• Published 26th May 2014
  • 74,241 Views, 2,897 Comments

How many friends have you made today?! - Sarcastic Brony



Anon likes to keep to himself, but Celestia thinks he should make friends.

  • ...
247
 2,897
 74,241

You're gonna carry that friendship

Anon opens the door to his home and stands aside so everyone can walk inside. Before Luna can pass by him, Anon holds out one finger to stop her.

“Can you show the others to the kitchen? I have something I need to handle.”

Luna doesn’t think twice about it as she smiles and gives him a nod.

“Alright, everypony, let us join together for a relaxing cup of tea.”

Shining Armor and Spitfire follow Luna without question. Celestia tries to follow after them, but feels something press against her chest. She looks down and finds Anon pressing the back of his hand to her chest. She looks up to him confused but finds a dead expression on his face.

“Outside,” he speaks calmly as he drops his hand..

Celestia doesn’t know what is going on, but it must be important. Anon waits for Celestia to walk past him so he can get a bit of privacy. He closes the door and lightly rests his head against it. A deep sigh leaving him just before her turns around to face her.

“Alright, I’m just going to come out and say it. Are you crazy?” he asks never letting his emotions out of range.

Celestia feels her brow raise. “What brought this question about?”

Anon waves his hand in the air. “Oh, you know, that entire thing with Twilight.” He rubs his chin in thought. “I could’ve sworn we agreed that we would just do the ring thing!” He shouts the last part.

Anon’s sudden spike of anger manages to throw Celestia slightly off. Nonetheless, she understands why he is upset.

“Anon, I believe that what I did is for the best. Twilight needs to be trained in many things I’ve neglected.” She walks up to Anon and rests a hoof on his shoulder. “I know this may seem hard to accept, but Twilight is a good pony deep down. She just has a hard time controlling herself sometimes.”

Anon snorts at that. “You may believe that, but I don't. The side I saw is the real side of her. I don’t expect her to change. Nobody changes. That’s a fact about humanity.”

Celestia feels a small grin cross her lips as she removes her hoof, leans forward and nuzzles Anon gently.

“We are not human,” she whispers to him. She moves closer so she can envelop him in her wings. “I’m not asking you to trust Twilight. Nor am I asking you to be friends with her. I’m asking you to keep an open mind. To trust in me, as I trust in you.”

Anon feels his head hurt and his heart ache. He lets out a tired sigh as he rests his head on Celestia’s shoulder.

“Dammit, Tia.” He pauses for a second. “I’ll trust you.”

Celestia feels her smile grow. “Twilight will not be staying at the castle. Chances are she will stay with her family for awhile. She’ll just be stopping by for training. I will make sure that the guards are watching her when she’s around. That way there will be no chance for you to come to harm.”

Celestia feels Anon slowly pushing away, so she lets him go. He looks up at her as she smiles down at him. He hates how much he isn’t doubting her right now. Before, he would be questioning everything she is saying. Now, well, Celestia has proven more than enough that what she says is true. He rubs the back of his neck.

“Let’s just have that cup of tea,” he says.

Celestia gives him a nod as he leads her back inside. She knows he didn’t directly ask, but her heart is soaring at the thought of having Anon staying at the castle. She will need to make arrangements to assure that one of the rooms is made to be his. Then again, why even need a room? Perhaps he wouldn’t mind sharing with her? Oh, she feels as giddy as a school filly right now. Those thoughts will have to wait, though. It’s about time they relaxed.


Anon comes walking into the kitchen behind Celestia. His mind is filled with thoughts of what needs to be done. He honestly doesn’t have much he’d keep from this place. He’ll probably just pack a bag or two of clothing. He always lead a simple life, so he didn’t have much that he would call sentimental. As he looks around, he notices that Luna actually set the table.

“Thank you, Luna,” Anon says as she takes a seat next to her.

She smiles brightly at him. “It was no problem.”

Anon, however, notices that there is a single thing missing from the table. A certain sweet that Celestia usually partakes in during a time like this. He rises from his seat.

“One moment.”

He walks over to a cabinet and opens it wide. It’s empty. That’s odd. He walks to another and searches that one. Empty as well.

“Curiouser and curiouser.” he whispers to himself.

“Is everything alright?” Celestia asks.

Anon turns around to face the others.

“Nothing. Just thought I had another cake around here.” He turns around to continue his search.

“It’s alright, Anon. I think I can manage.” Celestia appreciates him thinking about her, but if there isn’t one here, then she’s fine.

“No, no. I know there is at least one around here somewhere.” He stops in thought for a minute. He snaps his fingers as a thought comes. “Fridge.”

He walks over to the fridge and opens it widely. Celestia finds her attention drawn to Anon. For some reason, she felt an intense spike of emotion coming from him. He’s just standing there hunched over as he looks inside the fridge. Celestia feels herself becoming worried as Anon slowly rises and closes the fridge. She can see how he is blankly looking at the door in thought.

“Anon, is everything alright?” she asks.

She can feel his emotions continuing to fluctuate wildly as he rubs the back of his neck.

“I got something I need to do,” he says as he looks at everyone with a neutral face. “I won’t take too long.”

“Are you sure that everything is ok?” Celestia presses.

He nods. “Yeah, I won’t take long.”

“Do you want company?” Luna asks.

“No,” he says quickly. He then clears his throat. “Again, I won’t take long.”

“Alright,” Luna accepts with hesitation.

