//------------------------------//
// 5a: Mornings Alone 
// Story: Man Cannot Live On Coffee Alone 
// by PropMaster 
//------------------------------//

I lay in bed and watched as the sun climbed the peaks of the distant mountains. Sleeping had proven impossible, because I couldn't stop replaying the day in my head, trying to find a way where the situation didn't end in betrayal. Where I didn't lose my damn mind and freak out Spike. Where I hadn't gotten into a fight with Rarity, or been an ass to Pinkie Pie, or any number of other things. There was a lot to think about, and all of that meant that my mind couldn't simply turn off. Perhaps I'd caught a few minutes here and there, but I'd wake up within moments, my stomach in knots and my eyes stinging. Stress and anxiety kept me up, because I knew that I'd have to rise and face the music soon enough. 

My return to the castle had been uneventful—likely because I'd gone directly to my room and ignored everypony—and I'd spent the evening doing... nothing. I skipped dinner, declining the offer from a curious Corporal Sapphire to pick me up something and bring it to my room, and when Corporal Dusky had checked in on me, I'd pretended to be asleep. I'm not sure how well I pretended, and I don't think Dusky had bought it, but he'd had the grace to not press the issue.

There was a knock on my door, and I sat up as it was pushed open. I suppressed my irritation as much as I could, putting my face into a neutral position, and tried to resist the urge to tell whomever was walking in to fuck off. Dusky Roads entered, a stern look on his face and a wooden tray in his mouth. On the tray was a sliced, bright-yellow fruit that my nostrils immediately identified as a mango. The smell was unmistakable, and my mouth watered despite my stoic expression. Dusky's expression matched my own, as he marched over to my bed and set the tray with the fruit on it on my lap before I could voice a protest. I raised an eyebrow, peering down at the sliced mango, before looking up at him. I opened my mouth, but Dusky held up a hoof. "Hush. Listen, H'syn'shym. This is a Nymlmlm. A mango. My people believe it brings luck and strength when eaten. It was a rare delicacy, due to the difficulty we had in procuring it. Our return to Equestria meant that we gained easy access to this fruit, but we still believe it is special."

I looked down at the platter, and then back up at the sarosian, frowning. "Why'd you bring me a mango?"

Dusky raised an eyebrow at me, and stated evenly, "H'luun said you were troubled. She saw your dreams, brief flashes though they were. I took the initiative to deliver it to you."

I nodded once, reaching down and picking up a slice of mango and bringing it up to my nose. I inhaled the smell, my eyes closing. Mango was popular in the places where I'd spent most of my adult life, and the tangy scent brought back a few pleasant memories. I took a bite, the sweet and tart flavor hitting my mouth, the acid burning lightly as it touched my tongue, and I swallowed. It was a little on the unripe side, but I didn't let that dissuade me, finishing the slice and setting the skin down on the plate. I looked up at Dusky and nodded. "Thank you." 

Dusky smiled and patted me on the shoulder, then walked back out of my room, closing the door on his way out. I was grateful for him, immediately. He'd never asked me about my problems, never presumed to give me advice. He simply made his gesture of support, and then he was done. He didn't know what was wrong or why, but he'd given me something he felt would help.

I finished off the sliced mango within a few minutes, taking the time to savor the fruit's flavors and the warm feeling Dusky had left with me. I could hear murmuring outside, and the sound of armor moving and shod hooves tapping away down the hall. The shifts had switched, obviously, which meant that Sapphire was probably—

Sapphire Spirit peeked her head in, peering across the room at me. She smiled uncertainly. "You awake?"

I stared at her evenly. She blushed, "Just checking on you. You didn't get hurt or anything the other day, did you?"

I shrugged. "No."

"Mmhmm... well, just so you know, we've all been briefed on what happened. You kinda messed up the leeway the princesses gave you by letting you go alone to Ponyville, and Celestia is pretty upset," Sapphire said, stepping into the room, "but I'm sure that a lot of what happened was a big miscommunication."

