General wackiness, no real story. Just Anon the human having fun with some bigger than canon ponies.
Anon may be the smallest standing in all of Equestria, but he is the largest when if comes to having fun. Always getting himself and ponies around him into shenanigans. Anon likes to take thing up to 11, and many of the ponies let him. Join us as we sit back and watch Anon do things that no human has done before.
Luna looks down to Anonymous as he works on something.
“Pray tell, what is it that you’re working on, Sir Anonymous?”
Anon doesn't give a glance at the pony that is towing over him. Anon has to admit that he likes this pony place. Sure the ponies are giant, but they let him get away with some pretty wacky stuff. He assumes it’s because they are so big and he is so small. If Luna were standing up, his head would probably reach around the middle of her chest. Something he was cool with, again, they usually don't pay him much mind.
Like right now for example. He is currently making a slingshot to launch water balloons at a certain pony. He was able to score some surgical tubing from the hospital in Ponyville, and a sturdy piece of rubber from Sweet apple acres. He’s sure Applejack won't mind him borrowing her stuff. Once he is done tying off each end does he look over to Luna.
“Do you mind lowing your head some?”
Luna finds that Anonymous makes the oddest of requests at times. She likes his company though, so she usually complies. She lowers her head till it is almost face to face with Anon. Even while lying down she still needs to stretch her neck a bit.
“Tilt your head so you horn is slightly lower.” Anon instructs. “There!”
Luna is looking slightly at the ground unsure what he is up to. Anon looks over at the pony to the right of Luna.
“Chrysalis, can you do the same as Luna?” Anon asks.
“Why?” Chrysalis asks with slight annoyance.
Chrysalis doesn't understand why these ponies put up with this creature's antics. He gets away with things that other ponies would be punished for. Then again, she does have to thank him for somehow getting the two sister to forgive her and her race for that wedding thing.
“Come now, Chrysalis. Humor him.” Luna calls out.
Chrysalis rolls her eyes as she also leans her head down as well. Making sure to tilt her head so her horn is pointing towards Ponyville. Anon walks over and grabs Chrysalis’ horn and moves it a little closer to Luna’s.
“Perfect!” He shouts.
Chrysalis and Luna look to each other unsure why he is so happy.
“Just stay still.” Anon tells them.
They watch as Anon takes one part of the surgical tubing and ties it off on Luna’s horn. He then takes the other end and ties it off on Chrysalis’ horn. He claps his hands in excitement as he quickly runs over to a very large bucket. At least five foot tall. He jumps inside as Luna and Chrysalis hold their position. A small water balloon comes flying out, landing in front of them. Anon hops out and picks up the balloon. He places it into the center of the rubber in his makeshift slingshot. With some strain he slowly starts to pull the entire things back.
Both princess Luna and Chrysalis sit there still confused at what he is planning. They watch as Anon pulls the entire contraption back till he can't move it any farther. With a strained voice Anon shouts out loud.
“Suck it, Pinkie!”
He lets go of the entire thing as it quickly whips past the two ponies. Sending the water balloon soaring into sky towards Ponyville. Anon quickly runs past them as he watches the balloon's trajectory. Luna and Chrysalis look up and watch the balloon as it flies. A certain pink mare walking merrily down the street comes into sight. Anon is holding his breath as the balloon is about to hit its mark.
That’s until he notices Pinkie's tail twitch, then her suddenly diving out of the way. The balloon comes crashing down next to her, not a single drop on her fur.
“Aw man!” Anon shouts. He quickly looks back to Chrysalis and Luna. “Can you believe that?!”
Chrysalis removes the tubing from her horn with an unamused glare towards Anon. Luna removes the tubing as well but can't help but smile at her small friends childlike spirit.
“Better luck next time, Sir Anonymous.” Luna says with a giggle.
He just falls to the ground with a groan. He was hoping to get that pink mare this time. He looks up into the sky feeling rather blue. That’s until he notices a certain Rainbow pony flying around. He jumps to his feet in an instant. He runs up to Luna.
“Quick, toss me at Rainbow Dash!” He shouts.
Luna wasn't too sure about this one. She didn't wish to see her friend harmed. As it turns out, it wasn't really her choice.
