The Number One Patient

by RushyFiction


What Seems To Be The Problem?

During the evening, when the very last golden sliver of sunlight shone across Ponyville, ready to wink out and give way to the moon, a white filly called Redheart dashed across the fields next to Sweet Apple Acres, with a wide smile on her face.

As she reached a grove of pine trees, she slowed down, counting them in her head until she reached a particular one. "Shaggy!" She hissed quietly. Unable to see through the branches, she had to contend with waiting until she heard the telltale flapping of leathery wings.

A small, fluffy bat colt with a rusty red mane gracefully glided around the tree until circling around directly into the filly and knocking them both to the ground. "Oops!" he mumbled worriedly and crawled off of her. "I didn't mean to do that!"
The filly was unharmed though, and simply snorted as she brushed leaves out of her pink mane. "I think you need to work on your landing."

Looking despondent, Shaggy tried to salvage what he could by nudging the filly up with his snout. "Thanks." Redheart said gratefully and patted her fur with a hoof. Seeing the crestfallen expression on the batpony's face, she felt compelled to add: "It was really cool when you came down, though! You didn't tell me you could fly already!"

Shaggy scratched the back of his head, blushing a little. "Well, I can't. Not properly, I mean. I've been trying, but that glide's the best I got."

"It's cool." Redheart repeated in a finalizing tone, before glancing up at the tree again. "We should probably go... don't wanna wake up your parents."

The thestrals had arrived to Ponyville a month ago, and took up residence near the Everfree Forest. Since they were notoriously solitary and ill-tempered towards daytimers, most ponies soon forgot about them. Redheart hadn't even found out about their arrival until she stumbled across Shaggy.


Ponyville was usually a quiet place, but during a cider festival, it became something of a skittering anthill. The Apples' product had become so famous over the years that tourists from all over the place stormed in just for the chance of tasting the famed liquid.

For little Redheart, however, it was the worst day of the year, because it meant lots of tiresome running around, and then standing in line with her parents for hours on end for something that she couldn't even have herself! Irritated beyond belief, she spent most of the day nagging at her own parents and wishing she could've been at home playing with her medical kit, maybe perform a life-changing operation on her teddy. But no, she was lying on her mother's back and watching all the stupid adults run around as if the Mane-iac was in town.

As her tired gaze spread across the town, they focused on something she'd not seen in any previous festival - a wild-looking colt with slitted eyes and two sharp little teeth peeking out of his mouth, hunched up next to a fountain. "Mommy, mommy, look at that colt!" Redheart shouted to her mother, who merely hushed her as she was busy haggling.

Harrumphing, Redheart hopped off of the mare's back and carefully navigated the crowd to get to the fountain where the monster colt was. To her surprise, the colt's face was streaked with tears and he looked absolutely miserable. The filly's trot came to a halt as she became nervous. "Um..." she said, getting his attention.

The look of his blood-red eyes was so scary that she had to take a step back and began worrying whether she should've waited for her mommy. But she didn't dare run either. The colt rubbed his eyes clean. "Uh..." he mumbled.

"W-what seems to be the problem?" Redheart stammered, spurting out the typical nurse catchphrase usually reserved for her teddy. She shook her head. "I mean..."

"I don't know where I am." Shaggy admitted. Though she didn't know it, he was as taken aback by her as she was of him. He'd only recently learned that ponies came in all kinds of colours after his family moved away from the mountains. But even so, the filly's crystal blue eyes, vibrant pink mane and snow white fur were astonishing to him. She was the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen and he was crying in front of her! Idiot! Fool! And every other word his parents could come up with!

Redheart nodded slowly. "I think my mom can help. I mean, when she gets over here... what are you?" She walked all around him, examining his unique look.

"I'm a bat pony."

"... a bad pony?" She took another step back.

Shaggy shook his head repeatedly. "No, I'm not bad! I'm really nice. I'm just a *bat* pony. Like a pony, but also like a bat! I'm not going to hurt you!"

