Pirates of Ponyville
Celestia had a headache. This wasn’t that unusual, since running a country was an awful lot of work. However, today it was a special brand of headache. One that was rare, and came with an uncertain amount of joy. This was because she was having what the castle staff called a ‘death day’. After the return of Princess Luna, the fact that Ragar was a bona fide necromancer had become the worst kept secret in Canterlot. She had managed to hide the fact from those most likely to worry, but several guards and nobles had figured out who the 'thrice accursed demon' was that Luna had talked about freely until Celestia had explained the situation to her. But what was causing her headache right now was the full sized galleon that had recently surfaced in the Ponyville lake. This would be less jarring if it wasn't for two things. One: the lake was barely big enough to allow a rowboat the ability to take anything more than a quick jaunt, making the galleon nearly touch the sides of the surprisingly deep lake. Two: It was crewed by skeleton pirates. In the last three hours, they had launched a barrage of small skeletal rodents at Ponyville, and in one case a very confused living donkey who landed in Sugarcube Corner.
This had caused Twilight to embark on a quest to catch the evil necromancer responsible. She had attempted to interrogate the crew, who had told her their master was indisposed by 'the dark and mysterious tones of the Canterlot Orchestra'. This had not only confused Twilight, but had caused her friend Rarity to have a full conversation with the crew about the varying pieces of work the orchestra had produced over the years. They ended up agreeing that though they had been in a recent slump, their work on the soundtrack for the Phantom Of Music was excellent. So now Celestia was having to try and calm down Twilight without mentioning Ragar, figure out how a galleon that by all appearances belonged in a museum had appeared in the lake, and contact Ragar - who was apparently listening to her favorite orchestra.
So she was waiting in her tea room trying to reach Ragar while responding to the frankly massive amount of paperwork she had received from Mayor Mare. Most had simple answers, but a few required more nuanced responses. Like what to do about the skeletons raiding the local comic store and stealing all the comics, but leaving behind enough bits to cover the comics, repairs, and sending the owners foal to college. She stared at the letter in a mixture of confusion and pride. On one hoof, Ragar had basically committed a minor invasion of her kingdom for comic books. On the other hoof, he had paid for them and left what one could call a tip. Or possibly he had no clue how much comic books cost, if Black Sun was to be believed.
She sighed and tried her communication orb again. This time the piano only sounded for a moment before Ragar appeared in the corner of her room. He was wearing a full suit, complete with vest, top hat, and monocle. He spread his arms wide, gesturing with what appeared to be a solid gold cane he was holding. "Oh, How wonderful it is to see you, Princess. Ragar was just thinking of calling you to speak of the great improvements in the latest showing by your orchestra. Ragar found that the pieces by Beethoovesen were nearly perfect."
Celestia paused. The latest showing was in Canterlot. She had assumed he was listening to a recording, or maybe one of his many crystal videos. She had learned long ago that if Ragar was having a movie night you couldn't interrupt it, though you could join it; they’d had several shared movie nights through the communication orbs. It was annoying that he refused to watch something with her unless it was something she had already seen, however; she desperately wanted to see some of the recordings he had talked about but hadn’t shared. She shook her head, trying to snap out of her thoughts. Why was she thinking about this anyways? She was going to meet him in person soon enough. She instead focused on the task at hand. "Were you present at the concert? I wouldn’t expect you to make the trip to Canterlot on your own."
Ragar nodded. "Originally, Ragar was going to go with Black Sun, but unfortunately he said something came up. So Ragar simply took his newest apprentice to the show; she enjoyed seeing how they captivated their audience."
Celestia really wanted to ask about his newest apprentice, but she needed to deal with the minor catastrophe going on in Ponyville first. "Yes, well, I wish this was a purely social call, but there is an issue that requires a few questions."
