Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1)

by Barrobroadcaster

Final: Countdown

"I feel like this isn't safe," Dan said. "The first time, it wasn't safe and THIS TIME, less safe."

"You want fast and you want not to get shot," Barro said. "This will accomplish that."

Ozzy's train was parked in front of them, its rockets deployed once again. It had been so long since they'd been in it, so long since Samuel had tried to throw them off the rails that he'd almost forgotten the painful experience of being on it the last time. Almost, but not quite.

"I'ssa safe'es 'uggin traka a wheels 'ere come outta da Stone, mate. Nuthin' be smoover toppin' those shiny girders than ole' mumsy. Loik a roit babe'll yol be, dessin? Smooves ride you eva 'ad. No even gonna ticket ya!"

Dan looked at the griffon, then turned to Barro. "...What?"

Translation: It's the safest hugging track of wheels ever to come out of Griffonstone. Nothing is smother on the top of the rails. You'll be like a baby in mom's arms, smoothest ride you ever had, no ticket needed.

"He says you'll be fine," Barro replied.

"That's very reassuring," Dan nodded sarcastically. "Why don't you both come with me since it'll be such a safe and fun little trip?" He turned to Barro, gestured over his shoulder and continued. "You know, they could really use you. And your flying circus. You and Michael could film the whole thing, shoot stuff with your Galaga space fighters."

Barro smirked. He chose not to correct Dan; would've been pointless anyway. "Dan, this is your fight." He put his foreleg around Dan's shoulders and ushered him towards the train. "You've got to face this yourself. Besides, someone has to stay here and watch Ponyville."

"Discord. Discord can."

"Sure, but what if something happens here? What if some random bad guy decides to attack Ponyville, goes after the library?"

"Discord is literally right in the mayor's office," Dan continued while Barro gently pushed him. "And we have Fluttershy's animals. Nobody's going to squee with a bear and a guy with chaos powers. In fact, you stay here- I'm gonna go get Discord. And bears."

"Da Bears?" Michael asked.

"No, no... no," Dan said. "No. Anyway-"

"Best of luck, Dan!" Barro closed the door.

"WAIT!" Dan shoved his hand in-between the door, stopping it. His knuckles cracked. "I have a question. Questions."

Barro sighed, rolled his eyes. "Can it wait until AFTER the final confrontation where the fate of Equestria is decided?"

"No," Dan said, a bit timidly. "Because... I don't know if I'm going to make it back."

"Heh," Barro laughed, patted him on the shoulder. "Your name's still on the title, pretty sure you're make it back."

"Well," Dan looked to the side. "I just... I wanted to know. Can you just... be real with me for a second?"

Barro sighed again.. "Do I have a choice? Alright, alright, you can ask me something."

"Fourth wall?" Dan asked, nearly pleading.

Eyes rolling, Barro said, "Fine, just hurry it up."

"I know, I know. I'm the one risking my life here, remember? And I appreciate you taking the time and effort for me."

Bracing against the train car, Barro nodded, clearly a bit impatient but still genuine. "Yeah, yeah it's been... something. So, Dan, what is it? What would you like to ask?"

Dan looked around, considered, took a breath and said, "Why me?"

The question was one Barro thought of from time to time. He worked his tongue in his mouth, considering his own response. "I felt like I understood you. Simple as that."

"HA!" Dan laughed in his face. "No one understands me! I DON'T understand me! You're completely clueless, same as everyone else here!"

Barro nodded. "Sure, sure. I guess I thought we were a lot a like. I feel like there's a bit of... well, you characterize a sort-of nature that's in all of us. And you exemplify a desire to express it, even if we can't sometimes."

Then, it was Dan's turn to sigh. "Ahh, you're just like all the others. I just do things, buddy. I'm no more saint than anyone else out there. All this philosophy BS just complicates things. I'm nobody's hero. And I'm nobody's fool. I'm still doing this for me so that I can sleep at night without worrying about some maniac out there that wants to destroy everything I've built."

Barro looked back up at him. "There's going to be others, though. You really think you can take them all?"

Dan paused for a moment. He thought about it, actually stopped and thought about it. "...Yeah. And I won't be alone. Speaking of, you can come with me."

