to give Dusky an earnest look.

"Of course," Dusky said with a nod. "You're welcome. Now, get in that shower before I shove you in there. I'm waiting my turn, remember?"

The next morning started early, and I was awoken by a soft touch to my cheek. I grimaced and turned over, before a more insistent brush across my nose made me wake up. Sapphire stood beside my bed, and had one wing outstretched. She was grinning as she tickled my cheek with an outstretched primary feather, and she graced me with a laugh as I squinted blearily at her. "Good morning. I brought you some stuff from your quarters in Canterlot. I figured you'd rather not have to wear the same pair of dirty clothes for two days." She gestured to a big duffel bag that had been placed at the foot of my bed.

I sat up in bed and rubbed at my eyes. "Thanks, Sapphire. You sleep okay?"

"Well enough. I was up early to grab your things and catch the train down to Ponyville. We've got some support as well; Celestia sent along two more guards to assist with securing the Castle of Friendship," Sapphire said, sitting down on the floor.

"Yeah? I'm sure Twilight is thrilled about that," I said, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and reaching for the bag. Sapphire watched with interest as I peeked inside. Two shirts, two pairs of pants, eight socks, and... zero extra pairs of underwear. Of course she'd forget about that. I sighed. "You forgot underwear."

Sapphire blinked. "Which ones are those, again?"

"It's fine, I'll just get some laundry done and... go commando in the meantime, I guess," I said, picking a clean, long-sleeved shirt and a pair of pants. I'd have to drop by Rarity's again later and pick up all the clothes she'd made for me. The thought of seeing her again sent a happy thrill through me. It was good to feel good about seeing her again. We'd still have some things to work out, but being on the right track was a far better place to be in than the awkward, angry feelings of before.

"Commando?" Sapphire asked, interrupting my train of thought as she cast me a mildly concerned look.

"Yeah. It's..." How does one explain the concept of underpants—or the lack thereof—to a pony that regularly walks around naked? "It's really not important. Thanks, though, you got everything else I need." I dug a little deeper and found my little shaving kit and some of my shampoo and deodorant from my bathroom at the palace. "Awesome, I needed these, too."

I stood up and shoo'd Sapphire out. She cast me a pouty face as she trotted out, her tail flicking with amusement. I shook my head and got freshened up and dressed, tucking my dirty clothes into a ball under my arm as I walked out of my room. I met Sapphire in the hall, and she gestured to me. "Follow me. Spike showed me where the laundry is, he said that you can toss your clothes into the hamper and you both will take care of it later. It's apparently part of your duties as Majordomo to the Princess of Friendship."

I blinked. "I guess he technically is Twilight's majordomo, isn't he?"

"He's been growing up doing basically that, only now that Twilight is royalty, it's a mostly official title."

"Cool," I said as we paused outside an open door. There was a mostly empty room with some washbasins set up, and a line for drying clothes with a heat emitting gem set into the middle to assist with the drying process. Most washing in Equestria was done by hoof or magic, I'd learned, as most of the clothes that were worn were typically made for nobility or upper class ponies. That meant complex clothing that needed special attention and care, as clothing was not as omnipresent as it was on Earth. I set my dirty clothes into a hamper, alongside a dressy looking gown. "I remember how long it took me to get used to you guys always walking around naked," I commented to Sapphire.

Sapphire giggled. "I remember how long it took me to get used to you always walking around wearing clothes."

"We humans don't have the luxury of easily hidden bits, I'm afraid," I said, as I turned and followed Sapphire down the hallway as she led me towards the front rooms, presumably to where Spike was waiting. "And we don't have tails to hide what we do have."

Sapphire looked over her shoulder. "You learned proper Equestrian manners, though. I almost never catch you eyeing mare's flanks anymore."

"Twilight trained me well," I said with a wink. "Also, I'm way better at being subtle about it," I added, sticking my tongue out at Sapphire.

Sapphire rolled her eyes. "Ugh. Don't be crass!" she said, laughing at my crude humor.

We arrived in the front hall, and Spike was indeed waiting for us. "Hey, Jake. I made breakfast for us. You ready to get to work?"

I gave him a nod. "Absolutely. And, good morning to you. When are you usually up?"

"Around now, but I got up extra early to make sure we had an easy start to the morning!" Spike gestured towards a larger door set more in the central portion of the castle, and lead me through. Inside was a massive, circular table with a glowing projected map of Equestria on it. At least, I assumed it was Equestria. Six large thrones and one smaller throne sat around the table. Sapphire audibly gasped. I whistled, eyes widening, and Spike cast me a grin. "Yeah, pretty cool, eh?"

"No joke. What is this?"

"It's a magical map of Equestria, and it shows us if we're ever needed to solve a friendship problem somewhere in the world. It's sorta an... early-warning system, I guess?" Spike explained, walking around to one edge of the large table and hopping up onto the small throne. He reached out and ran a hand through the projection a few times, and after a moment it winked out, leaving a large crystal surface. Hidden beneath the projection were two plates and a mug of glorious, steaming hot coffee. One plate was loaded with scrambled eggs and pancakes, and the other had pancakes that glittered slightly, and seemed to have gemstones sprinkled on top. "Here we go. Dig in!"

I sat down in one of the larger thrones, glancing up at the back of the seat. It was emblazoned with Rarity's cutie mark. I looked over towards Sapphire, who had assumed her typical post near the entrance to the door. "Have you eaten yet, Sapphire?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Jake," Sapphire replied.

I shrugged and turned to my plate, grabbing a provided fork and digging in. The eggs were buttery and delicious, and the pancakes were dense and hearty, with plenty of syrup. I reached out for the mug and took a long drink of my beloved coffee. It was strong, and bitter, and it made me feel like the day could only get better. "Thanks god for strong coffee," I mumbled to myself. As I ate, I watched with fascination as Spike crunched through his pancakes. "Is that rock candy on top of your pancakes?"

Spike glanced up, mid-bite. "Mmf?" He swallowed, and grinned. "Oh! Nope, those are real gemstones. They contain minerals that are important for a growing dragon. They keep my scales hard and my spikes shiny!" He plucked a single gem from atop one pancake and crunched into it with relish.

I shook my head. "The wonders never cease," I murmured to myself as I finished off breakfast.

After we'd cleared our plates, and I'd been introduced to the impressive castle kitchen, Spike led me to the library. Sapphire followed and posted herself outside the main door to the library. The library was still as impressive as the first time I'd seen it yesterday, albeit slightly messier. "So, this is where the magic happens, eh?"

"Well, Twilight casts magic pretty much everywhere. But this is where the research for the magic happens, and boy is it messy work. Ink stains, crumpled paper, unorganized books... it's a lot to do, and it's always the first job of the day!" Spike said, gesturing around to a few of the tables loaded with notes.

"We're up before Twilight, then. Does she usually work late, and then sleep in?" I asked as I approached one of the tables.

"Yeah. She really burns the midnight oil, and then crashes and sleeps until a bit before noon. She'd usually wake up earlier, but she's been up late the last few nights trying to finalize the plans and organization for the Festival of Friendship," Spike said.

"Ah. How's that going?" I asked, peering at the notes.

"Good. It's going to be a lot, but Twilight has what it takes. She's really nervous, and overworking herself, but she's got it all in place, and now it's just down to execution. Everypony is pitching in to help, too," Spike explained as he began picking up the discarded books from the table. "I'll work on getting these books reshelved. Do you want to start working on cleaning up the ink stains? I've got a rag and a bottle of ink remover tucked into that drawer on the desk."

I smirked and grabbed the rag and clear bottle of blue-ish liquid, and started scrubbing away the bits of dried ink from the table. It was mindless work, which was fine, because it gave me an opportunity to talk with Spike as I painstakingly scratched away at some of the tougher stains. "So, you do stuff like this every day?"

"Yeah. I always wanted to help Twilight when I was really little, and so she tried to include me in small ways. I know I can't use magic like she does, so I've always tried to find ways to make her magic easier or help her research, or anything else she needed. She only ever had one goal when we were growing up, and I've always tried to support her," Spike explained, his voice carrying across the room from the stacks.

"I knew you and Twilight grew up together, basically. She's older than you by a bit, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, by about six years. She hatched me as part of her magic exam to get into Princess Celestia's school, and she and Princess Celestia took care of me when I was very small... but Twilight and I were always inseparable. Twilight's whole family basically adopted me, and Twilight and I have been together ever since."

"Wow. And you've always just been Twilight's assistant?" I said, finishing cleaning one table and moving along to the next one.

"You say 'just' like it's a bad thing," Spike said, approaching me and gathering up another armload of books. "I really like it, though."

"Well, I don't mean that it's bad... but, do you have things you want to do? Things besides supporting Twilight?" I said, peering down at him with curiosity.

Spike stopped for a moment, considering my question. "I mean, yeah. I'm still growing up, and I have a lot of time ahead of me. Dragons live much longer than ponies, you know, so I figure I've got a lot of time to figure myself out and what I want out of life. In the meantime, though, I collect comic books, and I spend time with my friends, and I study and learn stuff with Twilight."

I nodded slowly, focusing once more on my task. The silence stretched as we worked in tandem, and within an hour we had everything cleaned up in the library. "All right, that's that. What's next?"

Before Spike could reply, Twilight walked into the library. She had a bad case of bed head, her mane rumpled and tail askew, and she held a cup of coffee in her telekinesis. She gave Spike and I a mumbled greeting, sat down at one of the tables, and took a long, slow sip of her coffee. I chuckled. "Not a morning pony, eh?" Twilight's eyes wandered from her coffee cup to my face, and she peered at me with a complete lack of comprehension. Her eyes widened, suddenly, and she disappeared with a pop of teleportation magic, leaving her cup of coffee behind. I smirked at Spike. "She totally forgot I was here."

Spike laughed, nodding. "Yeah. She's definitely not a morning pony, but I think Starlight and I are the only ones she doesn't mind being a total mess around."

Twilight re-appeared in a flash of light, blushing slightly. Her mane had been somewhat tamed, and her tail was straightened and in better order, and she chuckled nervously as she returned to her seat. "Good morning, Jake. Sorry, I'm not used to having visitors so early."

"It's fine. I usually need a cup of coffee to function most days." Usually from Joe's. And usually with Rarity. The thought that I didn't have to face another dull morning at Joe's without Rarity, and that we could potentially get back to our routine soon, was a warm one.

Twilight gave me an appreciative nod as she finished her coffee. "So, I see you boys got an early start. What's next on the agenda?"

"Well, I wanted to check in with Applejack and Pinkie Pie, next. Make sure that they've ordered all the supplies that they'll need to help cater the festival, see if there's anything else they wanted help with... and maybe," Spike cast me a glance, "drop by Rarity's. She's supposed to help with decorations for the festival and the stage, but I think she might be running behind."

I considered the list of things. "That seems like a lot. What do you want to tackle first?"

"I really want to make sure that Pinkie and Applejack have everything they need, because I think talking with Rarity is going to take up a lot of time..." Spike explained, glancing down at his feet with a nervous blush. "I'm really nervous about that, actually."

"Well, then we should probably go see her, first," I said, smirking at him.

"What?! Why?" Spike said, recoiling from me.

"It's like ripping a band-aid off. Just gotta grit your teeth and get the hurt over with, so you can finish healing," I replied, gesturing towards the doorway. "Come on, buster. You can't put it off forever, you know?"

Spike swallowed nervously. "Yeah... I know. I just don't want to get upset again, or make Rarity feel sad. She's got a lot to work on, and I'm worried she'll fall even further behind."

I sighed, shaking my head. "Well, you know what I think, but I'm not the one in charge here. We can go see Applejack and Pinkie Pie first and get that sorted out."

Twilight had watched this exchange quietly, but she chimed in now. "You know, I think Jake is right. You should go and speak to Rarity first. I know you'll feel much better with that situation resolved and all those feelings off your chest."

Spike frowned, thinking hard, and I gave him his space to make a decision, busying myself with stacking some fresh paper on the table near Twilight, who had just finished her coffee and was eyeing a scroll with a long to-do list on it. Just as Spike seemed to be about to make a decision, Starlight Glimmer trotted into the library. "Hey, everypony. You'll never guess who I just spotted, rushing around the market."

"Rarity?" Spike asked.

Starlight's eyes widened. "How'd you know?"

"We were just talking about her, and then you walked in and said that. I know how the universe works, it couldn't be coincidence," Spike said sagely.

"What's Rarity doing at the market?" I asked, curious.

"She's in a panic, to put it mildly. I guess she found out that her parents are coming to visit her, and she's been so busy 'wallowing' that she hasn't taken care of the boutique or anything for a few days, and now she's trying to get everything cleaned up and prepared at the last minute," Starlight said. "She didn't ask me for help, but I have a feeling that she really could use somepony right about now."

I glanced at Spike and raised an eyebrow at him, and he blushed. "W-well... I guess we could go see her, and offer to help her out."

"But, what about the preparations for the Festival of Friendship?" Twilight asked Spike. "Even if Rarity is having a minor crisis of some kind, we still need to make sure that everypony has what they need."

Spike glanced between Starlight and Twilight, and sighed. "We should get our job done, first," Spike said, frowning, "but it sounds like Rarity probably needs help, too." His eyes slowly settled on me, and he smiled as an idea struck him. "Actually, this is perfect! Jake, can you go and see Pinkie Pie and Applejack and make sure that they don't need any extra stuff for the catering for the Festival? I'll go ahead to Rarity's house. I'm a master at cleaning, and it also gives me the opportunity to talk with her, and since I have you with me, I can delegate and get everything done at the same time!"

I chuckled. "All right, you're the boss, Spike. You sure you'll be okay having a chat with her by yourself?"

Spike waved a claw in the air dismissively. "Pfft, yeah, of course! Can you handle taking down any orders that Pinkie Pie and Applejack need?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, no problem. I basically do that for a living, now that I work for the crown."

"Great! I'll head over there right now, and then you can meet me there after you're done," Spike said, and with that, he dashed towards the door. "Thanks, Jake!"

I watched him go and shook my head, laughing. "He's pretty eager, isn't he?"

Twilight giggled. "I think that he's still young enough that he doesn't get too caught up in overthinking things. I think he'd rather just go back to secretly worshiping Rarity."

Starlight rolled her eyes, but smiled. "I think he's just a good dragon. He's not willing to let one bad thing ruin a good friendship."

"Well, good. I'm glad that things can approach something similar to normal, anyway," I said. "I'd hate to think that what happened caused any permanent damage to their friendship."

Twilight sighed, producing a bunch of scrolls in a burst of magic. "While he's gone, I've got some more to get done with contacting a few neighboring townships, and seeing about getting more lowered rates for rooms in nearby hotels and stables. I've been told that there's so many ponies coming to the festival, most of the places to stay in Canterlot are full up."

"Sounds like a good problem to have," I said, grinning. "Your advertising, at least, has been a success."

"Seems like it. Starlight, would you help me out with these? I can cover these three towns, if you can get these two?" Twilight said, gesturing Starlight over and giving me a little wave. I knew a royal dismissal when I saw one, but I had a moment of inspiration.

"Hey, Twilight? If you need help getting word out to some of the nearby towns, why don't you ask Sapphire? She's stationed here, and she doesn't need to be guarding me all the time, so she could probably do something for you," I said, gesturing towards the door. Sapphire had heard her name mentioned, and she poked her head around the door frame, casting a curious look my way.

"Jake... are you volunteering me for something?" Sapphire asked, her eyes narrowing. Twilight, in the meantime, cast a thoughtful glance towards the pegasus guard.

"Yes, I am. I'll make it up to you," I said, grinning as I walked past her.

"Corporal Spirit, if you don't mind, I actually could use your help," I heard Twilight ask, and Sapphire shot me a surprised look before she straightened up and trotted into the library. I gave myself a mental high-five, having both ditched my guard detail and moved Twilight Sparkle one step closer to seeing how nice it was to have guards around—something that I'd absolutely take credit for the next time I spoke with Princess Celestia. In the meantime, however, there were ponies to see about food orders.

The bell above the front door into Sugar Cube Corner jingled merrily, announcing my arrival as I stepped inside the bakery. Pinkie Pie was on me in an instant, like watching a magnet attract metal. She practically clung to me like that was the case, at least. "Jakey! You're here!"

"Hey, Pinkie," I said, squirming a bit as she clung to my waist in an almost-too-tight hug. "Nice to see you, too."

Pinkie looked up at me, beaming from ear to fuzzy ear. "I heard that you and Rarity made up! I'm so glad!"

I squinted at her. "How could you possibly know that? Did Rarity tell you?"

"She dropped in for a post-despair, pre-panic breakfast treat. Red velvet cupcake, cream cheese frosting, with a little sprinkle of pink Yakyakistani salt on top. It's her secret favorite!" Pinkie explained.

"Not much of a secret if you just told me," I said, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Pfft, you don't count. You need to know these things so that you can surprise Rarity sometimes. Little gestures like that make a mare blush and feel all warm-fuzzy!" Pinkie said with a wink, reaching up to squish my cheeks. I batted her hooves away, making her giggle.

"All right, well, thanks for the tip. I'll keep that in mind," I said with a nod, patting her atop her fluffy mane. My fingers made contact with something inside her mane, and I blinked. "There's something in your—" Before I could finish, I had to wrench my hand back as a tiny green lizard leapt from inside Pinkie's mane and snapped at my fingers. "Holy shit!"

"Oh, Gummy!" Pinkie squealed happily, reaching up and snagging the small reptile, which I recognized on second glance as an alligator. "Jake, you haven't met Gummy yet!" She held up the alligator, which stared through me with unblinking eyes.

"You keep an alligator in your mane?" I said, taking a step back from her.

"Yeah, of course. Where else would I keep him?" Pinkie asked, staring at me blankly.

"In... a swamp? Where he can't hurt anybody?" I said slowly. Pinkie pondered my assertion for a moment, before snorting.

"You obviously don't know much about alligators!" Pinkie grinned at me, and tapped Gummy on the snout. His tiny mouth opened up, revealing a distinct lack of teeth. "Besides, there's nothing to worry about. He doesn't have any chompers to chomp with!" She looked down at the alligator fondly and set him on the floor. "Isn't that right, Gummy?" Gummy blinked a slow blink in reply, and then scuttled under a nearby chair.

I shook my head, exhaling slowly. "Right. Well, I'm here to check in and make sure you have everything you need to help cater the Festival of Friendship. How are you doing with that?"

Pinkie clapped her hooves together and squealed, "It's going great! I've been testing out all sorts of terrific treats to tantalize the festival attendees! I've got plans for a super gigantic cake, too, with buttercream frosting!" She grabbed me by the hand with both hooves, and she pulled me forward into the kitchen. It was a sort of disorienting moment, because we'd been at least twenty feet from the door to the kitchen, but we were suddenly and unmistakably inside it. I briefly wondered if all the stress I'd been feeling had been affecting me more than I'd realized, but Pinkie's continued stream of comments snapped me out of my musing. "We've got a dozen different kinds of cookies, six types of cupcakes, and four totally wild cakes that I haven't quite perfected yet!" Pinkie spun in place, gesturing to the varieties of baked goods she was preparing. "I was thinking something exciting and exotic, so I made a star apple and coconut cake, but Rainbow Dash and Rarity said they'd had enough coconut and star apple to last them a lifetime after their last vacation, so I think I need to come up with something different."

I blinked, doing my best to follow what Pinkie wanted, but my brain got stuck. "Vacation? Rarity never mentioned a vacation."

Pinkie frowned, tapping a hoof to her chin, and then grinned. "Oh, never mind that. It's easy to get confused sometimes. I think I read too many stories! I was reading one about ponies and changelings in space the other day. Crazy! But that's neither here, nor there, or even Mars! Regardless, there's not much time left, and I need to get one really crazy cake made as a special Festival of Friendship exclusive! Something one of a kind! So, since you're literally from a different planet, I was hoping you might have an idea."

I decided to ignore everything that didn't make sense, and focus on the request. "An idea for a cake, huh?"

"Yeah! Something totally new!" Pinkie said with a grin, leaning forward and staring at me with an expectant look, her ears quivering and her tail practically wagging. I closed my eyes and crossed my arms, thinking hard about unique flavors that I knew about from my world. After a minute, I had an idea.

"What about a fruit tart?" I asked. Pinkie looked less than impressed.

"What about a fruit tart? Fruit tarts aren't unique," Pinkie said, her ears going flat.

"Ah, but what about a fruit tart with a topping that nobody would ever expect?" I said, grinning a sly grin. Now I had Pinkie's attention. "Mango."

"Mango?" Pinkie asked, frowning.

"Mango... and chili powder," I declared, nodding sagely.

"Mango and chili powder?" Pinkie said, squinting at me.

"Yes. Mango and chili powder, and a little sweetened, condensed milk." I said with an air of finality. Pinkie's squint deepened. Her frown grew more frown-y. And then her eyes widened and her jaw dropped open and she gasped.

"Jake. You're a genius!" She shouted, zipping around the kitchen as she grabbed ingredients. I was startled to find a mango, chili powder, and condensed milk gathered together in a non-Hispanic kitchen, but I suppose that if Pinkie had been trying out unorthodox recipes, she might have gone with the kitchen-sink method of ingredient purchase. "Mango for a tart, acid, sweetness. And then condensed milk, but just a little, to cut the acid," Pinkie said, peeling and slicing a mango and drizzling a thin line of sweetened condensed milk atop the slices, "and then a good dusting of chili powder on top, to really make the fruit flavor pop, and bring a bit of complexity to the flavors! And with the condensed milk, it helps the chili powder stick to the fruit!" Pinkie stared at the sweet, spicy, colorful concoction, eyes wide with excitement at the impending taste of a new flavor combination.

I reached out and grabbed a slice, and held it up. "¡Salud!" Pinkie took a slice of her own and raised it high, and tapped hers to mine.

"¡Felicidades!" she replied, and tossed the slice into her mouth. I did the same, trying not to think too hard about how Pinkie Pie knew Spanish. Sweet, hot flavor flowed over my palate, just as Pinkie had described, but with a burst of nostalgia for my part of the tasting, and I let out a happy sigh as I chewed. Pinkie was obviously in some fit of ecstasy, her eyes rolling back in her head as she leaned against me for support. "Jake, it's sooooooo good."

"Tastes like home," I said wistfully, taking another slice.

"If this is what home tasted like, I don't think I'd ever leave my house," Pinkie said, giggling and grabbing another bit of mango and sprinkling extra chili powder on top before taking another bite. She let out a groan and fanned her face. "I'm gonna need a cold shower after this, I tell ya. This mare is gettin' hot!"

I glanced down at her, and she looked up at me, red in the face. "Are you...?"

Pinkie stuck out her tongue and winked at me. "Because it's spicy. Don't get any dirty ideas, mister. I'm on to you!" I laughed, shaking my head, and we sat and enjoyed the rest of the fruit together.

After we were finished, I washed my hands of the bits of mango pulp and chili still clinging to it, and pulled out a pen and paper. "So, now that you've got your Festival of Friendship exclusive fruit tart, is there anything extra you need Twilight to order for you?"

Pinkie nodded, "Yeah! I'm gonna need a lot more mangoes, plus a lot more sugar. About forty pounds of sugar should do it. I've got plenty of flour, though, and there's a local farmer that grows chili, and I've already ordered everything I'll need for the other deserts I've planned, so... that should do it!" She squinted and cocked her head to the side. "At least a full wagon-load of mangoes, please. I might eat a few while I'm working on the fruit tarts. Say... eighty pounds of mango?"

I chuckled, and wrote down the order. "Eighty pounds of mango, forty pounds of sugar. Got it. Anything else?"

"No, I think that'll cover pretty much everything," Pinkie said with a firm nod. "Thanks for your help, Jake! I've got a lot of work to do to perfect that tart recipe, so I'm going to get started right away!"

"Sure. I'm just glad I could help at all. I'm no chef," I said, gesturing to Pinkie Pie. "I'm not sure how you're gonna turn it into a tart, but I'm sure that you're the pony for the job."

Pinkie giggled, jumping up on her back hooves and planting a big, wet smooch on my cheek. "You're a real sweetheart!" She gave me a little shove with her head, sending me towards the door. "Now, shoo! I've got science to do!"

"Don't you mean baking?" I asked, nonplussed, as I reached one hand up and wiped some pony slobber off my cheek.

"Baking is science for hungry ponies!" Pinkie declared with an air of finality, and then she turned on the remains of the mango creation. "Now, as for you, my tasty friend..." She giggled, and her giggle grew into a laugh that slowly morphed into something sinister. Outside, where I was certain the skies were clear, there was a clap of thunder.

I decided I'd rather not see Pinkie go about her 'science', and I left, heading for Sweet Apple Acres.

I followed the main road out of Ponyville, heading in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres. I'd had to stop in at a shop to ask directions, which had been a rather awkward encounter that mostly involved the little red-maned salesmare attempting to sell me four or five different kinds of tea. Of course, I'd walk into a tea shop. Once I told her that I preferred coffee, she was much more willing to get me out of her shop as rapidly as possible, and gave me very precise directions.

Luckily, once I found my way out of Ponyville proper, I was easily able to find the orchards, and from there I followed along the path, passing Fluttershy's cottage on my way. I spotted Fluttershy outside, feeding her animals, and gave her a wave. She waved back and flew to fill some more bird feeders. I turned the corner into the orchards and glanced skyward. I didn't see any rainbow-colored contrails, and I let out a sigh of relief. I wasn't looking forward to seeing Rainbow Dash again, so soon after our confrontation. I carried on through the trees, following the road to the farmhouse and barns situated in the center of the farm. I could hear the tell-tale sound of applebucking, and I followed the sound around to the south side of the farmhouse and the orchards there. The sound quickly led me to Applejack, who was in the company of another pony; a huge, red stallion with an orange mane and a big green apple for a cutie mark. They were working in tandem, and seemed to be nearly done loading a large cart full of bushels of apples. "Hey, Applejack," I called as I approached, raising up one hand in greeting.

"Hey there, Jake. Fancy seein' you around. How's your gut?" Applejack asked, pausing in her work to give me a wave. I reached down and touched my ribs, noting their tenderness, and shrugged.

"I've had worse. Rainbow Dash doing okay?" I said, coming to a halt and watching as the red stallion hefted another bushel of apples onto the cart. He'd dropped a few, and I walked over and started picking them up and tossing them into the cart.

"Ah, she's fine. She was whinin' a bit, and you should'a seen Scootaloo when she heard what'd happened! You'd think she was the one that got in a fight with ya!" Applejack rolled her eyes and ambled up to one of the last trees in the row, aligning her hindquarters with the sturdy trunk.

"Scootaloo?" I repeated.

"Ah, she's one of Apple Bloom's friends. Apple Bloom is my little sister! And she and Rarity's sister, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo—who's sorta like Rainbow Dash's little sister, but not—are thick as thieves."

I vaguely recalled hearing stories from Rarity. "Ah. Are these the fabled Crusaders?"

"That's right. They're the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and they help ponies find their cutie mark, or learn better how their talent works with their life. It's sorta complicated... but, at any rate, when Scootaloo found out you and Rainbow had gotten in a tussle, she was right cross with ya."

"Yeah, I figured I didn't win any favors with that," I said, sighing. "Well, at least we understand one-another, now." I finished picking up the fallen apples and turned to the big stallion, who was eyeing me with interest. "I'm Jake, by the way," I said, offering up a fist.

The stallion gave me a nod and his massive hoof gave my knuckles a gentle tap. "Big Mac."

"Nice to meet you."

"Eeyup," he said, reaching down and hefting another bushel of apples up into the wagon. I glanced at Applejack, who chuckled brightly.

"Big Macintosh is my older brother. Don't mind him, he's not much of a talker. He don't mean nothin' by it, though, just likes to save his words for when it really matters," she explained, bucking one of the last trees in the row and sending a cascade of apples down into waiting baskets. I helped collect up the stray apples as she moved on, and Big Mac continued to haul the baskets. "So, I figure this ain't a social call, you bein' out here. What can I do for ya?"

"I'm actually checking in to see if you need any supplies for the Festival of Friendship. I just checked in with Pinkie Pie, and she had a few things she needed, and so I wanted to make sure you had enough to finish all the cooking you're planning on doing," I asked, as we fell into a rhythm of work.

Applejack hit another tree with a grunt. "Once we're finished clearin' this last row, we should have enough apples for all the vittles we're gonna make. Let's get that wagon loaded up, and then we can haul it to the barn and I can double check, but we should be just fine." I nodded, and we worked for several minutes finishing bucking the row of trees and loading the wagon, while I did the simple task of grabbing fallen apples and getting them put into the baskets. While relatively easy, I figured that it was probably more of a chore for Applejack or Big Mac to grab an apple with their hooves than it was for me and my useful hands.

Within a half-hour, we were at one of the large barns. Applejack slid open one of the huge doors, and Big Mac hauled the cart inside, and I followed. I let out a low whistle as I looked around the inside of the barn. There were dozens upon dozens of bushels of apples stored away, all protected in the cool, dry barn. Applejack grinned. "Lots of ponies to feed at the Festival. We're gonna use every one of these. The best part is, we've already been paid for our work, so we've just gotta deliver the pies and fritters, and everything else from here on out is pure profit."

Big Mac and I worked on unloading the cart, while Applejack trotted over to another section of the barn where big bags of flour and sugar had been neatly stacked. She started counting as we completed the job, setting down the last bushel of apples. Big Mac gave me a thankful nod, and I smiled at him before looking to Applejack. "So, what's the word?"

"Tarnation!" Applejack said, scuffing a hoof on the floor of the barn. "I'm missin' some supplies. I counted the other day, and I know we had forty bags of flour and twenty bags of brown sugar, but now, we've got thirty eight and nineteen! Plus, there's at least a tub or two of butter missing, and we've been saving those up real careful-like so we'd have enough to make the apple pies and apple brown betties!" Applejack sighed. "I'm gonna count 'em one more time. Big Mac, would you check the other storage, make sure ain't nothin' else run off?"

"Eeyup," Big Mac said, trotting towards another outbuilding. I waited patiently while Applejack did a re-count, and soon Big Mac was back again. "One of the big bags of bakin' soda is missin' from the other storage, Ay-Jay."

Applejack frowned. "Somethin's odd. Sounds like we got a case of bakin' bandits on our hooves..." Applejack began to look around the barn, watching the floor carefully.

"What are you looking for?" I asked.

"Hoofprints. I got a feelin' that I know who our culprits are." Applejack stalked along the floor, nose to the ground. I walked to the doors and checked there, first, and spotted a few sets of smaller hoofprints in the dirt, right outside the door.

"Here's some. Smaller hooves," I said, pointing them out. Applejack rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Yep. It's the Crusaders. I'll bet they've gotten up to some nonsense out at their clubhouse. Come on, then, let's go see what they're up to. Maybe they haven't used the bakin' supplies yet." Applejack said, heading off into the orchards. I followed behind her, with Big Mac taking up the rear. We walked through the trees, taking a meandering route that followed a well-worn, if indirect, path that took us onto the edge of the property. I spotted a large treehouse with a carefully built ramp that led to the entrance. I was boggled by the ramp until I realized how much sense it made. After all, horses and ladders did not mix.

The clubhouse was a well-constructed affair that was obviously maintained diligently, with a fresh coat of paint on the outside and obvious signs of loving repairs made to the building. As we arrived at the base of the ramp, I could hear chattering voices inside. Applejack set a hoof on the ramp and gave it a stomp that silenced the voices. "Apple Bloom!"

A yellow filly with a bright red mane done up with a pink bow peeked out of the nearest window. She gave a nervous smile. "Oh, hey, Applejack. What brings you out here?"

"I'm lookin' for some missin' baking supplies. You don't happen to have seen a few bags of flour, sugar, and baking soda run off this way, have ya?" Applejack said, giving her sister a deadpan look.

"Oh, uh, yeah. But I have a good explanation!" Apple Bloom said, trotting away from the window and re-appearing at the front door of the clubhouse. She was joined by a unicorn filly that I recognized immediately as Sweetie Belle, as well as a orange pegasus filly with a short-cropped violet mane. If I had any doubts, the instant she saw me, the little pegasus shot me a death glare, confirming her to be Scootaloo.

"We're making Rainbow Dash a get-well cake!" Scootaloo declared. "After some jerk tried to kill her, we figured she'd appreciate something to help her feel better!"

Sweetie Belle smiled awkwardly and gave me a shy wave. "Hi, Jake."

"Hi, Sweetie Belle," I said, waving back. Applejack looked like she was about to speak up, but I held up a hand. This was bound to be interesting.

"Are you... waving hello? At him?" Scootaloo gasped at her.

"Well, yeah. He's dating my sister," Sweetie Belle said, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.

"He punched Rainbow Dash!" Scootaloo protested, gesturing at me with an exasperated look.

"I know! But maybe... he had a good reason?" Sweetie Belle said, frowning uncertainly at me. "What if she had a huge bug on her face, and he was trying to help get it off?"

"Or... maybe it was a misunderstandin'?" Apple Bloom said, shrugging.

"Rainbow Dash definitely didn't mention a bug. She said she fought him! Because he was messing with Spike! Because he's a jerk!" Scootaloo said, her voice getting a little louder at the end as she turned and shot me another glare. "You shoulda seen her, Sweetie! She had a black eye! And look at him, he's totally fine! He obviously hit her with a cheap shot!"

"Hey, now," I said, deciding to speak up. "Rainbow Dash and I got into a fight, and it was for a good reason. And she gave as good as she got, for your information," I said, lifting up my shirt to reveal the ugly bruises on my chest.

"Whoa!" Apple Bloom said, her eyes going wide.

"Ow," Sweetie Belle said, wincing. Scootaloo frowned, staring at the bruises for a long moment, before letting out a huff and looking away.

"Just so you know, there's no bad blood between Rainbow Dash and I. I think we both understand each other. I don't think it'd work if I was anybody else, or she was anypony else, but we got into a bad fight and came out... friends. Sort of." I pursed my lips, considering my stance towards Rainbow Dash. "Well, at the very least, we aren't angry at each other anymore, and I think we might be friends, eventually."

Scootaloo looked a little less certain. Applejack spoke up. "I saw what happened, and as far as I understand, things between Jake and Rainbow Dash are settled. Now, would y'all mind apologizin' for takin' the baking supplies without askin' anypony?"

"Sorry, Applejack," the three fillies chorused.

"We just wanted to do something nice for Rainbow Dash," Scootaloo said. "And we had extra stuff, so we made two cakes, so there isn't any left."

"Yeah, I made a cake for Jake, too," Sweetie Belle declared.

"Wait, you made that second cake for him?" Scootaloo said, her eyes wide.

