//------------------------------// // But I Wish He Was // Story: The Misadventures of Osaka Jones // by RabidTonberry //------------------------------// “Cutiemark Crusaders Philosophers Go!” the three fillies yelled out in their clubhouse at Sweet Apple Acres. They sat in a semi-circle in the middle of the floor each of them with intense looks of concentration plastered on their faces. “I think therefore I apple,” Apple Bloom muttered. “True peace is nothing but a lie. Animosity is our true nature,” Scootaloo said nodding her head slowly. “You guys ever wonder if we’re just characters in some story that has really bad character development,” Sweetie Belle mumbled out. Both Scootaloo and Apple Bloom gave Sweetie Belle a strange look. “What?” Sweetie squeaked. It seemed like Apple Bloom was about to say something but she was interrupted by a knock on the club house door. Scootaloo got up and headed to the door. She opened it and was greeted by Rainbow Dash smiling down at her. “Hiya Squirt,” Rainbow greeted. “Hi Rainbow,” Scootaloo said confused. “I thought you weren’t going to come pick me up for another three hours? We’re still in the middle of crusading.” “Don’t worry Scoots I’m not here to drag you away from your friends, but there has been a slight change of plans.” “What do you mean?” “Well,” Rainbow sighed. “Apparently the higher ups at the Weather Factory have called an emergency meeting back in Cloudsdale tonight and I have to go.” “Oh,” Scootaloo looked down. “Yea, but don’t worry Scoots,” she said ruffling Scootaloo’s mane reassuringly. “Osaka will be with you tonight. He’s just tied up at Rarity’s at the moment so when Sweetie Belle heads home tonight just go with her and meet Osaka at the Boutique.” “Alright,” Scootaloo mumbled at the floor. Rainbow reached over and wrapped Scootaloo in a hug, “Don’t worry Scootaloo I’ll be safe and I’ll be home in the morning to take you to school, okay?” Rainbow said softly, nuzzling Scootaloo’s cheek. “Okay Rainbow Dash,” Scootaloo softly replied. Rainbow Dash put Scootaloo down and ruffled her mane again, “Alright, you be good for Osaka and I’ll see you in the morning,” Rainbow said. She turned around and was about to head out the door when a thought struck her, “Hey Apple Bloom did AJ figure out how Pinkie turned half the apple trees to orange trees yet?” “Nope, but she got Zecora working on it,” Apple Bloom answered. “Hmm, maybe I should pay attention the next time Osaka starts claiming that she’s a cultist,” Rainbow mused to herself. “Oh, well,” she shrugged, “You girls have fun, and I’ll see you tomorrow morning Scoot’s.” and with that Rainbow Dash left and took off. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle sat there looking at Scootaloo. As she just sat in front of the door, staring at the floor. “Are you alright Scootaloo?” Sweetie asked. “There is a pony that looks like my dad” Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo trotted through Ponyville on their way to Carousal Boutique, with Sweetie happily skipping along and Scootaloo slowly walking behind, head held low. “Cheer up Scootaloo I thought for sure that we would get our cutiemarks in philosophy too, but I’m sure will get them for sure next time,” Sweetie said bouncing along. “Yea,” Scootaloo solemnly replied. Sweetie stopped and turned to her friend, “Scoots are you okay? You’ve been kind of down ever since…,” Sweetie was interrupted by a loud bang that seemed to have come from Carousal Boutique. Scootaloo looked up at Sweetie and without a word between them they both took off. They both arrived at Carousal Boutique to find Osaka Jones leaning against the front door trying to keep a slightly annoyed sounding Rarity inside. “Stop acting so rude Osaka and get back in here so I can finish getting your measurements,” Rarity yelled from behind the door. “You've been taking my measurements for the past five hours you crazy women! How are you not done yet?” “You can’t rush perfection Osaka dear. Now get back in here. The party is tomorrow night and I still haven’t gotten your suit finished yet.” “Why do I even need to wear a suit? I normally just walk around naked.” “Because Pinkie and I have decided to turn the party into a classy one so therefore you need a suit. Now get back in here. It won’t take that much longer.” Rarity said using her magic to push at the door. “That’s what you said five hours ago,” Osaka yelled pushing back against the door and Rarity’s magic. “Oh Celestia, you’re just like Rainbow Dash so impatient,” Rarity grunted. “It’s not like you can just up and leave anyway, darling. You’re supposed to be waiting for Scootaloo as well.” “Damn, she’s right,” Osaka