Anon gives them all a small wave as he walks out of the kitchen and toward the front door. Celestia is now far more worried than before. Anon changed so suddenly. What could’ve done such a thing? She gets up and walks over to the fridge. She opens it with her magic and takes a look inside. What she finds is a cake, a rather plain one. However, there is writing on it.

Happy Birthday, Anon. I hope you’re having fun with the Princesses. Pinkie Pie.

“What did you find, sister?” Luna asks.

The others have kept quiet, but they too are curious as to everything that is happening. Celestia closes the fridge with a small smile as she looks over to them.

“Nothing that should concern us.” Celestia walks back to her seat. “Come, let’s talk about something while we wait.”

Luna, Shining Armor, and Spitfire share a confused glance at one another, but accept that nothing is the matter.

“Very well.” Luna gives a nod as she looks to Shining. “Tell us how your parents will take to the news of Twilight’s punishment.”

Celestia feels her head fall at that as she shakes her head slightly.

Luna, why must you be so blunt about things?

This is going to be very awkward.


Anon is a man on a mission, one destination in mind. He cares not of the ponies that are avoiding him as if he were the grim reaper himself. He doesn’t even care that most of them look like he has the power to explode their brains with his mind. That cake, that cake just rubbed him the wrong way. When he saw it, it reminded him of the only pony that cared about him back then.

He still feels weird admitting this, but he’s worried. Pinkie wasn’t looking so good on that stage and he just wants to go and check to see if she is alright. If he wasn’t so focused right now, he’d probably be shocked at what he’s doing. He spots Sugarcube Corner up ahead. He glances slightly over to the stage that is to his left. It looks like Applejack isn’t there anymore. Either she walked home or was carried to the hospital.

Doesn’t matter. They deserved what they got. Some more than others, but he does have a sense of satisfaction, as if the world was made right. Perhaps that’s just his vengeful side coming through. He swears that the more he hangs around the two sisters, the more he starts to feel. It’s odd to think of it in such a way.

He shakes his head. Focus. He doesn’t pause as he walks through the door to the shop, the bell ringing loudly. He looks around for anything pink. He finds it, but it’s not the pink he is looking for. Mrs. Cake is running the register right now. He has a job to do. He walks up to her as she just stares at him with an odd look. Not fear or anger, he doesn’t really know what to label it. Compassion?

“Is Pinkie here?” Anon asks.

Mrs. Cake nods. “She’s in her room. Poor thing didn’t look so good.”

“Do you mind?” Anon waves towards the stairs.

She shakes her head. “I don’t mind.”

Anon walks toward the stairs, but stops when he feels something grab his hand. He looks down to see Mrs. Cake grabbing his hand with her hoof. She quickly lets go of him.

“I heard about what happened in town,” she says. “I know I said this before, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am about what Carrot did.” She then looks up to him, a small blush building. “Y-You know, for the compliment.”

Anon will admit that she did apologize for what her husband did to him, but the rumors already spread like a wildfire. So it didn’t mean much to him then. Yet, now that he is feeling things. He appreciates her willingness to take credit for someone else's mess.

“You have no need to be sorry,” Anon says. “Wasn’t your fault and things are looking up.”

She gives him a nod. “Ok, I just wanted you to know.”

Anon returns her nod just before he ascends the stairs. He kinda feels good for acknowledging Mrs. Cake’s apology. Emotions are weird. He stands before Pinkie's room, a place he used to live. He places a few knocks on the door hoping to gain her attention.

“Go away,” he hears a heart-breaking voice speak out.

It hurts. Why does it hurt? He needs to do something. He raises his hand to knock once more, but this time, he’s going to do something he hasn’t done in ages.


Pinkie is laying in her bed. She hates the thoughts that are filling her head. It all seems so clear now that she thinks back on it. How Anon would avoid standing under clouds, even going so far as to never stepping foot outside during overcast.

How he would sometimes scream out in his sleep when it was a particular thunder filled night. The time he came back covered in scratches and bruises, telling her that he fell down some stairs and needed help getting to the hospital. The first night he came to stay with her, how he never spoke a single word and even flinched away from her whenever she touched him by accident.

She hurts so much inside. It feels like somepony is stepping on her heart. She feels her ears swivel towards the door as another round of knocks come. She feels her heart start to race as something particular comes to mind as the knock registers. Whoever is knocking is knocking in a pattern, a pattern she only taught one other creature.


Pinkie is smiling widely at Anon as the both of them stand near the door to her room.

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” she says with her usual enthusiasm.

“Why do we need a secret knock? I’m the only one who comes into your room,” Anon says in annoyance.

Pinkie takes a step toward him and notices how he takes a step back at the same time. She scolds herself on the inside at that. Anon already told her that he doesn’t like ponies getting close. She shakes her head and smiles at him.

“Because you never know when you’ll need to use it!” Pinkie says with her smile growing. “Maybe there will be a zombie pony outbreak. The knock will let me know you want to come in for safety and not eat my brains!” She giggles at that thought.

“So why teach me and not your other friends as well? Doesn’t that kinda defeat the purpose?”

Pinkie rubs her chin in thought. “Maybe, but I still think it could be used in an emergency. When I hear that knock, I’ll know it’s you and I’ll let you in!”

Anon pinches the bridge of his nose in irritation. “If I agree to this can we please go to sleep?” Pinkie nods her head vigorously. “Fine, let’s get this over with.”


She feels her eyes start to fill with tears as she curls up into a tighter ball.

“P-Please go away,” she speaks past her hoarse throat.

