Research Project: Sparkle

by Axquirix


15:42, 28th February 2016 - Non-Canon April Fools 2016 Extravaganza Version

15:42, 28th February 2016
“You’re sure about this?” Dr Richards asked, “eight of our psions just attacked her without warning?”
“It’s what she told us,” Santiago confirmed, “although she didn’t use the word ‘attacked’.”
“‘Tested’ was mentioned once or twice,” Popov noted, the word hanging heavily in the quiet air of the base’s small library.
“Yes, well,” Dr Richards frowned, “I think the aliens have done enough of that sort of ‘testing’ to last us a century, we don’t need our own soldiers doing it.”
“You look after her medically, right?” Santiago asked, “I’m guessing she’s not normally that compliant?”
“Well…” Dr Richards thought silently for a moment. “Twilight’s never really resisted any of the procedures I’ve undergone with her, even before she started speaking, but she’s definitely not willing to let us do anything to her. Numerous interviews have shown her to have a distaste for exactly this sort of thing…”
“Do you think she might have been affected by them?” Popov suggested.
“I couldn’t say, I’m no psychologist,” the veterinary biologist replied, “but it is counter to her prior behaviour. We need to tell Dr Vahlen about this, at any rate. Would you two be willing to tell her the same as you’ve told me?”
Both soldiers agreed, and the scientist led them towards the research labs.

***

The head of research became increasingly agitated as the story was relayed to her. It had started with concerned frowning, which was to be expected. This had given way to annoyed frowning, and then outright angry frowning. After both soldiers had finished their explanation, she uttered only a quiet “Follow me,” before silently leading the three men out of the room and towards Mission Control (abandoning her input on a proposal to trial variant medikits that included stimulants similar to those emitted by some soldiers modified with Berserker genetic material in doing so).
“Officer Bradford!” Dr Vahlen shouted as she entered, drawing most of the room’s attention.
“Can this wait, doctor?” Bradford replied, not looking away from the large screen before him, “We’ve just encountered a new alien, and Strike One is having a little difficulty capturing it for you.”
“That’s very considerate of you,” Dr Vahlen replied tersely as she stepped up next to the CO, “but you need to hear about what your psions have been-”
“Hold on a second,” Dr Richards said, pointing at the viewscreen, “Does that snake have boobs?”
“It seems so, yes,” Officer Bradford replied tiredly, “and you’re not the first to notice.”
“Is it weird if I like this?” Popov asked, glancing around the room.
“Okay, that is just dumb,” Dr Richards continued, “reptiles don’t have mammary glands, because they don’t have live young. Why would a giant snake need them?”
“Maybe they’re venom sacs or something?” Santiago suggested.
“It has spat poison at our troops,” Bradford admitted.
Richards threw his hands upwards. “Oh, and they just happen to be on its chest, sure!”
“Central, this is Lieutenant King,” an australian accented voice came over the comms system, “I’ve got Lewis’s Arc Thrower, moving in to- Agh! It’s got mphmmmphphm!”
“This gives me the weirdest feeling,” Popov commented, watching as the reptilian alien coiled around the soldier on screen.
“Oh, wow,” Dr Richards said with a roll of his eyes, “so it’s got venom and it’s a constrictor. So realistic.”
“You might want to instruct your men to use a little more caution, Central,” Dr Vahlen commented, “This alien seems to have a particular aptitude for fighting at…”
Officer Bradford nodded, as he put on a pair of aviator sunglasses. “Close Range.”