Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1)

by Barrobroadcaster

Operation Sucker Punch: Came Outta Nowhere

"D-Daring D-Do?" Twilight stuttered. "THE Daring D-Do?"

"Haha, I don't imagine I know of another, Miss Twilight," Tuxley responded.

"Daring Do! The REAL Daring Do!" Dan exclaimed. "We get to meet her!"

"I know!" Twilight agreed, just as ecstatic. The two grabbed each other and began singing, "We get to meet Daring Do! We get to meet Daring Do! We get to meet Daring-"

Another vehicle drove up, its tires grinded in the dirt and interrupted their merriment. It was a box-shaped buggy of some sort, like a miniature bus with doors in the middle of the side. They opened, more like hatches than doors and outstepped a pair of purple dogs. Behind them, a third dog, this one much larger and wearing a cream-colored three-piece suit and hat exited.

Dan looked at the three of them with a mixture of contempt and disdain. "You're NOT Daring Do," he said, his voice not hiding his disappointment or chagrin.

"Heheh, no I don't suppose I am," the larger dog said. The other two took positions at his side, brandishing some kind of Tommy Gun-looking devices. The fat canine adjusted his hat in the wind and cast a smile in Dan and Twilight's direction. "Please, allow me to introduce myselves. I'm Reed Roamer."

President, Equestrian Union of Laborers and Craftsmen
Reed "Big Rover" Roamer
Don of the Equestrian Mafia

Dan's jas dropped. He pointed at the large dog. "You're… you're Big Rover!"

The two dogs at either side immediately pointed their guns at both of them. "Come again?"

Twilight stuffed a hoof in Dan's cheek to shush. "Dan! SHHHHHTTTIIII-hi, uh-um, what he means is, you're… a big guest here! Yes, we're um, we're so honored to have you visit us in Ponyville."

"Ahh," the dog smiled. He gave Twilight a tip of his hat's brim. "I do appreciate da kind consideration. I and my fellow business associates would be most remiss if dere was any unpleasant exchanges during our visit here."

"Yeah-he-hyeah," the dog-crony to his right said. "We'd be forced to make a little unpleasant exchange of our own, if ya catch my drift."

The heftier dog rubbed his paw on the smaller one's head. "What did I tells ya about keepin' your mouth shut, Cliff?"

"Geez, boss, I'm sorry, I- EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" Reed yanked the smaller dog up by his collar, letting him hang and whimper for a second before plopping him back on the ground.

Tuxley turned to Twilight and Dan. "You know of this fellow?"

"Not personally," Twilight said.

"He's gotta be Big Rover," Dan whispered. "The gangster from Daring Do and the Mask of Masquerade Mountain! He looks just like the description in the book!"

Twilight nodded. "Book three in the series. And he's also in Daring Do and the Cache of Castaway Canyon."

Dan turned to her. "I haven't read that one yet."

"Ooooh, it's really good. I have a copy of it in the study."

The many fans of Daring Do's novels knew that they were based on true stories. Few actually realized that they were, in fact, true stories. Every detail of the thrilling series was real, just a few of the names had been changed to avoid libeling the subjects. Unfortunately, they still very much accurately described the events Daring had with these individuals in great detail. Anypony who read Daring's books was well aware of the notorious crime boss Big Rover and his dealings in the Equestrian underworld. It didn't take a careful study to realize that Big Rover and Reed Roamer were one in the same.

On the surface, Reed Roamer was a well-respected and legitimate labor representative, an advocate for worker's rights and a defender of the middle and lower classes. He also was the president of the Roamer Travel Agency, a business that provided transportation. In reality, he was a criminal kingpin and responsible for the vast majority of organized theft and black market operations in Equestria. His low-grade transportation company concealed his smuggling activities, his position as a union boss provided a cover. Representing workers allowed him to pin the blame on any number of willful, uneducated lackeys who were often caught. He portrayed himself as the caring mentor figure who tried to help poor innocents find work and was sometimes the victim of his own generosity and kindness.

This changed when Daring Do published her first book involving him- Daring Do and the Mask of Masquerade Mountain. Shortly after its release, Reed Roamer's business was cracked down on heavily by authorities. While Roamer himself had never been successfully charged with anything, it damaged the legitimate face he had. Arguably, the book was more effective than the attempts at prosecution; other crooks became reluctant to deal with him, contacts dried up, organized crime ground to a halt. Equestria's black market had been crashed by a book.

After he was done chastising his subordinate, the fat crime boss turned his attention back to the rest of the group. "So, am I to assume that yous guys is also waitin' for our mutual friend, Daring Do?"

Dan and Twilight exchanged brief, almost telepathic glance. "Noooooo…" they lied simultaneously.

"Oh, is that so?" Reed remarked, smiling maliciously. "You just happens to be chit-chattin' about lil 'miss double-ds when me and my partners here rolled up in the joint?"

"We're fans," Dan replied.

