THE OVERGOAT CAN DO ANYTHING... But He Can't Do Everything.
Let me let you in on a little secret.
I know a lot of neat stuff, and one of those neat things is the fact that simple 'mind swaps' are biologically impossible. Or at least, very difficult to do. Why? Simple. When your memories form, they are stored, not as simple electrical impulses, but as a physical cluster of neurons, set to fire in a specific sequence, that being the sequence that created the original experience, in the same area that initiated it. In other words, your mind, and the memories that make you who you are, isn't some signal, ricocheting around in your head, but a solid object, a set of circuits that make up, collectively, the individual know as 'you'. That said, the only real way to transfer a human brain's contents into another person's body is to literally transfer the brain from point A to point B.
How do I know this, and how can I be so confident that it's true? Simple: I learned about it in high school, and while most of my fellow students just immediately forgot about it after the end of the course, I remembered it, and tried testing it. In college, I would eat pizza while I studied. Then, before a test, I'd eat a slice of pizza. It worked, at least for me: It would trigger the memories of what I'd studied, and I could pass the test easily. I gained twenty-five pounds before college was over, but I made the fucking Dean's List. As a bonus, I can call up any information from my time in college any time I want, as long as I can eat a slice of garbage pie. As super powers go, being able to recall all of the information in my college chemistry books by eating pizza is a pretty awesome ability, given how much you can find in the average college chemistry book.
Back to the topic at hand, though: If I was inhabiting Grogar's body, that included his brain, and while I might have had access to all of my memories, I should also be able to access Grogar's memories as well, provided I triggered the right mental sequence.
"Close your eyes," I told Number Thirteen, "and try to relax. This might start feeling a little strange, but I recommend not making any sudden movements, or you may end up with an ear growing out of your forehead."
The mare, her expression a little terrified from that last statement, gave the slightest of nods, and then closed her eyes. I did the same, so I could focus on what I was doing.
In spite of the fact that I behave as if I was, as my mother once said, 'Nuttier than a squirrel asylum,' I am fully capable of logical thought. I just don't do it very often, as it isn't very fun. This time, though, I brushed off the old Logic Box, plugged it up, and started thinking.
I needed memories from when Grogar had healed someone. Even Grogar himself would do. When was Grogar most likely to have healed himself? After he had been injured and was in pain. So, the sequence, ideally, that I needed should be one that was triggered by experiencing pain. I bit the inside of my mouth, which hurt like hell: Grogar's teeth were sharp and pointy, dammit!
But it had the desired effect: Almost immediately, I saw images and heard sounds running through my mind.
----------------------------------------
One thousand years ago, plus a bit.
Grogar huddled behind a large stone, doing his best to discretely watch the battle going on. While his every instinct screamed at him to run, he had to be here. Years of research were all riding on his being present, here and now, at the site of this epic battle.
For this was the final battle between the princesses Luna and Celestia, versus the last of the great Evils.
A bare mile away, upon an empty, blasted waste, the great Evil stood, a monstrous fiend so tall that he dwarfed mountains. Its body was nebulous and black, but when it wished to, it could manifest a solid limb, like an arm, claw, or tentacle, or a dozen other things much harder to give name to. However, as the other Evils had learned, all the strength they possessed was meaningless when faced with the powers of an alicorn.
It might seem strange that the Evils, beings of such great stature, could be defeated by creatures so small. It would be like watching a dragon being defeated by two sparrows. However, alicorns are much more than their size. To continue with the comparison made a moment ago, it was more like a dragon fighting two sparrows... who had the power to level cities with but a single peck of their beaks.
The other Evils were beings built to massive scale, and were adapted to creating massive, wholesale destruction... not precision attacks against a single small, highly mobile, target. They weren't able to fight against creatures so small and yet so mighty. At this point, the battle was more or less a foregone conclusion, but the great Evil was not going to go down quietly.
Grogar's observations were interrupted when a blast of energy missed the Evil, who had managed to contort its mass to evade the beam. The beam hit, not far from Grogar, and shattered another boulder, sending fragments everywhere. One of those fragments struck Grogar right in the flank.
