The soft music of an incoming call woke Celestia from a much deserved afternoon nap. She blinked sleep from her eyes as she stood with a wobble. She briefly debated ignoring the call and going back to sleep, but Ragar had warned her he might need help soon. She sighed and accepted the call, only to be greeted by a strange sight - even by Ragar’s standards. Though Ragar was in his normal robes, parts of his clothing being on fire was new. So were the small holes scattered over the robes that revealed bits and pieces of the bony body underneath. He was also actively running from something. "Ah, Princess. Ragar seems to be in a spot of trouble."
She could agree, especially when she saw a blast of red magic fly over Ragar's head. He seemed calm about it, however, so there was no reason to freak out quite yet. "What seems to be giving you trouble, Ragar? Do you need me to come over to your lair to assist? You’d need to give me directions, of course."
Ragar calmly jumped to avoid another orb of energy sailing between his femurs. "No, nothing so serious. But, hypothetically, if Ragar happened to have a recently ascended alicorn in his house, how would Ragar ground his... uh... growing pains?"
And now Celestia had a reason to freak out. "YOU HAVE AN ALICORN IN YOUR LAIR!?!"
Ragar had to speed up to avoid what appeared to be a small bug made out of pure fire. "Ragar said hypothetically. You have no proof Ragar taught Black Sun how to ascend."
Now Celestia had even more reasons to freak out. "BLACK SUN IS AN ALICORN!! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!"
Ragar broke into a dead sprint. "Hypothetically. Ragar has not confirmed any of this. However, Ragar would guess maybe thirty minutes ago."
Celestia nearly blew a fuse. "YOU ASCENDED AN ALICORN WITHOUT ANY GROUNDING EQUIPMENT NEARBY?" Then she paused for a moment. "How did you even learn to do that?"
Ragar ducked into a low slide, a solid beam of energy nearly grazing his skull; when he moved back into view, his mouth was open in what was normally a smile - though Celestia couldn't be sure in the current circumstances. He sounded like he was happy when he spoke, though. "Ragar learned the spell in one of your books. It was meant to rely on friendship for some reason, though. Bah, it is much simpler to use the blood of a phoenix! Willingly given, of course; Ragar pities the fool who attempts to steal phoenix blood. However, the spell only works for unicorns, so Black Sun volunteered to be Ragar's test subject. Ragar did not know this would happen."
Celestia let out a few deep breaths. Not only had he used a spell meant for six ponies to cast, he had also bypassed the safety lock she had snuck into it. She let out a silent scream, which helped her calm down slightly - though not as much as watching Ragar skid across the ground when an orb of energy smacked into his skull. That calmed her down enough to actually answer Ragar's original question. "To ground a new alicorn’s magic, they must either be helped by another alicorn who can control the extra magic or sleep for at least twelve hours while their body adjusts. I could be there shortly if-"
She was interrupted as a spell made out of nebulous black energy flew from Ragar's hand. He calmly climbed back to his feet, patting out the fires still consuming his tattered robes. "No need, princess. Black Sun shall get his rest. We had talked about it, but we had decided Ragar should only do that if there was no other option."
Celestia stared. "Did you just knock out your own son?"
Ragar nodded and sent a few more spells from his hands. "Of course, it was the smartest course of action. Besides, he lost Ragar's head last week."
Celestia was forced to replay that last sentence a few times to understand it. Black Sun - the stallion who had been calling her once a month specifically to complain about Ragar's lack of a filing system - had lost his father’s head. Then, Ragar, who doted on Black Sun like he was still a colt, had knocked him out because it was the simplest way to contain his power. This seemed out of character for both of them. She was obviously missing a few pieces to the puzzle. "How did he lose your head?"
Ragar shrugged. "We had been practicing the DARK AND FORBIDDEN ARTS! Ragar believed a spell we were experimenting with was less effective than bucking. We had to test that theory, so Black Sun bucked Ragar's head to gauge distance. We couldn't find it. I had to make a new one."
Celestia had to replay that sentence as well. Not only was his head removable, but he could make new ones. This was just going to give her a headache - no pun intended. She eventually decided that any time they were experimenting they went insane; that explained everything neatly. "Very well. What possessed you to make your son a scion of a natural element without at least warning me?"
Ragar laughed. "NYEHEHEHEHEHE! Every evil overlord must do something in secret! Plus, Ragar was at least eighty percent sure it wouldn’t do that. Ragar thought that the spell would simply convert excess magic into life force, thus allowing Ragar to increase the lifespan of young Black Sun. Though, immortality is good too... Ragar guesses. Less fun, though. Ragar is disappointed, as we’d brought out the good blood ritual equipment."
