• Member Since 13th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 12th, 2022

Sarcastic Brony

Give me one reason Celestia isn't best pony. Pro tip: You can't



Anon likes his life to be simple. He wakes up, goes to work and sometimes gets himself a good book to read while he is home. It's a routine that he likes to follow, it makes him feel like he has a bit of normality with his life in Equestria. The fact that having Celestia come crashing into his home as part of his routine should prove that his life is anything but normal.

(Thanks to PeerImagination for editing!)

Chapters (16)
Comments ( 2905 )

Nice touchey-feely story. I liked it, cant tell if a one-shot though.

Nice Kung fu panda reference you put there

mapu #5 · May 26th, 2014 · · 11 · Really? ·

Umm gummy worms are made out of gelatin, which in turn is made out of bones and skin/hide.
Gummy worms are made from "meat" (well animal byproducts).

Otherwise good story.

4449495 do you want to say that to the goddess of a vegetarian land?

Well, I did the impossible and actually read a non-featurebox AiE.

It was pretty good.

i have to go wash myself of the shame now

There are gelatin alternatives.

To be perfectly honest, I forgot that was even a thing in Kung fu panda. Just a happy coincidence.

This was kinda cute! Would there be more in the future?


4449592 Pectin does not have right texture, and its more like jam. And I think I might have Agar allergy, so I can't say for sure how good it is, but I puked after trying it.
From what I hear it is not that bad, but its made from allege and stuff. I guess you could use it?

Quite a cute story. I was kinda anticipating that Anon would consider Celestia a friend of his.

The only thing that sours the narrative is your bumbling with tenses. Past or present, pick one and run with it. Stop using both, it's just ugly.

I dont think I quite understand. Are you talking about how I will sometimes jump to past events as to give more detail, or are you talking about the weird quirk I have with some sentences were I mix past and present tenses on words?

If it is the former, then I have to disagree. Without that type of narrative this story would be rather hollow. If it is the latter, then that is just a weird habit I could never break and it is really hard for me to spot those types of mistakes. I went back and tried to edit many of them out, but they still happen from time to time.

4449952 It's not the in-story context. I'm talking about stuff like this:

Anon sets a pot onto the stove to boil and brings out his good tea set. While he avoided ponies for the most part, if they chose to come and visit then he would be a good host. Again, Anon just didn't want friends, but he wasn't mean to the ponies because of that. The sound of hooves could be heard coming down the stairs as Anon puts the finishing touches on the two cups of tea.

None of these have a reason to be in the past when you opened the paragraph in present tense - they're happening in the present, continuously so.

THAT is the mixup I'm talking about.

Hmm... This story was pleasantly cute and... Calm? Peaceful maybe?
Not a story so mouth frothingly cute you get cavities just by reading it.
But cute :twilightsmile:

Anon just wants his piece and quiet

I'm pretty sure that that piece is not right one.

It was sweet story anyway. Still celestia is crazy. It is bexoming so much usual after I come to this site.

Wait their foals and colts love the idea of eating worms! :pinkiegasp: oh by the sisters there starting to be like us okay nobody tell them about twerking or their generation is Fffaaaa screwed!

Joking aside it was every nice story :pinkiehappy:

Suri Polomare exists so that bit about ponies not screwing one another over is pretty BS. Other than that it's a cute little fic.

absolutely beautiful

Wish I could find kosher gummy worms but alas

It makes sense that Celestia was his only friend, since she's the only one that almost never gets caught up in shenanigans.
She delegates that to the Elements of Harmony.

Aww, cute! Will there be more?

4451028 It can be argued that Anon doesn't know that.

4453231 Celestia should damn well know that considering she runs the freaking country and she's the one that thought that.

4453872 Who, that oblivious fuck that thought she could trust Discord and doesn't know something as calamitously destructive as a parasprite? Excuse me, are we talking about the same Celestia?

A misconception I think many people still have about Celestia is that she is omnipotent. That because of her old age she knows everything about everything. She is just like any one of her little ponies and that is the point I'm trying to make. Case in point, she's been alive for thousands of years, yet she never seen a parasprite before. As proven in the episode 'Swarm Of The Century', where she clearly states she never seen a creature like them before.