It took all of his willpower to stifle the shout of pain that nearly erupted from his mouth, but he did so. Pain hurt, but as an Evil, he could not truly be slain by such a minor wound, and the injury would heal, over time. He turned his eyes back to the battle, and continued observing.
The great Evil was getting sluggish, the continuous assault taking its toll. Unlike Grogar, who had spent a great deal of time studying all manner of things, including strategies for magical combat, the gigantic Evil had never had need to learn anything, and up until not, had never even had a need to learn how to effectively dodge. While it had started learning at least that one critical skill, it was much too late: The princesses, with a mighty combined attack, struck the evil down, and its body began to dissipate... as did the dark energy within it.
Now was the time...
The bell around Grogar's neck began to activate, the thousands of subtle spells within it creating a connection between itself and the power now being unleashed by the great Evil's death. It would take years, decades even, for the energies to enter the bell, but it would be done in a way so slow and discrete that it would ensure that, to the Princesses who would be studying the dissipation of the dark energies for some time, it seemed only as if the energies were dispersing naturally into the background magical field of the world.
And not just the power of this evil, but also that of the dozens of evils that the princesses had already slain, as well. It might take a century, but Grogar had all the time in the world, and unlike his kin, he'd learned the value of both patience and subtlety.
...His kin.
Looking upon the remains of the last great Evil, Grogar felt a small twinge. It was a feeling that was hard to explain, especially for an entity like himself. Grogar was now the last Evil. There would never be another, now. While he had never gotten along with the others (Getting along being literally impossible for his kind), the defeat of all the other Evils meant that he would never know another like himself. Oh, he might have lackeys, subordinates, perhaps even a trusted lieutenant whose loyalty would be beyond question, but there would never be another being like himself that he could truly ever feel a connection with...
He was distracted from his thoughts by the pain in his flank. The injury would, it seemed, take hours to heal. As the princesses flew away, Grogar considered the possibility that his own natural healing abilities were not enough. It might be a good idea to look into a means of healing himself... and possibly others. The lesser Evil had looked into the possibilty of gaining subordinates, and for some reason, the saving of another's life, or of mending a long-standing injury, was a very quick means by which one can gain the trust and favor of another...
----------------------------
I felt a sensation, that of time passing quickly by, in libraries, in open fields testing spells, and other events, and then things snapped back into clarity.
-----------------------------
Grogar stood in a chamber within the palace of the two princesses, looking upon a donkey who was barely recognizable as Bray.
It struck Grogar as ironic that, for all their wisdom and power, the two alicorns lacked the ability to see what was right in front of them.
Bray had, due to an accident in his youth, been cursed with a bone structure that was in no way correct. His limbs were badly deformed, as was his spine, and his face. With his body like this, he was unable to do work in any meaningful way. So, in order to make a living, he'd learned how to make others laugh. It turned out that he had a talent for it, and before long, he was going from town to town, performing in taverns and in market squares, earning a living. Before long, he caught the attention of the princesses, and soon became court jester.
And yet, in spite of being right in front of the princesses every day, his deformed body easy for them to see, not once had they ever brought up the subject of repairing his injured form... and Bray, still having pride in spite of his current state, could not bring himself to ask it of them. Worse, his condition was having a terrible effect on his health, and in a few years, or perhaps even a few moons, his bones would no longer be able to support his body, given their deformed state, and he'd not longer be able to walk without his spine breaking... and eventually, be unable to breathe without a rib puncturing a lung.
In a lot of ways, ponies (And donkeys and most other creatures, as well) were like machines: If you pulled the right levers, and pushed the right buttons, you could easily get the results that you wanted. Bray would normally never betray the princesses, as he was quite loyal. However, if he were offered the proper incentives...
Everyone, they say, has a price. It is just a question whether or not you have the means of paying it.
"If you will serve me," Grogar stated, putting on an expression of benevolence that he had spent weeks practicing for this moment, "I will mend your body back to the way it should be. Further, you will never need fear another injury, nor illness, nor age, nor even death. I shall make you eternal, unchanging. Will you serve me?"
Bray, his expression one of shock, could only stammer out, "Y-y-yes!"