"Yes. If you can call 'being lied to by your best friend and treated like somebody that can't take care of themselves' a big miscommunication, then that is exactly what happened," I said, rolling my eyes and flopping back on the bed. "God damn it, Sapphire. I didn't think you ponies had a duplicitous bone in your tiny horse bodies, but that assumption sure bit me in the ass."

Sapphire frowned. "What are you talking about? You attacked a hydra and almost got yourself killed!"

"I attacked a hydra because I saw Twilight and Rarity and a bunch of ponies getting attacked by a hydra. You guys may be a lot of things, but ass-kickers isn't exactly the first thing that comes to mind," I said.

"But, come on, Jake! It was the Elements of Harmony! They handle stuff like that all the time!" Sapphire protested, stomping one hoof.

I sat up in bed, staring at her. "Elements of... what?!" I leaned forward, glaring at her. "Wait, you knew that Rarity was some kind of... monster hunter?! And you didn't say anything?"

Sapphire stared at me, her mouth open. "... You didn't know?"

"No, Sapphire. I didn't know. How could I have possibly known that the pony that I was spending so much time with was anything more than a famous fashion designer?" I said, exasperatedly rubbing my forehead as I felt a headache coming on.

"B-but, you spent so much time with Twilight and Rarity! They never said anything?"

"Twilight was more interested in studying me, and Rarity had plenty of opportunity, but she never said a single word about being a... whatever she is!" I spat.

Sapphire shook her head, sitting down. "Why... why wouldn't Rarity say anything to you about being an Element of Harmony? That doesn't make any sense!"

"What the hell is an Element of Harmony?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"They're... they're heroes! They fight monsters, take on threats, and use the power of their friendship to overcome any obstacle! Jake, they've saved Equestria several times, putting themselves in harms' way to deal with the worst of the worst." Sapphire sighed, her ears drooping. "We've had to rely on them to save us. They even saved my life when Changelings attacked Canterlot and almost overran the capitol. They're incredible."

I stared at her, and shook my head, my confusion adding to the headache. "So... Twilight and Rarity and those other four ponies are... big damn heroes? World-saving, monster-fighting, ass-kicking heroes?"

"Pretty much... though it's less about ass-kicking and more reliant on their bonds of friendship to activate powerful magic that lets them handle the really bad stuff... though they also work as a team to deal with plenty of other problems, bringing harmony across Equestria and even beyond our borders. How you never heard about them is... pretty surprising, especially considering all the time you spent with Rarity!"

I shook my head. "No. She never said a damn thing. So, when I hear that Rarity's dealing with some kind of monster—"

"You ran in and nearly got killed trying to save her. Of course. This... all makes sense, now. You're not the kind to jump in with some half-assed plan and need saving, Jake. You're smart. You've seen action. It all sounded totally bizarre when we were briefed on what happened, but now it's pretty clear that there was a lot that you didn't know."

I sighed. "Great. Well, who do I need to see to get this cleared up? Because I'm not really keen on getting in trouble because somepony decided it was in my best interest to tell me nothing about their side-gig as a damn monster hunter."

"Princess Celestia. She's going to summon you to the day court soon, but I don't think she expected you to be up so early, so you've got a little time. Maybe you can head this whole mess off and see her personally?"

I grit my teeth. "Yeah, more stress sounds great right now, but putting it off seems like a bad idea." I stood up. "All right, let's do this."

Sapphire blinked up at me, her eyes darting down a few times, and she smirked. "Awfully confident for a guy with no pants on."

I glanced down and rolled my eyes, "Look at me, I'm going native." I snagged my pants off the floor and pulled them on, deciding that I didn't give a damn if Sapphire saw me dressing. Sapphire chuckled, and I held up a hand, cutting off another undoubtedly sarcastic remark. "No. Shush, pony. Just take me to Celestia. Let's get this over with."