Anon hasn’t come this far to give up now. He tests the handle of the door and notices that it’s not even locked. He opens the door and walks inside, a dark lump of pink can be seen lying on the bed. He walks over to Pinkie who has her back turned away from him. He stops at the foot of her bed.

“What do you want?” Pinkie asks.

“Making sure you’re alright,” he answers.

Pinkie chuckles sadly to herself as she sits up, her back still facing Anon.

“I’m Pinkie Pie. Of course I’m always alright,” she says unconvincingly.

Anon can only stand there and look at Pinkie as she trembles slightly in place. This isn’t good. He’s seen that tremble before, a tremble he used to do on those particularly stormy nights. He lets out a silent prayer as he walks closer, takes a knee on her bed and wraps his arms around her. He feels Pinkie turn around in his hold and bury her face into his chest as she cries. She shakily wraps her hooves around him as she lets go of all her sadness.

“Don’t cry, Pinkie,” Anon says unsure how to help her.

“R-Rainbow Dash a-and the oth-hers have done horrible thing-gs to you,” she says in a full stutter.

“I know, Pinkie.” He doesn’t know what to do. “But they were punished. Things will get better.”

“You’re lying,” Pinkie says never removing her face from his chest.

“Maybe I am,” Anon admits. He then lets out a sigh. “You know I’m not good at situations like this, Pinkie. You were always the one that knew how to make ponies feel better.”

“I don’t want to make ponies smile anymore,” she says sadly.

“Why?”

“Why should I make them smile when they make others unhappy?”

Anon feels like he isn’t doing a very good job here. What the hell can he say to make Pinkie feel better? It’s the right thing to do in his mind, but he’s never been in a situation like this one before. Hmm, maybe the stuff with Celestia and Luna counts. So, perhaps being there is what she needs?

“I don’t know how to answer that Pinkie. All I can say is that you really helped me in my time of need. Maybe I never smiled, maybe I never seemed appreciative at the time, but what you did for me meant a lot. That’s the only reason I am here right now. I’m here because I’m worried. I worry about my friends.”

Pinkie looks up to Anon, a good amount of shock present. Her eyes then fill with tears as she returns her head to his chest and silently cries. She doesn't feel happy, but she doesn't feel sad either. She isn't sure what to feel. All she knows is that she got the one thing she wanted for so long, a friend in Anon. However, she got him in a very bittersweet way. This is why she is crying. It makes her think of so many things, mostly about her past and how tough it was for her on the rock farm. She understands Anon, probably better than most ponies ever would.

Anon just pets Pinkie lightly as she tries to regain her composure. He feels odd inside. Is this that happy feeling again? Yeah, he thinks it is. He’s happy that Pinkie isn't sad, which is something he would’ve never thought to happen to him. Pinkie soon stops crying. When Anon lets her go he notices she is giving him a small smile.

“You seem so different,” Pinkie says with a chuckle as she uses her hoof to clean her face.

“I feel different,” he admits. “I guess you can thank the princesses for that.”

“You three do seem a lot closer than what I last remembered.”

Anon shrugs. “What can I say? Some stuff happened, one thing lead to another, and we’re practically family now.”

Pinkie can feel a great sense of joy from hearing how Anon is speaking nonchalantly. She remembers a time he couldn’t even be in a room alone with anypony. Now he seems so different, yet he also hasn’t changed at the same time.

“Did the Princess throw you a nice birthday party?” Pinkie asks.

Anon feels himself freeze up slightly, his mind going back to the cake and the dream.

“N-Not really. Things kinda got complicated. I don’t even think I told them about it yet.” He notices Pinkie's shock, but quickly speaks up. “I found your cake. Why did you leave one anyways?”

“I don’t know. I just had this weird feeling that I should,” she answers.

Well, at least that crosses off the idea that Pinkie is conscious while dreaming. While it was very weird for him to find that cake, it seems she is none the wiser.

“Thank you. You know you don’t need to go through the trouble.”

Pinkie shakes her head. “It’s my pleasure. I do it for all my friends,” she says with a noticeably cheerful attitude.

“Friends, yeah.” Anon rubs the back of his neck in thought. “You want to come over to my place and have some tea?”

Pinkie smiles at him but shakes her head.

“I probably should help the Cakes.”

Anon gives a nod as he rises from her bed. He hesitates some as he looks at her. He might as well make it official. Pinkie looks up to Anon as she notices him hesitating while he stands in front of her bed. What happens next throws her off. She takes a moment to process Anon’s hand touching her chin as it slowly travels up her cheek. He pulls away as she looks at him in shock.

“Take care, Pinkie” Anon says just before he walks to the door.

“...You too,” Pinkie answers as Anon takes his leave.

Anon quickly walks out and closes the door behind him. That was rather emotional, something he is not used to. Still, he feels really good right now. Like he saved a puppy from a burning building or something. Maybe that’s not the right way to describe it. Basically, he feels like he did something right. He walks down the stairs feeling a bit cheerful himself.

He notices that Mrs. Cake is still behind the register. He gives her a wave as she waves back. He needs to get home. Best to not keep company waiting.


“I swear to you ponies that it is an experience you should not go without,” Luna says with a huge grin.

Shining Armor and Spitfire both blush slightly at the story their Princess is telling them. Shouldn’t this be private stuff?

“The way his fingers worked in the lather. How gentle he was. It was so cute. I would’ve sworn he thought I was made of glass,” Luna continues, not noticing the rather low comfort level of everypony in the room.