I also like to think that Celestia has that motherly attitude about her. They are 'her' little ponies and they would never be so cruel to one another. A mothers sight is short and their knowledge limited, but that doesn't mean you love them any less. While she does run the country she probably never gets reports on non-violent crimes. Might I also add that in the entirety of Manehatten, there was only one Suri.

4455010 Never said she was ominpotent, but she should damn well know ponies are capable of screwing one another over in order to advance themselves. She's surrounded by nobility after all.

Nice story.

But I don't get why so many authors name their characters or self-inserts with "Anon", why not Tom, or John, or Alex. or Bruce? :derpyderp1:

Add mooooore to the story! New chapter! Something!

4455314 It allows the reader to pretty much insert themselves as the anon character is why. Not exactly the best form of writing, but its popular. Sort of like those old 'choose your own adventure' goosebump novels that allowed you to feel like a part of the story by giving you the ability to choose what to do. :twilightsmile:

4456262 Well, I get what you are saying, it's just it's really hard to insert yourself into some already formed character, who is definitly not you. And man, if you would go to Equstria would you name yourself Anon, isn't Eater of the Worlds way cooler, no? :rainbowdetermined2:

Well, if you went to Equestria, you would still be you. Unless you were a pony, but I'm not going to get into something like that. Also, Eater of the worlds is a good name for a statue in Canterlot gardens, if you catch my drift.

4456529 By my so intentionally hidden joke about "Eater of the Worlds" I ment that there are a wide variety of what the character's name can be.

I ment that your story is revolving around a human who moved to Equestria, so when he went for his whole life to Equstria he totally named himself Anonymous. Why?


You see, when Anon first arrived in Equestria, everything was rather hectic. The ponies were in an epic battle with a god of chaos at the time, and they thought he was one of his friends.

Arrival doesn't mean he came in by train. The fact that the main six did not recognize him also means that they never seen a human before. We can speculate that he was transported to Equestria by Discord during the first episode of season 2.

Most Anon in Equestria fics base themselves on the idea that Anon comes from earth. When he shows up to Equestria he forgets his past, but still knows a lot of things about earth. For some reason or another, he identifies with the name Anonymous more than any other. That's really the basics of it. Think of it kinda like a guy with amnesia, except it can never be cured and he likes to call himself Anon.


Man, it doesn't matters at all how he came to Equestria, not that I showed a great interest to know. And I didn't speculate that at all.

I get the topic though, you could've just sent me to wiki.


Man, it doesn't matters at all how he came to Equestria, not that I showed a great interest to know. And I didn't speculate that at all.

I ment that your story is revolving around a human who moved to Equestria, so when he went for his whole life to Equstria he totally named himself Anonymous. Why?

You speculated that he moved to Equestria, meaning it was a choice. You also thought he chose his name, meaning you thought he already had a name.

4456827 If you don't have a name or if you have a name you CAN CHOOSE how to be called introducing yourself to strangers. Though (READ THIS --> ) after I read "Anonymous in Equestria wiki" I totally get why you called him Anon.

He lives in Equestria, and nobody really forces him to. So you can say he moved there. Even if at the begging of his "teleportation", "forced movement", "Discord's spell" he was a stranger, now it seems he lives in his own house in which HE MOVED IN.:pinkiecrazy:

Huh.. never knew someone made a wiki just for that.. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

I wish this weren't a simple one-shot, but it was a very enjoyable read regardless. Short and sweet, exactly what I like to read before going to bed.

Also, third person AiE is surprisingly... natural. Good, even. :rainbowhuh:

I thought the "secret ingredient" was going to be gelatin. I'm sure the ponies might have a problem with that, if they knew about it.

Needs a going over, quite a few instances of you using a period in place of a comma, but other than that, pretty good fic.

Comment posted by meme-asaurus deleted May 29th, 2014

take all my yes and just keep it, keep it all...

aww come on Sal you gotta do more! Please?:fluttercry:

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