The sight of Twilight and Spike being crushed broke Dan. It drove him beyond anger into a blood fury, a rage that couldn't be expressed. So much so he abandoned planning and even cut his own shout short, breaking into a full run at Rice. He made no noise, his lungs using every ounce of energy to suck in more air and push him harder and faster. And it wasn't hard or fast enough.
Rice held up a hand and Dan stopped dead in his tracks. Dan was almost too furious to notice and far past the point of caring. Rice levitated him a foot off the ground, holding his wrists and ankles in place with magic, forcing him to hang helplessly.
"I want to thank you," Rice said, pulling Dan closer to him. He grinned only slightly. "You were right about me, Dan. Right this whole time. It is about revenge. This entire time... it was always revenge."
"I'm going to rip off your limbs. I'm going to rip off your limbs and strangle you with them," Dan said through gritted teeth. Dark blue-purple rings of energy held him in place.
"But it's also about the future," Rice continued. He brushed Dan's cheek with his gauntlet in a sick, sadistic way. He'd gone up a villain tier. So what had Dan gone up? "We're a lot alike. And I found out something- the Director was never going to let me build my utopia in the first place. The kingdom I always wanted... it was never meant to be. She was waiting for me to launch the Sword Spells. They would have redirected and impacted Equestria. The devastation would have been total. Even then, there are those on Earth that know about us. Retaliation is inevitable."
"I tried to tell you that. WE tried to tell you that," Dan said. Rice denied him the use of his jaw so he couldn't bite him, but he could still speak through his teeth. "There's no way you're gonna win. Everyone is against you."
Rice smiled brighter. "I know. Just like you, right? One man against the world."
Dan locked eyes with him. "It's NEVER BEEN about. Just. Me. And that's what you'll NEVER understand."
"You referring to your friends sneaking up on me?" Rice glanced over his shoulder. He reached out with his hand just in time to catch Captain America's shield, flip it up on its side and use it to deflect shots from Redfield's sniper rifle and Khan's phaser.
The shield absorbed hit after hit. "Valiant effort, as always. If only effort mattered." He flipped the shield again so the disc surface faced outward. The shots that would have been deflected now reflected back at Cap, Chris and Khan, forcing them to take cover. The beam of Khan's phaser scorched the stone just above the three mens' heads.
At the same time, Springer, Lightning Claw and Spinner on the opposite side unleashed with their own weaponry. Green plasma, red lasers and Lightning's own blue lightning cascaded downward in a lethal barrage. Rice turned to them and spun the disc in their direction. Cap's shield cut through plasma, laser and lightning all at the same time to clunk the trio of formerly-treacherous ponies in their noggins.
"Is that it? No, of course it isn't. It never is with you people, is it?"
"HEY!" Gust yelled from up above. "Who in the hell are you calling 'you people'? I'll have you know I'm a chicken sandwich, Mister Executive Broducer! Right, Danny?"
Dan glared at him and just slowly shook his head, disapprovingly. Gust grinned and gave him a talons-up, because he's a dumbass.
"We've gone from the loyalists to the traitors to the fools, I see," Rice said. "Then again, you're all fools."
Gust grinned. "Yeah, well this fool also happens to be a pretty good thief." He pulled out an object. "And I got your cell phone, Spice Dip."
"Where did... oh..." Rice's smile faded into a shock of disbelief. He reached for his pocket and discovered that Gust had indeed pickpocketed him.
"HAHA! Way to go, nuggets!" Dan cheered. "Free me so I can pummel him!"
"You got it, brogadier general!" Gust pointed the device at Dan and pressed a button. "Now you're gonna-AAAARRRHH!" The device tazed him.
Rice then looked up to see the other griffons, pegasi and any other side characters we may have yet to mention arrayed above the destroyed ceiling, waiting to descend upon him. He spread his hands out and grabbed them all from their high perches or where they hovered, brought them down to the floor and forced them to bow. All those who had stood against Rice in the past we referenced from Aegis Ally to Zen Zeal, he brought them down and forced them to the ground.
"Haha... yes, that's finally everyone, isn't it? Thank you, all of you for finally giving me your undivided attention," Rice said.
Spinner looked around, the side of her face mashed against the floor. "This is really everybody? Feels like there should be more at this point."
"Oh yes. How could I forget?" Rice snapped his fingers and up from the ground teleported Blast Fuse, Blast Powder, Firedance and Discord. The fire pony was about to light a bomb the two sisters and Discord had just made.