“Allow me!” Chrysalis wraps Anon in her magic and tosses him like a dart towards the flying mare.
“Why did you do such a thing!” Luna yells at Chrysalis.
“He’ll be fine.” She waves it off.
Rainbow is currently going about her normal routine. Clearing these clouds can be really boring, but it’s part of her job. It’s really peaceful up here in the clouds as well. Ponyville can be rather noisy, especially with Pinkie around. But in the sky, she can just fly here and enjoy the silence.
Rainbow doesn't get a second to register what is happening as something collides into her while in mid-air. Did somepony throw a hoof ball at her?! She feels whatever it is start to climb onto her back.
“Fly my pet, fly!” She hears a cackle rise from behind her.
She looks over her shoulder to find Anon mounted on her back.
“Anon?” She asked confused. “How the hay in Equestria did you even get up here?!”
He takes a lock of her rainbow mane as makeshift reins. He digs his heels into her forelegs, which does little more than scratch an itch she had.
“I said fly my pet!” He shouts. “To Canterlot! We ride against the Equestrian princess’!”
“Anon, I don't have time to play right now!” Rainbow says annoyed.
“Come on!” He shouts. “The sky is clear! This might be the only chance we get to take over Equestria!”
She shakes her head. “No, Anon. I told you that we aren't going to take over Equestria. At least not until you get Applejack to join our cause.” She says playing his game.
He rubs his chin as he speaks in a deeper voice. “You speak truths that clear my mind. The apple clan is strong, their will unbreakable. To have them on our side would assure our victory. It seems my revenge will have to wait.”
Rainbow rolls her eyes. “Looks like it. So where do you want to me drop you off at?” She asks.
He points over to the the small hill outside of Ponyville.
“Return me to my two informants.” He says.
Rainbow quickly flies over and spots Luna and Chrysalis sitting on the hill. She lands softly in front of them. Using one of her wings, she stretches it to the ground as Anon walks down it as if it were a set of stairs. He walks over to Luna as she gives him a short nuzzle, one that is ignored by Anon.
“You are dismissed!” Anon waves Rainbow off.
She shakes her head some at that, but quickly takes her leave. She has some pranks she can be pulling right about now. Anon returns to his seat next to Luna. It definitely has been a good day today. The three of them watch the sun slowly descend over the horizon. Luna bumps Anon with her muzzle.
“Time for us to return to Canterlot.” She tells him
He gives a nod. “Yeah, seems like it.” He looks over to Chrysalis. “Swissy.”
Chrysalis gives a small growl at Anons name for her.
“Just leave before I flatten you.” She warns.
He doesn't seem to react to her threat. He just shrugs as he walks over to her and hugs her, but being his size, it’s more like leaning against her with arms wide open.
“Good night.” He says, walking away towards Luna, climbing up her wing and onto her back.
Nothing else is said as they quickly take off into the coming night sky. Anon looks towards the approaching castle. One day, one day he will rule these ponies with an iron first.
“Cannon ball!” Anon shouts as he jumps from the diving board into the waiting water below.
A small splash is made. Large for a human his size, but not very impressive by pony standards. Anon resurfaces to the top as he floats in place.
“Respectable, Sir Anonymous.” Luna says.
Anon turns around and spots Luna looking down at him from the high dive. She is currently wearing a one piece bathing suit that is a few shades lighter than her coat. A swimming cap over her mane and ears to help keep water out. So to put it simply for you. She looks ridiculous.
“Allow us to show you something grand.” She says just before she leaps from the board.
All Anon can do at this moment is watch in horror as Luna falls through the air, she slams into the water at full speed right next to him. Creating a slash that literally comes crashing over anyone unfortunate enough to be standing within a fifty foot radius.
“Luna!” Anon hears someone scream in shock.
Anon looks over and can't help but laugh out loud once he spots who called out. Celestia is looking to the pool with a glare of hatred. Her entire body, head to hoof, soaking wet. She came out here to sunbathe a little and now she is drenched to the bone. Anon can't look away from Celestia, his laughter slowly peaking. At least, until he is pulled underwater by something.
He fights against whatever is holding him under. It lets him go as he resurfaces. A gasp for air comes once he breaks the surface. He then notices two slim legs wrap around his front, pulling him against something. He looks up to see Luna looking down to him with a playful smile.