Barro started walking away. "Wouldn't be right. The Director isn't the only one who tried to rewrite history, change the world, Dan. That's why I summoned the 'Galaga ships' and everything. I tried to change things, selfishly, and Rice was able to use that against me. He's good at that."

"He is." Dan was getting frustrated now. "And no, you're not the only one who tried to exploit Equestria's magic. I really don't get you people; I didn't come here by choice! Even though I choose to be here. This place has magic, powers, things unlike anything in ANY other world or version of it, and among all the amazing possibilities and opportunities that being here truly represents, the only thing you do AND THE ONLY WAY you think of reconciling your problems is by playing god. And people think I'm self-destructive because I indulge in calculated revenge. Hypocrites, the whole lot of you."

Barro blinked. "Okay... I'll admit I didn't think of it that way."

"Exactly. You're all idiots and you need to think more. I think a lot, I plan a lot and I get to spend a lot more time doing and less time wondering what could have been, because I DO something about it. Revenge is a great way to deal with regret," Dan stated.

Slowly, Barro turned. "...Alright. Hey, I have a question for you."

Dan rolled his eyes. "Fine, just hurry it up."

"In the beginning, you said you were going to leave."

"It's called bluffing. That was a bluff. Worked, too."

Barro nodded. "You said you wanted more involvement. More interaction? You wanted to be a part of Twilight's life, her friends' lives, her community, the whole world, Equestria and everything?"

"Yes, yes, yes and?"

"Did you get what you wanted?"

"I- obviously," Dan said. Then, stopped, thought, braced himself against the doorway. "Obviously... I... yeah. Yeah, I did." He looked back at Barro, nodded again. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. And thank you, too."

"Oi," Ozzy said, "yol off'in on 'til it's over, innit? Blokes' anna ready up, sen."

Michael smiled and waved at Dan. "I have no idea what this guy said. But he's probably saying you should get going."

"That's right. You've got a train to catch," Barro said.

Perhaps it was an important conversation for both of them to have, even if the two already knew, for the most part, what the other was going to say. Some things needed to be said. Some things had to be done. Wholly independent and without regard and the least amount of consideration to anything and everything around it, some things were just outside the rules. The outliers, the variables of life that made life the incalculable thing it was, were needed. They were part of the equation.

Of course, Dan simplified things further. There's an exception to every rule. And some people broke the mold.

Dan looked around inside the train car. It took him a moment to realize there was a slight problem with it.

"Hey! Where are the seats in this thing? There's nothing even to hold onto!"

"Hit it," Barro said.

"WINGO!" Ozzy flipped the switch and the rockets on the train car ignited. It accelerated down the tracks, all the way out of town, gaining more and more speed.

Dan was slammed into the back of the car by the sudden burst of acceleration, his screams muffled by the sound of the jet engines. The train sped down the tracks heading north, as if it was any other train going to Canterlot. At speeds rapidly approaching Mach Four.

"So, how's this supposed to get him through the bad guys? The train tracks don't go all the way to Mount Prosperity," Michael said.

"We've got a ramp set up just before he gets to Canterlot. It'll launch him right over Mount Harmony and all the way to Prosperity. Heck of a ride, but he'll be fine," Ozzy said.

Wait, Ozzy?

"What happened to your accent?"

Ozzy grinned. "I'm not actually Ozzy Osbourne. You guys got that, right?"

"Ohh... oh. Sure. Yeah, totally." They didn't.

Not only that, the three of them weren't right about the ramp, either. Yes, a ramp had been constructed to launch Dan and the train car above the mountain, but none of them really knew how to build ramps properly. The train car smashed through the ramp and continued going.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGGHGH!! AAAUUGH AAAUUUGH AAAAUGHHHH!!" Every bump, jolt and jump sent Dan's heart jumping in his chest. Back flat against the rear of the train car, he was helpless as the rocket-powered ride raced the rails.

"NEVER!! NEVER AGAIN!! NO TRAINS!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGH!!" Slowly, Dan tried to lower himself to the floor. If he could crawl, he might be able to open the door and jump out. Which sounded like a good idea at that time.