Ragar tilted his head to the side before he vehemently nodded. "Ah, Ragar must assume you mean his latest act of EVIL!!!" He raised his hands in a menacing pose, causing Celestia to giggle. After a moment he lowered his arms, and nonchalantly leaned on his cane. "Yes, Ragar wanted to try a repair spell on a large scale and found that Dangerous Dreams’ former pirate ship was the perfect test subject. Since it was originally sunk by a large magical burst from Nightmare Moon, Ragar repurposed the dark energy to make a few minions from the poor souls aboard. Some of them requested to go back, but it was mostly due to their skeletal nature. Ragar has found most people prefer to be whole when they return, but unfortunately, that is difficult."
At this, he lowered his head, and Celestia noticed his jaw moving as he quietly spoke to himself. While Celestia was a master of lip reading, it was somewhat difficult when your target had no lips. After a moment she softly cleared her throat. "Ragar?" He jolted up, nodding to Celestia. She worried for a moment about her friend before trying to push through. As always, Equestria came first. "As much as I'd love to ask about that, I must first clear the air. Why did your new crew launch rodents at Ponyville?"
Ragar paused. "Ragar doesn't remember..." he snapped up. "Crap, Ragar meant for that test fire to go east, not north. Ragar apologizes; he simply wanted to make sure that the rodents would be able to survive falls, as his current lair has many cliffs and he wanted to ensure his pets would be safe. The easiest way was to test some volunteers in an environment where he could easily retrieve them. They were supposed to land in Black Sun's garden."
Celestia relaxed, content with the answer. This seemed like a normal plan for Ragar; foolhardy, slightly insane, and silly. She had one last question, though. "And the donkey?"
Ragar paused. "Er, yes. The donkey. He may have boarded the ship, and my crew was very protective of their ship. Ragar believes they said they 'repelled boarders'? They believe it was in self-defense."
Celestia nodded. "Fair enough. I believe I can fix all of this easily enough, Ragar, though you still have one problem."
Ragar tilted his head at her. "Really? Ragar was unaware of any problems he had that would warrant a mare such as yourself hearing of them."
Celestia paused at the implications of his other problems, but decided to simply warn him instead of probing. "Well, you have been noticed by my own dear student. She has apparently enlisted Black Sun to help find your, and I quote here, 'evil lair of untold horrors' and left not too long ago."
Ragar's jaw opened wide. Then he belted out an enormous laugh."NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Ragar cannot wait. He hopes Black Sun takes the scenic route though, Ragar must prepare." He gave Celestia a full bow, doffing his hat with the motion. "If you'll excuse me, Your Radiance."She nodded, hiding the blush at his simple comment. As he faded from the room, she sighed.
After a moment she stood up. "By Faust, Celestia, get ahold of yourself. It’s not like he means anything by it." And with that she walked out to personally meet with the Mayor.
Somewhere in the jungles of the south
Black Sun was smiling around the machete in his mouth as he carved a path through the jungle. Twilight followed behind, furiously scribbling in her notebook about all the various fauna she had encountered so far. He paused as the ruins that he had lived in only a decade prior came into view, then returned his machete to its sheath after slicing through the last of the undergrowth. "So, Twi, how do you feel about exploring old necromantic tombs?", he asked. Her own smile answered him better than words ever could.
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And now Twilight has a coltfriend. Bahahahahaha! The tension growing between Ragar and Celestia is SO GOOD! I loved the pirate ship. Things are going so well. Thanks again for the laughs and awesome story!
Interesting very interesting.. Wonders if Black Sun made a verbal booboo or what. i mean how does he know the tombs were necromantic before they even entered them.. Little wonder Celestia has a headache VERY nice tip for the comics
SHIIIPPING~
Love the new chapter, I wonder what will happen to the skeleton crew?
you missed a great pun their shame on you for no pun
9094241
It's there, just not spelled out. A stealth pun if you will.
9094255
a stealth pun very sneaky
The shipping is strong in this one.
Twilight and Black Sun sitting in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G,
First comes love,
Then comes marriage,
Then comes bucking to fill the baby carriage!
Yay, another funny chapter. Can't wait to see what Ragar has in store for Twilight.
So, do we call this one BlackLight?
Ok, so this is the shipping chapter.
A ship full of skeletons, BlackLight (do not shine on bed after successful shipping, you will see things that cannot be unseen....)
And now Twilight has to face the greatest evil ever... the one that will annoy her!