“Are you crazy! You could’ve killed me!” Anon shouts in anger.
“We would never allow harm to come to you.” She says with a hurt tone.
Anon lets out a groan. “Yeah, yeah.. Don't get all emotional.”
“Luna!” Celestia walks over to the edge of the pool. “What did I tell you about copying Anonymous!”
“That it would be detrimental to our health?” Luna says uncertain.
“Exactly! Just because he does something, doesn't mean you should do it too!”
“Lighten up, Sunbutt. We’re just trying to beat the heat. Something we wouldn't be doing if you would just move the sun away from the planet.”
Celestia lets out a snort. “I told you, Anonymous. It’s summer, this is the time needed for crop growth. I can't move the sun away because you are uncomfortable with the heat.”
“Then don't get mad at us if you get wet while sitting next to a pool Luna and I are swimming in.” Anon states matter of factly.
Luna proceeds to slowly fall backwards so she can float on her back. Anon now lays stomach to stomach with her. He just shrugs as he rests on her like a giant floaty.
“Hey, I'm not done talking!” Celestia shouts.
“Too bad. Luna and I are relaxing. Ever heard of that before?” Anon taunts.
Celestia starts to feel her blood boil. To think that creature would dare talk down to her in such a way! He barely stands as high as her hock and he thinks he runs this place!
“Perhaps Sir Anonymous is right, sister.” Luna says. “Hast thou ever took to the idea of joining us?”
“I’m perfectly fine out in the sun, Luna.” Celestia says. “You know I dislike water.”
This gets Anon to quirk an eyebrow. Neither Luna nor Celestia saw it, but a small grin is starting to grow on his face. Celestia just lets out a small sigh as she returns to her seat. Her coat will take hours to dry, even in this blazing heat. Not to mention her ethereal mane can hold an impressive amount of liquid. She would be lucky if she gets to bed dry tonight.
Anon is currently plotting. Celestia was a fool to simply out one of her weaknesses aloud. He would make sure to take full advantage of it.
“What is it that thou thinks of?” Luna asks as she looks down to Anon that lays on her chest.
“Luna, are you familiar with pranks?” He whispers.
A devious smile grows on her lips. “I am.”
He slowly shuffles his way up her chest to get a little closer.
“How would you like to help me with one?” He asks. She gives a quick nod. “Alright, first thing we need to do is get away from your sister. Got any ideas?”
Luna gives a nod. She quickly ignites her horn and levitates Anon off of her and into the air. She lifts herself out of the water, slowly makes her way to the shallow end. She places Anon onto her back as she gets out. Celestia looks at Luna with a quirked brow.
“Where are you off to?” She asks.
Luna looks at her sister. “We simply need to relieve ourselves, sister.”
“Why is Anon going with you?”
Luna feels her cheeks get a little red, now that she thinks about how poorly her excuse sounded.
“Well, um.. he requires our assistance. We cannot allow him to be flushed, now can we?”
Celestia wasn't really too sure if she bought that explanation. Sure he’s small, but not small enough to be flushed. Then again, now that she thinks about it. That does explain why she always catches Luna going into the restroom with him. Perhaps her sister is getting too close to this creature? She wouldn't be surprised if they both shared her bed.
“Very well.” She goes back to laying in the sun.
“We will be back momentarily!” Luna says as she trots away.
“Nice!”
Anon shouts as he hops to his feet while Luna continues her trot. Like he is surfing on her back. Luna looks over her shoulder to her friend.
“What is it that you require?” She asks.
He smiles at her.
“A bucket and access to your sister's room.” His devious smile infecting Luna as well.
“Easily obtainable.”
Anon gives a few nods at his handy work. Simplicity is key to any good prank.
“Art thou sure that this plan will work?” Luna says as she looks at the guards she’s locked in stasis.
Anon chuckles as he pats Luna on the back.
“Trust me, it’ll work. We just need to play the waiting game.”
Luna gives a nod as they make their way back to the pool. Luna undoing her magic on the guards so they wouldn’t be locked in time. Celestia will be none the wiser over what awaits her later tonight.
“Does thou have any fives?” Luna asks.
