Epilogue: Know They Did1,309 words

Final: How To Make Somebody Care

Meanwhile...
Horseshoe Shores, South-Eastern Equestria

"Ahhh." Dan stretched and put his hands behind his head. The sun was shining, there wasn't a cloud in the sky and the drinks were free. Perks of being a celebrity, a noble and an all-around hero of Equestria.

Actually, the drinks and service were on the tab of the royal family's treasury, to which he was now tied. Dan was not the first hero Equestria had and although the first one might've been free, the rest were on his tab. Not that he or the rest of the royal family minded either way. Right now, he was just enjoying himself on the beach, on a lounge chair in the shade of the palm trees. The water was a beautiful blue and the temperature was warm and pleasant.

Life was good. He was completely alone.

Dan tipped down his shades and relaxed.

"Your friends are-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!" Dan nearly fell out of his chair. Then, he fell out of his chair.

He scrambled quickly upright again and wiped the sand off his shirt. "What? What is it? Who is it? Who and what is disturbing me and why?"

Rals stood in front of him, hands behind his back. "My apologies. Your friends are in danger."

"You," Dan said. "You. You..." He'd wanted to strangle the strange, green-clad 'negotiator' ever since he'd seen him. Well, maybe not immediately, but definitely now. Definitely since the moon. And now, that he had him in front of him, all he could manage was, "You..."

"I can take you to them."

Dan glared at him. Rals' helmet made his face imperceptible, even more so than Kent. Part space helmet, it was like staring into the void looking at him. Might as well have been another way of talking to a wall. Dan thought about saying nothing, just to annoy him, but instead sat right back down and put his hands behind his head.

"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you."

Rals paused for a moment. Did something Dan said actually phase him? "What I want isn't important. What matters is your friends. You can help them. They need you."

Letting his shades slip down his nose, Dan peered up at him. "No, they don't. And why don't you go help? I'm sure you'd be much more... helpful."

"The most helpful thing I can do is return you to them."

Rock and a hard place. Dan was getting annoyed. "And why do you care anyway? About me, about what I think. I thought everything was supposed to be peaceful now, isn't that what you said on the moon? Isn't that why you didn't let me just splatter Vice Grip right then and there?"

"The past is the pa-"

"No," Dan sat up. He hated that phrase, pointed right back at the one who said it. "No, it's not. If the past was just the past, it wouldn't keep coming back to haunt us. You don't know how to deal with it, how to reconcile it or how to act on it, that's why you say something so asinine as 'the past is the past.' It's not. That saying is just a way to sweep things under the rug."

Rals walked forward, hands still behind his back. "You'd say you were adept at dealing with such problems, correct?"

"I get the job done, if that's what you mean."

"And Vice Grip is one such job. Would it not be prudent for you to intervene, to use the best man for the job?"

Dan shot him a snarl. "I know what you're trying to do. You can stick your little psychological ploy where the sun doesn't shine. Also, you're blocking my sun. Buzz off."

The green knight sighed and nodded. "I'll leave you to your sun, then. You truly believe your friends will be okay without you?"

He leaned forward. "This will be good for them. Also, I knew you wouldn't try to stop them the way you stopped me. Should've guessed you'd show up to bother me again, though, but at least I planned for that. Didn't tell anyone where I was going and you still found me, so that's a lesson learned."

"You're very perceptive. And clever."

"Like I said, I get the job done. Doesn't take a genius to figure someone out."

Rals nodded. "Indeed. You're still upset about what we negotiated on the moon."

"Well, aren't you 'very perceptive' yourself. Can't seem to take a hint that I don't want you here."

Rals moved to Dan's front as he lounged. "Forgiveness is a difficult concept. For-"

"And some people don't deserve it," Dan said. He leaned forward again. "I'm not some superhero or some... Jedi-guy, like you. Got it? I would've killed him and it would've solved a lot of problems. I'm a man who cuts through the complications and gets to the simple, the basics. We would not have this problem, our world would have one less threat, my FRIENDS WOULD NOT BE IN DANGER IF YOU HAD LET ME JUST SHOOT THE BASTARD. Guy wanted to die anyway. So you screwed up everything for everyone. Great job, green bean."

"It was necess-"

Dan shot up once again, this time fully enraged. "NO IT WASN'T. If you're gonna do something, then do it, but if you just came here to talk, you can get lost, Space Luigi! Now, move along!"

To his credit, Rals actually did what Dan said. He turned and began walking away. "There's just one last thing."

Dan sighed heavily, tilted his head back and asked, "What?"

"They took Chrys."

Dan's sunglasses fell off. He was on his feet before they hit the sand.

Ponyville Action News Team Station, Ponyville
Barro's office

"I make my livin' off Saturday cartoons. Just give me somethin', somethin' I can use. People might still pick and choose, but they love Pony Fanfics."