Grogar worked the spell he had spent decades preparing. It was a spell of light magic, and one that many would assume was beyond an Evil like Grogar. However, just as darkness is not, in and of itself, an evil thing, neither is light, in and of itself, wholly a good thing. Ask the ants underneath the magnifying glass of a small, spiteful colt, to expound upon the virtues of the light, the same light roasting them alive, and you're certain not to get a kind answer. Well, if you could speak ant, that is.
Grogar did not have an affinity for light magic, or healing magic, but that was something he had overcome with constant, diligent practice...
Of course, this went beyond mere healing. It required restructuring the body back into the state that it was meant to be from the beginning. Scientific study had taught Grogar that, within every 'cell' (A word he had invented, as Equines would not reach his level of biological understanding for centuries yet) was a sort of blueprint for how the body was meant to be. Had Bray's state been one he was born with, it would be much more difficult to correct, but since it was the long-term results of a serious injury, it was something much easier to fix.
All Grogar had to do was remind Bray's body of the way it was meant to be, and give it the means of achieving that shape.
As the spell concluded, Bray stood up, and as a courtesy, Grogar used a small spell to bring up a mirror. The donkey that Bray had now become was not handsome, honestly, but attractiveness had not been the point. The point was, for the first time since a mine cart accident had ravaged the young donkey's body, Bray was whole.
Tears streaming down his face, Bray knelt, and in a gesture of ultimate fealty, kissed Grogar's cloven hoof. With but a single, powerful action, Grogar had won Bray's absolute and total loyalty. In just a few hours, Grogar would be able to begin his invasion of Equestria. He would destroy both alicorns, then he would raze every settlement to the ground, put every pony in the nation in chains, and then force them to sow the fields with salt, so that nothing would grow for ages to come. Then, as he conquered the world, in its entirety, he would strike Equestria's name from every book of history, and use his magic to wipe that wretched kingdom's memory from the mind of all creatures, great and small, and even from the minds of the Equestrians themselves. When he was done, none would remember that such a nation even existed. He will have killed Equestria, in its entirety, for all of time.
This, and nothing less, was the price for having destroyed all of the other Evils.
---------------------------------------
I later learned that all of this had transpired in seconds, much faster than I had expected.
As I opened my eyes, I saw a glow of light fading, seeming to have originated from where Grogar's horns were placed. As my eyesight cleared, I looked at Number Thirteen's face.
I let out a small sigh, and admitted, "Well, I'm not completely satisfied with the results. I may be a little rusty with the healing arts."
Number Thirteen's eyes snapped open, and seemed to look around, before finding a spoon that, unlike the wooden one she'd grabbed earlier, was metal, and reflective enough for her to see herself with. As she looked at her face, she gave a little 'Oh' of surprise.
As I said, I wasn't completely satisfied with the results: There was still a scar on Thirteen's face, but it was a thin little thing, that went from the upper left corner of her forehead to the lower right corner of her chin. It was no longer the horrific, grotesque thing that had had marked her before, but more a small, barely perceptible line. Even the eye, which even I had assumed was probably a lost cause, was now a pretty blue to match the other, and from the way that Number Thirteen was acting, seemed to be in full working order.
"I suppose I'll need to give it another attempt, after I've had a chance to get some more practice," I began, then noticed something. "Of course, since the spell wasn't concentrated on just your face..."
Number Thirteen had picked up on it as well, looking over her body with an expression that combined both shock and awe, and with good reason: The spell I'd apparently used while perusing Grogar's memories had not been a focused healing spell, but one designed to mend the body all over. Number Thirteen still had a scar on her face, but it was now the only scar on her body: The others, injuries that had marked a lifetime of servitude, as well as the horrific incident where she'd been whipped for an entire day... were gone.
Perhaps even more surprisingly, she was not quite as waifish as before: Oh, she was still thin, but it was no longer possible to count all of her ribs. Grogar's spell had apparently decided that the gauntness that had come from a lifetime of malnutrition, mistreatment, and hard labor had needed fixing as well, and had done something about it. I couldn't judge pony ages very well, for obvious reasons, but her previous condition had made her look much older than she was. Now, with that scar gone, and the damages done by a lifetime of slavery removed, she looked like she was somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty, maybe a year or two younger or older.
