Another Displaced Human Dilemma

by The Grey Pegasus

[9] [S4E07]-Bats!

Another Displaced Human Dilemma
By: A Great Pegasus

< 9 >

Bat!

Page flip.

A gasp. "Oh my, Hinny of the Hills opens next week!"

It was a nice and simple morning in Lucky Clover's household. Around a table sat the homeowner, his marefriend, and a tenant. Between us three ponies was breakfast and light conversation.

I looked up at Roseluck, who was reading through a newspaper. "What's Hinny of the Hills?"

She looked up from her newspaper with a smile. "Only one of the most anticipated Bridleway musicals for months!"

Oh. A Broadway musical. Guess more of Manhattan found itself here. "Do you have plans to go?"

Roseluck's expression turned disappointed. "I wish. The show's been sold out for months." She turned to Lucky, leaning in and almost pouting. "Maybe you could manage to get some tickets?"

Lucky stared for a moment, before giving Roseluck a defeated look. "Oh, fine... You know I don't really like using—abusing—my luck like that..." Then he softly smiled, nuzzling Roseluck's muzzle. "Only for you..."

"You can do that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Get tickets to a sold-out show this big?"

Lucky looked unhappy at the thought. "I can 'do' it, yeah. It's not exactly 'doing' though as much as 'getting lucky about it'. Trust me, to be as lucky as I am can get annoying at times. 'Luck' isn't a talent, it's just... a thing that is. And it being what my cutie mark denotes, it's a thing that's a part of me."

My expression turned pensive. "But that implies you're never down on your luck?"

"You'd think it would be great and all, but it's a fickle thing that sometimes gets out of hoof without me having any control over it, and after a while, those instances get annoying. And sometimes even completely bars me from certain things." Lucky saw my confused look. "Just trust me on this."

I took in what he said. "I guess that means you avoid casinos and a lot of competitions."

Lucky nodded. "Some casinos know me and won't even let me near the place, let alone enter. I can pass luck to other ponies too—so it just wouldn't be good business for them if I stuck around for any length of time. Certain competitions deem it an unfair advantage. Can you see why having 'luck' as my thing has its downs now?"

I nodded. "I guess so." I took a breath. "Well, lucky me I guess. I always seem to be down on my luck, so maybe living with you will help my situation some."

Lucky lightly chuckled. "I'll try not to pass on too much to you."

Then I realized something. "You know, despite you living here in Ponyville, the town hasn't seem to have had much luck concerning the various happenings surrounding Twilight Sparkle and her group."

Roseluck laughed. "If only he could do something about all of it, our lives would be that much more peaceful."

Lucky shook his head, smiling. "That mare. She must have some incredible lack of luck, since my presence doesn't seem to have done much. At the least though, I get off unaffected when something does go down."

"So your incredible luck is thwarted and rendered null by the presence of Twilight Sparkle," I concluded.

"Overwhelms it, yeah," Lucky answered. "Seriously, I respect the princess, but she's got a strange aura about her. The most I could do is save myself—and I guess anything else I'm near, by extension."

"Parasprites," Roseluck shuddered. "Oh, were we not prepared for what would follow the new pony in town..."

"Was the town quiet before Twilight moved in?" I asked.

"More so," Lucky replied. "Ponyville's always been a quirky little place, but at least it wasn't being threatened to be burned to the ground or anything every few weeks. Figuratively speaking." He turned away slightly and mumbled. "Most of the time."

Speaking of time, something small has always been quietly, very subtly bothering me for the time I've been here.

I never really knew the exact time.

Not because their timekeeping methods were unreliable or anything, or that the sun could potentially be up to some weird antics due to it being affected by magic, but simply because I never had anything to keep track of the time with me.

I know I said I missed my smartphone for the camera—among its countless useful other features—but now I just really missed my watch. My sweet, solar-powered, radio-controlled, analog-digital watch.

<Now you're just bragging.>

Well we always did.

<It is a sweet watch. The newer one seems to be scratched more easily though...>

I'm sure Equestria has some good scratch-resistant materials or enchantments.

"Hey," I spoke up. "Is there a place in town where I could get a good watch?"