"... oh. Well in that case, I'm Nurse Redheart!" She held out her white hoof, all fear forgotten, and the bat pony shook it awkwardly.
"I'm Crimson Star, but my friends call me Shaggy. Are you really a nurse?"

"Yup! I even treated a turtle once!"

...

Of course, just as the conversation between the youngsters got good, Redheart's parents found her and helped Shaggy find his way back to his thestral family. That didn't stop the two from regularly playing whenever they could and learning more about one another.

As he himself had claimed, Shaggy really wasn't a bad pony at all. He was polite to a fault, and would play hospital with her every time without fail, though admittedly he was the worst patient ever with how ticklish he got when she ran her toy scalpel over him. It made surgery really difficult, to say the least. But even though it drove her up a wall, she still preferred to have him over any dumb loudmouth from class. The more she matured, the more she began to feel possessive and protective of him somehow. Her schoolmates were just colts - but Shaggy was the one she'd found and saved.

On the other hoof, Shaggy's impression of Redheart remained pretty much constant. He found her to be the prettiest and smartest filly in the world. That was pretty much it. Shaggy wasn't a huge thinker.


"Come on, Shaggy! I'm staaaaaaarving. Chop-chop! A little exercise does the body good!" Redheart sang and deliberately caressed the bat pony's jaw with her tail playfully to egg him on. The two had only agreed to hang out in Sugarcube Corner with milkshakes and maybe a cake, but evidently the mischievous filly had something bigger in mind.

"Yes, Nurse." Shaggy rolled his eyes and galloped after her into the town and to the candy store. By the time they made it to the door, they were both panting and sweaty. Despite this, Redheart smirked at him. "We should do this more often."

Shaggy raised an eyebrow. "We should?"

"Mmmhmm." Redheart hummed as she looked over the bat pony's glistening form. "Very healthy."

When they entered, thus ringing the bell, mrs Cake looked up and smiled. "Ahh, Redheart! You two are just on time. Come, I've got a lovelytable for you two!"

The bat pony wasn't sure when reservations became a thing in the candy store, but it wasn't really important either. He was going to have a good time with his best friend, and that's all that mattered. "You know, after all that running, I am sort of starving." He confessed, after they sat down.

"Yeah." Redheart chuckled. "Here... check out this menu mrs Cake left!"
She hoofed him a pink, handwritten card with a number of random dishes, from simple hay to some that were either from Stalliongrad or just plain made-up. It was nothing like the ordinary menu of pies and other delectibles that the bat pony had seen many times. A big circle surrounded 'red velvet cake' with several arrows pointed at it.

Shaggy glanced over the menu to see Redheart leaning on her elbows and observing him with interest. "Soooo... see anything interesting at all?" She asked innocently.

"... I suppose I'm in the mood for something sweet. Like a... red velvet cake?"

Redheart clapped her hooves together. "Wonderful idea! I'll go tell mrs Cake right now!"

And then, before Shaggy could even blink, the filly had dashed off and run through the doors into Sugarcube Corner's kitchen. "O... kay?"


Fortunately, the bat pony didn't have to wait too long, as Redheart returned about five minutes later, carrying not just two slices, but an entire cake on her back. He gulped. "Errr, whatever happened to being healthy?"

"We were healthy. Now we feast." said Redheart. "Little help... please?" The final word came out as a bit of a squeak for some reason and as Shaggy picked up the cake from the white filly's back, it became evident why.

The top of the cake was white, with a red streak in the shape of a heart circling a bright red dot in the middle of the cake. It was nice and symbolic, but Redheart had evidently planned for her bat pony's slow wit and had written BE above the dot and MINE below it.