Celestia took the high road and ignored that entire sentence. Besides, every time she had asked for details about his use of blood magic Ragar had said he bought blood from hospitals. That made it not her problem, as only griffons and zebras used non-magically generated blood. "That is a sad turn of events. I'm sure Black Sun will apologize when he is awake. However, do you know exactly what you've done?"
Ragar smiled as wide as he possibly could, which looked uncomfortably like him dislocating his jaw. "Of course not! It would hardly be a worthwhile experiment if Ragar knew how it would end. How could Ragar possibly further his EVIL GOALS without gaining more knowledge?"
Celestia nodded before yawning. "Yes, I can see how that would be a problem. Let me spoil it a bit. Black Sun is now permanently bound to whatever natural emotion, object, or force he is closest to. If he’s not careful, he could very well allow himself to be taken over by an aspect of his own dominion." And now she was sad. Great. She lowered her head onto her pillow.
Ragar looked concerned for a moment. "Princess, do not worry about Black Sun. Both he and Ragar knew the risks. Besides, he'll have the two best tutors in all of Equestria if he ever needs a hand. At least, he will in time."
Celestia nodded, her dour mood barely lightened. "Yes, if he is willing to accept my help, the two of us will make excellent teachers."
Ragar slapped her dour mood out of her with the force of a small carriage. "Ragar? Teach an alicorn? Ragar has no clue. No, Ragar meant you and Luna. She should be getting back in a few hundred years, correct?"
Celestia’s mind shut down. It took several minutes and many worried calls from Ragar before she managed to shake off her confusion. "What do you mean?"
Ragar looked utterly surprised, perhaps more so than Celestia had ever seen before. "Wait, you didn't know that Luna would return? The Elements have safeguards in place. For such a minor case of possession, even if you channeled the elements until they were naught but air and wind they would not have permanently banished her. She had a one thousand year exile on the moon. I think there’s a bit over three hundred years left, or so." He tapped at his chin with a finger before throwing it in the air. "Something like that. It was all in a terribly boring essay in your forbidden section."
Celestia was frozen. In three hundred and thirty years she would see her sister again. She had already waited over twice that already; she was in the home stretch without even having known it! She couldn't contain her joy as she jumped up in the air and fluttered about. "Ragar, you beautiful skeleton. How can I ever thank you?" She even tried to hug the projection and rolled through it, laughing.
Ragar was smiling at her obvious delight. "It is nothing, princess. Ragar would have told you sooner if he was aware you didn't know. But if you could, Ragar thinks Black Sun may want some lessons on being an alicorn. Could you please allow him a visit?"
Celestia's smile never left her face. "Of course. You're cordially invited as well, though I doubt you'll descend into the snake pit so easily."
Ragar shook his head with his strange clacking-chuckle. "Of course not. Besides, Black Sun has been getting bored. He hasn't gone exploring in weeks. As soon as he finished studying Tirek's old things he was raring to go out again. Speaking of my son, Ragar should go make sure he’s comfortable while he sleeps."
Celestia was more than happy to end the call, having already started thinking through the preparations she would need to do for her sister's return. She finally fell asleep an hour later, happy dreams about her sister coming home filling her head.
The midnight guard of Celestia's chambers was a respected position. A pony at that door must keep watch against danger, make sure to awaken the princess in time for sunrise, and - perhaps most importantly - quietly ignore everything that came from the bedroom. Celestia had always had strange dreams, and she could sputter out prophetic revelations that could damn a pony to insanity. In the immortal words of the very first door-greeter: You didn't hear nothin'. Tonight they earned their checks as at exactly midnight they heard Celestia yell. "DID HE SAY HE HAD LORD TIREK'S THINGS??!!"
Both guards looked at each other and nodded. "We didn't hear nothin'." And thus the cycle continued.
I love this story
This reminds me a bit of Xante. Sad that most good fics on this site never get finished. Hope this will.
I love this story. It is just one big comedy piece after another. I can't wait for the mane six to show up, that will be delicious.
I wish I could give another thumbs up due to the last few paragraphs...
HA
This story gets better and better with every chapter. OF COURSE Ragar would try and make his adopted son immortal through the 'usual way' of Ponyland. Thus, Ascension. Oh dear...
...one wonders if Black Sun is going to have relationships with either Celestia or Luna.
I STILL SHIP RAGAR x CELESTIA!
As long as the alicorn OC's characterization is well done, I don't see issue with it - so go for it!
For Ragar's glory!!
so black sun is the alicorn of black magic?
black sun ambassador of EVIL
king of tartarus
alicorn of lawyers!! the greatest evil
or he becomes pony Xanatos
black sun ancestor of twilight sparkle
Thank you GUldane.