Roseluck beamed. "I know just the pony! In fact, you met him a little bit last week. Time Turner is the pony in town for all things relating to time."

Oh, right. How obvious. And Roseluck's been right in front of me all this time, too.

"How much do you think it'll cost me?" I asked.

"Oh, you'll have to find out yourself," Roseluck said. "He makes quality timepieces, but I'm not sure I've yet understood how he prices his work..." She waved a hoof. "Just tell him I sent you. He might work something out."

<<+>>

I opened the door to the very nondescript establishment where Roseluck said I would find Time Turner's place. It was a curious place that had all sorts of timekeeping pieces on display, from various small desk clocks, to ornate grandfather clocks. All ticking away at a somewhat-chilling synchronous harmony.

"Hello?!" I called out. I made my way to the counter near the back of the store. There was a bell.

I gave it a tap, and it, in return, gave a 'ding'. "Hello?!"

Waiting... waiting...

<I assume the sign said 'open' out front?>

Well you wrote me being able to enter, so obviously. And it's not that early in the morning, but Twilight wasn't home for some reason, so I just moved finding Time Turner up my schedule. Twilight had a session planned today, but I guess something came up, so I headed here instead.

But yes, there was an 'open' sign out front.

<Just asking... maybe it was just unlocked or something.>

You know, I thought you weren't supposed to talk this much unless I opened the fourth wall window first.

<I guess I forgot what the proper balance was?>

I think you're overcompensating.

Suddenly, the door behind the counter opened, revealing the brown earth pony himself, in his collar-and-tie wearing glory. Our eyes met.

"You!" Time simply exclaimed.

"... Yes, me?" I answered, a little unsure. Of, well, what might happen next.

He squinted his eyes a bit. "... What brings you here?"

"I'm looking for a new watch, so Roseluck sent me here."

Time perked up. "Ah, of course! Of course she would, that girl." Then he paused. "Why are you looking for a new watch."

I looked at him questioningly. "... Why? I just... want a new watch to tell the time."

He moved towards me and leaned over the counter to take a good look at me. "You said something when we first met that I wouldn't expect just anyone to just know."

I pursed my lips. "And that would be..."

From behind his tie, he pulled out a very familiar, funky-looking, pen-like implement. He waved it around a little.

"So you are him."

The Doctor chuckled, having elicited the reaction he was looking for. He put the sonic screwdriver back in his tie; guess he found it more functional than random hammerspace. "Now—who are you, exactly?"

I put my hooves up in defense. "Wait, wait, first—I gotta ask. Have you always been here, or were you initially in a... uh, human form?"

He turned his head inquisitively. "So you know more than it seems."

I waved my hooves. "No, no, I'm taking guesses here."

"But you knew."

I sighed, putting a hoof to the bridge of my muzzle. "Look, I'm just a nobody. I just got randomly flung into this universe from I can't even remember when in my own timeline, and I'm just trying to make it through."

Wait—can he sense... the fic? Can he discover things about the true, true reality?

<Nope. He's sealed into the primary layer of reality there. Honestly, he's just a fun character to have around.>

He seems... nice. And eccentric maybe. Expected, but still.

<I can tell you that you won't be crossing paths with him often.>

Fine by me.

The Doctor seemed to have finished considering my answer. "I see... So what do you remember from before you arrived here?"

I shrugged. "Certain chunks of my past. Then it gets fuzzy in certain places. It's like past a certain point, my actual history is ambiguous." I shook my head. "I just came here for a watch. I don't think there's any huge issue with my presence here."

He nodded. "Still—so curious! Flung from a different universe you say... I suppose there are things even us Time Lords never discovered. Beyond what we could find... I do wonder if these ponies have the capability to unlock newer secrets..."

"I mean, you were a fictional thing from where I came from, so..."

"Fictional!" he exclaimed. "We're pulled from two completely different universes it seems... Highly curious!"

"Hey," I said. "How many regenerations have you had, anyways?"

The Doctor looked at me. "Ten? Eleven? Ten and a half?" He looked at his own body. "Depends how you consider this, I suppose—and any effects of the possible inter-dimensional travel. I'm not sure..."