Then, the train car derailed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Dan's world was suddenly turned on its side as the train car fell on its side, sending him flat back into the side wall. The rocket engines, however, continued rocketing and boosted the train on the ground, causing it to slide parallel with the train tracks.

The train tunnel out of Canterlot might've been a challenge, considering the train couldn't hit it. But, it seemed to work itself out, as the train car simply smacked into the side of the mountain and began rocketing up the side of the mountain.

So maybe the mountain was going to act like a big ramp for the train. Except it wasn't.

Still standing back in Ponyville, Barro, Michael and Ozzy watched the carnage.

"Yeah, he may actually need our help. Mike, get the gunship."

"It's in the shop still."

"Wait," Barro thought. "That would mean the only aircraft in town is-"

"Blimey!" Ozzy clapped them both on the back. "Good luck with alla that, ya innits. Don't be no stranger, sen?"

Comments

[Napalm monster]

Jesus Christ this is still season one?

[Booster Spice]

Only one aircraft in town?

Time to go for Darwin awards.

Call the Beagle.

You see Dan, this is what happens when youre outa Meatloaf.

[LadyLeomon]

A new chapter means it’s ~Sunday~ now let me see n’ere *dons reading glasses*

Still in the “climb to Final Boss” phase, dammit I always hated those ... though it was always a chance to get some last-minute loot and/or a save point so it (usually) evened out.

Well Bob’s my uncle, it’s Ozzy! How be ya mate? And *squee* it’s Michael! Now we really can’t lose (Michael still needs to enter a legitimate raffle and win that set of golf clubs he wanted

Aaaaaaand that went South faster than a duck who missed the alarm ... what now?

Now for my Favourite Quotes is what! So:

”I'ssa safe'es 'uggin traka a wheels 'ere come outta da Stone, mate. Nuthin' be smoover toppin' those shiny girders than ole' mumsy. Loik a roit babe'll yol be, dessin? Smooves ride you eva 'ad. No even gonna ticket ya!"

Dan looked at the griffon, then turned to Barro. "...What?"

Translation: It's the safest hugging track of wheels ever to come out of Griffonstone. Nothing is smother on the top of the rails. You'll be like a baby in mom's arms, smoothest ride you ever had, no ticket needed.

"He says you'll be fine," Barro replied.

Okay now I’m an English pedigree ... but I’m ridiculously grateful for that translation (which despite Ozbarn being a Pony-sorry Griffinfied version of Ozzy Ozbourne ... I just can’t help imagining him sounding like a less-annoying Austin Powers for some reason

"Yes, yes, yes and?"

"Did you get what you wanted?"

"I- obviously," Dan said. Then, stopped, thought, braced himself against the doorway. "Obviously... I... yeah. Yeah, I did." He looked back at Barro, nodded again. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. And thank you, too."

"Oi," Ozzy said, "yol off'in on 'til it's over, innit? Blokes' anna ready up, sen."

Michael smiled and waved at Dan. "I have no idea what this guy said. But he's probably saying you should get going."

"That's right. You've got a train to catch," Barro said.

The right mix of emotional and humour, I love it (and thanks again for the translation)

"We've got a ramp set up just before he gets to Canterlot. It'll launch him right over Mount Harmony and all the way to Prosperity. Heck of a ride, but he'll be fine," Ozzy said.

Wait, Ozzy?

"What happened to your accent?"

Ozzy grinned. "I'm not actually Ozzy Osbourne. You guys got that, right?"

"Ohh... oh. Sure. Yeah, totally." They didn't.

... They didn’t and I didn’t either

So maybe the mountain was going to act like a big ramp for the train. Except it wasn't.

Still standing back in Ponyville, Barro, Michael and Ozzy watched the carnage.

"Yeah, he may actually need our help. Mike, get the gunship."

"It's in the shop still."

"Wait," Barro thought. "That would mean the only aircraft in town is-"

"Blimey!" Ozzy clapped them both on the back. "Good luck with alla that, ya innits. Don't be no stranger, sen?"

Oh buck you Ozzy, I’m not fooled!

Phew and that’s everything I love (most) about this week’s chapter and I’ll eagerly await the next!

Awesome as always and I’ll see you ~next time~

Your Eternal Fan ^_^
(Thanks for making a long weekend more bearable as always Barro)