Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1)

by Barrobroadcaster

Resort: Visionary

Dan finished his sandwich while Cap and Redfield explained the communicator to Twilight. Phoenix made no other attempts at humor, for which everyone was thankful.

"I think we'll wait til tomorrow to use the communicator," Twilight said. "Let the sea ponies and everyone rest for the night. Hopefully, once they've settled down, they'll be in the mood to talk."

Spike looked up at Twilight, expectantly. "You'll ask them, won't you?"

She nodded. "That will be the first thing I ask them." Rarity, Pinkie, Applejack, the princesses, so many others. They could be anywhere. Even Vice Grip had disappeared and there had been no further contact from the shadowy Director. Cleo, Twilight reminded herself; the creature had a name. There was no discussion among them of what they might do if anything happened to their friends. No talks of what would happen without them. They had passed that before even trying to find them. They would find them. There was no other option.

"We still may not have gotten all of the sea ponies," Dan said. He held up a colorful chart that looked like a calendar. "So until we can be sure we've got them all, I'm setting the "Evil Douchebags Might Attack Us" Alert System to Level Yellowy-Orange. The next level is Yellowy-Orange-But-Also-Kinda-Pink. This means to keep alert that douchebags might attack us, lookout for specific douchebaggy behavior and be wary who you snuggle."

Phoenix held up a clock face with a bunch of cartoon faces on it. "The Fun Time World Might Explode Clock has also moved up from midnight to 13 o'clock. And I don't know what that means," he said.

"Where did we get those things?" Spike asked. "We definitely didn't have them up until now... I don't think."

"Fluffle Puff made them!" Chrys said.

"Oh. Then, they're very important," Spike said, not questioning it further. He reminded himself to go check on the Rarity sculptures Sweetie Belle had helped him move into Carousel Boutique. Hopefully, they had survived and Rarity would enjoy them when she finally returned.

"We have to remember to treat the prisoners humanely," Captain America said. "I know Chris and I are just guests here, but I strongly advise against anything aggressive against the sea ponies. That includes interrogation," he said, looking around the room as he did so. "We'll do everything we can to get information from them, but we can't resort to actions that might cause more problems down the road. Every action we take can lead us either closer to peace... or further from it."

"Not gonna be a problem, Stevie," Dan said, leaning back. "The Mayor said she's gonna cover for us. I know you're thinking I'd said up some kind of FDR internment camp for them. But actually, I'd have their prison camp next to a vat of oil and batter and I'd tell them the first one who told me what I wanted to know didn't wind up next to coleslaw and hush puppies."

"Ha," Phoenix laughed exactly once. "If Gust was here, he'd be happy you were threatening another group with food-related puns."

"Speaking of which, we should contact Cloudsdale and find out how badly they were hit," Twilight said. "With all those sea monsters flying overhead, the pegasi and griffons probably got the worst of it."

Dan nodded. "Eeyep. And I have to say, the Jerklave and the Jerk Chickens did a bang-up job keeping our skies secure. We're going to have to give them all medals."

"Is Gust's medal going to be a chicken nugget?" Blast Fuse asked.

Dan promptly whapped her with a pillow. "YOU RUINED THE SURPRISE!"

Phoenix leaned forward as Dan abused the twins with the furniture. "You know, a lot that happened in that battle was a little too convenient."

Dan stopped strangling them. "Convenient how? Convenient that the town was only half-destroyed and not completely destroyed? Because we're at Yellowy-Orange right now."

"Hey guys?" Chrys said, "I just noticed now that Fluffle Puff has been replaced by a cardboard cutout of herself. Should we be worried?"

"Convenient as in a lot happened that was really lucky... for us," Phoenix said. "A lot of things went our way right when we needed them to. Like the tank."

"I like the tank."

"I know, Dan."

"Seriously? Guys, Fluffle Puff isn't here," Chrys said. She looked up. "She's not on the ceiling either. How long has this cutout been here?"

Phoenix stood, began pacing. "But the way it just showed up right when we needed it. And the way Flim and Flam did the same. Trixie, Aegis, and especially that orbital strike."

"I like the tank, Nicky. Don't try to say the tank is voodoo or something because that's not how tanks work," Dan warned.

"Forget the tank for a moment."

"Never."

"Okay, everything BUT the tank was a really convenient coincidence," Phoenix conceded.

"Yay," Dan's eyes twinkled. And then they went back to normal as he stood. "But I do see what you're saying. Almost as if someone PLANNED out this whole thing. It wouldn't make sense, though, because I'm completely unpredictable. I mean, even I know me, and I wouldn't have been able to predict which part of the town I'd destroy in Tanky. It would be entirely useless to an enemy because I'd just blow up everything."