All Celestia can do is place a hoof over her face and shake her head. She knows all too well that most ponies don’t care to hear about the bathing habits of their rulers. They see it as a taboo of sorts. Yet Luna is speaking so freely about it. She cannot blame her, either. She will admit that Anon does have a way with how he was treating them. Celestia feels her ears swivel toward a noise.

“I’m back!”

She perks up at the sound of Anon. He soon comes into view and looks around at everyone. His brow raising as he notices the red faces of both Spitfire and Shining Armor.

“Did I miss something?” he asks.

“Yes, I was simpl-urh!”

Celestia shoves her hoof into her sister's mouth to stop her from saying anything further. It’s bad enough she told the others. She has a rather accurate idea of how Anon would react to this news if he were to find out about it.

“It was nothing. No need to worry yourself, Anon.” Celestia quickly speaks.

He narrows his eyes some at her. “Very well,” he says reluctantly.

He walks over to the table and takes his seat between the two sisters, Luna spitting out her sister's hoof as she glares at her in silence. Nevertheless, she perks up a bit as she serves Anon some tea. He gives her a thankful nod and looks down to his cup.

“Finally, a bit of time to relax.” He takes a sip and lets out a satisfied sigh. He looks up to Spitfire. “So, that stuff at the stadium,” he hesitates some. “Thanks, you know, for standing up for me. I wasn’t sure if I said it back then, so I’m making sure to say it now.”

Spitfire feels her embarrassment leave her. She gives him a nod.

“Of course. I actually don’t think you should be thanking me, to be honest. I just did what was right.”

Anon rocks his head back and forth. “Perhaps you thought it was wrong, so did I, but others would probably claim differently.”

Spitfire nods. “I agree that some probably would. Still, being mean to another creature for no real reason shouldn’t be right.”

Anon shrugs. “Still, thank you.”

A small smile grows on Spitfires muzzle. “Yeah, no problem.” She then feels something come to mind. “I never asked but, what do you do for a living?”

Anon smiles back. “I make candy.”

Spitfire perks up a bit as a stray thought comes to her. “Wait, are you the pony that’s been making all those weird things for the past year?”

Anon grins. “Pony? No… But I am the man who’s been making things.”

Spitfire feels herself become excited. She may be a lean and mean flying machine, but she does have a slight sweet tooth.

“I must say that I’m impressed. I had a few fans leaving me these treats after the show. All I heard were whispers of who made them.”

Anon chuckles at that. “Well, did you enjoy them?”

Spitfire nods. “I did.”

Anon feels a little proud that someone enjoyed what he’s made. Ponies around here usually never give thanks to him. Most of them just assumed it was Bonbon who made most of these things anyways. Anon looks over at Shining Armor as he faces the table. Well, he probably shouldn’t be rude.

“I’m sorry, we haven’t officially met,” Anon says loud enough to catch his attention. “I’m Anon. Who are you?” He extends his hand for a shake.

Shining Armor has no idea how he got dragged here. He just wanted to head on back to Canterlot and maybe spend some time with Cadance. He has a feeling that she will be rather heartbroken to hear what he had to do today. He ignores these thoughts. Might as well act as polite as this human is being. He places his hoof into his hand to shake.

“Hi, I’m Shining Armor, Captain of the royal guard. I’m Twilight’s brother for those of you who don't already know,” he answers as he rests his hoof into Anon’s hand.

Celestia notices Anon flinch slightly and his smile slip at that bit of news. He did not know that the very guard that punished Twilight was, in fact, her own brother. He looks over at Celestia with eyes of uncertainty. Anon knows it’s Shining’s job, but, he can’t help but feel as if maybe that was pushing it a bit too far. Well, it’s not like he can change what happened.

He just gives his hoof a few shakes and lets it go.

“Nice to meet you. I’m sorry it had to be under these circumstances.”

Shining shakes his head. “No, it’s my job. What my sister did is not something I can look past. She may be family, I love her to death, but, but not even family is above the law.” He let’s out a sad sigh as he looks to the table again. “At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.”

Celestia notices a frown on Anon’s face. He looks over to her, a certain glare in his eyes.

“Yes, well…” Anon looks back to Shining. “Twilight is the one who is supposed to be punished. I think bringing you into the mix may have made her punishment harsher, but it also had the side effect of hurting you as well. I am sorry that Celestia did not have the foresight to see this.”

Celestia flinches back, not only at the harsh tone Anon gave off but the thought of his words as well. Is what he is saying true? Did she really go too far? She looks over to the downtrodden mood of her loyal captain. By the sun, he’s right. She did not only punish her student, she also punished her brother as well. Even if that was not her intent, it’s what happened.

“Captain, I am truly sorry for having placed you into that situation,” Celestia speaks out.

Shining looks up to his leader. “No! Princess, I understand why you did it. There is no need to be sorry. It was my fault this even happened to Anonymous.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Anon comes in. “There was no way for you to know what Twilight was going to do.”

“I know my sister,” Shining responds. “She’s always been a little kooky when she doesn’t understand something,” Shining admits, feeling sad to have not known his own blood would do this. “It’s both shocking and not shocking at the same time to learn about this.”

“Regardless,” Celestia speaks up. “I should not have put you on that stage. Any other guard could’ve been here today. I used you specifically to strike at the heart of my student, your very own sister. It not only hurt her, it also hurt you. I am sorry, Shining Armor.”

Shining looks between his ruler and the creature known as Anonymous. It’s so odd to see how these two play off each other. He feels as if that he has no other choice but to accept the apology.