"Do you still have the TARDIS?"

"It's in the back. Poor thing still struggles to make sense of up and down, forward and backward in this place with somewhat different laws of time and space though. Even after how long we've been here. She's getting there though. Maybe one day!"

"... Is it still a blue box of strange exterior and interior proportions?"

He threw up a hoof in glee. "That it is, that it is." He grinned at me. "I suppose whatever possibly somewhat sentient thing grabbed us through the dimensions decided some things were worth keeping."

"One last thing—what the heck do I call you? By your name here, or... The... you know."

"Either works, honestly. I've warmed up to my name here. And... I quite like the change of pace that comes with living as a part of here. It's much more quiet and simple. Less... strange things that lead to horrible events."

Then Time Turner turned the topic back to me.

"Now—you! Despite this world being much, much less busier than the world from which you came, you have decided to get a new watch so you can continue to obsess over time and schedules! I would recommend just going with the flow and relaxing, but you are the customer. And I wouldn't want to explain to Rose why you left empty-handed."

I raised an eyebrow.

"It's been so long since I've been able to use some anatomy-relative terms! A small indulgence, just this once." He winked at me. "So! Former nobody, everyday busy person of Earth—anything specific you're looking for in a watch?"

I shrugged. "Well what interesting things do you have?"

He pointed at me with a hoof. "Name anything and I'm sure there's something we can get."

"Well I used to wear a quite functional Casio that was solar-powered, radio-controlled, analog-digital. And, as per many watches of the time, multi-function."

Time Turner slapped his forelegs on the countertop. "You're now in a magical land with magic ponies, and that's it?! Imagination!"

"I have plenty of imagination!" I protested. "I just think those would be some good starting points..."

"Well! Unlimited power sources are a quite easy thing to come by here. Crystal Empire exports plenty crystals of amazing varieties that, when combined with each other in various ways, lead to an infinity of possibilities! So power! That's a no-brainer.

"Now—an automatically updating watch! You certainly had your taste in your period's modern technology. With the right combination of crystals sensitive to the position to the sun and add in some corrective logic to account for any strange sun-happenings, I can make a watch that'll be sure to be the correct time wherever you go.

"And as for actually reading the watch. You want classic clock hands mixed with an interesting secondary interface. And for that, I'm sure we can figure something out with magic projections."

It was already tickling the gadget geek within me. Still, there was the big question. "How much will it cost?"

Time waved a hoof. "Ah, for someone special like you? Dimensionally displaced, knows who I am, and is a friend of Rose? Consider it my pleasure. Besides, every pony that comes in here always wants some boring, plain timekeeping piece. Yours will actually be interesting to work on!"

"Thanks," I smiled. If my wallet could express emotions, it would be too. "But until then, can I maybe just have a normal, run-of-the-mill watch of some sort? My time-of-day estimating skills are pretty good, but I'm conditioned to obsess about time to the minute."

"Oh, humans, such fascinating, petty creatures," the Doctor remarked. He pulled out a simple wristwatch from behind the glass under counter. "Take it. It's a simple little mechanical piece that's there to fill the display. Nothing much to it, little old-fashioned, self-winding—somewhat charming, perhaps, if you're into these kinds of things. Won't charge you any bits for it either. I'll just have Rose tell you when to come back."

I nodded my thanks. "Until next time, Doctor."

<<+>>

Well, there was a small sense of familiarity from finally having a watch around my right wrist once again. You said I won't cross path's with the Doctor often?

<I mean, I'm not exactly enforcing that.>

I don't see myself having plans involving him in the future.

<You stay out of his path, and he'll stay out of yours.>

Great. He's certainly an interesting one, but... a little eccentric maybe, for my taste. I don't need a Time Lord to add to the weirdness that is my already more-adventurous life.

Anyways, maybe Twilight's home now. We all know how she doesn't like plans getting sidetracked, so I guess I should check in with her as soon as possible.

<<+>>

I opened the door of the library treehouse.

"... But in order for the spell to work, I need the bats' full and complete attention."

Huh. That was Twilight.

"Oh no..." That was Fluttershy.