I heard a lot of whispers from the other mares, whom apparently assumed I couldn't hear them. Things along the lines of 'Looks like he's got a new favorite,' or 'Well, we know who will be warming his bed for him,' and other things that I wouldn't want to repeat in polite company... and given that I tend to drop F-Bombs in even the most polite of company just for giggles, that should tell you a lot.
I stopped all the talk by saying, "I'd give all of you ladies that treatment, but I've got a few items still on the agenda today. Still, tomorrow is another day." That brought them all to silence, partly because it meant that all of them might, just might, be turned from famine victims into what might, to my inexperienced eyes, looked a lot more like an equine fashion model, depending on what I had to work with. In part, it also implied that Number Thirteen wasn't going to be the only 'Bed-Warmer' I'd have in the near future. Rulers tended to have big beds, after all, and besides, while the throne of virgins hadn't worked out, maybe a bed made of mares might be fun to try.
Number Thirteen was still examining her face, tears streaming down her eyes. Clearing my throat, I added, "But I do think I have time for one more thing before I get to business." She turned towards me, surprised. "You need a name. Number Thirteen is hardly fitting to a servant of The Great Overgoat Of Tambelon." I'd heard someone use the term Overgoat once, and it stuck with me, even if I couldn't remember it. It was an awesome title, though, so I was going to keep it. An eyebrow raised, I asked, "You... don't already have a name, do you?"
Thirteen shook her head. I would later learn that names were things that happened to other creatures: In Tambelon, all ponies had numbers.
I rubbed my chin a moment, taking her appearance in. She had a butter-colored coat, and honey-colored hair. The name seemed obvious. "Honey Butter," I announced, after a moment's consideration. I didn't know it at the time, but I had managed to somehow perfectly nail the average Equestrian naming scheme on my first try.
Thirteen, now Honey Butter, certainly seemed to like the sound of that, but I heard whispers behind me.
"What's Honey?"
"I dunno, but I heard a Trog mention it once, I think it's something sweet. What's Butter?"
"I think I heard a Trog use that term once. It's a word for your rump."
"So... he just decided to give her a name that says she had a sweet backside?"
"I guess. Well, she kinda does now... not that I'm into other mares, of course."
Never before in my life had I had such a hard time keeping a straight face. Of course, normally, I just laugh at everything I find funny because I don't give a fuck what others think, so it may just have been my lack of practice. To keep from bursting out laughing, I turned to Bray, and asked, "Would you mind finding out which farm you acquired Thir... Honey Butter from?"
Bowing, Bray said, "Of course, master. It will be the work of a few minutes. May I inquire why?"
Good question. How to spin it in a way that keeps me in character?
Hmmmm...
"All slaves in Tambelon are ultimately my property, and slaves are a valuable resource, Bray. More valuable than most other resources, in fact: Gold can't plow a field or harvest wheat, and silver cannot tend to the cleaning of my palace. This... Trog-Gob has been misusing valuable resources for his own amusement, and doing so in such a way that he reduces their total value, often to the point where they are almost totally without use. While I can use a corpse for a few things, a healthy, living pony is a trillion times more valuable. In short, while I doubt he sees it that way, he is stealing from Tambelon, and to steal from Tambelon is to steal from me... and no one steals from me."
Bray nodded at this explanation, and if he had any doubts, they didn't show. "Then," he inquired, curious, "what do you intend to do, if I might ask?
As a thousand horrific punishments came to mind, a grin came to my face as I said, "My subjects seem to have forgotten who rules this realm, Bray. I think it is time for a reminder of just why their ancestors obeyed me without question."
In short, I intended to 'remind' this place of who was in charge by lodged my back hooves so far into Trog-Gob's colon that I kicked his teeth out from the inside.
Regarding the battle with the last great Evil.
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NEW CHAPTER UP!!!
Genius way to handle the "slavery" issue, I must say considering how he's trying to stay in character.
And then heal him, and do it again, over and over until he's learned his lesson...may take a couple hundred tries though.