“I-I accept your apology, Princess.” He bows his head.

Anon lets out an internal sigh. More and more just seems to pile up on this day. He looks over at a clock hanging on the wall. It’s around two pm right now. Time seems to fly pretty fast.

“So, we have a few hours of spare time before we return to the castle. What can we do?”

Shining rises from his seat. “I think I should see Twilight. I don’t want her to think I hate her or anything. She’ll probably need help packing as well.”

Spitfire also speaks up. “I actually have to get back to the academy. I’ve been away for too long; some of the recruits are probably getting lazy.”

Anon understood where they’re coming from. “I understand.” He rises from his seat. “Allow me to show you two out.”

They both give him thankful nods as they follow him to the front door. The two sisters are not far behind everyone.

“I'll make sure that Twilight and the others are ready.” Shining gives a salute before he takes off.

Anon looks down to Spitfire who is flexing her wings some. “Maybe we can get together again?” he asks.

She chuckles a bit. “Sure, I’ll stop by when I get some time off. You’ll be staying at the castle, right?”

Anon nods. “Yeah. I should be.”

“Till then.” Spitfire chuckles a bit as she lifts herself into the sky.

Anon follows Spitfire as she soars in the sky toward Cloudsdale. It’s odd how that pony has a certain grace about her.

“What do you have planned?” Luna asks Anon.

Anon closes his eyes and thinks over what needs to be done. His day is far from over.

“I have some more business to attend to.” He turns around to face both sisters. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Do you wish for us to join you?” Celestia asks.

He shakes his head. “Nah, I think I’ve got this handled.” He snaps his fingers in thought. “Can you two help pack my things?”

Both sisters smile and give him a nod.

“Of course. We will load the chariot upon your return,” Celestia answers.

“Alright, I’ll see you two.” Anon turns around and walks off, giving them a small wave.

Both sisters watch Anon as he walks off into the distance toward a direction they are not familiar with. It’s not the town, but they trust that Anon knows where he is going.


This is stupid, really stupid. Anon has to do it, though. If no one else is there, then he doesn’t know what will happen. He can already hear the sounds of sobbing as he approaches a place he has not seen for a very long time. This is no time to stop. It needs to happen. He walks up to the small cottage door and listens slightly at the sounds of wailing coming from the other side.

Anon will admit that he did feel a bit of anger when Celestia told him that his outburst was purely because of a power Fluttershy has. However, he still feels that what happened that day kinda made things between them even. She reacted, he reacted and that was that. So punishing her just didn’t seem right. Celestia told him that she needed to train Fluttershy to control her power.

This is also something that he agrees with. However, that still doesn’t stop the feeling of wrongness inside of him. She’s a good pony, kinda like Pinkie. What happened between him and her was nothing like with the others. It was simply a wrong place and wrong time kind of scenario. While he definitely doesn’t see her as a friend, he kinda wants to make sure she is alright.

Then again... Perhaps Anon shouldn’t be here. There are a lot of animals in there right now trying to cheer her up.. Animals that wouldn’t take too kindly to his presence right now.. He gulps a bit as he quietly takes a few steps back..

Well, it’s the thought that counts, right?


Alright. The Fluttershy thing was wishful thinking. This one though is something he is going to make sure is done. Anon can’t stay here in Ponyville anymore, so he needs to talk to Bonbon. Hopefully, she is at home right now. He looks around to see that there are no ponies walking around anymore. He can see a few of them look out their windows in fear at his very presence.

He tries to ignore it the best he can. He needs to see Bonbon. Anon finds her home easily. It’s a place he has been to many times before. Anon walks up the steps, but just before he can get ready to knock, the door opens up widely. He looks down and sees Bonbon standing there. As they make eye contact, he notices her eyes filling with tears. Not a single word is said a she runs deep into the house, the sounds of her cries echo throughout the halls.

This cannot be good. Lyra pops her head out from the kitchen towards the noise. She then looks over to the door where Anon is standing. Lyra isn’t smiling at him like she usually does, she looks rather sad actually. Anon watches as Lyra walks out of the kitchen and towards him.

“Hey,” she says as she stands in front of Anon.

“Hey,” he copies.

“Um... We were in the crowd today. Heard about, about what everypony’s done.” She faces the floor, her eyes tearing up. “I’m sorry, Anon.”

Anon definitely feels uncomfortable about this entire thing. Ponies are so emotional.

“You don’t have any reason to be sorry.” He tries to calm her down a bit.

“I do have a reason. T-The heat and, and after that.. I haven’t been making life easier for you.” She admits with shame. “I-I just...” She looks up to him hesitantly as she looks back to the floor. “It’s nothing. Just silly thoughts.”

“I-um..”

Anon isn’t sure what to say. He kinda wanted to come here to let Bonbon know he was going to live in Canterlot, but now things seem to be more complicated than previously anticipated.

“I guess you want to see Bonbon,” Lyra says with a heartbroken sigh. She takes a step away from the door and points down the hall. “You know the room.”

Anon is about to walk past Lyra, but he find himself stuck. Lyra isn’t a bad pony. He’s kinda flattered by the thought that she even has an attraction to him. Anon isn’t that stupid. He’s known about Lyra’s affection for a very long time. You can only catch a pony masturbating in your bed so many times before you get the message. The fact there is even an attraction makes him feel… normal in a way.

You know, seeing as he’s a human and she’s a pony. He doesn’t know why she likes him, but it’s there. It’s definitely been an annoyance, but just like Celestia, it became a normal thing for him. Man, talk about a messed up life.