thought, closing his eyes and pushing all his weight into the door. “Hey Osaka, what’s going on?” Scootaloo asked walking up with Sweetie Belle. Osaka’s eyes snapped open. He turned his head and looked at Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, “SCOOTALOO,” Osaka yelled flying towards her, “No time to explain got to go!” he said grabbing Scootaloo and flying off. Sweetie Belle watched as the Osaka Jones sped off with Scootaloo in his grasp after a moment she shrugged and walked into the boutique where Rarity waited. “You were already done with his measurements weren’t you Sis? You were just enjoying torturing him weren't you?” Sweetie asked. “What, he’s cute when he’s flustered like that. It’s only too bad Rainbow called dibs on him,” Rarity said closing the door to her shop. “He’s always kind to me” “So Scoots how was your day?” Osaka asked opening the door to Rainbow’s house for the little filly. “It was alright,” she said walking into the house, “Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and I tried to earn our cutiemarks in philosophy, but it didn't work out.” “That’s probably a good thing. philosophy is dead anyway, also there’s no money to make in it,” Osaka said closing the door. “I guess,” Scootaloo mumbled placing her saddle bags next to the coffee table in the living room. She looked behind her and waved a hoof at the sleeping Lyra, “I wish I could sleep all day.” “I know what you mean Scoots. I just spent the last ten hours with Pinkie Pie and Rarity planning out the final details for the party tomorrow. I would of much rather have spent the whole day in bed then deal with those two at the same time. If it wasn’t Pinkie being Pinkie, it was Rarity fussing over the smallest of non-important detail. It almost drove me crazy…well crazier. I mean Rarity spent a good three hours making sure the measurements for my diccc…,” Osaka stopped himself remembering who he was talking to, “private region were just right…you know for my suit,” Osaka recovered. Scootaloo tilted her head to the side, “Are you sure I can’t come with you and Rainbow to the party tomorrow night? I promise to be good.” Osaka sighed and shook his head. “Sorry Scootaloo it’s an adult type of party also a business party. Trust me there wouldn’t be anything there for you to do or any other foals to play with,” Scootaloo frowned a little bit but she eventually uttered an, “Okay.” “Don’t be upset Scootaloo. Ditzy and Time Turner have agreed to have you and your friends over for a sleepover tomorrow night so you won’t be alone all night with a random foal sitter. You’ll have your friends plus Dinky, and I also think Pip.” “That sounds like it might be fun,” Scootaloo said. “I’m sure it will be, but if it isn't I assure you that Rainbow and I will make it up to you.” “Really?” “Really, now do you have any homework you need to do?” “Yeahhh,” Scootaloo moaned out. Osaka chuckled, and then cleared his throat, “Alright you get to work on that and I’ll see what I can find for dinner.” “Okayyy,” Scootaloo moaned again plopping down behind the coffee table. She pulled her saddle bag to her side and began to dig through it. Osaka went into the kitchen and began to dig around in the pantry and cupboards looking for something easy and quick to fix, that wasn’t salad. Osaka didn’t have anything really against salad. It was just that it was the main dinner item on the menu in the Dash household besides daisy sandwiches and hayfries. Osaka had been living with Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo for almost a month now and he had come to one realization during his time living there. Rainbow Dash could not cook. So most of the stuff that Rainbow made for him and Scootaloo were mostly salads and sandwiches, and if nopony was in the mood for a sandwich or a salad then they just went out to eat. Which Osaka would have done as well, since he didn’t know how well he could cook as a pony, but the thought that Rarity might be looking for him so she could finish her measurements on him kept him inside the Pegasi and one sleeping Unicorn only cloud house. So he continued to look through the kitchen for any sign of food until he came upon a box of noodles and a can of pasta sauce. Osaka shrugged, “This will work,” he said. “What will work?” Scootaloo yelled from the living room. “Nothing just found some food that’s all,” he replied. “Okay…you’re not going to burn the house down are you?” she called out. Osaka shivered from the memory of the last time Rainbow had tried to use the oven. She claimed she wanted to try her hoof at baking. But what came out of that oven was not a cake but the gates of hell. To this day Osaka