Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1)

by Barrobroadcaster

Rad: Hold The Line(Revenge Isn't Always On Time)

Dan was perfectly, perfectly fine letting others take the lead. And that's an extra perfect more than just the regular perfect, but they were both kind of sarcastic, mostly because someone else being in charge unnerved him. Still, he was fine letting others lead. WHEN they knew what they were doing. About twenty minutes after they once again braved the snow, it was clear that it was not the case.

"Doctor..."

"-but if there WAS a way to have gotten her out at THAT time, I would have tried it! And I know I would have been able to do it, even if I wasn't dealing with Cybermen and Daleks AT THE SAME TIME!"

"Doctor..." Dan said again, through gritted teeth.

"And it's not like this hasn't happened before. Gonna have to install some kind of training module in the TARDIS when I finally get back and... well, find it, first. But on the job training is just so awful, don't you agree? So I'm going to have to start doing SOMETHING for the new companions so they don't wind up like Derpy-"

"DOCTOR!" Dan yelled. "We've been going around in circles for the past ten minutes, you bow-tied nimrod!" He snatched the burnt piece of metal from Doctor Whooves' hooves. "What is this even supposed to be?"

"A dowsing rod. Also called a divining rod and can be used to-"

Dan facepalmed hard. His gloved hand hit his face, wiped downward and when it finally passed his chin, he was smiling. "Doctor, what are dowsing rods used for?"

"Finding water or useful buried ores."

"Exactly," Dan nodded. "Water or minerals. And what happens to be surrounding us right now?"

The Doctor sighed. "Snow?"

"SNOW!!" Dan swung the 'dowsing rod,' nearly hitting Whooves in the head. "WE CAN'T DOWSE FOR ANYTHING IN THE MIDDLE OF A BLIZZARD! It would be like expecting to get good use of a metal detector INSIDE AN IRON MINE!"

"Yes, but... I thought," the Doctor looked around nervously, as if searching for the answer on the ground. "I thought that... maybe, since the rails are metal, they might cause a stronger reaction?"

Dan stopped. "You know, that might actually work. IF THIS WAS A DOWSING ROD!!!" He chucked the piece of metal into the distance.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I just... I was thinking on my feet, well, hooves, but-"

"Will you SHUT UP for two seconds?!"

Doctor recoiled. "I'm sorry!"

"SHUT UP!!!!!" Dan shouted, loud enough to echo in the blizzard somehow. For a moment, there was just silence as more snow fell. "Look... I know you're not exactly brimming with confidence right now. You've been shaken up, it happens. You need to relax when that happens. If you're not sure of your footing, thinking on your feet is not the best option."

"I know, I just..." the Doctor looked down. "While you were missing, I tried to rescue everypony else myself. But Rice... he tricked me. Derpy had an idea to have us infiltrate his evil lair through the mail room."

"You know, you actually said this already. While you were rambling on and on trying to dowse for the railroad in a blizzard," Dan interjected.

The Doctor nodded. "Yes, but what I didn't tell you was... was that Rice can duplicate my technology. He caught us, was threatening Derpy unless I gave up the TARDIS... my sonic screwdriver and everything else. I don't even know how he KNEW I was The Doctor but..."

"You're telling me you didn't just announce 'I'm the Doctor' when he first found out about you?"

"Alright I did, but he had no way of knowing about those other things," Whooves said, holding his head. "Urrggh, he has no idea what kind of damage he could do, what he's holding onto."

Dan shrugged. "That's never stopped him before, unfortunately. He's an idiot that calls himself a genius scientist. He lost his son over some kind of racist or political issue with the princesses of old Equestria. Basically, he hates magic and wants to create a new Equestria from Earth which has no magic so that he can rule over the world Equestria could have been. And get revenge on the regime responsible for his son's death at the same time."

"Heh heh," Doc chuckled. "He's not the first to try that. It never works out."

"Again, that's never stopped him before. I might actually be sympathetic if he hadn't tried to murder me and my friends," Dan remarked. "For all the talk of superiority and techno-garbage, he just wants his kid back." His eyes drifted down for a moment. Something about what he said did make him feel just a pang of sadness. He was suddenly reminded of Chrys, Fluffle Puff, Phoenix, Twilight and Spike.

Rice didn't have a big family. Dan, since coming to Equestria, suddenly found himself with what he was beginning to call his very large family. What would happen if he lost his family? Wouldn't he stop at nothing to get them back?

Wouldn't he stop at nothing?

"Uh, Doc?"

"Yes?"

"Where's Rarity?"

"Oh, uhhh..." The pair began to look around frantically. "Rarity! RARITY!!!"

"We just got you back! We can't lose you again, that's not fair to anyone!"

"RARITY!"
"RARITY!!!!"

"Boys," Rarity said. "There's really no need to be so loud. I'm quite alright."

"Rarity!" Dan grabbed and hugged her. "Oh, thank goodness. We thought we lost you again! If we lost you in the blizzard, we might never have found you!"