"Well, yeah. He helped my sister, so I thought it'd be nice," Sweetie Belle said. Scootaloo puffed out her cheeks, glaring at Sweetie Belle, and then let out an exasperated sigh.

"I've been undermined from the very start," Scootaloo said, hanging her head. "Well, I guess if you said he's okay with Rainbow Dash, Applejack, I'll believe you." Scootaloo frowned at me. "You still shouldn't have hit Rainbow Dash."

"Sure thing, kid," I said, shaking my head. I wasn't about to get into an argument with a filly. Scootaloo scowled at me.

"Don't call me kid. You're patronizing me," Scootaloo said.

I sighed. "Sorry. I'll stop."

Big Mac cleared his throat, suddenly. "Y'said you're bakin'?"

Apple Bloom smiled. "Yeah! Sweetie Belle borrowed a hot plate, and I borrowed two of our cast-iron oven pans. It's sorta like a... cake in a pan. But not a pancake!"

"And y' used a lot of bakin' soda?" Big Mac asked.

"Well, yeah," Apple Bloom said, frowning.

"Where are you going with this, Big Mac?" Scootaloo asked.

Big Mac just gestured to the window. There were bubbles boiling out of the open window. The fillies all turned, eyes wide, and rushed into the club house. Applejack shook her head and trotted up the ramp to the door. I followed her, watching with bemusement. "What did you fillies do?" Applejack asked.

"I don't understand! We followed the recipe!" Sweetie Belle cried from inside.

"This ain't right! There's bubbles everywhere!" I heard Apple Bloom shout.

"Vinegar," I called. "You used vinegar. How'd you manage to delay the reaction?"

"I thought it was too bubbly, so I used some magic to make it stop, but I didn't think it was a problem!" Sweetie Belle said, coughing and sputtering.

"How'd we get vinegar into the mix instead of water?" Scootaloo asked, desperately fanning her wings at the approaching mass of suds.

"I grabbed a jug from my sister's pantry! I thought it was water!" Sweetie Belle said, retreating from the bubbly mess as it surged to the front door of the club house.

"You fillies need to get out of there. Those bubbles are all carbon dioxide, you might get light headed if you stay in there, or even pass out," I called, watching with concern. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo rushed out at my warning, and they stood on the ramp, frowning. Sweetie Belle sat down and covered her face, blushing furiously.

"I'm sorry, girls. I feel so dumb."

"It's okay, Sweetie Belle," Apple Bloom said, patting her friend on the back.

"Yeah. I mean... the clubhouse floor really needed to get mopped, anyway, so this is a good excuse," Scootaloo said, sighing.

I shook my head, chuckling. "Yeah, well, wait and let it air out before you go in. All that carbon dioxide needs to air out."

Applejack shook her head. "Well, that's a fine mess you've made. I'll go find a mop."

"Ah'll go," Big Mac said, and ambled off towards the farmhouse, leaving Applejack and I to keep an eye on the Crusaders. The three fillies sat, dejected, watching as bubbles surged out of their clubhouse. I noticed that the three girls had extremely similar cutie marks, sporting a similar shield motif and colors, but with a unique central symbol for each of them. I'd seen a lot of cutie marks, but never ones so similar.

Apple Bloom noticed my interest, and glanced down at her flank, before smiling at me. "Pretty neat, huh?"

I chuckled. "Yeah. I've never seen cutie marks like those."

"We got 'em all at the same time. It means we're destined to be friends forever!" Sweetie Belle declared proudly.

"We always worked together to find our special talents, and now we help everyone figure out their place in the world," Scootaloo said.

"Everyone, huh?" I said. "What if I needed help?"

Scootaloo shot me a look. "Not you."

"Aw, why not?" Sweetie said, looking at Scootaloo pleadingly.

"Wait, do ya need help with somethin', Jake?" Apple Bloom asked.

I shrugged. "Maybe. But I guess if I don't have all three of the Cutie Mark Crusaders on board..."

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle both turned to look at Scootaloo. She frowned, glancing between the two of them. "Ugh. Fine. We'll pencil you in for a consultation sometime."

I chuckled as I said, "Great, sounds good. Maybe after the Festival of Friendship?"

"Sounds good to us!" replied Apple Bloom.

"Speakin' of the festival, I'm gonna need a few extra bags of flour and sugar, plus some more butter. Five bags of each should cover it, just to be on the safe side, and an extra three tubs of butter. I think we've still got plenty of everythin' else," Applejack said, reminding me of my entire reason for coming here.

"Ah, right," I said as I pulled out the pen and paper and jotted down a note for the order. "That's it?"

"Yeah, that'll do," Applejack said with a nod. "Y'know, you don't have t' hang around and supervise the clean-up of this here mess. If you've got other things t' do, now might be a good time to skedaddle."

"You're sure?" I asked.

"Yeah. You've done plenty, anyway, helpin' unload the cart and pickin' up apples and whatnot," Applejack said, tipping her hat to me. "Much obliged."

"Sure, of course," I said, standing up. "I guess I should check in at Rarity's boutique. Spike's over there helping her clean up."

Sweetie giggled and asked in a sing-song voice, "Ooh, you're gonna go hang out with my sister?"

"Yeah. Apparently somepony told her parents that she was having a rough time, and now she's scrambling to clean up before they come to visit," I said, smirking at Sweetie Belle, who blushed and looked away.

Applejack chuckled, "Well, sounds like a grand 'ol time. Good luck with that."

I shrugged as I stood up, replying, "I'm sure it'll be fine. Nice to meet you, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom. I'll see you later, Sweetie Belle."

"Don't forget, we've got to consult with you after the festival!" Apple Bloom said. Scootaloo just grumbled under her breath and stared at the bubbles.

"Sure thing."

The walk over to the boutique from Sweet Apple Acres was a quick one, and I enjoyed the nice day and fresh air. Not that Canterlot was like any city on Earth—with air so polluted that you could taste it—but it was certainly a step removed from Ponyville's small town scents of pasture and farmland. There was a charm to this place that was wholly its own, and I liked it. I preferred Canterlot, but I could understand why Rarity would choose to make this place her home. After all, if there was anywhere to truly get away from Canterlot or Manehattan where she had her two largest boutiques, it was probably here. This town was like some of the places I'd passed through, going to other jobs in big population centers. Little places where I could stop and sleep and feel, for a moment, like I didn't need a gun beneath my pillow. It was the feeling of a place whose problems came from outside, and the people that brought those problems were people like me.

Well, like I had been.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes, and returned my focus to my walk, watching as two ponies moved anxiously from one side of the road to the other, eyeing me warily. I cast them a wan smile and kept walking, and arrived in front of Rarity's boutique. I stopped outside and listened for a moment, and noted that there was no yelling, dramatic weeping, or panicked sounds of frantic cleaning. I shrugged and knocked. "Just a moment!" I heard Rarity from inside, and I tucked my hands in my pockets and impassively watched through the semi-translucent window in the front door as Rarity darted around for a moment before arriving at the entrance to the boutique. She opened the door with a nervous smile that melted into a much more genuine one as she saw me. "Jake!"

"Hey, Rarity," I said, smiling in return.

"Darling, what are you doing here? Spike told me that you were taking orders from Applejack and Pinkie Pie for the Festival!" Rarity asked, gesturing for me to come inside and shutting the door behind me as I did so.

"Spike told me to meet him here when I was done, and so here I am," I replied, looking around the boutique. It was a far cry from the disastrous state of the other evening, having been practically transformed. I whistled. "Wow, you and Spike have been busy. The place looks great."

"Yes, Spike is really quite the expert at cleaning up. He's been helping Twilight for years, not to mention me as well, so he's gotten very adept at helping us mares recover our living spaces from flights of fancy or, ah, mental breakdowns, as t'were," Rarity said, blushing slightly and tapping her front hooves together in a nervous gesture.

"Yeah, I got that impression today while we were working on cleaning up after Twilight. She really knows how to tear a library apart, let me tell you, but after Spike was done with the place, it was immaculate."

Rarity nodded, giggling. "Indeed. Speaking of Spike, he already left, I'm afraid, though I was hoping that you would stay for a bit, darling."

I glanced around, frowning slightly. "I'm not sure, I think I'm supposed to stay with Spike."

"Spike already gave me permission to borrow you for a bit, if you're willing," Rarity said, batting her eyelashes at me.

I chuckled. "You don't need to turn on the charm for me, Rarity. You've already got my attention," I said, smirking and reaching out to poke her on the nose, but she shied away from my reaching finger. "Sure, I'll stick around. What do you need?"

Rarity inhaled slowly, her ears falling back nervously. "Well... it's rather complicated. You see, my parents are coming to visit, because my traitorous younger sibling tattled on me, as though we were in grade school. They heard I was having relationship trouble, you see? But, seeing as that is behind us, I'd rather you and I meet them... together."

I stared at her for a moment, her intent slowly dawning on me. "Oh my god, you want me to meet your parents," I said, as a feeling like ice being poured down my back crept over me. "That's... that a big step."

"I promise you, it's not as big a step as you seem to be thinking," Rarity said quickly, reaching out to pat me on the knee. "We're just going to say hello, maybe have some tea, and tell them that we are doing fine, and that I've owned up to my failings and we've moved past it," Rarity said, obviously trying to sound confident despite the way her tail tightened up and her ears drooped with anxiety. "We... we are past that, aren't we? I don't wish to presume, Jake."

I paused, and exhaled slowly. "Yeah. We're past that and moving forward... I just didn't think that we were moving this far forward," I replied, kneeling down and putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. She took a step closer, taking the opportunity to rest a hoof against my chest and look into my eyes.

"Thank you, darling. I'm sorry to spring this on you, but I'm afraid that my parents may have been given the wrong impression about our situation, and so I want to reassure them that things are fine... or mostly fine, all things considered. I'm still dreadfully behind on preparations for the Festival of Friendship decorations, but it's not the first time I've sacrificed a few nights of sleep for the sake of a big event," Rarity said earnestly, smiling at me.

God, that smile. I couldn't help but reach up to one cheek, touching her gently, and Rarity blushed and her smile widened a bit. "Yeah... okay. I can do that for you. Meet the parents, help them understand that things are mostly fine, and...?"

"And then get them out of here as rapidly as possible," Rarity said firmly. "I don't wish to give you the wrong impression of my relationship with my parents, because they're lovely ponies, but at the moment they're inserting themselves into my life in ways I'd rather they didn't. I don't need relationship help from two ponies who met in school and never dated anypony else except each other. They don't really understand what it's like."

I smirked, patting her cheek. "You might be surprised. You know, I wish I could ask my parents for help, sometimes. Might have made my life a little easier, having some wisdom to help guide me along."

Rarity snorted. "Perhaps, but their wisdom is far less useful and more... colloquial. My parents are probably not the ponies you'd expect."

I laughed. "Really? I'd just assumed that they're like you." That earned me a glare and another snort. "That far off the mark, huh?"

There was a knock at the door behind me, and Rarity's eyes widened in panic. "I suppose you're about to find out, darling. That must be them." She took a step back from me and glanced down at herself, running one hoof towards her mane. "Do I look alright?"

"You look great," I said, standing up and turning towards the door.

"No, no, sit down on the couch over there. We don't need your first impression with my parents to be of you towering over them by a solid head and shoulders," Rarity said quickly, as she approached the door. I shrugged and walked over to one of the couches that had been set out for customers in the main floor of the boutique and sat down. I subtly checked my posture. This was less of a relaxed meeting, and more of a day at court. I needed to be at my best, and I'd learned how to play this game from a pony that had been doing it for a thousand years. Shoulders back, eyes ahead. Relaxed gaze, but attentive. Slight smile, but not so much as to appear cocky. Deep breath, and...

Rarity opened the front door, revealing two ponies. The stallion had a white coat and a chocolate-brown mane and an impressive mustache. The mare had a light pink coat and a familiar looking royal purple mane, done up in a beehive style. They both grinned and reached for Rarity simultaneously, pulling her into a close hug. "There's daddy's girl!" said the stallion, laughing amicably.

"My sweet little jewel!" said the mare, cooing happily as she nuzzled her daughter, and I mentally filed that one away for later use.

"Mother, father, hello!" Rarity said, laughing as her cheeks turned pink. "I'm sorry that you came all the way out here to visit! I hope it wasn't too much trouble!"

"Oh, no problem, Rarity. It's always nice to come and visit, and when Sweetie told us that you were having a rough time, we decided that it was high time we checked on you!" her father said, stepping around Rarity and stopping inside the door, glancing down at the clean carpet, and then quickly retreating to wipe his hooves on the mat. Rarity cast him an approving nod, and stepped inside, her mother right behind her.

"You just sit down on the couch, dearie, and I'll make us some tea, and you can tell us all about—" the mare suddenly stopped short, staring at me. "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't know you were seeing a... customer?" she said, glancing at Rarity.

I smiled at her as Rarity's dad walked up beside his wife and gave me a confused once-over. Rarity let out a little sigh and said, "No, mother. He's not a customer. This is Jake." Rarity stepped away from her parents and stood between us, casting me a quick, encouraging smile. "Jake, this is my father, Hondo Flanks, and my mother, Cookie Crumbles."

I smiled at them and stood up. "It's nice to meet you both," I said, keeping my voice even and trying not to betray any of the slight panic fluttering in my gut.

"Oh! Ah," Cookie said, taking a step closer to Hondo as she looked up at me, her smile becoming more uncertain, "I-it's nice to meet you."

Hondo took a brave step forward and extended a hoof, which I met with a bump of my knuckles. He gave a little extra 'oomph' behind the hoof-bump, obviously trying to convey his feelings on my presence in his daughter's house. My hand stung a bit with the contact, but I kept my gaze even and my expression normal. No need to get worked up over a bit of masculine aggression. I understood it, even if it was something that I'd worked hard on tamping down in myself. Machismo had its place, but this wasn't it. Hondo smirked at my lack of response. Was that approval? "Good to finally meet you, Jake. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but our little girl always had... different tastes and sensibilities than us," he said, somewhat diplomatically. I got his meaning, though.

"Yeah, Rarity's good taste extends beyond her fashion, I suppose," I said with a wink. Hondo chuckled, and Cookie blushed a bit and scooted past Rarity to extend a hoof to me as well. I took it with both hands and gave a far more gentle squeeze. "And it's nice to meet you both, too."

Rarity smiled happily at us. "Excellent. Now that you're all acquainted, perhaps some tea?"

"Tea sounds lovely," Cookie said, turning to her daughter. "Would you like some help in the kitchen?"

"Certainly," Rarity said, casting me a quick look of warning, though I couldn't fathom why. "Any preference?" she asked.

"Whatever is on hoof, honey. You don't have to go out of your way. After all, we're the ones imposing," Cookie replied, smiling and trotting towards the kitchen.

"You know my preference," I said to Rarity, which got a laugh out of her.

"Indeed! Coffee, black as a moonless night and strong as a hoof to the face," Rarity said, shaking her head. Hondo cast me a surprised look and laughed, and Cookie giggled. "I'm afraid that I don't have any on hoof at the moment. Will a stronger tea do?"

I nodded. "Sure, Rarity. I'll manage."

"Very good. You two colts play nice, we'll be right back," Rarity said, and she followed her mother out of the room. I suddenly realized that the tea was a trap, as I faced Hondo alone, no doubt for an awkward conversation.

God, I hate tea.

"So," Hondo said, stepping over to a nearby chair and plopping down onto it, before casting me an appraising look. "You're the infamous Jake. I've heard a lot about you."

"Only good things, I hope," I said with a wry grin.

"Mostly troubling, actually," Hondo said, returning my grin with one of his own. Oh, he didn't waste any time. "Something about a fight with Rarity. And a fight with one of her friends. And a fight with a hydra?"

I cleared my throat. "All true," I said, "though calling what happened with the hydra a fight is a gross over exaggeration. It was more of a retreat. Or a rout," I clarified, chuckling. "But, yeah. Rarity and I had a fight, but we've worked things out."

"Have you?" Hondo said, one eyebrow raising up.

"Yes. We spent a week sorting things out, and then I came down here to make amends for my part in things, and we made up." I was simplifying, of course, but I didn't want to go into the fine details with Hondo. He didn't need particulars.

"Interesting. So, what about that fight with Rainbow Dash?" he asked. I was surprised he even knew about it, and it must have shown on my face, because he spoke up immediately after seeing my reaction. "Yeah, I heard about it. Sweetie's little friend, Scootaloo, was pretty upset."

"Also true, but it's really a private matter. I think we came to a more clear understanding of one-another," I said evenly.

"I'll admit, I'm not a fan of a stallion that can hit a mare," Hondo said, a bit of ice creeping into his tone. I winced internally, knowing that there was no argument that I could make at the moment to dissuade him from his opinion.

"Rainbow Dash is a tough mare, and she came at me looking for a fight, and I obliged her. We shook hands and parted on even terms, if it matters at all. I'm not proud of it," I said, figuring that the best course of action was to keep things direct and to the point.

"Nothing to be proud of, son," Hondo replied. "And I figure you're a smart enough fella to know that it doesn't matter to me if you parted as best friends. Stallions that lay hooves on mares are not the type of stallion that I want dating my daughter." He cast me a long look, daring me to retort. I decided to save my breath. "So, anything to say for yourself?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I think you've already made up your mind about me. All I can do is work to prove you wrong."

Hondo gave a slow nod. "I'll hold you to that." I let out a slow breath, staring at Hondo, and he watched me impassively. I could hear the clink of tea cups being set out, and the rattle of one of Rarity's serving trays.

"So. What about you?" I asked, deciding that sitting in silence was far worse than trying to make awkward conversation. Hondo cocked his head, curious. "What do you do? I see your hoofball cutie mark. I'll be totally honest, you're pretty much the opposite of what I expected from Rarity's dad."

Hondo chuckled at that. "Yeah, well, they say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but I think Rarity found a far branch to drop from. I used to play hoofball professionally, and now I do statistical work for various teams."

I smiled. "That's pretty interesting. I'm good with math and stats, actually." We were quiet again, but I'd left the ball in Hondo's court.

"I don't know anything about what you do for a living," Hondo said, keeping the conversation going.

"It's complicated. I mostly work for the diarchy, as a court record keeper. Presently in the employ of Princess Luna," I said, leaving out the bit about my previous line of work. No need to make things harder on myself. I already had an uphill battle ahead to get this stallion to a neutral stance with me.

"You work with Princess Luna?" Hondo said, surprised.

"Yes, though I'm presently on loan to Princess Twilight. Sort of. I'm actually working for Spike, her majordomo, helping him get things ready for the Festival of Friendship."

Hondo let out a hum. "That's interesting. Princess Twilight is a pretty good judge of character. I'm surprised she's letting you work for her after everything that happened." And there we were, back to that, again.

"So... favorite hoofball team?" I asked lamely.

"Do you even know any teams?" Hondo countered, frowning slightly.

"Not in the slightest," I replied without hesitation. Hondo laughed at that response.

"Well, boy, at least you're honest," He said, shaking his head.

"Not particularly, but I'm feeling rather candid at the moment," I said, letting out a sigh. That got another laugh out of Hondo, just as Rarity and Cookie returned bearing a tea tray with four steaming cups of tea and a bowl of sugar and a small carafe of creamer. Rarity looked fine, but I could sense an undercurrent of tension. I cast her a quick, questioning look, and she returned it with a subtle eye roll towards her mother. I nodded in understanding.

"Well, look at you two!" Rarity said airily, setting down the tea tray and levitating everyone's beverages into close proximity. I carefully took my cup and saucer, while Hondo and Cookie grabbed both of theirs in their own magic fields. "I hope we weren't too long."

"Not a problem," I said, blowing on my tea.

Cookie sat down next to me on the sofa, which surprised me, while Rarity pulled an oversize cushion over and lay down on it, setting her saucer down on the carpet. Rarity's mother gave me an appraising look, eyes sharp. "So, you and my husband had a good chat?"

"Yes, ma'am," I replied, taking a sip of my tea. It had a little milk in it, but was otherwise a strong brew. Almost passable, for tea.

"I hope you don't mind, but it's my turn now," Cookie said quickly. I had a feeling that her tea was going to remain untouched.

"I don't think my minding would stop you, ma'am."

"You're right, it wouldn't," Cookie said, nodding with a firm air. "I just wanted to say that you've got a lot of ponies watching you, and we've got a lot of expectations of you."

"That's been true since the day I arrived here," I said, leaning back in my seat.

"That may be the case, but you've also got us, now, and you've got a lot of work to do if you're hoping for our approval."

"Fair enough." There wasn't anything to say, and no rebuttal was necessary. They didn't like me, and they probably had legitimate reasons not to—at least in their opinion. Arguing wasn't going to get anywhere... and besides, I sort of found their distrust of me and concern for Rarity refreshing, in an odd way. They obviously cared, at least. Cookie gave another nod, and took a sip of her tea. Rarity was watching her with a frown.

"Are you quite through?" Rarity asked slowly.

"I've said my piece. I think he understands," Cookie said.

"Jake, darling, you don't have anything to say?" Rarity asked, her hackles obviously up.

"No," I said, which got a surprised look from Rarity. I continued on, addressing her parents. "I think you both made yourselves clear on your position. I don't like it, but I respect that you're worried about Rarity and want the best for her." I smiled ruefully into my cup of tea. "I'm actually sort of relieved. I know I have a skewed view of how parents are supposed to act, but you two seem like good people who have concerns about me, and aren't afraid to tell me." I looked up at them both. "I appreciate that. I like that you're both direct and honest. It makes things easier when everyone speaks plainly, so I'll do my best to reciprocate." I cleared my throat and sat up a bit, rolling my shoulders. "I really like Rarity, very much. She was the first friend that I made outside of the Princesses that oversee me and the guards that watch over me, and she's very important to me. I trust her, and that's not something that's easy for me." I cast my gaze between Cookie and Hondo, taking note of their careful attention. "I'd like your approval, and I wish that you had a better impression of me, but I'm used to working for the things I have. So, I'll simply have to work to prove to you that I'm a man worthy of your daughter." I reclined back, taking a slow sip of my tea, and inviting any rebuttal they might have. Hondo and Cookie shared an inscrutable look.

"All right, then," Hondo said, giving me a nod. "Thanks for telling us that."

Cookie cast me a careful smile, one that wasn't warm, but did show some appreciation. "We're happy that you're willing to hear us out. Honestly, just speaking with you is helping me feel a little better about things. We still have concerns, you understand, but... well," she looked to her husband.

Hondo shrugged. "If you're willing to be honest like you have been, and you're willing to take our feelings into consideration, we're willing to give you a chance." Rarity looked surprised, and I gave her a small smile, before standing up and walking over to Hondo.

"I'll do my best. It's all I can promise," I said, offering my fist again.

Hondo nodded gravely. "I'd expect nothing less, for my daughter." This time, the contact between my fist and his hoof was more in line with two people coming to an understanding, with no macho undertones.

"Well, that's all very fine, then," Rarity said, standing up and shooting her parents a glare. "But I have something to say, too." I stayed standing, but turned to face her. Rarity cleared her throat, and spoke carefully. "I would hope that you both trust me enough to know that I have sound judgement... and good taste in partners. Jake might not be what you'd expect, but I hope that you'll both allow me to conduct my personal life without undue interference."

"Hon, we just had concerns that we needed to voice. I hope you aren't upset!" Cookie said, frowning.

"If we're all being honest, here, then yes. I am," Rarity said, letting out a huff. "Honestly. Do you think I would give my time to a gentlecolt that was actually dangerous, or abusive, or anything so untoward?" She laughed, "I may dramatize the suffering I endure for my art, but I assure you, I wouldn't suffer abuse in my romantic life... and if I was, I have a close group of friends that wouldn't hesitate to help me exit such circumstances." Rarity took a firm stance. "So, I'll thank you both for your concern, but I wish that you would trust my judgement more readily."

Hondo winced. "Ah, it's not that we don't trust you, honey. Just that... well, we had concerns, like your mom said."

"And your concerns are noted," Rarity said, casting them a wan smile. "Now, if there's nothing else, I'm afraid that I've got about two hundred pieces of decoration to create for the Festival of Friendship, and I'm terribly behind schedule. I've a few sleepless nights ahead of me in order to catch up, and no more time to dawdle."

"Ah, well, all right, hon," Hondo said, standing up, and Cookie joined him. "We wouldn't want to put you further behind. You're a busy mare."

"Do you mind, though, if Sweetie Belle comes over while you're working tomorrow? I know she'd love to help," Cookie said, her ears going flat as a sheepish expression passed over her face.

Rarity opened her mouth, closed it in consideration for a moment, and then smiled. "She's been very helpful the last few days. I don't see why not."

"Great. We'll let her know," Cookie said. Hondo and Cookie both paused, looking up at me.

"It was nice to meet you both," I said diplomatically.

"Likewise," Hondo said, and Cookie nodded. They both saw themselves out, and left me to slowly collapse on the couch. Rarity joined me, letting out a long groan.

"That... could have gone better," I said.

"Could have gone better?" Rarity turned to face me, beaming. "Jake, you were fantastically reserved. I'm not sure how you kept your composure. My mother and I nearly got into a fight about how we wouldn't be able to give them foals!" She rolled her eyes.

I froze. "Foals?"

Rarity waved her hoof in the air dismissively. "My mother wants grandfoals. I told her that there were many ways to achieve that goal, and none of them were her concern, but rather were my prerogative!"

I let out a slow sigh. "Yeah..." I shivered. "God, I'm glad they didn't bring that up. I think I would have panicked."

Rarity giggled, giving me a light pat on one shoulder. "Your luck held out, today. I'm starting to think I should keep you around, just in the hopes that some of that luck will rub off on me."

"Maybe it will," I said, reaching out with one finger and poking her on the nose. Rarity's eyes crossed, and she let out a snort. "Did Spike mention when I needed to get back to the castle?"

"I'm afraid that he did say he needed you to bring the list of items that Applejack and Pinkie Pie needed before evening, so Twilight could get the orders going."

"Before evening. So... we have a few hours?" I asked, glancing out one of the windows towards the bright blue sky.

"Indeed, it seems we do. I would rather like to get going on the decor for the festival... but I believe I can spare an hour for a nice lunch with a handsome gentlecolt. After all, you did handle my parents with aplomb, and that deserves a reward," Rarity said, leaning forward. I felt a little shiver go up my spine as her eyes locked with mine.

"A reward, huh?" I said, smiling at her with a calm that I didn't feel. My heart was going crazy in my chest.

"Mmhm," she said, her breath tickling my face.

"W-what kind of reward?" I asked, feeling some heat rise in my cheeks. Rarity's eyes had a predatory glint. Had I just stammered?

"I believe," Rarity breathed, leaning past my cheek to whisper in my ear, "A sandwich shall do."

"You tease," I laughed and gave her a playful shove.

Rarity giggled, leaning away from me, but wasn't able to hide a light blush. "You love it."

"I do," I said, chuckling as I stood up from the couch. "Your treat, though?"

"Of course, darling. I subjected you to that uncomfortable situation, and I'll make it worth your while," Rarity said happily, standing and trotting towards the stairs. "I'll just check my makeup, and then we'll go get a bite of something nice."

"I'd like to take a bite of something nice right now," I said with a mock growl.

Rarity's face flushed red, and she cast me a look from the base of the stairs up to her room. "Who's the tease now, darling?"

I laughed softly, gesturing for her to go on, and she smiled, shaking her head as she trotted up the stairs. I watched her leave, and let out a slow sigh. Today was shaping up to be better than expected, in many ways. Maybe Spike and I could help Rarity catch up on her decorating job for the festival? And tomorrow, an opportunity to meet Sweetie Belle properly. Even though Rarity's parents seemed to have a low opinion of me, Sweetie Belle had been nothing but kind and earnestly interested in me, the few brief times we'd met.

There was a lot to consider, but for the first time in several days, things felt... better.

9a: Festival Of Friendship, Part 1

View Online

I stared out at the crowds of ponies flooding Canterlot from my chosen spot at the top of one of the Canterlot Castle's outdoor balconies. Luna had given me leave to use her personal suite to watch the festival if I was feeling overwhelmed by the crowds... and I was. I liked ponies, but there were a lot of them down there, today. This festival had been revving up for several days, now, and it was finally about to really begin.

From where I stood, I could see the ponies rushing about and finishing preparations. I sighed, and glanced to my left and right. Sapphire and Dusky had joined me at the balcony, and both of them were watching the festival with interest. Dusky was out of his armor, as was Sapphire, as Twilight had ordered the guards to leave their armor off for the day of the festival. She thought it would promote a "more friendly atmosphere". Instead of armor, they wore necklaces that had badges on them denoting them as "Friendship Festival Helpers". It was probably the dumbest thing I'd ever heard. All big events needed security! It was just how things went, right? Dusky and Sapphire were otherwise unarmed. Sapphire was wearing a blue knit scarf, and Dusky sported a pair of sunglasses. For my part, I just wore my new pair of brown pants and a grey, long-sleeved shirt to cut some of the chill of the wind coming off of the Canterhorn mountain. The shirt was nice, another gift from Rarity, and over a breast pocket was a monogrammed image of her cutie mark. The three blue gems against the grey shirt looked nice, in my opinion, though it was a little like Rarity had stamped her name on me, like she was staking a claim. Not that I minded...

"You guys are sure you don't want to go and grab your armor?” I asked, finally breaking the silence. “You're technically assigned to me, and I can make requests, right?"

Sapphire tore her eyes away from the sky, where a team of blue-suited pegasus ponies were working on a flight routine, and she smiled. "Jake, come on. Everything is fine."

"I know you worry, friend, but this request was made by Princess Twilight... and as Princess Luna explained, today is Twilight's day to show her ability to the country. That means that we must show her the utmost trust in things," Dusky said, smiling at me through his sunglasses. He looked silly with them on, but I understood that bright light was hard on his Sarosian eyes.

"I still think it's stupid," I grumbled, frowning.

"Cheer up, Jake. Why don't we go down to the festival and get something to eat? There's a lot of great looking food stalls set up down there," Sapphire said, pointing towards a grouping of carts exuding tantalizing scents that wafted on the breeze. My stomach growled in response, and Sapphire smirked. "Come on, big guy."

"Fine. Let's grab a snack and get back up here. These big crowds make me nervous. There's a reason I like working the night shift," I said, standing up and stretching.

We picked our way through the castle, which was mostly empty. Celestia and Luna had released a majority of the guards on liberty so they could attend the festival, and the rest of the guards were working down at the festival proper. It was almost unnerving, not having the familiar presence of the royal guards in the halls. I did my best to control my nerves, but I still habitually found myself checking my corners as I walked with Dusky and Sapphire. My two escorts were far more at ease, both of them smiling and joking with one another. We made it out to the central plaza of Canterlot after a long slog through foot traffic, and directly into the middle of a street performance of some kind. Dozens of ponies were singing together in harmony, and I watched with interest. Dusky seemed to be in a similar state of bemusement, his hoof tapping to the beat of the music being played by a nearby band. Sapphire, on the other hand, grinned a huge grin, and as the chorus broke in, she flew into the crowd and began to sing and dance along with the rest of the ponies. I stared, my jaw dropping slowly as she moved along with the crowd in perfect synchronization, her voice joining with the rest of the ponies. I managed to recover my wits and I turned to Dusky. "What the hell is going on?"

Dusky raised an eyebrow and smirked at me. "You have never seen this phenomenon, friend?" He gestured to the dancing group of ponies, and I noticed Rarity was with them, as was the rest of her friends, and even Princess Twilight, all leading the bizarre musical number. "It is the magic of Harmony, given form and taking shape before your eyes. It is a part of Equestria, as sure as the breeze in the air or the moon in the night sky. When ponies or those close to them feel strong emotions, they grow more closely connected, and they... sing." He chuckled. "It is not something that we Sarosians are quite in tune with. We are creatures of subtlety."

I pointed to his tapping hoof. "What's that, then?"

Dusky looked down at his hoof with mild amusement. "What?" He blinked, and frowned. "I do not—" Before Dusky could protest, Sapphire swooped in and grabbed him and pulled him into the crowd of dancing ponies, right as another round of the chorus broke in.

"We got this!" Sapphire sang, grinning fiercely at me over her shoulder.

"We got this, together!" Dusky sang back, looking a little startled as he danced along with the crowd. I couldn't help it. I laughed, holding my sides as my typically stoic Sarosian friend was dragged into the impromptu musical. After another minute of singing and a big flourish, the musical interjection ended, and the ponies went back to what they were doing as if nothing had happened. Rarity spotted me and gave me a wave and a big smile, which I returned.

"Jake!" She trotted over to me, adjusting her mane and casting me a wink. "Hello, darling. It feels like we haven't talked in an age! It's safe to assume that you've never seen such a harmonic display before?"

"Yeah," I said, shaking my head and looking around as the crowds acted like they hadn't just been involved in a song and dance routine. "It's, frankly, a bit creepy."

"Creepy?!" Rarity gasped, and turned her nose up in mock indignation. "Well, not everypony can be said to have good taste in music."

"I like my songs harder," I said, doing a little air guitar in demonstration.

Rarity watched my waggling fingers and giggled. "Goodness, what sort of instrument is that supposed to be?"

"A guitar?" I blinked, and realized that I hadn't seen many guitars around Equestria.

"Oh, yes. That Minotaur instrument. I think I've seen Pinkie use one, before," Rarity said, rubbing her chin as she mused over the number of odd instruments she'd seen in Pinkie Pie's possession. "No matter. The music comes however it likes, following the mood of the moment and the ponies involved."

I shrugged, "Well, it's still strange. Everypony just getting magically swept up in a musical number? Not normal."

"Well, darling, I assure you it is in Equestria," Rarity said, leaving no room for argument. She gestured towards a nearby stage, "Now, I need your opinion on the decorations for Songbird Serenade's stage!"

I chuckled. "Rarity, I have the utmost faith in your ability to decorate, and you know that I don't have any sense for it."

"Still, I'd love to hear what you have to say. I can trust that, with your lack of expertise in set dressing, if there's anything horribly amiss you will be able to see it. A laypony's opinion, if you will. Or layperson, apologies." Rarity said, bringing me over to the large stage. I stared at it, taking in the details. Ribbon, gemstones, velvet curtains, decorative light covers; it was set nicely. My eyes followed the edge of the stage, searching the details for anything that stood out as off, and I spotted it almost immediately. "There's a bunch of missing gems on that edge, over there." Rarity's eyes widened as she surveyed the stage.

"What happened? I was certain that I'd... oh." Rarity gestured to Spike, who was sitting beneath some of the bunting around the edge of the stage, wiping some sparkling crumbs from his face. "Ah ha. The culprit! I'll have a chat with him, and get the gems re-set. Thank you, darling. The concert is at sunset, and Miss Serenade should be arriving any time to start her sound check, so I need to make sure that everything is as ready as it could be!"