I shut the door behind me, catching their attention. "Uh... Guess you're all busy with something?"

Oh wait, there's a show camera.

... What'd I miss?

<About a third of an episode, and a song. Have some exposition.>

"I got vampire fruit bats ruinin' my harvest!" Applejack exclaimed.

"Oh," I said. "Sounds bad."

"It's terrible!" Rainbow said. "All the cider..."

I thought about making a quip about a drinking problem, but decided against it.

"Fluttershy, I need you to do your Stare on the bats," Twilight said, getting back to the topic, before I accidentally interrupted.

Fluttershy looked away. "Oh, gosh, I don't know."

Rainbow went up to her, irritated. "What's the problem? You've used the Stare plenty of times before!"

"Yes, but it's not something I take lightly," Fluttershy explained. "I've made a vow not to use it except in dire circumstances."

"This circumstance is plenty dire to me!" Applejack noted.

"Me too!" Rainbow added, more dramatically this time. "Think of the cider! Won't somepony please think of the cider?!"

"Dash," I said, looking up at the ceiling, "I think you should get yourself checked for a drinking problem." Well, there it goes. Sometimes my brain just doesn't catch things before they come out.

"I don't!" she protested from her position on the ground.

"I'm sorry," Fluttershy continued, again bringing everyone back on topic. "I just don't like the idea of taking away the thing that really makes the vampire fruit bats..." she took a breath, "vampire fruit bats! It just feels wrong!"

Twilight countered. "But if we don't do this, there won't be any apples left for anypony here in Ponyville. Doesn't that feel wrong, too?"

Applejack gave the ultimatum. "So what's it gonna be, Fluttershy? Will you do your Stare on the bats or not?"

After a stare-down in which Fluttershy wasn't going to win, she conceded. "Um... Um... Okay, I'll do it."

<<+>>

Due to unforeseen circumstances butting into Twilight's schedule, but Twilight not wanting to have to reschedule, she decided to drag me along to their rounding up of the vampire fruit bats.

I pitched in a little, helping carry some baskets of apple bait around with Applejack.

"So why not just pesticides?" I asked. I mean, the answer was probably pretty obvious, but I still wanted to hear it.

Applejack answered pretty simply. "I ain't puttin' no chemicals in my apples. Proud to be fresh, organic, and healthy... plus all the legal stuff... and taxes... and costs."

"Makes sense..."

As I walked to the tree they were setting up, I looked around the orchard to see the other mares doing their part. Of some interest was Rarity, who was wearing a hazmat suit she got from somewhere.

Equestria. Your mix-and-mash technology will always elude me.

<And that's why I have multiple universe-types for various different fics.>

So which one am I in?

<I think you're still in the standard canon one.>

Which is?...

<Uh... in flex.>

"Good work, everypony!" Applejack announced. "I think we got 'em all!" She turned to Fluttershy. "Now all we need is for you do to your Stare."

"Oh, um, are you sure I really need—"

Everyone returned a glare of some sort.

"Okay..." Fluttershy flew up to her position. "I really, really, really hate to do this to you..." she said to the bats. "I just hope you can forgive me..."

Then Fluttershy Stared.

Whoa. I think I could feel some eery energy radiating from her.

The ordeal was quickly over, once Twilight had cast the spell she had prepared. "You can stop staring, Fluttershy."

"Did it work?" Spike asked, because I guess he needed some dialogue while he was present.

"Only one way to find out for sure," Applejack replied.

Rainbow went up to the tree and attempted to offer an apple. The bats rejected it. "Ye-he-heah, whoo!"

Everyone was pleased. Well, except Fluttershy, I guess. Spike had one more line of dialogue in there too.

<<+>>

"So early?" I asked Twilight.

"Well it would be a good idea to confirm that we actually did solve Applejack's pest issue," Twilight answered. "We all agreed to check in this morning, when she starts her apple bucking." She looked at me somewhat questioningly. "I mean, that's why you're also here, right? She did pretty much invite you too."

"I guess..."

So, it was the next day, and instead of making up yesterday's pretty much missed question-interview session, she was dragging me along on a mini-field trip.