Lyra feels something settle on the top of her head. She looks up in shock as she notices Anon is resting his hand on her. She revels in the feel of him as he pets her lightly. It feels as if time is slowing down just for her. How his fingers push through her mane and travel up her skull. How he moves gingerly to the base of her ear and gives it a gentle scratch. She’s in love with every second that passes her.

“No hard feelings,” Anon speaks out just before he drops his hand and walks past Lyra.

Lyra can only stand there and watch Anon as he walks down the hall, a blush on her muzzle. She looks around with shifty eyes for a second as she rubs her thighs together.

“I should probably take a shower,” she whispers to herself.


Anon feels as if he’s done this before. Standing in front of a door, unsure on what condition the mare behind it is in. Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Knocking seems pointless at this point. When he turns the knob, he finds no resistance. Typical for these ponies to have locks but not use them. He walks inside the room to find Bonbon face down on her bed crying.

Well, it’s exactly how he imagined things would look. No time to waste thinking. He’s done this before, so it shouldn’t be that hard. With that bit of information to urge him forward, he walks up to her bed and sits on the edge. He rests his hand on her back and gives it a few gentle pats.

“It’s alright, Bonbon,” he comforts her the best he can.

Bonbon removes her face from her bed so she can look at Anon. There’s a good amount of hurt in her eyes, but her face is contorted in a look of pure anger.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” she yells.

Anon is thrown off guard by this sudden change. Bonbon is usually outspoken, but never one to raise her tone.

“Tell you what?” Anon asks.

“About what everypony was doing to you!” she screams. “I would’ve.. I wou-”

“What would you’ve done?” he asks her.

She is grinding her teeth together. “I don’t know... I would’ve done something!”

Anon lets out a sigh. “You wouldn’t have done anything, Bonbon.”

Everything goes numb. Anon lifts a hand up to his cheek and rubs the sudden soreness that’s there. All his emotions are gone as he registers what happened. Bonbon is looking at him with a certain rage in her eyes, her tears now flowing freely.

“How dare you say that to me?” she says appalled. “I-I wouldn’t have done anything? Is that what you really think?” Anon remains silent as Bonbon’s fury turns to sorrow. “I tried so hard to get the ponies to like you, Anon. To let them know that those creations you made were not made by me. I tried, I really did.. If I knew how bad it really was. I would’ve...done something.”

Anon can only sit in silence. He knows Bonbon cares about him, but he just never thought he deserved it.

“You mean a lot to me, Anon.” Bonbon continues. “Our first time meeting wasn’t the greatest, but I found a great friend.. It hurts to hear you say that I wouldn't have done anything if I knew about this.”

Anon understood now. Still, getting slapped by a hoof isn’t fun.

“I guess that makes sense,” he admits. “I’m sorry if I made you feel bad.”

“Sorry I hit you.” Bonbon looks away in shame.

Anon shrugs. “I probably deserved it.”

The hairs on the back of Anon’s neck stand on end as he feels Bonbon nuzzle into his neck. She’s always been a close companion, but, she never got this close to him before. Anon just decides to go with the flow and wrap his arms around her. Ponies tend to like being very close with friends. At least Bonbon doesn't cry as Anon holds her. She just continues to nuzzle him gently for awhile.

“You’re leaving, aren't you?” she asks.

“Yeah.”

“You aren’t coming back?”

“I don’t think it would be wise.”

Bonbon chuckles slightly. Anon feels her back away some, so he lets her go. He notices a small smile on her face.

“I wanted to surprise you, but I guess it’s too late for that.” Bonbon gets off the bed and walks over to a drawer. She reaches inside and pulls out a small envelope. She offers it to Anon and he takes it from her. “Go ahead, open it,” she urges him.

Anon opens the envelope and finds a piece of parchment. He removes it and looks it over. His eyes slowly grow as he looks at Bonbon, then back at the paper to double check.

“W-What is this?” he asks in shock.

Bonbon just continues to smile. “It’s the new store.”

Anon looks back at the paper. It’s written there as clear as day. Bonbon purchased a small shop in Canterlot. The owner of the deed is him..

“I-I don’t understand?” Anon asks.

Bonbon walks up and nuzzles him. “We’ve been making so much money because of the things you’ve made, that I decided that maybe we should move the shop somewhere else.”

“Why’s it in my name?”

Bonbon pulls back with a chuckle. “Well, you're my partner! You’ve been making all these different candies and bringing in so much money. I felt it was the right thing to do.”

“What about you and Lyra?”

Bonbon blushes some. “We agreed that a change of scenery would be nice. The place we got has a nice apartment above the shop.”

“So you’re coming to Canterlot as well?” Anon asks. “What about the old shop?” He then looks at the date and notices this shop was bought a few months back. “Wait... Why is this document so old?”

Bonbon chuckles nervously. “Well, I noticed you weren’t really happy here. So, I thought that maybe you wanted to leave. It’s no secret you and the Princess are good friends. So, yeah.. It seemed like the best idea. As for the old shop. We are planning on selling it. No reason to have two shops, right? Plus Canterlot is a hotspot for tourists.”

Anon looks down the document.

“Huh...”

Anon is speechless. Bonbon actually planned this? She actually cared enough about him that she was willing to move her shop? It seems so surreal to think that anyone would do such a thing for his sake. Then again, Celestia and Luna have done far more. Perhaps Anon wasn’t alone this entire time. For so long, he believed that it was him against the world. Because of that, he never really saw the few ponies that were beside him from the start.

