• Member Since 12th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen January 28th


Yo, I'm a mid-twenties guy living in the Mid-West of America. I love the taste of a good IPA, or Stout, and nothing can beat a good bottle of Whiskey especially Rye.


Meet Osaka Jones, as a human he was an avid drinker and freelance writer for less then savory magazines.
Now after somehow falling through the sky into another world.
He's now a dark orange Pegasus with a brown and purple mane, stuck in a land of other colorful ponies who in his opinion are just too damn happy most of the time, and don't believe he was ever human to begin with. Well except for that mint green unicorn, but she's crazy as hell.
And to top it all off the only alcohol in this world is hard cider and wine, plus a little Pegasus filly keeps thinking that he's her long lost Father!

Chapters (19)
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Comments ( 141 )

You have a severe case of Ellipses Overdose. I suggest not using ellipses (the "..." things, if you are unaware) so often. Grammar is also lacking. Story is somewhat telly and this is not aided by use of first person POV. Dialogue is really the only redeeming factor that I see, but that's with significant overhaul where the repetivness is removed and more casual conversation picks up as opposed to just mechanical and situational speaking.

I don't hate the premise of this fic. I don't like it either. It is simply better than most Human-turned-pony HiE fics that I've seen come here in troves. I suggest joining appropriate groups for assistance in both idea creation and writing mechanics.

Wait shouldn't oj realize that applejack is a tipe of hard liquor and is similar to brandy?

3816078 Yea that's going to come up eventually.

3815307 Yea I understand what you're trying say. This is my 1st attempt at a Fanfic and I am trying to find some people to help. Also not going to lie this story is going to be generic as hell at least for the first couple of chapters.

subconscious is one word.

this story shows promise.

while i find the idea interesting im probably not gonna read it at this point in time but you have a good idea here nontheless

4094404 No to what exactly?
The tense change or something else?

Was there a reference to a dash of humanity by Kaidan in this chapter?

4095835 Yes there was. I needed a reason for Rainbow Dash being kidnapped so I thought of throwing in a small reference to one of my favorite stories on this site.

4094746 It might not really be that long. It all depends on how long it takes me to finish the other project, and how motivated I'll be after work since that's when I do most of my writing. The next chapter is already planned out.

Wait, could this dude have taken over chickens dads body?!?:pinkiegasp:

Oh snap there's going to be a fight!

4193850 no way, Osaka or rainbow would kick his ass (plot,flank?)into next week

4194217 he's not pinkie pie he can't just magic pies into existence however he could take a swig of whiskey and breathe fire.

4194217 I have actually made a pie with apples that were soaked in whiskey for a day. It was awesome.

...I just realized that the whole Apple family is blonde. Also, whiskey! Yeaaaah!

Oh, a Soarin' appeared! Is it time for a threeway?

That assumes he's carrying whiskey with him everywhere. And he probably does. Inside him. In his bloodstream. Constantly.

Fucking love this OC. When are we getting more?

4302553 Should be a week or so depending on work and what not.

4302615 Thanks, great story. Btw what inspired osaka's (middle name included) name I can't think of any references.

4302641 It's taken from a song that my friends wrote about me in high school. I was referred to as "Osaka Jones with the Shanghai Twist" because I mostly dated Asian girls throughout high school. I always enjoyed that line, so when I was looking for a name for my OC it just seemed like a good fit.

4302723 This will actually be addressed in an upcoming chapter.

4302972 He was supposed to be an alicorn but all the magic went to his liver so he processes alcohol really fast?

4303067 Thank you. I really enjoy comments such as theses.

2.Please, this is some good right here, not enough fics with a slightly abnormal human who doesn't want to fuck (buck?) rainbow straight away. Good job mien friend :eeyup:

"Osaka will you read me a bedtime story?"

I looked down at Scootaloo all wrapped up in her blankets and giving me the puppy dog eyes.
I said "No," and walked out of her room.

you evil heartless bastard.:twilightangry2:

that better be in the next chapter:trollestia:


To be fair, the kind of bedtime stories Osaka writes aren't exactly foal-friendly. Nor restricted to beds.


heh....interesting jab at some of the "bigger" dash x oc stories :rainbowlaugh:

4729916 It was either that or I was going to make a joke about all her ex's being called Anon.

This story is now Madgod approved. :pinkiecrazy: :yay: have you been doing the fishstick? Its a very diffiicult process I have mastered. *Book appears in hand* Ah! My favorite play! 'The Lusty Argonian Maid'. I shall read this till the next release. Remember, madness HATES to wait, you know.

This was such a heartwarming chapter between Osaka and Scootaloo. I enjoyed the way that Rarity teased Osaka by repeatingly measuring him and even measuring his junk. FYI, that line about Pinkie makes me wish that the next chapter comes soon as any shipping with Osaka is amusing.

I still can't believe he fucked Ditzy and Time Turner

This is awesome so far! Update more shall you my good sir?

4917074 It's coming. I've just been busy with work lately. Should be out in a few weeks.

I got to say that the ending of the chapter was intense. Still, I liked seeing Fluttershy getting assertive with Bulk, that made me laugh.

Damn, wonder what happened in there with Osaka in last bits of this chapter.

I loved the mood and everything so far, good job Mr. Author! :P


Osaka's drunk?! That's enough of a surprise to summon an eldritch abomination.

Poor Lyra. I'm glad that Pinkie got her wish, though.

You're telling me that NO ONE told Bon Bon what happened to Lyra for 2 weeks? and that she didn't even go looking for her?

5147296 Actually if you reread a few chapters you'll realize something.
Bon Bon only waited two days.

I'm guessing this was long in the making. Really, kidnapping suspicious ponies together can't be the most recurring couple activity you do with your loved one. For shame.

Still, poor Lyra. That's not a good day, indeed.

I like the ending. Ps Don't read things written by good authors while stoned you get really into it for some reason.

I hope Surprise doesn't find Osaka first! Anyway awesome story so far. :moustache: remember stay classy


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