Sapphire raised an eyebrow. "Jake, let me put this as kindly as I can: you're a mess. I'm not going to let you waltz into Celestia's morning tea time with your mane a mess, half-dressed, and unshowered. Nopony wants that, no matter how cute your bed-head look is."

I frowned. "Fine, I'll clean up. But not for Celestia! I'm doing it in the vain hope that I'll feel less like death after a shower and shave." 

"Sure, whatever makes you feel better," Sapphire said. She turned to the door and made to move back outside, but she stopped and glanced over her shoulder, biting her lower lip briefly. "Jake?"

"Hm?" I turned to look at her.

"I really hope you can figure things out with Rarity," she said, her ears going flat, and then she walked out into the hall and closed the door.

I looked down at the floor, having no response, and headed for the shower. I had to deal with Princess Celestia, first, and then Twilight and Spike. Spike deserved an apology, if he'd accept it. Probably Pinkie Pie, too, considering how rude I'd been to her after she saved my ass. I turned on the water, kicked off my pants, and climbed in, hoping that warm water and clean soap could make me feel a little better about things.





I walked down the halls of the palace, feeling slightly more human for my shower and clean clothes. Sapphire trotted beside me on my right, and to my left was a second guard. He was a taller unicorn stallion wearing the armor of the Elite Solar Guard, his coat and mane glamoured grey and white, with a grumpy frown on his face and yellow eyes that were focused and sharp. I watched him with a bit of interest, before looking over at Sapphire. "So, who's this stiff upper lip?"

Sapphire glanced over at the other guard, her face impassive, before shooting me a quick glare. "This is Major Scope, and he's been assigned to keep tabs on you by Princess Celestia."

I whistled, looking back over at Major Scope. "Wow. They assigned an officer to baby-sit me. Princess Celestia must have really taken a dim view of my recent screw-ups."

Major Scope didn't take the bait, his steps measured and his eyes forward. Sapphire grimaced, chuckling nervously and watching ahead of us as we approached Celestia's study. I stopped short of the door as Scope took the lead, suddenly, approaching the two guards at the door. They both saluted him, and he returned the gesture. "My charge wishes to meet with Princess Celestia. Let Miss Raven know, and we can organize a proper meeting into her schedule."

I frowned. "Major, I have an open invitation from the Princess for 'unscheduled' breakfast visits." 

Major Scope's scowl deepened slightly, a feat that I didn't think was possible, and he ignored me as one of the guards slipped into the room. I crossed my arms and tapped my foot. The door opened a few moments later, and Raven Inkwell stepped out into the hallway. She cleared her throat as Major Scope gave her a respectful nod, and gestured to me. "Princess Celestia will see him now, Major. Thank you. You may wait outside, or you are at liberty for the next half-hour to get breakfast or some coffee."

Major Scope nodded and took up a post beside one of the guards outside Celestia's study, a move that made the guard beside him stiffen up and straighten his back. I smirked at Major Scope and stuck out my tongue, and the grumpy guard pony's eyes narrowed at my childish antics. I didn't give much thought to his disapproval, considering I had more pertinent problems at hand. I stepped into the study, smiling at Raven as I passed her. She frowned and followed me into the room, closing the door behind us and trotting over to the desk, her horn glowing as she picked up a quill with her magic and resumed work on something. Celestia sat on a cushion in the middle of the study, her head bent low as she sipped some tea. Her regalia was on and polished, and her crown perched atop her head, right behind her regal horn. I smiled at her. "Hello, Celestia."

Celestia regarded me coolly for a moment, and then gestured to a cushion opposite her. "Sit."

Her tone brooked no argument, and I knew instantly that this was not going to be the friendly visit I'd hoped for. I sat down, adjusting myself to be comfortable. Celestia watched me silently for a moment, waiting until I was still, before she spoke. "I hope that you have an exceptionally profound explanation for your behavior yesterday."

I swallowed. "Yes, Princess. I assume that Twilight told you everything she knows about yesterday?"