I smiled at Rarity encouragingly as she started away. "Anything I can do to help you out, Rarity?" I asked, hoping for an affirmative answer. I was itching for something to do, if I was being honest, because all the sitting around had made me antsy.

"Actually, there is one thing. My sister Sweetie Belle is around here with Scootaloo and Apple Bloom. Would you keep an eye on her while I'm helping with the set-up? I'm afraid that between the decoration and the final checks on everything for the show, I haven't had an ounce of time to spare to make sure she's keeping out of trouble," Rarity said, smirking in that knowing way of hers.

"Oh, yeah. That's fine. Do you know where she is, exactly?" I asked, looking up towards the sky. There were some clouds in the distance, rolling in towards the city. I wondered if the pegasus weather teams were handling it, or if it was part of the show for tonight.

"She was over with Applejack's family earlier, I believe," Rarity said, turning her attention to the stage.

"All right. Good luck, Rarity," I said, smiling at her.

Rarity cast me a wink over her shoulder. "Luck? It's all skill tonight, darling."

I chuckled and turned in place, trying to spot where the Apple family had their tables of pies and other food set up. There were lots of vendors, and tons of ponies filled the streets, and I realized that I had lost my point of reference from the palace balcony. I frowned, trying to recall my view from above all the crowds, when a hoof reached out and touched my hip. I turned and looked down, and was greeted by the smiling faces of Sapphire and Dusky.

"You lost, little human?" Sapphire said, winking at me. I rolled my eyes, smirking at her and ruffling her mane, earning an annoyed snort as she worked to get her mane back in order.

"Yeah. Rarity asked me to find her little sister, and she said that she was helping the Apples with pie sales. Either of you two big, strong guard ponies know where they're set up?" I said, my tone mocking.

"Oh, the Apple family has their wares on display on the eastern end of the central plaza, right over there," Dusky said, pointing towards an area where there was a big group of ponies, all gathered at several long picnic tables. I spotted Applejack and Big Mac shortly after that, as the two ponies served steaming apple pies up to the hungry festival-goers. I approached, smiling at the ponies that were practically melting into food-comas as they devoured the delicious apple treats. Applejack spotted me and grinned.

"Jake! Land's sakes, there ya are. Where've ya been? Hidin' away?" Applejack said with a good-natured laugh as she cut another slice of pie and placed it on a plate, passing it off to Big Mac to give to yet another customer.

"Hey, Applejack. Yeah, sorry. Just was lying low for a bit, but I'm here," I said, looking around at the crowd that surrounded their tables of food. "Business sure looks good."

"Darn tootin'! We've been feedin' ponies faster than a... a... somethin' mighty fast!" Applejack's muzzle scrunched up and her ears flicked in annoyance. "So wrapped up in workin' I ain't got time for a countryism!"

"Well, don't overdo it. This looks like a marathon, not a sprint. You pace yourself. There's a whole weekend for this festival to get through," I said, smirking at the farmpony. "Hey, by the way, have you seen Sweetie Belle? Rarity said that she and her friends were around here somewhere."

"Oh, uh," Applejack's eyes darted around, and she did a quick turn in place. "Well, they were 'round here. Sorry, Jake, they're supposed to be helpin', but looks like they've run off," she said, chuckling. "You know how those fillies get. Always up to somethin'."

I let out a sigh. "Yeah. Okay, thanks, AJ. I'll go find them, they can't have gone too far."

"Apple Bloom said she was gonna grab some more apples from our cart. It's parked over by the castle's kitchen, right where Pinkie Pie's been set up," Big Mac said suddenly. I blinked and looked over to him, surprised.

"Wow. That's more words than I've ever heard you say... ever," I said, raising an eyebrow at the laconic stallion. Big Mac shrugged. I chuckled. "Don't change, big guy. Okay, castle kitchen. That's more my territory. Thanks!"

Dusky and Sapphire flanked me as we moved through the crowds, heading for the castle proper once more. I slipped down a back alley, arriving at a more familiar back route, and let out a sigh as we left the crowd behind. I took a pause, reveling in the quieter atmosphere and the lack of ponies. Sapphire glanced up at me, smirking. "Too much for you, Jake?"

"It just makes me a little anxious. I'm sure you can guess why," I said evenly, taking another deep breath and letting it out.

"Combat experience," Dusky said, adjusting his sunglasses. "The veterans get this way sometimes, too. Watching a whole crowd for threats is daunting. It is an instinct that is difficult to turn off."

Sapphire's eyes widened, and she took a step towards me, but I waved her off. "I'm okay, I promise. Just needed a moment," I said, feeling much better. "Okay. Kitchens! Let's see what kind of mess the Crusaders are getting into. Knowing them, they've managed to get themselves covered in... frosting or something."

Sapphire smirked. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

We took a few quick detours, dodging the crowds, and found ourselves outside the Canterlot Castle kitchens in short order. The area was dominated by a massive mixing bowl, the likes of which I'd never seen before, with some kind of wild bike-mounted mixer atop it, and a gigantic canon stationed to one side of the small plaza. I gaped at it, eyes wide. "What the hell?"

"Jake?!" A familiar voice squealed, and suddenly I was tackled into a hug. Pinkie Pie's snoot was pressed right against my nose as she gave me a massive, back-popping, ribcage-crushing squeeze. "Jakey-wakey! Oh my gosh, I'm so excited to see you! Where've you been?! Wait, don't answer, I already know it isn't your fault! Oooh, this is so exciting! You're just in time!"

I grunted as the air was crushed from my body. "Pinkie!" I grabbed her under the forelegs and pried her off of my torso, holding her at arm's length. "Yeah, happy to see you too. How's things going? You're all ready for the festival?"

"Yuperooni! I've got everything almost set! The mango fruit tarts with chili powder were selling like hotcakes, and the hotcakes were selling like hotcakes, too! Your idea is a huge hit! Mister and Missus Cake can hardly keep up, and we're making them as fast as we can!" Pinkie said, squirming in my grasp as she gestured excitedly.

"Awesome," I said with a sincere grin, setting the wriggling pink pony down. She giggled, pronking happily around, and then came to rest at the base of the massive canon.

"Anyway, I've got to run. I'm expecting a whole platoon of clowns to show up, and they're running late!" Pinkie declared, winking at me. "But that's clowns for ya! They are never late, or early, but arrive exactly when they intend to!" Pinkie paused, her eyes crossing. "Or was that wizards? Hm. I'll have to figure that out. Bye bye!" With a wave, Pinkie bounced away, heading for the main plaza and all the crowds.

"Oh, uh, okay. Bye, then!" I watched her go and let out a sigh and glanced at Sapphire and Dusky. They both looked equally nonplussed by Pinkie's erratic behavior. I gave them a shrug, before turning to look around the outdoor kitchen area that Pinkie Pie had assembled. Dozens of boxes, massive stacks of cake mix, and a gigantic mess. I spotted the Apple family cart, piled high with apples, and approached it. I could hear the Cutie Mark Crusaders talking before I got very close, and I smirked, happy that I'd found them, finally. The three fillies were digging into the pile of apples atop the cart for some reason, chattering with each other as they worked.

"I'm telling you, the green apples are just under all the red ones! We need the right ones or Applejack ain't gonna be able to make the right pies!" Apple Bloom declared.

"But there's so many red ones! We gotta haul all of these out of the way?!" Scootaloo protested, flopping backwards over a pile of apples and whining in protest. "This is going to take forever!"

"Need some help?" I asked, stepping forward. All three of the fillies turned at once. Apple Bloom smiled, Scootaloo rolled her eyes, and Sweetie Belle let out a happy squeak.

"Jake! You're here! Yeah, we'd love some help!" Sweetie Belle said, hopping up and down in her excitement. A few apples were crushed under hoof in the process, and she glanced down, noting the apple juice splattering her hooves. "... Darn it."

Scootaloo groaned. "No, we've got it. We don't need your help."

"Sounded like you do," I said evenly. I knew Scootaloo still hadn't forgiven me for my little dust-up with Rainbow Dash, but maybe this was an opportunity to win a little trust. "Listen, I know you don't like me very much. That's okay. Your big sister figure and I got in a fight, so I don't blame you. But... I can still help you out. I've been helping out everypony this last week, leading up to the festival, and that includes Rainbow Dash, and you don't see us getting into fights, or not accepting each other's help, do you?"

Scootaloo frowned, glancing down at her hooves. "No," she grumbled.

"So... why not let me lend you three a hand. I'll even have Sapphire and Dusky help, too," I said, glancing back at the two guardponies with a grin.

"Are you volunteering us for stuff again, Jake?" Sapphire said, scowling in mock-indignation.

"You know it," I said, winking at her.

Dusky stepped forward, smirking slightly. "Ah, it is fine. I'd be happy to help such fine young mares with a task."

Overhead, there was a rumble, and we all paused in our discussion to look up at the sky. Black clouds were streaming in from the west, arriving without warning and darkening the blue skies above us. My eyes widened in surprise, and my hairs stood on end as the air pressure dropped suddenly, a chill permeating me. "Wow. That's... something else. Special effects for a performance?"

"I don't remember there being dark clouds scheduled," Sapphire said, staring up at the sky and biting her lip.

"... Yeah. You know what, kids, let's get you back to your sisters. How's that sound?" I said, a creeping sense of unease suddenly hitting me.

"That sounds like a good idea," Apple Bloom said, frowning up at the clouds. "We should probably cover up the apples, too, in case there's gonna be rain?"

"No," I said, the feeling of unease only growing as a massive black airship pierced through the bottom of the clouds. "I think we need to go right now. Sapphire, Dusky, are you guys sure there isn't anything scheduled like this?"

The Cutie Mark Crusaders all let out gasps as the airship struck a trio of decorative towers on the edge of the far pavilion in its descent, and they wordlessly leapt from the cart, gathering at my feet. Sapphire stepped forward, face serious. "No, absolutely nothing like this. Barring foreign dignitaries wanting to make a grand entrance, this is totally unheard of. The Airship docks are on the other side of the city, regardless, so this is an unscheduled landing. Somecreature is in huge trouble."

A squadron of blue-suited pegasus ponies, whom I recognized instantly as the Wonderbolts, flew overhead at top speed. They disappeared into the storm clouds, swallowed up by the dark. I watched them go by and scowled. "Yeah, this is all wrong." Something inside me screamed to head for cover, but I ignored it. I had to get these fillies to their families. "We're going right to Applejack's family, and we're gonna get you guys to Big Macintosh and Applejack, and then we'll go and see what's going on once you guys are taken care of. Okay?"

"That sounds good," Apple Bloom said, voice tinged with nervousness.

Scootaloo looked less nervous, her eyes locked on the airship. "... That thing is so cool. I wonder what it's like to fly it?"

"I think it looks spooky... and Rarity would call it ‘ostentatious,’" Sweetie Belle said, sticking close to my side.

"Yeah..." I said, looking to Sapphire and Dusky. Dusky removed his sunglasses as the sun was blocked out by the clouds rolling in overhead, and he gave me a serious look. Sapphire's eyes were on the sky, scanning it, squinting into the dark clouds. Her ears perked forward, and she didn't spare me a glance. "Let's go."

Sapphire and Dusky followed me, falling a few paces behind as I lead the way. The Crusaders kept behind my feet and between the two guardponies. The crowds had gone quiet, and we could hear some loudspeaker announcement floating over the streets of Canterlot as we moved down the back alleys, but it was difficult to make out the words at this distance. Every hair on the back of my neck stood on end, and I suppressed a shiver.

Everything was fine, right? The ponies had this handled. Some idiot foreign dignitary obviously was trying to make a splash, and the Wonderbolts would be clearing out these clouds in minutes. They were already on top of it, in fact. I glanced up at the clouds again. I could swear that I could see shapes moving within them, but I shook my head, pulling my eyes away.

"They've got this. Relax,” I muttered, my anxious tone hidden beneath the ominous rumblings beyond. “Get the kids to Big Mac and Applejack. Go get some answers."

Our circuitous route through the city took us to the square where Applejack's family had set up the pies, just beneath the large central square where the concert was scheduled to take place. The black airship loomed overhead, and had banners on display: a black-armored, Sasquatch-looking thing with white fur appeared prominently, a big dumb grin on his face and a menacing claw pointed out like a riff on some kind of war propaganda.

I mentally breathed a sigh of relief. A dumbass foreign dignitary. I spotted Big Macintosh and a gaggle of the Apple Family relatives huddled together near their tables full of pies, talking in whispers and glancing up at the airship with curiosity and some concern. "Big Mac!" I called out, waving to the pony as I approached.

Big Mac saw me and waved me over, and Apple Bloom rushed directly to him, Scootaloo right behind her. "Big Mac! Sorry, I was just grabbin' apples, but we couldn't get to the green ones. What's goin' on?"

Big Mac shrugged. "Dunno." He looked up at the airship, just as the announcement carried over the city."And now, to deliver the evil, evil message, put your hooves together... for Commander Tempest!"

I raised an eyebrow. "... Evil, evil message?" I snorted. "They can't be serious. Who announces their intentions like that?"

"Bad guys. Bad guys announce their intentions like that," Sapphire said, putting a hoof on the small of my back. "Jake, we need to move back to the castle."

"I agree with Sapphire," Dusky said, already turning and heading that direction.

"Wait, hold on. I told Rarity that I'd watch Sweetie Belle," I said, gesturing down to Sweetie, who had stuck at my side, glancing anxiously up at the airship overhead.

"Bring her, then! We need to go. Now." Sapphire said, looking around anxiously.

I knelt down, getting Sweetie Belle's attention with a hand on her back. She looked at me, biting her lower lip. "Sweetie, we need to go. I told Rarity I'd take care of you, so I need you to come with me, okay?"

"What about Apple Bloom and Scootaloo?" Sweetie said, pointing to her two friends.

"Apple Bloom is with her family, and you know Scootaloo would rather not hang out with me. I really need you to come with me and Sapphire and Dusky. I'm getting worried about all this." As I spoke, there were audible gasps above us, and I looked up just in time to see the Princesses flying overhead... Luna, Celestia, and Cadance, making a straight flight to the square above us, disappearing as they flew in for a landing. I grimaced. "The Princesses are handling things, but I need to keep my promise to your sister, okay?"

Sweetie Belle hesitated, glancing between her friends and I. Scootaloo looked over and waved for Sweetie to come. Her ears flattened. "Can we all just stick together?"

"Jake!" Dusky's voice carried over growing crowd sounds, and I looked up. He was at attention, wings spread, and he pointed up. "There's more airships in the clouds! We need to move now!"

I grimaced. "Sweetie Belle, we need to go. I'm not arguing with you. You're coming with me. Rarity put me in charge of keeping you out of trouble, and this is definitely trouble."

I stood up and took her by the hoof. Sweetie put up a brief moment of resistance before I started walking, and she fell in beside me just as Dusky and Sapphire broke into a run, heading for the nearest stairway up to the upper plaza and the castle just beyond it. I moved to keep up, jogging just short of a full-on sprint so that Sweetie Belle could easily stay at my side. Above us, more airships broke through the clouds, sounding bellowing horns as they approached the upper plaza. I cursed quietly and reached down, scooping up a yelping Sweetie Belle and throwing her over my shoulder, carrying her with one hand. She wriggled in fright, but I moved faster, soon arriving at the back of the plaza and dashing up a set of stairs. From this height we could gradually see—far below—a large crowd of ponies who had thickly gathered in the Canterlot Courtyard to greet the uninvited guests. It was startling to see them gathered together, as I’d figured they’d be fleeing in terror by now, but when I saw a quartet of Alicorns at their head, it made more sense that they were standing their ground. A single armored unicorn stood on a ramp, facing Princess Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Twilight. The two new airships, as they approached, dropped ropes that dangled near the ground.

My eyes widened. "Oh shit, those are troop transports."

Just as I spoke, dozens of black armored, white-furred bipeds poured from the ships, sliding down the ropes and advancing rapidly across the pavilion. I cursed, watching as the strange creatures charged from every side, hemming in the massive crowd of ponies. Where the hell were the guards?! I realized that the guards were down there among the ponies, out of their armor, protected by nothing but lanyards bearing 'Friendship Festival Helper' badges. Dusky and Sapphire stayed at my side, grimacing, heads on a swivel, watching and taking stock of the situation. I glanced down at them. "How bad is this?"

"We're about to be totally surrounded. If we make a break for it, we can get to the castle," Sapphire said, stepping close to me. We all stopped as the armored unicorn on the ramp suddenly made a move, leaping high into the air and kicking a glowing green ball of... something... at the Princesses. Princess Cadance stepped forward, intercepting with a magic shield... but the ball broke through as if it were nothing at all, smashing into Princess Cadance and covering her body in green smoke. Sapphire stiffened, wings flaring open in surprise, and we could hear Twilight scream as her sister-in-law was suddenly turned into black crystal.

"... Shit," I murmured, watching helplessly, a few hundred yards from being able to do anything at all. On my shoulder, Sweetie Belle trembled, her hooves clutching around my neck. I placed my free hand on her back and glanced into her frightened green eyes. "Hey. We're going to be okay. I'm going to get you to the castle, okay?"

"Okay," Sweetie said, lower lip trembling as she fought frightened tears.

Dusky and Sapphire turned as one and pushed me. "Let's go." Over their shoulders, I watched as the black-armored unicorn hit Celestia with a ball of green magic, covering her in black crystal. I felt my knees go weak.

"Oh, shit. Guys, they just got Celestia," I said, turning on my heel and starting to run towards Canterlot Castle, only to be greeted with the sight of another airship flying over the castle, depositing more biped troops on the upper towers. Dusky and Sapphire stopped as well, gasping.

"The castle's being overrun," Dusky said, turning back towards the pavilion. By the way he froze in place and his jaw dropped, I knew something bad was happening, and I turned, just in time to see Luna get petrified in black crystal. "... H'luun...!"

The situation had just gone to shit. Dusky had frozen up, Sapphire was barely holding it together, turning every which way, looking for an option, and I had a filly in my arms. Helpless. I looked down below as a green missile flew and struck Twilight Sparkle, and she disappeared in a puff of green smoke. I clenched my teeth. Setting Sweetie Belle down on her hooves, I looked at her. "Sweetie, can you keep up if we run? I need my hands free."

Sweetie nodded twice, shaking anxiously. I turned, then grabbed Dusky and Sapphire each by an ear before pulling them together in front of me. They both gasped, protesting, but I soon had their full attention. "Guys,” I hissed. “We need to get to the castle. We can figure out what to do once we're out of the open and on our home turf. You guys need to get yourselves together."

Over the commotion on the other side of the plaza, I heard an angry bellow: "That's not the princess! Grubber! Get her, NOW!" All three of us turned to see a mass of the enemy troops moving towards one side of the plaza, chasing after a group of ponies. I spotted rainbow contrails between the rush of guards. "... That's Rainbow Dash."

"Rarity!" Sweetie Belle said, pointing. I could just spot her from our elevated position near the castle. She was running towards a bridge with the rest of her friends. Even Twilight was with them!

"New plan. Get to Twilight and her friends. They're the Elements of Harmony, right?" I said, pointing to them. Sapphire and Dusky nodded, and as one group, we ran along the upper street, keeping an overwatch of the situation. I could barely make out what was happening, but Rarity, Twilight, Spike and their friends were staying ahead of the squads of armored yetis.

"They're about to get hemmed in," Dusky said, watching as they reached a bridge over one of Canterlot's scenic waterways. A squad of yetis reached the opposite side. They were surrounded.

"Damn it. Come on, Twilight. Use that magic!" I hissed, speeding up. She was an Alicorn! Strongest magic user in Equestria, or so they'd told me! "Don't let me down. Don't let Rarity down. Come on!"

I saw Twilight's violet magic blast out from her, lancing out at a Yeti guard, but he raised a shield. The shimmering black surface of the shield reflected the blast... down.

Into the bridge.

We all froze in horror as the bridge collapsed, dumping the six ponies and one small dragon into the waterway.

"RARITY!" Sweetie Belle screamed, watching her sister disappear into the water. I was still, shocked, my eyes traveling down the waterway... to the massive waterfall at the end, only a dozen feet from the collapsed bridge.

"... Oh my god," I breathed, grabbing Sweetie Belle and turning her away. "Sweetie Belle, don't watch." I saw a few colorful heads briefly break the surface as I clutched Sweetie to my chest. She was screaming, trying to turn and see, and I couldn't stop her from watching as her sister and her sister's friends disappeared over the waterfall. Her voice cracked and broke into sobs, and I felt tears in my own eyes. "... There's no way they survived that," I whispered, mostly to myself.

"N-no! Rarity!" Sweetie yelled, twisting in my grasp, but I clutched her tight, not letting her go. "Jake, we have to go save her!"

Save her? She was dead. I'd just watched her die. I shuddered, the bottom falling out of my stomach. I felt like I was going to throw up, but instead I just sank back to my ass, keeping a hold of Sweetie Belle as she tried to get away from me. She hit my chest, but I barely felt it.

She was gone. Rarity was gone.

Sapphire was there, in front of me, suddenly, her eyes locked on mine. "Jake!" I blinked and looked up at her, feeling dazed, and she reached out and put a hoof on my shoulder, while her wings wrapped around Sweetie Belle and I. "Jake, we can't do this right now. I need you to push it down and we need to move. All of us. You have to take care of Sweetie Belle."

Sweetie grew quiet, sobbing and whimpering. I stared at Sapphire, blinking hard, trying to clear my vision. Sapphire was steady, her eyes full of worry, but she was standing firm in front of me. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. My heart was breaking, my entire body locking up as the cold realization that some of my best friends, ponies I loved, had just been taken away from me. I felt cold grip me, freezing me, threatening to send me into a spiral. Sapphire’s hoof squeezed my shoulder with sudden strength, and the pain gave me focus. I looked up into her amber eyes again, feeling mine starting to tear up, but her determined gaze brought me some comfort in the moment, and I rallied my emotions with a shaky breath. She was right. Push it down.

I swallowed hard and got to one knee, taking a deep breath, and then I set Sweetie Belle down, keeping one hand on the back of her neck. I looked at her, fighting tears, and her green eyes met mine. "Sweetie... Rarity told me to take care of you. I promise, I'll do that. Okay? I need you to understand, and I need you to do everything that Miss Sapphire and Mister Dusky and I ask you to do. No questions. Okay?" Sweetie nodded once, trembling. I put a hand on her cheek and wiped the tears tracking down her face away with my thumb. "I'll keep you safe. Stay really close to us, okay? No running off? I need you to say yes, please."

"Y-yes," Sweetie whimpered. I took a deep breath, centering myself, pushing everything down, locking it away for now. It made me feel sick, but the feeling faded, and I looked up to Sapphire and Dusky. They stood shoulder-to-shoulder, looking at me, and they nodded.

"Armory's our best shot," Dusky said with certainty. "It's safe, secure, and if anypony's organizing a counterattack, it'll be there."

"Armory," I said, nodding back to them. "Lead the way."

All around us, panicked ponies ran amok, looking to escape, and squads of yetis were pursuing them, using ropes and shackles to capture some, or simply tackling and pinning others down. One such squad approached us: two unarmed yetis and one using a spear and shield. They halted just short of our party, taking stock, but before they could do anything Dusky and Sapphire surged forward as one. My well-trained companions took to the air, lancing forward to meet the hesitating enemies, while I hung back, stepping in front of Sweetie Belle protectively. "Stay back, Sweetie."

Sapphire hit her target first, the yeti taking a swipe at her and missing as she slammed into his face with both front hooves. The yeti reeled back with a yell, his helmet denting from the force of the impact.

Dusky hit his yeti second, shrieking out some Sarosian war cry as he flew low under a clawed swipe and delivered a double buck to the invaders knee. Its leg buckled, dropping the yeti and making him lean forward... and within range of a ferocious uppercut that smashed into the creature's helmet and laid him out.

The third yeti with the spear and shield whirled his spear, seeking to smash Sapphire over the head with the haft of the weapon, but she ducked underneath the attack. The spear struck her first target in the gut, doubling the creature over with a grunt, and Sapphire capitalized by delivering a clasped-forehoof blow to the back of the injured yeti's head, knocking him to the ground.

Dusky took an opportunity to viciously kick his downed opponent's helmet, ensuring he stayed down, before launching himself at the armed yeti. The invader turned to meet his charge, raising its shield, and Dusky rebounded off of it with a grunt of pain. The yeti kicked out with a massive foot, catching Dusky in the side and sending him sprawling to the ground. I spotted an opening and took a running start. The armed yeti wheeled, turning to face me as I rushed him, and he leveled his spear at me just a moment too late. The spear haft hit my shoulder, making me wince, but I bulled into his shield. I was nearly the same size as the soldier, but my momentum caused him to slide back as he let out a roar of surprise.

With his attention fully on me, he didn't see Sapphire launch herself into the air and come down atop his head with a flying bicycle kick right to the back of his helmet. The sound of metal-shod hoof hitting armor was intense, and he stiffened, his arms going limp, and I shoved into his stomach, sending him crashing to the ground, out cold. Sapphire flew in the air, grinning triumphantly, but her hoof was cracked from the impact, and I could see some blood welling from the injury. Dusky stood up, nodding to me and rubbing at his sore side. I turned around as soon as I was certain they were all right, looking to Sweetie Belle. She'd moved herself to the side of the road we were on, crouched down to make herself small, but as soon as I turned she ran to me, coming right to my side. "See?" I said with a grimace, rubbing my bruised shoulder. "No sweat."

"That was really scary," Sweetie said, gritting her teeth.

"Yeah. Hang in there, okay?" I turned to Sapphire and Dusky. "Let's go, come on."

We left the yetis groaning and squirming in pain on the cobblestones, and we made a direct run for one of the castle's side entrances, dodging down a few well-known alleyways. We passed civilian ponies along the way, hiding in the back streets, and they simply followed along with us. I didn't mind. The more we had, the better a fight we could put up.

We didn't encounter any more yeti soldiers until we reached the side entrance we were aiming for. The large wooden door was surrounded by six of the creatures, all pushing and straining at the frame. A big one with a club alternated smashing against the door and shouldering viciously into it, but somepony was holding the door in place from the inside, bravely keeping the invaders out. The ponies behind us faltered, but Dusky and Sapphire and I stepped forward. "Let's hope that whoever is inside is ready to help out, or this is going to be bad."

Sapphire chuckled, favoring her cracked hoof. "I've got three good hooves, that's more than enough." Her wings spread open and she took to the air, Dusky right on her tail as they both accelerated upwards. I approached at a run, aiming for the rear-most yeti soldier. He turned at the last possible moment, looking over his shoulder just as I stepped up to him. I didn't hesitate, turning my momentum into a shoulder rush that smashed into his back and sent him sprawling into the next soldier, knocking the one I'd tackled into on his face and unbalancing the other one. I leapt over the downed yeti and kicked out, catching the creature in the back of the knee and forcing him to drop down to one knee. He didn't have time to turn around as I grabbed his head and pulled him backwards, throwing him down to the ground.

Dusky and Sapphire dove down from overhead, using gravity to their advantage and catching two more soldiers in the back and knocking them prone. They wasted no time, leaping up and delivering devastating kicks to the yeti's faces and heads, trying to put them out of the fight as rapidly as possible. The remaining two soldiers turned in surprise, and the big one let out a bellow, raising his club and charging. I couldn't pay much attention to how Dusky and Sapphire handled the other two, because I had two problems of my own.

I still had two enemies to deal with. The first one I'd knocked over was scrambling to his feet, growling, while the one I'd pulled over backwards was beneath me. I threw my weight behind a hard kick, my shoe rebounding off his helmet and knocking it sideways. He let out a grunt of pain, hands going to cover his head and fix his helmet, and I turned on my heel to face the other yeti. He'd wasted no time, pushing off a back foot, and I turned my full attention to him as he rushed me, throwing a haymaker punch. I rocked my weight back, dodging the blow, and stepped forward and inside his reach, pressing in close as I raised up my hands and tried to grab his helmet. His other hand reached across, slapping my hands away, and he grabbed me by one shoulder, gripping me and trying to push me away. His elbow came down across my head, but was in tight to him, so he didn't have much momentum. It still rocked me and made my vision blur when he hit me, but I twisted my hips forward and threw a vicious knee right into his gut. I heard the air escape his lungs in a huff, and I delivered a second knee, hitting a little higher and finding ribs instead of soft belly.

It didn't do enough damage, and his grip on me tightened and his other hand grabbed me by the back of the neck, and he shoved me down. I reached up, catching his hand on my neck with both of my hands, and I scrabbled for leverage. His clawed fingers were huge, but I got a grip on one, and I didn't hesitate to wrap both hands around it and yank sharply backwards. I felt his finger snap, and he let out a startled bellow, pulling his hand away. I took my chance and came in at him, from my bent low position grabbing his knee and pulling sharply. His weight shifted back, and I let him fall backwards, making to stand over him as he fell, when two massive hands caught me from behind and physically lifted me up off my feet. The other yeti had fixed his helmet entered the fray. "Fuck!"

The yeti roared, pulling me in tight and away from his comrade, and he shifted one massive arm up to try and put me into a rear choke hold. I resisted his pull for a moment, making him strain as he struggled with me, and then I reversed my weight backwards into him, stomping my heel back and into his inseam, following it down until I drove my heel into his foot. He let out a surprise howl, but didn't relent, his arm going across my neck and squeezing tight. I grit my teeth, choking, and stomped his foot again for good measure, reaching up with both hands and trying to find the leverage to pull his arm away. His forearms were massive, and I realized that I was going to have to get serious. I reached up for his helmet with both hands, grabbing at it, twisting and yanking viciously. He growled as I messed with his helmet, and he slugged me in the kidney with his other hand. I grunted but persisted, even as he delivered another nasty punch to my back, hitting my hip this time.

I was starting to see spots, but I got his helmet loose and yanked it off. Holding it in both hands, I drove it backwards with all my strength, right into his face. Something above me crunched, and suddenly his arm was off of my neck. I took a gasp of air, staggering forward, as he howled, clutching his face with both massive hands. I turned around and lifted the helmet, bringing it down on his hands, crushing his fingers, and he yelped and staggered backwards. I followed, aiming a kick and catching him in the groin. He let out a more strangled cry in some strange language, and actually turned and fled. I didn't follow, spinning around to take in the fight happening behind me.

The door was open, and three other ponies, a unicorn and two earth ponies, had joined the fight. They were fighting the big guard with the club. He'd lost his club at some point, and was reduced to throwing massive punches. Dusky was fighting one of his other two yetis, darting around in the air and harassing the guard with flyby kicks and punches. Sapphire, meanwhile, was stomping a yeti, leaving him unconscious as she finished him off with a kick to the face that knocked his helmet off.

That left myself and the one other yeti. I turned to him. He was back on his feet, hesitating, and when he saw me approach, clutching a bloody helmet in my hands, he also decided to flee. I growled and turned my attention to the big yeti, who'd just managed to grab one of the earth ponies fighting him and throw them a dozen feet. I moved in, my head mostly cleared from the lack of oxygen after the moment's respite, and I threw the helmet at the back of his head. "Hey, asshole!"

The helmet flew true, ricocheting off the back of his helmet, and he grunted and turned to me as I ran at him. The remaining earth pony took my cue and rushed him as well. Attention divided, he took a swing at me as I rushed him, and I didn't hesitate, tackling downwards at his knees. I caught him, tangling his legs with my body and grabbing a massive haunch. To his credit, he stayed standing, and a closed-fist hammer blow caught me in the head and made my vision flash white.

When my vision cleared, I saw that the earth pony had joined me, tackling into his other leg, and the two of us strained and pulled, bowling him over onto his back. The unicorn rushed in, the yeti's own massive club held in his telekinesis, and he delivered a walloping blow to the yeti's head with it. The yeti went limp. I held on for another moment, gritting my teeth as my head throbbed with pain. The earth pony panted, grimacing, and glanced at me. "Think he's down?"

"I hope so," I said, finally releasing his leg and letting it fall limp. The earth pony did the same, and I turned just in time to see Dusky and Sapphire work together in taking down the last yeti. I let out a breath and reached up, gingerly touching the back of my head where I'd been struck, and came away with blood. "Damn. Anybody got a bandage or something?"

"Bandages are inside," The unicorn spoke, and I took a moment to take stock of the unicorn. Bright orange coat, red mane, green eyes, glasses. He was built, and judging by his demeanor, he was probably an off-duty guard. "You all right, Jake?" he asked, frowning at me.

I grimaced and poked around, trying to find the bleeding spot. "If I can get a bandage on this, I'll be fine. Just bleeds a lot." I turned to regard the earth pony, "Hey, thanks for the help."

"Yeah," he replied, mostly ignoring me as he moved away to go check on his friend who'd gotten thrown.

I addressed the unicorn again, seeing as my unexpected ally seemed all right. "You must be a palace guard, if you know me."

"Yeah," the unicorn grunted again, turning his attention away from me and approaching Dusky and Sapphire. They were panting, and looked rough. I followed behind him as he surveyed the downed yetis. "Nice work, Corporal Spirit. Specialist Roads. You all right?"

Sapphire and Dusky nodded, but their postures straightened up as they took in the unicorn. "Yes, Sir. Ready for action," Sapphire said quickly, snapping him a salute with one wing. I raised an eyebrow. Who was this dude?

I lost my train of thought as another one suddenly blared to life in my head. Sweetie Belle! I turned around quickly, searching behind me with a frantic gaze. The little crowd of ponies that had followed us were approaching timidly, about eight in total, mares and stallions and younger ponies. Sweetie Belle stood with them, and she approached me quickly. I breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing her, and walked to meet her.

"Jake! You're bleeding!" Sweetie squeaked, pointing up at my head.

I crouched down, grimacing at the way doing so made my head swim a bit. "Yeah, sorry. We're clear for now, though. Are you okay?"

"Me? What about you?!" Sweetie Belle said, ears flattening in worry. I couldn’t help but find a smile for her, despite the pain. She was a sweetheart, just like her name implied, to care about me so fervently. She turned around, eyes scanning the crowd, and landed on a mare wearing a scarf. She dashed over to the mare and addressed her, voice urgent. "Miss, I'm real sorry, but can I borrow your scarf? My friend is hurt, we need it to stop his bleeding."