"Mm-hmm," Twilight nodded. "We were just talking about her books. You may know of them…" she said, trailing off in a knowing voice.

Reed's smile did not diminish. "I believe I do. Ahhhhh," he sighed, throwing his paws up. "Well, I apologize for the confusion. My boys and I will now be on our way," he turned around to his car, placed a paw on the door. "But, wait a minute. Who's dis with you?" He turned back slowly and gestured to Tuxley. "Ain't you the curator of Daring's museum in the CE?"

"Meep."

"Well, well, well, the favorite fossil decided to take a little vacation, huh?"

"Fossil?!" The T-rex gasped, "Good gracious, sir, were I a lesser-developed reptile, I would be offended by such a term."

The mobster snapped his digits and the two henchmen leveled their rifles at them. Twilight's wings instinctively deployed, Reginald and Tuxley raised their forelegs/arms.

"Offended?" Reed asked. "Well, maybe you'll find it a little more offensive when we turn your car into-"

"Back off, Roamer!"

"What?" the dog paused, looked around. They all did the same and that's when Daring Do landed between them.

"The REAL Daring Do!!" Dan and Twilight exclaimed.

"Ohmygosh!"

"Omaigosh"

"Ohmygosh!"

"Omaigosh!"

"Ohmy GOOOOSSSHH!!"

"I say, Miss Do!" Tuxley waved. "It sure is good to see you, ma'am."

"Saw you guys having trouble, thought I'd drop in," Daring said. The pith helmeted mare stood defiantly between the dogs and Twilight's group, a steadfast show of defense.

"Heheheh, always a pleasure ta see ya, Deedee," Roamer said, paws holding his suit now. The two henchdogs aimed at her instead of the group behind her. Two Tommy Guns stared at her, steady as a rock. "Me and da boys here was just gettin' acquainted with your friends. Nice bunch."

"They're not my friends, Roamer," Daring responded, cold and aggressive. "I don't even know these… guys. Why did you come here, anyway? You're not the type to sightsee."

The fat mobster shrugged. "You made it kinda hard for me to go anywhere, doll-face. But, when I heard dat da griffons' pirate fleet got sunk in dis quaint little burg, I thought it was the perfect opportunity for a little treasure huntin'. Turns out, your pet lizard here had the same idea. Your name just happened to have come up when I and da boys arrived and I figured, what better time to say hello while I'm in town?"

Daring shook her head. "This isn't Rogueport, Roamer. The Pianta Syndicate's not going to fall for your act twice and bail you out when you piss someone off."

"Just… wow," Dan said.

"I know, right?" Twilight agreed. "This is just like one of Daring's novels!"

Dan's eyes went wide. "This could BE one of Daring's novels!!"

They both turned and looked in each others' brightly-lit eyes. "WE COULD BE IN THE NEXT DARING DO NOVEL!!"

Tuxley, on the other hand, had produced a handkerchief from his vest pocket and was wiping the perspiration from his face. "If we survive this encounter, that is. Reginald?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Turn on the car's air conditioning, please."

"Excellent idea, sir."

Reed scoffed. "Frankie and Francesca got bigger things to worry about than me, doll-face. But since we're reminiscin' about da good 'ole days and whatnot, why don't you dust off a classic and hand over the book right now?"

"Book? What book?" Daring asked.

The dog frowned, his tone finally shifting. "The book, Doozy. The Arcane Apology that's the key to all the summoning magic and stuffs that's been going on lately."

Twilight's eyes lit up again. "The Arcane Apology?"

"Shh!" Daring shushed her.

"Ah ha," Reed caught them. "So you do know what I'm talking about." His henchhounds disengaged the safeties on their weapons with an audible click. "So, here's how this can go down: you can either give up da book da easy way and me and me pals can go on our merry way, never returning to dis neck'a da woodz ever again. Or we can take it from ya and the next time your name will be published is in the obituaries," he said, staring daggers at the mare. "Whatcha gonna do, Daring?"

The famed archaeologist knew when she was beaten. Her head lowered in defeat. Herself, she could protect against Reed Roamer and his goons no matter the situation. But others, when innocents were involved, she had to put their safety before her own. She could not let people get hurt because of her and Reed's vendetta. There was only one thing she could do. "Fine, Roamer. Fine. You win."

Behind her, Twilight's, Dan's, even Tuxley's jaw hit the floor. Reginald looked up from the paper he was reading and then he, too, gasped and dropped his jaw.

"Hahaha," the dog chuckled. "I thought you'd see it my way."

She nodded. "I don't have it on me but I know who does. Just let me get it for you," Daring said, turning around. She walked over to Twilight and Dan, who were still awestruck. Tuxley covered his face in the handkerchief to hide his expression. He quickly entered the DeLorean and closed the door, simply overcome.

Daring walked up to Twilight and Dan and put her hooves on both their shoulders. "Nightshade's told me a lot about you guys. It's nice to finally meet you. I'm sorry it couldn't be under better circumstances."

"Yeah… me, too," Dan said.

