"It's going to be okay, Firedancer," Nick said to him. "Just be honest and you'll be fine."
"And be detailed," Dan added. "Like, overly, extraneously detailed."
Firedancer swallowed. "I'll d-do my best." He hopped down from the defense bench nervously. His hoof steps echoed off the tile floor, each step breaking the silence as he approached the witness's stand. He swallowed again and stood on his hind legs as he took the podium.
"Mr. Firedancer," Payne began, "for the courtroom, please explain your current occupation."
"Uhā¦" the witness stallion rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm a security guard. I think. But it's, like, secret or something. Soā¦" he struggled to think. Vice Grip had never really told him what his job was. He told him to do things a lot and gave him some kind of medication to take butā¦ he didn't really have a position. Or did he? But he knew somepony he could ask. "Hey, Lightning?"
"Yeah?"
The judge banged his gavel once before Firedancer could ask his question. "Excuse me! You are testifying in open court, Mr. Firedancer! You cannot address members of the defense or the jury during your testimonial or you threaten to damage your credibility in this case!"
Firedancer raised his hoof. "So, we're not allowed to talk to anypony else?"
"No, you're not!" the judge exclaimed.
Firedancer pointed to the defense. "But Dan's ordering a pizza."
"Yes, that's two large Beet Lover's with onions, mushrooms and hay bacon-"
"Can I get mine with extra crystal?" Spike asked.
"And pineapple if possible," Sombra added.
"Can we get crystal on half?" Dan asked into his cell phone.
"And pineapple."
"And pineapple?"
Phoenix slowly turned around. "You're doing this now? NOW?" he asked through gritted teeth.
Dan cupped the phone's receiver. "Did you want us to order you something?"
The lawyer's eyes almost bulged. "The judge is about to order us out of the courtroom! Do you knuckleheads seriously not-"
The judge's gavel banged three times. "Mr. Wright!!"
Nick spun on his heels, heart in his throat. "Y-yes your honor?"
"Would you like to split a large Beet Lover's pizza with me?"
"Iā¦" Nick felt his heart skip a beat. "Iā¦ s-sure. But I, uh, I actually don't care much for beets on pizza."
"Ah," the judge said, nodding the way he does in the game. "Mr. Dan!!" he then bellowed.
"Yes?"
"Order Mr. Wright's half without beets!"
Dan made the OK gesture with his free hand. "We got it."
Writhe N. Payne raised his hoof. "The prosecution would like-"
"The prosecution is ordered to proceed with the testimony if its witness!" the judge said loudly.
Payne swallowed hard. "I-I think I just lost my appetite anywayā¦ umā¦ Firedancer?"
"Yes? OH YEAH!" Firedancer realized he was supposed to be giving his testimonial. "Hey Lightning, what do we do again?"
"Well, we wait thirty minutes and if the guy shows up late then-"
"No, not the pizzas, like, what are our jobs?"
"Oh," Lightning said, nodding. "We're security guards."
"I already said that," Firedancer said back.
"So why did you ask?"
Firedancer scratched his head. "I thought we were more than thatā¦" His neck started to feel warm, almost burning. "Is it starting to feel warm here to anypony else?"
"Sure is," Writhe N. Payne said. The prosecutor was sweating, though it wasn't related to anything with Firedancer. "Per-perhaps we should just indicate to the court you are a security guard f-for Future Integrations Stable-Tec."
"All right," Firedancer said. "Why couldn't you have told them that?" There was an odd sharpness in his voice.
Payne wiped his face, ignoring the question. "Please, for the courtroom, explain the events you witnessed between seven o'clock and the time the mall closed of the night in question."
Firedancer rolled his eyes. "Fine."
Witness Testimony
"It was a bit after seven, actually. I was on my way to get some dinner in the food court after finishing up my patrol. I took the elevator down to the first floor again and when the doors opened, I saw all these bits of crystal on the ground. I looked up and saw King Sombra right in front of the entrance to the mall and the Crystal Heart was broken right in front of him."
Payne grinned. "The culprit, so overcome with guilt, couldn't bare to move from the seen of the crime. Not only that, your honor," he approached the bench, "it just so happens that the elevator Firedancer used also had its own security camera! As the doors opened, it took this picture!"
[Security Photo added to the Court Record.]
The judge's eyes went wide. "Thisā¦ uhā¦"
Even Phoenix rose an eyebrow at the evidence. (The whole things in a silhouette. There's no way to make out what any thing is in the frame.)