7092342 ANOTHER 20 AND YOU CAN TAKE A BREAK!!!
Always fun to read your stories.
7092342
Yay!
sweet chapter, cant wait for the next
7069913
i.imgur.com/E2DzLoU.jpg
HENSHIN A GOGOAT, BABY!
Cool update.
If mind swaps are more or less biologically impossible, how did his situation come about? Seeing that he's in a new body and all.
7092516
Good question. Expect an explanation later.
... I keep looking for the next chapter button but it ISN'T THERE!!!!!
Nice way to bring in the Overgoat term.
Hope the OverGoat has read the Evil Overlord List.
7092516 It said "biologically impossible." Didn't say anything about "magically."
Also, glad to see I was right about him excusing his good deeds as pragmatic villainy.
all hail The
overgoat 
Master to all
Proof that Lawful Evil doesn't have to be Awful Evil.
Bucking nonsense is swiftly making himself a veritable force among the authors on this site. It takes a very good author to put out consistently good to excellent stuff.
7092370 A healthy well fed worker is significantly more productive than a starving, crippled, half-dead worker even with only half the motivation.
7092531 Memories are stored both in the brain and in the soul and he is using the soul-backup of his memories and the brain-backup of Grogar's?
7092618 Well based on the personality he has displayed it certainly seems like something he would do... the deconstruction of tyranny in chapter three also makes it seem highly likely.
7092652 SEIG HAIL
SEIG HAIL
SEIG HAIL
Well... that certainly makes waking up on the right side of bed even more pleasant.
The Harem Begins! Truly a glorious day in the history of Tambelon.
7092342 I DODGE YOUR CHAPTER!
Wait, what?
7092715
my good sir are you trying to insinuate something. One most not upset the Great OVERGOAT after all.
ALL HAIL THE GREAT OVERGOAT !!!!
7092795 I insinuate nothing! I was simply hailing our glorious leader the OVERGOAT (praise be unto him).
Pizza as a mnemonic learning aid?
Hmmmm...
The Evil Overlord List suggests that a villain should pretend to have a fake weakness to distract heroes from your real weakness. Now imagine if (A)Celestia's spies found out that pizza boosted Gregor's ability to learn and recall magical knowledge or (B)Gregor deliberately let this slip to Celestia's spies just to screw with Equestria.
Pinkie Pie:
"Dang, girl! You got hella fat!"
"Celestia asked me if pizza really did allow Gregor to learn advanced magic. And it's true! All the books in Equestria are now mine! MWA-HA-HA-HA!!!"
"Dart to the neck."
Fat-Twilight:
Pinkie Pie:
Fat-Twilight: "Treachery! I shall have... my... revenge... ZZZzzzZZZzzz..."
7092657 My party once met the very definition of politeness and courtesy from a Lawful Evil Vampire named Miss Blake. She was even kind enough to leave a note on the desk of a room saying, "You want to fail this," which was also the command trigger for a Baleful? Juxtaposition spell, swapping party members with little metal balls, as 12 Fireballs all shot down the hallway we couldn't see towards the room.
7092342 good jolly! I just realised a most grievous mistake had been made, and hastily proceeded to correct it. This story has now been properly favorited so I can better follow it. Keep up the goating, good sir!
should you seek idea on how to punish this slaver/thief
I suggest a good old, heal the slaves and put hitches on them attached to chains...attached to trogs limbs... well you can guess the rest. let the ' slightly
liberated... better treated' seek therejustice.. revenge.if feeling particually cruel attach dull hooks 1,2,3 to sensitive part A and attach other part to a harness
or just do the old hanging witch burning
7092909 I don't think twilight will want this method after she finds out she's been using the incomplete method without salami and peperoni, however her ocd will either drive her to try it or hang the entire technique up rather then use the incomplete version.
I think it'd be really cool if they brought Grogar into the show like they did with Tirek. Though I think it would be cooler if instead of just having him show up, then be defeated in a two part episode, they should introduce him in the two partner, have him completely dominate the playing field, and have the rest of the next season focus on the mane sixes efforts to stop him.
That would be an epic villain.
Glory to the Overgoat!
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holy shit this is REALLY good! much better than what I was expecting when I started.