Phoenix nodded. "Yes. An enemy wouldn't be able to predict your actions."

"But an ally might," Cap said. "Destroying a specific section of the town, knowing how different people would react, what they would do... that's not information an enemy would have."

Twilight's stomach grew cold. "That... would mean we have another traitor in our midst."

Dan turned to her. "Or we never found the original traitor in the first place. And the question is still: WHO?"

Chrys tapped Dan on the shoulder with the cardboard cutout. "Fluffle Puff is gone."

"Fluffle Puff's gone?!?!" they all exclaimed.

The front door of the library burst open. Dan and company ran outward, shouting, "PLAN FFF! Find Fluffle Fast!!"

"She could be anywhere! And remember, she looks like this!" Chrys said, holding up the cutout. "Dawww, even the cutout of her is so cute I could just snuggle-wuggle like a big warm buggle-wu-HEY! Wait a minute, the Cardboard Cutout Store! We should check there first!"

"Yes! The Cardboard Cutout Construction Paper Company on the corner of Arts Street and Craft Avenue!" Dan exclaimed. He mounted his girlfriend. "To the cutout store! Charge!!" With Chrys in the lead, they all charged in the direction of Arts Street for about three meters and then stopped when they saw Fluffle Puff.

"Fluffle Puff!"

The sea pony prison camp had to be pretty big, so it stretched from the south part of the town all the way up to the Library. Fluffle Puff was inside the retention/detention pond, swimming with the sea ponies and having fun. A group of food-shaped animals swam nearby, floating on their own, somehow.

"Fluffle Puff!" Dan ran up to the pond. There were no fences in place yet, much to Dan's dismay and rage. "What are you doing, young lady? You're swimming with the enemy!"

Fluffle didn't Thppth but instead spat water out at him. It landed inside the pool.

"Awww, Dan, she's having fun," Chrys said. Fluffle was using water wings and an inner tube to keep most of her hyper-absorbent fluff out of the water. The sea ponies raced her and darted around her, some snuggled up to her and she nuzzled them in response.

"They're all having fun," Twilight remarked. Without their weapons and armor, the sea ponies looked almost like they'd belonged in Equestria all along.

Cap and Chris put away their respective weapons. There was no danger here. "Looks like an important first step here, Cap."

He nodded. "Agreed. I'd jump in with them if it brought us closer to peace."

"Great idea, Cappy! CANNONBALL!!" Blast Powder yelled. She jumped into the pool prison.

"CANNONBALL FOR WORLD PEACE!!" her sister called, jumping in after her. And then Chrys leaped in, followed by Spike and Twilight.

Dan couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Need I remind you that THEY TRIED TO KILL US ALL LIKE AN HOUR AGO?!?" He held up the chart. "We're at YELLOWY-ORANGE, PEOPLE!"

Phoenix patted him on the shoulder. "I think we just dropped back to Code: Fluffle, Dan."

"Do not make fun of the alert system, Nicky."

Khan stepped up to join the other humans. Tuxley and Reginald were close by, watching him. "They would seem to be in a good mood, yes? Perhaps this is the time to make inquiries?"

Cap shook his head. "Maybe not, Khan. I think it might be better to let them have this moment."

The augment watched the display of the creatures playing. Fluffle booped the heads of the sea ponies, one at a time and they submerged in unison. Like a version of aquatic whack-a-mole, but without any points or score. They were just having fun, no rhyme or reason to it. Khan smiled... and what was remarkable about that, was it was genuine. And he knew it. "You may be right, Captain. You may be very right, indeed."

The sea ponies didn't speak english, but they apparently understood it. Twilight asked about her friends and the princess the moment she could, but none of the sea ponies in the pool had an answer. Whoever led the attack seemed to be missing. Or they hadn't made their presence known yet.

Dan waited at the edge of the water for Chrys and Fluffle to get done. His arms were folded, but he wasn't really upset with them. "Traitor... who among us could be a traitor?"

Phoenix sat next to him. "I think I might have an idea about that."

"Who?" Dan asked.

Phoenix leaned in and whispered, "The Mayor."

Dan's jaw opened. "But... she covered for us. She made our jobs easier!"

"Think about it," the lawyer said. "Who was the one who deployed the tanks, the orbital strike weapons? She ordered us around, all over town. She's more than happy to let us walk away from the havoc we caused so she can clean up. Something doesn't add up about all of that."