"Erhem," Payne cleared his throat, "while there was a bit of glare on the lens when the photo was taken, you can clearly see the perpetrator, the defendant Sombra, by the shape of his shadow in the picture!"
The judge looked at the photo carefully. "Iā¦ guess it does resemble the defendant." The picture clearly wasn't of the best quality but it did show pony like figure standing in front of the pedestal where the Crystal Heart had been held. Two columns, equally silhouetted, were at the edges of the shot. It was hard to tell if they were the edges of the elevator doors or possibly the other of the six elevator shafts that ran up to the ceiling.
"With this picture and the witness' testimony, we can clearly identify that Sombra was indeed the pony that destroyed the Crystal Heart!" Payne announced.
A clamorous outcry rang through the jury. They murmured amongst themselves, processing the evidence like a mainframe of justice. The judge banged his gavel, silencing them.
"Err, based on the time this picture was taken, it does seem to indicate that Sombra is guilty of shattering the ponies' artifact," the judge said.
"It does indeed, your honor," Payne said, grinning wider. "The prosecution asserts that the defendant in question is guilty of property destruction, unlawful trespassing, breaking and entering, and attempted genocide of the Crystal Empire itself! His presence alone proves that he's guilty! His motive was revenge and he stormed into the Heartview Mall while it was closed, thinking it was his perfect opportunity to do so and take revenge for being overthrown two years ago!"
"Mr. Payne," the judge said sternly.
"Yes, Santa?" Payne asked, practically foaming at the mouth.
"Dear heavens, you're a creepy bloke."
"Wut."
The judge cleared his throat. "At any rate, do try to contain yourself during these proceedings."
"Iā¦ apologize, your honor," Payne said, returning to his desk. "The prosecution rests."
"Very well," the judge said. "As the defense has already plead guilty during the hearing, I'm afraid I'm ready to make my judgment unless the defense is able to uncover anything."
(This is it. Our only shot at this.) "The defense intends to do just that, your honor."
"I have no doubt, Mr. Wright. You may begin with your cross examination."
"HOLD IT!" Dan shouted, almost like Phoenix himself.
The court was stunned for a moment as eyes turned to the defense's aide. "Yes, Mr. Dan?" the judge asked. "What is it?"
"Pizza's here."
ACME Pizza delivery, for when it positively absolutely has to be there before you put the phone down.
Due to popular demand, and imminant invasion threats, the Dwarf Bread Deep Cut Crust offer has been extended for another week.
Please Maim Responsibly.
Another swell done chapter, awesome job dude, hehehe
This was funny, and awesome! Nice going.
Ahhh I would love to help with that Patreon thing, but the most I can do is make journals and tweet about it.
Dx can't donate ;v; I'm more broke then Cubone.
Keep it up!
And I wish you and your friend luck!
6418618 One step at a time, my friend. You just being here is enough. I'm happy as always that you enjoyed my writing. Yeah, Dan Vs. will be free, patreon or no and one day will be animated if I have to pay for each frame. That one Rainbow Dash presents guy paid for his own animated videos, if the rumor is true, so it is possible. We'll get there eventually.
Anyway, I'm hoping to wrap this episode up soon. It's going to be action-packed after the courtroom sheDanigans. And after that, an easy to write episode that will be weird but interested and most likely will throw a few of the uninitiated for a loop.
6418652
Baby steps, baby steps. I'm glad my presence is enough, most people don't like it 8'D And how can I not enjoy it? Loved it when I first got into it, what... couple of months ago? And I will continue to enjoy it. Good lordy lordy, seeing this entire fiction animated would be flat out, amazing to no end. Can't wait to see that, hehe.
Orly now? This will be interesting to see, hehehe. I can't help but wonder what, but I'm sure we will all find out eventually.
This Episode has been hecka funny, and I'm getting anxious about Cryssy and the others Dx
Keep it up brosef!
Yay, Pizza! No, Patreon!
Down with Patreon!
So, is this going anywhere? This court case?
6419505 Ey, be nice to the Patreon. It might help me get this animated one day. Seriously, unless one of my works becomes mega famous over night or I find someone to work for free, it might be the only way to get other projects started. Making a Patreon was actually the artist's idea and since he's making the comic for free, I owe him that much to support him. This might be something good for him and he needs the support.
And of course the case is going somewhere. It went to lunch just now but it'll be back with the cross examination next time. And hopefully the conclusion.
Nothing is more important than pizza! Can someone order me a pie with extra mushrooms? Thanks boys ^_^
I'm glad they're taking this seriously.