"Don Henley? Really? I thought-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!" Barro nearly fell out of his chair. Then, he fell out of his chair. "What? What, what is it? Who is it, and what do you wa-" He looked up at Dan. "Oh great."

"Heyyyyy Barro."

"How in the hell do you keep getting in here?! What do I pay security for?"

Dan shrugged. "I have that same problem, actually. It's like, why do I even have a security system if people can just walk in unannounced? Especially people I don't want being there."

Barro looked at Dan, once again across his desk. "What is it NOW, Dan? What do you want? And..." He squinted his eyes, thinking. "Wait, why aren't you with Twilight and the others?"

"Why aren't YOU with Twilight and the others?" Dan countered. "Couldn't you use your gunship to help out? Or possibly film the huge fight that's going to happen? Or both at the same time?"

"How do you know there's a huge fight going to happen?"

"Because YOU'RE the one writing this story."

Barro rolled his eyes. "I've barely even started the second... I guess I'm going to call them 'episodes' now. Whatever happened to that book Twilight found?"

Dan shrugged again. "I dunno. Got lost somewhere, maybe. Listen, I need your help."

"Of course you do. You wouldn't be here if you didn't. But I'm not in a position to give it."

"And why is that?" Dan scooted forward in his chair, scraping it annoyingly on the floor. "Again, why aren't you with your flying circus helping out? They could probably use air support."

Barro stood up, put the book he was reading back. On the cover was the title: ANTHROPOLOGY. "Considering how close the two armies are to each other, close air support is likely to be... difficult. My guys wouldn't be able to hit the enemy forces without hitting the royalist forces at the same time."

"Hmmm," Dan nodded. "Okay, okay, then why not at least film it?"

Barro pointed to the studio. "I have a live feed recording everything from a safe distance."

"And you're not watching it? Or filming it yourself?"

"I know what wars look like already, Dan. I don't need to watch this one. Also, honestly this..." He braced against the desk. "You really should be with them, you know? The fate of Equestria is being decided. Whatever outcome of this battle... the world's not going to be the same place after this."

Dan folded his arms. "Aren't you just going to cut and run if you don't like said outcome?"

Barro sighed again. After a moment he said, "No. No, I've built too much here to just let it all go to waste. I suppose like you, I'm... I'm being as helpful as I can be by not getting involved. It's not easy for me, either."

Nodding, Dan pretended to agree. Maybe Barro was even right, but it wasn't something Dan had really considered. It wasn't like he was purposefully avoiding the conflict, he was just staying out of it. Equestria needed to learn to fight its own battles, handle its own problems. They may not fully have the stomach to execute Vice Grip, but that was what Kent was for; he'd do the job nobody else could. So, at least one of the space samurai was there for a reason. Permanent removal of hostilities.

Again, it would be good for Twilight and all of them if they fought this battle without his help. They would at least arrest Vice Grip and Kent would deal with him later. Or possibly Nicky. Dan had trained him well.

But there was something Dan did need to do himself. For that, he needed Barro.

"Alright, you don't have to fight. I just need your help. I need a lift."

"A lift? You want me to fly you to the battle?"

"Not exactly," Dan said. "More like... around it. Or possibly over it. Past it."

Still with his hooves on his desk, Barro was beginning to understand. "Prosperity Mountain. Alright, I can get you there."

"Awesome. Also... thank you. When you write this part, you did it voluntarily and were very grateful for the opportunity just to help me. Right?"

"Sure, sure. Probably take me a few years just to get to this point." Barro picked up his phone. "Hey, it's Barro. How've you been?"

"Who are you calling?" Dan asked.

Barro grinned as he held the phone. "Can you get Ozzy Osbarn for me, please?"

"Oh, you son of a-"

The door to Barro's office swung open. And in walked Ozzy Osbarn. "Barro!"

"Ozzy!"

"Owsit been treatin' ya, eh? Too rife wif all da racket for me and da missus, I tells yoo. Fittin mad times these be."

"Eh, can't complain."

"How in the hell can you understand that?" Dan asked.

"Anyway, Ozzy, I need a favor from you. Danny boy here needs a lift."

"O, dozee now? Off ta mess wif an some git wot need a good 'n propa bowlie gaggin'? Shiftin' some knockers in tha out 'in about, eh?"

Dan stared up at the griffon in bewilderment. "Is... is he drunk?"

"We're gonna need your train."

"The fowlie pracious boy wif do new linens or da one wif near 'alf a tram for de 'ounge boxes and the pool table?"

"No, the OTHER one," Barro said, twinkle in his eye.

Ozzy smiled. "Ahhhh. Good choice, me mate."

"Can I talk to the green guy again please?"

Dan's request for help would be granted, very much against his own will.

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