The mare looked surprised, hoof going to her scarf, but she looked to me and noticed my hands covered in blood. "G-goodness. Uh, yes, of course," she stammered, hoofing over the scarf to Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle took it and gave a very polite little curtsy, squeaking out a "Thank you so much!" before she rushed back over to me. "Here!" I took the scarf. It was a woolly knit thing, bright green, but it'd do. I unceremoniously pressed it to the back of my head, applying firm pressure. Sweetie Belle stepped around behind me, her hooves going up. "What else can I do?"

"I'm sure it looks worse than it actually is. Just blood. I need to keep pressure on it, and the bleeding will stop," I explained calmly, trying not to worry the filly any more than she already was.

"Pressure? So, you have to keep your hands on it?" Sweetie asked.

"Until I can bandage it properly, yeah," I replied, letting out a sigh. "It's okay, the unicorn guard said there were bandages inside." The unicorn guard in question was giving orders, directing the civilian ponies inside the castle, ordering a stretcher from inside for the earth pony that had been thrown, and generally taking charge of the situation. "We're gonna head in there, okay?"

"Okay," Sweetie Belle said, sticking close to me. She took as wide a berth as she could manage around the unconscious yetis, who'd been gathered into a group by the guard ponies and tied up. I approached Sapphire and Dusky, who were ushering the civilians inside, while the orange unicorn kept a weather eye over the whole affair. Sapphire and Dusky looked rough, coats mussed and manes askew, but beyond that no significant damage, though Sapphire was favoring her back hoof that'd been cracked in the earlier fight.

"Hey, guys. How are you holding up?" I asked, stepping beside Sapphire.

"Been better, but still good to go," Sapphire said, watching the last civilian pony trot into the castle. "How about you? The back of your head and your neck are covered in blood."

"Yeah, just broke the skin where I got punched. Rattled me a bit, but I'm good," I said, taking a deep breath, scanning the area. I could hear sounds of fighting inside Canterlot Castle, above us, as well as the sounds of panicked ponies out in the streets. I looked to the unicorn as he moved past us, gesturing for us all to follow him. "So, what's the situation?"

The corridors of the lower castle were filled with terrified staff ponies and civilians who had fled here for shelter, but I didn't see any armored guards. We could hear the sounds of fighting, distantly. As we walked, the orange unicorn spoke. "I don't know. I was out of uniform, as per orders, and when the Storm King showed up I made a bee-line for the castle to get to the armory.”

“Storm King. Do we know anything about this guy?” I asked, hoping for some more information.

The unicorn frowned—a common occurrence—and shook his head. “Not particularly. We’d heard some reports of a Storm King causing trouble to the south, around Abbysinia, but that was the last bit of intelligence we’d heard until he arrived today. The only reason we know anything at all is because his minions announced who they were fighting for in some stupid speech.”

“So, we know nothing?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“You know as much as I do. Airships indicate a mobile force. Those troopers, some kind of giant furred sasquatches—”

“Yetis,” I interrupted. The unicorn squinted at me. I shrugged. “They look more like yetis to me.”

He cleared his throat and then continued, “... or yetis or whatever, aren’t terribly well armed, but they don’t need to be just due to size and strength alone. Beyond that, I’ve only been able to gather little bits as I’ve been running for the Castle. By the time I got here, the invasion was already underway, and we were holding that door against the soldiers we just finished fighting." The orange unicorn glanced up. "We'd left a skeleton crew to watch gates and major entry points. If I were them, I'd have assembled around the internal and external entrances to the lower castle and I'd be holding those positions, hoping that the guards who'd been out in the city were coming back to the armory. That's our first move in case of emergency: report to the armory, get geared up, and then sweep out to assist."

"Right," I said, looking around as we rounded a corner. Two guards, still pulling on their armor, passed us, heading for a stairwell leading up. We turned another corner and were met by a hallway filled with guard ponies arming and armoring themselves. There were a dozen of them just in this corridor alone, and I could see beyond to the doors of the armory. Ponies were shouting orders, scrambling to assemble some kind of a resistance. "So, uh, embarrassing question. You know how all you guards have that glamour on your uniforms? I have no idea who you are."

The unicorn turned and fixed me with a squint, frowning ferociously. "Really."

I studied his face, the intense look, the frown, and then blinked in recognition. "Major Scope?"

Major Scope rolled his eyes. "Dumbass," he mumbled, almost under his breath. He picked up the pace, heading for the armory, and as he did he raised his voice. "LISTEN UP!" The ponies in the hallway scrambled to something like attention, and Scope's scowl deepened. "Don't buckin' STOP getting your gear on. Just clean your ears out and LISTEN." The action around us resumed, and Dusky pushed ahead, heading for the armory, while Sapphire went and grabbed a kit of medical supplies. "Once we're armed and armored, we're going to be holding the lower levels. No pushing out or heroic charges! This is an invasion, and we've got enemies inside the castle. We need to hold the lower levels and entrances and give every guard that's out there with the civilians enough time to get here and get armored! The more time we buy, the more reinforcements will have an opportunity to arrive and arm up!" Scope stopped and his voice grew louder, his horn glowing with green magic and amplifying it. "NO GROUND GIVEN. UNDERSTOOD?"

"YES, SIR!" Came the reply, clear and certain.

"Good. Let's go, ponies!" Scope trotted into the armory, disappearing from view.

I let out a low whistle. "Damn. That taciturn bastard knows how to give a speech," I said, looking to Sapphire. "What about you, aren't you getting armed up?"

"Yeah," Sapphire said, looking distracted. "Just wanted to make sure you're getting taken care of, first. Sit." I sat, and she grabbed a hoof full of bandages and, with professional practice, swapped the bloody scarf for a clean bunch of bandages. "Bleeding's slowed down. It's a small cut, like you said. I'm gonna wrap it tight, okay?"

"Do what you gotta do," I said evenly. She poured something from a little vial onto the injury, making it sting, and then she bandaged my head, wrapping the white strips of linen around my forehead and using them to secure a pad that maintained pressure. I held still, trying to focus myself away from the ache on the back of my head. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, I keenly felt my other hurts: where I'd been struck or hit in the two fights we'd been through. Beside me, Sweetie Belle watched with a mixture of curiosity and worry. "How about you? Your hoof has to hurt," I turned to ask Sapphire, remembering her injury.

"I'll get myself next," she said, finishing securing the bandage, ensuring it wouldn't slip. "Okay. Feel tight enough?"

"Any tighter and I'd think you were into choking," I said with a smirk, the smile not reaching my eyes or coming through in my voice.

Sapphire snorted, and her reaction made my smile a little more genuine. "Cute. Still got the jokes. That's good." She sat down in front of me, holding out her hoof. It was cracked partway up the middle, and though the bleeding had stopped, I could only imagine that it was very painful. Her free hoof rummaged in the medical kit, and came up with another vial full of brown liquid marked with a horseshoe. "This'll do the trick... just... it really sucks. Seals the crack and it'll help it mend, keep it solid, but it hurts like a—" She glanced at Sweetie Belle, "—a punch in the mouth."

"Ow," Sweetie Belle said, wincing.

"Yeah," Sapphire said, holding the vial out to me. "I'd rather not do it to myself. Do you think you can do it, Jake?"

"Sure," I said, taking the vial. I took her hoof into my lap, focusing as I uncorked the vial. I tilted it, noting how it flowed slowly, like syrup, and I held it over the crack in her hoof. "Deep breath. Here we go." Sapphire took a breath and looked away, and I held her wrist firmly as I poured the brown liquid over the crack. It seeped in immediately, and Sapphire's breath hitched. I held her steady even as she hissed in pain, and I ensured that I covered the whole length of the crack in her hoof, including the underside, turning it over. Her frog twitched as I rolled her hoof over, and I checked the backside of her hoof. Luckily, it didn't seem to have cracked through. Just a surface split, then. "There, done." I tapped the horseshoe on the bottom of her hoof. "Probably would have been worse without this. You're lucky."

"I don't feel lucky," Sapphire groused, pulling her hoof close to her chest and looking it over. Dusky returned, wearing a set of Night Guard armor, the glamour turning him into a nondescript sarosian, and Sapphire stood up gingerly. "I'm gonna get geared up."

I stood up. "Me too."

Sapphire and Dusky blinked. Dusky spoke up first. "Jake, you are not military. We do not have anything for your size, at any rate."

"No, you don't, but you do have something that belongs to me here in the armory," I said, moving towards the armory doors. Dusky and Sapphire shared a look, and I pointed to Dusky. "Stay with Sweetie Belle while Sapphire and I get ourselves sorted out." Dusky looked like he wanted to object, but he stayed with Sweetie Belle, leaving Sapphire to follow me into the armory.

The interior of the armory was a scene of chaos, another dozen guards arming and armoring themselves rapidly, hustling to and fro. Half-armored guards helped companions, while others were moving out the doors. Major Scope was in the middle of it, discussing with a black earth pony that had an anvil and hammer cutie mark. I knew him as the pony in charge of the armory, Gunnery Sergeant Hot Iron. Scope was finishing getting his gear on, his orange coat and red mane transforming before my eyes to the usual grey and white of the palace guard. He tucked his glasses into a special case and gave it to Gunny Iron, and turned to regard me, frowning. "Jake, you need to clear out, this is a military area."

"Absolutely,” I said, looking past him and raising my voice so that Gunny Iron could hear me. “I'm just here for my personal effects!" Hot Iron looked surprised, and Scope turned to look at him.

"What's he got in here that he needs right at this second?" Scope asked.

"He has personal weapons that are being kept here, by order of the Princess," Hot Iron said, looking at me as he spoke, "But I was told that releasing them to him required authorization."

I grimaced. "Gunny, you're killing me, here. We're getting invaded and you won't let me retrieve my stuff?"

Scope rolled his eyes. "We don't need civilians arming themselves and running off to get hurt."

"I might not be a military man, but I'll bet I've seen twice the action you have, Major Scope," I said, turning to regard the Major. "I know this isn't normal, but nothing about this is. I watched the goddamn Princesses get taken down like they were nothing. You need all the help you can get!"

Scope stiffened, eyes going wide. "You saw the Princesses?"

"Yeah. They're out of commission, all of them. Princess Luna, Princess Celestia, and Princess Cadance are all trapped in some kind of crystal stuff that their commander was throwing around, and Princess Twilight..." I grimaced. "Princess Twilight fell into one of the canals and was swept over the waterfall."

The noise around me quieted. Scope's ears pinned back as he looked up at me, and he turned.

"Keep moving! Go!" He shouted, getting everypony hustling again, and within a minute the room was clear except for the four of us. Scope glared at me. "Way to hit our morale, idiot. Corporal Spirit, can you confirm this report?"

"Yes, sir. Dusky and I saw it with our own eyes. Celestia, Luna, and Cadance are captured. Twilight is..." Sapphire's ears went flat.

I spoke up. "Listen, we don't have Princess backup coming, and we don't have the Elements of Harmony, either. They all got swept away with Twilight and went over a two-hundred foot f-fucking waterfall." I swallowed, hands clenching into fists, fighting the emotion out of my voice before I spoke again. "We're on our own. We need to handle these guys and try to... I don't know. But you're going to need every edge you can get, and that means letting me have my weapons."

"Absolutely not," Scope said, stomping a hoof. "Princesses out of commission or not, you still aren't military. Even if you have a spear in hoof, or whatever you've got, you aren't going to turn the tide single hoofed. We need unit tactics and discipline, not... mercenary lone ponies!"

"It absolutely will make a difference. Gunny, tell him what I've got. I know I showed you," I said, pointing to Hot Iron.

Hot Iron frowned. "It's a weapon from his world, sir. He calls it a pistol. It's a ranged weapon, fires small projectiles with a force and speed like the heaviest crossbows we've got."

"More powerful, even," I said. "And I can fire it faster than a crossbow. It holds fifteen shots, and it can pierce through... pretty much any type of metal armor you guys have, unless it's magically enchanted. Barring a glancing blow against very heavy armor, it'd go through any of the armor that I saw those goons outside wearing." I briefly pined for my MP5 or even one of my assault rifles, but I had been brought to Equestria while guarding a gate, so I only had my sidearm.

Scope frowned. "Not convinced. I've got spells that are just as effective."

"Major, please. What if any of those yetis break through and come down here? You expect civilian ponies to defend themselves? I can help, even if you don't want me on your front line. If things go badly, I can guarantee that I'll be able to kill anything that comes through you guys," I said evenly, looking Scope in the eye.

Scope sneered. "Kill?"

I hesitated for a moment before replying. "If I have to? Yes. It wouldn't be the first time, Major. If I'm protecting ponies, then I'll do whatever's necessary."

Scope stared at me, evenly. "... Fine. Give him his pistol, Gunnery Sergeant." As Hot Iron hustled back into the armory's lockup, Scope approached me and put a hoof into my chest, glaring up at me with intensity. "But I want you away from the fighting. We are going to handle this. The only reason I'm letting you have your weapon is because, for some reason, the Princesses trust you. If that means I can have somebody at my back keeping the civilians safe, so I can focus on the enemy in front of me, then that's as good as anything I can ask for right now."

I nodded. "Thank you, Major." Scope gave me a nod, and then trotted for the door, his voice carrying and rallying his guards. Sapphire, in the meantime, started getting armored up, and I helped her out. It was a complex procedure, but over my time in the castle, I'd learned a thing or two about the guard's armor. Professional curiosity drove me to ask questions, and so I was able to assist her, gearing her up more quickly. She took a deep breath, helmet under one foreleg, and then pulled it on. I watched her dappled coat and blue mane become grey and white as the glamour washed over her. Just another guard, once more. She gave me a stoic look.

"Thanks, Jake," she said, clutching a spear close and adjusting the heavy weighted guard shoes over her hooves. She gave a few experimental stomps, and the heavy thud of the shoe sounded like brass knuckles against concrete. She grinned, looking up at me. "I wish I'd had these earlier."

"Yeah, me too," I said, reaching up and touching the back of my head.

Hot Iron returned, bringing a leather case that I knew held my pistol, spare magazines, and my combat knife. I opened them up, retrieving the belt and holster from within, and set out my pistol, the knife and the three spare magazines. The pistol was a Glock 40, a 10mm handgun that was made for better accuracy at range. It wasn't a pretty weapon, but being able to hold fifteen rounds in the magazine plus one in the chamber meant I wouldn't need to reload as often, which was my preference. The knife was a simple affair, an eight inch long blade with a triangular shape, fatter than a normal knife, with a knuckle guard on it that was molded like brass knuckles. It was a weapon for punching and stabbing, not slashing, and the blade's design was made to do as much damage as possible and leave a large wound. I slid it into the sheath on the pistol belt, and turned my attention to the magazines.

Two of the spare magazines were completely full. The third magazine was missing the first five rounds, which had been used to demonstrate the weapon to the Princesses and donated to pony scientists for study. The magazine in the pistol was empty, and the rounds had been removed and left in a cloth bag, leaving me with fifteen loose rounds. I took my time, reloading the third magazine fully, ensuring the gun's mechanisms were still working and clean and oiled, and testing the safety to make certain it was functional. Everything was in good condition. I had three full magazines, plus my fourth magazine with ten rounds. Fifty-five shots.

I stared at the weapon and raised it, aiming up towards the ceiling and looking down the sights. I practiced the movement a few times, ensuring my skills had not dulled. Not as fast as I'd been, but still fast. I sighed, pulling on the pistol belt and moving it around, adjusting my shirt so that I could rapidly conceal the holster if necessary, and then I loaded the first full magazine. The hiss of metal and the soft click of the magazine locking into place was familiar, but the shiver it sent down my spine was not. I held the loaded pistol, looking down at it, lost in the moment. "Jake?" Sapphire's hoof touched my side gently.

"I never thought I'd need this again. I never thought I'd be here again, with a gun, ready to use it." I swallowed, and holstered the pistol. "I was ready to never have to use it again."

Sapphire stepped in front of me, giving me a sympathetic look. "This isn't your fault. Those bastards outside took our peace from us. We never want to fight, but sometimes you have to fight to protect what's important. There's no shame in using a weapon for the right reasons."

I took a breath, and nodded. "I know you're right, but..." I hesitated, and then pulled my shirt out, letting it fall over the holster and conceal the pistol. Anybody from my world would see the outline instantly, but here in this place, it wouldn't be recognized. "I'll keep it as a last resort. If that weapon comes out, creatures are dying. I... don't think I want that on my conscience, asshole yetis or not. I don't think Rarity or Twilight would... would approve." I felt my voice crack a bit and tears rose in my eyes, but I cursed and sat down, holding my face in my palms.

I could hear Sapphire blow out a sigh of relief. "I don't think so either. Save it for if things turn ugly. I'll ask Gunny Iron if he has something you can use. A truncheon or maybe a quarterstaff?"

"I'll take the club," I said, looking up at Sapphire gratefully. She smiled at me, reaching up with one wing and wiping away a tear that tracked down my cheek. The brush of feathers across my cheek brought a smirk across my face.

"We're gonna make it through this, okay? Major Scope's tough and strong. He can handle the defense, and we can hold out long enough to make a solid counter-attack and push these yetis out of Canterlot," Sapphire said with confidence. "So, get your serious face on, and let's get back out there. I'm sure Dusky and Sweetie Belle are wondering where we are."

"Yeah," I said, taking a breath. I reached out and grabbed her shoulder, stopping her before she could turn away. She gave me a curious look, and I smiled at her. "Thank you, Sapphire. Really. I don't know what I'd have done today without you and Dusky."

Sapphire giggled lightly, giving me a light shove with one hoof. "Yeah, yeah, okay. Let's save the thank-yous for after this is all over, okay?"

"Yeah," I said, getting up and wiping my eyes. Sapphire trotted over to Gunny Iron, and within a moment returned with a guard baton. It was much like the batons that police officers on my world would carry, complete with the short handle extending out from about a third of the way down the length, offering a variety of grip options. I held it in my hand, feeling the weight, getting an idea of how to use it effectively. The pistol and the knife on my belt were killer weapons, but this could be blunted easily and offered more options for restraint. It felt more appropriate... more harmonic. I tucked the baton into a loop in my belt. It sat a little awkwardly, but it would do for now.

I followed Sapphire out of the guard armory. The hallway around the armory was empty, save for one guard stationed at the very end. He was keeping civilians away from the armory and keeping it clear. Even as we stepped out, two more out-of-uniform guards rushed around the corner, heading for the armory. They looked harried, but it was a welcome sight. More guards arriving, just like Major Scope had said. Sapphire and I got to the end of the hallway and found Dusky and Sweetie Belle waiting just around the corner. Dusky was lying down, and Sweetie Belle was curled against his side. When she looked up at me, her eyes were red and puffy and her nose was running a bit. I knelt down next to her and ran a hand down her back, rubbing it gently. "Hey, Sweetie. You doing okay?"

"N-no," Sweetie Belle said, sitting up and grabbing my waist, hugging me hard and pressing her face into my chest. "I'm really worried about Rarity."

I swallowed a lump in my throat. She was in denial. That... was okay for now. We didn't have time to process. I didn't have time to explain to her that her sister was gone. I just wrapped my arms around her little frame and held her close, scooping her up and cradling her against me. She pressed her face into my neck and I let her stay there, rubbing her back as she hiccuped and sobbed into my shirt. I took deep breaths, willing myself to stay strong, but hearing Rarity’s sister weeping in my ear was eating at my resolve. I couldn’t help but think, for a moment, of the white unicorn mare that she was crying for.

What was I going to do without her? Without Twilight? I relied on them, and they gave me anchors to the harmony that they so loved and lived for. I’d spent all this time fighting, keeping myself and my three companions safe, that I hadn’t been given a moment to process what had been taken from me. I felt it keenly, now, and it left me at a loss. The two ponies most responsible for my rehabilitation and the centers of my new life had been ripped away at the hands of some unknown enemy. I grit my teeth, taking shaky breaths that bordered on sobs, and tried my best to focus my attention fully on Sweetie Belle, stroking her mane as she cried. I couldn’t lose it, not now. Not yet.

Dusky and Sapphire, meanwhile, were talking. "What's been happening?"

"Word came that the enemies are concentrating their efforts on the palace, now. The streets of Canterlot and most of the city is theirs, though there are a few little pockets resisting. The outer gatehouses are ours, but they're surrounded. The air is locked down, and there are a dozen airships keeping pegasus ponies from escaping. The last anypony saw, their commander was moving the captured Princesses here," Dusky said quietly.

"Target of opportunity?" Sapphire asked, tail lashing.

"Likely. Major Scope said he'd assess when they arrived. See if he couldn't potentially remove their command structure. If we can take her out and re-secure the Princesses, we've got a chance." Dusky and Sapphire shared a look, and then turned to me. Dusky approached, face serious. "Jake. Will you be all right here?"

I looked down at him, taking in his body language. The way his ears quivered at the sounds of battle above, the way his eyes flicked towards the stairs, the anxiety in his posture making his tail lash behind him. I pushed down my emotional turmoil and nodded, understanding immediately. "Yeah. I'll be fine here, and Major Scope needs everypony he can get."

Dusky grinned, showing me his fangs, and he tapped a shod hoof against his chestplate. "H'luun bless you, Jake."

"H'luun protect you, Dusky. Go kick some ass for me, okay?" I said, tapping my chest with a fist as well.

Dusky wasted no more time, heading for the stairs. Sapphire flashed me her fierce grin, eyes fiery. "I'll make 'em pay for Rarity, Jake. Okay? You just keep Sweetie Belle safe."

I nodded to her. "Yeah. Give them hell. Be safe." Sapphire rushed up the stairs after Dusky, wings flapping in excitement and her shod hooves stomping. I watched them go, and then slowly sat down, cradling Sweetie Belle close. "Good luck."

9b: Festival Of Friendship, Interlude

View Online

Major Scope took a slow breath as he peered around a corner pillar and into the throne room in Canterlot Castle. Just as he’d suspected, the enemy leader was here, and she had the Princesses with her. Scope took stock of Commander Tempest, examining her carefully. She moved with an assured grace and her eyes were sharp. Her horn was broken off halfway down its length, leaving a jagged edge that sparked with occasional aura discharge. He took note of the room’s set up as well, noting the position of the three princesses. Cadance, Luna, and… Celestia. Scope’s eyes lingered on his beloved regent for a moment, taking in her features frozen in a moment of terror, and he grimaced. “Don’t worry, Princess,” he muttered to himself, ducking back around the pillar and around the corner, through a doorway into a unobtrusive hidden hallway used by the castle staff. A dozen guards stood waiting for him, and he frowned at them. “It’s just her and seven of the yeti guards. She’s basically undefended. If there was ever a time, it’d be right now.”

Specialist Roads nodded, grinning a fanged Sarosian grin at him. “We’re with you, sir. What do you want us to do?”

“Draw away those guards. Try not to engage their commander. Once you pull them away, I’ll go in and take her down myself,” Scope said, gesturing to the group. “If you pull them down the hallway, that’ll leave me a clear path into the throne room. If she engages with her guard, then I’ll try to pull her away. Once you’ve mopped up those Yeti troopers, get to the throne room and secure the princesses. Even if I’m not done with Commander Tempest, you make sure to prioritize securing them and moving them down to the lower level where we’re still holding.”

“Yes, sir!” Corporal Sapphire said, looking over her shoulder. “We’ll get them separated. You go for the commander. Best of luck!”

Scope gave her a nod, and she and the rest of the troops slipped out of the side room. Sapphire herself led the group, and she was first around the corner. She pretended to panic upon seeing the room full of yeti guards, letting out a yell, and the Yetis and their commander turned as one, spotting her. Scope gave them a moment, sliding back into the side room and waiting. The sounds of his soldiers galloping away was soon followed by heavy footfalls of angry Yeti troopers, howling as they gave chase to the “fleeing” guards. Scope counted to ten, and then burst out of the hallway and rushed for the throne room.

Commander Tempest was waiting. Scope slid to a halt, drawing up short before her as she stared him down with a glower. “I was wondering if you’d show,” Tempest said, looking him over with curiosity, a cocky smirk on her face.

“Yeah, well, it might have taken a bit longer than expected, but I’m here,” Major Scope said with a snort of impatience.

“I’ve read the dossier on you. Expert unicorn fighter, specialty in beam attacks. Your reputation preceeds you,” Commander Tempest said with a chuckle, slowly stepping to the side, shifting her position to reveal more of the crystalized Princess Celestia, “... as does your weakness.”

“Weakness?” Scope replied, wondering what she was getting at. He shifted slightly as well, preparing for whatever tricks Tempest might have prepared.

“The dossier was very thorough. I do my homework. Ever-scowling, but you only smile around a certain Princess,” Tempest said, reaching with one hoof towards Princess Celestia’s frozen form.

“I don’t bucking think so,” Scope growled, and his horn lit up.

Tempest was fast, he’d have to give her that. His horn beam attacks, a line of green light, were fast, but she dodged nimbly to the side, closing the distance with a leaping dash as he shifted to track her movement. She shouldn’t have been able to be so evasive, but maybe he’d gotten slow, or maybe her implied threat towards Princess Celestia had gotten to him a bit more than he’d expected. The magical beam burned a line in the carpet and right over Tempest’s head as she dodged beneath the beam, getting on his other side.

Scope cut off his first shot, shifting his stance, and then Tempest was on him. A pirouette on her back hooves, and she struck out hard, hooves flying towards his side. He dodged, his chest armor just barely getting clipped and vibrating with the force of the glancing blow. He spun on his hoof and shot another burst right at her, only to find her leaping up and over him with an agility he didn’t anticipate.

Scope used a burst of magic to throw himself out of the way of a downward bicycle kick, the force of the blow cutting the air right next to him. He rolled to one side, sliding and kipping up to his hooves, and set a much shorter series of burst shots from his horn. Tempest dodged left-right-left, her evasiveness continuing to surprise him, but one shot got through, scorching her armor. She ignored the hit, growling and leaping again, her hooves catching him in the chest. He reared back and blocked with his forehooves, and suddenly both ponies were on their hind legs, balanced and boxing.

Tempest was fast, having adapted to fighting without nuanced spells or use of her horn. Scope realized that in a close combat fight, he’d be at a disadvantage, even with all of his various combat spells. He needed to keep her back and stay out of her reach. He grit his teeth and used another burst of telekinesis to launch himself back, sliding on his rear hooves for a few yards before dropping back to all fours and sending another concentrated beam at Tempest. She dodged low, and this time she launched one of those black orbs at him. He shifted the beam in the nick of time, destroying the orb and releasing the petrifying green magic inside with a puff like smoke.

She exploded through the green mist, catching him off guard. Scope had to duck a savage roundhouse kick that would have probably knocked him out cold and backpedal to create distance. Tempest didn’t give him much opportunity, and this time she managed a solid strike, a one-two hoof punch that sent Scope reeling as his armor literally dented. He snarled, and Tempest paused to grin a toothy grin. “Ready to give up, old stallion?”

“Old age and treachery beat youth and skill,” Scope spat back, launching his hastily prepared spell. This magical shot was a wide burst, meant to stun or drive back an opponent. Tempest tried to duck, realizing a moment too late that it was a wide area blast. She was driven back with a grunt, her horn sparking with magic overflow as her body shuddered.

Scope pressed the advantage, shooting a stronger beam at the enemy commander as she staggered. Another black orb was produced from that damn hip pouch, and launched to intercept the burst. The beam of magic struck the grenade and it broke apart with another chartreuse puff of smoke, but the particles contained within the orb dissipated the beam, rendering it useless. Two more orbs followed, and Scope had enough presence of mind to blast one and dodge the other. They kept coming, now, putting Scope on the defensive as he worked to take down the grenades. “Point defense… you won’t get through with something like that!” Scope growled, scowling.

“Won’t I?” Tempest’s voice came from his left flank, outside of where he’d expected based on the trajectory of the grenades.

Scope wheeled and launched a desperate burst of magic, a wide area that struck Tempest even as she leapt at him. Commander Tempest pushed through the pain, her horn flaring violently, and she delivered a solid kick to Scope’s hip.

Scope cried out as his leg buckled and he was sent flying by the force, sliding along the ground. He didn’t bother trying to stand as he slid, he just resumed firing bursts and blasts, every configuration he could think of. “Pattern Delta. Pattern Theta. Pattern Omega!”

Beams, bursts, and blasts of magic in different shapes and patterns shot from his horn, driving Tempest back as she was forced to dodge and dive away. Only when she took cover behind the statues of the captured Princesses did Scope’s barrage relent. “Ah ah, careful, Major. We wouldn’t want a friendly fire incident, would we?”

Scope snarled. “Cowardly.”

“Tactical,” Tempest countered with a laugh.

Scope got to his hooves carefully, limping slightly from the hit to the flank. “You can’t hide forever. I’ll get an angle on you,” he hissed, stepping to the side, tracking his opponent through the haze of green smoke and dissipating magical energy.

“Perhaps I underestimated you, Major Scope,” Tempest called out from behind the statues.

Scope scowled harder. “I hate it when bad guys say that.”

“Because I’m quite sure…” Tempest leapt up from over the statue of Princess Luna suddenly, high into the air, “...you’ve underestimated me!”

Scope wasn’t ready for the blast of magic that spat from her horn and slammed into his chest, the unstable mana overcharging and exploding like a firework. He let out a grunt as he was blown back as another strike hit him in the side, sending him crashing to the ground. He growled, shooting burst after burst at Tempest, striking her armor, her hooves, even her face once. The hornless unicorn mare let out a scream of anger and pain, pouncing on him.

He rolled to his side and managed to get his hooves under him, but she was on him. He moved to block, his forehoof greaves getting battered as he defended like a boxer, stepping back, retreating under her attacks. A hoof slipped through, striking his barrel, and he grunted. He lashed out, punching Tempest across her jaw, but she snarled through the hit and replied with a hop-step back and a roundhouse kick that slammed into his forehooves and literally shattered his armor.

Scope let out a grunt as the pain hit him, his forehooves going limp. He replied with a blast of full-power mana beam, cutting through Tempest’s chest plate. Tempest rolled to the side, her armor literally tearing off her as Scope’s magical beam cut it open like a tin can, and she jumped into a overhead bicycle kick that slammed, full-force, into the top of Scope’s head.

Scope felt more than heard his helmet crumple, because his ears were ringing and his vision was doubled. Tempest landed in front of him, unsteady on her hooves, her coat smoking where his beam had burnt her. Major Scope landed on his forelegs, which crumpled immediately, rendered totally numb from the strike they’d absorbed. He blinked hard, his vision stinging as blood trickled from his brow and into his eyes. Tempest straightened up slowly, staring at him as he lay on his side.

“The dossier didn’t lie. You were good,” she said, breathing hard.

Scope wanted very badly to say something witty in reply, but the ringing in his ears and the sparks in his vision were making it hard. “B-buck you,” was all he managed.

Tempest chuckled. “In another life, perhaps. But today?”

Her hoof lashed out, and Major Scope’s head snapped back from the force of the uppercut. His eyes rolled back and the scowl finally was replaced by a slack-jawed unconsciousness. Tempest caught the older unicorn before he hit his head on the stone floor, and lowered him to the ground. She reached up and pulled his helmet off, briefly inspecting the head wound, and casting a critical eye over his horn. It was a minor cut, just bleeding as head wounds were wont to do, and his horn was undamaged. She nodded to herself, satisfied she hadn’t accidentally killed the other unicorn.

“Sleep well, Major, and dream of sunny flanks.” She straightened up as two Yeti soldiers returned to the room, gargling their yeti language at her. “Escaped? I don’t want excuses, I want this resistance put down! Ugh, do I have to do everything myself?! Get this one into a cage, and fetch me some fresh armor! I’ve got rats to hunt.”

9c: Festival Of Friendship, Part 2

View Online

Down in the hallways in the lower levels of the castle, the flow of incoming ponies had slowed to a halt. I sat quietly with Sweetie Belle, keeping one eye on her and the other on the disposition of the guards coming back from the upper levels. The day was dragging into late evening, and the magical torches shifted to a brighter hue. The Armory was a solidly defensible position, and the guards had been holding it valiantly. Occasionally, a group of guards would return from the upper level, sporting fresh injuries, faces stoic. I could almost smell the worry radiating from them, though.

Sweetie Belle stuck to my side, watching the guards as well. As one limped past, she pressed a little closer to my side and whispered in my ear. “Do you think they’re going to win?”

I rested a hand comfortingly on her shoulder. “I’m sure they’re doing their best,” I replied. It was a non-answer, and Sweetie seemed to know it, but she gave a nod, turning her green eyes away from the guard and looking at me.

“I hope Applebloom and Scootaloo are okay. And everypony else,” she said quietly, trying not to disturb the nearby guards who were resting, having just rotated out from the fighting on the upper levels.

Whatever was happening up above, it was tough and tight quarters fights, and they were rotating groups of guards up more and more often, and less and less were coming back down to rest. The ones that had returned most recently were looking battered, armor damaged and limbs bandaged. I took in their state and frowned to myself, but tried to focus on Sweetie Belle. “I’m sure they’re okay. Big Mac and the Apple family are a bunch of tough folk. I can’t imagine them letting anything happen to your friends.”

Sweetie nodded, letting out a sigh. “I know. I just… I know we need to hold out. Rarity and all her friends will come to help us, once they have a plan. It always takes them a while to make a good plan, but they’ve never… not come through,” she said, her small smile uncertain.

I didn’t know what to say to that. I’d watched them go off a massive waterfall. Even if they’d somehow survived, the likelihood that they’d be in any shape to mount a rescue was slim. Rainbow Dash and maybe Fluttershy could have flown out of the water, Twilight could have teleported or flew. Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rarity, though? They didn’t have such luxury of easy escapes. I took a slow breath. “Yeah. We just have to hold out,” I agreed. The words felt hollow, even as I spoke them. “We can stay here and… maybe find a way to help the guardponies. They’ve been fighting this whole time to keep us safe, we can find things to do to help them, too.”

Sweetie Belle perked up at that. “Hey, yeah, you’re right. We can help!” Her green eyes got a little of that familiar sparkle back into them, the sadness pushed back by the idea of being useful. I remembered her cutie mark, how part of her special talent was helping others, and realized I’d found the perfect thing to help keep her occupied.

I stood up, brushing off my pants and adjusting my pistol’s holster into a more comfortable position. “Let’s go ask Gunnery Sergeant Iron what we can do to help.”

I strode down the corridor, Sweetie following close. As we moved back towards the armory proper, the situation shifted before my eyes. The ponies deeper in the more protected sections of the armory were the more badly injured ones, and a makeshift field hospital had been set up in the central armory area. A few pony medics hustled about, doing their best to mend injuries and care for hurt guards. Gunny Iron was at the center of it, issuing commands and doling out gear as guards returned and rotated back into the fight. His voice was a sharp bark, “Get me two new sets of greaves, the heavy ones. We’ve got sets to mend, get on that! I need more spear tips and hafts to replace these busted ones, bring me everything we’ve got!”