As Shaggy stared at it without blinking, Redheart's tail began wagging nervously. "I... I just, I really appreciate... you... and..." she mumbled, her chest tightening up so much that she found it difficult to say anything at all. She swallowed, her necessity for the bat pony to understand just how she felt about him somewhat overriding her nervous breakdown. "... and I think you're a good pony. I think you're the best pony and I want you to be, I'd like you to be my... my... colt... friend..." she choked up.

"I..." Shaggy's mental faculties completely failed him at the absolute lack of logic of Redheart choosing him of all ponies to be special someponies with. "You... you made this for me?"

Holding back tears, Redheart nodded. "M-mrs Cake... helped. I wan-wanted you to... l-like it... do you?"

"... ye-yeah..." Shaggy whispered, still expressionless.

Hearing something affirmative, Redheart's white ears perked up. "A-and will you...?"

Shaggy looked directly into Nurse Redheart's bright blue, caring eyes and realised he didn't need courage to love her as she already loved him. Somehow. The whys and hows could be worked out later. With no more hesitation, he stepped off the chair to close the distance and finally kiss her...

but he tripped over the table leg, flipping it and splashing the cake right over his head in front of everyone.


A few painful seconds passed in absolute silence as the customers, mr and mrs Cake and Redheart all stared at the mess Shaggy had made.

Suddenly, the bat pony sprung to life and fled for his life, still covered in glaze. He could hear the filly shouting his name in the distance behind him, but it only made him run faster, even using his wings to push him further.

His eyes burned from the mixture of rushing air and foul humiliation. So close, he was so tantalisingly close to real happiness and he mucked it all up by being himself. At the moment, Shaggy's very existence felt like a cruel joke to him. Though Redheart hadn't been wrong in assuming he genuinely loved her, he had never asked for her. Since he was little, he'd been raised to believe that he'd eventually find a proper thestral to carry on the family line and that was that. Everything between then and now would be him idling and enjoying whatever life would throw at him.

Yeah, enjoying...

Eventually coming across a stream right outside of town, Shaggy threw himself in without hesitation and viciously scrubbed the cake out of his mane, whilst endlessly muttering to himself like a senile old coot. "Idiot, imbecile, cretin, fool, laughing stock of the family as always, stupid, dumb, slow-witted little..."

"Sha-!"

Redheart's voice was a scratchy whisper by this point, but the bat pony's ears caught it just as well. Instinctively, he simply dunked himself underwater and hoped she'd go away. It didn't work.

Shaggy was dragged out of the water flailing and snarling as Redheart held an iron grip around his barrel until he finally went limp in her hooves. "I-I'm sorry." Was all he could get out.

"Shhhh..." Redheart cooed and nuzzled the back of the batpony's head as the latter struggled not to start crying again. "It's okay. I've got you. I've got you." Her nurse mode kicking in, she quickly spotted several scrapes he'd gotten during his mad dash and memorised them.

"I mucked it all up..."

Redheart rubbed her cheek against his. "No. You tripped. It was an accident."
"Once is an accident. Twice is a disappointment. Three times is a loser." Shaggy replied, and the words sounded awfully quoted to the white filly. "If I... if I became your coltfriend, you'd just be looking after me all the time."

"Shaggy, no one who has to be babysat would be tearing his mane out in a mucky cold stream. And even if you were, I'd make money off of it, so..."

Finally the bat pony cracked a grin as he looked at the white filly upside down. "Yeah, you would, wouldn't you?"

"Mh-mh. Now then!" She jumped to her hooves. "Up! I know we're a bit big for it now, but I feel like playing hospital. Back to my house? That is... if you want to..." her voice slightly wavered.

Shaggy responded by finally pressing his lips against hers, drawing out a whimper from Redheart. It wasn't anything spectacular, they didn't Prench kiss, but they knew there would be time for all that. Right now, all they needed was absolute confirmation that they had one another. And they did. "I'd like to- no, scratch that. I want to be your coltfriend. And I promise I'll try to do a better job than today."

The white filly squealed in glee and hugged him. "That'll be really hard to beat!"