Dan's fists clenched. "Of course... I've known she's had something against me. Ever since Christmas, something about her has just felt... off. I don't know, something about her didn't sit right."

"Don't jump to conclusions," Phoenix warned. "We just have a theory at this point. No evidence, no motive. But no one else was involved the way she was. Trixie, Blueblood and Berry Punch were unconscious, Flim and Flam were... being salesmen, Aegis and the other guards were with us, our friends were all at home and Gust and the fliers were all in Cloudsdale."

"I have not heard her song."

"GAAH! Dammit, do you HAVE to keep doing that?"

"These sea ponies are happy now. I hear their hearts," Marksaline said. She appeared beside them, wet from the pond's water.

Phoenix turned to her. "Marksaline, have you heard any songs close to us that might sound like they're... against Ponyville? Does anyone near us sing of destroying Ponyville?"

The necromare thought for a moment, then closed her eyes. Her horn glowed. "I hear... happy songs." Her head bobbed as she listened. "They are happy. They sing of harmony, of new friends and a hero."

"Hero?" Phoenix asked.

"Hero, heh," Dan said. "Well obviously, they're talking about me and all of my exploits."

"I'm asking seriously. Can we be serious for a moment?"

"They are."

"What?"

"Wait, what?" Both humans turned to her, shocked. "Seriously?"

Marksaline nodded. "They sing songs of the man who fell from the sky, the angel of harmony."

Dan shook his head. "Really? I mean... me?"

"Give yourself some credit, Dan."

"I... kinda thought I was," Dan said, uncertain. Did ponies in town really like him that much? They considered him a... hero?

Marksaline's horn glowed. "I can show you." And that moment, time stopped and the three of them disappeared.

Ponyville appeared. Dan and Phoenix were somehow seeing it from far above, in some sort of magic vision. The town was repaired, the sun was shining and Cloudsdale and the griffon ships hovered high above along with the cruiser moored. The sea ponies were far away. Dan and Phoenix understood they were seeing a vision of before the attack.

The vision changed. In front of the Town Hall, Trixie was setting up her stage again along with Blueblood. Berry Punch waved at them. But in front of the stage, directly across from it, was a statue. A solid gold statue of Dan.

There were statues all throughout Ponyville. There hadn't been any there when Dan and Phoenix had run through just a few hours ago, but in the vision there were. Groups of ponies stopped to see the statues, all of them in solid gold. Gust Grasp, Blueblood, Trixie, all sorts of griffons, ponies, crystal ponies and zebras... everyone. They were constructing them.

One statue depicted Dan pulling a red Sword Spell-shaped thorn out of a giant filly's hoof. Words engraved underneath the statue read: Dan Tames the Steel Giant. The "Steel Giant" was obviously Magic Gear Knight, the Sword Spell somehow representing a thorn in a massive lion's paw.

Another statue showed Dan standing on a cannon, sword drawn and swashbuckling with a statue of Gust Grasp who was kneeling before him. The title of it was: Dan Earns the Respect of The Pirate King.

High in Cloudsdale, a statue of Commander Hurricane was moved out of the central hub. A new statue, one of Dan pulling a pegasus out of a swirling vortex storm was put in its place by the pegasi, including Captain Springer, Derpy and Rainbow Dash. Instead of Aegis Semper Caelum emblazoned on the side, it read the words: Dan Saves the Pegasi from the Storm. The "storm" had been the Enclave. It represented Dan saving the pegasi from themselves, the storm they had created.

Close to the edge of town was a larger statue. It showed Dan dressed as a minuteman tapping on a drum with drumsticks that oddly resembled spears, on a drum that was styled like one of Zen Zeal's shields. The title read: Dan Leads the Lost Tribes Back Home. Behind the golden statue of Dan were smaller statues of zebras and hippies and even aliens.

A final statue was placed in the center of town. Like the rest of them, it had been made from gold that Blueblood had constructed his poorly-made buildings with during his brief rule. This final monument was a centerpiece to the entire town, a figure of Dan with balled fists shouting up at the sky. It had a longer engraving at the bottom:

He who has room for both hatred and love must truly have the biggest heart of all. Through righteousness and malice, we follow in his footsteps, protected by his love, his hate and his fury. Though he is not of us, we follow in his path, that we may know true harmony. Our hero, who does the impossible for us simply because we asked, and because he can. Noblest always, friend of Equestria, our neighborhood jerk, Dan.

"Did... you didn't ask them to build statues of you, did you?" Phoenix asked. "That's... so sweet."

