A Discordant Talk
Ragar was happily sitting down for a day of rest. While a few of his underlings were running around his lair on errands, most had followed his example; this had led to the extraordinarily rare occurrence of his lair being fairly calm and peaceful. Even the tour guides were sitting in their rooms, coming up with new and outrageous lies for the various landmarks in the lost city of Draknar, ancient home of the Dragons. Ragar himself was transcribing a few songs from his past life, making sure that they would survive after his inevitable fall. He reached to take a sip of whatever strange concoction Black Sun had left in the coffee machine before pausing. He didn't remember his “World’s Best Dad” mug having a tooth. Or strange mismatched eyes. He paused before he let out a joyous chuckle. "Nyehehe, Discord. To what does Ragar owe the pleasure?"
The mug swirled in place before the Draconequus in question popped into the drink, allowing the mug to return to normal. "Ah, hello Raggy old chap. Just scheduled the most invigorating little jailbreak and decided to pop in to see if you were up to your old tricks. I see the skeletons are still doing well."
Ragar nodded as he snapped his fingers, causing a tiny cup to appear floating in his drink. Discord smiled happily as it floated towards him on an equally tiny rubber duck. As he picked it up Ragar sat the mug down on a small table. "Of course, Ragar knows how to keep his minions properly healthy and happy." Ragar tapped his chin. "Discord, you know this won't last, right? You will surely be sealed again, with the elements having six bearers."
Discord nodded as he grabbed his new cup. Reaching a hand inside he pulled out a fistful of coffee that turned into a small slice of cake in his hands. "Of course I know that, bone-man. No, I just got bored." Discord swallowed the slice of cake home before smacking his lips. "But now that I'm out and about again I realized that it's just as boring being free. I mean, I can cause all the chaos I want, but the ponies just do the same thing every time." He swooned back, collapsing in the middle of the mug. "Whatever is a god of chaos to do when chaos itself is boring?"
Ragar thought on this a moment, trying to consider his options. "Well, Dissy, Ragar might know a solution if you want to spice up that immortal life of yours."
With a flash of light Discord was full size again, floating in front off Ragar with an excited smile. "Really? Oh, you're such a great guy, Ragar. Why, if I wanted a friend or two you would be first on the list." He paused as if thinking of something for a moment. "Well, you or Tia, but after that date with her sister, I think she might just want to take a bug zapper to me."
Ragar rattled his teeth. "Yes, Ragar remembers that. It ended with Luna threatening to beat you with an armoire while Celestia had to wipe the minds of everypony watching when you flew away. Ragar has yet to get the full story."
Discord waved his bird-like talon as if to banish the memory. "No way Raggy, a gentle-freak never kisses and tells. But c'mon, tell me all about that spice." He spun in a quick circle, donning an apron and chef’s hat. "I've gotta cook up some excitement or I might just explode."
Ragar chuckled. "Of course, but I’m sure you know there will be a cost?"
Discord grunted in annoyance. "Oh, you and your deals. I swear you never just throw me a bone." Ragar picked up his leg and tossed it to Discord, getting a deadpan look from the chimera. "Oh haha, you know I'm the funny one here. Stop stealing my gig."
Ragar chuckled as he bent down to reattach his leg. "Of course. No, Ragar simply needs six gems filled with chaos magic. If you do that, Ragar will share some knowledge about how to add something to your life you never thought you'd want."
Discord smiled. "That's it? Give me just one moment." He snapped his finger, and a number of assorted short minions appeared around Discord, who was now wearing a miners helmet. "Alright, Lemmings, time to get to work. Get me whatever it is the nice skeleton wanted. ASAP."
The Lemmings all wandered behind Ragar's chair in a straight line as he took a sip from his drink. He almost gagged at the taste. "What does Black Sun put in his coffee? Ragar swears it tastes like orange juice mixed with ash."
Discord stared at him. "Black Sun? Isn't that some random shop owner in Ponyville? I saw him nervously knocking on the library door when I left."
Ragar belted out a huge laugh. "NYEHAHAHAHAHA!! Yes. That is my son." Discord raised an eyebrow at this, which Ragar quickly acknowledged. "He's adopted, Ragar is a great parent, and must use those skills to make more evil beings. Black Sun goes into many ruins, looking for their dark and forgotten knowledge. Then he sells things he recovers from the ruins for a tidy profit. He even gets visits from foreign scientists asking about his discoveries!! Ragar is so proud." Ragar happily settled into his chair and reached into his robe. Pulling out a picture of Black Sun sitting behind a store counter he smiled. "Look at how grown up he is."
Discord looked at the photo a moment before nodding and staring behind Ragar. "Yeah yeah, cute kid and all. But it looks like all my little helpers are back." And with that the Lemmings returned, each one holding a small gem. As they reached Discord they each threw their burden up into the air. With a snap, they began circling and fusing into six separate stones, with six different colors. "And with these little beauties at your side, you can have all the 'perfect balance' you want." He stopped and held a paw to his chin. "Or was that the purple guy?" He shrugged. "Who cares, here's your chaos juice. But be careful, it'll expire in a few decades; make sure that it stays chilled and you take it out for walks."
The stones all floated onto the table giving Ragar a good view of them as they lined up in a star shape. He nodded at them and clacked his jaws. "And now for the lost knowledge of Ragar." He stood up and stretched his arms. "Discord. If you want to experience something new and unexpected, you should lose." Discord ground to a halt from his slow float, but Ragar held up a silencing hand. "If you do that, you have Ragar's word that you will be released by Celestia herself. And Ragar would bet that you would love to see what comes from that little experiment."
Discord gave Ragar a slow nod. "You know what Ragtag? I would. Well then, I'm gonna go get blasted by a friendship cannon. Keep it real, dry bones."