Going to the orchestra, such class. He truly is the very model of a modern magic skeleton.
the bit in bold got me laughing
What Black Sun said... I see what you did there... This is a 'more than friends' kind of deal? 'NecROMANTIC'?
You sure about that
Good on you Sun, you managed to take her out on a date
9094485
Sorry, couldn't resist.
a good laugh before bed and it even has 666 views!
9094517
*le gasp*
Never underestimate the power of a good necromantic tomb. Personally I use them as more 3rd date material, but everyone proceeds at their own pace.
Cadence would be proud
9094211
I wonder... did any of Mane 6 gossip about Twilight's potential coltfriend yet? Or... does the news reach either Shining or Cadance yet?
Ah yes, exploring dangerous, vermin and filth infested ruins.
Best way to pick up hot, heroic mares.
I can ship Celestia and Ragar. Also, after their big meetup Luna and Cadance becomes his worst enemies.
Cadance because going into matchmaker mode is interfering(she also catches onto Twilight and Black Sun later on).
Luna because she assists Cadance purely for the chance to annoy her sister.
Luna's mastery over the night and darkness gives her ways to be a thorn in Ragar's side that makes her a threat to his often very well hidden actions.
Basically I'd love to see Cadance doing her usual deal as matchmaker, only with Luna causing a ruckus between pretty much everyone as she teases and pranks her sister about it, and occasionally foils Ragar's "hidden movements" schemes with hilarious results
9094711
Nah, she will be pissed when she discovers someone shipped her little Twilight without asking her "help" first.
9094358
Don’t forget the CelGar!
Ah. I see FedEx has been by for your shipping crates......
9094762
You can't spell "necromantic" without "romantic " after all...
Ragar, your adoptive son is led by his heart not his mind!
Ah, the shenanigans continue. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
Lel
Ah.. The meeting approaches... How fun will this be..
9094358
Snerk. Oh, that is just so wrong!
I love the absurdity in this one. Seriously, the pirate ship is nearly the size of the lake?! And then the rodent bombardment...
I am concerned about that bit where Ragar said he didn't remember... was that because the test was accidental, or is he losing his memory for some reason...? That latter could be very ominous, and might explain what he's looking for...
9094541
...I probably would do that if I understood the Pun.
Im thinking that the title for this chapter should have been "Pirate Shipping".
Thanks for the chapter Nobodyslament.
And Thanks for the editing Guldane.
I read too fast, and now I have to wait
Seriously though, awesome story so far. Can't wait for the rest of it!
9096179
Agreed
9096275
Glad you're enjoying it!
9096154
Why stop at Joker? We can gobbl(in)e up this meal of delicious memes! Or are we too 'Two-faced' to understand that? A little bit of this kind of Venom never hurt anyone.
9094715
Twilight doesn't have a special some pony, just a very enthusiastic study buddy.
I am now imagining an intervention scene where the rest of the mane 6 have Twilight list out what a colt friend is/means and compare to her own actions this leading to Twilight freaking out trying to be a perfect mare friend and accidentally destroying some/all of ponyville and ending with Black Sun calming her down
9097474
I must admit, it could be more ap-peeling, some might say it's quite bananas! It does have a fruity blend of heroes. They all do pack a tropical punch.
Orange you glad I didn't do more heroes for this?
9098620
Or make a comic that would be cool.
When he "retires" he has to show Cadance Alien/Aliens/Starship Troopers (in that order).
9095824
It's possible but if I remember Luna's return correctly RAGAR is an act he uses even with Blacksun, it could be that after paying the owners off he thought it wouldn't have gone any further so had not thought up of a RAGAR reason as to why it happened and he was delaying while he made worked out an answer (it has to be both in character and not a lie). I'd wait for a second occurance before it's something to worry about.
This is the greatest story I have read in a while!
I was re-reading and this jumped out at me:
Flutters, AJ, Dash, Rarity and Pinkie...
If they find a library in that tomb would Twi even realise she was trapped?
You are kinda falling into the "show not tell" trap. IMO you should had gone more in depth with the scenes you are telling about.
Does this mean the ship name is Blacklight?