"Me too," Twilight added. They both sounded utterly distraught, staring almost through the ground at her hooves.

Daring looked at both of them. "I'm sorry for this, too."

They looked up at her. "Sorry for what?"

"This." Without warning, she grabbed both Twilight and Dan and with surprising strength, through them into the eight-passenger DeLorean. She then dove into the car and on top of them and shouted, "DRIVE!!"

"LIGHT 'EM UP!!"

Gunshots rang out. Bullets pelted the stainless-steel doors of the vintage 80s vehicle and Reginald slammed on the gas. The DeLorean launched forward, kicking up a cloud of dirt and speeding right by Reed and his cronies. Cliff had to jump out of the way to avoid the path of the car as it swiped the leading edge of their own vehicle.

"Gaahh!!" Reed growled. "After 'em!!"

Comments

[ShogunWriter106]

*Blows a razzberry at Big Roamer*

[Booster Spice]

I say old chap, is that bridge over Galloping Gorge completed yet?

If almost, why not say we take the old bus for a test drive, I think as long as we stay above about 80 mph we should be ok.

[HB_DS2013]

Too bad Rainbow Dash isn't here to see this.

[Razzy]

Dan daaaaaaan dam daaaaaaaaaaan Dan Dan daaaaaaaaaaaaaaam daaaan daaaan daaaaaaaaaaan!

[LadyLeomon]

I say Barro good chum, Dan's in quite the predicament this week, isn't he?

I do apologise for this ... HAHAHAHA! No idea why but when I read the villain's name I pictured Red Rover as a mob boss :D

So Daring saved my favourite Jerk and purple princess ... wait, what happened to Chrysalis and friends during this shootout? I doubt she'd take these chumps messing with her man! Also I have this mental image of Flufflepuff absorbing the bullets and sending them right back before lighting up a bubblegum cigar, hehe :p

Thanks for making my sure my Sundays (the day I read them every week) start off with a smile I know the Episode title so I'm looking forward to the titular showdown even if Dan is a fan of the 2D pony. Laters

[Tyrannosaurus_Tux]

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/565/560/aeb.png

Strange. Jurassic Park logic need not apply here.

Unless the murder is about to begin, that is.

[Barrobroadcaster]

7386264 I'm afraid I don't understand.

[Tyrannosaurus_Tux]

7387724

Well, Jurassic Park logic is as follows: There is a dinosaur. If it is herbivore, don't worry. If it is a carnivore, run.

Because Tuxie-boy is a carnivore who isn't currently murdering anyone, Jurassic Park logic does not apply. Unless it is about to apply, like some sort of vampiric predatory relapse...I don't know.

[Barrobroadcaster]

7387885 Well, he did explain that "Saurs" are vegetarians by nature nowadays. I've designed the dinosaurs in Equestria as a contemporary counterpart to dragons. Dragons in Equestria are largely uncivilized, with a few exceptions. It's going to be written that the dinosaurs are more civilized reptiles.

Right now, the dragons mostly roost in a volcanic island chain off the west coast of Equestria called the Dragon Domain, farther west than Appleloosa. The dinosaurs or "Saurs"(they prefer not using the dino because it means terrible) live in a new area called the Saur Domain(yes Dino Domain sounds better but they are more respectable than to use a name just because it sounds better) that is located somewhere near it, most likely on the coast itself or near the badlands. The Saurs like Tuxley prize sophistication and sensibility over their more savage counterparts, the dragons. The Saur Domain is a very wealthy, diverse and artistic community composed of many species of reptiles from the Jurassic to the late Cretaceous period that have built a society similar to ancient Greece with influence also from modern-day Germany and the United States.

[Tyrannosaurus_Tux]

7387980

I see. However, there is still a question of biology, or how a carnivore can get by... without eating the thing that his ancestors took millions of years adapted to specifically eat.

[Barrobroadcaster]

7388094 Well, Chrys no longer feeds on love and Dan's not lactose-intolerant any more so things can change.

[Tyrannosaurus_Tux]

7388850

It's like saying a man should be able to eat grass, or glass.

[JakeAndDollars]

Double D's...

Warning: critical systems failure: your Dollars is not responding: Windows 95 is searching for a solution to the problem: solution not found:

A fatal error has occurred in primary laughter functions under protocol: er mer gerd! Mer serds!

Data corrupted: files not found: system not responding:

Press any key to continue...

~Dollars OS.

[Dustchu]

7378636

I say old chap, is that bridge over Galloping Gorge completed yet?

Not gonna lie, sounds like a Last Stand reference.

To Barro.
Damn good show man, damn good show! Tis awesome sauce to see Daring Do pop into this awesome tale of awesomery~ Hehehe, I knew Daring was gonna do something epic saucy~

Also, props for the Paper Mario reference I loved that~

Keep it up!

[CarolMAssphault]

Dan just...stood there like an idiot...no aggressiveness...nothing...oh dear lord, what's happening to him?! His badassery...