Dan, however, was sobbing. "It's... it's so beautiful. I mean, really this is... this is just way too much," he cried. "They actually like me here! They think I'm awesome! And all the statues were... well, they're kinda of all wrong, about everything but... they're just so beautiful."

Phoenix also teared up. "I think, I think the intent is more symbolic."

"THEY LOVE ME!" Dan exclaimed. "They love me like I'm... like I'm their friend! And I hate most of them! AND NOW I CAN'T! AND I HATE THAT!"

The vision changed. The statues were torn down. Flashes zipped by, like images on a screen. The Mayor out in front of Town Hall with a bullhorn, a crowd surrounding her. She shook her head at the statues and one by one, they were removed. Flutterbirds descended to lift them up and out of the city.

It was then Dan and Phoenix realized what they were watching. This was what had happened in Ponyville while they were gone, while they had been fighting in the underground structure. In Phillydelphia, Manehattan, Detrot, Pittsbuck, Trottingham, all throughout Equestria, flags of the kingdom burned. Ponies led riots, hooves upheld like Dan, destroying marble statues of Princess Celestia. A voice echoed:

"-than she ever did!"
"-did more for us than she ever did!"
"Dan did more for us than she ever did!"

"Ahhh!" The vision ended. "Holy crap!"

"Why am I wet?!" Dan yelled.

"We were trying to get your attention, silly!" Chrys said. "We got the communicator to work. We can talk to the sea ponies now."

Dan got up in a huff. "I don't wanna talk to the sea ponies. Right now, I wanna talk to the Mayor."

"And what do you want to talk about, Dan?" Mayor Mare asked him.

Comments

[Booster Spice]

Shes's behind you.

She's behind Everything?:Humpty:

[Dustchu]

Oh boy... this is gonna go craaaaaaaazy places, hehehe... whew, poor Celly statues.

Good show! Good show!

[LadyLeomon]

Hello Mr Author, I am pleased to announce I am early to the party this week (I needed a break from my Fullmetal Alchemist marathon!). Now where was I? Oh yes:

A new chapter means it's ~Sunday~ now lemme see here (dons reading glasses)

Thus it came to pass that thanks to the efforts of Dan and his armada of Tanks, peace was restored (temporarily I suspect) to Ponyville! will we hear about the amazing exploits of the heroic Tank-a-Tank in particular? Haha sorry! I saw you called the tank drivers 'Tankers' in the last chapter and that made me think of one of my family's kittens: Tank. We call him Tanker as a nickname (I also call him Tank-a-Tank) moving on:

Where's Fluffle?! She better not have gotten herself kidnapped or so help me heads will roll faster than Whitney's Miltank on Turn 5 of its Rollout Attack!!! ... Oh phew, she's okay

Cool! It's nice to see Dan is being merciful to the Sea Ponies and- ... ~Kawaii~ Fluffle in Swimming Pool Funtime Adorableness

Oh darn, why'd they have to ruin Adorable Funtime with all this serious talk? Okay fine, finding the traitor is important I suppose ... What-what-WHAT?! They think Mayor Mare is the backstabba?! ... I guess even Mayora could have their limits ... but I'm sure she had a good reason! She loves Ponyville too much! Right? Okay I'm confused now ... gonna wait for the big unveil

Now for my favourite quotes:

Phew, that's everything I loved (most) about this week's chapter! Like always thank you for my weekly dose of Dan-sanity, I'm feeling really run down this week so this cheered me right up (In the meantime back to my Pokémon US/UM, I'mma catch me a pretty p Salandit and a sturdy Mudsdale)!

Awesome as always Dan-tastic Author and I'll see you ~next time~

Your Eternal Fan ^_^

P.S I'll fill in my fav quotes in a short while, thank you for your patience!

[Barrobroadcaster]

8727330
Looking forward to reading them, sweetheart! You stay safe and I'm delighted as always you enjoyed it. Honestly, the character juggling makes all these transitions difficult, but I'm enjoying the challenge.

[The REAL Mister Pkmn]

He who has room for both hatred and love must truly have the biggest heart of all. Through righteousness and malice, we follow in his footsteps, protected by his love, his hate and his fury. Though he is not of us, we follow in his path, that we may know true harmony. Our hero, who does the impossible for us simply because we asked, and because he can. Noblest always, friend of Equestria, our neighborhood jerk, Dan.

This was beautiful.

Also, now you've got me thinking that the Mayor's a bad guy... Hmmm...

[howard035]

Feels like the movie Gladiator. Dan has grown too popular with the masses, he must be cut down...

[Razzy]

That mayor's a spy!