Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Hiatus Bonus Chapter
Query From Canterlot High
Dear Princess Celestia,
As Twilight most likely informed you, last year we had to deal with a trio of sirens that had been banished here by Starswirl the Bearded. I'm beginning to wonder how responsible that was; why not just lock them up back in Equestria? Why put an entire other world at risk? This isn't some villain dumping ground.
I'm writing to you to see if Starswirl kept any records of any other beings he might have banished.
The thing is, we've got a real estate tycoon running for president over here, and, you know, I'm just wondering if he used to be an evil camel or something.
Sincerely,
Sunset Shimmer
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What prison could hold them? And before you mention Tartarus, think about it this way, with all the hate in there, they'd be damn near omnipotent and the human world had no magic until you brought Twilight's crown.
Nah, he's just a dumbass.
Trump is worst camel. I mean, he doesn't even spit on people that make him mad!
Dear Sunset Shimmer,
Actually, he is a dromedary. It is quite common to mistake a camel for a dromedary, but there is an easy way to tell the difference. A dromedary has one hump and a camel has a refreshment car, buffet, and ticket collector.
Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and camel spotter,
Neko Majin C.
Post Script: If you do not want your letters intercepted, you should not make it so easy to intercept them.
~KBO.
Dear Sunset Shimmer,
Star Swirl the Bearded banished them to that world because there wasn't any magic there for them to use their powers, and if you had never stolen Twilight's crown, they never would have been able to do anything worse than creating petty Facebook squabbles.
Sincerely, Princess Celestia
P.S. Tartarus was already full. Do you have any idea how many evil villains there were running around a thousand years ago?
Trump is just a meat-puppet controlled by his hairpiece.
Dear Sunset,
In truth, we were just using it because it was convenient; I mean nothing ever comes back through, so it's not our problem anymore. Hell, sometimes when I was too lazy to take out the trash, I'd throw it in there.
6728993 You should see the play i wrote on the subject
This Trump nonsense seemed funny at first, but it's gotten rather terrifying to be honest. Sucks I won't be able to vote in the primaries, but I'll be able to vote in the general election.
6728993 - That hairpiece defies all physics and logic.
(actually, I'm not sure it's a hairpiece per se, but rather an extremely complicated comb-over)
Won't lie: I almost want him to win the nomination (but Nate the Oracle says it's nearly impossible – <20% chance). If he does, the fireworks and fallout will be glorious. All aboard the insane train!
(also, I'd love the opportunity to vote against The Donald – though I don't like admitting I'm American)
6729419 Trump is the absolute last man I'd trust with the job of president. I still don't understand why either party would need to run 16 candidates in one election, just to pick one to run in the general election. That's overcrowding the playing field to a level where only the loudest voice gets heard. A few candidates from both parties aren't bad, they can offer a contrast in policy and idealogoy, but when you get almost 30 candidates running for president, it's hard to know who's the least worst choice.
6728973 The crown helped, but they already were capable of controlling people with music. And they were apparently immortal. If the weren't idiots, they would have already taken over the world. I've considering writing a story where one of them already had thanks to compound interest and didn't realize it. Or one where Aria had taken over the world economically and Sonata got a major religion worshiping her, and they just hadn't told Adagio because she seemed so happy trying to figure out how to take it over.
6729164 So that's how the bible came to earth
You know how I've heard there is this joke about Donald Trump throwing people back into Mexico? I can half imagine Donald Trump throwing Sunset Shimmer back to Equestria thinking it's a shortcut to Mexico.
Does she think Celestia thinks that far ahead?
He was not a camel, I can promise you that. Evil? Zebra? Goblin? Golem of some kind? No guarantees.
6729842 That kinda the point of the primaries in the frist place, to vet the parties potional candidates so as to get their voting behind one if them.
pls
6730339 But when one party has 14 different candidates still in the running as of now, that's way too many choices to pick from, especially when only the winner gets all the delagates. It becomes almost impossible to find a strong candidate until only a few months before the national convention. And when only the most radical voice gets attention, that leads to problems as we're seeing with Donald Trump's fear mongering tactics.
6728912 ...You haven't actually spotted any camels, have you.
Way to play your Trump Card there.
6730478 Regardless of who wins, I'm probably going to make a fair effort to move to either Canada or Australia. Possibly England. Anything but the insanity of the American system for the next four years.
6731200 I really can't recommend Australia right now. But we're getting an election next year as well, so...
6730815
6730624 Well, so far, Toby, up to the present moment, I have spotted nearly... ooh... nearly one.
Dearest Sunset,
I don't recall banishing any camels, however, there used to be three Flim Flam brothers until one was banished for megalomania and general rudeness. Sounds like he's taken an assumed name; I'd change my name too if my parents called me Flem.
6731554 Let me know when that happens and what happens with it.
6730478
Actually, in the early states (up through mid-March, if I recall correctly), all states are actually required to assign their delegates proportionally. It takes about 1200 or so delegates to lock up the nomination, and about 1000 are available in the states with proportional representation. If Trump is running at 40% or so, then he would end up with 400 delegates (leaving out lots of complicated math around various state-by-state rules) - a third of the way there, but not so far that he'd be inevitable. At that point, if the field has winnowed itself down to just three or four, then he might not be able to keep winning pluralities in the winner-take-all states. But if there are still five or six, then he might well have a nigh-unassailable plurality until he has enough to win.
6731662
grump, like g for griffons? because they're a bunch of greedy asshats? and their names all start with g?
6742830
still waiting for a fic where trump buys out canterlot castle...
6821624 If I make jokes about something, it does not automatically mean I am bigoted against it.
But if that is your train of thought, then please by all means, stop supporting me, because I won't tolerate ignorant bullshit like that being spewed on my stories.
6821624 Furthermore, if you've been reading from the beginning, how the hell did you make it this far? This was seriously the first thing to set you off? Seriously? You got through the racist jokes, the sexist jokes, the religion jokes, the politics jokes, the 9/11 jokes, the Nazi jokes, and the one you can't tolerate is a single trans joke?
6731889
Oh, you're no fun anymore.
6821789 you know, not gonna lie, I was upset with the trump joke too, right up until I saw your post. Now I seem kinda silly
Though to be honest, the trump jokes have gone on nonstop for so long that they just seem cheap, ironically enough considering who it's about.
Not saying anything bad about the chapter or you, just making an observation on the trump jokes in general.
This is a good point.