I approached him. “Gunnery Sergeant Iron?”

Gunny Iron glanced up from a spear shaft that he was affixing a new point to. “I don’t have a lot of time here, Jake.”

“We want to help,” I explained, gesturing to myself and Sweetie Belle. The Gunny paused, looking up properly and taking us in.

“I… don’t know. Do you know any medical stuff?” he asked, frowning thoughtfully, eyes going between myself and Sweetie.

“A bit. I’ve had to help with injuries before,” I replied.

“I know basic first aid! I took a course in it trying to get a medical cutie mark,” Sweetie added on, smiling. “It’s really come in handy a lot more than I’d have thought, honestly. My friends and I used to end up crashing into trees or getting stuck in brambles a lot more than you’d expect.”

The Gunny and I exchanged a look, and then he blew out a slow breath. “Yeah, I could use some help, but… listen, young filly, I’m just worried—”

Sweetie spoke up before he could finish. “I know what’s going on. I’m not a blank flank! Rarity is my sister, I’ve seen a lot more monsters and crazy fights than you’d probably guess! I can help,” she pleaded, eyes wide, “so don’t just treat me like a foal. I know I’m young, but I can be helpful!”

Gunny Iron paused, taking stock of Sweetie Belle again, and he straightened up a bit. “Okay. We need somepony to help the medics, and there’s lots of minor injuries that could benefit from some first aid knowledge. Non-critical stuff, but still needing attention. Go ask Silver Shield over there if he has some low-priority triage ponies that could use some help.”

Sweetie Belle nodded, face serious. It would have been really cute, but the circumstances made it feel solemn. “Aye aye, Gunny!” She did a really adorable salute—nothing could diminish how cute that was—and trotted off after one of the pony medics.

Once she was out of earshot, I stepped forward. “What’s the situation, Gunny?”

Gunny Iron shook his head. “Bad. At this rate, we’re going to be forced to rotate up more injured ponies, and the longer that goes on, the worse it’s going to get. It’s a damn miracle that nopony has been killed yet, but there’ve been some really close calls.”

I bit my lower lip. Damn. “That’s bad.”

The Gunny chuckled. “That’s not the worst of it. We’re getting pushed back. We’ve been able to recover any downed guards as we’ve given ground, but we’re running out of ground to give. They’ve got enough yetis up there that they can keep the pressure up, and we haven’t regained anything in the last few hours. We’re going to be fighting on the steps to the armory halls at this rate. Our backs are to the wall, Jake.”

I glanced down at my front, at the hidden gun there. Fifty five shots. With good aim and the element of surprise, that could gain back a lot of ground. “I could go up. I’ve got my gun.” The Gunny had seen it in action, knew its capabilities. “They don’t have the kind of armor that could stand up to 10mm. I could really cause problems for them.”

Gunnery Sergeant Irons took a long look at me, considering what I’d said. He glanced around the room at the hurt ponies. “I… Jake, I don’t know. The fighting might be rough, but so far we’ve kept our casualties to a minimum because we haven’t been encouraging any kind of drastic measures. We aren’t going for kills up there, just pushing back, holding ground, and the yetis, for all their ferocity, have obviously been told to take prisoners rather than stack bodies,” he said quietly, looking back into my eyes, “Once that tenuous balance shifts, if we start killing them… they might not feel so generous anymore.”

I nodded. That made sense. “What’s the alternative, though? We have to shift the balance, otherwise they’re going to win.”

“Jake, they already won. What we’re doing here is tying down as many of them as possible and hoping against hope that something will change. Maybe if we can keep the brunt of their force here in the palace, it’ll buy time for more ponies to escape, or one of the other guard units to break through, or reinforcements from other cities to arrive. We are buying time, not aiming to win,” Gunny Irons said quietly. “We all know we aren’t winning.”

I blanched at the admission of the dire situation, trying to come to terms with the fact that this was a losing fight. “Damn, Gunny. I didn’t realize it was that bad.”

“It’s been that bad since Major Scope got captured trying to free the princesses. We’ve made a few more attempts at the room where they’re keeping the princesses prisoner, but they’ve basically just been wastes of resources. They’ve got that room guarded and we’ve had more injuries trying to get there than anywhere else. They know they’ve got us by the fetlocks, here,” Gunny replied, ears going flat and tail lashing in irritation. He paused our conversation to bark some orders at incoming guards. “Triage those ponies! Get them organized, non-critical there, critical there! And get me any sets of armor that have been patched, we need to replace those bodies on the line. Move!”

“Well… what can I do, then?” I asked, looking around with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. All these ponies, all the guards, were putting their lives on the line simply to buy time. Ponies and their extreme notion of hope in the face of adversity… it was a sobering thing, today.

Gunny Iron looked around, eyes settling on Sweetie Belle. He smiled as he watched her, chatting with a guard as she put a bandage around a cut. “That filly… that’s Rarity’s sister, right?”

“Yeah,” I said, looking towards her. She was humming a little song, and the guards nearby were smiling, putting on brave faces for her as she tended to their hurts.

“Jake, if… if they’re still alive, somehow, you’ve gotta keep her safe. We’re going to be overrun here, soon. Either they’ll break through or we’ll be forced to surrender because we’re out of able-bodied ponies. And that filly is a weak point that those nasty yetis and their boss won’t hesitate to exploit, if they figure out she’s attached to one of the Elements of Harmony,” he said, lips settling into a firm line of determination. “It isn’t safe here anymore, and every minute you wait, it’ll get worse. We need to get her out of here.”

I tore my gaze away from Sweetie Belle and looked at Gunny Iron. The stalwart pony looked grim, his eyes following the young filly. “So far they haven’t been doing anything bad to prisoners. Just rounding folks up. I’m worried that that might change. There are a lot of civilians here, Jake. We need to try and get them out before our lines collapse,” he said, looking away and meeting my eye. “I have ponies in mind for the job, too. All of these guards that are resting, they’re close enough to fresh that they could be helpful in breaking out these poor ponies, and when they go, you’ll go with them.”

“I want Corporal Spirit and Specialist Roads with me,” I said immediately. “I trust them with my life, but moreso, I trust them to prioritize Sweetie over me.” My voice was firm.

Gunny Iron frowned. “They’re real flank-kickers, Jake. I’m not sure I can spare them.”

“You’re gonna have to figure out what’s more important, then. Buying time here, or getting these civilian ponies out before it’s too late.”

Gunny Iron’s ears went flat and he let out an exasperated snort. “Buck. This is why I never went for a command spot.”

I couldn’t help but smile at the Gunny. “Yeah, well, tough break, the rest of the top brass got themselves captured or got caught with their pants around their ankles… or whatever the pony equivalent of that is.”

Gunny Iron smirked ruefully, tail lashing. “Damn Scope for leaving me in charge.”

“For what it’s worth, you’ve been doing a good job, as far as I can tell. It’s organized here, and the chaos isn’t too bad.” I was right, too. For all the hopelessness of the situation, The Gunny was like a calm spot in the center of the storm. The ponies all looked to him, guards and civilians alike, for how to respond to the situation, but Gunny Iron was cool and collected.

“Yeah. It’s just barely manageable. Can’t let ‘em see ya sweat,” he grumbled, wiping a hoof across his forelock and brushing it back out of his eyes. “Okay. We’ll get you your ponies, plus any other half-able-bodies to help. They won’t be much for keeping the line held, but they know how to herd ponies. You just get ready to go when we say so.”

I breathed in an anxious breath. I hadn’t felt like this in so long, and for the first time, I had more than just me to worry about. I couldn’t help but look back at Sweetie Belle, who noticed my gaze and gave me a small wave before she returned to helping a soldier tighten a sling around a hurt foreleg. I wished, not for the last time, that Rarity was here to see her sister. She was an incredible young filly. I found my fists had clenched and I took a moment to unclench them, turning away from Gunny. “Yeah. I’ll be ready.”

“Good,” Gunny said, before he stepped away, going to oversee what needed to be done to make things as orderly as possible for a break-out attempt with the civilian ponies.

“Hey, Jake, can you help me over here?” Sweetie called out.

It had been almost two hours, during which time Sweetie and I had been working to help the medics with injured ponies. Mostly they kept us to those guards that were lower priority, the ones that didn’t need a limb to be set or a bad wound to be stitched or magicked together. We dealt with bad bruises, cuts, a lot of scrapes, and a variety of other non-critical injuries. The room was getting more full, as the barely injured returned to the front and became the badly injured on their return. It was getting desperate and even I could tell. The chatter from before was getting quieter, and the sounds of fighting were getting closer.

I moved over to Sweetie Belle’s side, kneeling down to check over the guard she’d wanted help with. “What’s up, Sweetie?”

“I think his shoulder is dislocated. I’m not sure how to help, but he’s in a lot of pain,” Sweetie said, pointing out the guard, who held his limb up and tight to his barrel. He was sweating and shaking, eyes closed tight as his breath came in sharp pants.

I frowned, looking over the pony carefully. “Yeah, I think you’re right. I don’t know how to relocate a pony shoulder, though. Medic!”

One of the medic ponies looked up from another soldier, grimacing. “You’ll have to handle it! We’re all busy with critical patients.”

“Damn,” I muttered. “I really don’t know what to do, Sweetie,” I said, turning my attention to the filly, who looked a bit more distressed for not being able to help. “Do you have any more painkillers or anything?”

“I’m out, and the medics said they can’t give me any more,” Sweetie said, reaching a hoof out to gently pat the hurting soldier on the side. “Hey, hang in there, okay? They’ll be coming to help really soon.”

“T-thanks,” the soldier said, wincing one eye open to look at Sweetie and I. The stallion was young, just a few years older than Sweetie Belle, and the similarity in age made a shiver go down my spine. A little shift in ability, a bit of a different life path, and it could have been Sweetie shaking on the floor with a dislocated shoulder from fighting. I found my hand going to Sweetie’s shoulder and resting there, trying to comfort her as she fretted over the hurt guard pony.

There was a commotion outside of the armory, and the Gunny came bustling in, at the head of another group of ponies. There were about ten of them, all sporting bandages and looking a bit worse for wear. Among them were two familiar faces, and I felt a rushing sense of relief as I saw Corporal Sapphire Spirit and Specialist Dusky Roads among the ponies coming in.

Gunny Iron made a direct line to me, expression firm. “We’re out of time. This is the crew that’s going to help you and the other civilians get out of here. The yetis are probably going to break through inside the hour, and we’re down to our last few ponies able to hold them back. I’m going to try and parley with whoever is in charge, see if I can’t negotiate terms for our injured and get an orderly surrender in place. It’s dark now, and it’s your best chance to get out safely, while I’m talking to their leader.”

I swallowed hard, my hand on Sweetie’s shoulder pressing her in a little closer to my side. “Okay. This is it, huh?”

The Gunny nodded. “Yep. This is the best I can give you. I’d hoped… well. Doesn’t matter what I’d hoped,” he said, chuckling to himself. He turned to address the gathered guards. “Ponies, we’re going to try and get these civilians out of here. Round up anypony that can’t carry a spear and get them grouped up by the East Hall Escape Path. Specialist Roads, you’re the right pony for the job, we need you scouting ahead, using that sarosian skill with the shadows to help find the clearest path for our charges.”

Dusky saluted, eyes firm and tail stiff. “Of course, Gunnery Sergeant.”

“Corporal Spirit, stick with our VIPs. You know who.”

Sapphire nodded, moving to stand beside us. “I won’t let anything happen to them, Gunny.”

“Damn right, you won’t. You’ve been fretting like a mother hen separated from her chicks since you got here,” Gunny Iron said with a chuckle.

Sapphire’s eyes darted to Sweetie and I and her cheeks reddened slightly. “All due respect, Gunny, shut up.”

“The rest of you, pair up with two or three civilians each. Keep them safe. Getting them out of the city is priority one. If you can’t escape, evade capture at all costs. We don’t need to give these stinky yetis more hostages. Understood?” Gunny barked.

“Yes, Gunnery Sergeant!” the soldiers said in unison.

“Good. Let’s get this done. Princesses watch over you, my brave ponies,” Gunny said with a crisp salute, which was returned by everypony.

The next few minutes were chaotic, as guards grabbed resting, terrified civilians and grouped them together, assigning them to a minder to help watch over them. By the time things were organized, we had about twenty civilian ponies paired up with eight guards, Sapphire with Sweetie and I, and Dusky leading the way down a side passage. The passage went down into the foundations of the castle, and deeper than that, into caves that were half-carved tunnels, and half natural formations. We all kept quiet, the seriousness of the situation paramount in everypony’s minds. I stuck close to Sweetie Belle, my hand on her back, making sure I knew where she was at all times.

Sapphire was flank to hip with me at all times, her eyes sharp and ready for anything. I’d never seen her in full guard mode, but it was a surprising shift from the goofball, high-spirited mare that I knew to this steely-eyed soldier. It was a welcome surprise, though. She was trained and ready, and I trusted her to help me keep Sweetie Belle safe.

Parts of the tunnel were pitch black, with no magical or mundane lights, but none of the unicorns lit their horns, just following Dusky forward as the sarosian used his superior night vision to guide us. “The less magic and noise we make, the better,” Dusky had said before we’d left, setting the precedent that had been followed until now.

Ahead, Dusky stopped moving, his larger ears twitching, and he held up a hoof. “We’re at the exit to the tunnel. I need a unicorn up here.”

One of the guards stepped forward, horn lighting up. The dark tunnel was revealed, heavy stone blocks forming the walls and an iron door at one end with a strange hole in the center. Dusky pointed to the door. “Horn lock. Just a little magic in it should open it. A smart failsafe from an older time.”

The unicorn guard nodded. “I guess those old snooty unicorns were good for something,” he muttered, pushing his horn into the lock. There was a little sparkle of magic, and then a click as the door’s lock disengaged.

Specialist Dusky gave the unicorn a pat on the shoulder. “Good work, friend. Let’s discover what awaits us in the city, hm?” The group collectively drew back from the door, and Dusky carefully reached forward and pushed the iron door open. The hinges gave a brief squeak of protest, and then the sarosian slipped out into the darkness beyond. He was gone for almost a full minute before he returned, eyes glowing in the dark.

“Well, it wasn’t ever going to be easy,” he muttered, before he ushered us all outside. “Keep quiet.”

I let half of the group go ahead, before Sapphire and Sweetie and I moved forward and out into the night. Canterlot was ablaze with lights, the whole town still brightly lit for the festival, but it was more than just that: the airships overhead had searchlights on, and were scanning the city below. Further out, I could see packs of yeti soldiers carrying torches or magic lights, searching around for hiding creatures. Damn. I could feel Sweetie press closer to me, and I gave her back a light pat, trying to reassure her. Dusky and the other soldiers looked into the town from the secret exit, planning their next move. “I can see lights in the gatehouses. There’s yeti flags on the poles. We… probably will need to hide in the city. I don’t think we can get out,” Dusky said, somewhat dejectedly.

I stepped forward. “Why not stay here in the tunnel?”

“They’ll find it soon enough, there aren’t any doors between here and the armory. We need to find somewhere to hide, preferably big enough to fit all these ponies, but failing that we can split into small groups and try our luck separately,” Dusky explained.

“No way. We’ve got ten fighting ponies here, Dusky. We’ll be stronger together,” Sapphire objected, wings flaring out a bit.

“We’ll be more easy to spot as a large group. Who is the infiltration specialist, Corporal?” Dusky asked, ears laying flat and tail lashing.

Sapphire bit back a retort, bowing her head and folding her wings at her side. “Sorry, Dusky.”

Dusky smiled a toothy grin at her. “Nothing to be sorry for, Sapphire. I have a few ideas. There’s some older houses in this area that have good solid basements. We could hole up there. There’s also a few shops that have upper floors. Pegasai and civilian fliers should go for those, or maybe try to fly out and over the wall where there’s less guards… but for us ground-pounders, escape isn’t the way.”

The three pegasus guards gathered together, discussing options, and then one stepped up. “Specialist Roads, we’re going to try for the wall. The more ponies we can get free, the better. We’ll take all the pegasus civilians we can.” There were seven pegasus civilians, but one refused to leave his partner, an earth pony. That left six, plus the three guards.

Dusky smiled. “H’luun guide you all.” He tapped a salute to the pegasai, and the group of fliers took off into the night sky, flying from rooftop to rooftop. Dusky turned his attention to the rest of the civilians and soldiers. Fourteen civilians, now, plus two unicorn guards and two earth pony guards, and Sapphire, who had stuck with Sweetie and I.

Dusky looked to the remaining group with care. “We need to move. Basements? Or is there somewhere else you have in mind? Sapphire, you know Canterlot better than I do, I don’t go out as much as you.”

I stepped forward. “I know a spot.”

Sapphire and Dusky turned to regard me. “What did you have in mind?”

I smirked. “I’m sure this will be a fun surprise.”

We stood in an alleyway, deeper in the heart of occupied Canterlot. The streets were abandoned except for the occasional scurrying pony or yeti patrol, and it was an eerie sight. I’d come to enjoy both the daytime liveliness and bustling nightlife of Canterlot: they both had their charms. This was different. It was like walking through a tomb, the haze of fear clinging to every cobblestone and pressing against your heart. It was hard to see the city I’d lived in reduced to such a state. I stopped, pointing across the street. “There’s our destination.”

Sapphire and Dusky stepped up next to me and they stared for a moment at the building. They shared a look, and then both turned to glare at me. Sapphire spoke up, “Jake, I swear to Celestia, if this is your idea of a joke, it’s the least funny one you’ve ever made, and you’ve told some real stinkers.”

“I have to agree with Corporal Spirit’s assessment. To elaborate: Jake, what the buck?!”

Across the street was Doughnut Joe’s Coffee Shop.

The canterlot ponies familiar with the place grumbled in confusion, and a few of the guards even looked askance at me. I smirked. “I told you I’m their favorite regular customer, right? And how I tip about 30% every time I come through?”

“What does that have to do with anything?!” Sapphire hissed, trying to keep quiet, her ears flat and tail lashing. “I should be slapping you right now!”

I backed up a step, holding my hands up. “I promise, this isn’t a joke. Doughnut Joe told me that they don’t have any overhead space to store their food or other stuff, so they have to keep it beneath the cafe in an old canterlot cellar. And the cellar has had a few renovations from a previous owner… namely… a secret room beneath the cafe!”

Sapphire and Dusky blinked, staring at me with surprise. “A secret room?”

“Yeah! I’ve seen it, Joe took me down there once. It was probably supposed to be some secret treasure room or something, but Joe just uses it for keeping all his coffee beans and dry goods fresh. It’s much cooler down there than anywhere else in the cafe, but without needing a dedicated fridge just for the dry goods,” I explained quickly, hoping to shift their ire to wonder at the sneaky secret of Joe’s Cafe.

Sweetie Belle finally spoke up from beside me, eyes wide with wonder. “Doughnut Joe has a secret underground lair?”

“It’s more of a secret underground pantry,” I said with a chuckle.

“That’s so cool…” Sweetie said, eyes fixed on the diner now.

The rest of the group’s grumbling grew quiet as they realized how useful a secret room could be. I felt a self-satisfied smirk cross my features, before I heard the clatter of clawed feet and heavy footfalls approaching. I flattened myself against the wall of the alley. A group of Yetis walked down the main avenue, a pony or two in chains in tow. I grimaced and put a hand on Sapphire as she pressed hard against me. I could feel her coat bristle in anger as she watched the captive ponies pass by, but she didn’t move. She knew that taking down a patrol so close to our intended hiding spot could only draw attention.

The yeti patrol passed, and I let out a slow breath. Sapphire stepped away, looking at Dusky. Dusky nodded to the group. “Let’s go.”

Dusky went first, moving across the road, his armored hoofsteps quiet, and made a direct run for the front door. He tried the handle, but the usually-inviting door didn’t budge. He glanced around and then gestured for us to wait, and he crept around the other side of the cafe. We sat quietly, waiting for his signal. Sweetie took a small step closer to me, obviously scared, and Sapphire reached out with one wing protectively, folding it over Sweetie’s back in a comforting gesture. Sweetie looked to the dappled pegasus with gratitude, ears going flat. Sapphire said nothing, her eyes on the road and ears perked, listening for signs of danger.

“What’s taking him so long,” hissed one of the civilian ponies from somewhere in the group.

“Shh,” Sapphire shushed, holding up a hoof and pointing.

Dusky was back, coming from around the side of the building. He checked the street and then gestured for us to come to him. We moved in groups, Sweetie and Sapphire and I out in front, the rest following with their assigned guardsponies. We all made it around the side of the cafe safely, not drawing attention. The back exit of Doughnut Joe’s was open, and I ushered Sweetie inside, stepping quickly to clear the door and get out of the way for the rest. I almost bumped right into a familiar stallion in the dark kitchen, suppressing a yelp as I backpedaled. Joe smirked at me, “Well, Jake, showed up at a bad time for a cuppa coffee.”

“Joe!” I couldn’t help it, I gave the old stallion a hug. He squeezed right back, a wry grin splitting his face.

“Glad you’re safe. It’d be bad business to lose my number two customer.”

Sapphire approached, giving Joe a hug from the side. “Joe! You’re okay!”

Joe’s grin widened. “I guess all it takes for a stallion to get a little attention around here is an invading army. Where were all the hugs after the changelings, huh?”

Sapphire snorted, pushing away from him, and we shared a chuckle. Behind us, the rest of the ponies and guards had entered, cramming into the kitchen. Joe surveyed the group, his expression growing more serious. “That’s a fair few ponies. It’s okay, we’ve got just about enough room. Come on, everypony,” he said, speaking up a bit to be heard, “head on downstairs. Marge is down there, she’ll help get ya settled.”

He opened a small side door in the kitchen, revealing a set of stone stairs going down, and ushered the group onward. I stayed to the side, letting the civilian ponies head down while I waited for Dusky to join us. The rest of the guardsponies stayed at the top of the stairs, grouping together. Joe paused, looking at the guards, and gave them a solemn nod. “I’ll check on the folks downstairs. You ponies need anything, you let me know. Coffee and grub is on the house.”

Sapphire smiled gratefully at Joe. “Thanks. We’re just going to talk up here, try to get a plan in place.”

Joe smirked. “I figured as much. Knowing you heroes, you won’t want to stay out of the action.”

Sapphire and Dusky shared a look with the rest of the guards, and she cleared her throat. “Yeah. We’ll see.”

Joe took the hint and headed downstairs, leaving Sweetie Belle and I as the only civilians in the group. Sapphire looked at me with a small frown. “I’m guessing I won’t be able to tell you to head downstairs.”

“Got it in one,” I said with a smirk, sitting down on the floor of the kitchen. Sweetie leaned against me, her ears drooping. She looked exhausted, and I didn’t blame her. She wasn’t the only one; I was feeling frayed and tired as well.

Sapphire stepped away from the guards as they started to talk quietly, approaching me. “Jake… you need to rest. You’re exhausted, and so is Sweetie Belle. You need to take care of yourself.”

I glanced over at Sweetie Belle, and she looked up at me, smiling a tired smile. “Don’t worry about me, Jake! I’m…” she yawned, and blushed with embarrassment, “I-i’m okay, oh, s-sorry.”

I chuckled. “You’re too cute to be true, kiddo,” I said, ruffling her mane affectionately, making her scrunch her muzzle.

Sapphire gave me a pointed look, and I let out a sigh. “Yeah, you’re right.” I let out a grunt as I stood up. “Come on, Sweetie Belle. Let’s go downstairs and see if we can’t get a snack and a nap. Probably in that order.”

“I don’t think we can do it in a different order. Unless somepony feeds us while we sleep,” Sweetie said with a tired giggle.

“If we’re not careful, we might end up falling asleep in our food,” I joked, happy for the slightly lighter mood. I stopped at the top of the stairs, turning to regard Sapphire. She looked over her shoulder at me, her head tilting questioningly. I looked for the words to say, but all that I managed was, “Be careful, okay?”

She gave me a wink. “Don’t worry about us. You rest up.”

I was a little frustrated to be left out of whatever plans they were making, but Sapphire was right… as usual. I was tired, Sweetie was tired, and we needed rest. It was pointless to get into something with the guardsponies when my job was to watch over Sweetie Belle.

Down at the bottom of the stairs was a large storage room, filled with boxes of produce and hay and the other various necessities of a working restaurant. Ponies had shifted things around the storage area, creating space for themselves to sit or lie down. Marge was there, the older mare marching between the groups and checking in on them, making sure they were comfortable. She spotted Sweetie Belle and I and shot us a bright smile. “Hey, there ya are, Jake. I was worried the yetis had got ya.”

“It’ll take more than some hairy goons to keep me from my coffee, Marge,” I quipped back, walking over to the pony and crouching down to accept a hug from her. She hung on a little longer than normal, really giving me a moment of fuzzy warmth. I leaned into her, grateful for the small show of support. “How’s things down here?”

Marge broke the hug, looking around at the gathered ponies. “About as okay as you’d expect. It was a slow day, what with the festival, but when those airships showed up, we knew what was what. Ever since the Changelings, we’ve had a little plan for emergencies. We shoved the few customers we had down here, locked up the shop and turned out the lights. Better safe than sorry, and we’d’a been awfully sorry if we hadn’t. Next thing ya know, yetis!” She shook her head, looking exasperated. “So, we’ve been down here laying low. Didn’t expect you to bring so many folks along, but we had a little bet going that you’d show up sooner or later.”

I chuckled. “A bet?”

“Joe said first thing in the morning, since you wouldn’t wanna miss a cup of coffee. I guessed a day later, what with you and your gal Rarity needin’ to save the world an’ all that.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, even if I felt a pit in the bottom of my stomach. “Well, you were both off. Does that mean I win?”

Margarine snorted. “You wish. Now, who is this cute little filly?”

I remembered my manners, looking over to Sweetie Belle, who was watching Marge with interest. “Sweetie Belle, this is Margarine. You can call her Marge. Marge, this is Sweetie Belle, Rarity’s little sister.”

Marge grinned, trotting over to Sweetie Belle and giving her a big hug as well. “Sweetie Belle! Welcome to the cafe. Have you eaten, hun?”

Sweetie found herself being squeezed by the older mare, and she giggled softly. “Oh, um, no.”

Marge smiled, releasing the younger filly. “I’ll go rustle you up something. You like apples?”

“Yes ma’am!”

“Course ya do! Let me grab you a few. Jake, you want some?”

I wished for something a little heartier, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. “Sure. Got anything extra? I could use a little more than fruit.”

“We’ve got the leftovers from Taco Tuesday, actually. Will that do ya?”

“Sure, Marge.”

Marge returned in moments with a bag of apples and a half-full bag of tortillas. She hustled the two of us over to a corner, tucking us in between some bags of oats and flour. “Here ya go, kids. We’ll get a tab going,” she said with a wink.

I laughed, sitting down gratefully and taking the bag of tortillas. “Thank you, Marge.”

“Thank you, Marge!” Sweetie said, grabbing an apple from the bag and biting into it with relish.

Marge went to check in on the other ponies, leaving Sweetie Belle and I to our little meal. I rolled up two of the tortillas and just ate them plain, happy for anything. Sweetie Belle leaned on me as she downed an apple, core and all, and ate a tortilla to go with it. She and I just ate silently, happy for the feeling of safety and the quiet of the cellar.

Sweetie spoke up after a minute. “Jake, didn’t you say there was a secret room?”

I smiled. “Yeah, it’s further in the basement, over there,” I said, pointing towards a conspicuous brick wall further back.

“Cool,” Sweetie murmured, leaning harder against me. I glanced down at her and noticed how her eyes were drooping, and her head was nodding slightly as she fought against sleep.

I leaned over a bit, resting against the bags of oats, and pulled Sweetie into my lap. She let out a squeak of surprise, but then leaned against my chest, resting her head on my shoulder. She pressed her soft nose against my neck. “Thank you, Jake,” she whispered.

“What for?” I said softly.

“For… taking care of me,” she said, yawning. I stroked her back comfortingly.

“Of course. I’m here for you, Sweetie.”

“Even if… if…”

“Even if Rarity can’t be. Yeah,” I said, speaking aloud our shared fear.

She was quiet for a moment, but her breath hitched. She sniffled once, and then took a deep breath. “She’s okay. She’ll save us.”

I didn’t have a reply to that, so I just kept rubbing her back and shoulders, and soon her breathing evened out and she fell asleep on my shoulder. I let out a quiet sigh of my own, closing my eyes. Sapphire was right, I was exhausted. I needed to take this opportunity to rest. The quiet murmur of voices and the warm weight of the filly sleeping on my chest slowly lulled me, and I found myself relaxing, my body finally giving in to the desperate feeling of exhaustion.

I woke up as Sweetie Belle shifted on my lap, her hooves on my shoulders, shaking me slightly. I blinked hard, peering around. “Hm?”

“I think you were having a nightmare,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry I woke you up, but you were talking in your sleep and it sounded… bad.”

“Oh,” I blanched, trying to remember whatever dreams had come from my exhausted dozing. It couldn’t have been more than an hour or so, at my best guess, but it was also hard to tell from just my lingering feeling of needing more sleep. I probably could use many, many extra hours after the day we’d had, but that wasn’t in the cards. I let out a grunt, shifting my position, and reached up to gingerly check on the bandage around my head. It seemed fine, I hadn’t sprung a leak in my sleep, and the pain had mostly receded, leaving only a mild irritation.

“How are you feeling?” Sweetie asked, peering up at my bandages.

“Better,” I said simply, sitting up. “Would you mind checking, though?”

Sweetie perked up at having something to do, and she shifted off my lap and stood on her hind legs, carefully unwrapping my bandage. She took what must have been a very quick peek, sticking out her tongue a bit as she peered at my injury, and then she smiled. “It looks okay. It’s a bit messy, we could probably clean up some of the blood in your mane, but it’s not bleeding anymore and it’s scabbed over pretty much.”

I resisted the urge to nod. “Good, thank you, Sweetie.”

“You’re welcome!” she chirped as she re-wrapped the gauze around my head. “We should leave it covered, though.”

“Good idea,” I said. “No need to let it air out just yet,” I added with a little chuckle.

Sweetie giggled at my dumb comment, tying off the wrap with a tight knot that she then tied in a little bow. I grimaced. “A bow?”

“It was very unfabulous before. Rarity wouldn’t approve,” Sweetie said with a little smile.

“Hm,” I hummed, not sure what to say. Sweetie caught my hesitation and she looked me in the eye. “Jake, I know you’re worried, but Rarity and Twilight and all the girls are… they’re real strong and fast and smart and they know lots of cool magic! And they’ve fought awful, nasty, bad creatures a whole ton of times. I know seeing them fall off a waterfall was scary, but they’ve made it through way scarier stuff and been okay. Okay?” Her voice was firm, her eyes serious. I couldn’t decide if this was denial or faith that she was displaying, but I couldn’t help but nod in agreement.

“Okay, Sweetie Belle,” I agreed, letting out a sigh as a bit of tension I’d been feeling left. “I don’t really know what to believe… but if you think they’re okay, then I’ll try to believe.”

“Good. Believe in the girls! They’ll show up and they’ll save the day, and we’ll be safe,” Sweetie said, nodding.

“Right. We just have to sit tight and make sure we stay safe,” I agreed cautiously, shifting my weight to stand up. I groaned, rubbing my backside. “Ugh, well, not the worst bed ever, but not great.”

Sweetie Belle stuck to my side as I took a very short walk, careful not to step on any ponies, and made my way to the stairs. Joe and Marge were there, sitting on the bottom-most step and quietly talking amongst themselves. As I approached they waved me over, and I sat down on the floor beside them. “What’s the word?” I asked.

“Hey, Jake. Get a bit of rest?” Joe asked.

“Yeah. How’s things going?”

Joe glanced at Marge, and then cleared his throat. “The guards all left, except one unicorn. They told us to stay hidden and out of sight down here, hide in the secret room if trouble showed up. Sapphire said they were going to try and scout around, get an idea of what was happening, see if there were any reinforcements, stuff like that. Recon, I guess.”

I frowned, glancing up the stairs. I guess it made sense - if the worst came to pass, we couldn’t keep hidden down here forever. Knowing what was happening in Canterlot made sense. I was surprised they’d left only one guard, but there weren’t a lot of options if they wanted to cover as much ground as possible and really get a clear idea of the situation. “That makes sense. So, we’re just playing the waiting game?”

“Looks like it. The pantry here is pretty okay, we could hide down here for a week at least before we’d need to worry about food or anything. Water isn’t an issue, either, we’ve got the sinks upstairs and I don’t think the yetis are going to be shutting down the water main anytime soon. As far as I’m concerned, we should stay put and not attract attention,” Joe said, listing off things as he rounded out our situation nicely.

“Not too bad. I’d been hoping for a vacation,” Marge chuckled dryly.

Our position wasn’t awful, then. We had supplies enough to last a few days, a secure spot to stay, and no immediate concerns beyond discovery. I allowed the mental checklist to tick off a few boxes and felt some of my tension leave. “Yeah. Not the worst.”

The door upstairs slammed open. “Hey, coming down!”

Joe and Marge scrambled aside as Dusky came down the stairs, supporting one of the earth pony guards, who was limping badly. “Woah,” I stood up, moving out of the way, “what happened?”

“Tripped running from yetis. Rolled his ankle, probably!” Dusky said, getting the limping pony down the stairs. The sarosian got the other guard onto the ground, settling him as he hissed in pain.

“Running from yetis?” I asked, glancing worriedly up the stairs.

“Recon didn’t go so well,” Dusky muttered as he carefully pulled the greave off the hurt guard’s foreleg, checking over the joint with quiet efficiency. “Sprained, not broken, H’luun be praised.”

“Dusky,” I said cautiously, “what does ‘didn’t go so well’ mean?”

Dusky looked up at me, frowning. “It means, Jake, that we had to retreat too quickly to learn much. Perhaps Sapphire had more luck from the air. We shall see.”

“She didn’t come back with you?” I asked, feeling a little spike of worry.

“We split up to cover more ground. It was only luck that I came across my comrade in arms running from a pack of the hairy beasts. Working together, we were able to lose them in the alleyways of Canterlot, but Private Venerable Rose here slipped in the rush and hurt himself,” Dusky explained, reaching into a saddlebag at his side and getting a medical kit out. “I’m afraid, Rose, you’re going to be on extended guard duty down here,” he said as he worked to secure the injured limb in a sling.

“You’re sure you lost them, Dusky?” I asked, feeling my worry increase.

Dusky looked up over his shoulder at me once more. “You’re welcome to check. It would be prudent to be certain, but as far as I’m aware, we were successful.”