“No need to act so shocked. We’re friends after all,” Bonbon comes in.

“Yeah,” Anon smiles at the thought. “I guess we are.”


“Why must Anon have so many clothes?” Luna asks as she continues to fold and pack Anon’s belongings.

Celestia rolls her eyes. “Anon already told you why. Humans prefer to be clothed in public and around friends.”

Luna blushes some. “To think something we take for granted is so strange to Anon. Does he think ill of us for being naked in his presence?”

Celestia looks down to her regalia. Luna has a point. These few pieces of gold do little to cover her body.

She shakes her head. “No need to be silly, sister. Anon would’ve told us if our bare nature were making him uncomfortable.”

Luna nods at that. “I guess you are right. I just want Anon to feel welcomed is all.” Luna lets out a sad sigh. She knows how Anon must feel. “My return has left me questioning many things as well. So I know what it feels like to not feel normal.”

Celestia nods sadly at that. “I understand. Anon is doing well. We had an agreement of sorts. He would make sure to tell me if anything is bothering him.”

“You know how Anon is, sister. He would rather hold his tongue for your sake over his own.” Luna says.

Celestia hangs her head. “I know...Still, I trust him to be truthful with me when I ask.”

The both of them fall into silence once more as they continue to pack his things. Luna then notices something.

“Sister.”

“Yes?”

“Why is it that Anon has no personal affections?”

Celestia feels her brow raise as she looks around the room. Luna is right. Anon doesn’t have a single thing that he may consider sentimental. All he has is his clothes.

“I do not know,” Celestia admits. “I guess he never really got to know anypony. So he doesn’t have many fond memories.”

Celestia feels herself become sad. She’s been around Anon for awhile. How did she not see the things that were happening to him from the start? Perhaps if she did, she could’ve spared him from whatever pain he went through.

“No reason to let your mind wander, Tia,” Luna speaks up as she faces her sister. “Anon is happy now. Thinking of what we could’ve done helps no one.”

Celestia gives a few nods at that. “You are right, sister. Better to focus on the present and not the past.”

Anon walks into his home. “I’m back.”

Both sisters look to one another with a smile.

“We’re in your room.” Luna calls out.

They continue to pack as the sound of Anon walking up the stairs fills the air. He walks into his room and looks around. A few suitcases are sitting on his bed.

“How’s it going?” he asks.

“We’re just about done,” Celestia answers.

He gives a nod. “Good, good.”

She turns to face him. “Did we miss anything?”

Anon walks over to the bed and looks his bags over.

“Looks like all my clothes are here.” He looks at both sisters. “That’s everything.”

Luna decides to speak up. “Is there nothing else you wish to take?”

Anon shakes his head. “Do I need any of the furniture?”

Anon has a point. If he is going to live at the castle, there’s no need for his furniture to be brought with him.

“There’s no reason that comes to mind,” Celestia says.

Anon shrugs. “Then that’s all I have.”

Celestia hesitates at Anon’s cool demeanor. There must be something that Anon wishes to keep from this place? Luna is right, there’s no reason to think further of this issue. If Anon has nothing he wishes to keep from here. Well, perhaps she can give him something he will want to keep in the future. Yeah, that makes her feel better.

“How about we get things to the chariot?” Luna comes in.

“Yes, it’s about time we set off to Canterlot,” Celestia adds.

Anon gives them a nod as they use their magic to move the suitcases to the chariot. The three of them walk out of Anon’s room, down the stairs and toward the door. Just before Anon takes a step out, he pauses. Celestia notices the lack of another by her side, so she turns around and notices Anon standing inside of his home.

“Is something the matter?” She asks.

Anon looks over his shoulder, then back to Celestia.

“Just give me a minute.”

Celestia gives a nod and Anon closes the door to his home. The two sisters decide to give Anon some time alone. Anon just looks to the front door for a minute, his life flashing before his eyes. How he found this place and spent many months alone building it up. He never built anything in his life, yet he kept at it until the place before him was the result. Lots of bruises and sore thumbs were gained in the making.

Anon decides to explore his home further, small bits of memories flooding his mind as he continues on. He walks over to a particular window in his home, a small smile appearing on his lips.


Anon lets out a sob as he holds a hand to his stomach. Today could’ve been better. Having a pony kick you just for speaking your mind wasn’t what he expected. Guess that means his life is going to get complicated soon. What’s the point really? These ponies don’t want him here. So why does he stay? Anon suddenly feels his thoughts stop as one of his windows explodes into a bunch of shards of glass.

He covers his face as the sound of something heavy can be heard landing on the floor of his living room. He removes his hands from his face and looks at whatever the hell caused this mess. Laying on the floor is a pony.. Not just any pony, but the Princess of this hell hole. Anon can only watch in shock as the Princess rises from the ground, shakes her body to dislodge the bits of glass in her fur and mane, then looks at him with that motherly smile of hers.

“Hello, Human. How many friends have you made today?” she asks with that smile never wavering.

Anon feels his eye twitch some. This pony dares to come crashing into his home and then ask him a question?

“I don’t care if you’re the Princess . This is my castle and that makes me king.” He speaks in a neutral tone. “Get out.”


Anon chuckles some at that memory. He literally had to push the princess to get her out of his home. Back then, he thought that she would’ve learned her lesson and left him alone. Boy, was he wrong about that. She just kept coming by each and every day to ask him that same question over and over. He walks out of the living room and into the kitchen, looking at the tea set still on his table.