Also you need to wash your hands of the Alicorn OC they are filthy.
8995832
Makes sense. For whatever reason I never watched much of the Masters of the Universe or it’s spinoffs. Turtles and transformers were my obsessions back in those days.
Well, it's not a smutfic and he isn't a stu.
Soooo..... There is a promise of a decent OC here.
Keep it up!
Before I read this, I must know: Why would there be fields of cotton candy?
8995984
This is amazing. Somehow better than thermite grendades, and that’s pretty hard to beat.
I hope Black Sun would meet Blue Blood in the future, so he could teach the sad blue stallion the importance of humility.
8995925
I vote for Luna X Black Sun ship. Black and dark blue goes together well. Or maybe Twilight would interested in a gold-heart stallion with an air of villain?
Ugh, I just want to know what he’s Alicorn OF now...
And now, forever more, I will picture him as a bulky skeleton decked out in his own body weight worth of bling and gems.
8995951
You're welcome, though it feels odd to be thanked for something I'm mostly doing because I enjoy it. I've been finding it rather rewarding to help with a story so many people are enjoying.
"Also, I hope nobody minds the alicorn OC."
I will allow, this time. Pray that you earn continued leniency.
:P
8996103
I humbly thank you for your lenience. I shall endeavor to make myself worthy.
noice
8996010
Nercomancy or Black Magic probably since his name is Black Sun.
8995901
a few bony thumbs up!
Black Sun, the Alicorn of Necromancy Used for Healing Purposes
8996106
So, will Black Sun end up being Cadence's father?
8996161
No, they won't have any explicit or family links to main characters until they meet.
The truth that every guard must learn from the True Master:i.pinimg.com/originals/45/7b/aa/457baac90c9c13cb599f3346815744ad.jpg
Huh, I am once again utterly blindsided by your plot twists. you don't know how refreshing that is! I knew Ragar was going to have to do something about the issue of out-existing his son, but I never thought they'd go futzing around with the Ascension spell! Don't you dare stop writing this you glorious madman!
8996198
Confirmed he was the first of this long line of guards
Urge to ship...rising.
ing fire alarm woke me up after an hour of sleep, and I now need to head to work in three, so am not in a happy mood. Finding this had updated after an hour spent fixing the problem and settling back down for what little sleep I can get makes this shit night much more bearable.
And as for the chapter itself? Was wondering how long it would take for her to notice!
...Has Celestia realized that all his messages that go through the postal service to her have a return address on them? Might be funny to have her finally realize that was the first clue to his secret lair.
I know most of the time he sends them direct, either through DARKEST AND FOULEST OF MAGICS, or by Peter the Undead Pterodactyl, but he has to have sent at least a couple things through it.
Great story, always good for a laugh, even when rereading. Keep it up.
I see that Celestia decided to integrate her Guards’ training with the excellent materials put out for the Baldini Security Company’s three-hour program.
I regret that I have but one like to give, good sir/madam.
8996634
The hint is even dumber, don't worry. It's also one of my favorite classic joke so I can't wait to get to it.
This is such a lovely story. I really don’t mind the Ali OC. And Thank you Guldane!
Oh, hey, a new chapte- alicorn... OC... F I L T H Y
On a serious note, you've done well so far so I'll continue. I really enjoy Ragar's character and his interactions with Celestia. Looking forward to more shenanigans!
Good. If it's for a good reason, I'll accept it, but if not... Well, heads will roll. Again.
It's a fun story, though. Always worth a chuckle.
Thanks Guldane!
Yeah, that'd end REALLY badly. Phoenixes are very magical even at the best of times. Trying to steal their blood is, ill advised, at best.
Doorkeepers best OC's
8996830
Just so you know, my fluff that I couldn't fit in easily is that the first didn't see nothin' guard moved on to become the one who trained future door guards. He taught them all to just not question anything that came from the royal rooms.
Oh, he's never going to stop surprising her is he? Must be a great thing to have for someone as old as her.
Thank you for another great chapter.
Thanks to Guldane for editing said chapter.
A secondary alicorn OC doesn't bother me as much, wonder what his element is.
8995899 Oh, don't get some of us started on that please!
8996198 Someone else that remembers Hogan's Heroes. Good show.
8996652 8996840 True dat!
8996662
I bet he is extraordinarily close. Keep your allies close and your frienemies closer.
8996996
Lmfao this is so funny! I love this story.
I have no words for how funny this is while stoned i had too pause multiple times to stop laughing 10/10 man
I like the idea that the gaurds have gained a tradition of saying that they heard nothin'
8998383
Must be ex-citizens of Ponyville.