"Drat," Blast Fuse said. "Can you give us just another minute? Please?"
"I'm sorry my dear," Rice replied. "There's no time left for games."
"Thppp-thppp thppp-thppp!" That's what you think! Fluffle Puff and Marksaline leaped at Rice with their only weapon of choice- the Fun Cave. Intending to use it as a prison cage, they rushed Rice with the pillowy pocket dimension only to have him dodge the three mares and pluck the Fun Cave from their hooves. The two continued tumbling past him in a cartoony fashion until they hit the far wall.
"Actually, I needed this." Rice reached into the giant, oversized pile of pillows and pulled out a small statue. "As they say, there's always Peng." He unscrewed the top of the statue and discarded it and the Fun Cave. Underneath it was a miniaturized marker that Marksaline had been keeping.
"Even in their raw form, the Sword Spells are undeniably powerful," Rice said, looking at the object. He took the Blasties' bomb and attached it to the Sword Spell, making it look oddly like a bomb with an evil horn on it. "But to just explode this and kill you all would be... well, Dan? Why don't you kill people when you exact revenge upon them?"
Dan scowled at him for a moment, even though his face was already stuck that way. "Death is a mercy. You don't deserve mercy."
"Precisely," Rice nodded. "When I lost my son... I lived for a thousand years with the pain. A thousand years unable to forget nor forgive nor accept the pain. Rice Puddinghead truly is just a shell of what once was and could have been. He died along with this nation of Equestria, half-covered by a lie to let the labored beast of kingdom limp onward another day. So when you threaten me, it really is a worthless gesture. You might as well be beating a dead horse."
"Lame!" Lightning Claw yelled.
"But accurate. And I have been beaten. Like you Dan, I keep coming back. Which is why there's no reason to try and kill you." He walked over to where Twilight Sparkle lay and picked her up. "Not on its own." A shield encompassed both him and Twilight. The bomb in the center of the room activated.
"LEAVE TWILIGHT ALONE!" Dan shouted. "She's never done anything to you- your vendetta is with me!"
Rice only looked at Twilight. "My vendetta is only with Twilight. Only with Tia... with precious little Lulu. And all the others who set idly by and let what happened to me happen. They knew about it. They knew about it the entire time."
"OBJECTION!" Phoenix shouted. "Twilight wasn't around back in your time, Rice!"
"Of course she wasn't," Rice said. He shook Twilight's body... and it turned into Chrys. "But Chrysalis was."
That was when the real Twilight and her friends crashed through the door with the Elements of Harmony. They fired at him. But of course, even they knew they were one element short. Rice absorbed the beams of harmony's might, making no effort to dodge or mitigate the damage. When the energy display was finished, surprisingly, he was encased in stone. But not his head.
"It was worth a shot," Twilight commented.
Applejack patted her friend on the shoulder, slowly followed by Rainbow, Fluttershy and Pinkie. "If Rarity were here, she'd tell ya to keep your chin up, Twi."
And then the Cutie Mark Crusaders plus the Magic Gears and Daring Do came crashing through with Trixie and Flim and Flam riding one of their contraptions. They destroyed what was left of the entrance. But Rice just stared at them.
"The Great and POWERFUL Trixie... does not know what to do next. To be honest, I'm actually somewhat surprised we got this far. Go figure," Trixie said, breaking character only momentarily.
Finally, Vinyl Scratch and Octavia smashed through the windows. And into each other.
"Hey, this place would make a good location for a WubWay," Vinyl said.
"We wouldn't have to keep paying for roof repairs," Tavi added.
"ALRIGHT, ENOUGH," Rice clapped his hands together. The new additions clamped against the walls in whatever space was left. "Is that absolutely everyone now? This is getting tiresome even for me." Granny Smith came in riding Big Macintosh and rode right past Rice.
"Okay. Fine, we're just going to have to make sure every single pony slash person is here before I murder all of you," Rice announced. "Nobody move, this shouldn't take long."
12 hours later
"Sup fam, Dustchu here and if you're just now joining us, Vice Grip or whatever has captured us all and is threatening to kill us with a bomb. We're completely helpless, all seems lost and we're all probably gonna die. How was that, Barro? Do I get the job?"
Barro frowned. "We'll call you."
"Oh, shut up Barro," Michael said.