There is one day that comes to mind when he looks at his set. The day where the Princess did not ask him how many friends he had made that day.


That Princess is getting on Anon's nerves. Every day is the same thing. She comes crashing into his home and asks him that stupid question. How many friends has he made? None! These ponies, they don’t want friends. He’s just a freak to them. The only pony that even looks his way is Pinkie. Even she’s too annoying to have as a friend. He lets out a sigh as he pours himself some much-needed tea.

“At least these creatures have one thing I can enjoy.” Anon whispers to himself as he raises his teacup to his lips.

Then Celestia comes crashing into his home. He can hear her landing in the living room again. He lets out a sigh.

“How man-” He hears the Princess stop her question and the sound of her hooves as she walks around a bit.

“In here.” He doesn’t want her snooping around.

The Princess walks into the kitchen with a smile on her face.

“There you are.” Anon notices her gaze on the cup in his hand. “Tea?”

Anon takes a sip. “Yes, tea.”

“May I?”

Anon sets his cup down and then proceeds to rub his face in frustration. The anger inside just disappears. She’s not going to leave anyway, might as well play her game.

“Yeah, have a seat,” he says as he gets up to get another cup.


Anon walks out of his home and turns around to face it for the last time. So much has happened to him since his arrival in Equestria. Things he thought were just fairytales ended up becoming a reality. He swore that he would never make a friend and now he has a few to call his own. That hope inside of him is growing. Maybe he can actually have a life in Equestria?

“Are you ready to go, Anon?” Celestia asks.

Anon closes his eyes and takes a deep breath in through his nose and slowly releases it out his mouth. With a smile, he faces his two friends.

“Yeah, I think I am.”

Celestia gives a nod and allows Anon to take his seat on the chariot. Celestia and Luna join him in the chariot as well.

“What about Shining Armor?” Anon asks.

“We have another chariot for them,” Luna answers.

“Shouldn’t we wait?” Anon asks.

Both sisters look at each other in a grin before they look back at Anon.

Celestia speaks up. “While looking into Pinkie’s mind, I happen across a few certain memories.”

Anon feels as if something isn’t right here.

“What memories would those be?”

Luna now speaks up. “A certain someone's birthday. A day that so happens to be today.”

“Really?” Anon knows he’s been caught.

Luna nods. “We have a party already waiting for you back at the castle.”

Anon gulps some. “Really, you two don’t ne-”

Celestia uses the tip of her wing to silence Anon from speaking further.

“It’s no problem. We’re friends after all,” Celestia says.

She drops her wing as Anon decides to accept his fate.

“Alright.. but, can I make one request if I’m forced to have a birthday party?”

“Anything you desire.”

Anon looks out towards Ponyville.

“Bring Pinkie.” He chuckles a bit. “She’s probably the pony that’s been waiting the longest.”

Celestia’s horn lights up briefly as she sent out a message.

“Shining Armor got the message. He will be sure sh-”

“I can’t wait!” Pinkie says with a huge smile as she wraps her hooves around Anon and nuzzles into his chest.

“Pinkie!” Anon screams in shock.

She quickly pulls back. “Heh, sorry. I just got the message from Twilights brother.”

Anon places a hand on his chest trying to slow down his heart.

“Yeah, just, try not to do that anymore. It’s been awhile since I had to deal with it.”

“Okay!” Pinkie gives him a salute as she bounces slightly on her seat in excitement.

Both Celestia and Luna can only look at this pony in confusion. How did she not only get the message, but also appear in the chariot in such short time? Anon notices the two sisters and shakes his head.

“Just ignore it. Pinkie is, special.”

“Yes, well.. I think we should depart now,” Celestia says.

A guard walks to the side of the chariot.

“Are you ready for take off?” he asks.

Celestia nods. “I think we are.” She looks to Anon. “Anything else?”

Anon shakes his head.

“Nothing I can think of.”

The guards give a nod and walk to the front of the chariot to strap themselves in. Pinkie snuggles up to Anon and rests her head onto his chest. He just rolls his eyes and looks out towards the horizon as the pegasi liftoff and start flying towards Canterlot. Luna notices a certain look in Anons eye as he gazes out to the skyline.

“What are you thinking of?” Luna asks.

“About my time here in Equestria,” he admits.

“Would you change anything?” Celestia asks.

Anon chuckles at that as he looks down to the pink mare by his side and the two sisters sitting across from him. The smile that very few ever seen is now a regular thing for those he cares about. Would he change anything? The answer is obvious.

“No, I wouldn’t,” He says just before he looks over to the horizon again. “I wouldn't change a single thing.”


"How many friends have you made today?!"


Author's Note:

Yes, this is the official end to "How many friends have you made today?!". I know many of you will probably be asking for a possible sequel. I am open to the idea of a sequel, but I have a few other stories that need some special love and attention. So I think I'll dedicate some time to them before I even entertain the thought of giving this story a sequel.

However, I also like to know what you guys think. If you would like to see a sequel to this story, then let me know in the comments below! Some of you might be thinking. What can we expect from a sequel? Slice of life, redemption, revenge, romance. I honestly have no idea! So many possibilities, but that's not something we have to worry about right now.

So, anyways. Thank you all for the support on this fan fic. I still can't believe this one shot ended up becoming one of my most popular fics ever written. It's been a long road and I thank you all for sticking with it till the end. We lost a few along the way and even gained a lot of hate as well, but we persevered and came out on top! I hope you enjoyed this fic, till next time!