//------------------------------// // Lyra Heartstrings Bad Day // Story: The Misadventures of Osaka Jones // by RabidTonberry //------------------------------// A few questions floated around in Lyra’s mind as she slowly woke up, and they were as followed. “Why is everything all white and fluffy?” “Why am I wearing a dress?” “What’s with this weird bracelet on my leg?” The latter was what Lyra was concentrated on the most. She rolled over onto her back from her position on the white fluffy floor and brought here bracelet clad foreleg to her face. The bracelet was made of a simple black cord, and had a small stone charm attached to it. Being a Unicorn, Lyra knew a rune stone when she saw one, but she couldn’t quite make out what kind it was. She lit up her horn and pulled the bracelet off with her magic. She then fell through the floor. If any pony had been looking at that given moment at the outskirts of Ponyville, they would have seen a mint green unicorn falling from the sky screaming for her life. Unfortunately for Lyra no pony had been looking. “SHIT SHIT SHIT,” Lyra screamed as she fell. “Come on Lyra think the ground is coming up fast,” she panicked, grabbing at her mane with her fore hooves. One of her hooves brushed up against the base of her horn, “That’s it!” She closed her eyes and concentrated, her horn lighting up and with a loud POP she disappeared. “Aha!” she exclaimed reappearing. She then plummeted the rest of the five feet onto the ground hitting her head. “Ow,” she sat up and rubbed her head. She looked up at the cloud structure she had fallen from, “Rainbow’s house? Why was I up there? And why am I wearing a little black dress?” she said looking at herself, “Well at least I make this look good,” she striked a pose. She giggled for a second over her silly antic, before adopting a serious look. “Alright,” she pulled her dress off over her head. “I remember…”she, absent mindlessly folded up her dress, “I remember being at Applejack’s barn… and then… something about drinking… and then…” she shrugged. She looked around the deserted field, “Well I’m not going to get any answers from just sitting here,” she got up, levitated her dress onto her back, and walked towards Ponyville. Lyra hummed a merry tune as she skipped into town. She happily waved and greeted her fellow ponies as they walked by, which they returned with equal enthusiasm, but as soon as Lyra passed they would break out into hush whispers. But Lyra paid that no mind. She was well aware that ponies sometimes talked about her behind her back. After all it was common knowledge amongst the citizens of Ponyville that she once kidnapped Rainbow Dash during Rainbow’s little brain parasite incident, as well as kidnapping Osaka that one time with the help of her marefriend Bon Bon. She continued on her merry way, but stopped when an odd sight caught her attention. It was the local dive bar. It looked more or less the same as Lyra saw it the last time, except the large window out front was smashed outward as if somepony had crashed through it to escape. She tilted her head in thought, and one of her ears perked up from the sound of ponies running behind her. She turned around and caught the sight of a white unicorn with a blue mane quickly trotting by. “Hey Vinyl!” she called. “Lyra?” Vinyl said, skidding to a halt. “You’re awake!” she exclaimed, turning around to face her friend. “Yea, why wouldn’t I-,” Lyra was interrupted by Rainbow Dash, who was flying overhead above Vinyl, coming down and landing right in front of her. “Have you seen Osaka anywhere?” Rainbow asked, grabbing Lyra by the shoulders in a panic. “No…I just…woke up not too long ago,” Lyra stammered. Rainbow let go of Lyra and let out a frustrated sigh. She attempted to take back off but she was seized by an aura of lavender magic. A slightly winded Twilight descended and landed besides her, “Rainbow would you please stop flying off on your own,” she panted out. “But Twilight…” “No, buts Rainbow, Vinyl and I have been busting our flanks trying to keep up with you. We all agreed to search the town in groups of three. You need to calm down. We will find him.” “Uh, what’s going on?” Lyra asked. “Osaka had a freak out at the party last night and crashed through the bar window. He’s been missing ever