"Princess Twilight informed me of your actions, yes," Celestia stated evenly, sipping at her tea, her eyes piercing me.

I winced. This was getting more and more formal. Whatever good graces I'd earned, my mistakes had obviously diminished significantly. I inhaled slowly, collecting my thoughts. Celestia seemed content to allow me a moment. I finally spoke, deciding that the direct approach was best. "There's no excuses, Princess." Celestia arched one regal brow at my declaration, but said nothing, so I continued. "I reacted exceptionally poorly when I discovered that Spike had been lying to me at Rarity's behest, and Spike bore the brunt of my frusturation and hurt. He didn't deserve that, and I will do my best to make it right. I... have dealt with liars in the past, Princess, and lies tended to get me or people that I worked with hurt. I shouldn't have had such a strong reaction, especially in light of Spike's age, but I hope you can accept that there was... an irrational part of my mind that took over. One concerned with fight or flight."

I paused, giving Celestia an opening to address anything I'd said, and she took it. "I am very disappointed in your reaction, even if I can appreciate that you were acting on instincts formed from a life of trauma. I expect you to take measures to make a proper apology to Spike, and I wouldn't expect forgiveness to come easily. You shook him quite deeply."

I nodded, grimacing to myself at the memory of Spike's tear-stained face. "Of course, Princess. I am fully at fault for my reaction, and anything you deem necessary as... reparation for my actions, I'll accept. But I'd prefer to discuss things with Spike, first. He deserves a direct apology, and hopefully he'll let me explain myself."

"Good. Now, Pinkie Pie asked after you, despite your behavior towards her, and encouraged me not to be upset on her behalf. I will grant her request... but know this: you have revealed a bad habit of lashing out at ponies that seek to help you when you are hurt. You should strive to curb that habit, as it will do you no favors in Equestria," Celestia said.

I sighed. "Pinkie Pie... was very kind to me, but I was too upset to give her the time she deserved."

Princess Celestia nodded. "It's a mistake many ponies make with her, and to their detriment."

"Yeah. She saved my life. I owe her, big time. I'll be certain to apologize to her as well, as soon as I've apologized to Spike."

Celestia held up a hoof. "Speaking of your life, you understand how incredibly lucky you are to have walked away from that encounter unscathed, don't you?" Celestia allowed the point to hang, before she sighed, shaking her head. "You have a warrior's spirit, but Equestria wages very little war these days. Do what you can to avoid taking on creatures you don't understand, especially unprepared, and remember that there are approaches other than violent ones that you can take."

"I'll... do my best. But, please, I hope you can understand, when I walked onto that field, I didn't know what was happening. I saw Twilight, and Rarity, and those other four ponies, and I saw the hydra... I didn't know who they were. I just saw ponies—ponies I care about—in danger. I wanted to help."

Celestia stared at me for a moment, her eyes widening slightly. "You didn't know about Princess Twilight and her friends?"

"No. Apparently they're... heroes. The Elements of Harmony, Sapphire called them. I hadn't ever been told. Twilight never brought it up, which I can understand considering most of our interactions have been, ah, scientific in nature. Rarity, though... she purposefully kept this from me, Celestia," I said, hoping that Celestia could hear my hurt at this revelation.

Celestia frowned. "Purposefully?"

"Yes. She hid the fact that she was dealing with the hydra from me, and had Spike lie to me about it. That's what set me off, Princess. If she'd been straight with me... well, I guess that doesn't matter, does it? Rarity's status isn't some state secret. It's apparently common knowledge that she's a hero... but she never told me any of that."

Celestia was quiet, looking down at her tea. After a moment, she looked back up at me. "I see. So, this situation is a case of poor communication between you and Rarity, along with some duplicity on her part. That's... troubling. Twilight mentioned that there was a misunderstanding, but your statement paints it in a different light entirely." Celestia turned to look over her shoulder at Raven. "Raven? Would you send Princess Twilight a summons? And ask her to bring Lady Rarity with her. We need to have a frank discussion about the circumstances of the hydra attack." I stiffened when Celestia said Rarity's name, and Celestia spotted my discomfort. "Do you not wish to confront Lady Rarity about this issue?"