I took a deep breath, and looked at Sweetie Belle. “Stay here, okay? I’ll be right back.”

“Be careful,” Sweetie murmured as I went up the stairs.

The dark kitchen was a little strange with nopony in it. It made me feel a bit of anger bubbling up in my chest. This place was supposed to be safe and happy, full of ponies eating meals together and enjoying coffee and doughnuts. This was my place, damn it! I crouched low, going out of the kitchen and into the dining area.

Joe’s sported large windows all around the dining room, providing an excellent view of the boulevard and surrounding streets from behind the counter. The streets were empty and still dark, though the hint of a sunrise was approaching the darkened sky that could be seen between the tall buildings. I stayed crouched, just my eyes above the counter, and watched quietly for any signs of approaching movement. I waited for long minutes, feeling my pulse slowly return to normal from the momentary scare of Dusky’s return. “Damn, what a day,” I muttered to myself.

Just as I headed back downstairs, I heard a sound. Some kind of announcement was being made. I frowned, glancing towards the back door, and made my way over to crack it open so I could hear better.

“... clemency for any ponies or creatures that surrender themselves. Once again, the Storm King, in his magnanimity, has declared clemency for any ponies or creatures that surrender themselves. This offer is on the table until sunset tomorrow, after which point we will begin searching house by house… and we will not be so nice.” The voice had a nasal, simpering quality that made me grimace as I waited to hear if there was more to the message. And, indeed, there was.

Aren’t you tired of hiding? Aren’t you hungry, or thirsty? We’re not here to hurt ponies, we need your help. We’ve got so much work to do for the Storm King. Wouldn’t you rather come now, when we’re offering a nice place to rest and warm food to eat, and not later when all we’ve got on offer is a dungeon and cold leftovers?” The voice chuckled.

Nobody likes cold leftovers! Come on out, and report to the closest troops of the Storm King. We’ll take good care of you. Hey, the clemency goes for any Canterlot guards that are still out there, too. We know you’re out there! It’s totally stupid to keep resisting, your Princesses are all captured, and we’ve got your armory and all your commanding officers. There’s practically nobody left! Just you, all alone. How sad.”

I scowled, moving to slide the door closed, but the soft sound of wings on approach gave me a moment’s pause. I opened the door wider just as Sapphire Spirit landed in front of me, smiling, ears perking up. She gestured that we should go inside with one hoof, and I led the way back down the stairs. Sapphire breathed a sigh as we got back downstairs, and Sweetie Belle glanced up from where she was waiting beside Dusky and Private Rose. She looked a little anxious, but smiled when she saw it was Sapphire and I returning.

“So, your recon go better than Dusky’s?” I sat down on the floor, joining the huddle of ponies. Sweetie Belle scooted over to sit beside me, and I gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

“Looks like it. Rose, you okay?” Sapphire asked, concern for her fellow guard writ large across her features.

“Been better. Just a sprain,” Rose muttered, looking embarrassed.

“Well, that’s a relief,” Sapphire said with a small sigh, before she looked at Dusky. “Well, this doesn’t look like the usual hostage situation. This Storm King seems to be playing for keeps. He’s got cages full of ponies up by the palace, and roaming patrols are bringing more in all the time. They’re starting in on some psychological warfare up there, offering clemency for ponies to turn themselves in. I doubt it’s working very well, but it goes without saying that any pockets of resistance are either laying low or just… not there. It might be just us, at this point, plus whoever is outside Canterlot getting ready to mount a rescue. Cloudsdale isn’t too far, so hopefully they’re planning something. Maybe a few other cities could send reinforcements, too, but it’s going to take a while to get any kind of counter going. We might be stuck for a bit.”

Dusky nodded in resignation, ears laying flat. “As I feared. There may be a number of Night Guards still safe, most were not on assignment during the Festival and our people know how to work in the dark. We can’t rely on any more of the Day Guard showing up, at this point; if they were out there, they most likely already went to the armory and were captured when it fell. We just need to plan to stay hidden, and see if we can’t find a way to escape. Right now, they’re on full alert. They expect desperate groups to make attempts at leaving, but we can’t give in to the desire to flee. We must wait and watch for a moment when their guard is down, and only then should we try anything.”

Sapphire straightened up and looked out at the civilian ponies. For the most part, they were still asleep, but many were awake and listening to the conversation. She set her jaw, looking serious, and nodded. “Yeah. You’re right, Specialist. We’ve got the best chances of keeping these ponies safe here, for the short term. Long term, we’ll escape when the moment is right. There’s side gates and other exits we could use to get out of Canterlot, and we can lay low and wait for the Storm King’s troops to get complacent, and see what opportunities come.”

“So… we wait it out?” I said, looking between Dusky and Sapphire.

“Yeah. Why, you have a better plan?” Sapphire said teasingly. “A secret weapon?”

I hesitated. “Well…” I reached into the holster beneath my shirt and revealed my pistol. “I’ve got this. It might as well be a secret weapon.”

Sapphire frowned, squinting at my gun. “What is that?”

“It’s a gun. You could think of it as a hand-sized crossbow, but with the power of one of the ballistas or big heavy crossbows you guys use. I’ll punch through most armor unless it’s really thick, pierce bone and flesh, and… well, it’s a killing weapon,” I explained, looking down at the small firearm. It was strange to speak of a simple pistol in such terms, but for the ponies it was a pretty heavy weapon.

Sapphire blinked hard. “That thing can pierce armor?”

“It’s like a canon. Literally a tiny canon, really. You guys have firework launchers, right? It’s the same idea. It launches a metal projectile at extremely high speeds. I can shoot this thing about fifty five times before I’m out of ammunition.”

The guards were quiet, looking at the weapon in my hands with a mixture of concern, surprise, and scrutiny. Dusky spoke up first. “So, we have a secret weapon. Something that we can use in dire circumstances.”

I tried not to let myself feel a bit of frustration. “What counts as dire, Dusky? We’re trapped in an occupied city, surrounded, and we need to punch our way out when the opportunity strikes, because we probably aren’t getting rescued.”

“It’s a killing weapon, Jake. We might be fighting, but as far as we’ve heard, nopony has been killed yet, and neither have any of the yetis. I know that this is a frightening situation, but it’s still an escalation of the current status quo if we begin killing our enemies. They might decide to retaliate with the helpless prisoners. This isn’t a do-or-die moment against some unthinking monster, this is a hostage situation. They have our princesses, too. What would they do if they felt like escalating the stakes? The threats they could make could change this to a tragedy,” Dusky said, voice calm.

I grit my teeth. “You ponies sure are committed to the bit, I’ve gotta give you that.”

Sapphire placed a hoof on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I know that it’s not how you’d do things, Jake, but we’re in charge here, not you. You need to have some respect for our way. And Dusky is right, this is a hostage situation. We have to be careful and think about all the ponies they have captive.”

I held my breath for a moment, and then blew it out as a raspberry, making Sapphire giggle slightly. “Fine. You’re right. This isn’t a time for going all-out. There’s… nuance.”

Sapphire grinned, “‘Nuance’? There’s a word I never expected to come out of your mouth.”

I stuck my tongue out at her. “Yeah, well, I’ve been hanging out with a fancy unicorn, maybe I’ve gotten more refined.” Sapphire’s grin faltered slightly at the mention of Rarity, and I felt my own good humor deflate a bit. I glanced over at Sweetie Belle, who had a small smile on her face as she listened to our banter, and I decided to remember to believe in her faith in her sister. “I’m sure that Rarity and the Elements of Harmony will figure something out. They apparently always do, right?”

Sapphire pondered my words for a moment, her eyes shifting to Sweetie Belle, and she seemed to understand. Her ears went flat and her expression softened, and she squeezed my shoulder again. “Yeah. They always do.”

The next few hours were quiet ones. I caught another nap with Sweetie Belle, and this time Sapphire joined us, stretching out beside the two of us and pulling off her armor for some actual decent rest. The other guards on recon returned soon after, bringing similar information: The Storm King seemed to be settling in to hold the city, and the yetis were continuing to patrol diligently inside the city and around the walls. There were no signs of reinforcements, either, not that they could get close enough to the walls to see if any other guard units were present.

The plan was to lie low, and that was what we did. The guards stood watch in the cafe, working in shifts, while the rest of us slept. Marge and Joe kept everypony fed and in good spirits, cracking jokes and telling stories. It would have almost been nice, if not for the threat of discovery.

I was woken up from a doze by Sapphire. “Hey, Jake.”

“Hm?” I grunted, looking up at her with a bit of surprise.

She gestured to her armor. “Help a mare out?”

I sighed and sat up, scooting away from Sweetie Belle. Sapphire pulled on her chamfron and back armor, which was a much more complicated set of gear than it was for unicorns or earth ponies. I helped her get her wings through without too much fuss, though she did get a little red in the cheeks when I messed with her feathers. “Get over yourself,” I muttered with a quiet, wry chuckle.

“Shush, you’ll wake up Sweetie,” Sapphire shot back, settling down a bit. I buckled and tied the armor under her barrel as she worked on getting her greaves and shoes on and secured tightly. Her helmet didn’t need much help, and I sat back as she checked everything over. “Thanks, Jake,” she said quietly as the guard helmet glamour changed her coat and mane color to its usual gray and blue, and then gestured up. “Why don’t you join me? I could use a watch buddy.”

“A watch buddy?” I chuckled quietly. “You mean you’re going to be bored out of your mind and you want a distraction.”

“I won’t deny it, but also, it would be nice to have a little company. You game?” she was already standing up, stretching slightly and flapping her wings to get her armor settled nicely.

I shrugged. “Sure, might as well.”

I stood up carefully, checking on Sweetie briefly before turning to follow Sapphire up the stairs. She led the way, up into the kitchen and quietly slinking behind the counter. I followed in a crouch, keeping myself out of sight of any of the large windows in the dining area. The dining room was well lit, as we were far into the morning, nearly afternoon. The Yeti soldiers were easier to spot, their black armor and white coats really standing out, and we stood still and watched as a group of them marched past. It wasn’t until they were well out of sight that we moved again.

Sapphire and Dusky exchanged a few words, and then they switched places. Dusky paused when he saw me, an eyebrow slowly raising, and I smiled and shrugged at him. “Sapphire said she wanted company.”

“Hm. Well, keep your eyes open. They seem to be getting a bit more focused with their patrols.”

“Focused?” I asked, shifting to peek out into the empty street.

“They’re intensifying patrols. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were doing as threatened, and searching houses.”

“Didn’t they say that clemency went until sunset today?” I frowned, feeling a bit of annoyance.

“It’s not surprising. Keeping soldiers busy is important. An invading army needs something to do,” Dusky said with a shrug. “I never expected them to keep their word, anyway. Clemency is a lie to get the weak-minded to surrender.”

I chuckled, grinning at Dusky. “Well, we won’t be caught so easily.”

“Indeed. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to get some rest. H’luun watch you, Sapphire, Jake.” Dusky did his usual chest-tap salute, and then snuck back into the kitchen behind us.

Sapphire chuckled quietly. “Good old Dusky.”

“Yeah. It’s nice having a dependable pony like him with us,” I replied, sitting down and finding a good position where I could peek up over the counter and easily duck down to avoid being seen.

“We can count ourselves lucky, I suppose. We probably all should have been captured in the armory, but having to help escort all of you civilians out gave us a chance to keep in the game,” Sapphire said, stretching out her wings briefly as her eyes scanned the street quietly. She sighed, glancing up at her helmet, and then undid it. “Stupid mane plume sticks up too much.” She pulled her helmet off and set it nearby, sighing as the glamour returned her to her usual dappled colors.

“It would be really funny if that stupid plume got you spotted by the yetis,” I said, smirking.

“It’d be funny right until we had to fight them, you mean,” she retorted, shaking her head. “Speaking of that… I wanted to ask. If it comes to a fight, do you think you’ll use your gun?”

I paused, pondering the question. “I… I don’t know. I think if things looked really bad, I might have to. I’m not going to let them capture any of us. We can try taking them down quickly, but if it goes sideways, I can’t promise I won’t do what needs to be done to end things quickly.”

Sapphire nodded slowly. “Okay. Good.”

I looked up at her with a bit of surprise. “Good?”

“Yeah,” she said, shrugging with her wings. “I know what Dusky said, and I agree, but if things go bad… I think if they find us after we’ve been hiding for so long, they’re going to be frustrated and angry. They won’t have commanding officers at their backs making sure they pull punches and really bring us all in to be thrown in those cages. I don’t want you to have to use that thing, Jake, but if… if it means you might save your life, or somepony’s life… well, we’ll all do what we have to do.”

I found that I’d been holding my breath while listening to her, and I let it out in a slow sigh. “Yeah. That was my plan all along, honestly. I’m not going to let those goons hurt anypony. If it comes down to it, I’ll use it and try to not kill any yetis, but even if I shoot them in the leg or something they’re gonna be really badly injured.”

Sapphire nodded to me, smiling. “That’s a good idea. Do your best, okay? And we’ll just hope that you won’t have to use it.”

I snorted. “You think our luck will be that good?”

“My luck is,” Sapphire said, casting me a sly grin, “but unfortunately, you’re here, so it’s probably about fifty fifty.”

I stuck my tongue out at her. “Hey, you’re the one with bad luck. After all, you keep getting assigned to me.”

Sapphire chuckled, and then froze, her ears swiveling to the left. I looked up over her shoulder to the street, and I could see a group of Storm King troops moving down the street again. They were dragging a pony behind them, one having grabbed the stallion by his rear leg. We watched quietly as they moved along, but before they could pass us, the pony started squirming. I could just barely hear him yelling.

“You’re gonna b-break my leg!”

The yetis paused, and one dragging him turned fully around, looking down on him with blue glowing eyes through the imposing black helmet. The light blue stallion stopped yelling, looking terrified. The yeti’s eyes traveled down to the leg it was holding, and it dropped it. The stallion let out a yelp, but then curled the leg in close, rubbing at the ankle joint.

Before anyone could react, the yeti soldier lashed out, smashing a giant fist across the stallion’s face and knocking him head over tail to the ground. Sapphire bristled, visibly shifting on her hooves. I frowned, glaring at the yetis and quickly taking stock. There were four of them, all armored, but mostly carrying no weapons, though one carried a long spear. I muttered under my breath, “C’mon, he gets it. Don’t hurt him.”

The yeti towered over the whimpering Stallion, who curled up into a shaking ball, and it kicked him in the back. The stallion yelped. I grimaced. “Fuck. Go get Dusky.”

Sapphire was already moving, sliding past me and heading into the kitchen. I watched as the yeti delivered another kick to the helpless pony’s side, rolling him through the street. The other yetis watched and did nothing to intervene, though I could hear them talking in their deep throated language.

Dusky arrived with Sapphire a moment later, along with the two other unicorn guards and the other earth pony guard. The situation hadn’t gotten better. The Yeti seemed determined to treat the earth pony like a kickball, and the stallion had started screaming for help. Sapphire and Dusky shared a look.

“Yes,” Sapphire said.

“No,” Dusky said at the same time.

They glared at each other. “What the fuck do you mean, no?” I hissed, turning to glare at Dusky.

“We have twenty ponies here that need to be safe. We can’t fight every battle, not as we are. This is a losing choice,” he said quietly, trying to project calm, but I saw him wince when the stallion let out a pitiful yelp.

I looked at Sapphire. “He’s in charge, right?”

Sapphire grit her teeth. “Technically, we’re the same rank but he has seniority.”

“So I just have to convince him?” I asked, feeling an idea form in my head.

Dusky frowned. “Jake, I can see you planning something. Think about Sweetie Belle.”

“I’m thinking about how I need to face that filly after this, and I don’t think it’s gonna be easy if I let that yeti beat that poor pony to death out there,” I said, rising to my full height.

Dusky grimaced, holding up a hoof as I made to move. “Jake! Jake. Okay. I know I can’t talk you out of this. So we’ll do it. We need to do this together. Coordinate, make sure none of them get away.”

I didn’t sit down, but Dusky gave quick orders. “Okay. We’re the distraction. Sapphire, go up and over, everyone else, split up and flank from both sides. We’ll get their attention. Go.” Sapphire and the unicorns and earth pony guards slipped out the back door. Dusky took a breath and then pointed to the front door. “Are you ready?”

I grinned. “I almost lost faith in you, Dusky.”

Dusky tightened his helmet, a grim expression on his face. “It’s easy to be a hero, hard to be a leader. I know I can’t talk you out of your heroics.”

“Yeah, well,” I said, climbing over the counter and stepping up to the front door, “it’s not every day that I actually get to be useful against Equestrian bad guys.” I clicked the lock open, and pushed through the doors into the street.

The yeti kicking the stallion stopped as I stepped into the street, appearing mere feet away from him. It cocked its head, glancing from me to Dusky. Dusky spread his wings and grinned a fanged grin. “We surrender.”

I didn’t even see Sapphire’s approach. She fell out of the sky on top of the yeti with a spear like lightning from a stormcloud, her hooves smashing into the yeti’s face and knocking it to the ground. The rest jumped, startled, as our unicorn pals joined us, spells firing off as they attacked from either side. A lasso of magic hit one, catching it tight, while some kind of befuddling spell hit the other and sent it staggering. The yeti kicking the pony managed to get into some kind of fighting stance before Dusky and I were on him. We worked in tandem, Dusky leaping up high to kick the yeti’s face, while I went low and aimed a shove at his chest.

Our strikes hit in tandem, staggering him back, and he tripped over the injured stallion, falling over. Dusky flew up high and delivered a four-hoof stomp to the yeti’s stomach, knocking the wind out of it, and I came from the side, kicking at his face. He managed to swipe at me with his huge claws, tearing my pants leg but not finding any purchase as I jumped back. Dusky gave him another stomp with his rear hooves, and then punched his front hooves into the Yeti’s face. That knocked him down for good, and we turned to check on the others.

The lassoed yeti had been completely tangled with magical ropes, and was sitting down with an annoyed look in its eyes. The befuddled one was chasing a bunch of magical butterflies around, its eyes completely unfocused. The one Sapphire hit had been reduced to a snoring pile of armor and fur. Dusky got off the yeti and moved directly to the beaten stallion. “We’re here to help. Stay still.”

The stallion didn’t move, staying curled up, whimpering. Dusky began checking him over and ensuring he was going to be okay. Sapphire grabbed hoofcuffs from her saddlebag and magically enlarged them to fit the yetis, and started taking them into custody. I let out a shaky sigh, feeling the adrenaline bleed away, and smiled. “Good work, ponies.”

The earth pony guard pouted. “I didn’t even get a hit in.”

I smirked. “Count yourself lucky. These guys have hard heads, you coulda chipped a hoof.”

The earth pony’s pout intensified, but he moved to help get the yetis, his strength making easy work to drag the yetis into the diner proper. I helped Sapphire with the other unconscious yeti, while the unicorns used their magic to drag or direct their two captives in as well. The four of them lay, sat, or stood woozily in the dining room of Doughnut Joe’s. I glanced at Sapphire. “Well… we beat them. Now what?”

Sapphire considered our four captives, and then grinned. “We can stash them in the walk-in freezer.”

I gave her a surprised look. “Isn’t that inhumane?”

“They’re yetis. I’m pretty sure the freezer is like home for them, right?” Sapphire said with a chuckle.

I looked the beasts over, taking in their thick fur, shaggy coats, and heavy armor filled with fluff. “You actually might be on to something, there.”

With the help of the unicorns and earth pony, we moved the four yeti soldiers into the walk-in freezer. It was a little small, but we managed to cram them in. They didn’t protest much, and once we got them put away we slammed the heavy door shut and set the lock into the latch on the front, ensuring they were stuck. I dusted off my hands, smirking at the closed door. “Score one for Equestria.”

Dusky entered the kitchen, looking around at the group. “You… put them in the freezer?”

“I thought it made sense,” Sapphire said, grinning at him.

Dusky thought about it for a moment and then nodded. “Actually, yes. Good thinking, Corporal.” He shifted his attention to one of the unicorns. “I need your help carrying the stallion inside. How is your magic? Not too exhausted?”

“No, sir,” the unicorn replied with a salute, and the two of them went back outside quickly.

They returned within a minute, the unicorn using his telekinesis to carry the stallion inside. His blue coat was a mess, and I could see swelling where big bruises were forming across his sides and back. He was thankfully unconscious, and Dusky gestured to the stairs. “Let’s get him downstairs. Private Snow, can you guard our prisoners?”

The unicorn guard who had used the lasso spell gave a salute. “On it, sir.”

Dusky nodded. “Okay, good. Keep at it. Sapphire, can you watch the street? I’m worried we might have attracted attention.”

“Is he gonna be okay?” I asked Dusky, gesturing to the blue earth pony stallion who was floating in the telekinetic field.

“Most likely, though he’s going to have a really bad time. Probably has a broken rib or two, but there isn’t much we can do about that but wrap up his sides and try to keep him comfortable,” Dusky explained, looking worriedly over the unconscious stallion.

“Well… at least he’s alive,” I said, shoving my hands in my pockets.

Dusky gave me a nod and then directed the unicorn downstairs, helping guide the unconscious pony down. Sapphire headed back out to the counter to keep watch, and I decided to follow her while Dusky took care of the hurt stallion. She sat back down behind the counter again, her breathing slowly evening out and a bit of a wild look in her eyes. I sat down with her, eyeing her strange expression. She grinned at me suddenly. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a bit. Ever since we saw them taking those ponies away in chains, actually.”

“Yeah?” I chuckled, reaching out and ruffling her mane.

Her ears went flat but she didn’t protest her mane being mussed, though she automatically used one hoof to try and fix it as she spoke, “Yeah. Thanks for backing me up, Jake. I think I would have snapped at Dusky if he’d tried to keep us from helping that pony.”

“No kidding. I did snap at him. I know he meant well, trying to think logically and all that, but I couldn’t just sit there and do nothing,” I said, leaning back against the counter.

“Yeah, I understand.” Sapphire leaned forward a bit more. “Seriously, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. We did the right thing, that’s all, nothing to be thanked for,” I stated simply, shrugging.

She stared at me for a long moment, and then she giggled, shaking her head. “I think I find new ways to be surprised by you all the time, Jake.”

“Listen, I’m working hard to be better than I was. Part of that is knowing that doing the right thing should be its own reward. Nobody needs to throw me a parade for just being a decent person and keeping people safe,” I said quietly, looking down at my hands and noticing that they were shaking.

Sapphire’s hooves reached up and caught my hands, holding them steady. “You almost sound like a guard, talking like that.”

I snorted, smiling at her. “Oh man, you mean I sound like a cop like you? That’s a new low.”

Sapphire snorted, pressing my shaking hands against her chestplate. “I like it.”

We sat quietly like that while the adrenaline bled off and our bodies relaxed. I felt the tremors going through my body slowly quiet, my hands growing still in Sapphire’s hooves. She slowly relaxed as well, her wings settling from a tight position to more loose at her sides, and I could see some of the tension in her face melt away as she held my hands. I found a smirk crossing my face. “You know, where I’m from, hand holding is a sign of romance.”

“Jake?”

“Yes, Sapphire?”

“Shut up.” The tension finally broke and we shared a quiet laugh. Sapphire’s giggles settled down first, and she let my hands go, but shifted to lean against my side. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“I’m glad you’re here, too. You’re a real tough mare, Sapphire. I’m really lucky to have a friend like you,” I said simply.

She let out a sigh, closing her eyes and resting her head on my shoulder. “I’m glad we’re friends, too. It’s rare for a… a tough mare like me to find somebody that respects that. I’m glad that you’re willing to go into a fight with me like that.”

I chuckled, pondering our situation. “Is this what Rarity and her pals are like? Ready to just go fight some big bad to save the world at a moment’s notice? Tougher together, ready to really throw down for harmony and friendship?”

Sapphire giggled, looking up at me. “I’ve never really thought about it like that, but you’re right. They’re a bunch of really tough mares, too.”

I smirked, leaning my head back to look up at the ceiling. “And I work for the princesses, who are also certified tough mares. Damn, I’m surrounded.”

Sapphire snorted, laughing a little harder, and I joined her. It felt good. We’d done something good, helped somepony, and we’d won. It wouldn’t always be like this and I knew it. “We’re on a clock now, you know,” I said quietly, as my laughter finally slowed down.

“Yeah. They’ll miss their patrol, and they’ll come looking,” Sapphire said, her expression falling slightly for a moment, but she shook her head and looked up at me with a fierce smile. “Well, you know what?”

“What?” I felt like I knew the answer, though, and I was already grinning back.

“Buck ‘em. We’ll show them who we are,” Sapphire said, pressing her shoulder against my side.

I chuckled, ruffling her mane again. “Damn right.”

I was jostled awake by Sapphire once more, back down in the basement. I looked up blearily, shifting to sit up, but discovered that I was pinned on my back by Sweetie Belle, who was snoring quietly on top of my chest. I grimaced and shifted, lifting her up and moving her to the side. Her snoring stopped and she mumbled something incoherent. I turned my attention back to Sapphire. “What time is it?”

“It’s early in the morning,” she said quietly, leaning forward to whisper to me. “They found us.”

I was instantly awake, sitting up fully. “Shit.”

“Shh. No need to start a panic. Just come up, we’re going to see what we can do about this.” Sapphire stepped away, and I got to my feet and quietly stretched before moving after her. I could hear voices as I came up the stairs, and Sapphire pointedly closed the door to the lower area. Doughnut Joe and Marge were in the kitchen, along with all the other guards and Dusky. They stopped talking when we arrived, and Dusky stepped forward.

“Jake, sometime in the last couple minutes, a whole mess of Yetis showed up and started surrounding the building,” Dusky explained to me quietly. “They definitely know we’re here. Maybe those yetis we captured can communicate to the others, or something, but whatever the case, we’re in trouble.”

“How many?” Sapphire asked.

“At least ten that we can see from the front. We peeked out the back using a spell and there’s a half-dozen more at the rear. More than enough to overwhelm us if they rushed us,” Dusky said, grimacing a fanged grimace, his tail lashing.

“Damn, they didn’t cut corners,” Sapphire mumbled.

“Yeah, well, what’s the plan?” I asked, looking around. The guards looked at Dusky and Sapphire. Sapphire frowned and looked at Dusky.

“Dusky, this is your wheelhouse, not mine. I’ll defer to you on this.”

Dusky nodded. “Thank you, Sapphire. I’m glad to take the lead on this.” He looked at the assembled ponies. “I think the best course of action is to wait. They have us surrounded, but they’re not moving in yet. For the ponies downstairs… Joe, Marge, it may be time to get everypony into the secret room and seal it up. Jake, you should go with them.”

I scowled. “What about you guys?”

Dusky glanced at the group briefly before speaking up. “They know that there are ponies here. They probably can guess that there are guards, considering we took down four of their friends. If they don’t find somepony here, they’ll look all the harder for us, and they might find that secret room.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t want to tell anypony what to do, but I think the best course of action is to put up some resistance here in the cafe, encourage them to think that they’ve found the culprits who took down their friends, and give them a reason to think that it was just us. A bunch of guards, and nopony else.”

Joe frowned. “A sacrifice, then? I’m not so sure I like that.”

“I definitely don’t,” I said, crouching down to look Dusky in the eye. “I can stay up here. I know how to fight, you know that. I can be your ace in the hole. Sixteen of them, sure, but I’ve got the secret weapon. We can fight and win.”

Sapphire turned to look at me with a small, sad smile. “Jake… what about Sweetie Belle.” I stopped speaking, feeling my stomach clench. Damn it. “I know you want to help, but you need to remember your duty. This? This is ours.”

“Fuck, I hate it when you get all logical on me,” I said quietly, glaring at her. She smirked and gave me a shrug. I sighed. “Fine. I’ll go down with the civilians. I can be the, uh, last line of defense. Or whatever.” I hated saying that, but it was all I had.

Dusky smiled. “Good. Now that that’s settled, you all should get moving. We’ve got work to do, and you need to get everyone into the secret room safely. Joe, Marge, can you handle that?”

Joe nodded solemnly, and Marge gave a snort. “We’ll do our part, you ponies don’t worry. And we’ll have Jake with us, and if any of those yetis poke their nose where it doesn’t belong, he’ll take care of ‘em. Right, Jake?”

I nodded to her. “Right.”

“Okay then. You ponies be safe, okay? We’ll get everyone into the secret room and settled and quiet. They won’t find us,” Marge said, grabbing Joe by the scruff as she walked by. “And you, I can see you trying to think about how you should stay and fight for the cafe. Nothin’ doin’! You are gonna go downstairs and let the guards do their job. C’mon!” Joe let out a quiet yelp as he was physically dragged back down the stairs.

I chuckled. “You sure we can’t just let Marge loose on them?”

Dusky grinned. “I think that would be against the Geneighva Convention.”

I tilted my head to look at him. “Wait, you guys have that?”

He ignored me, looking to the rest of the group. “I need two ponies guarding the back door. We can probably lock it, but they’re strong enough to break it down. The rest of us need to focus on the front, they can come through the windows no problem. Unicorns at the front, maybe?”

Sapphire turned to regard me as Dusky and the other guards began strategizing. “You better get going, Jake.” I hesitated, frowning at her, and she stepped forward and pulled me into a tight hug, wrapping her wings around my shoulders. “Keep that filly safe. We’ll be okay. They’re taking prisoners, remember?”

“I hate this,” I said, speaking my mind, and I held her tight for a long moment before finally stepping back and taking her hoof to help her back down to all fours. A courtly little mannerism in the middle of this shit situation.

“Yeah. Stay safe, okay?” Sapphire nudged me with her nose. “Go.”

I stood up and turned to the stairs, but a loud voice from outside gave me pause.

“Hello. Hello? Is this thing on? Oh, it is? Ugh, magic, whatever. Okay, hello, hi there, little ponies! It’s the Storm King talking. You’ve probably heard of me by now, and if you haven’t, well where have you been? Ha ha!” The smarmy, deep voice immediately set my nerves on edge. The Storm King himself was here for this?

He continued speaking, voice magically amplified. “Anyway, all jokes aside, it’s really important you take me seriously when I say… the game’s over! It’s all done. You’re surrounded by my elite guards, you have no hope of escape, and we definitely know you’re in there. You have four of my guys in there, too. Now, you may think that having four of my guys gives you some kind of, I dunno, bargaining chip or something? I just really want you to know that I could care less what you do to those guys. So you can’t threaten me or something, because I really really don’t care about them. All I care about is ending this stupid little stand-off. I have so much more important things to do, I had to get woken up early for this little chat, and I’m very, very cranky about it.”

I looked over my shoulder towards Dusky and Sapphire. They were listening intently, but Dusky gestured for the group to move towards the front of the cafe and take up positions. The voice continued, sounding slightly more unhinged. “And when I say cranky, I mean really upset, totally off my game, teeth-grinding kind of mad. It’s not a good look for me, and if you continue to upset me, it’s going to be a really bad look for you. Because you’ll be looking, uh, bad. So, let’s all cut to the chase, shall we?” The Storm King cleared his throat. “I know that there’s a pegasus in there, and an earth pony, and a couple of unicorns, and a bat pony. And you’ve got some kinda hairless yeti, too. Yes, we used magic, yes, we know how many of you there are, no, you can’t escape or try to hide. Don’t forget: surrounded. You know what that means, right?”

Sapphire froze and turned to look at me. I frowned. “Fuck.” I turned on my heel and took the stairs two at a time, getting down to the cellar and missing whatever the Storm King had to say next. The ponies were crowding into the small secret door, and I could see a room beyond that was lit by candles. I looked around for Sweetie Belle, and found her near the back of the group. I could see she was scared, and she was looking around frantically. When she saw me, she perked up, a worried smile on her face. I ran to her, picking her up and giving her a tight hug. “Hey, Sweetie.”

“Jake! There you are. Marge says we’re hiding from the yetis,” she said quietly.

I looked away from her to Marge, who was ushering ponies into the secret room. She saw my expression and she frowned. “Jake, you look like you found a fly in your coffee.”

“A bit worse than that. They know I’m here. Maybe the yetis we captured could talk to them or something, I don’t know. But this doesn’t work unless they find me, too… so…” I shrugged helplessly.

Marge’s frown deepened. “Well… shoot.”

“Yeah. Marge, can you take care of Sweetie for me?” I asked, setting the unicorn filly down beside Marge.

Sweetie gasped, looking up at me with a pained expression. “Jake! You… you can’t go!”

I grimaced, her expression tearing at me. “I have to. They know I’m here, and they know all the guards are here, but they don’t know you’re here, so you can hide from them. I… I’m just gonna have to rely on Rarity and her friends, and so will you. Right?”

Sweetie bit her lip, looking more worried. “I… r-right.”

“Okay. So, you stay with Marge and stay quiet and safe. Okay?” I reached out and pulled her close for another hug. She clung to me for a long moment, a little whine in her throat, but when I pulled back her face was set in a brave expression.

“Rarity will rescue us, Jake. I know it,” she said quietly, and she leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “So… be brave, okay?”

I nodded, touched by the gesture. “Yeah. I’ll be brave if you can be brave.”

“I’m a cutie mark crusader, Jake! We definitely know how to be brave,” she replied, giving me a trembling smile.

I stood up, reluctantly letting her go, and she moved to stand next to Marge. I gave Marge a long look. “Take care of her, yeah?”

“With my life,” Marge said seriously, and then she took Sweetie Belle by the hoof and led her through the door, closing it behind her. The door ground closed and there was a shimmer of magic, and then… there was no door.

I raised an eyebrow. “Damn, that’s a good secret door.” I wished I had time to learn how it worked, but I knew I needed to get back upstairs.

I took the stairs fast, getting upstairs. I went out into the cafe, grimacing at the scene. There were, indeed, ten heavily armored yetis in the front. They carried shields and spears, and had formed a line in front of the windows. Sapphire glanced over at me from behind the counter as I joined her, crouching low. “They’re all safe. What’s the word?”

“The Storm King has some kind of magical projection thing, and he’s got some yeti lackey carrying it around so he can talk to us. Dusky was talking to him for a minute, trying to negotiate, but we’re only being offered ‘unconditional surrender’,” Sapphire said, frowning. “This guy isn’t much of a negotiator, honestly. So now it’s just waiting to see.”

“What’s our plan, Dusky?” I asked, looking across to him.

Dusky smiled at me, “No plans. We’re going to fight them. You… maybe you should disable your secret weapon? I’m worried about it falling into the wrong hooves.”

I pulled out the pistol and checked it carefully, and then shook my head. “Nah. I’ve got a better idea.”

“What, pray tell, is that?” Dusky asked.

“Turning this stand-off into a Mexican one,” I said with a smirk, and I stood up from the counter.