since,” Vinyl said. “Party?” “Oh yea that’s right you’ve been asleep for the two weeks or so.” “I’VE BEEN ASLEEP FOR TWO WEEKS!” Lyra yelled. “Uh huh, you passed out during the whiskey tasting at the Apple Barn a few weeks ago. You’ve been sleeping it off at my place,” Rainbow added. “Is that why I woke up in your house?” “Yea, how did you get down by the way?” “I fell,” Lyra replied, rubbing her head clearly embarrassed. Twilight bit her lip and fidgeted around as she watched her friends get Lyra up to speed with what had happened while she was knocked out. Rainbow had her reasons for wanting to find Osaka as quickly as possible, and Twilight had her own. Twilight was cutting loose with her marefriend Trixie not caring who was watching. Tonight she was just an ordinary citizen enjoying herself at a party. She had already drank quite a bit tonight (1 ½ drinks) and she was rather tipsy when Princess Luna approached her. “Twilight we must speak.” “Ohhh hi Luna, isn’t this a great party,” she slurred. Princess Luna rolled her eyes, “How can one of the princesses be such a lightweight,” she muttered. “What was that Lulu?” “Nothing, now I really need you to really pay attention Twilight.” “Have I ever told what a great ass you have,” Twilight drunkenly smiled. Luna sighed as she lit up her horn enveloping Twilight in her magic. She concentrated on the younger Alicorn vibrating her insides until Twilight let out a massive burp. Twilight blinked, her once drunkenly glazed eyes returning to their normal sharpness as Luna released her from her magic. “I did not just come on to you did I?” Twilight blushed. “Indeed you did, but don’t worry I shall not tell Trixie,” Luna plainly stated. “Also I’m flattered but no, just no,” she added. Twilight awkwardly giggled. “Now I need your undivided attention Twilight.” Twilight’s demeanor got serious, “Of course Princess.” “I need you to keep a closer eye on Osaka for us.” “Osaka?” she titled her head, “Is something wrong?” “No, at least not at the moment,” Luna replied. “I’m confused Luna.” “It’s probably nothing, but Discord said he sensed something about him.” “Discord?” Twilight questioned. “Discord sensed something? And we should trust Discord why?” “He was rather distraught Twilight. Its true Discord could just be messing with is, but it’s better to be safe than sorry at least until we know for sure.” “I suppose your right Princess,” Twilight sighed. “But I think you’re putting too much faith in Disco-“ “Osaka calm down! Come on look at me Osaka look at me,” Rainbow’s voice shrieked interrupting Twilight. “Oh boy.” It hadn't even been five minutes and Twilight had already failed Princess Luna. She needed to find Osaka quick so she could fix that, and figure out what caused him to freak out. “Rainbow, Vinyl, we need to get back to looking,” Twilight called. “Right, I’ll go ahead and check out the next place,” Rainbow said taking off. “Rainbow we need to stick together,” Twilight called chasing after the rainbow haired mare. Vinyl watched the two ponies as they flew off and sighed, “You gonna be okay Lyra?” she asked her friend. “Yea, I’ll be fine Vinyl. I should really get home, Bonnie is probably worried sick about me,” she said before trotting away. Vinyl watched as the mint green unicorn rounded a corner, then I thought struck her, “Wait, we did tell her that Bon Bon…” she trailed off, scratching her chin. She shrugged, “Well she’ll find out soon enough I guess.” Lyra skidded to a halt outside the moderately sized house she shared with Bon Bon. She took a deep breath and magiced out the key they kept hidden in a nearby bush, “She’s going to be so mad at me,” she said opening the door. What greeted Lyra was not what she was expecting. What greeted her was Thuderlane reading a book on her couch. Thuderlane felt a draft from the open door and looked up from his book, he developed an uneasy look once he saw who it was, “Ohh, hi there Lyra,” he said. “Hey there Thunderlane…whatcha doing?” she closed the door. “Ohh, you know… just reading a book.” “On my couch…” she slowly approached Thunderlane with a menacing glare. “Well… uh… you see…BONNIE!!!” he panicked. “Just a minute Thundy,” Bon Bon’s voice rang out from somewhere else in the house, making Lyra stop in her tracks. “Thundy?” Lyra questioned. Thunderlane