But really, I guess that's just an excuse to tag along with the episode some more.

<Naturally.>

Well you don't need to admit it.

We arrived at Sweet Apple Acres after some walking, and were met with a disappointing find.

"The spell didn't work!" Twilight noted out loud.

"You're darn tootin' the spell didn't work!" Applejack exclaimed. "I think we're gonna have to take more extreme measures!"

"I hear ya, Applejack!" Rainbow agreed. "C'mon, everypony! Let's track down those vampire bats!"

Rainbow went off as she usually does, only to quickly discover that the bats were not the culprits.

"... I don't think these bats are the ones that sucked my apples dry," Applejack said.

Rarity inspected an apple in her telekinetic grasp. "But if the vampire bats aren't eating your apples..."

"Who is?" Twilight finished the question. "Fluttershy, you're our animal expert. Do you know of any other creature that might be capable of this?"

Fluttershy shook her head. "I'm sorry. I don't."

"Well, there's only one way to find out," Twilight declared. "We'll have to catch whoever it is in the act."

"And how do you propose we do that?" Rarity asked.

"A stakeout...!"

I looked at them flatly. "... Are you freakin' kidding me?"

Video cameras. Magic or electronic. This place needs them.

<Well, by physically being there, you can take immediate action.>

I guess so.

<Plus, it's good practice for staying up late at night talking with Twilight.>

... Wait, what?

<Before you do it in a much more... precarious environment.>

Wait what. Wait, wait, wait, this isn't fair! What are you even alluding—

<<+>>

Rainbow, naturally flying at head-height, decided to make some fun commentary. "The witching hour..."

Somewhere in the night, an owl hooted. Yes, it was night already. The day was uneventful.

Boy oh boy, we're on a night patrol. Scouring the fields for some unknown creature. All for some apples.

"Maybe we should just call this off..." Fluttershy said warily, looking around. "Not sure about the rest of you guys... but I'm really hungry..."

"You knew we'd be here, Fluttershy," I said. "Didn't you grab dinner or something beforehoof?"

She didn't answer. I guess not?

"Oh, Fluttershy, it'll be okay," Rarity said. "Don't forget, darling, we're all in this together."

"That's right," Twilight agreed. "Nopony leaves this orchard until we've solved this mystery. Agreed?"

Everyone was in agreement.

"Does everypony have their pony signals?" Applejack asked.

Twilight and Rarity demonstrated by using their magic as bright spotlights. And Pinkie apparently had a WWII-era anti-aircraft searchlight packed into a small flashlight.

Ow!

"Portable sun!" Pinkie exclaimed to me, after blinding me for a moment with, well, the 'portable sun' she was holding... in her mane.

Yeah, okay.

"Now remember, Pinkie Pie, only use the signal if you see somethin' suspicious," Applejack said.

"I got it," Pinkie replied. "Something suspicious..." She found Fluttershy off by her own in a corner. "Whatcha doin'?!"

After that brief bit, we all headed into the orchard.

Applejack recited the plan. "Alright, now everypony split up. We'll each patrol our own row of the orchard. Whoever or whatever's destroyin' my apples has gotta be here somewhere."

With that, we split up.

You know, I don't care what universe it is, night will always be spooky to some degree. Still, despite that, I walked my patrol steadily, alert and ready for what might come.

Kid show logic... kid show logic... I'll be fine.

"...Fluttershy?" That was Pinkie. "Yoo-hoo! Fluttershy!"

We all met up where Pinkie found something. She was up in a tree hanging upside down, facing, well...

Rarity got out a descriptive title for what we found first. "That's not Fluttershy... That's Flutterbat!"

"We've gotta get her down from there!" Twilight said.

"Uh... Fluttershy," Rarity spoke, "sweetness, please come down, and... do stop being a vampire bat."

The thing that was probably somewhat Fluttershy in some form just responded with a hiss and mean looks.

Rainbow went up to take a try. "Fluttershy! It's me, Rainbow Dash! Why don't you cut the bat act and come on down?!"

Flutterbat reacted by knocking Rainbow away.