Anon looks down to the cards in his hand. Luna and him were finished with swimming awhile ago. So they are now in the kitchen playing go fish while they wait for dinner to be served.
“Nah.” He answers in a bored tone.
Luna uses her magic to get another card as Anon thinks over what cards she could have.
“Any princesses?” He asks.
“Drat.” Luna tosses two Celestia’s onto the table.
“Can’t you two just sit quietly for once?” Celestia says, rubbing her temples with her hooves.
“What’s your problem, Sunbutt?” Anon says with a snort. “Nobles give you some more trash?”
She grinds her teeth some at that name. “I told you to never call me that.”
“Really?” Anon shrugs. “I hardly listen to anything you say.”
She lets out a sigh as she goes back to rubbing her temples. Celestia hears Anon give out a yelp in pain. She looks up to see her sister giving him a slight glare while Anon rubs something under the table.
“Dammit, I think you shanked me with your leg!” He says past his clenched teeth.
“What did we tell you about being mean?” Luna scolds some.
“That you find it arousing?” He jokes past the pain. Until he gives another yelp. “God! I think I need stitches!” He fall out of his chair clenching his leg tightly.
“We think you deserve it. We already had this discussion before.” Luna says coldly.
“Alright!” Anon says. “Be nicer to your sister. Now can you please heal me!”
Luna smiles at that as her horn glows. Anon stops holding his leg in pain as he climbs back into his chair, a sour look on his face.
“I swear those pointy legs are nightmare fuel.” He mumbles bitterly.
“We are sorry.” Luna says looking rather down.
Anon lets out a sigh. “No, that was my bad.”
Celestia can only look between these two with a raised brow. She find their relationship so strange. It seems at times that Luna lets him get away with pretty much anything. Then there are moments like this, where she reels him back in. She must say she is proud of her sister for at least sticking up for her and having a talk with Anon.
“So when’s dinner?” Anon looks around the empty dining hall.
“It should be here in a few minutes.” Celestia breaks her silence.
“Cool.” Anon says, acting like nothing had happened at all a few moments ago.
Celestia must say that she finds this human to be very confusing. She wonders if their entire race is as random as he is. If she weren’t so sure, she would assume these were the offspring of Discord himself. Always creating chaos and disharmony. Yet, he somehow finds balance with her sister. An offset, if you will. Her thoughts get no time to linger as the sound of a door catches their attention.
In comes the staff with many plates in their magic. They set the plates onto the table in front of each pony and human. They leave without a single word. Luna magics off the covers on both her plate and Anons. Anon looks down to his simple turkey sandwich, or at least what tastes like turkey. Lucky for him, the staff actually cuts his sandwiches to size. So he picks one up and starts eating.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Luna asks.
Anon rolls his eyes as he sets his sandwich down. He closes his eyes and clasps his hands together.
“We all thank Celestia for the meal we are about to eat.” He says in a monotone voice. “Praise the sun.”
He opens his eyes and goes back to eating his sandwich. Luna gives him another glare but doesn’t say anything as she starts eating her meal. Celestia just feels confused about what she just heard. Is that some sort of prayer in her honor? She decides it’s probably best to ignore whatever just happened and enjoy her meal.
“Goodnight, sister.” Celestia says with a nuzzle to Luna.
“Goodnight, sister.” Luna replies as well. She looks over her shoulder to Anon. “Well?”
He lets out a sigh. “Goodnight, Celestia.”
Celestia puts on her best fake smile as she gives him a nod.
“Goodnight to you as well, Anonymous.”
With that said, they all part ways. Anon riding on Luna’s back as they quickly get as far away from Celestia’s room as possible. Celestia can’t wait to see her bed. She is so tired from the day's events. She walks up to her door as the two guards remain as still as statues. She gives them a tired nod, using her magic to open the door wide as she walks inside her room.
Then in an instant, everything becomes cold and wet. A bucket lands on her head as a good amount of liquid drenches half of her body. She doesn’t move as the shock sets in. Her mind is a total blank, until a single thought pops into her head. The thought of why her sister and Anon left the pool. She feels her teeth clench again as she uses her magic to toss the bucket against her wall.
“Anonymous!” She shouts into the dead of night.
A faint sound of dual laughter can be heard resonating through the night sky.