The Yeti’s reacted, shifting their stances to raise their shields. I raised my pistol and took careful aim. They weren’t moving, and I could steady myself pretty readily. I switched the safety off and carefully squeezed the trigger.

BLAM

The report of the gun was loud in the cafe, and all the guards winced at the loud sound. The window shattered as my bullet passed through it and clipped through the edge of the shield of one of the Yeti soldiers. The soldier’s shield was knocked aside, and they all leapt back, taking cover away from the windows. I caught a brief glimpse of an unarmed Yeti carrying a big, glowing ball that had a strange monkey-like creature wearing a crown projected in the air above it. That had to be the Storm King. I cleared my throat and yelled out into the street. “You picked the wrong hairless ape to mess with. I’m a powerful wizard, do you understand? But I only know one spell, and it’s that one. I just punched a hole in glass and armor from almost thirty feet away, clean, and I can just keep doing that… again and again. Do you understand? Your guys don’t have enough armor to stop me from making a hole in them. Nothing can stop it, do you get me?” I crouched back down behind the counter and waited for a response.

It came pretty quickly. “I call bluff. If you’re such a powerful wizard with such a powerful spell, why haven’t I heard of you, or that spell, huh?”

I steadied my pistol against the counter, keeping a two-handed grip, aiming carefully. I squeezed the trigger again.

BLAM

I watched with satisfaction as the window across the street shattered. “I like to keep a low profile.”

“Ha! Well, look at that. It’s got some range to it. Okay, ape wizard, I see we’re at a bit of an impasse here, but—”

“It’s called a Mexican standoff where I’m from. You have to call it that,” I said, biting back a laugh.

“A… a what? Listen, it doesn’t matter what it’s called, I just—”

“No, you have to call it that. I need to hear you say it. Mexican. Standoff.”

Sapphire squinted at me. “Jake, what are you doing?”

“Buying time, right? It’s the most important part of a Mexican standoff,” I lied. I couldn’t really explain to her that this was something of a bucket list moment from my old life. I was the only half-latino in Equestria, and by Celestia, I was going to get somebody from this world to say the words ' Mexican standoff’.

“No, I’m not saying it. Listen, ape wizard, obviously this is—”

“I’m not negotiating until you say it.”

“... Is this guy for real?”

Dusky spoke up. “I assure you, he is very real.”

“Listen to the pony, Mister Storm King. I’m real as it gets,” I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Fine. Whatever. Fine. It’s a… what is it?”

“Mexican standoff,” I said solemnly.

“It’s… a Mexican standoff.”

I laughed. “Hell yeah it is. Okay, Mister Storm King, what can I do for you?”

“You’re a powerful wizard. I’m a powerful tyrant-king. I guarantee that there’s some overlap in our goals and desires. I pay well, my minions are well-kept, and I really really want a wizard who can punch holes in armor on my side.”

“Yeah, no kidding, everybody does. It’s why Celestia hired me,” I said, keeping my eye on the yetis as they shuffled around a bit out front, moving to do something.

“Celestia hired you? That doesn’t seem like her. Regardless, are you aware that I’m currently using Celestia as a tasteful piece of decor in my throne room? You aren’t getting paid anytime soon.”

“Money has to come up-front. That’s the deal. So, unless you can pay more, I’m the loyal servant of Equestria for the next moon.” They were definitely up to something. I took aim, shifting my stance a bit so I could aim low. “Hey, tell your boys to stop moving around, they’re making me nervous. They won’t like me when I’m nervous.”

“Who, those guys? They’re fine. Don’t worry abou—”

BLAM

My bullet went through the front edge of the ankle greave of the Yeti nearest to me, just as it was looking to reposition. It yelped and collapsed into the street, blue-black blood seeping from the hole I’d punched through its armor. I could hear the ponies gasp in surprise, but I ignored it. Two other yetis shifted and grabbed the downed one, pulling it away and fully out of view. “I don’t like being nervous, Mister Storm King.”

“Jake, be careful,” Dusky cautioned.

“Don’t worry, Dusky. They needed a little concrete evidence,” I said calmly.

“Let me see! Let me… Oh, would you look at that. It punches through hide and flesh, too.” I could hear him chuckle. “You weren’t joking. Okay, ape wizard. Is it okay if I call you ape wizard?”

“I prefer my wizard name, actually.”

“... Which is?”

“Grandes Bolas,” I said with a smirk.

“Okay, Grand Bolas, anyway, I see that you’re serious. You’ve got one really, really good spell. Damn, that’s a good spell. And you’ve really got me at a disadvantage here. I’m a big fan of unique magic and spells, you know? So, how about we… we negotiate. How much did Celestia pay you? Up front.”

“I’m glad we’re starting to understand each other, Mister Storm King.” I could hear Sapphire giggling.

“Yeah, Grand Bolas, I’m glad too. So, how much?”

“Two million bits,” I said, grinning.

“... Is this guy for real?”

“She cleaned out a portion of the treasury to pay him, yes,” Sapphire shouted, holding back her laughter.

“Wow. Okay, so, I see you come at a high price. That makes sense, considering the power you have.”

“I think it’s a reasonable ask. So, you’ve got two million bits?”

“I mean… yes, I do, but are we open to a little negotiation?”

“I’m open to some haggling, yeah,” I chuckled, shifting my position.

“Cool, great, wonderful, lovely. Okay, so, listen, in about… a few hours, here, I’m going to have something called The Staff of Sacanas, fully operational, in my possession. Very powerful magical artifact. It just needs a little more juice to really get it going. Once I have that, I’m definitely stronger than you.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Actually, yeah, it is. My magical artifact can throw tornadoes and create blizzards, bring whole swaths of destruction, large scale. You can punch a hole in anything, that’s pretty cool, definitely a good skill. I’m going to be a level up, you feel me?”

“I’m not liking where this is going, Mister Storm King.”

“I kind of figured you wouldn’t, Grand Bolas. So, how about we shift what we’re looking for, huh? I’ve got a job on offer, and I can guarantee you… one million bits in total compensation, over the course of the next five years, plus a promise that I won’t use the Staff of Sacanas to mow you down in a tornado the size of that entire stupid building you’re hiding in.”

“You’re a terrible negotiator,” I said honestly.

“I’m kind of a terrible guy. It comes with the ‘powerful tyrant’ territory, you know? But I’ve learned to accept the things I can’t change. You should realize that you can’t change that in a matter of hours you’re going to be horribly outmatched by me, Grand Bolas.”

“I see. How about you just fuck off, then? I don’t have a quarrel with you, you don’t have a quarrel with me. We can go our separate ways.”

“Interesting offer. I suppose that can work. I’ll tell my boys to let you go, and you can walk out of there and go… wherever it is that you want to go, two million bits richer, and not ground into dust in a tornado. Sound good?”

I paused. “One small problem.”

“I kind of figured. Pray tell, Grand Bolas, what is the small problem?”

“I really like this coffee place.”

“You’ve got to be joking. NO. Absolutely not. We are not doing this. This city is mine, that coffee shop is mine, all of it is MINE. You can leave or you can stay and get turned into paste. I really don’t care which you pick, but I’d like to get on with my day.”

“You can’t, not with me here. So you’ll just have to sit there and keep us surrounded, until you can grind me down with that staff or whatever, which, by the way, sounds like a bluff.”

“I am the STORM KING. STORM. It’s my whole… thing! Do you see the dark clouds I conjured to hide my airships? The cold winds? That’s all ME. So you can presume whatever you like, but you are not going to win that bluff. So, what’s it going to be, Grand Bolas!?”

“I’ll stay and die, thanks,” I said, aiming at the corner of the building where the yetis had retreated.

“Stupid. What a waste. You’ve insulted me, you’ve insulted my abilities. You know what? I didn’t want you to work for me anyway. You stink. I’m going to have a lot of fun keeping you surrounded inside that stupid little cafe, and when the winds start tearing that building apart, you’re going to rue the day you ever crossed ME, Bolas! Storm King, OUT!”

I snorted, crouching back down behind the corner when no Yetis made an attempt to charge at us immediately. “Well… that went well.”

Sapphire grabbed my shoulder, grinning. “Jake, you absolute idiot, I think you just saved our flanks.”

I shrugged. “So the gun had a purpose that was better than just a killing machine. As a stall tactic, I think that worked rather well.” I winked at Sapphire. “Es mejor que lo creas.”

Dusky was also smiling, a rare sight on the taciturn sarosian. “Well done, Jake. I’m glad you didn’t seriously harm anyone during that exchange.”

“Me too,” I said quietly. “I was worried for a minute there.”

I heard the back door thud, and a yelp from the kitchen. Sapphire and I exchanged a look of surprise, and I got to my feet again. From the kitchen, we heard a shout. “They’re breaking through!”

Just as I shifted to move towards the kitchen, the front windows all shattered at once as the Storm King’s soldiers burst through the glass, shattering it with bull-rushing shield charges. I grimaced and raised my pistol, taking aim. “You really want to do this?!” I aimed high and pulled the trigger.

BLAM

The round went over the yetis heads, sending them diving for the floor, and the ponies were up in an instant. Sapphire led them into the fight with a cry of “For Equestria!”

I grimaced and held my position behind the counter, and started shooting up over the yeti’s heads

BLAM BLAM BLAM

The yetis were obviously afraid of the sound, because every time I fired they scrambled and startled, and the sound bought the ponies time to get in close with them. Sapphire did a flying kick into one, knocking it over, while Dusky grabbed onto a spear and pulled it from a yeti’s grip, using it to sweep the legs of another yeti.

More yeti soldiers entered the diner, breaking open more windows, slamming open the front door. One of the unicorns let loose some kind of disorienting spell, pushing back a group as magical butterflies swirled around their heads and flapped in their eyes. The other started launching magical ropes, entangling limbs and tripping yetis as they entered. I had a brief moment where I wondered if most unicorns only knew a few types of spells, before a yeti lunged at me. I backstepped, avoiding his spear’s point, and aimed at the floor.

BLAM BLAM

The yeti stumbled back as I shot between its feet, and while it was distracted and off-balance, I threw a hard kick into its thigh, sending it to the floor. I glanced around, spotting the massive coffee machine on the counter above the yeti I’d knocked down.. “Sorry, Joe,” I mumbled, as I shoved the machine, sending it crashing onto the yeti. The yeti struggled under the weight, and I turned my attention to the room once more.

The fight was going poorly. Sapphire was darting about, kicking off of yetis as they came at her, trying to find room to maneuver, but she was getting surrounded. Dusky wasn’t in much better shape, a yeti actually physically throwing itself on top of him and pinning him down. The unicorns were backing into corners, trying to keep their flanks covered as their horns literally started to glow from the amount of magic they were throwing out. Stun spells, ropes, and butterflies filled the space and while it gave the yetis pause, it wasn’t enough. It was getting desperate.

A yeti charged me and I aimed high.

BLAM

The bullet shot between its horns, the noise of it making it duck on reflex, and I launched a strong front-kick, my shoe cracking into its chin. It’s head snapped up and its eyes rolled back, and it collapsed in a heap in front of me.

Another yeti was right behind the one I'd just taken down, and it launched itself at me, a full-body tackle that caught me at the waist and pulled me down behind the counter. The cabinets crackled and clattered and silverware rained down on us as we struggled. I slammed my elbows down on the back of the yeti’s head again and again, grimacing as the hard helmet smashed my arm, and it struggled to pin me down. I brought the gun right beside the side of its head, where I guessed its ears were, and fired.

BLAM

In the tighter space it was definitely much louder, and the sound of a gunshot right beside its head had the desired effect. It let go with one hand and clutched at the side of its helmet, growling in pain. I got my knee between us and pushed, knocking it off of me, and I pushed forward as it fell back. It took a swipe at me with its free hand, the claws raking across my stomach and leaving cuts, and I growled, getting to my feet and shoving it back against the counter. It fell back, its legs dangling, back on the countertop, and I pressed the barrel of my gun right to its forehead. “Don’t fucking move,” I shouted, pressing hard, making sure my point was clear, before I pulled it back a little ways, making sure that my gun would be able to fire.

The yeti put its claws in the air, and the fight in the diner continued as I stood over it. I could hear the yetis growling and the ponies gasping for breath. I could feel the weight of the moment. This could be it. Pull the trigger, get this one out of the fight, do it to the next one.

Don’t stop.

Don’t.

Keep going.

Wait!

Don’t stop until blood covered the carpet and everypony was safe.

Stop!

Don’t stop until blood covered my hands.

“Jake! Stop!” Sapphire’s voice filtered through my thoughts.

I blinked, her voice bringing me back. I looked up and found that the fight was over. Dusky was pinned beneath a yeti, Sapphire was caught by two, who were holding her against a wall. The unicorns were being held at spear-point, their horns literally smoking with excess heat from their spellcasting. It was just me, the yeti I held at gunpoint, and four more yetis with their spears leveled at me. I grimaced. “No.”

“Jake. It’s done,” it was Dusky, this time. He looked at me, his face cut and bleeding, but his eyes were firm. “You don’t have to do this.”

I looked from Dusky to the yeti I’d held at gunpoint. It didn’t move, it’s hands up, frozen in the moment. I turned my gaze to the four yetis. They didn’t move, but the threat was implicit, their spear points ready. I took a shaking breath, looking back down to the yeti on the counter. “I could do it.”

“No you can’t,” Sapphire said quietly.

“I can,” I said, just as quiet.

“That isn’t who you are anymore!” Dusky shouted, closing his eyes and grimacing as he struggled briefly under the weight of the yeti pinning him. “Let me up, you beast. I surrender.”

The yeti actually stood up, but it kept a massive paw on Dusky’s back, holding tight to one of his wings so he couldn’t fly. Dusky got to his hooves with a grunt. “See? We’re done.”

I looked to Sapphire, feeling some desperation welling up inside me, but she had her hooves in the air now, as well. “Yeah. I surrender.”

I swallowed hard, and looked back at the yeti. Everything inside me screamed to fight, to not give up, to keep going. But there was another voice, now. A voice that said it was okay, that I had to stop.

I took another breath, and then took a slow step back from the yeti on the counter. It scrambled back and away, falling off the counter and onto its side as it moved behind the line of yetis with spears. I looked at the gun in my hands, and I pulled the slide carefully, ejecting the round in the chamber out and into my hand and leaving the breach open. The yetis advanced a bit closer, and I calmly jammed the second round into the open breach of the gun before I closed it. That was as good of a failsafe as I was going to get in an improvised second.

I set the pistol down on the counter, and raised my hands. “Okay.”

This fight was over.

9d: Festival of Friendship Finale

View Online

The room was finally quiet as I set down my pistol and raised my hands into the air. The fight was over, and we’d lost… but nopony had died, and neither had any yeti. I wasn’t sure how I felt about winning the moral victory but losing the literal victory. I’d probably have time to decide while I was stuck in the dungeon.

The yeti guards kept their spears up, and I just waited for them to decide what to do. The ones holding the unicorns at spearpoint maneuvered them outside, and Sapphire was set down on the floor, where they tied her wings. I growled as they manhandled her out of the café, but Sapphire seemed calm, her face set in a grim line. Dusky was next, and he was led outside as well. The four keeping me pinned didn’t move at all, but a fifth yeti came and took the pistol from the counter, carefully placing it in a pouch and taking it away.

Once my weapon was gone, the four yeti guards shifted around and two pulled away, working on helping move their injured allies out and away from the diner. The others returned, starting to search the diner. I heard them clattering around in the kitchen, heard the creak of the stairs as they went downstairs. I stayed motionless, hands in the air. I didn’t hear any yells of surprise or terrified screams, and I tried not to let my relief show. Maybe things had worked out?

The yetis returned with manacles, heavy iron things, and one approached me slowly with them. I bit back a growl as it grabbed me and put me in chains. Only then did the yetis with their spears relax, stepping back and speaking their yeti language at one-another. I was led out into the street, blinking in the early morning light. The street was quiet, and now that all the fighting was done it felt even more intense, somehow. The absence of sound was just as eerie as the deserted streets.

The rest of the guardponies were gathered together and in chains, and they were carefully putting Dusky and Sapphire into line with the rest. Canterlot was quiet, asides from the sounds of the chains and the grunts and groans of the guards as they nursed their hurts. I looked them over as the yetis lead me to the back of the group, right behind Sapphire. They looked worse for wear, but beside Dusky’s cut on his forehead, which seemed superficial, the rest of the guards were not too bad off. Beside the cuts across my stomach, which didn’t feel too deep and had already stopped bleeding, I was probably the least hurt but also the worst looking of the whole group. My Rarity-made shirt was ruined, stained red with my own blood. She’d be so upset.

I let them chain me into the line of ponies, and they started marching us towards the palace. “Everypony okay?” Dusky asked quietly, his tail low and eyes squinting in the bright sunlight. I wished I had some sunglasses to offer the poor Sarosian, but he was going to have to tough it out today.

“Yeah, just out of mana.”

“Same here.”

“They messed up my wings a bit, and I’m gonna develop some nasty bruises, but I’m okay,” Sapphire grunted, her ears flay with annoyance. Her wings were a mess, feathers bent and skewed, primaries ruffled. They twitched in the bindings, trying to adjust, but it was a hopeless affair.

“My leg’s really rough,” Private Rose said, limping carefully on the hurt limb, “but we’re only going to the palace. I’ll manage.” He grit his teeth and kept on moving. I wanted to pick him up and carry him, but I doubted the yetis would let me do that.

“I’m okay, too,” Private Snow added, “just a sore muzzle and a swollen eye.”

“I’m fine,” I added, nodding down towards the bloodstains on my shirt, “the cuts on my front look worse than they are.”

“Good. I am also all right, but—” Dusky was cut short as a yeti to one side of our little line of prisoners growled and stepped closer to Dusky. The threat was implicit. I glared back at the yeti.

“Okay, we get it. No talking,” Sapphire grumbled, her tail lashing, and the group went silent.

The rest of the slow, undignified walk up to Canterlot Palace took almost an hour before we reached one of the central squares near the castle. The streets were filled with chained-up ponies, most locked in cages, but others were out and moving about as the yeti soldiers ordered them around. Our group was lead directly to the palace and past the ponies. I kept my eyes out for anypony I knew, but it was a futile exercise. There were so many ponies, and the crowds were dense. I kept my focus on our own path after a moment of hopelessly looking around.

The palace loomed overhead, and I took note of the new banners being flown from the parapets and ramparts. There was no mistaking that the Storm King intended to spend some time here in Canterlot. The airships anchored around the city floated like dire beasts, dragons come to plunder.

We were brought inside through the main entrance to the palace and walked through the halls, directly towards the throne room. “The black banners are really tacky,” I murmured, getting a dark chuckle out of Sapphire.

The doors to the throne room were left open, and as we approached the scene before us was a strange one. The throne room’s floors had been laid bare, the rugs taken away, and the throne of Canterlot was draped with black. The princesses were arrayed in a circle, with a fourth spot conspicuously empty, in the center of the room. Surrounding them was some kind of arcane circle made up of runes etched into the floor. I’d seen similar ones before, working with Twilight, but this one was fairly ornate even by advanced magic standards.

There were a group of guards attending to the Storm King himself as he lounged on the throne. He sat up when the guards and I entered the room, brought in chains before him. He grinned cruelly, standing up. He was a tall beast, with shaggy white fur and cruel blue eyes, everything you’d expect from a king of the yeti folk. He was smaller than his kin, but still exuded power and a hint of something behind his eyes—a glint that told me he wasn’t to be trifled with.

Not that that would stop me.

“Ah! If it isn’t Grand Bolas, in the flesh. So glad you could make it,” he said, voice light and friendly.

I said nothing, glaring up at him, and the Storm King strutted down the steps, smirking. “Okay, let’s see what we’ve got here… six guards, one big ape, no extras. Hm, well, a little disappointing, but—”

The yeti at the front of the group said something, stepping forward. It spoke for several moments, pointing to me repeatedly, and then it held out my pistol to the Storm King. I kept my face neutral. Don’t let him know. He doesn’t know anything about the gun. The Storm King smiled wide, his face delighted as he picked up the pistol. “Oh, the Grand Bolas is a grand liar, I see. You had me convinced you were a powerful wizard, but in fact, it’s this little device? A magic artifact! Oh, how funny. Game recognizes game, I see. Well, as one magic artifact user to another, I commend you on your taste. What a powerful little toy you’ve brought me.”

I kept quiet, watching him intently. The Storm King messed with the pistol for a moment, examining it carefully with a critical eye, before taking it into a one handed grip. “So, this seems pretty simple. A trigger like a crossbow, a front end with a little hole, and a place to grip. Almost primitive, but wow, the noise and fury this thing contains!” He laughed, and then aimed it directly at Dusky. “Bang!”

Dusky flinched, and the Storm King laughed, aiming the pistol away from the sarosian. “Asshole,” I snarled.

“Don’t you start with me, Bolas,” The Storm King growled, aiming the gun at me. I lifted my chin, daring him to pull the trigger. I bared my teeth in a cocky grin, willing him to do it, willing his hubris to give me the last laugh. “You’re nothing without this stupid thing. You’ve just given me another edge, another weapon to use in my conquests. You’re an idiot to think you could oppose me. A real brain-dead moron, so stop trying to act tough and cower before me.” His voice went from manic to deadly in moments, and I grimaced.

“Leave him alone,” Sapphire hissed, looking up at the Storm King with a glare that would have sent anyone else reeling. It promised a buck to the softest spot she could reach.

The Storm King shifted his aim to Sapphire. “Be quiet! No dumb little friendship cop is going to tell me what to do!”

He lowered the gun after Sapphire flinched away with her ears going flat. She had no way to know that the gun wasn’t operable. The Storm King chuckled cruelly. “Ha! What a useful tool. I think I’ll keep it close, for future negotiations. As for all of these fools… get them into the dungeon. I want Grand Bolas chained in the dungeons later, too, so he can teach me about this neat little artifact of his. It probably has some secrets that need unraveling, and I’m not feeling like puzzling it out myself. I want to talk to him first, though.”

The Yetis removed my manacles from the long line, and started dragging the ponies back into the hall. Sapphire was the last I saw, her eyes worried and ears low as she looked over her shoulder at me until she was taken around a corner and out of sight.

The Yetis who had stayed shifted, turning back around and arranging me against a pillar. They looped my manacles up around a torch sconce, far above my head, leaving my hands up in the air uncomfortably. Then they stepped away, taking up guard positions. “Okay, you’ve got me, Storm King. What’s the plan then, huh?” I asked, focusing my attention on their boss.

The Storm King snickered, walking back up the steps to the throne and sitting on it again. He played with the pistol idly, looking over it with curiosity. “The plan is to use this against my enemies. I have half a mind to use you as the first test, but I have a feeling there’s more to this artifact than you’re letting on. It’s a complex design. It has secrets, I can just tell. So, you’re going to tell me everything you know about it.”

I frowned, looking him up and down and trying to project an air that I was unimpressed. I’d taken a masterclass from Canterlot nobles in this maneuver, and it managed to make the Storm King snarl. “Everything, huh? And why should I?”

“Because if you don’t, I’ll bring back in one of those cute little pony guards and I’ll use this thing on them,” The Storm King said, his voice sounding pleasant yet full of poison.

I allowed a snort to escape my lips. Time to sell a lie and hope that he was as shit at reading people as I hoped. “Don’t kid yourself. I don’t care about those ponies, I just care about their money.”

“Really? So you wouldn’t object if I used one of them as a test subject?” The Storm King asked, a eyebrow arching with feigned interest.

I channeled some of my past life, hoping my eyes wouldn’t give away how worried I was feeling, and a cruel smile split my face. “Be my guest. I don’t care at all. Hell, it might be fun to see.”

The Storm King stared me down for a long moment. I felt like I was about to break into a sweat, but I met his gaze. Finally, he sat back on the throne and laughed, shaking his head. “You’re full of surprises. You fought for the ponies, and yet you don’t care about them. You really could have fooled me, you know? I saw how that one guard looked at you when she was leaving. There’s something more to all of this, but I just can’t put my finger on it.” He shrugged. “So, fine, let’s wait a bit. Maybe being forced to sit in the dungeons with nothing to eat will change your tone.”

I scowled but said nothing. I wasn’t about to argue with him, I wanted out of here and away from his frightening mood swings as quickly as possible. The yeti soldiers pulled me off of the wall sconce and drug me away.

The guards shoved me into a dungeon cell, leaving me bound in the manacles. Dusky and Sapphire and the rest of the guards were there as well, and they caught me as I was kicked roughly from behind, sending me nearly sprawling. The yetis glared at me for a moment before slamming the door and leaving us. “Jake!” Sapphire gave me a hug, her ears flat with worry.

“Hey. I’m okay,” I said reassuringly, giving her a pat on the head. I took the moment to look around.

The dungeon cell was not exactly what I’d been anticipating, but also I wasn’t surprised. There were bunk beds, stacked three high. A tiny cubicle separated a bathroom from the rest of the room, and there was even a tiny sink. The floor had a rug on it, and there were glowing magical lights that also kept the room at a comfortable temperature. I got to my feet, Dusky and Sapphire making sure I was steady, smiling gratefully at my friends as I looked around. “So… the dungeon?”

Sapphire smirked, casting a glance around the comfortable room. “Yeah, welcome to the dungeon.”

“I expected more… straw beds and ratty wool blankets on bare floors,” I said, marveling at the Equestrian idea of incarceration. I’d always thought it was strange that they still had a dungeon at all, but now that I saw the accommodations, it made a lot more sense.

“What? Why’d we keep it like that?” Sapphire snorted, rolling her eyes. “It’s Equestria, not… I dunno, the Dragon lands?”

I shook my head, smiling. “You ponies.” I heaved a sigh and sat down on the rug, looking at Sapphire and rubbing at my stomach where the shallow cuts still stung. “How are you doing?”

Dusky and Sapphire shared a glance before they approached me and sat down on either side of me. I looked at them, raising an eyebrow. “What are you two up to?”

Dusky put a hoof on my shoulder. His eyes were serious, his ears forward and attentive. “I just wanted to say that… well… I’m very proud of you.”

I blinked, smirking. What was this? “Proud?”

“Yeah, we’re proud, Jake,” Sapphire spoke up, rubbing my back gently.

I chuckled, realizing what was happening, and shook my head in exasperation. “Why? Because I didn’t kill that yeti?”

Dusky nodded, giving my shoulder a squeeze with his hoof. “Exactly!”

I frowned, looking down at my shoes. “Yeah. I figured that was what this was about.” I looked back up at him, and then around at all the other guards, looking at their hurt limbs, their bruises, their battle-weary expressions. “Was it really something to be proud of? Just… choosing to not go back to being a killer? I feel like that’s a really low bar for expectation.”

Sapphire let out a little huff. “Well, okay, but you still have to admit, it took bravery to put that gun down when it could have solved a lot of problems for us in that moment.”

I shrugged. “Yeah. Maybe.”

“Yes, definitely,” Dusky said, giving my shoulder a squeeze. “It was hard. You could have changed our situation and we could have maybe even escaped, and that would have been good, certainly, but the price you’d have had to pay, the undoing of all of this building that has been happening for the last few months, it would have been a tragedy.”

I let that thought linger for a moment, and I gave in to the logic of it. “Yeah. We’re okay, and the Storm King has the basic equivalent of a cruddy grenade instead of a working pistol. It got those yetis away from the café, too.” I looked up at Dusky and Sapphire, smirking. “And hey, as far as dungeons go, this isn’t bad. So we’re captured, yeah, but at least the beds are better than the bags of oats I was napping on in the basement.”

The ponies shared a laugh at the thought, and I leaned against Sapphire’s shoulder. She wrapped a wing around me, the soft feathers familiar and comforting. “Thanks, though. I’m not sure I could have done it without either of you.”

“It was your choice to stop fighting,” Dusky said with a gentle smile. “You did that on your own. I think we all know by now that if you really want to do something, there is nothing that can stop you.”

I snorted, shaking my head. “Yeah, you’re right.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, “I guess I did it.” It felt strange to admit that, but it was apparently deserved. “I’ve been trying so hard to not be the man that I was when I came here, and I’ve succeeded in a lot of ways, but this… this was a real hard one to manage.”

I clenched my fists, opening my eyes and looking at them. “I wanted to save you. I wanted to be a hero and beat the bad guys and win the day. I didn’t do that, but I also didn’t sacrifice my new moral compass on the altar of heroics. It would have been easy.”

Sapphire’s wing around my shoulders shifted to pull me a little tighter against her side, and I accepted the comforting gesture. “It’s always harder to pick your morals over the easy win.”

“My life was a lot of easy wins, then, because I left my morals in the dust for most of it,” I said with a dry chuckle, “but it feels good to choose to be better. It’s felt good to take the hard roads and earn things. Not that what I did before was easy, but just… it’s hard to explain.”

“You’re doing good and also difficult things. Before it was bad and difficult. You earned your skills, but the reasons why you were doing it were not good. This time, this new life, you’re making choices for the sake of others, for the sake of yourself, that are about believing in harmony. Really believing that there are better ways than to destroy what stands in your way,” Dusky said with a sage nod.

I smiled at him, “Yeah. Believing in harmony.” I pondered that statement for a long moment, and then snorted. “You ponies are starting to get to me, obviously.”

“I’m afraid it’s true,” Sapphire whispered conspiratorially. “We’ve been sneaking pony pills into your soup, and soon you’ll believe that friendship is magic.”

I snorted, casting a fake glare at her over my shoulder. “You’re too late, I already got that one figured out.”

She chuckled, “Have you though?”

“Yeah. I told you, I couldn’t have done it without you, and I mean it,” I said, the joking tone slowly shifting to a sincere one. “Without either of you, I wouldn’t have been able to keep Sweetie Belle safe. I kept my promise to Rarity, and I didn’t have to give up my new morals to do it. When it came down to it, I did make the choice to stop fighting, but it was you that snapped me out of it, got me out of fight-or-flight.” I reached up and put a hand on Sapphire’s chest. “At the risk of sounding sappy, Sapphire, you’ve always been there for me. So, thank you.”

Sapphire chuckled, giving me a light shove with her wing. “Yeah, well… darn, I don’t have anything witty to say to that. So, you’re welcome.” She paused and then smiled even wider. “You owe me, though.”

I laughed, shoving her right back, “Owe you? That’s not very friendship of you, Corporal!”

“Friends can owe friends one! It’s very friendship!” Sapphire protested, giggling. “Come on, Dusky, back me up.”

Dusky shook his head, standing up and shifting his wings, stretching them out as much as he could. “I think the moment has passed for the sincere heart-to-heart. I’m going to lie down and rest, I’ve got the worst sore back from those yetis piling on top of me.”

Sapphire and I shared a smile before I got to my feet as well. “Well, nothing really to do but rest and wait. Maybe the Storm King will get bored and decide to pull me back out for another chat or something.”

I was brought back before the Storm King just as the sun was setting. The windows of the throne room were filled with a dim golden light, and the Storm King sat on the throne with a cocky smirk. “Oh hey, if it isn’t Grand Bolas.”

The Yeti guard dragging me kicked the back of my knee, forcing me to kneel. I frowned up at the Storm King. He snickered. “I’ve gotten some great news. I figured you’d be excited to see this little moment here, because I wanted to show you the power of my staff.” He reached to the side of the throne, raising up a black staff with a massive white crystal at the top. “Remember how I said that I’d outclass you? Well, this is the moment. Your cute little artifact is going to look like a toy compared to this bad boy!” He stood up with a smile and gestured towards the rear doors. “Bring her in!”

The doors opened and a group of Yeti guards entered, followed by Commander Tempest, leading a wagon pulled by two chained ponies. The ponies strained against the weight of the wagon, and I felt my hands clench into fists, seeing them treated like mere beasts. I had to bite my lip when I saw what the wagon was carrying.

The wagon carried a massive iron cage, inside of which sat Twilight Sparkle. I tried to keep my face impassive, feeling a mixture of shock, relief, and worry. She was alive! That meant…

“Just as you ordered, my liege,” Commander Tempest said, a cocksure smirk on her muzzle. Her red mohawk mane was a bit mussed, but otherwise she looked like she was fresh from a long rest. How could she stay so well put together in the middle of a warzone? She obviously was a tougher customer than I gave her credit for.

The Storm King approached Twilight’s cage, and I grit my teeth, willing him to drop dead on the spot. I hoped that he wouldn’t do anything to her, otherwise I’d have trouble controlling myself. He looked her over and snickered. “And what are you supposed to be?”

Twilight stared up at him bravely, though I could see her knees trembling. “I’m the Princess of Friendship.”

The Storm King snorted, laughing and shaking his head. “Of course you are!” His smirk turned angry as he rounded on Tempest. “Why is this one still moving?!”

“She and her friends put up a bit of a fight, but she’s alone now. She won’t be a problem,” Tempest replied, casting a cruel smirk at Twilight.

Twilight grimaced. “Tempest, you don’t have to do this.”

Tempest glared back at Twilight, teal eyes menacing. “I do, Princess. Did you think you could keep your magic all to yourself?” She snorted. “It’s time to learn to share.”

Twilight winced and looked away, her ears falling flat, and her gaze traveled to me. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she bit her lip, seeing me bound and on my knees. I gave her a quick grin, but said nothing. She read my situation quickly, because of course she did, the little egghead. I kept my face impassive, and she looked away, though I could see her struggling to ignore me. She was obviously worried for me.

The Storm King chuckled, stalking away from Twilight to stand between the cage and where I was kneeling. “Learn to share. Nice. Anyway, Tempest, I was thinking about current problems we have.” He gestured over to me, an imperious look on his face. “Did you know the princesses hired a wizard to help protect them?”

Tempest turned to regard me with a critical eye, and frowned. “I wasn’t aware.”

“Then why do I keep you around, Tempest?! It’s your job to be aware!” The Storm King snarled, rounding on her with a dangerous look in his eye.

Tempest stiffened to attention, eyes ahead. “I’m sorry, sire. This was an oversight.”

“He had a powerful artifact! It could have jeopardized everything I’ve been working towards,” he reached into the belt around his waist, withdrawing my gun from where he’d tucked it, showing it to Tempest.

“They obviously kept him secret, my liege. It won’t happen again,” Tempest spoke calmly, but I could hear the undercurrent of worry in her voice. She cast me a glance, eyes briefly curious, but then returned her gaze to the Storm King.

“See that it doesn’t. I’ve got enough problems that I need to deal with.” He shoved the gun back into his belt and turned, marching into the center of the circle of frozen princesses. “Watch him. I’ve got some magic to steal.”