"Whoa!" Rainbow was surprised. "Maybe we should just let her come down when she's ready..."

Fluttershy did come down, but not as intended. It was more of a menacing flyby.

"Flutterbat on the loose!" Pinkie yelled! "Run for your lives!"

"Pinkie Pie, calm down!" Twilight said. "See? She's back on her... branch."

"She's just biding her time!" Pinkie said fearfully. "Waiting for the right moment to pounce!"

"Pinkie Pie, bats don't eat ponies," Applejack said. "Not even vampire bats."

"But maybe vampire ponies eat other ponies! I'm not taking any chances!" Pinkie started boring a hole into the ground... somehow.

I shrugged. "You'd think she'd have struck already then, if that were the case."

"Biding her time!" Pinkie's voice came muffled from her small tunnel.

"Besides, she's not even sparkly or anything, so I don't think it's the kind of vampire we have to worry about."

"What about me?" Twilight asked.

Oh, right. Twilight Sparkle. Lulz.

"How did this happen?" Rarity asked. "That's what I don't understand."

"I think this was actually our fault," Twilight answered.

"Our fault?" Rainbow said, incredulous.

"And how'd you figure that?" Applejack added.

Twilight projected an 80's style neon CGI board to explain.

Wait, she can do holoprojections like that? Neat. I'll have to bring it up with her later...

"Okay, so this is me, these are the bats, and this is Fluttershy doing her Stare. The spell was supposed to go right onto the bats like this, but somehow the spell must have backfired. It took the vampire fruit bats' desire to be vampire fruit bats and transferred that desire into Fluttershy."

Everyone paused to take it in.

"Totally makes sense," I commented sarcastically. Seriously, that's a contender for flimsiest justification of a plot, right next to tons of stuff from this story!

<Oh shush.>

"C'mon! We'll reverse the spell and make it right!"

Pinkie popped up from out of the ground. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's save Fluttershy before that thing eats us all!"

"Hit the deck!" Rainbow exclaimed.

We all did so, as Flutterbat did another menacing flyby.

"Follow that bat!" Pinkie pointed.

Our pursuit didn't last very long, as our target was quite elusive.

"I can't believe we lost her!" Rarity exclaimed.

"Oh, Fluttershy, where are you?" Twilight called out.

She received her answer, and Flutterbat did another flyby.

On closer inspection, however, it was actually in a move to grab a fresh apple and suck the juices out of it.

"If she keeps this up, your whole crop will be gone in no time!" Rainbow concluded.

"That's the least of my worries," Applejack said. "I just want my friend back."

"We'll never get her back unless we corner her and catch her so I can reverse the spell!" Twilight said.

And so the hunt continued, until we found Fluttershy again.

"There she is!" Twilight whispered.

We were quickly noticed, and our target flew off again.

"Oh, this is no use," Twilight said. "I think the only way we're gonna catch her is if we find a way to lure her closer to us."

I suppose so. Or maybe try catching her? Isn't Rainbow fast enough?

Applejack brought up another concern. "But even if we can lure her to us, how're we gonna get her to stay still long enough for you to do your reverse spell?"

"Aww, if only we had Fluttershy to do her Stare on the Flutterbat," Pinkie said.

Oh wait, I've seen this movie before. Or at least one of them. I remember it involving gargoyles or something.

Twilight gasped, as she realized what they needed to do. "That's it!"

"Yeah," I said. "Ya'll need to get a mirror."

I started walking away.

"Where are you off to?" Twilight asked.

"To try harder."

"But—"

Can't hear you from my wingwash, Twilight.

<<+>>

Just track the odd sounds... just track the odd sounds.

I heard some relatively large wings flying around. After rounding a tree, I found my objective, still feeding on fresh apples.

I guess Flutterbat really had her bat senses tuned up, because she turned her head in my direction. Like before, the reaction was to lunge menacingly and flyby.

Or try to. I grabbed her tail in my teeth as she tried to pass by.

"No you don't!"

The sudden pull of my weight dragged her down into the ground, causing both of us to tumble. She landed a short distance away from me, and gave me a mean look.