still didn’t understand how somepony could start a small fire in a house entirely made of clouds. “No, I’m not Rainbow Dash I know how to use the stove,” he replied back. “Are you sure? Cause Rainbow said that before too.” “I’m sure Scootaloo. Don’t worry I got this,” Osaka said pouring the sauce into a nearby pot and putting it on the stove, and turning the burner on low. He then grabbed another pot and filled that one halfway with water. He placed it on the stove as well and cranked the burner to the max. “Nothing more boring than waiting for water to boil,” Osaka mumbled. “What was that?” Scootaloo asked walking into the kitchen. “Oh, I was just complaining that I had to wait for the water to boil. You’re done with your homework already?” “Yup, all I really had to do was finish a math worksheet,” Scootaloo said climbing into a chair at the kitchen table. “Did you do it right?” “Mhmm,” Scootaloo nodded. “Good girl,” Osaka said continuing to eye the unboiling pot of water. “Hey Osaka…” “Yea?” “Do you know what the weather is supposed to be like tonight?” “I think Rainbow mention something about rain this morning.” Osaka replied not seeing the worrisome look that crept onto Scootaloo’s face for he was too preoccupied with watching the pot that still refused to boil. “Umm, just rain? No thunder or lightning or anything?” There was something in Scootaloo’s voice that made Osaka turn and regard the little filly that was sitting somberly at the kitchen table; face down casted studying the grain of the kitchen table’s wood. “I don’t…really know Scoots. Rainbow didn’t say anything about it,” he paused and looked over Scootaloo one more time, “Are you all…” “The waters boiling over,” she interrupted. “Fuck,” he shouted turning back to the stove. He turned down the heat and was about halfway through pouring the spaghetti noodles into the boiling water when he realized what he just said in front of Scootaloo. He looked over his shoulder and saw Scootaloo staring at him in shock, mouth hanging open. “I’ll take you out for cupcakes this weekend if you don’t tell Rainbow I said that in front of you,” he told her. Scootaloo immediately smiled and nodded her head, “Deal!” “But he can be a little odd” “So how is it?” Osaka asked over his plate of spaghetti. “It’s good,” Scootaloo replied. Little streaks of pasta sauce were speckled in places across her muzzle. “It’s kind of hard to mess up spaghetti isn't it?” she asked. “Oh trust me it can be done,” he smiled at her, “there were quite a few times in college where somehow I boiled the noodles into paste,” he shrugged, “Still ate it though, “He said while at the same time using a fork that was clasped in the tip of one of his wings to bring another helping of spaghetti into his mouth. “Kind of wish we had meatballs though,” he said through a mouthful of noodles. “Meatballs?” “Yea, little balls of meat generally made of pork or beef. Goes great with pasta dishes such as this,” he gestured to the spaghetti in front of him. He then paused for a minute and scratched his chin, “Wait ponies don’t eat meat do they,” he paused again, “why am I just know realizing this? I guess meat isn’t that much of a priority to me now,” he continued. He would have continued on for longer, but the sound of Scootaloo clearing her throat stopped him. “You’ve eaten meat before? As in other living creatures?” she asked. “Well….umm yea…I wasn’t an ummm…,” he stammered. “What did it taste like?” “Well, wait, what?” Scootaloo shrugged, “Just curious. I know that gryphons and other creatures eat meat, but grownups say we’re not supposed to talk about it for some reason.” “I see,” Osaka said tilting his head slightly for a second. “I guess it’s a touchy subject to talk about in public. But to answer your question, meat tastes like meat. It’s kind of hard to explain unless you have had it.” “Do you ever have cravings for it?” Osaka scratched at his chin and shrugged, “Eh, I guess not. This is the first time I've thought about meat since I've gotten here. It’s not like could eat meat anyway. It’s kind of hard when you have flat teeth.” “It is?” “Yup, kind of hard to tear into a nice juicy steak when your teeth are all flat and blunt,” Osaka stopped and thought for a second, “It’s also kind of hard when the steak belongs to a cow named Bessie and you just bought a gallon of milk from her the other day at the market,” He added with a chuckle. “Your weird,” Scootaloo giggled. Osaka rolled her eyes at her which caused another fit of giggles to come from the little filly. "Yea, I know I am. Now finish your dinner,” He said smiling at Scootaloo, which Scootaloo gladly returned. “Really odd in fact, but it’s