Rarity pulled away. "Because of my white coat? Darling, you do realize we're still all wearing winter clothes, don't you?"

"I know but... you could have... lost those, too or... something," Dan stammered. "Whatever. You're back now." In truth, Dan was actually happy he found Rarity because it was one of the earlier goals before Ponyville's destruction. So, in Dan's mind, he kind of was considering Rarity's return as a win for him. His only win lately.

"I'm fine, Dan. And I found the railroad."

"WHAT?!" the males exclaimed.

"Shush. Lower your voices and follow me. Quickly!"

"But how did you find the railroad?" Rarity asked.

"I went to get the 'dowsing rod' after Dan threw it and it was next to the rail."

"Oh," the males went again.

Dan nodded. "When your first plan fails, try something extremely random."

"I like to say 'Hold tight and pretend it's a plan!'" the Doctor added.

"I'm sure you do." They followed Rarity through the blizzard. Her horn lit the way through the falling snow.

---

Rarity had not just found the train, she had also found what appeared to be a new train station. With a train at it. Seemingly out of nowhere, an entire assembly area seemed to materialize. But they also found they were not alone. Not GenoHaradan agents, however- it was Team Rocket. And Writhe N. Payne was leading them.

The sour-looking perpetually sweat-soaked lawyer was on top of a train car with a couple Rocket Grunts when he noticed Dan and the others. He adjusted his glasses, spotting all three of them the exact same time they saw him.

"Hey!" Dan pointed, "It's that asshole again!"

"Perfect, it's that asshole again," Writhe said, sneering. "Well? What are you idiots waiting for?! Shoot them!!"

The grunts opened fire with a pair of submachine guns. Bullets perforated the snow but Rarity produced a shield fast enough to protect them.

"Start the train! Get us out of here!" Writhe shouted. The yellow pony produced a pistol of his own and fired a few parting shots at the shielded group.

"When did that yellow-bellied law loser get the courage to actually shoot at us?!" Dan yelled, crouching behind the shield.

"He may be a coward, but he's also greedy. They often get bold when there's something valuable nearby," Whooves said.

Rarity nodded. "What we'd do for our friends, he's willing to do for money."

"Or himself. Doctor, help me lift the lady."

The train started rolling, albeit slowly. More Rocket Grunts scrambled to get on as it parted, but once they found a suitable position to hang or crouch on the train, began firing from the same black submachine guns with little red 'R's on them.

"Mr. Payne, they're not stopping! Grenade!" One of the grunts tossed a grenade that exploded almost as soon as it hit the ground. A cloud of gas blew forth from the blast, but not a second later did Dan, Rarity and Doctor Whooves come charging through. The stallion and human held the unicorn's legs while her head was lowered, shielding them with her magic. With their own legs free, the men ran with the mare, using her as a ram of sorts.

"Dan darling?" She looked behind her.

But the human was too focused. With the Doctor's eyes averted as he held and charged with her hindlegs, Dan was left to steer. And he steered Rarity right into the side of the train, using her as a battering ram. Of sorts.

*KUNG*

Payne was already making his way to the train's engine when the impact reverberated through the freight cars. The train shook but continued rolling on, gaining speed as it pushed through the snow. Yeah, it can apparently keep going even when snow is completely covering the tracks like a foot deep. Polar Express ain't got shit on the Payne Train.

The Rockets stopped firing as the train gained speed. Dan, Rarity and Doctor Whooves were too dazed to pursue immediately and take advantage of its slow acceleration to climb on.

"I recommend AGAINST... st-strongly AGAINST bashing our heads into any more train cars. Or similarly sturdy objects from now on," Doctor Whooves said.

"I'll bash your head into wh... whatever I want," Dan said, struggling to stand.

"The train is getting away!" Rarity exclaimed.

"We're not letting it!" Dan said, giving chase. Reluctantly, Rarity and Whooves followed him. And that lasted for less than a minute before Dan grabbed his knees.

"We need... something."

"I don't think we'll be able to rely on the train schedule," Whooves commented.

"I have an idea!" Dan jumped on the Doctor's back. "Hi-ho Doctor! AwaAAAAAAAGH!" The pair fell over as Doctor Whooves collapsed. Even as a pony, he was not equipped to carry others.

"I don't think that's going to work," Rarity said. She then raised a hoof, "Perhaps they left behind something at the train station!"

"It's worth a shot. Come on!"

They ran back to the train station. And they found the most intriguing things. The most incredible, useful, miraculous things they could have found outside an abandoned train station being used by black market mobsters. They found-

"Boxes!" Dan exclaimed. "Doctor, I've found something to bash your head into."

"Polite decline," Whooves said.

"Dan, use this," Rarity said, hovering the dowsing rod over to him.

Whooves nodded. "Yes! Now we can use it on these boxes to dowse for something useful!"