blushed, “Well uhh umm BONNIE SHE’S HERE?” “She’s here? Who’s here?” Bon Bon asked as she walked into the living room, but once she saw who it was she stopped in here tracks. “Lyra,” she spat! “Hi Bonnie I’m home,” she smiled. “YOU! How dare you show your face around here,” Bon Bon yelled at the minty unicorn. “Huh?” Lyra’s smile fell. “You had the nerve to come home piss ass drunk just after losing your job with the Canterlot Orchestra. Then you ended up disappearing for two weeks without a single word, and you think its okay to just barge back in to this house!” “I uhh well the drunk thing wasn’t my fault I was helping Osaka,” Lyra meekly defended herself. “So it’s Osaka’s fault that you got drunk instead of looking for a new job? Did he pour it down your throat himself?” “No,” Lyra rubbed the back of her neck and looked away, “He asked me to help him though.” “You could have said no. You could have told him that you needed to look for a job so you could help your marefriend pay the bills! But no you didn’t.” “But he guilt tripped me. You know with the kidnapping,” Lyra pouted her lower lip protruding out and whimpering. “No Lyra no, don’t you look at me like that,” Bon Bon frowned and jabbed a hoof threateningly at Lyra. “I learned something while you’ve been gone,” she sighed and lowered her hoof, and gave Lyra a sobering look, “I needed a more mature partner. I needed to find somepony that takes things more seriously, a pony that can hold a job for more than a year, a pony who doesn’t think kidnapping a mentally distressed pony for research is a socially acceptable and romantic thing to do.” “We only did that like two times and I learned my lesson from the last time,” Lyra muttered. “Lyra we did that five times, and honestly I thought you would have learned your lesson after the time you kidnapped Time Turner and you ended up getting beat to a pulp by Ditzy.” “Well…” “Or the time you kidnapped Pinkie and she broke free. She then spent a better part of a month viciously pranking you.” “Well…umm…How is Thunderlane more mature than me?” She questioned. “I mean he spent the majority of the year hitting on Rainbow Dash!” “Yeah but he gave up on that when he witness Osaka almost kill Berry Punch in a drinking contest at the café two weeks ago. She had to get a new liver and everything.” “I want nothing to do with that guy!” Thunderlane chimed in. “He scares me,” he whispered. “It’s okay Thundy, he scares me too.” “Okay hold on, Thundy? Seriously?” “To be honest I’m not too big on it either,” Thunderlane shrugged. “Oh, hush you,” Bon Bon said going over and giving Thunderlane a quick peck on the cheek before turning back to Lyra. “Lyra, I will always love you,” she said looking genuinely sad. “But I can’t do this anymore. I need to move on with my life.” “Bonniee…” “I put all your stuff in the shed out back you can come and get it anytime you want, but for now I think it would be best if you left,” she said turning her back on Lyra. Lyra opened her mouth to say something but the sight of Thunderlane shaking his head at her clammed her up. She hung her head and exited the house letting loose a little whimper. Lyra trotted through the town. Not really knowing where she was going, nor caring. She had loved Bon Bon, she really had. But she knew there nothing she could do to fix her situation, at least not at the moment. So she walked head hung low, trying to fight back tears, and she slipped. Falling on her back with an, “Ohf,” she opened her eyes just as slightly rotted banana peel landed on her chest. “Eww,” she sighed out just as thunder roared around her. The once sunny blue sky turned a deep crimson and a certain pink party pony appeared out of nowhere and started to bounce around Lyra. “She’s here, she’s here, she’s here,” Pinkie Pie bubbly announced with an enormous smile, “All hail Surprise, Bringer of the Endless Party!” “Uhh,” was Lyra only reply. Meanwhile at Sweet Apple Acres, as the sky grew an even darker shade of red and thunder and lightning rained down around the town. A lone dark orange pegasus with a two toned mane of dark brown and purple stumbled out of the Apple Family’s cellar and with a mighty drunken bellow he screamed, “GUESS WHO’S DRUNK EQUESTRIA!” Osaka then tripped, fell down face first, and passed out.