"Wait, do the... what do you mean—wait—where—is this—no... no! This is the description! You're actually serious?! Uh, describe the story, describe the story. Hey! Isn't this your job?!"

<No. Not anymore. First person narration, right?>

"Ugh! I'm such a lazy ass! The description?! You're making me do the description?! I don't believe—"

<Stop. You're wasting space right now. So think or say something constructive. You know the—>

"Yeah, yeah, I know the drill. I can't believe this... doing your job for you...

So! Apparently, I've been yanked from Earth by some cosmic... entity... thing... that's supposedly a great threat. In the middle of getting dimensionally yanked from my home, the universe... or something... was able to step in and knock me somewhere else, instead of being consumed. That somewhere else happens to be Equestria.

Then it turns out that that's just a giant excuse plot for me to send myself into Equestria! Because God, or Celestia considering the circumstances, knows how long I've procrast—

<Really? Okay, you know what—back to the narrative for you.>

"—Wait, wh—"

Princess Celestia catches a book thief.

The thief stays for tea.

Edited by Melange and RBDash47; cover by RBDash47

Technically set in Crisscross and Anzel's Quill and Blade universe, but knowledge of it isn't required. Originally an entry for their Super Summer Jam contest.

Follow the adventures of an socially awkward adult human trapped in a little colt body, as he is force to relive his childhood; face the horrors of Equestria and all it abnormal gender roles; and fight an army of darkness??? Wait what?! Only time will time if our little 'hero' and his group of friends has what it takes to save Equestria and everyone in it.

First Ark: Star Circuit Falls
"Hello, my name is… Runt, Weirdo, Freak, Monster, Psycho, Unwanted Child, Weakling… to be honest I have been called so many things, it no wonder that I forgot… I forgot my name and every name I ever knew. But that is not what this story is about… this is about how I got lost, found a new name, and was forced to be something I felt I wasn’t. It all started in November, about a week before Thanksgiving."

Second Ark: Winter Break

(Humans only during flashbacks.)

When a family of thestrals move to Ponyville, a filly named Redheart becomes best friends with a clumsy, but kind bat pony colt called Shaggy. Fluff ensues.

NOTE: Crimson Star/"Shaggy" is my OC from The Human Pet, but this is not canon to that story.

Given a unique perspective on negative emotion, less than a foal's knowledge of ordinary magic, a healthy schadenfreude, and danger bearing down on all sides, the self-proclaimed "Weiss Noir" makes no plans accounting for his death, and plans to keep it that way, even after being torn away from earth, turned into a unicorn, and dumped into one of the most inhospitable locations and times in all of Equestria.

Stranded in the Frozen North, a place where biting cold ends lives, and one thousand years in the past, in a time when peril is the norm, rather than the exception, Weiss decides to indulge in sorcery most foul, stolen ideas, and human ingenuity to survive.

Given the choice between a mad slaver and a mad sage, however, there is no avoiding an inevitable tide of ponies escaping the conquered Crystal Empire to bask in the warmth of his well-stoked hate. Something which draws attention, enemies, and most worryingly, the rivalry of his "peers".

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Anon may be the smallest standing in all of Equestria, but he is the largest when if comes to having fun. Always getting himself and ponies around him into shenanigans. Anon likes to take thing up to 11, and many of the ponies let him. Join us as we sit back and watch Anon do things that no human has done before.

This fic contains very large ponies.

This story is a sequel to How many friends have you made today?!

Things are a lot better for Anon since the events of Ponyville. His store is doing great and he enjoys the company of all his friends. As the days go on, he finds that the problems of the past are quick to haunt him as he is forced to face the one thing that hurt him the most.

Anon likes his life to be simple. He wakes up, goes to work and sometimes gets himself a good book to read while he is home. It's a routine that he likes to follow, it makes him feel like he has a bit of normality with his life in Equestria. The fact that having Celestia come crashing into his home as part of his routine should prove that his life is anything but normal.

(Thanks to PeerImagination for editing!)

A startling situation arises when Princess Celestia begins acting crazily and violently cuddling the ponies around her. Fearing the breakdown of the government, Princess Luna and one of Canterlot's most unfortunate doctors hatch a plan to cure her by letting her cuddle the daylights out of a Royal Guard.

Cover art is by magister39.

EDIT: #2 featured on 6/17!
EDIT: Now with an AUDIO READING by LonelyFanboy48!

Meet Osaka Jones, as a human he was an avid drinker and freelance writer for less then savory magazines.
Now after somehow falling through the sky into another world.
He's now a dark orange Pegasus with a brown and purple mane, stuck in a land of other colorful ponies who in his opinion are just too damn happy most of the time, and don't believe he was ever human to begin with. Well except for that mint green unicorn, but she's crazy as hell.
And to top it all off the only alcohol in this world is hard cider and wine, plus a little Pegasus filly keeps thinking that he's her long lost Father!