Tempest approached me as the Storm King raised up the staff. I grit my teeth and rocked forward on my knees, rolling into a crouch as the Yeti guard behind me grunted. I lashed out with a kick, catching the Yeti in the knee and sending it crashing to the floor. I got to my feet just in time for Commander Tempest to rush me with an angry growl. I brought my hands up to catch a spinning kick from Tempest, the force sending me sprawling back on my ass. Shit!

The Storm King noticed my struggle and snarled, pausing whatever he was about to do. “Tempest, handle him!”

I rolled to the side as Tempest leapt up and stomped down on me, just barely getting out of the way. She turned and I gripped my manacle chains with both hands, spinning it to lash out at her face. She backstepped and then jumped forward, and her horn sparked.

BOOM

I didn’t even really see what happened, but it was somewhat reminiscent of getting shot. The flash of light dazzled my eyes and I felt that I was flying backwards. I grunted as my back smashed into something, maybe a wall, and collapsed to my hands and knees. My spine ached and my knees went numb as pain shot down my back from where I’d hit the wall.

“Jake!” I heard Twilight yell in concern and fear.

I blinked hard, trying to get the dancing lights of pain out of my eyes as pulses of it sparked from my back, but then Tempest was right there, delivering a harsh kick to my side. I grunted and collapsed the rest of the way, and she pushed a hard hoof into the small of my back, pushing down and pinning me as I gasped for air.

The Storm King snorted. “I’m so over this. Give me that power!” He raised the staff again, and brought it down into the center of the rune circle.

The crystal atop the staff glowed with blue light, and hitherto unseen runes cascaded along the floor, creating a larger magic circle that surrounded the four princesses. Light poured from each of their horns, and I heard Twilight cry out in anguish. I tried to raise my head higher, trying to see what was happening to Twilight, but Tempest pressed down on my back harder. “Stay down, wizard.”

She was crushing the breath from me. I growled and managed to hiss out, “Leave her alone.”

“Too late for that,” Tempest murmured, her eyes on the spectacle.

The Staff of Sacanas glowed with light as it absorbed all of the magic within the four princesses, drawing it into the crystal until it was blue-hot with arcane energy. The waves of energy filled the room and were pulled into the staff. It was over in a moment, the magic inside the staff, and I saw Twilight let out a little gasp before collapsing. I squirmed, trying to do something, but Tempest just growled and pressed down again, making me wheeze.

The Storm King chuckled, staring up at the glowing crystal in his staff with hungry eyes. “Oh yes. Let’s get this storm started!” He raised up the staff and aimed it at Twilight. It flashed with blue energy, and a beam of pure arcane force blew apart the cage and launched Twilight flying through the air, through the door at the far end of the room, and onto the balcony outside.

I felt Tempest stiffen in surprise as her boss launched Twilight across the room. I shot her a glare. “Do you feel like a big mare, now?”

“Shut up,” she muttered, stepping off of me and trotting after the Storm King. I rolled onto my side, wincing, and tried to catch my breath.

I could hear them arguing up on the balcony, but it was hard to hear. My chest hurt like I’d broken a rib, and I couldn’t get a solid breath. It felt like my eyes weren’t working, dark and light clashing in my vision. I looked around and realized that the shadows were literally shifting and moving. I closed my eyes, willing my swimming head to calm and the room to refocus. It took me a while to feel up to moving again.

I finally managed to get to my knees, wincing, and looked around for anything I could use as a weapon, or maybe something to even the odds. I found a large piece of Twilight’s cage, a slightly curved iron bar, and grabbed it, using it to help me get to my feet. My chest ached and I noticed that the cuts on my stomach had been opened again, and my shirt was starting to get even more stained with blood, plus a scorch mark where Tempest’s magic had blasted me.

Rarity was going to be furious.

I let the thought of the fit she’d throw at seeing the state of my clothes push me forward towards the balcony, step by slow step. I paused at the ragged hole in the wall that had been left behind after the Storm King had blasted Twilight, leaning against the stone, and peered outside to see what was happening. Tempest and Twilight stood at the railing to the balcony, and the Storm King stood right behind them. Twilight looked… happy? And Tempest was furious. “This is impossible.”

“That’s my friends. Doing the impossible for friendship,” Twilight said with a grin.

“Friendship sure looks a lot like violence,” The Storm King muttered, deadpan. “I’m so totally over this cute pony thing. This ends now!” He raised the Staff of Sacanas into the air with a wicked laugh.

The staff shot bolts of blue arcane lightning into the sky above Canterlot, pulling the clouds down and forming a funnel cloud in mere seconds. I gawked at it, and realized that he hadn’t been bluffing about the power of the staff. “Qué cabrón,” I swore, stepping out of the hole and limping towards him.

The Storm King watched the winds whip around Canterlot, laughing maniacally, and turned just as I got close. I swung the iron rod, aiming for his face, and he recoiled, raising the staff reflexively to block. My iron pole hit the staff and the crystal atop it burst with arcana energy. I was launched backwards into the wall, slamming into it brutally. I don’t know how I didn’t pass out from taking a second hit against my back, but spots danced in front of my vision as I struggled to wheeze a breath through my aching lungs. I slid down to my side, and Twilight rushed over to me. “Jake!” She stared down at me, eyes almost tearing up as she reached out and tried to steady me with her hooves.

I grit my teeth, my whole body aching, and cracked one eye open. “H-hey Twilight.”

Twilight grimaced, carefully helping me sit up, propping me up against the wall. “Hang in there, okay? Our friends are coming.”

I closed my eyes, trying to get a decent breath, but the slam into the wall had knocked the wind out of me. As I struggled, the wind increased in power, the air whipping at the balcony, the eye of the storm centered on the staff. The Storm King laughed, exulting at the power he wielded. “Do you see? Now I truly am the Storm King! The entire world will cower at my feet and bow to my power!” He laughed, casting a glance at me. “Suck on that, Grand Bolas!”

Despite my joke name paying dividends, I couldn’t muster a laugh through my wheezing. Commander Tempest approached the Storm King and bowed her head before him. “Yes, yes, you are every bit as powerful as I promised, sire, now,” she looked up at him plaintively, “restore my horn, and I swear to use my magic to serve you.” She bowed again.

I looked her over again, seeing her bow before the Storm King, and in that moment I realized that Tempest was living the life I’d given up when I’d been brought to Equestria. It was strange, in that moment, seeing a reflection of my choices on another person’s life. I felt just the smallest bit sorry for her.

The Storm King laughed hard, shoving her out of the way as he approached the balcony railing to overlook his brewing storm. “Who cares about your dinky little unicorn horn?”

Tempest looked shocked. “B-but… we had an agreement!” She stood and rushed into his way, looking up at him with fear. It was a fear I remembered all too well: the fear that all your bad choices, all your rationalizations, had been for nothing.

“Get with the program, Tempest!” The Storm King snarled, looming over her. “I used you.” Tempest’s jaw fell open, betrayal writ large across her face. The Storm King smiled cruelly, and gave a casual shrug. “It’s kind of what I do.”

Then he leveled the staff at Tempest. I wasn’t surprised, and even Tempest had the wherewithal to only be slightly shocked. With a snarl, the Storm King’s staff lit up and began shooting blast after blast of blue energy at her. Twilight gasped, turning away from me to watch. I bit my lip to fight the pain and I worked to get my feet under me, coming to a crouch. I didn’t know how this was going to go, but I wanted to try and be ready to help in some way.

Tempest dodged left and right, leaping away from the blasts, and her horn lit up. She shot a burst of chaotic arcane energy just as the Storm King sent a lance of blue lightning at her head. The magic collided between them and exploded, sending the Storm King flying into the far side of the balcony and launching Tempest into the air. The Storm King went down hard, face-first in the stone. Tempest was caught by the edge of the tornado spiraling just at the edge of the balcony and picked up by the howling winds. She barely managed to catch herself on the railing, clinging to it even as her rear legs flailed helplessly.

I looked to the Storm King, seeing him struggle to recover, dazed by the blast. Tempest scrabbled at the balcony railing as the wind picked her up, the hurricane that the Storm King had summoned threatening to pull her into the sky. I could see Twilight doing the same mental math that I was, weighing the opportunity to go for the staff or go to save Tempest as she started to slide into the air, her teal eyes wide and frightened.

I stared at Tempest, and then looked to Twilight. “Get the staff.”

Twilight shook her head, smiling at me with a grim determination. “No. We go together.”

I nodded and got to my feet, and Twilight and I staggered through the wind, reaching Tempest just as she lost her grip on the edge of the rail. I lunged forward alongside Twilight, and we caught her by the hooves. Tempest stared at us, shocked. “W-why are you saving me?”

I found a smirk deep inside, and let it out despite the pain my body was in. “I used to be like you, before I met these ponies. They taught me a lot.”

Twilight pulled Tempest in closer, smiling at her. “I taught him everything he knows about friendship… and I think you could learn, too.”

There was a boom like thunder from the square below us. With a heave, we pulled Tempest back onto the balcony, and we fell in a heap together, limbs tangled. Twilight and I sat up with a wince.

“Aw, isn’t that sweet?”

We looked up just as the Storm King loomed over us, leveling the Staff of Sacanas at us. I tried to lunge at him, but he backstepped. “You lose!” he said, leering at me as he took aim with the staff. There was nowhere to go, so I threw my arms out wide, trying to block his shot to Twilight and Tempest. He gleefully aimed at my heart.

Then a ball of ponies and one small dragon slammed into The Storm King. I gasped as Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Spike… and Rarity… bowled into him from out of the sky, launching him back through the door and sending the staff flying. The ponies were scattered by the impact, most flying inside through the hole in the wall, and I found myself knocked over by Spike as he went skidding across the ground. I caught him, curling around him defensively as the inertia of his bounce sent us sliding together for a foot or two. Spike blinked, shaking his head as he got his bearings. He looked up at me with surprise. “Jake?”

“Spike,” I gasped, sitting up and wincing. “Holy mother, what did you do? Launch yourselves out of a cannon?!”

“It was Pinkie’s idea!” Spike said hurriedly, getting to his feet and looking around.

Twilight was on her hooves in a flash, and she grabbed Spike and gave him a hug. “Spike! You’re safe!”

Spike hugged her back. “Twilight! No time for hugs, we need to get the staff!”

Twilight released him, nodding. “Right! Let’s go!”

They rushed inside, and I slowly got to my feet. I took a staggering step forward, my every bone aching, but then a steadying hoof braced my side and Commander Tempest leaned against me, supporting me as I walked. I looked down at her with a bit of surprise, but she stared ahead. “Thanks?”

“You saved me first,” she said quietly.

I managed a smirk, and together we walked after Twilight and her friends, entering the palace proper. The staff had stuck in the stained glass window at the far end, and was sending arcs of arcane energy everywhere. I flinched as the blasts of untamed energy struck the ceiling, and the roof began to cave in. Tempest and I were forced to duck back as massive pieces of stone fell around us, and I crouched over her protectively. She looked up at me with surprise. “Why are you doing this?”

I looked down at her, grimacing. “I told you. I used to be like you.”

She stared up at me, emotions crossing her features quickly. Confusion, fear, self-doubt. I reached down as the rubble stopped falling, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Trust these ponies, Tempest. They helped me, and I was just as bad as you, once.”

Tempest looked down at her hooves, biting her lip, and then raised her head, looking across the room. The rubble had stacked up on one side, and the Storm King was climbing up the fallen stone towards the Staff of Sacanas as it sent bursts of energy up into the open sky through the hole in the room, causing the whirling winds to intensify. Below him, six mares and one baby dragon had formed a living rope, grabbing one-another hoof-to-tail, and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were using their wings to steer them into the wind. Twilight was at the tip of this improvised aerial maneuver, and was mere feet from the staff, but the Storm King was gaining on her.

We were too far away to do anything, but I still straightened up as best I could. “Come on, help me get over there.”

Tempest supported me, and we took a few steps forward before we heard a crash. I looked up again, just in time to see the Storm King explode through the stained glass window, grabbing the Staff of Sacanas. Twilight lunged, escaping from Pinkie Pie’s grip, and grabbed the staff in her hooves, pulling it away from the Storm King. The wild wind howled and caught both the Storm King and Twilight, and they were pulled up into the dark clouds. I gasped, staring as I heard Pinkie Pie let out an anguished wail. “Twilight! No…!”

I watched Twilight disappear up into the funnel of the tornado, disappearing from view in an instant. I grit my teeth, staring at the spot where she’d disappeared into. Rainbow Dash angled her wings and brought the line of mares to the floor. Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Spike sank down, gathering on the spot before the shattered window, staring up into the sky.

I felt my hands clench into fists. “Come on, Twilight. Come on.” I searched the sky desperately. I could feel Tempest gazing intently as well, felt her trembling with anxiety. The winds stilled suddenly, the eye of the hurricane slowing and finally stopping. I heard Pinkie sob, and I bit my lip, feeling my eyes well with tears as well.

Then, a light from above. Golden and glowing, the sun pierced the clouds and started to dissolve the black shadows over Canterlot. The warm rays backlit none other than Twilight Sparkle as she glided on wide wings, her expression almost serene as she floated towards the balcony. Pinkie let out a whoop of joy, and I watched as they rushed to meet her. I wiped my eyes, feeling a laugh of my own bubbling up, and I let it go, smiling as I leaned on Tempest and let her help me across the rubble-strewn room.

By the time we reached the balcony, a group hug was well underway, and I paused, taking in the scene with a smile. They were all alive and safe. My gaze settled on Rarity as she looked up from Twilight’s shoulder, her eyes widened in surprise. “Jake?”

“Hey, Rarity,” I said, glancing down at Tempest and giving her shoulder a quick squeeze in thanks, before stepping away from her.

Rarity rushed to me, her eyes wide as she stopped just short of me, and I sank down to my knees in front of her. She put a hoof on my chest, looking me over and taking in my disheveled state. “Jake, what in Equestria happened to you, darling?! Are you all right?”

I chuckled, wincing as my ribs ached. “Sorry I messed up your shirt. I’m going to need a recommendation for a dry cleaning place.”

Rarity looked over me in distress, her ears flat as she looked up at me. “Shirt?! That’s all you’re worried about?!”

“I was mostly worried about you,” I said quietly, reaching out to catch her cheek with my palm.

She bit her lip, leaning towards me, but something caught my eye. Movement.

The Storm King was hauling himself over the balcony rail, murder in his eyes. He reached into his belt and pulled out my gun, aiming it at Twilight. “Oh shit,” I gasped.

I grabbed Rarity and pulled her behind me, shielding her with my body. This was going to make a mess, and I was too far away to do anything for Twilight or any of the others… not that it mattered. Tempest was there, leaping over them, shouting a warning. “Look out!”

The Storm King pulled the trigger, and the jammed round inside detonated. The pistol exploded, sending shrapnel flying everywhere. I flinched away, grimacing as a tiny piece of metal sliced my back. Tempest, standing in front of the explosion, was struck by something that made her gasp and stagger. The Storm King screamed as his hand shattered, sending him cartwheeling off the balcony. The sound he made when he hit the ground made me shudder.

So much for nopony or yeti dying.

The silence in the wake of that violent moment stretched, and Tempest sank to her knees. I saw red blood flowing down her front, and I got to my feet. “She’s hit!”

Twilight was beside Tempest in an instant, steadying her. “Oh, no no no!”

Tempest gasped for breath, her eyes wide as blood seeped from the hole in her chest. The armor had been punched clean through. I reached her side and dropped to my knees next to her, looking at the wound. “Shit. It looks like the bullet punched through the blockage and managed to exit the barrel. Twilight, you’ve gotta do something fast.”

“I can’t believe she did that,” Rainbow Dash murmured, staring wide-eyed as Tempest whimpered and bled.

“I can,” Twilight said, her expression determined, and she grabbed the Staff of Sacanas, aiming it at Tempest.

“Wait, will that thing work?!” I asked hurriedly, looking at Twilight.

“It’s got the power of four alicorns inside it. If it can’t do anything, nothing can,” Twilight said with a determined look in her eyes. Her expression was focused as she channeled a spell through the staff, and orange energy flowed out of the crystal, swirling around Tempest’s body and focusing on the hole in her chest.

The bleeding stopped in an instant, and a flattened lead piece pushed its way out of the wound, falling to the ground with a little metallic clink. The hole in Tempest’s chest closed, and her breathing immediately came easier. The magic dissipated, and Tempest was left unscathed. Twilight breathed a sigh of relief, and then aimed the staff at me. The orange magic flowed into me in an instant, and I experienced the utterly weird sensation of feeling your bones knit back together and your flesh regenerate in mere seconds. I shivered as it faded, and I got to my feet carefully. “Thanks, Twilight.”

Twilight smiled at me, and then looked at each of her friends, checking that they were unhurt. I turned my attention to Rarity, and she smiled at me, leaning against my side. I rested a hand on her shoulder, content to keep her close in the moment.

Fluttershy was the first to speak up, her blue eyes worried. “Now what?”

The girls shared a look, and Twilight turned to look at Tempest. Tempest smiled, getting to her hooves. “Now… we fix everything.”

That was certainly a presumptuous line, but I decided not to question it. She was trying to make amends, and this would be the moment to start. We all followed Tempest down into the throne room and approached the center of the room, where the three crystalized alicorns stood among the ruin. Tempest peered over the runes on the floor carefully, and nodded to Twilight. “All that you need to do is put the crystal into the center of the rune circle, and the magic should invert.”

Twilight smiled at Tempest, and offered her the Staff of Sacanas. “You should do the honors.”

Tempest blinked. “Me?”

Twilight nodded. “I think it’s fitting. This is the start of undoing the harm you’ve done.”

Tempest looked uncertain, but she reached out and took the staff, holding it in her hooves and staring at it. I knew what she was thinking. All the power of four alicorns at her hooves. I wondered what she’d do.

She raised the staff high and plunged the crystal into the center of the magic rune circle. All at once, multicolored arcane energy burst from the crystal, empowering the runes and sending rainbows of light swirling around the room. The energy focused on the statuesque alicorns, flowing into them first. The black crystal glowed with harmonic magic and then broke away, leaving Princess Luna, Princess Celestia, and Princess Cadance gasping and shaking off the effects of the crystal. The magic also flowed back into Twilight Sparkle, and she couldn’t help but smile happily, her wings spreading open wide as the magic flowed back into her. Celestia was the first to recover, her eyes settling on her beloved student. “Twilight!”

“Celestia!” Twilight rushed to her mentor, hugging her tightly. Luna and Cadence joined the hug, the four princesses reunited. As they embraced, the harmonic magic flowed out from the crystal and the rubble actually began to rise off the floor, knitting back together and undoing the damage to the palace. The roof came back together with a glow of magic, whole again, and light streamed through the rebuilt stained glass windows. I felt my eyebrows raise up in surprise. I guess Tempest had been right about ‘fixing everything’.

I looked down at Rarity and she gazed up at me, smiling happily. “What a lovely sight,” she said softly, her blue eyes wide.

I looked up, taking in the magic as it swirled around the stones. “It’s pretty cool,” I ventured, feeling my heart beating hard in my chest.

Rarity smirked and tugged on my arm, pulling me down to her level, and she stared into my eyes. “I wasn’t talking about the magic.”

I smirked, trying to quell the slight burst of embarrassed panic in my chest. “I know.”

She blushed, leaning forward slightly. We were close, now, and drifting closer, pulled towards one another by the power of the moment. “This ‘will-we, won’t-we’ situation has gone on long enough, hasn’t it?” She asked, her ears perking up towards me.

My smirk widened into a smile, and I rested my forehead against hers, looking into her eyes. “Probably.” I tried to sound casual, but it came out embarrassingly husky and emotional.

Rarity chuckled, her blue eyes locked with mine. Her beautiful eyes. “You know, there were a number of times I nearly died on this latest adventure, and every time I had this funny thought,” she said quietly. I could hear her own anxiety at this moment in the tremble of her voice. It was comforting to realize she was feeling the same as I was.

“Yeah?” I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, pulling her close. Her coat was soft on my fingers, and I could feel her shaking with a little bit of nerves.

“I kept thinking, ‘If I die here, I’ll regret never telling Jake how much he means to me’. Isn’t that something?” She was at a whisper, her words for me alone. I could smell only lilac.

“It sure is,” I murmured. “You know, I’d be lying if I didn’t consider giving you what you wanted.”

“Oh?” Her ears perked forward at the words, the remembrance of the last time I’d said them making her eyes shimmer with emotion.

“This time, Rarity?” I swallowed, feeling my anxiety dip as I said what I wanted to say. “I’m all yours.”

Rarity giggled softly, a happy sound that made my heart skip a beat. She pressed forward, and I met her lips with mine, and held her close as we kissed. She was soft, hesitant at first, but then passionate, her hooves catching my shoulders and holding on. I closed my eyes, content to feel her against me and know that she was safe, we were safe, and we could figure out the rest later. This moment was all that mattered.

When we came up for air, breathless and blushing, I heard a chorus of giggles and coos. I looked over Rarity’s shoulder, and she turned to face her friends and the princesses of Equestria. Rarity’s cheeks reddened in a blush, and she fanned herself with one hoof. “Oh dear. We’ve attracted an audience.”

I laughed and reached up to her cheek, turning her back to face me. “I don’t care. Do you?”

Rarity laughed, her ears perking up and her hooves gripping onto me for dear life. “Not a bit, darling.”

I kissed her again, putting all my emotions into the movement of lips against lips, the nuzzle of her nose against mine, the softness of her coat beneath my hands. It was a shorter kiss, but it still left my heart beating hard, and Rarity’s expression was one of blushing passion. I leaned forward and planted an extra kiss on her nose, making her giggle. I reluctantly let her go, and she got back onto her hooves, running a hoof through her mane in a nervous little move that made me laugh. “Your mane is fine.”

“I’m quite sure it’s a mess, darling, but it’s kind of you to say so,” Rarity said with a laugh, leaning against my side.

I kept my hand on her shoulder as we approached the rest of the group. Pinkie Pie was a giggling mess, grinning up at me. “Wowie-zowie, Jake. It only took you, like, six years to kiss the mare!”

“Pinkie, it’s been like… a month,” Rainbow Dash said with a chuckle.

“Well it feels like years!” Pinkie quipped right back, bouncing on her hooves. “Time works differently for Party Ponies!”

I reached out and ruffled Pinkie’s fluffy mane, sending a shower of candy, power tools, and silverware flying every which way. “You’re insane.”

Pinkie beamed up at me, her blue eyes shimmering. “Insane good?”

“Absolutely,” I replied, grinning at her as she pumped her hoof and did a little victory dance.

Twilight stepped over to me with a smile. “Nice work, Jake.”

I couldn’t decide what she meant when she’d said ‘nice work’, but I figured it wasn’t about the kiss. “I probably could have done more. I’ve got quite a story to tell.” I blinked, realizing something. “Oh, damn, I almost forgot. We should probably let everypony out of the dungeon, and go get the ponies hiding in Joe’s Cafe. They’re all down there still.”

Twilight’s grin widened, her tail wagging happily. “I meant the kiss.”

I rolled my eyes, giving her a brief smile. “Yeah, thanks. Anyway, captured and hiding ponies?”

Twilight snickered but allowed me to change the subject. “Oh, that’s first on the list. That and letting everypony out of the cages, and cleaning up the mess, and making sure the Storm King’s Stormguard are captured. There’s just so much to do!”

Spike popped up next to Twilight, smiling at her. “I’ll need to get some scrolls if we’re making lists.”

Twilight grinned at Spike, nuzzling him on top of his head and making him blush. “We’ll definitely need to start a list soon.”

I turned my attention to Princess Celestia, who stepped over to me with a proud smile on her face. Her ethereal mane flowed brightly in the lights cast by the harmonic magics of the staff, and she gave me a regal nod. “Well done, Jake.”

I straightened up, meeting her gaze with pride. “Thanks, Princess. The guards and I did the best we could, but—”

“Not that, you silly human,” Celestia said with a soft laugh. “I meant just now.”

I looked down at Rarity, who looked like she was about to faint, her face practically glowing beet red. I chuckled and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze, and she relaxed about one fraction of a percent. “That’s been a long time coming, Princess.”

“Be that as it may, I’m still proud of you,” Celestia said, stepping forward and wrapping a wing around my shoulders. The big mare pulled me into a hug, her smile wide. It wasn’t every day that you got hugged by a goddess, so I leaned into it, wrapping my arms around her neck and just taking in the moment. Celestia spoke quietly to me, “I had moments where I worried for you, but you’ve come a long way from the man we pulled from another world.”

“I have you to thank, in part, Princess. So… thank you,” I said, feeling a bit of emotion making my voice tight. It felt good to be at what I hoped was the end of this harrowing event, and I leaned into Celestia and just let her warmth wash over me.

Celestia and I stepped apart after a moment, and she looked down to Rarity. A small smirk played across her features. “Not exactly a prince, is he?”

Rarity giggled, “I think I’ve grown out of that phase, Princess.”

“Good,” Celestia said with a wink, before turning to speak with the other princesses, taking charge as she always did.

I looked around and noticed that most of the other ponies were busy, barring Tempest, who stood apart and looked on with a pensive expression. I looked down at Rarity and she looked up at me with a curious expression. I cast my gaze towards Tempest and she understood, nodding to me with a smile. “Go help.”

I stepped away from Rarity reluctantly and approached Tempest. “Tempest,” I said, breaking her out of whatever thoughts were swirling in her head. I felt like I knew what she was thinking in that moment, worrying over how she’d ever atone for the things she’d done. It would be different for her than it was for me; she’d actively worked against Equestria. She was fighting an uphill battle.

Tempest looked up at me and a faint smile crossed her muzzle. “Hello, uh, Jake,” she said, her voice betraying her nerves. Her ears twitched down, hesitating as she looked me in the eye. “I… noticed that seems to be your real name.”

I realized the opportunity she’d just dropped into my lap and I smiled wide. “Oh, yeah. I told the Storm King a fake name. It actually means ‘huge testicles’ in my language.”

Tempest blinked hard, her ears falling flat, and then she actually snorted in amusement. “Are you serious?”

“Absolutely,” I said, chuckling. She snorted again, the corners of her mouth quivering, and soon she was chuckling along with me. I laughed, allowing the moment to stretch, but she regained her composure first. It didn’t matter, though, because I’d accomplished my job; calming her down a bit. Now for the next part.

I cleared my throat. “Why don’t you help me get my friends out of the dungeon?” I offered, pointing down the hallway. “I have a feeling there’s probably some Yetis down there that’ll need to be convinced to surrender. Think you’re up for it?”

Tempest seemed surprised I’d want her to help with anything, but she gave a nod. “That’s something I can do. All this,” she gestured with one hoof, her ears going flat as she looked out over the ponies who were chattering amicably and hugging as they shared their stories, “isn’t exactly my style.”

I smiled at the gathered ponies, taking in the moment of reconnection and friendship. “You’ll get used to it. Hell, maybe you’ll even come to love it.” I found my smile widening as I watched Rarity laugh at some comment Rainbow Dash had made, my eyes lingering on her for an extra moment. She caught my gaze and shot me a wink. I gave her a little wave, and pointed towards the hallway that lead to the dungeons. She nodded in understanding. She had her own business to attend to here, and I could sneak off while she did… whatever they were planning.

I lead Tempest down the halls, following through several heavier doors and down a few flights of stairs before I arrived at the basement floor where the holding cells were located. There were a gaggle of Yeti guards there, gesturing to each other and arguing, but they froze when I came down the stairs. Tempest stepped out in front of me quickly, her face taking on a stern demeanor. “Attention!”

The yetis snapped-to, saluting Tempest quickly. Tempest stared them down for a long moment before speaking. “I’m here to let you know that we’re under new management. The Storm King is dead.”

They Yetis cast glances at each other, but didn’t move. Tempest marched up to stand in front of them, frowning up at them. For such a small pony, she exuded a powerful commanding aura. “I’ll be taking command of the Stormguard, and I want all of you to treat the ponies with respect. They fought honorably, and it is our turn to show them that we are disciplined and honorable as well.”

All of the yetis hesitated before saluting again, and Tempest stamped a hoof, making them jump. “I don’t want any hesitation. We have work to do. Go and release all the prisoners we have down here, and anywhere else as well. I want them all taken upstairs to the main square and released there. Report any injured creatures immediately. If a Equestrian princess or guard pony gives you orders, they should be obeyed, understood?”

The Yetis saluted again, no hesitation, and then scrambled off, unlocking and throwing open doors as they went in different directions. I walked over to the cell where I’d been held before, peeking inside. Sapphire and Dusky were on their feet, staring at the door, and their eyes widened in surprise and ears perked up as they saw me look in. I smirked. “Fight’s over.”

Sapphire grinned, her tail lashing with excitement. “Judging by how you’re standing in front of us, we won?”

“Yeah. We won. Princesses are safe. Twilight and all her friends showed up and saved the day, as usual. Tempest and I helped,” I explained, stepping back as Sapphire, Dusky, and the rest followed me. They froze when they saw Tempest, eyes narrowing. Tempest winced, looking nervous, but I held up a hand. “Hey, hold up. I told you, Tempest helped. She almost died protecting Twilight Sparkle. I think that earns her some leeway, right?”

Dusky frowned at me, and then approached Tempest. “Commander Tempest, I’m sure my superiors will have questions for you, and we will likely need to do a formal debrief. I’m assuming you’re cooperating?”

Tempest nodded. “Yes. I have authority over the Stormguard, the Storm King’s soldiers, and I can order them to help. They might not be as well disciplined as you, but they’re still soldiers. It’s the least I can do to help after everything I’ve done.”

Sapphire stepped up beside Dusky, her wings bristling and eyes narrowed. “It’s a start.”

I put a hand on Sapphire’s back. “Hey, okay. We’re all big tough ponies here, no need to start measuring wingspan against horn size—sorry, Tempest—right now. We need to work together to get things cleaned up. The Yetis need to be commanded, and Tempest is their commander. Otherwise we’re probably going to have more fights on our hands. Nobody wants that.”

Tempest shot me a brief, embarrassed glance and then nodded. “He’s right. I can stop any possible resistance. The Stormguard listen to me.”

Dusky nodded. “This seems prudent. Let’s see if we can’t figure out how best to use you, Tempest.”

“Hold up!” An angry voice barked from the side, and Tempest froze on the spot. Dusky and Sapphire snapped to attention instantly, and even I felt a little shiver go up my spine.

Major Scope trotted down one of the dungeon hallways, his ears high and quivering with anger, and his tail lashing. His frown was even more impressively frown-y than I figured was possible. He stepped up to Tempest, glaring at her. He was bandaged in several places and had a splint on one leg, but nothing seemed to be capable of slowing him down in that moment. He was nose-to-nose with the former enemy commander, glaring her down, and she met his gaze.

I watched, wondering what was about to happen. It seemed that Major Scope had some unfinished business. Even Sapphire and Dusky seemed to be holding their breaths, staring at Scope. The Major cleared his throat, “I hear Jake right? You almost died protecting Twilight Sparkle?”

Tempest hesitated, her ears folding back and her hooves shifting. “Ah… yes. I did.”

Scope glared, staring into her eyes for a long moment. “Well then.” The frown shifted into a small smile, and he tapped a hoof to Tempest’s chest plate. “Good work.”

Tempest was too stunned to respond, and Scope turned on his hoof and walked away, heading for the throne room. He paused, not turning around, but we could hear him clearly. “I’m gonna want a rematch eventually. You gave me the tightest run for my money in years.” That said, he marched out of sight.

I raised an eyebrow and looked at Tempest. She had a bit of red on her cheeks, and her horn gave a little spark. “What was that?” I asked, grinning like a fox in a henhouse.

“I… don’t know?” Tempest muttered, looking away with a frown and a little huff.

I chuckled, watching her try to get her emotions under control. “I think you and Major Scope are friends now.”

Tempest looked up at me, eyes wide and confused. “Is that what that was?” Her ears tilted forward a bit, betraying her interest.

“I think so,” I said with a shrug, casting a glance down the hallway that Scope had left from. “I guess you’ll find out.”

Tempest let out an annoyed groan, tail lashing. “What’s with these ponies and forgiving me so easily? Aren’t I supposed to work for it?”

Sapphire, Dusky, and I shared an amused look. Sapphire giggled. “Oh, she sounds just like you.”

“It’s weird, right?” I said with a chuckle, but I realized we had other things to attend to. I put a hand on Dusky’s shoulder. “So, what’s next?”

Dusky shrugged, his leathery wings relaxing a bit now that the Major was out of view. “Well… we’re free, now. And Major Scope and the other officers are, too. It’s time to rally and see what needs to be done.”

I nodded, gesturing to the group to follow me, and I lead them towards the throne room. “I suppose it is. We’ve got a lot of work to do.”

Sapphire stepped up beside me, grinning, her wings fanning open. “Don’t worry, Jake. We’ve got this.”

I grinned right back, matching her sudden burst of enthusiasm. I’d probably feel that good too, knowing that we’d won the day and Equestria was safe. “Yeah. We’ve got this together.”

Author's Notes:

Well, never say never. It took six years, but the dude and the horse finally smooched. I hope the wait's been worth it!

It's wild to consider that for the last two and a half years I've written basically zero horsewords, and then in the span of two weeks I've written 30,000. It's been a good feeling, though. I missed this, missed the fun of writing the cute friendship ponies, the ease of being in a world where the violence doesn't have to be extreme or have realistic consequences. I tried to balance things, but ultimately I wanted to try and stay true to the show's ethos regarding violence. It could get intense, but nopony dies except the bad guys, and even then: only off screen! Mostly.

I tend to dislike 'rewrite an episode' type stories, but I'll forgive myself for this one. I wanted to do something with the ending of the film and it would have felt cheap to have Jake be out of things for the rest of the finale. Sure, this isn't a story about our human being a big damn hero, but it is a story that deserves resolution and the film's resolution was a good one. Add some small changes and we've got an interesting re-take combined with a faithful re-telling.

So, that wraps up The Festival of Friendship. Next time, we're back to Slice of Life! Thank Celestia. I think I'm sick of typing the word 'yeti'.

Man Cannot Live On Coffee Alone

by PropMaster

1: But He Certainly Can Try

2: Man Cannot Live On Fine Wine Alone

3: Man Cannot Live On The Night Shift Alone

4: Mare Cannot Live on Secrets Alone

5a: Mornings Alone

5b: Coffee Alone

5c: Under Her Wings

6: Man Cannot Have One Friend Alone

7: Man Cannot Live Without Consequence

8: Man Cannot Meet The Parents Alone

9a: Festival Of Friendship, Part 1

9b: Festival Of Friendship, Interlude

9c: Festival Of Friendship, Part 2

9d: Festival of Friendship Finale