cool.” “I’m going to have to change the names, but I’m sure that will be alright. Just got to make sure they’re cool with me writing the story. I’ll ask Ditzy and Time Turner for permission when I see them tomorrow,” Osaka mumbled to himself lost in his own little world. He was sitting on the couch in the living room jotting down notes in an open notebook. “What do you need Ditzy’s and Time Turner’s permission for?” “Hmm?” Osaka looked up from his notebook and looked over at Scootaloo. She was in the middle of feeding their left over spaghetti to Lyra. She had one hoof keeping Lyra’s mouth shut and another stroking her throat so she would swallow. Osaka took in the odd sight in front of him for a moment than he remembered Scootaloo’s question. “Well… the other day Ditzy and Time Turner told me a story and I think it would make a good short story and I just want to get their blessing before I write it and try to get it published,” Osaka told her. “Oh,” she replied. Lyra made a swallowing sound so Scootaloo let go and opened Lyra’s mouth. Pleased that Lyra swallowed it all she closed Lyra’s mouth and turned to Osaka. “What kind of story is it?” she asked. “Well uhh it’s an umm adult story,” Osaka sweated out. “Ohhh…a dirty story.” Scootaloo knowingly replied. “You know about those?” “One of the caretakers at the orphanage use to read them all the time. Every now and then she would misplace the book and I and some of the other foal would read them,” Scootaloo blushed. “Is that why you were unsurprised when you walked in on Vinyl and Octavia making out in the Apple Family Barn that one day?” “No I was unsurprised by that because I once walked in on two other caretakers kissing and doing other stuffffff,” Scootaloo trailed off blushing harder. Osaka just stared at Scootaloo; taking a quick mental note to have the authorities check out the orphanage Scootaloo went to. “Try not to grow up to fast,” he finally told her. “I’m trying not too but you and Rainbow Dash aren’t making it easy,” she sarcastically replied with a giggle. “Har Har, very funny,” Osaka said rolling his eyes. He glanced over to a nearby clock that hung on the wall, “Hey it’s getting late. It’s time for you to get ready for bed.” “Aww come on! Can’t I stay up? Rainbow will never know.” “Sorry Scoots you still have school tomorrow. Now run up stairs and take a bath. I’ll be up after to tuck you in.” “Alllrighttt,” Scootaloo whined making her up the stairs to the bathroom. Osaka watched Scootaloo slump her way up the stairs and he shook his head with a smile on his face. As soon as she was out of sight he made his way over to the closet underneath the stairs. He opened it up and looked at the barrel of whiskey that was held within. He grabbed a glass that he had started to leave in the closet along with the barrel. He looked at the glass, then at the barrel, and then up at the stairs. He then put the glass down and closed the closet door. As he turned away he heard the sound of heavy rain drops hitting against the cloud house roof. Scootaloo was happily playing with a toy boat lost in her own little world. Then she heard the rain beating against the house, and she froze. “But he’s not my Dad” Osaka tucked Scootaloo in and looked at her. The little filly seemed apprehensive about something but she didn't want to talk about it. Osaka had asked her what was wrong when he had found her just standing in the middle of the tub staring off into space completely frozen, but she had simply claimed that she just got distracted by something. That was clearly not the case and Osaka knew it. “Are you sure you’re alright Scoots?” he asked. “Yes I’m fine,” she simply replied snuggling deeper into her blanket. Osaka only nodded. It seemed that Scootaloo didn't want to talk about it and he wasn't going to force her if she didn't want to. “Okay, then goodnight Scootaloo. Sweet dreams,” he said ruffling her mane. Osaka made it halfway across the room before Scootaloo spoke up, “Hey Osaka,” she said. “Yea?” he replied turning back around. “Can you read me a story?” Osaka stared at the little filly giving him big purple puppy dog eyes. He sighed and said, “No,” he then turned around walked out of the room and turned off the lights. Scootaloo gave out a defeated sighed and rolled over, “That would have helped kept my mind off the rain,” she mumbled into her pillow. It was at that moment that Osaka walked back in turning on the lights. He pulled out a book that he had had tucked in between his wings, “Yeah I was only kidding of course I’ll read you a story,” he said pulling a nearby chair over to the side of the bed. “Rainbow said she was reading this Daring Doo book to