"Alright Fluttershy. Unlike others, I'm not scared to do mean things to you. Besides—it's for the good of everyone—including you. No hard feelings here, just doing a job that needs to be done."

She hissed back at me, baring those pointed teeth.

"That's how you want to play, eh? Let's see if you still remember how to be angry." I grabbed two intact apples within my reach, and tossed them up in preparation.

"Want apples? Let's play."

I threw the first one in the air, and Flutterbat reactively went to grab it to feed. Upon grabbing it, she landed back on the ground, already in the process of sucking it empty.

I threw the second one, very deliberately aimed. This one hit her on the head, catching her attention a lot more. It bounced off her head, and entranced by the prospect of another apple to feed on, she lunged for it before it hit the ground.

And that's when I met her lunge, and tackled her down.

Flutterbat struggled like the half-wild animal she currently was, but I managed to get a good hold on her tail.

"Sorry about the slight lewdness here, Flutters!" I yelled through clenched teeth. I tried to keep myself grounded, while she tried to fly away. "This the first time you had a stallion this close to your ass?"

She hissed at me.

"Maybe not?" I started dragging her to where I expected the others to be waiting.

All the while, she continued to resist, flapping harder. "No! You! Don't! Erh! Erh!" I had to counter-flap, keeping us planted on the ground and headed where I intended to go.

Flutterbat continued to struggle against me, hissing intently.

"Arrrgh!"

Now she was scratching. Dammit, Flutters, you need to fuck off. For your own good.

"By god! I'm trying! My best! To not! Have to! Hit you! Over! The head!"

"Wait, what's that?!" Well that was Rainbow. Only a little bit further.

I struggled to stumble out into a clearing where the others had set up a trap with a few mirrors.

Fluttershy hissed loudly as she smelled the strong aroma of Applejack's large, prize apple. I felt her tail yank against my teeth as she jumped off of me towards the new smell, but I kept my jaw clamped hard.

"Help, maybe?" I asked, mumbling.

Twilight and Rarity snapped out of their slight trance and got into action. Rarity stunned Fluttershy in place with a mirror to reflect the Stare, allowing me to release her tail and move my jaw around. Ow. I miss having hands.

Twilight cast the spell on Fluttershy, transforming her back.

"Oh... where am I?" Fluttershy said, now back to her normal self.

Everyone cheered at having the timid pegasus back.

"Thank goodness you're okay!" Applejack exclaimed.

Fluttershy was still confused. "But... what happened to me?"

"You turned into a vampire pony!" Pinkie explained.

Fluttershy gasped. "I tried to eat ponies?!"

"Of course not!"

"So I wasn't a vampire?"

"Yes!"

... Yes?

"Yes!"

<Dammit, Pinkie.>

"Wait, but I—?" Fluttershy shook her head. "Yes I was, or yes I wasn't?"

"Yes, you were!"

"But I didn't try and eat ponies?"

"Yes!"

"No!" I exclaimed.

"Eh?!" Fluttershy was baffled. "I'm confused..."

"Me too..." Rarity said. "And I was there!" She turned to me. "You didn't hurt her, did you?"

"Just a small scuffle to grab her," I answered. "After bonking her in the head with an apple I threw. Really, more of the harm done was her trying to get away from me..." I winced from the scratches she gave me. Hope they aren't too deep...

"Oh!" Fluttershy exclaimed. "I'm so sorry! I-I didn't—"

I waved a hoof. "It's fine..."

Twilight scrunched her face. "Well, we had a plan..."

"Smart plan, I'd guess," I said. "Versus immediate action." I felt the cuts Fluttershy gave me with a hoof. "I'm sure it was a good plan that would've worked too."

Applejack spoke up. "Ya'll are tellin' me I didn't need to cut open my prize apple after all?..."

"Guess so?..."

"Aw..."

<<+>>

Fluttershy had us over later that morning, after we'd built the bats a sanctuary. There was also a thing about seeds being recycled by the bats or something that would grow better trees later.

Spike was finishing writing into their journal. "Okay, got the part about the spell, Fluttershy turning into a bat, building a sanctuary..."

"Be sure to put in there that I came to see that my short-term solution was a little short-sighted."