7093116 Another way could be simply to tell mr. Slave Whipper "Your farm is really lovely. Keep it this way. BY YOURSELF. ALONE. I'll be back in a few months, and will take any lost coin of revenue from your hide."
Ever tried to work an entire farm by yourself? It can't be done, unless it's the size of a phone booth.
Excellent method of hero empowerment!
Story saved! for now...
7093116
If Celestia and Luna though pizza was the source of Grogar's power, they could embargo the trade of tomatoes, cheese, and toppings with Tambelon the same way the US prevented certain countries from buying scientific equipment that can be used to make WMDs.
Luna:
"Sister, terrible news from the Neightalians! They say pizza can substitute tomato sauce with BBQ sauce, or Alfredo sauce, or pesto sauce!"
"WE CAN'T AFFORD TO TAKE THAT CHANCE!!!"
Celestia: "But does it count as real pizza if he doesn't use tomato sauce?"
Luna:
[later]
Major market upheavals when Equestrians think Celestia hates pasta, much like in the story "Celestia Hates Tea".
7093116 your methods are all wrong, he wants to punish not kill. Like he said, he needs the practice in the healing arts and what better way than to use a living target?
He said it himself, he didn't like to waste resources. What use is healing magic on a corpse? On the plus side, he can also come up with different methods to torture someone at the same time, a two in one bonus!!
7093422 yeah good idea practice limb renewal on him, you can move up to non-essential to essential organs after you get the basics down
After reading The Brain that Changes Itself, this chapter makes me really happy. Memory formation is a fascinating thing. Of course, when you start including immortal entities in fantasy settings it falls a little flat; there has to be some sort of magical/soul based memory retention as well, or they would only be able to store a couple centuries worth of memories due to size limitations, and something like Nightmare Moon wouldn't be able to exist (if you subscribe to the idea that it's a separate magical parasite, that is).
Great update. This story continues to amuse me immensely.
Mixing real world biology with magic insanity? Oh dear. I guess that is the hype train I hear pulling into my brain.
7092685
Actually, rather Log Horizonish there.
Relevant discussion at 15:11ish:
This really reminds me of Overlord,both the game and manga. Which means it is magnificent.
7093672 What do you mean 'actually'? Are you trying to say that my suggested explanation is less likely than one from some anime that was actually saying pretty much the exact same thing using slightly different terms? Because that is sure as hell what it sounds like you are trying to say... and it's rude as hell.
"No, you're wrong! That is only a decent explanation when someone other than you says it!"
Seriously, what the hell?!
What is this? Uptades in such a short timeframe? Who are you and what have you done with the real Nonsense?
7092851
PRAISE UNTO THE OVERGOAT FOR HE HAS RISEN ONCE MORE !!! 
Yes give praise unto our glorious lord Overgoat.
7093279
...or you're playing a game like Harvest Moon (console) or Stardew Valley (PC) (commentary).
(If you're not familiar with them, they're what FarmVille is trying to be a social Skinner Box knock-off of.)
It's good that whatever his name is can do acts of kindness while at the same time staying in character of a evil tyrant. Though from the looks of it, he won't have to worry about staying in character next chapter. With all this talk of switching minds got me wondering, what happened to the real Grogar? Your last stories explain what happened to the villains and how the humans end up in their bodies so I'm curious on what's the situation this time?
7093479 try something simpler but more agonizing, papercuts, lime and salt. All over the body.
One act of kindness can go a long way. Even for the great overgoat.
Fun how the slaves confused butt with butter. Amusing situations! I would not be able to keep a straight face
Well, that healing process went much better than I expected. So far, so good.
7093762
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What if, the reason he took so long to wake up is because the Powers That Be who govern reincarnation had a clerical error and accidentally grabbed Grogar's soul, throwing him into a reincarnation cycle... and now he just thinks he is really Human because that was the last life he went through.
I must say that i love the backstory you gave Grogar and how he with paitience and intelligence Went from the weakest to the greatest.
Last sentence. You used the past tense, should be "lodging".
Bit of an awkward sentence anyway tho. Idunno.
Good story 10/10 would want overgoat as ruler.