you. Now let’s see where you guys left off,” Osaka opened the book. Scootaloo jolted awake as a clash of thunder rippled the ground below. She shuddered and wrapped her blanket around herself. She looked around the darken room her eyes slowly adjusting to the dark. She noticed that the chair besides her bed was now empty, except for a lone book that sat upon it. She guessed that Osaka had stopped reading and left after she had nodded off. A flash of lighting illuminated her room through her bedroom window, and she whimpered pulling her blanket tightly around her. Looking around the room one last time she hesitantly got out of bed and made her way downstairs, her blanket dragging across the floor. Scootaloo found Osaka splayed out on his back, eyes closed, resting peacefully on the couch/bed. Scootaloo crept to the edge of the couch and sat down on the floor unsure how, or if she should wake up Osaka or not. It was during this pondering that another boom of thunder resonated catching her off guard, she jumped right out of her blanket cocoon and into the air. She landed back down and quickly rewrapped herself in her blanket unaware that Osaka had opened his eyes and was looking at her. “Are you alright Scootaloo?” Scootaloo froze in her rewrapping and slowly looked up at Osaka, “Uhh, hi Osaka….I didn’t mean to wake you up,” she awkwardly muttered. “That’s okay. I wasn’t really asleep yet,” Osaka yawned out. It was then that another flash of lighting illuminated the room, and Osaka noticed that Scootaloo hide herself further beneath her blanket. “Are you afraid of thunderstorms?” “Umm… no… kind…of…I mean… it’s complicated…,” she defensively muttered out. Osaka just nodded his head and scooted over and lifted the side of his blanket up. Scootaloo looked at him with a puzzled expression on her face, “What are you doing?” she asked. Osaka rolled his eyes at the question and as if on cue another round of thunder echoed and rumbled outside. Scootaloo instantly jumped out of her blanket to underneath Osaka’s blanket and curled into a ball at his side. “This doesn’t mean I’m afraid of thunderstorms it’s… just that…,” she began to say her voice muffled by her tail that was draped over her face. “Shh, its okay Scoots,” Osaka interrupted draping a foreleg over her and pulling her into a small hug. “You don’t have to tell me what’s got you so upset if you don’t want to.” Scootaloo relaxed into the hug and returned it as well. “Thanks Osaka,” she said snuggling into Osaka’s side. “No problem Scoots. Now let’s get some sleep, you still got school in the morning after all.” “Yea, I know,” she murmured. She and Osaka lay there in silence for a few moments before she finally took a deep breath and said, “My Dad disappeared in the middle of a strom.” Osaka tilted his head down and looked at Scootaloo, “Is that why you don’t like storms?” “It’s not that I don’t like them it’s just that…” “Rainbow isn’t here?” Osaka finished for her. Scootaloo nodded her head against Osaka’s side. “Scootaloo nothing is going to happen to Rainbow. She’s not even out flying in this weather. She left for Cloudsdale hours ago. She’s most likely passed out asleep in some hotel room. You just need to relax and get some sleep and she will be here when you wake up in the morning,” he reassured her. “You promise?” “I promise. Now let’s get some sleep,” he smiled. Scootaloo smiled back, “Okay, goodnight Osaka,” she said snuggling into his side again. Osaka draped a wing around her. “Goodnight Alex,” he sleepy mumbled before drifting off into a dream less sleep. “But I wish he was” Scootaloo was awoken by the sound of a door closing. She poked her head out from underneath the blanket and saw Rainbow Dash quietly hovering next to the couch. Rainbow noticed her staring at her and landed on the floor. “Why are you sleeping down here with Osaka, Scoots?” she whispered. “I uhh…was having trouble sleeping last night,” she blushed. “The storm?” Scootaloo only nodded her head. “It’s okay Squirt there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I should have told you about it before I left but I was in a hurry and I forgot.” “That’s okay Rainbow.” Rainbow smiled and leaned in and nuzzled Scootaloo’s cheek. She then glanced over at the sleeping form of Osaka, “Was Osaka cool with it?” “Yea,” Scootaloo replied as she slowly slid out from underneath the blanket so she wouldn’t wake up Osaka. Once she was out she looked up at Rainbow, “Hey Rainbow who’s Alex?” “Beats me, why you ask?” “Well Osaka called me that just before he fell asleep last night.” Rainbow looked over Osaka who was still ignorantly sleeping away and she studied him with a brow raised in thought.