Ragar recoiled at that. "Hey, Ragar keeps all of his bones properly moisturized and healthy, and he would thank you for apologizing." Discord never did. His laugh echoed through the castle as he snapped himself away. Ragar smiled as he left, and picked up the blue gem. "Ragar thinks that this will work perfectly well."
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I'll bet ten bits it was Ragar who recommended Celestia to use Fluttershy to reform Discord.
Am I sensing shipping here? Make me wonder whether Celestia have already told Twilight about Ragar or not.
I expected nothing different from a meeting of those two
Soooo, Discord just handed Ragar a knock-off set of infinity stones? I foresee no problems with this, Ragar is obviously the very soul of trustworthiness.
9079347
RAGAR is the most honerable and ethical of EVIL necromancers, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm wondering if he's setting up for the main six, 6 chaos gems vs 6 elements, would it be like a matter/antimatter reaction?
Maybe he needs that specific type and quantity of energy to be his "wrist action" in his great work?
9079361
Now that you've said that? The very universe boggles.
Skeletons? Plural? As in like, a species? I mean I knew he was a necromancer, it's in the bloody title, but are you telling me Ragar is personally responsible for the rise of The Skeleton Army?
9079428
Who do you think staffs the park?
The patient evil is the best evil
Uhhh, did Ragar just make a set of knock-off Chaos Emeralds?
9079461
Off brand infinity stones.
9079437
I don't know, there's a certain appeal to hasty blow shit up evil.
Hmmm.... well now i just wanna ship Black Sun and Twilight
And now you make me so curious about Black Sun in Ponyville... Is there romance brewing?
Also, we're seeing more and more information of Ragar and his previous life... I cannot wait for him and Celestia to sit down for tea.
I wonder if, before the due date of the tea, some major big bad shows up and Ragar and Black Sun come to the rescue...
9079461
Elements of Disharmony?
9079492
I mean, that's how I do evil, but it lacks a certain... success rate
Ragar seems to be collecting pieces of each major villains power. The nightmare spirit of Nightmare Moon, Choas magic straight from discord. I wonder what he could acquire from Chrysalis.
9079513
personally, i like being the minor annoyance evil who sometimes does totally legal evil things yet acts like just any other being when not on the clock.
Discord @ one of the skeletons: “hey, would you like to go on a date with me?”
Skeleton: “I can’t.”
Discord: “why?”
Skeleton: “cause I’m a miner.”
*badum ts*
Perfect action
9079676
Probably part of her chitin shell! And for Tirek one/both of his horns!
9079320
I don’t think Celestia would tell Twilight as it would likely drive her insane.
9079917
Isn't that what she did all this time? I mean with all her secrecy and cryptic hints?
well this is a intresting direction next thing i know ragar will help scoots fly
9080023
I suppose she just assumed it was better than.
“Twilight I was just talking to Ragar...oh he’s a bipedal lich creature that professes to be the worst villain Equestria has ever seen. No I’m not being mind controlled...Twilight stop trying to undo mind magic...not a curse either Twilight...no it’s not a geas...No I am not a doppelgänger!”
9080046
How about sending the Mane 6 (minus one according to Ragar) for a quest to Ragar (Theme Park) Land? Or assigning Twilight an homework 'trying to get information out of the Equestria's longest running Necromancer as much as possible"?
9080057
That would be more in keeping with her circuitous teaching style.
After reading through the comments and the chapter as me thinking Ragar is collecting these pieces from the villains to power himself up. In chapter he even states he'll fall eventually so maybe he's going to power himself up and become the most evil villain that ever existed?
Soooo, they only won in the first place because Ragar convinced Discord to lose? That would be a bit of a blow to their egos if they ever found that out. You know, assuming they ever find out about Ragar as well.
9080057
I'm thinking it would never work. Pinkie would probably get too distracted by the rides.
i think the name of the story is wrong XD surely ragar has proven to be the best equestrian necromancer
9080082
By his standards he already is the most evil one, but he may Introduce internet to Equestria. That would be his greatest achievement in spreading EVIL for a while, I guess.
9079838
And Starlight?
9079917
Like Celly ever cared about mental health of Twi. -_-
By this point in the story Twi already got strong case of OCD and partially due to Celestia herself. >_<
9079347
I was thinking Chaos Emeralds but that's just me...
That timing though... Just barely watched Infinity War. Hopefully each gem just does the same thing...
9081525
Uh... There's 7 chaos emeralds... 8 with the master emerald.
kinda surprised that one was still here but you missed the e in "left" there.
9082541
Tnx and fixed.
9081975
calls 'em like I sees 'em.
That moment when you binge read pony stories and catch up on a fun one and now you have to wait for more of it.
R/thanosdidnothingwrong
Ragar and Discord being kinda, sorta friends? I like it, it just seems so fitting.
9088695
It makes me exceedingly happy. I cannot wait to see where this goes.
https://orig00.deviantart.net/84f4/f/2014/013/8/1/necromancer_pony_by_dimovasya-d722qpf.jpg
HUTTAH! SPECIAL ATTACK! COVER ART SUBMISSION!
9092467
he has a bipedal skeleton '-'
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Millennial_King
9092687
I read that up until they talked about the place the story takes place in.. where can I find this treasure
9092766
it was made by 4chan users, it is not a full story, everything you read in the link is a refined version of their ideas, that's all there is sadly
9092818
Why would you do this to me
9092835
why did the 4Chan users do this to us?
9092847
Because they have no soul
9092678
Damnit.....
9092857
You know, i wonder if someone will deign to actually write this story out. And if they did a reasonably good job on it, would it even be accepted? I sure hope someone does, though the headache that would come with it would be horrible.