"Honestly? No. Not today. I'm still pretty angry, Princess Celestia. I need a little space before I'm ready to deal with what happened between us," I said, hoping that she'd accept that.

Celestia nodded. "Very well," she said, and then she stood up, exhaling a long sigh, before she moved and sat beside me. A large white wing wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me into her side. "For what it's worth, Jake, even though I'm disappointed in you, I'm very glad you came and spoke with me. I was worried you wouldn't accept that you had acted poorly the other day... and knowing your reasoning behind your poor choices makes things easier to understand, even if it gives no excuse."

"I—" I swallowed, my voice catching in my throat as I leaned against the Princess. "I'm sorry for disappointing you. I owe you so much, and I can only recognize my behaviors and do better next time."

"Thank you, Jake," Celestia said, smiling gently down at me.

I looked down at my lap, shifting uncomfortably, and Celestia lifted her wing off my side, giving me a little space. I chuckled, shaking my head. "So... about Major Scope. Is he a permanent fixture of my little personal guard shift, or do you trust me enough to let me stick with Corporal Sapphire?"

Celestia smirked. "What, is he too stiff for your liking?"

"Stiff is a bit of an understatement. I think that frown is permanent."

Celestia giggled, "Mm, he's very serious when on duty, but he is a trustworthy pony and a kind soul, beneath the scowl. I suppose I can return him to his regular assignment," Celestia watched me grin victoriously, and then spoke quickly, "if you promise not to dodge Corporal Sapphire and Dusky Roads' supervision anymore, and you swear not to go throwing yourself into dangerous situations heedlessly."

I nodded. "Yeah, I can manage that. Sapphire and Dusky are... pretty much the only friends I have in Equestria. I know I give them grief, but it's typically in good fun."

"Well, after the stunt you pulled, 'good fun' or no, I need to know that you are being kept safe. You are still so new to Equestria, and I would hate to lose you, Jake." Celestia said sternly.

I stood up and gave Celestia the lowest bow I could manage. "You have my word. No more dodging my guards. I'll even let Sapphire watch me shower."

Celestia rolled her eyes and shook her head, smirking. "You don't have to take it that far."

"But what if I slip on some soap?"

Celestia laughed, and gave me a shove with one gold-shod hoof. "Away with you! I have things to see to, today, and I think that we have come to an understanding. Let Major Scope know I wish to speak with him."

"Yes, Princess Celestia. Thank you," I bowed again, turned, and headed for the door.

Sapphire Spirit stood anxiously outside the study, and she looked at me questioningly as I exited the room. I smirked and gave her a thumbs up. She stared at my upraised thumb, her head tilting to the side like a confused cat. I chuckled. "We're good."

Sapphire smiled. "Good. I was worried."

I reached down, patting her shoulder. "Thanks, but I just owned up to my mistakes and explained myself as best I could, and Celestia... well, she's Celestia. She understood. She was disappointed in me, still."

Sapphire winced. "Oh Goddess, she gave you the 'disappointed' talk?"

"She did. I almost cried," I said, straightening up from my crouch.

"You poor bastard. Well, what's next on the agenda?" Sapphire said, smiling up at me. 

"Breakfast, I think," I said as I started to head down the hall, but I immediately was reminded that Major Scope was still with us as he stepped out to follow us. "Oh, Major? Celestia wants to speak with you. Spoilers: you're off the hook."

Major Scope exhaled, relaxing suddenly. "Oh, thank Celestia," he mumbled as he about-faced and marched into the study to talk with the Princess.

Sapphire watched him go, and she giggled once he was out of sight. "I think that's the most emotion I've ever seen out of Major Scope."

"Let's hope we never have to see it again. C'mon, let's get some food." I headed down the hall, Sapphire at my side, feeling slightly better about the day ahead of me.