Rice, twitching angrily, returned to the center of the room. "AND THAT'S ALL OF THE FOODIMALS AND FLUTTERSHY'S PETS. Now, does ANYBODY have any last objections to me killing you all?"
Dan stared at Gary Busey. "How the hell did this guy even get here?"
Rice nodded in a psychotic-aggressive manner. "Right. Right, I don't even know why I bother. Killing you all now, say hello to Cleo for me. Best regards, losers." He picked up the bomb, turned on the switch and projected a shield around himself. The timer counted down from ten.
All around the room, from all walks of life and all forms of relationship to Dan, Twilight and the others, they all watched the red numbers as they counted down to zero. All were silent. A few held each others hooves, those that could reach, a few averted their eyes. Some wish they'd brought popcorn but those that actually had did not eat.
The time counted down one second at a time. But when it got to one, a muffin landed on it.
THERES ALWAYS TIME FOR ONE LAST MOMENT.
SQUEAK.
A new chapter means it's ~Sunday~ I have no idea what is up with me today, but I am just (as Applejack would say) "plain tuckered out" and just typing this latest review before I start counting Dream Sheep! Now lemme see n'ere *dons reading glasses*
Fausticorn DAMN IT ALL! Why-oh-why won't this bucker just be KO'ed and STAY KO'ED?!
Well ... that took a while! I honestly forget how many friends/enemies turned begrudging allies Dan has mad of over the course of this epic saga ... it's both awesome and humbling at the same time I love all you guys!
Also may I take a moment to praise Gust Grasp who has reached the Pinkie Pie Level of Self-Awareness ... Nice
Well, Vice/Rice isn't a total psycho, he actually acknowledged Cleo wanted no part of his "Gotta Nuke 'em all!" plan (and honestly I'd still rather take Director Cleo over this fruit loop cos she's even more of a tragic Villain than he is ... who does NOT grate on my LAST nerve)!
How the heck is everyone stuck to the bucking walls?! Did everyone become Half-Steel Type till the end of this battle or something?! Cos if not I call "Shenanigans!" on this ass-
A delicious (and nutritious) Muffin? There's still hope (especially if this is who I think it is)!
Now for my favourite quotes:
Ohhh Tartarus no!!! He did not just bring Dan's Bug-Horse Waifu into this again?!
... Oh I know the biggest loser in that room did not just call Dan and Friends what I think he did?! GRRRRRR!!! VIIIIIIICE RIIIIIIICE!!!
*Lioness gasps for breath* Phew, blacked out a little there ... sorry to steal your bit Dan, I know it most lies had none of your usual impact but ... this hypocrite needed it!
A Muffin MacGuffin ... can we all just take a moment to appreciate how awesome this is?!
Phew! And that's everything I loved (most) about this week's installment and I'll be eagerly awaiting the next! (Seriously how will Dan and Friends get outta this one?!)
Thanks for making my weekend like always and I'll see you ~next time~
Your Eternal Fan ^_^
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I'm very happy to be your weekly reset. I write with you and a lot of the other commenters in mind, to be honest. It is heartwarming to have someone so appreciative of my work. As I've said before though, I only consider it mine in a very broad sense. It's our story, the story and world of any who love it, love these characters or just want to have fun or maybe know someone like Dan and Chrys and Twilight and Fluffle. People like them exist, that's how the characters exist. I'm happy to provide you with a weekly laugh and a smile, you and everyone else. You commenting gives me a weekly smile and actually helps me keep going a lot of times.
To answer your question, Rice is simply beyond them all now, or so it seems. They're trying to figure him out but nothing quite fits. Twilight and Phoenix's theories have come close, maybe, but do we really know? He's just like Dan in that regard. Only Dan's true friends understand him, and even then only once in a while. And Rice doesn't even have any friends any more. So who could possibly understand him?
But it's never been about just Dan. That fact is about to be made very, very clear.
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Apparently so, my friend.
I swear, if Derpy saves the day with a muffin, I'm going to have some kind of fit. Weather it be a conniption fit, coughing fit, or laughing fit I don't know, but I look forward to it all the same.
Also, it's not too often a story catches me off guard, but I got caught up in the moment and honestly didn't see that bit with Chrys coming, well played.
Now to hold my breath until the episode finale.
~Dollars.
Clearly, I am speaking the truth in this chapter.
*nod nod*
The Crazy Train conductor always has a secret plan under his hat!
Good show! Let us see what happens next!
Muffin man to the rescue!