"Which one of 'em?" I asked.

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Okay, to be fair, we had no idea you'd actually manage to grab Fluttershy, Stardust."

"I mean, hey, I thought Rainbow Dash was fast enough, but apparently she's not fast enough."

"Hey!" Rainbow exclaimed.

I chuckled.

Fluttershy added onto the journal entry. "And that you shouldn't let anypony pressure you into doing something that you don't think is right. Sometimes you have to tell even your closest friends 'no'."

... Wait, what? That is the oddest lesson ever. That's like, the 'don't do drugs or smoke or underage alcohol' lesson.

"But Dashie doesn't pressure others into joining in with her drinking problem!" Pinkie exclaimed. "So we couldn't make that show the lesson!"

<Dammit, Pinkie.>

"Pinkie!" Rainbow exclaimed. "Not you too!"

Applejack laughed along. "Now, how about we celebrate our stronger than ever friendship with a nice, ripe, juicy apple?"

Pinkie grabbed the offered apple. "Stand back! I vant to suck its juuuice!"

Everybody laughs ending.

Hit the outro drum roll.

<<+>>

I came back home after a fairly easy day. Lucky's house was still pretty quiet. "Lucky! You home?!"

As walked through the entrance hallway, he appeared in the living room to my side. "Stardust! So how was your day?"

"Fine," I replied. "You?"

Lucky motioned to an envelope on his table. He leaned back and sighed in what I think was content, but maybe also a slight hint of exasperation. "Well, like Roseluck said. Almost anything's possible when it comes to me."

I sat down next to him on the sofa. "What is it?"

"Tickets to Hinny of the Hills, sold out for months."

I was taken aback in surprise, and my expression when I looked at him showed it. "How?"

"I was up in Canterlot early this morning, and... well, let's say, after a short series of contrived events, a pony I managed to do a favor for wanted to repay the debt." Lucky waved a hoof at the envelope at the table. "Was a pretty well-to-do guy. Said he had tickets for the musical and gave them to me in return."

I just nodded, accepting the story. "That's nuts."

"Yeah... well, anything for Rose, I guess. There's four in there, so maybe she can bring her friends Daisy and Lily along. Those three are so close."

"They like musicals?"

Lucky chuckled. "You should see how dramatic those three can get sometimes. They love theater."

"Sounds like it'll be a great time."

"If I can spread good luck and good will, that's enough for me."

Author's Note:

Heeyo! Talk about a fast production time on this one.

<Eh... needs to be faster.>

It's an improvement.

<I'm back into the groove. But these chapters I write are relatively lengthy...>

Going off on an episode-independent adventure tends to make for long chapters. Say, you keep alluding to various fics and stuff...

<Plans! Plans, plans, plans. The next chapter is a nice big one too, in terms of plans for other stories.>

Say no more. What about this chapter though? We should probably talk about.

<Okay. So yeah! The Doctor! I made him canon. And that's about it. He's like a fun easter egg. An addition that can be interacted with with relative ease, due to a whole set of contrived coincidences falling together. From the very original plan to stay with Lucky, to a very interesting shipfic that I decided to consider canon, and of course the whole Doctor-Rose interplay.>

About the only thing not on our side is time and playing catch-up.

<At an 'optimistic', full-insanity scenario of one episode per chapter, one chapter per day, that's puts us in Season 7 by... July.>

Wew. Let's see it then?

<Ignoring the part where I'd like to also write some other stuff of course, but yeah. Let's see what I can do.>

Comments

[Heidao]

*Reads description*
An aware self-insert, interesting

[Mix-up]

great to see an other chapter after so soon.

[totallynotabrony]

Hmm, that was a little active and out of character for Stardust. Is this the beginning of increasing shenanigans? I myself noticed stuff like this writing A Dream.

The OC self-insert personality creep-
cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/68197749/abe-simpson-pointing-it-will-happen-to-you.jpg

[The Grey Pegasus]

8107674
He was already pretty active in *Daring Don't*.

And not to worry, the creep will obviously be addressed.

It also probably doesn't help that these chapters were written over 3 years in real-time, during my age where my own personality evolves.