"Or." Dan whacked the side of the nearest crate with the piece of metal. He continued whacking violently until it broke open. "That."

And inside, they found a vehicle that would help them catch up to that train.

Author's Note:

We certainly see a lot of vehicles for Dan and company to use. What should he see this time?
A. Hoverboards from Back To The Future Part 2
B. Scooty Puff Sr. from Futurama
C. The Pattywagon from Spongebob Squarepants: The Movie
D. Dollar's Winterized Custom Warthog from Halo: Across
E. Dustchu's actual goddamn car
F. Other- make a suggestion

Comments

[Sigmacipher]

The Lizard zord thing from Legend of Zelda Breath of the wild.

Or the train from Spirit Tracks.

[Booster Spice]

As much fun it would be having everyone stack up on the hoverboard, itll have to be Plan D for the Man D, Dan.

First rule of looking for something. If you dont see it immediately after turning right round, ignore it and go do something else. At some random time it will get offended at you ignoring you, and take retribution by attacking you.

Try not to lose LEGO.

[JakeAndDollars]

Drops phone and ridiculously large reading glasses, runs down stairs and flings open the door to the garage.

"That bastard... I'ma coming Chuppah baby!"

~Dollars

P.S. the Payne train... Okay be honest, how long have you been holding on to that...

[LadyLeomon]

A new chapter means it's ~Sunday~ now lemme see n'ere *dons reading glasses*

Still lost in a snowy tundra, okey doke ... Dammit Doc! Author be willing I'm praying for a "Dan vs Doctor Whooves" battle just so he can smack you for this blunder! Time Lord my furry sit-upon! And-Rarity? Rarity?! RARITY!!! How could you go missing after everything-oh! Ohh thank the Fausticorn she came back! And she found the elusive choo-choo to advance the plotline! Now let's get a chuggin'

Ah buck me! I was hoping this fool was still cowering in the back of that Tesco after Dan laid the smackdown on the Genie Hardeehar bunch ... I spelt their name right, right? I'm pretty sure I spelt their name right ... yeah I did! Moving on:

Wait, wait, wait one damned second! Why is Team Rocket here?! I know they're criminals but they were just into making big bucks and stealing Pokémon n' stuff! Silver August (of the illustrious Silver League Networks) said it best when Team Plasma, during the events of Black and White 2 just said "screw it! We're flat-out terrorists now!" just seems like they should've been the ones best suited for this ... unless Payne just paid them enough for the job?

On COME ON! They missed th goddamned train AGAIN! But Dan will have a plan when they open the box! I'm hoping for either the Futurama option or ... the train from RE2 complete with an angry Birkin in Final Form for plot convenience!

Now for my favourite quotes;
(BRB!)

Phew and that's everything I loved (most) about this week's chapter. Like always thank you for making my weekend complete with my weekly reset, don't know what I'd do without it!

Awesome as always and I'll see you ~next time~

Your Eternal Fan ^_^

[proto20]

A or F (Dragoon from Kirby Air Ride or Master Cycle Zero from Breath of the Wild)

[Dustchu]

We certainly see a lot of vehicles for Dan and company to use. What should he see this time?
A. Hoverboards from Back To The Future Part 2
B. Scooty Puff Sr. from Futurama
C. The Pattywagon from Spongebob Squarepants: The Movie
D. Dollar's Winterized Custom Warthog from Halo: Across
E. Dustchu's actual goddamn car
F. Other- make a suggestion

I like how I'm an option //wheeze
Though with that being an option, it'd be a pasty white 05 single cab Silverado lol

Unless if you had a better option in mind, lmfao.

Good chapter as always buddy, good chapter!

Though if I had to throw out an alternative option, I would saaay... //think
Honestly, I have no idea, a lotta contraptions come to mind.

But for hilarity's sake, hoverboards, but...
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61vUMovhlHL._SX425_.jpg
These.

[Barrobroadcaster]

9528736
I laughed harder at your comment and especially the picture you linked than I should have. Thank you for that. As I'm typing this, I'm actually crying from laughter because I just love the idea of henchmen riding THOSE hoverboards.

9526235
9525033
Okay, that's three different recommendations from Legend of Zelda. Did I miss something and Zelda's popular right now? Ignoring the fact that I'm going to have Pony Link show up this episode anyway.

9525321
Actually, I came up with that two seconds before I wrote it. It does fit well. Honestly, since Phoenix is going to appear in this story consistently(he's main cast completely) we need a rival for him. Originally, was going to be Boba Fett but I wanted Dan to fight him too much. Instead, Paynes are going to be making more appearances

and Godot and Edgeworth soon enough

to round things out. Dan has Vice/Rice, Phoenix will have Payne.

9525034
That's two votes for D. D for Dollars.

Also you're thinking of Mega Blocks. Halo crossed over with Mega Blocks, not legos.

[Dustchu]

9528769
lol, you're welcome fam

[Razzy]

I'm kinda hoping it's a single Segway.